r/DankChristianMemes | jesus that was quick!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- Top posts from r/DankChristianMemes on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay ! Video credits below.
Narrator ► / @jaymick
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As a Christian this was extremely enjoyable and funny thank you for the laugh!
same
@baronbunni I ruined it
Same lol
We really are making massive fools of ourselves
As a Christian as well, yeah actually, a couple of these felt more like making fun of Christians, but honestly most of us need to be taken down a peg or twelve anyway. Especially the ones who think being gay is a sin despite that being a mistranslation.
As an atheist I totally relate and understand all of these memes
Presuming you made the choice after being taught about religious believes and deciding they were not for you. Yes.
One of the many benefits of learning about beliefs other than your own; NEW MEMES
finally, christian memes that arent people being *_stupid_*
i meannnn
If mainstream Christianity was like this it would be tolerable even kinda enjoyable sometimes.
Never thought I'd see emkay reading memes from DCM
Probably trying to keep the fundies off their ass for reading r/religious fruitcakes
why
Da cookie monster
@@toastboi1330 🍪
Well Robin would never have done it. It’s Jack though.
12:15
I love how there’s one story where these seven brothers tried to exorcise a demon with something like “In the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches”
Because the demon’s retort was hilarious: “Okay, okay. I know Jesus, I know Paul, and… you are? Oh, yes. You’re about to get your ass beat” and kicks their butt 😂
I’m imagining that story happening with the guy having that facial expression
This is hilarious. Unexpected, but I love it! Thank you Jack! I think I know a story that could belong here: I once knew a nun, she was incredibly sweet and kind and quiet. She was a Franciscan and had the whole brown habit and veil. Someone asked her, in the middle of summer, if she wasn't hot in all that? She replied "Well, it's hotter in hell." The person thought she said "It's hotter than hell!" Yeah that took a minute to get cleared up 🤣
!! they also generally use linens and cotton fabrics so they wont overheat in warmer climates !!
The whole Mommy/Daddy thing is a personal thanks I hate it.
not just you
Didnt expect emkay to make this
Screw him
Chicken nuggies
🗿🥃☕️🚬🍷
Nuh uh
@@christinerogers6490Yuh uh
Chicken nuggies
@@christinerogers6490 Yuh uh
The Rapture is gonna be like a sports car rally
BC and AD were themselves developed hundreds of years after Jesus, and then applied by a Roman emperor after some rough fidgeting of time. The application of BCE and CE are to distance the chronological scale resulting from the political/theological origins, without upsetting modern date-keeping methods.
They are also more accurate than AD/BC since from a raw standpoint, Jesus could have been born anytime between 10 BC and 10 AD, for both cases of which his ministry didn't begin until roughly 30 AD when he was somewhere between the ages of 20 and 40 years old.
So, if BC/AD are literally impossible for beginning at Jesus' birth, why should we care about any religious or theological significance it might have?
As a Christian, this is just top tier humor in the church
As an atheist, I agree. So much fertile meme territory in the Bible
Imagine mentioning Nick Cage and not even knowing he's in Dead By Daylight now. Also the next killer in Dead by Daylight is gonna be the Xenomorph from Alien.
i am SO glad i dont play that game anymore.
@@captain_khaos It's pretty fun if you don't take it overly seriously but there is still a cheater problem but they have actually started combatting it.
@@AIHumanEqualitythe only time DbD is genuinely fun is a game amongst friends. As soon as ranks are on the table every games community becomes toxic af.
Yeah Jesus would be my "person living or dead I wanna have a beer with." Allthough I think I would be about the milkuonth person whit that idea and in the end he is just this dude who was just charismatic and he would have to explain for the millionth time that he has no idea why people keep on saying he would be the son of God or you would actually meet the son of God and well that would be awkward if you were trying to prove he isn't and he would be like "its okay, wanna drink wine ?" And you'd be like "why did you turn my beer into wine?" And he'd be like: "magic!*jazz hands*"
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
fun fact, jesus's bestie was a prostitute, and he told men who couldnt keep their eyes off women to gouge their eyes out. jesus was pro-feminist before women even had governments to give them rights.
Heck yeah! Free wine!
This cracked me up!
i feel like it wouldn't be free
Priests are called "father". So what's stopping me from calling them "daddy"?
😶
your not related to them
"bless me daddy UwU"
One of my favourite jokes
Man:sorry daddy, I've been naughty
Priest:for the last time it's, "forgive me father for I have sinned"
@@YourAvarageNerd bro have some respect man
THIS IS MY FAVORITE SUBREDDIT
Whoops! Moses wasn’t the one on the arc, it was Noah!
Moses split the Red Sea
Didn't know Noah was a mathematician! I hope he draws a good arc.
Saw a dude begging for money one time for a new jet... his 4th. He said his last jet couldn't make it all the way around the world without refueling. So they said "so Jesus doesn't want you to have a lay over?" He said "what if I have to go 15,000 miles?"
They said "go the other direction, it's only 7,000 miles"
6:47 In Russian and Belarusian it's actually almost like that!🤓 (maybe somewhere else too, idk)
It's " Наша эра" and "До нашей эры", and "Наша эра" and "Да нашай эры", which *literaly* translate to "our era" and "before our era"😊
10:31 Making this worse, it might have already happened. The foretelling was actually a retelling, but in order for kingdoms built on Christianity to maintain control, it was turned from history to prophecy. Nobody expects it to have already happened.
I haven't identified as a Christian in over a decade now, and I kinda hate how hard these things still hit.
I think maybe the number one misunderstanding about christianity is that we have to be good to earn salvation. It seems to me like almost all non-christians believe this about christianity.
Actually you just have to admit that you cant earn it yourself, and then accept the gift freely given that Jesus earned your salvation for you.
We should still strive to be better than we were, but yeah, it seems most non-Christians views of Christianity are informed by the more… fringe ends of it, sadly.
I don't "worship" the devil but he's a pretty cool guy and i think Jesus would like him and it's cheaper than church.
😶..
When are they gonna start their peace talks already? It’s been YEARS!
Y’all think Satan was just going through his edgelord phase? Why else would he be in hell punishing sinners?
@@ieatcheeselikeyouforbreakf2654Last time i checked the only reason the devil actually got sent to hell was because he was tired of god being what we call a rich politician that is in control of people. So rebellious teen phase?
Jesus would hate him because he a cool guy! Why u think he's in hell
I was once (abt 1982) told by a "Christian" friend that i should believe in Jesus... just to be "safe." I responded that, to be "safe," i would Also believe in Bhudda, Satan, the large rock we were passing at that moment, the Sun & Allah, too. ...to be "safe." (To this Day, i, as an agnostic, understand Christianity Far better than She does...) Many years later she asked why i never believed in Jesus. I reminded her of that walk and what she'd said. She denied saying anything of the sort.
Most other "Christians" i've met before then or since have likewise been pretty much wingnuts that'll screw you over to benefit another "Christian" if the opportunity presents. That's been My experience, anyway. I steer clear of them as soon as i find out. Usually doesn't take long for them to start spouting off about how Happy they are since they found Jeeeeeeezus...😂
Allah is the Arabic word for God and Satan is the same religion. Other than that, that was a good response. You could also add Egyptian mythology and Muhammad in because. Egyptian mythology because it's older than Judaism(which one group of evolved into Christianity), and Muhammad becase he led to a new evolution of Judaism and Christianity, so why not believe the most advanced version of Judaism and the oldest religion "just in case" as well.
0:26 And so are most forms of fun, and I find Crocs comfortable to wear during overnight cleaning shifts, so unless Jesus wants to pay my bills, he can fuck right off.
It's nice to to be able to laugh at yourself as a Christian with memes like this.
as an ex-christian satanist, these are funny as hell. thank you jack.
The Ex-Christian satanist when the Ex-Satan Christianist walks in:
I wanna ask what the church of Satan is like
Do you guys do sleepovers disguised as rituals or something like that?
@@raul-aurelianserban8295no, its a christian thing
@@raul-aurelianserban8295hey there, Satanist here. It's a loose Religion without an actual church. There are some satanic church uhm...groups who are more organized, offering entry into their ranks for a fee but that's mostly just support and nothing else.
Some offer you a neat little red card that states you're a Satanist, but that's really just novelty.
If You wanna know what the satanic religion is actually about, imagine a good amount of common sense, mixed with an "eye for an eye" mentality.
Here's a fun fact btw, there are the satanic equivalents to the 10 commandments, and one is literally "don't engage in any sexual activity with minors" , so in a sense it's already centuries ahead of Christianity.
If you do have any interest in reading up on it. I'm sure the satanic temple and the church of Satan would be 2 great sources to read up on.
@@raul-aurelianserban8295 this is actually a hilarious reply, thank you. unfortunately we do not. it would be amazing if we did though. but to be fair i cant get to their HQ physically because they're located near the west coast so i wouldn't know.
Ok, Father Nathan Monk is an absolute legend, I would definitely listen to mass if he was the priest/pastor leading the lecture
I can't believe Christ didn't arrive in his own (Honda) Accord
Wasn't sure if i wpuod enjoy this one cuz I'm Atheist but it was pretty hilarious. Can't decide if the upside-down cross or the Elk God are my favorite lol.
Jack singing bits
1:29
4:00
4:25
7:11
10:32
14:31
16:35
Thank you
Yayyy ty
5:45
I mean to be fair though, it was the Catholic Church, I mean that was kinda why they left for America.
So they can do it to others.
10:08 As a Christian, I AGREE WITH THIS SO MUCH. What Christians don't understand is that love and support are two very different things. God loves us, but doesn't support everything we do.
Slowjamastan seeing that crocs are sinful:YES! YES! WE WIN
Day 8 of aksing for wholesome memes
Christian memes? NAH
I prefer FAUSTISM MEMES
PRAISE THE FAUSTICORN!
Day 1001 of asking for “Hi, my name’s Jack. I’m asking for some feedback.”
Jesus christ, more memes with Jack!
Obligatory :3 :
:3
I thought the lgbt community just hated jk Rowling not the boom series. Also, not all Catholics hate Harry Potter. Source: my friends family is catholic and they have the movies.
"Give me your wallet if you truly believe in your god" is a variant of Pascal's wager called Pascal's mugging. It has the same risk/reward structure and infinite bliss/suffering versus finite loss/gain arguments, but is just a little bit rephrased to show its ridiculousness.
8:26 The fact you called noah moses nearly killed me XD (This was hilarious ngl XD)
Edit: Also yeah I never really got 10:15 like guy? yeah they don't fit your ideals but they still humans and deserved to be treated as such, you don't need to agree with someone to love them like damn, the hypocrisy puts a bad name on christians
It's like r/religiousfruitcake except they usually, they are actually joking and just aren't being literalist extremists.
Everyone knows Jesus drives a Honda, he just doesn’t like to talk about it.
For I do not speak of my own Accord.
The whole thing about Christians eating pork is that it says in the Bible that we can eat anything, even food that has been sacrificed to other gods (if there wasn't anything else to eat). Mark 7:18-19 is one of the passages that talks about what we eat no longer defiling us (fyi, it's Jesus talking in the passage.
"And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, 19 since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.)"
Christian god was the goat programmer, he pulled 5 all nighters to finish 100% of the project before taking a break.
Alternatively, god forgot to create sleep up untill the 7th day.
Yes, and I propose that ACE (after common era) started after 2020
Confuscious got his first post-humus award in 1CE. That's where the C came from. Checkmate, Christians.
0:57 I already know that I will go to hell so I might as well worship the devil. It's not going to make my situation worse.
9:30 You meant like the old woman instead who gave all she had...right?
0:04 Top 10 anime reveals
The thing about the pork one is that -/Christians we actually read the New Testament. And so while it would probably be technically considered a sin, we are forgiven and also it tastes good, so. . .
What is our excuse for crossdresing then?
Also is Leventticus just stating rules no one is gonna folow any way. Like the no sea food eating or killing the homosexuals( men) when the whole idea of killing is forbiden by the 10 absolute rules who anyone knows and should respect.
Also nowhere in bible says anything about girls sleeping, from what I know with girls bein wrong so I guess they are safe.
@@daniel-teodorcirca7524 I’m pretty sure that Leviticus one was originally don’t sleep with a boy, as in a kid. Thats why women aren’t told not too. It was about pedophillia.
9:53 This got me so good lol
As an Uber driver we confirm Jesus Christ takes taxi rides for those we need.
1:00 was just doing the same thing the Church did, you can’t be mad at them
as a formal muslim turned atheist i totally understand and relate to these memes
1:00 this is literally how the catholic church worked before the protestant revolution
Or instead of Chris with a T it could be shortened for Christian!
Jesus is here…
The fog is coming
The fog is coming
The fog is coming
The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming
The fog is coming
9:26 I did know that story and died, time to find that meme and share it
2:12 i had zombie apocalypse for next year as a hope since 2020
1:14 I was curious to see if it was the correct verse and it is LOL
Bruger™
OH MY THEY TRADEMARKED IT
7:50 Interesting, they accidentally stumbled on a door of truth. The afterlife exists regardless of one's opinion on it. But don't worry, hell doesn't exist if you don't believe in it. But your consciousness is eternal. When you eventually pass, imagine being in the void of nothingness for eternity with nothing but your own thoughts. No vision, no conversation, no feel, no taste. Just thinking.. on and on.. on and on.. until the end of the.. Well, existence..
9:32 imma need a minute to process that one
10:17 The way you handle people like that is by asking them if they think the followers of the Antichrist will know that they are his followers? Or do they think that, being the "deciver," he would convince people that all of their intolerance, discrimination, and hate actually make them good Christians instead of being the evil that it truly is. Love your neighbor and don't judge others is pretty clear. If you don't follow Christ's 2 main teachings, are you a really Christian? 😂
2:15 okay WHO HAD TARTARUS FOR 2023!?
"huh?"
*The blood moon is rising*
YEP RUN!
If even a single one of these memes is dank, I will eat my graphics card
Well?
dank and moldy memes
Go on. Eat it
guys i dont think hes coming back
Well. Jesus took the wheel. It just so happened to be a Hyundai Elantra specifically.
Seriously? EMKAY, OF ALL PEOPLE? Forcing religion down our throats?
That's an unsubscribe from me
I have officially made the choice to switch from fakeout to this after watching fakeout die. Now i just hope this has the same quality
I follow father nathan monk
You just got religion'd like to revert the changes
I gotta say it, I'm probably gonna get flamed for it. 9:00 because no matter who you are, everyone gets together to pray for better times. If there where no bad days, then why would we need to ask God for a favor?
7:58 - would you freeze yourself ?
The technology doesn't even work to get a intact brain out on the other side. Life kind of sucks now, life after 1000 years of lobbying will suck more.
I'm waiting for Kirk Cameron to finish the Left Behind series. Theres a few more books to go.
Yeah, that last one was the seed that made me suspect that the 40K universe is parodying humanity's whole "we need a tribe, whether it's a religion, a nation, whatever lets me hate on others for not being part of my in-group" tendencies.
0:51 I mean, that's basically how the Catholic church operated until Martin Luther wrote his callout post.
Am- am i the only Christian person who likes Harry Potter- I-
4:28
Imean-
its because of THE WITCHES
I love how Jack reads the numbers for the Bible verses as times and dates.
BCE and CE basically exist so that people don't have to use religious terms to refer to the calendar that only became the norm due to the church's heavy influence through history
my personal take on the matter is that whichever one you use is up to personal preference, and you shouldn't let people tell you off for using one or the other
'Doing the David' sounds like some kind of very quirky but also interesting dance
Video 135 of asking all narrators, Slazo and Kenny to narrate in one single video
They really just said “JEsuS TaKE ThE wHEeL!!!!!”
3:29 haha good joke literally just taking about this with an old lady
6:45 if i dont know joan of ark she fought for the french won and then got burnt at the stake by brits for heresy.
There were a lot more memes about supporting pride than I thought there would be
The Dare cop one made me laugh so hard! I actually had to pause the video! Thanks for the laugh 😂❤
8:25 this implies that the two of both species were the same gender, either that or one pair just had a LOT of babies.
1:53 5:49 11:15 13:29 wait a sec.....
that's a bible verse, not a reference to what someone said as a text message.
man im early
early gang
Yeah Even before the Obvious P.O.S Sex Site Bots...
I’m not even a Christian but I enjoy these a lot 😄
Those were the least awful christian memes I've watched until now
6:45 okay but in all fairness a large point of her heresy trials was the fact that she crossdressed, and she was killed for it
Hey fellow kids convert to Christ
Literally
Congrats, you're first
ur first
9:52 funny cuz they were extinct hundreds of years before Noah 😂
I swear to god every Christian memes video I've ever seen have atleast one obi wan 😭
Hey christians are not supposed to hate gays just hat the sin and love the person
10:10 THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS NOW
3:19 Third reaction: Colors weave into a spire of flame
I suddenly can imagine when jack meets god he and god would fist bump
NOOO MY CROCS…. I can’t wear crocs anymore since it’s a sin *starts aggressively sobbing*
What's the problem if you compensate by doing even MORE good deeds