Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Single? | Ask A Black Man | MadameNoire
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- This is the Status Report episode where the men get real about their role in society, why women have surpassed them professionally, and how that dynamic affects our relationships.
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Director/Producer: Raven Carter
Why do successful Black women have a hard time finding a man? Does A college degree matter? They're are many questions that these men discuss that several may have issues on. This panel of men discuss the reasons why. Let us know what you think in the comments below! .
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MADAMENOIRE is a passionate, cutting-edge web publication geared towards African-American women. The publication's mission is to unite black women at various stages of their lives, around a common aspiration for better, more fulfilling lifestyles. MADAMENOIRE provides breaking news, an open forum for discussion and cosmopolitan advice born from the lived experiences and needs of these women of color (which includes mothers, young professionals, fashionistas and intellectuals).
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Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Single? | Ask A Black Man | MadameNoire
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The black man was not historically targeted first. There is no order. Enslaved black women were raped in order to continue the slave trade. So, yeah. Neither one of our struggles have been harder than the others. The BM and BW have been equally attacked in different ways due to our differences in gender.
ok....
DaMayorOfNewYork LOL. K.
Thanks for sharing ASHY.
If you're wasting time, then why comment? A smart person wouldn't do that. I don't watch Scandal or any tv because there are little to no positive representations of black men AND women. Please gtf away from me still trying to prove the black men is the only person targeted in our society. I still don't know why black men choose being divisive over unification. You want to shove all these "facts" about black men down black women's throats, yet when we present substantiated data and evidence to yall, all of a sudden we're being irrational and aren't "enlightend." GOODBYE. Carry on. Go tell somebody else about your woes. I'm too busy working on the ground changing the lives of young black people.
LOLOLOL. That escalated quickly. Good day sir.
He lost me when he said women could live at home for years but men get kicked out. That’s a whole lie. Honestly in the black community black women, I️ have noticed, tend to baby they sons and be on they daughters ass all the time. It’s the exact opposite of what dude was saying
Yezzzz so true
shayla delamar
My goodness, sister, i couldn't agree with you more!!!! You nailed it!
That's because blackmen aren't the ones giving birth..., so their not in touch with their emotional side...especially those who have actually never seen one of their seeds being birthed into the world.
Black-women need to wake-up and stop being so quick to join themselves to these type of emotionless cold and calquelating hardnose blackmen who say they know TMH...but show no fruit.
Blackmen who are true believers of the faith...and are in honest relationship with TMH don't carry on in such manner.
You lost me at commenting you need a salad and a thigh master.
That's true. Black men have it easier on average.
they are politely making excuses. Less black men graduate high school and even less go on to college. The majority of black men are not committed, they are not committed to their education, they are not committed to careers or long term jobs, and they are not committed to relationship.
Brown Sugarlove do some research, its not just black men, ALL men are falling behind women on higher education. Why do you think that is? Did you know that the majority of millionaires and billionaire men are college dropouts?
Dexion845 Maybe men are falling behind when it comes to education, but men of other races are making it up by being entrepreneurs/owning a business/being bosses which is very important as it puts money back in the pockets of their families and communities. However with Black women we are getting degrees and businesses in droves. I think some Black men need to just stop blaming everybody and get theirs. Black women have to deal with racism and sexism two obstacles, yet we are overcoming them in droves.
We have our wonderful entertainment industry to thank for that. Black men think they won't get respect from women or won't be a "real nigga" unless they follow thug mentality, sell drugs, and be deadbeats rather than go to college or perfect their craft. It's a sad state we live in but not all of us fell for that crap 👍🏻
Brown Sugarlove Sooooo they can't CLEP off classes and go to community college then get loan for the rest of the credits ? This is BS they are talking here. ..
***** That's what men do .. Provide. Real men anyway. This doesn't mean that women don't work as well. this means that real men provide for their families. That is the ultimate goal here not having a girlfriend forever. Love doesn't need to be mentioned when it should be in a real relationship to begin with so why state the obvious?
How are you gonna have dialog by only have the men complaining with no women to counter. Same when women complaining about their being no successful black men (whatever that is) yet they don't put any men up on the panel to counter. You don't have dialog and topic like this is useless if you don't have another side to counter the other. Its like talking behind someones back. This purposely keeps black women at odds with black men and black men at odds with black women. No real interaction
DaMayorOfNewYork LOL, you're hilarious. I live in the DC area where there is mostly black women. My question to you is what kind of black women have YOU been messing with two not get past the 3rd question. Its not geometry. A variety of sistas out there. Know which ones to walk away from, which ones to talk to and which ones to pursue. Its not easy but you making it as if you need a PHD or something lol
DaMayorOfNewYork Majority of sistas that I've dealt with and all the dates I have been with black women have been okay. There were one or two questionable ones but overall nothing totally disrespectful. Based off your name you deal with sistas in NY and you seem to either go after a certain type that you struggle with and/or refuse to mess with a certain type.
Roger James That is true, Roger. It's always one-sided, whether, men or women. There needs to be an honest dialog.
Roger James good point !
DaMayorOfNewYork you are 100% correct too though. It is a whole lot easier to get BM to reason with BW than it is to get BW to reason with BM.
Stop making excuses my fellow black men.
I am a black man with two degrees.
It's not that hard folks.
SMH
🙌
+Munirah Mujahid
Peace and love!
Yes :) intellect is always attractive
+graitbritton
+graitbritton
Lol
Take your broke back mountain looking self on you underachieving-waste of a human being.
+graitbritton
100.
That's why I'm not checking for them.
I only date foreign now.
On living at home. Why is this even an issue for Black folks who have little assets, money, etc? In other cultures it's a no brainer to live with the family until you marry or even after you marry you remain in the home to pool resources/offset expenses.
***** B/c our culture, in many respects, follows White American culture. White Americans can get away with leaving home early more so than Black Americans because they have more assets and greater access to better paying employment to deal with expenses on their own.
***** I believe it goes back MANY MANY years. It's been said many times do I don't want to sound like a broken record but our men were torn from their family, women had to hold things down, and when they had children, their children quickly repeated the cycle of leaving the home early because they had to. We as a culture want the benefits of other cultures, however we want to take shortcuts to get what "they" have.
Andrea Powell indeed
kamala80 yeah i noticed that with my italian lady friend. when she is there she is with her family. they have a huge house like most italian families. bleed together, they heal together. very passionante. maybe this perspective is missing in more american style thinking.
Damn right... But black people got too much pride... And that's a Global black Problem
I'm just gonna be real no disrespect to anyone, but I feel a lot of Black women date down in order to have a man. They don't care if he is employed, if he is driven, etc. In the long run she ends up tired of carrying both of their weights by herself. Personally, I could careless about a degree, do you have a job? A place of your own? Can you care for yourself? Will you be able to care for our family when we start one? Most men who are "eligible bachelors" often get out of the Black "pool" all together and date outside their race.
BITTERSWEET TV Why do you think most Black men who are "eligible bachelors" date outside the race?
I agree that women shouldn't deal with a man that doesn't have the ability or will to provide. Both parties should bring something valuable to the table. However, I don't know these most men that you speak of. All of my friends that are married, are married to another Black/Brown person. I think the interracial thing is the exception not the rule. Though, I could be wrong.
BITTERSWEET TV is it to have a man or TO HAVE A MAN THEY THINK THEY HAVE CONTROL OVER HMMMMMMMMMMMMM Arsenio
kamala80 mOST BM have never been exposed to kind considerate females and get amazed at how other cultures value males....while our female mothers teach daughters to look down on men .....2) other males have low self est....and go after easy sex (BE ing honest) so he works on his looks more than his honor 3..some guy like sistas like sistas are strategic selecting mates they feel are builders not com-peters
BLACK AFRICAN AMERICAN SOLUTIONS FOR MEN Well, I guess I'm lucky because most (not all but the vast majority) Black women I know are pleasant and intelligent. Women who just want good honest, hardworking men who will be supportive and love them beyond their physical attributes.
Unless I missed it, one thing that wasn't brought up was a person's character. have a Master's but I'm not single bc I want someone with a Masters-- I'm single bc I have yet to meet a man who, regardless of his educational level, is committed to a relationship, has good character, and treats me the way I deserve. Character, communication and chemistry can overcome disparities in $$ and education.
***** Your right and too many women emphasize on superficial attributes of a man and unfortunately look over the good men. A man could be poor beyond measure and upon meeting you everything in his life changes automatically. Not because you gave him anything it's because he saw that you was a quality woman. Some men need that push indirectly it happened to my friend. He met his now wife 11 years ago he was making BABY money compared to her. They linked up and didn't look back now he's making 70+ . I commend you for having that mindset.
Great post Daree Nieves
Daree Allen Nieves AMEN!!
Dee Ja I'll answer your question. Personally if I want to be treated a certain way I'm damn for sure is going to make sure the man is treated the same. I don't believe in one sided relationships. The same way I want to be respected, loved, appreciated, cared for and most importantly feel safe with my partner. I'm going to make sure it's reciprocated towards my man as well.
Daree Allen Nieves 🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾 yes!!!
As a recent college grad I really don't put much value into a degree because it has no weight in terms of intelligence. I can't even count on all my fingers and toes how many college students I've met that couldn't even boil water. As long as you can hold a deep, meaningful conversation, be self-sufficient and desire to be more than someone's slave in the general workforce then we're going places. I found some of the smartest, motivated and successful black men to not have degrees under their belt. Not having a degree shouldn't be a make or break for a relationship.
mizzymolly As I mentioned, if you desire to work for someone else for the rest of your prime then by all means take out as many loans as you can to obtain a degree. My standpoint was that if you're intelligent, self-sufficient, and a go-getter in terms of building a legacy that you can control, then striving for a degree is pointless because you wouldn't need it. I also feel like if you aren't going to work in a highly-skilled profession such as medicine, engineering, science, etc. then your degree is pointless unless you have great networking skills and friends in higher places that can land you a job. Otherwise, most likely after you graduate you'll be waiting tables or working as in "intern" for a while. The stats are there!
+TheAlanakane I agree. OMG my sentiments exactly.
mizzymolly No one here is talking anyone out of going to college. I'm just stating what's REAL. I'm a college grad myself so I feel like my opinion carries even more weight than most. Graduating Magna Cum Laude from Cox still hasn't landed me my dream job. So from that standpoint, I'm encouraging people to build their own dreams without having that piece of paper to feel "validated" by a society that doesn't give a damn. I'm like a Steve Jobs/Bill Gates kind of girl. Most people didn't understand them dropping out of college to build a legacy that far exceeds anything college could ever dream of producing. So as they, I will not explain/defend/or argue my point any further. I can lead a horse to water but I can't make them drink.
+Edson murray I would like to say this to all of you who in your bio-pics who are evidently are Black men. Stop with the calling black women out of their names because you don't know all black women: it shows ignorance. Why would you think anyone with the American history of crazy, evil, low self esteemed, white people has to say about them is relevant? I don't know why the young Black race of men who most of them "Do Not" raise their kids, keep jobs, or seek higher education to further themselves have so much HATRED toward the very women they were born to boggles my mind. Self hatred against yourself, and your women is not going to make other race of people like you more. It's called "Brainwash", and they seek black men because its easier to turn black men against black women. Note: Black women are not phased by this because the older ones know whats going on. Guess what if society ever get rid of black women which I doubt, guess who's next the Black man. Actually, its happening already with all of these shooting you read about. So, Black men keep hating your black women because it shows how much you hate yourself. Black men have a lot of Mental, and Mommie issues, sad.
+Edson murray In your statements you made, you seem like the only bitter one. Why can't you disagree without calling names and using profanity. What's the problem, you are too illiterate to make a point? Dont forget black men is also the bottom of the barrel like black women. I don't see many non black women chasing after black men unless they have money.
Foreigners stay w/their parents until they are married no matter what age...
Most foreigners.. I agree..because I am foreign too
Truth
That’s fucked up
But they don't bring bastards into their parents home either.
Foreigners are NOT a good example for modern western civilization.
To answer why many "successful" black woman are single I will try to be as brief as possible in writing my opinion .
#1... Projection. Woman and men think differently. Because woman value security for herself and future offspring (nurturing nature) when place high importance on a high salary of her mate
Men are not this way. A man places value on beauty....good attitude....respect...sex....being feminine.
A man does not get turned on by a high salary(generally speaking) as a woman does. The woman thinks that her high salary should make her a catch, but actually she is "projecting" her value system....a female value system into a man.
#2.....hypergamy. The act of marrying "up". Man have no
Problem marrying a woman that makes less or much less than a woman.
Woman on the other hand are not socialized to
Do this. She searches for a
Spouse that makes equal or more. This decreases her pool
Of eligible men......
ty cromwell also men generally don't like marrying up cuz men don't like bossy women, sorry stereotypical I know but generally true of a successful woman
Its common sensr i dont understand why women dont see they're projecting their values on men. Having a degree and money isnt a turn on for a guy. Being sexy and looking good....makes you valuable. Women know this, or they wouldn't use make up or obsess over their looks. Dont be fooled guys.
Ty cromwell, dont bother. They will never understand this. Just let them stay single.
It’s weird cause women have all this education and still can’t understand this concept
There aren't too many women who would agree with this and thats just too true to their nature. Stay classy brothers. Watch them wither.
I think it's tough for black women in general these days to find solid relationships. So I don't know if the "successful" part is the underlying factor
Wild Animal Polite I'm not even clowning tho.
I think little additions like that are "ego" protectors but the problems are pretty universal
Napolian Myhand SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol anyyyyyway... that wasn't shade it's a known (and talked about fact). The overwhelming majority of black women in America are single and I'm gonna go ahead and assume they're interested in being in relationships otherwise I doubt I would have heard people complain about it
I just think adding these little side categories is an attempt to side-step the real question.
Which is... "Why are American black women having trouble with being approached for/ maintaining relationships"
& I'm not bald. My hair just don't grow so long ok! =D haha
Napolian Myhand GREAT GRAND!!! FATHER!!!!!!! FUCKER!!!! SHUT THE HELL UP!! }}:-O
This is such bullcrap. The black man was attacked first? They were granted the right to education long before black women. Allowed to vote before black women. Able to own property (which included black women and children) . Received politcal, social, and spiritual positions of leadership when it wasn't a woman's place in society to do any. Black man always play victim. Not to mention the violence domestically and in the AA communities against black women from black men. All the fatherless homes because of them. Stop hating black women.
Meekismwisdom agreed
Meekismwisdom we
You know you can be the first attacked and the first given opportunity too, right?
Meekismwisdom
Sista, I'm a black man from a nuclear family up bringing and i agree with everything you said! Very nice....
Read daughters of the trade...also look what happened to cleopatra
Communication and mutual respect is key for any intimate relationship.
Yes.
Facts no matter the education or job status you may have effective communication skills are a KEY POINT IN ANYTHING.
I wouldn’t want a successful black wife y’all would easily think y’all the man even the most powerful women go home submit to their husband can’t imagine a black women doing that
Yes yes yes respect is everything on both sides
@@Don-vm9ij what a funny joke! Thank goodness you didn't mean that! Because I know that you haven't met every single black woman on Earth
Most Black Women want a man that is on their level mentally and is respectful. It’s really not about papers.
Bullshit. What world you living in.
The issue is the false sense of bw being more mature than their counterparts. This starts in grade school under the guise of " girls mature faster than boys" yes they do..... physically. It has never been proven that female mature faster than boys mentally. Women of all sorts just kinda took that and ran with it which in turn leads to them believing their also smarter than their counterparts.. and eventually overall better. More often than not this is the phsudo science women refer to when they make statements like " he's not on my level mentally or intellectually".
@@spazz-ok9nr good point. Never thought of that perspective. 👍🏾
The disconnect seems more like miscommunication between bm and bw.
Exactly I agree. Black men just love to hate black women. It doesn't matter what they do. They just hate us for no reason and make phony, reaching, excuses to hate us. Nothing more or less. They get a high off of treating and degrading the black woman. Makes them feel better about themselves and makes other races run after them like female dogs.
No disrespect. But, they could've gotten some Black men who have advanced degrees to see what they have to say about this. I'm a Black man, single, no kids, with 3 degrees including a doctorate. Most of the Black guys I know have advanced degrees. Now, I realize that's my limited experience. But, no shade but I think we overhype what Black women are doing. The fact of the matter is Black people are by and large a poor and working poor people who are in last place economically in this country. Lets step our standards up and don't be so impressed with stuff we should be doing.
I don't understand the intention of this post. Why don't you just offer your perspective on the subject as a Black man with advanced degrees. This is a dialog not a declaration. All love and respect due.
I love you lol. I knew there were some good ones out there. God bless you.
kamala80 Oh never mind. I misinterpreted your post.
kamala80 "I think we overhype what Black women are doing" this is the problem with black people, we dont take pride in our accomplishments, we see everything we do as some sort of competition. Im tired of black women being made to feel guilty of our accomplishments, because we work hard to get there. Instead of saying that, you should be congratulating our people. Thats why we cant get anywhere....egos
nalo 101 Yo Mama... Imma tell you why you have your cushy job ma... Because black women pose no threat to the establishment (white supremacy)... In fact most black women unknowingly contribute to the establishment... And no I'm not a dusty nigga... I own my own computer networking business along with that I also on 10 properties... Some of them section 8 properties... Open your eyes and look around you
Black women being single isn't always about whether or not a man has a degree. You have men that own businesses without a degree, works for the Fire Dept (no degree), its more about what does he bring to the table in its entirety. (Respect, Honesty, legal job, etc. )
Kwintessential2 Money
Sorry but money does figure into there. Love will put you in the clouds for awhile but it won’t pay the mortgage 🤷🏾♀️
@@pauloskidane2819 legal JOB is Money
And money
@@saintmichaelgrayson9641 so are illegal jobs but minimum wage is not a standard anyone should live off of, least of all children.
Stop lumping all degrees together. I know ppl who have degrees(myself included)....stop. Ppl with BAD or weak degrees usually have a hard time finding jobs. Step number one get a degree worth something. Stop discouraging black men from going to college because you know someone that got a degree in underwater basket weaving and couldn't find a job after college. I can name others with more valuable degrees that did find jobs. End of the day its the type of degree, your plans and experience you create/get in college for that degree and the moves you make after college. Period. Finishing 4 years of college means nothing alone.
All degrees have value. Some people actually major in subjects they love, like art, for example, and do not want to major in STEM subjects. Everyone who wants to work should be able to find gainful employment after graduation. In an enlightened society, all graduates should be able to find stimulating work or entrepreneurship of some sort.
You don’t even need college today. Most just end up with a hefty college loan. Just do trade school. Some women only date men with degrees though, but that’s on them.
@@coldchillin8382 not true. A degree makes money. Saying degrees are worthless is a cop out to not pursue it because you don’t desire it.
I'm a black man in my mid 20s going to grad school and you know the #1 question people ask when they first meet me? 'Do you play any sports?' Black people, white people, everyone asks me this question. I'm blessed to have the motivation and means to be in grad school but the expectation to have been successful in another way (dribbling or catching a ball) is real for black men and while most of us don't get to a league, all of felt pressure coming up to avoid applying ourselves too seriously in school because that wasn't the expectation for black men. It's that lack of drive that's killing our future success as black men. I think of all the times people made fun of me for being in honors classes, playing a musical instrument, reading instead of doing an athletic sport (all of these habits I had are now assets to me) and think of how many of my peers and mentors expected so much less from me that I easily could have put them to the side and went another route that would have me "hustling" in my 40s when I should be in my stride as a professional like most young people of any other ethnic group are being groomed to do.
*What's up TH-camrs!*
_My thoughts on this video..._
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*One guy, was smiling and flirting with a (female) family member of [mind]... Well I know her... And I've seen him...*
*_AND THUS, I PUT HIM IN CHECK! ---GET OUT OF HERE! ---However, she didn't like my demeanor on the dude._*
*I surmise, she took a slight liking to the: not compatible guy. Do to she is not married... So be careful guys....*
*_Although you have the best intentions... She just may like the guy. And do like I've seen: "I'm going to change him; girrrrlll!_*
⌨👨💬
*I see what time it is on my desktop --- Have a good Hump-Day! **_I'm out a here!_* ✌
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Same. Growing up I was always about my education but I’m 6’3” and people (white, black, same as you) always asked if I played B-ball. I would tell them no and they said I was wasting my height. My response was I’m not wasting my brain.
I workout and jog generally but the last thing on my mind is anything sports related when I ask someone of your stature. I usually ask their major or what they do for work. I'm middle eastern and the last thing I care for is sports, in my mind people just want to be healthy and fit and thats what I see it as. I knew a guy for about a year that I did yoga with and never knew he played basketball for the college near me I always thought he was just doing to school there because its a great business school.
What these women fail to realize is that men don't equate desirability in a women with her education/income/success. Men are visual and first and foremost will look at physical attraction and then her personality. A successful man will marry a waitress making $8/hr if she looks good enough and has a decent personality. If you want a better quality man then eat proper, attend the gym regularly, and work on making your personality more agreeable.
Education and financial success is mostly what attracts women to men. An ugly or somewhat less attractive male can pull good looking women if he's financially secure as women are looking for men who can provide and take care of her and their future family.
A man isn't looking at your degrees, houses, or cars and thinking to himself how attractive you are because of those things. If you have them then cool, but most men don't care. The other problem is that women who have worked and acquired these things become used to being 'alpha' or 'the man' and that makes them very undesirable to most men. A man who looks for a women to provide financial stability isn't much of a man in my opinion.
Bruh, they just don't seem to get that. They think that they can step to the plate being fat, with 3-4 kids in tow, and have a nasty attitude... and black men are just supposed to want them because they have a degree and a "good job."
+Kory Green Haha lool. Hit the nail on the head.
How about we all just look for the total package. Attraction is understandably neccesary of course. But also a fit mind body and soul is what keeps that house hold running. We should all look for that as well as work on ourselves, get ourselves to that level where a broader wrange of possibilities are no longer limited.
You couldn't be more right. Women tend to be the ones that search for partners who are financially stable and highly educated more so than men. If a woman is pleasing to the eye and has a great personality, I guarantee you every guy on the street will be knocking down doors for her rather than the woman who has a PHD and an unattractive personality.
Selena Robinson Or how about we stop trying to impose our values onto others? No person can tell you what you should find attractive if you know yourself and what you need in order to easily relate to another individual.
I think a big reason a lot of successful black women are single, is they do want to marry someone on their level, and black men who tend to be on their level, marry outside the race. Some successful black men take success to mean not marrying a black woman, whereas a black woman who becomes successful, still has loyalty to a black man. Black women see success by being in a relationship with an equal. some black men see success in who they have a relationship with. Which means it will be hard for successful black women to find an equal cause black successful men dont see her as part of their success.
Look at any black male celebrity. And you can see from who they were dating before their success and who they are with after there success....cant say the same for blck female celebs.
Yall know what im trying to say, lol
+nalo 101 i think we all have perspectives from our own personal viewfinders. None of the black men in my family, in my neighborhood, in my graduate school class or in my social network, married anyone but black women. they are proud of that and so am i. You see, success as the western world would have it is an illusion that is sold to america in order to keep america under control. There was a point in black history that we had a different definition of success that didn't involve assimilation to white ideology however it was very short lived. Black people lost their way in their lust for assimilation.
***** wow, black women are the only race of women asked to "date down". I have done that and it gets old quick. Yes I have a degree yes I work hard, but I want to be pampered also. I want to be treated like a woman also.
Black women work hard because we have to. Black men who are educated and successfully, run to the first white woman they see. So I really wish people would stop policing black women's relationships because it is extremely more complicated than....just dumbimg ourselves down for fragile egos.
***** - Damn...and I thought tommy sotomayor said some dumb shit. If a man wants to be financially stable and secure then he is smart to choose a woman who is on the same level. The fact that she has her own doesn't diminish the desire for a real man that protects and cherishes a woman. Lets not confuse male insecurities with the opportunity to love and protect. I didn't say LEAD and protect...only sheep and cattle and the blind need to be led. Dating down is for those who are insecure and religious.
***** Traditional patriarchy is the problem as it does not promote balance and equilibrium. Patriarchy is the reason why war is constantly being waged, why the planet is being destroyed, etc, etc... Your perception of "gender" roles originates in the failed programming of patriarchy. If women can do what a men do, but a man can't give birth then who is the superior being? Its 2015 and its time to abandon the denial that a positive male female relationship is about possession, leadership,submission. that shit is old as the damn flintstones and needs to be retired. Partnering, marriage whatever you want to call it, is a choice, not a requirement, a tax shelter or quota. To dumb yourself down by dating down means you lack the ability to attract a person that you can enjoy a positive relationship with.
***** please don't use millionaires in comparison. We are not talkin about millionaires. We are talkin about everyday people. Yes rich black men like to buy their success including women. Sad.
Now as I said before black women are successful and independent because we have to be, why do choose to ignore that fact. I wish I could just be a house wife, that would take alot if the stress I go thru daily away, but yet again I meet a grown man who still doesn't have his own place no car, and no license. How much of the type of bull do u really expect me to put up with, especially from people who have the potential to do better.
There was an article, yes they are writing articles about this. About black women who date or marry down, and in this article they stated dating down costs black women $25,000 a year. Not because of the children we hve to provide for, but for the men.
You start to loose respect for men after awhile and that is what is happening to black women, we are being forced into the workplace and are resenting black men because of it. I sometimes resent black men for not being man enough to get over whatever obstacles u need to get over.
Please stop using femism as an excuse for everything that's wrong between black men and women, that is a cop out and lets yall of easy.
I wish I could just rest.
If you base your ideals on relationships on what society says, you will lose. I deal with a 26 year old and I am 30. He lives at home, but at the same time he is getting ready to graduate with his bachelors in Psychology. He will then pursue his career on the masters level. I'm able to look past him living at home because 1.) I live alone, so there will never be an issue of our privacy, but most importantly 2.) I recognize his drive and passion for progression. That overrides everything because he isn't complacent, and that think thats what women need to look at. Not the NOW but the actual FUTURE, and what can we both do to make ourselves successful individuals.
Hey...to each its own. Goodnight
+Bethsaida Romelus that's exactly what I got from his comment, that I'm looking for a "come up". The dude is a troll. Contrary to what he think he knows about me, I'm not a moocher nor a washed up 30 year old.
+Bethsaida Romelus and I'm not waiting on him to be successful, it just so happened that I ended up talking to a younger guy. But trust me I wasn't looking for it to happen lol
+Richie Rich sounds to me like you watch too much Tommy Sotomayer, if you feel like I'm a washed out 30 year old, who is out of their prime. But hey you're young, hence the lack of logic.
+Simone Williams hey, your right it nice to know there are women like you, dont mind that self hating fool. keep doing your thing. Support from the uk.
Listening to some of the comments leads me to believe that some men are clueless to why some successful women may think twice about dating a man who has not reached certain goals in life.
Shonda P we
Shonda P wr
Donald Davis lol you seem mad😂
I think many men are happy with what many women would consider less or "not enough". I don't mind a woman who makes more than me unless she starts "encouraging" me to "be more" or "climb the ladder".
@@Kevin-qn2kw truth. Some women want a man who’s always chasing for more. More money, more material goods, more status. I’m a simple man; a house, a car, enjoy life.
Lol I love being single. I love not having to deal with other people's problems
You'll stay like that too
@Jnitty imbeciles like you think everyone is so relationship hungry their are a lot of single ppl by choice I was single for 5yrs by choice because I wanted to be intentional in whoever I choose to spend my life with ...not everyone is sexcrased shallow minded Buffon like you
Same here single is better than being treated like a stepping ladder
A degree does not equal SUCCESS. God, I wish I was on this panel. These brothers need some factual perspective. Yeah, I know many black women with MULTIPLE degrees... and a MULTITUDE of DEBT. Net worth = Assets - Liabilities. If you're making 50K a year, but you owe 100K, then you're BROKE. Black women floss and front, but many of them are not successful.
***** Black men still have a higher net worth than black women. I'm not trying to pit black men against black women like you are. I'm just simply stating fact and destroying the myth that BW are more successful than BM. Black men have less degrees, but they have higher paying jobs and a lower debt to income ratio. In 2013, it was shown that the average net worth of BM was $5,000 while the average net worth of BW was $5. Now both are significantly lower than the average net worth of WW and WM, which was in the low 6 figures. So we need to be focused on that and catching pace with the rest of America and not on looking down on and fighting each other. Wealth is created and maintained through FAMILY. Married couples have higher net worth than singles, cohabitated partners, and single parenthood households. With 73% of black households headed by single mothers, we'll never catch up until we fix that first. No community in the history of mankind has ever risen to prosperity as separate individuals. Strong nuclear families are the cornerstones.
+Kory Green Actually the black men Floss more than any black woman I know. Black women have means to pay their bills but some are shopaholics. I don't know if its a male thing or a black man thing but too many black men don't even want to have a bank account or atm bank card or credit card which shows a mans maturity in the economic society.
Glenn Thomas Those guys are hustlers and drug dealers. I'm talking about legitimate black men.
mizzymolly Not necessarily. Multiple degreed black women still like to party, go to grocery stores, church services and get their cars fixed. If they're attractive enough, men will hit on them. Most black women, regardless of their education, still travel in the black community and still tend to have stronger cultural connections than socio-economic ones. I see it all the time.
mizzymolly Salary doesn't just depend on education. You also have to consider market demand, industry, experience, and certifications. Those factors affect pay on a larger scale than simply degrees, which are becoming less and less valuable in today's job market. When everyone has a degree, they don't mean much anymore. The market is flooded and the value goes down. A certified mechanic with a few years of experience can earn more than an accounting clerk with an associate's or B.S. degree. Truck drivers can earn upwards of six figures, too. Black men earn more than black women because many of them have higher paying blue collar jobs. They also have greater wealth because the have less debt than black women, who graduate with a ton of student loan and CC debt.
i don't wanna be that one but.....i think it's weird that they complain about how limited women to what men they want but I know a lot of black men who say they're not even into black women.........just sayin....
What's a lot? I don't, personally, know of any though I do know that they're out there (Mostly because of TV). I'm sure some Black women feel the same.
***** are these men or boys under 29
And those same black men who are not into black women were raised by a strong black mother/sister/aunt/grandmother whilst scraping floors and dishes of a white woman. Anyway though!
***** sorry the caveman days ended years ago. Maybe if you travelled to Africa - you will find the olden day black woman (like your mother) you speak of
Nubian Love thats the minority not the majority. I know 1 black woman out of about 5 who is the person you described (thats why im dating her) If it were the majority we wouldnt need to have these topics. Leading in gender and race... how is this pertaining to the topic again?
I absolutely love hearing Black men share their life experiences. For so long they've been silenced or they felt silenced. This is a breath of fresh air and no clap back is necessary.....more of this please! This is mental health counseling for Black men and the epitome of true brotherhood. Black men being authentic, vulnerable and honest.. Keep it coming! TV show or and series on Aspire tv or and tv one needed!
Lies. I constantly think of finances, status, and life. I'm 25. We want stability. We're thinking of children and the future. The energy and time we put into our future, we want it to sustain. We don't want to bruise your ego but we need to feel that you have the ability to lead and provide. So an "artist" doesn't seem too dependable(just like being a rapper..let it go). Relationships are an investments and who doesn't want a return on their investment?
Amen. . .These black men need to stop sitting on excuses and grow up and get to work. In any attempt to even pursue Love. These men need to be stable and have prepared themselves financially, spiritually and morally for marriage and be competently equipped to run a house hold.
Am a black man and dam you made a lot of sense. A return on your investment. That was law right there. And she did it all without blame and being black.
Queen Culture Inc. what return does a man receive for taking care of a woman?? I’m just trying to figure that out??? I see the benefit for a woman, but not the man. This is why you don’t date bum chicks or woman with high standards and no hustle. It’s not my job to fulfil your life fantasies, but to take care of myself and family. You want that fairy tale, help your man and grind. Don’t put all the responsibility on him then be mad when your dreams aren’t accomplished.
RH4# I agree
RH4# You just hit the nail on the head. That's the real question. Women want EVERYTHING in return for absolutely NOTHING! The support for black men (I don't mean money.) is gone because black women are completely selfish. It's all about what you can do for them. You never see ANY discussion of a woman describing what she brings to the table other than a damn degree. Nothing showcasing her character as a person. The days of a woman supporting her man emotionally, morally, are GONE! These women today have learned absolutely NOTHING from the parents and grandparents about how to build a family. They can't find a date but their grandmothers was able to stay married for 50+ years. All those worthless ass degrees they use to define how good of a woman they are but that school never taught them how grandma and grandpa made it work for life!
These guys have it backwards. All women (including black women) need - not merely want - security. They have every right to expect us to provide that for them. Stop making excuses and man up.
Men should be able to provide for women if it is their money/property and not somebody else's. Even if the woman earns more, men should contribute.
The guy that is still living with his family, I think is awesome because when you look into the other races family life, they let their children (key) who is working towards something, stay and if he or she has no problem with it why not. I hate the mindset that a person has to move out when they get 18 mainly the male child. If they have a plan and they are working that plan and their family doesn't mind why not. We as black people need to catch up and let the non-deadbeat kids stay to save that money and move out with dollars already in the bank and good credit. I know my friends say their family has a savings pool where you put a certain amount in and when you are in rut and lose a job or hospitalized you bills get paid, and credit is still good.
Amen sis
When I graduated high school, my auntie told me to either move out or pay rent. For many of us, we don’t have the option to stay home. My sister, on the other hand, was allowed to live there.
generally families who don't even like being in the same room have these problems.
If you live at home its acceptable if you are working towards a real goal. But if you lounging at the crib with no goals. We are giving you a thumbs down!!!
*What's up TH-camrs!*
_My thoughts on this video..._
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_´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´_*Depending on {Ionna}... if she'll [settle] for...? Or most like not at all! *_
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but she's: HEART-BOUNDING ATTRACTIVE...
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CLASSY...
´´´´´´´´▓▓▒▒▒║▒▒▒▓▓´´´´´VOLUPTUOUS, somewhat...
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Kinda SEXY...
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but can be slight a tom-boy
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And some knowledge...not a omniscient but she's a good: $level 5-figures
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Into Fitness...
´´´´▓(░░░░░░░░░)░░░)´´´And what will [Outlast] all of that above... *Christian...*
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´´´´(░░░\´´´|░░░░░|´´´´´--------------█-But if your not on her lever...? Sorry Cuz...
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-------------█-But lets say (for fun) your halfway there...? Sorry Mayn!
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-------------█-Or less say your money is funny-broke...? Get to steppin'!
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-------------------█-How's about: 90% there...?! However, your not ready for: *Christianity*... Its not going to work.
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-------------------█-And thus, she will remain single... And rightly so, in one major List: *_Christianity_*
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*One guy, was smiling and flirting with a (female) family member of [mind]... Well I know her... And I've seen him...*
*_AND THUS, I PUT HIM IN CHECK! ---GET OUT OF HERE! ---However, she didn't like my demeanor on the dude._*
*I surmise, she took a slight liking to the: not compatible guy. Do to she is not married... So be careful guys....*
*_Although you have the best intentions... She just may like the guy. And do like I've seen: "I'm going to change him; girrrrlll!_*
⌨👨💬
*I see what time it is on my desktop --- Have a good Hump-Day! **_I'm out a here!_* ✌
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Wow...I'm a black female with two degrees and i usually love the perspective these men give but I wish this channel/these men would address a couple things...
1. A perspective on women's, *especially Black women's*, lives and PERSONAL CHOICES should involve Black women. Period.
2. I'm one of MANY women I know who respect and love black men and appreciate a dude's potential more than the commas in his bank account - has anyone ever considered that black women actually care about character? Culture?
3. INTERSECTIONALITY IS REAL. Intersectional experiences (being a minority in more than one demographic category) mean that black women not only bear the brunt of racism, sexism and colorism against themselves but the black community continues to support the idea that women should always support our men first. That whole "she had less to worry about" line is bull.
Come on y'all...tighten up...there's birds out there who chase paper and fame alone. Same could be said of men. Don't think of movie stereotypes as you share info on yt
@Donald Davis I'm trying to understand your comment. What are you saying? Does it have anything to do with my initial comment?
You talk to much
@@ralphedwards7321 wow the most disrespected woman is the black woman smh
I love how the underlining message is that it is "the black woman's fault" that she is single. It's her fault that she went to school longer, it's her fault that she wants a man who is educated. It is her fault that you don't make as much money as her.
***** I'm going to tell you this. Women all over the world are looking for a man who is successful. It's not just a western thing. I get that this can be an issue for some men, but it's just the way of the world. No women is going to be with a man who can't support his potential family. And depending on her background is how extreme that women is willing to wait.
+Edson murray now what are the statistics on black men?
+Edson murray but the black woman comes from the black man. So as fathers.....you are saying that black men have failed.
+Edson murray the reason why black women are saying that " Your mother is black" is becouse you are attacking black women. Aside from that, I being a black woman myself am telling you that when you insult the black women you are insulting the black man.
Edson murray I was in the comment section disagreeing with them.
"degrees dont mean more money" "more money doesnt make you more dateable" "a man does not have to make more money than you to live a comfortable or even above comfortable life. that is all mental and apart of your expectations of what you looking for. "
michael perry I was just about the write something about this....infact degrees dont even guarantee you a job!!
On1
exactly, i see all this hate for people trying to work thier high paying jobs from their partners. look at them and they have bad credit, cant keep study employment and overspend almost constantly. the route of all evil is not money its greed. too many men and women are on a big power trip right now. i say that but at the same time i think they need it more than we need to be right at the moment. we are so successful cause we are naturally aggressive. they are not as aggressive so it this helps them complete these big goals then kudos to them.
michael perry you right bro and I don't even know what this guys are talking about .money is not happiness and relationship must not basic on degrees
mwila nicky
its meant to only help you grow smarter. more brains now that is an attribute i can see wome n looking for. the truth is that some of the smartest people dont go to college. most of the millionaires and billionaires dont have even a bachelors much less a masters degree. the power to think for yourself comes from self exploration
michael perry I totally agree. I only went into higher education because I had so many answered questions. After having many of them answered, and creating a few new questions along the way, I discovered that I am not interested in accumulating things; houses, cars, fine clothes, etc. . I won't pay full price if I don't have to, I can wait for a sale. If we can't pay cash, we can't afford it. No credit, or loans. We are quite content living in our country house, twenty minutes outside of the city, where my husband and I grow most of our food and he runs a small shop. We are not rich, my husband and I lead a simple life....we save when can, we have enough for our needs. I am quite happy.
I think a lot of successful black women are still single because the black men in their circles don’t date or pursue them. (At least that’s been my experience) I’m a medical doctor in my late 20s and almost all my male black colleagues who are around my age are married to or dating non-black women. Now, that could be due to a variety of reasons, and I do understand that we can’t help who we fall in love with. I think black men need to be confident and intentional in pursuing black women. One of my black friends once told me that while women are a lot “easier to pursue.” Whatever that means. The moral of the story is, the higher up they go in status, the whiter their taste becomes.
Not sure why this was recommended to me but 1) I am single because I want to be. 2) I want to actually enjoy my life rather than having children early 3) I have three advance degrees, make five figures, but am more interested in building an actual career for myself, 4) There is an overwhelming amount of disrespectful and very insecure men out there--it's just not worth it to get caught up.
When encountering disrespectful men or women, just walk away... don't even waste your time or energy. They don't respect you, they don't respect themselves. No need to try re-raising boys or girls in mens and womens bodies.
This is a very small but telling mistake women make alot. A person being disrespectful is most times obvious. Tangible. Deciding someone else who hasn't said so is insecure is overstepping boundaries in alot of says. Some would even call it projection.
5 figures!? Holy shit what do you do with all that money??
I feel what yall are saying and I've dated "down" because we got along well and he treated me well...we didn't have problems until he got drunk one night. we were hanging with his friends and they were like "how did he get you?" I thought it was rude but I was like we vibe well...later that night at home he tells me " I just want someone who is ok just being a girlfriend/wife...you got alot of goals and its too much..." ...I broke with him the next day after trying to discuss it while he was sober...years later he is still working as a cashier at Ross...I say this to say it hurt to hear that although I know "success" wise we weren't on the same level but I had to date someone who couldn't bring to the table would I could and he still tried to use it against me.
This comment was a while ago but I hope you are thriving.
His friends knew... they knew him better than you did. This is why people in general need to stop dating down. Read your bible! Why do you think the wealthiest people remain wealthy? They don't mingle with people who aren't equally yoked.
I'm not sorry for dating in my tax bracket. I refuse to compromise my dating list.
*What's up TH-camrs!*
_My thoughts on this video..._
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_´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´_*Depending on {Ionna}... if she'll [settle] for...? Or most like not at all! *_
´´´´´````´´/▓▓▓▓▓▓▓´´´´´´
´´´´´´´´´/▓▓▒▒▒▒\▓▓´´´´´
but she's: HEART-BOUNDING ATTRACTIVE...
´´´´´´´´/▓▒██▒██▒▓▓´´´´´
CLASSY...
´´´´´´´´▓▓▒▒▒║▒▒▒▓▓´´´´´VOLUPTUOUS, somewhat...
´´´´´´´´▓▓(▒▒▒▒▒)▓▓´´´´´
Kinda SEXY...
´´´´´▓▓▲´\▒▒▒▒/´▓▲▓´/´´´
´´´´´´▓▓▓▓\▒▒▒/▓▓▓|´´´´´´FEMININE...
but can be slight a tom-boy
´´´´´▓▓(░░▒▒▒▒▒░░░)´´´´
And some knowledge...not a omniscient but she's a good: $level 5-figures
´´´´´▓(░░░░░░░\░░░░)´´´
Into Fitness...
´´´´▓(░░░░░░░░░)░░░)´´´And what will [Outlast] all of that above... *Christian...*
´´´▓(░░░|▓░░░░░░░}´´´´
´´´´(░░░|´´´{░░░░░░}´´´´
´´´´(░░░\´´´|░░░░░|´´´´´--------------█-But if your not on her lever...? Sorry Cuz...
´´´´´\░░░░░░░░░⌚░)´
-------------█-But lets say (for fun) your halfway there...? Sorry Mayn!
´´´´´´´´/███████/´(░}´´´
-------------█-Or less say your money is funny-broke...? Get to steppin'!
´´´´((████████|´´´´´
------------------█-Lets say you have all but two: your quasi-Ebonics and "BIG"...? Well... No!
´´´((████████|´´´´´´
-------------------█-How's about: 90% there...?! However, your not ready for: *Christianity*... Its not going to work.
´((█████████}´´´´´´
------------------█-
´(█████████|´´´´´´´
-------------------█-And thus, she will remain single... And rightly so, in one major List: *_Christianity_*
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´´´´´\▓▓▓/ \\▓▓▓|´´´´´
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👨💬
*One guy, was smiling and flirting with a (female) family member of [mind]... Well I know her... And I've seen him...*
*_AND THUS, I PUT HIM IN CHECK! ---GET OUT OF HERE! ---However, she didn't like my demeanor on the dude._*
*I surmise, she took a slight liking to the: not compatible guy. Do to she is not married... So be careful guys....*
*_Although you have the best intentions... She just may like the guy. And do like I've seen: "I'm going to change him; girrrrlll!_*
⌨👨💬
*I see what time it is on my desktop --- Have a good Hump-Day! **_I'm out a here!_* ✌
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America it’s simple:
1. Stop bragging! No one likes a show off! Black women have this incessant need to tell everyone about what they’ve attained. Losing that would be a start.
2. Exercise. No matter how many excuses you come up with, men ARE visually stimulated. Please take care of your body. Invest the same energy in your daily fitness as you do bad mouthing black men when they go after fit women from other cultures.
3. Perma-scowl (aka: mean mugging). What’s up with that constant look on your face? Like someone stole your lunch money.
4. Toupees are no bueno! Hard to get excited when your head is full of plastic. The only winners here are the Koreans.
5. Attitudes. No need to elaborate.
6. Femininity. All men want feminine women. Please eliminate the testosterone contests!
I would also say “lose the weave/wig”
All facts
Men shouldn't be ashamed if they need to live at their parents home...Jesus didn't leave his parents house until HE was 30 years old and after HE resurrected HE ascended into heaven and went to HIS FATHER'S House...and JESUS is the Perfect Man. Men should take their time before launching out of the home to start a family....Proverbs says Make sure your work in the field(ie Career, Education, Credit, Financial Status, Spiritual, Physical and Mental) is on point and then come back and build a home (ie Start a family)... I think too much emphasis is placed on things that don't matter in the larger scheme of things....Bill Gates has been the richest man on the planet and he dropped out of college, so did Steve Jobs, and so many other super successful men. Checklists are very short sighted. It's the 4 C's Fellas....Christ....Character....Chemistry....Capability.
James Breedlove we
its makes dating really difficult if you dont have your own spot though
True. The problem is some BW and BM are not looking for the 4 Cs in the other or being those Cs especially Christ and Character
If I was a Christian I'd tell people this everyday. Hell I'm still gonna use this.
Most single women that I know are too picky and career focused. Then as they age they get desperate and settle for the leftovers. It is sad
***** What is settle ...we BM settle all the time....all men meet women on the bus or with kids or fat women or low paying job.women ...even WM settle....DO A SHOW ON HOW NO OTHER WOMAN OTHER THAN BW ARE OBSESSED WITH THIS SETTLE WORD...yet these same women are not on point (somehow they have a vivica fox mentality) a thug isnt settling somehow...ask vivca two useless tall thugs used her up and left her ...now she screams I want to be love BW are to confusing to themselves
BLACK AFRICAN AMERICAN SOLUTIONS FOR MEN i see what you're saying in part, but I have tons of non black-female friends who are overly obsessed with the "settle" word. Just saying... it's not only Black Women. :-)
prettypoodle5
I would like to pay these women for a skype interview ask these none BW if they are interested
BLACK AFRICAN AMERICAN SOLUTIONS FOR MEN I surely will!
nathaniel westbrooks don't be like them be classier than that
I don't mind dating a guy who has less money ( Im humbled) than me its just everytime I do they get jealous
Hey check out Dr. Amos Wilson's Black Male Female Relationships on you tube. He talks about a lot of this.
+experience271 I don't throw it in their face. I'm a humble person.
This is her quote from another post she replied to
"It amazes me how very average guys, with no status wants dime. Why would dime want a second rate guy?"
Sounds humble to me hahahahaa
+blackezi3 Lol I didn't say that
I'm calling bullshit! No, YOU think they are jealous.
How many of those men on the panel have children out of wedlock? Water seeks it's own level. When successful black women stop waiting around for just black men and open up their dating and marriage options....they won't be single for long.
Exactly!! I'm not waiting around anymore..I'm ready to date out.
@ELOHIM BEATS oh...having a baby without the parents being married. That is not Just a white man's terminology. It is a good foundation for sucessful families. Períod.
morenitaherrera nah,actually it isn't
Kamala Harris is a perfect example of that and can not risk her chances for the President with a black man for a husband name "Bud"!!!!!
Condeleeza Rice has yet to be married.
The reason why so many successful black women are single is because it's their privilege to be single. They are single because they choose to be that way. Common sense should tell anybody that. BTW, success is not measured by material possessions and how much money we make; it is measured by the contributions we have made to society; professional service and relationship we have with the human race. The word "successful" that is implied to black women who have a lucrative career and college degree is too far-fetched.
I disagree when he stated his reason why black women have more degrees than the men. Why can't the man work and go to school. Women do it all the time. We work, go to school, take care of a man and raise children all at the same time.
Mybeautytales Bill Gates doesn't have a degree and his wife I believe has multiple undergrad degrees and a MBA. Is he on her level?
True success in the black community lies in owning and controlling their own businesses. It's great to get your degrees, but the drawback is many multiple years of indebtedness to student loan. Which for the most part is designed to keep you enslaved in debt up up into your retirement. Getting a degree to work for corporate America is nice, but the novelty soon wears off when you face the indifferent, underlying racism that you experience there. I know so many people with masters degrees and it's looks great on paper however, facing that monthly student loan bill kinda makes you wonder if it was worth it.
Now, me as a self-sufficient black man, with stability and a good education. I'm physically healthy, smart and has a lot to offer a black women. However when I meet these 'successful' black women, I find narcissism run amuck. What has happened is that the average 'successful' black woman doesn't have the need for a black man other than sexual gratification. Many black women are not looking for a husband as a result.
Because a black woman's love is based on need and the financial support that traditionally a man's provided. Today's black woman has her own. A black love is based on wanted a woman to care for and protect and love. Many of today's black woman seem to seek a man for status and/or to increase her bottom line....money. Once that novelty wears off, so does the marriage. How many times have we heard a black woman say, "I don't need a man." Whereas a black man may say, "I don't want a her." It's the difference of wants and needs that separates us. Successful black women provide their own 'needs,' and the good black man gets all his 'wants' with the copious amounts of single black women he has to choose from.
There was a time when it was a social requirement for a woman to have a child. She must first have a husband, but modern society tells the American black woman in particular, she doesn't need a man, nor does she need a father for her children...Why, you'd ask? Because she's been told that she can literally be mommy and daddy. This curse that was brought upon our black family, has been devastating to our community and our children as the myriad of problems that has followed.
Overall, marriage vows mean virtually nothing, when divorce is a socially acceptable and almost considered normal and desirable. However there seems to be a healthy change in our community, for I personally see many more black men now getting access to their children and black women understanding that they can be the greatest mother on earth, but cannot be a father and our children will benefit from this revelation.
+inquizative44 You nailed it sir. Amen!
Excuse excuse excuse you are weak period
rapkilla damarko NO! reason, reason, reason. It's not an excuse, but a reason. What's wrong with your English Tell me, are you a feminist or a mangina raise by your single mommy. You have to be either one or the other.
+inquizative44 Spot on!!!
Facts bro! Salute
This ''conversation'' was truly trash.
Women do not go on to pursue higher education because they are OK with being broke or living with their mother at 30. I'm shocked and angered that these men didn't even begin to touch base with the fact that a lot of black boys/men are discouraged from pursuing higher education because they don't have positive black male role models who have done it before them. Not to mention that a lot of black men wind up on the wrong path after high school if they even graduate. There are forces working against black men. And it would be great if these men actually touched on that to encourage other black men to take that step to have access to a dating pool of women who are working on their future career paths.
Also, do you know how many black men pick on or tease other black men for being smart or ''nerdy''?
BTW: I have never heard of a rich black man being told that he needs to ''diversify'' his options in order to find a lover.
Stop telling women that they need to change their qualifications in order to find love! Tell more men to step up their game to meet her where she is at in her life.
Dude in back dressed in brown always chilling lmao!! Barely talks just pure facial expressions
Stop blaming your failures on black women
+ubiquity ....you speak TRUTH!!!
Look y'all we all are fucked up some how. The difference is that men can say I fucked up. And women will blame a fly in court if the judge would believe her. Its just gender not race. I dated all types of women and not one of any race could ever admit when they were wrong. Every thing those women did was of something I did or somebody else. Never have a woman said to me "am sorry, I was wrong". So Men reflect and women deflect. All facts. We need to stop with this black shit. And why is white y'all standard of living life any way. Bentely and rolls Royce are beautiful cars serving different purposes. Yet still beautiful and both one of a kind. Just be happy with you first.
mgtow fam
What is he talking about? I know more Black men living with their mother, grandmother, aunt, etc. than Black women. I see very few with their own place. After they leave that family member they move in with a woman.
When they break up, back to momma's house.
And that’s facts
I thoroughly enjoy these segments and look forward to them every Monday. If a person (male or female) looks to anyone other than God to affirm their relationship with their significant other, that person is not ready for a Committed relationship.
***** +MadameNoire that's a weighted question. Values differ based on the person. What I value in a relationship and in life others may not. But I know you want a REAL answer so my REAL opinionated answer is yes, yes, and HELL YES. But I believe it takes maturity and life experience for many to realize their values need to be fine tuned. I believe as a culture we value the wrong thing and someone else touched on that a little. When we (Black people) adopt the culture of others to better ourselves and our family, we are called sell outs and other names. But this goes back to slavery and we are not trying to reach that far back right now.
Andrea Powell upbringing or lack dictates that
BLACK AFRICAN AMERICAN SOLUTIONS FOR MEN must definitely. If you have the foundation and structure I still believe life experiences help to fine tune. Without the foundation and structure it's MUCH MORE DIFFICULT for the individual but still VERY POSSIBLE
Andrea Powell
this is why other cultures look at the family background first and our culture looks at bustin a nut...or girls look at who makes them horny regardless of his background
BLACK AFRICAN AMERICAN SOLUTIONS FOR MEN I was embarrassed as a teenager but when I wanted to date a guy they had to meet my dad and his first question was, "who are your parents, what do they do..." I get it now.
I feel like this question should have been asked to Single Successful Black Women bcuz these men are going off of things they've seen in the movies.
Why isn't there a 'Ask a Black Woman'?
+LAtttiful That would be cool. They could even do episodes together. It would give the topics more layers and avoid a conversation that is one sided.
+Ashley True because women don't compromise
Women don't know what they want. One second they want this then the next second they want that.
Men don't compromise. You're very egotistical and argue just to argue. You don't give and take.You're always right.
+I Isaiah all black women are.not the same"
Respect. Communication, understanding is the key to the any relationship. Building a foundation first before being intimate should be ultimate. Self love is also every thing before and during. All I’ve heard is complaints you can easily go to college and do what you need to do to get where you want to go. I work two jobs and 6 days a week.... priorities is important if you working towards a goal why tf are you dating? That’s for both sides. If you homeless why are you dating? If you literally don’t have a pot to piss in why are you dating? When I was homeless that was the least thing that comes across my mind and still is
Many successful women "date down" but the males egos still can't handle it
CocoBabe we
The fact is black women are the most highly educated group by race&gender (in America) whereas black men due to various reasons are slipping behind. The majority of black women are against the idea of interracial relationships and are devotedly loyal to black men but understandably won't lower their standards (e.g to dating men who don't earn as much because no women of any race on the whole do that, coupled with fact that many black women are Christians and the bible states "the man should be the provider") that leaves them with a very small selection of accomplished black men which many of whom prefer to date white/ Latina women (you only have to look at sportsmen... Basketball players who went schools such Stanford to see this epidemic. The question is how long will black women continue attempting to grip hold of the elusive black man?
Edson murray thats a hateful bitter paragraph there.
Edson murray who hurt you lol
+Edson murray lmao who hurt you
preach
+Edson murray how about you tell yo black momma that you self hating little bitch.
Well many of us successful women are single by choice.
I'm not sure about that.
She just said that. What's not to be sure about?
It seems like everytime i click on a black men panel i hear so much double standard nonsense smh. They protect their egos so desperately
There seems to be so much strife between the BW and the BM. We definitely need to change this and not just for dating purposes, but mainly for unification purposes. Both sides are entitled to their opinions, but we definitely need to continue conversations so we can hash out these issues. I appreciate both perspectives, but I would like to see more co-ed conversations taking place because we are a broken community and we need to stop making excuses for remaining broken.
My girl of over a year recently broke up with me cause deep down she couldn't accept that I wasn't on her level educationally/financially...told me we didn't have the same values... I kept it real from the start and she knew I was working on getting my degree and a better job. I agree with all the points these men are saying.
Just because a woman is professionally "successful" does not mean she is attractive or desirable. There is no relationship between your degree and professional success does not make u cute or nice
And where's the black women to respond? Kinda not fair. Let the healing begin and solve the issues.
Astounding how 3 out of 3 of your comments were lies.
I’ve seen plenty of videos on this channel where there were no men to respond as well
So many generalizations.... so few solutions.
As men we shouldn't be intimidated by a woman that earns more or is more educated. She's on your team, bring what you can and stop competing. If she's mature, she'll give you respect and communicate clearly. So should you.
You clearly don't know women and hypergamy...i feel bad for you champ.
Look, women are not only looking for degree's & Men that makes 75k. We are looking for a man to be just that, A MAN!. This discussion is about excuses. PERIOD
They listen to they single friends too much lol
*What's up TH-camrs!*
_My thoughts on this video..._
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´´´´´´´´´´´´´/▓▓▓▓▓
_´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´_*Depending on {Ionna}... if she'll [settle] for...? Or most like not at all! *_
´´´´´````´´/▓▓▓▓▓▓▓´´´´´´
´´´´´´´´´/▓▓▒▒▒▒\▓▓´´´´´
but she's: HEART-BOUNDING ATTRACTIVE...
´´´´´´´´/▓▒██▒██▒▓▓´´´´´
CLASSY...
´´´´´´´´▓▓▒▒▒║▒▒▒▓▓´´´´´VOLUPTUOUS, somewhat...
´´´´´´´´▓▓(▒▒▒▒▒)▓▓´´´´´
Kinda SEXY...
´´´´´▓▓▲´\▒▒▒▒/´▓▲▓´/´´´
´´´´´´▓▓▓▓\▒▒▒/▓▓▓|´´´´´´FEMININE...
but can be slight a tom-boy
´´´´´▓▓(░░▒▒▒▒▒░░░)´´´´
And some knowledge...not a omniscient but she's a good: $level 5-figures
´´´´´▓(░░░░░░░\░░░░)´´´
Into Fitness...
´´´´▓(░░░░░░░░░)░░░)´´´And what will [Outlast] all of that above... *Christian...*
´´´▓(░░░|▓░░░░░░░}´´´´
´´´´(░░░|´´´{░░░░░░}´´´´
´´´´(░░░\´´´|░░░░░|´´´´´--------------█-But if your not on her lever...? Sorry Cuz...
´´´´´\░░░░░░░░░⌚░)´
-------------█-But lets say (for fun) your halfway there...? Sorry Mayn!
´´´´´´´´/███████/´(░}´´´
-------------█-Or less say your money is funny-broke...? Get to steppin'!
´´´´((████████|´´´´´
------------------█-Lets say you have all but two: your quasi-Ebonics and "BIG"...? Well... No!
´´´((████████|´´´´´´
-------------------█-How's about: 90% there...?! However, your not ready for: *Christianity*... Its not going to work.
´((█████████}´´´´´´
------------------█-
´(█████████|´´´´´´´
-------------------█-And thus, she will remain single... And rightly so, in one major List: *_Christianity_*
´((████████|´´´´´´´
´´´´(███████|´´´´´´´
´´´´´\███████|´´´´´´´
´´´´´´´´███████|´´´´´´´
´´´´´´´´███████|´´´´´´´´
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´´´´||█████████/´´´´´´´
´´´´´\▓▓▓/ \\▓▓▓|´´´´´
´´´´´´\▓▓▓| ´\\▓▓▓|´´´´´
´´´´´´|▓▓▓|´ ´\▓▓▓\´´´´
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´´´´´´´´█´´\██\ ´´´´´█´´\██\´´
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👨💬
*One guy, was smiling and flirting with a (female) family member of [mind]... Well I know her... And I've seen him...*
*_AND THUS, I PUT HIM IN CHECK! ---GET OUT OF HERE! ---However, she didn't like my demeanor on the dude._*
*I surmise, she took a slight liking to the: not compatible guy. Do to she is not married... So be careful guys....*
*_Although you have the best intentions... She just may like the guy. And do like I've seen: "I'm going to change him; girrrrlll!_*
⌨👨💬
*I see what time it is on my desktop --- Have a good Hump-Day! **_I'm out a here!_* ✌
─▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓_
─▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓_
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║─────▼─────║
╠═►───↑───◄═╬╣
║──
Do not worry about others perception of you or your situation. Keep the goal in mind and work towards it. Everything else will fall into place.
you get in life whatever you pursue....if you pursue school, you will get a degree, if you pursue money you will get money, if you purse marriage you will get marriage...but dont pursue school, and then turn around and wonder why you dont have money, or pursue money and wonder know why you are not married yet hehehhehe....just ask yourself where is your focus? and that is what you will get!!
Facts. Kanye said in a rap, “I don’t know what’s better, getting laid or getting paid/ i just know while I’m getting one the other’s getting away/
Personally, I think there's something more alienating about school for males than for females. It doesn't ONLY apply to BLACK men. Women today are acquiring more education then men in general.
Part of the problem is that black men compare themselves to black women instead of comparing themselves to other men in society
At 8:19, dude pronounces the word "paradigm" "paradiggem." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
If you're watching these videos it is because you're probably single like me. We're looking for answer from everywhere. With the amount of evil going on in this world, I don't blame anyone for being cautious.
I tell this to my sisters, so I will tell it those who read this comment. Please be be cautious. While you may have a good heart, there are many who look to take advantage of you. They will take advance of your good heart without remorse.
To the ones who believe in righteousness. Both man and woman. I've been hurt so have my sisters and many others. Don't be discouraged by evil because it will always exists. Be wise and make better choices. This message is to myself also.
Don't fight over a cheater or those who chose to do you wrong. They're not worth it. Consider this and strengthen your hearts. There are many quality man and woman out there. To all the single ones out there; be patient. Don't just take trash and abusers for the sake of having a partner. I went through this for years so I can tell you being alone is better than being abused for many years.
Wait patiently for what God has in store for you. From what I've seen from those who made it, it may not be what you were expecting to find, but you'll be happy.
This goes for both man and woman. Don't be bitter; because he or she might have been hurts. hurt as you are.
In conclusion, don't accept abuse. Its not love. Don't become an abuser. you yourself knows what it feels like.
Love is love. It's hard to find it. It's out there. Examine yourself and see what you deserve and would be a match you.
If you evaluate yourself honestly, you might feel the same as me. I don't even deserve what I'm looking for.
I won't say much more because I've already said to much. This I will say again. If they love you, they will disagree with you at times but they won't abuse you. Do not accept abuse for the sake of being with someone.
If they abuse you, they don't love you.
May the Lord be with you all.
🙏🏾✊🏾
My ppl still haven't gotten it yet. We the blue print for social engineering.
If you are a man who has no aspirations to be on your own for example you lived with your Momma for years until you found some woman to live off of -- then that is a problem. If you are a man who has had your own or is striving to get your own but just fell on hard times that is a different scenario. It depends on the circumstances and everybody's circumstances are unique.
I don’t have an issue with a man that don’t have a degree. The men that try to get with me have a million kids and make $12 an hour or they are educated and have no emotions to love. I need a man that is stable and can love. He can be a plumber with a high school diploma. I hate when men ask me what I do. I want to lie and say I’m a waitress or a go-go dancer.
Tijera Slack understandable
This is a huge improvement from the previous episodes of season 2
Do men really mean it when they say that they would marry a woman if she could/would cook, have those values that our grandparents had? What if she wasn't "fine" but more average or pretty. And when I say "fine" I'm talking about his friends saying to him, "damn, she's fine." Would he still marry her? Inquiring minds want to really know.
I think it is nice to have a women that can cook. Values that are in line with my own is essential. However, what really matters is having someone that I can be happy with (not that makes me happy). As far as looks, I should be overwhelmingly attracted to her, in one way or another. My friends' opinion would not hold much weight. Is this an issue that you see coming up a lot?
Tamara Halsell Did you ever read the book "Backlash"?
it talks about how before women's lib, women were not judged so harshly and once women competed with men in the workforce, the standards of beauty, excellence, etc set for women became unachievable.
+Tamara Halsell most black men aren't fine... bahwhahahahahahahaha
Because men in general are intimidated by smart successful women. Even for my white friends they are single too.
+bamafencer12 Thank you!!! The issue being discussed here isn't just a black female problem. Its a female problem, period. There are a large number of successful single white women.
+Brooklyn Babe Yeeeeeessssssss
no man is intimidated of a successful woman. Successful women arent good wives lol. Every rich person usually marries the women with barely a high school education because nobody told her that catering to her man was beneath them lol.
bamafencer12 yeah because they don't give striving Bm chances
Maximo Asante this was really harshly said. But there may be truth in this. Women with degrees are very differentvfrom women without. I would rather have a wife who's submissive to her husband than a chaotic independent freethinker who destroys the relationship with her constant lack of appreciation and desires due to her 'degree ego'. Give an educated BM an appreciative pretty poor girl and he'll happily marry her.
This is not about a man making money this is not about a woman with degrees this is about being real and accepting a person for who they are no matter how much education they got how much money they got if you can see past all of that s*** people can get along.
Personaly, I don't care if a guy lives with his parents. I don't care if a guy makes less than me either. I just want someone who is fathful and who wants to get married and have a family.
+Dee Jordan yeah....I dont understand why this is even an issue.
+YeahIGotNuthin Good for you. No black woman wants to get with a bum but money and material things does not = a successful marriage or relationship. Most black woman think so.
+YeahIGotNuthin Beyond a certain age living with parents is unacceptable for a man. In your 20s I can understand depending on circumstances but a man beyond 30 living at home clearly has some issues that he needs to work out before trying to find a mate.
+De Jaye to be honest
...i have no plans to live with my parents by the time I turn 26 because I would have finnished school by then....im sure that if a black women is living with her parents above the age of thirty, she would and should have a different outlook on guys if they too still live with their parents, however if that women has her own place, it should be fair for her to want to date a guy who also has his own place.
Funny how most of these black men here are probably not even interested in black women.
I have seen that before and I love it. Always tried to find it again thank you for posting.
Thank you for listening. I appreciate the love.
It's the same goddamn answers over and over again, "black women are too picky" "black women standards are too high" "they're difficult".
Bottom line, the issue is that black men suffer with insecurity issues when dating a successful black woman. Men need to feel wanted and needed as a whole, that's their nature because supposedly they're providers. But when they feel that they cannot meet this requirement, then it becomes a threat. So they blame it on a woman's standards being too high just because they cannot meet these standards, as if damn near the whole world is not getting a education or degree. We're in that age where EVERYBODY is getting a degree! So what's really the issue?
Dee Ja So it sounds like you'd rather deal with a WEAK minded woman, correct? Because men like you take a woman who has her own opinion, who is true to the things that she values, and sticks to her word about something as being "BULL-HEADED-LIKE" or a "KNOW IT ALL". The issue is that you all want women to say "yes" all the fucking time when we have our own voices and opinions. This is not the old days anymore, women are out here working and getting it JUST LIKE MEN do, this don't got shit to do with someone being a know it all, and it does not require for anyone to be "handled" unless you just that damn insecure or weak.
Men want to feel needed just as much as women do, it is in a man's nature (not every man) to feel the need to be the provider for his family. Once he feels that there is no place for him to do that because the woman can do it all, then it becomes a issue. Instead of letting your insecurities control the situation, how about helping her learn that you are there for her, how much you love her, that you're in this together, and that there's no need to do everything on her own anymore even though that is what she's used to. Now if you consider that "handling" a woman, I don't know what else to tell you.
If you're a "alpha male" EXPECT A "ALPHA FEMALE". And if you're not, don't go looking for a alpha female,vice versa.
+Dee Ja Who said anything about a damn extreme alpha woman? I didn't even know that was a term. And why are you comparing two different topics that I discussed separately anyways? You said that you don't like "know it all" women, which I then argued that women have their own opinions and are vocal, which is not something men are used to. Being vocal and having your own opinion does not mean that a woman is "bull headed like". This is one of the many descriptions of a alpha female, if you still want to compare the two.
And wtf does a woman being opinionated, making her own money, etc. have to do with masculinity? This explains my reason for saying that men DO NOT LIKE STRONG MINDED INDEPENDENT WOMEN because the feel that their masculinity is being threatened.
It's okay for y'all to brag about all this bullshit on being successful and having a lot of money, clothes, Jordan's, and cars TO GET THE WOMAN or to ATTRACT THE WOMAN, but a woman can't because she's not staying in her place?
+Dee Ja And if you want a woman who is less vocal and more quiet about her opinions THEN DO THAT, you are free to go and find someone that fits that description, or who is more "feminine" as you basically like to put it. But don't try to make it seem like something is wrong with us because a black woman carry those strong and voiced kind of personality traits.
Black men out earn black women at every level on average. All these "educated" sistas have nothing but loads of student debt, low paying jobs and in many cases, a degree in a worthless field. If that's your market for "successful" then you can keep it.
+KTG Nearly half the damn country has some form of "debt", sir. People are on government assistance, some have child support debt, credit card debt, you name it. The average college student MAN or WOMAN, BLACK or WHITE will have student loan debt. If you have went and graduated from college then you should know that is not what determines "success".
if you have advanced degrees, it generally is regarded as a good background for future financial success. If a woman is dating a guy with little formal education that is scarier for the "future" than dating a guy with a Master's degree who decided to be an artist. Many chefs, artists, musicians, actors have degrees in economics or MBAs or Master's degrees but wanted to pursue something else. it's just nice to have that degree in your back pocket. In theory, at least.
If you are looking to work in corporate America, then your "passport" is advanced degrees. That is what they look for and what makes them recognize you. There is no CEO or Managing Director of a major corporation who does not have advanced degrees. Maybe even multiple advanced degrees.
Also, education is not just about learning. It teaches you how to think and how to think critically. There are people in the world who think the cure for AIDS is to have sex with a virgin... if they had any critical thinking/education, would they believe that?
It is v.true that degrees don't guarantee financial success. It is up to the individual and what kind of person they are. I know 2 men with PhDs in the same field from the same prestigious school. One man is fantastically successful and well to do with wonderful opportunities in many fields, the other thinks he is too good to work and has done absolutely nothing with his life.
anastasia10017 I was with you until, "There is no CEO or Managing Director of a major corporation who does not have advanced degrees. Maybe even multiple advanced degrees." That is grossly inaccurate. However, I do understand where you are coming from.
anastasia10017 EXPERIENCE > DEGREES my sister
anastasia10017 dell ceo never finished highschool
***** and Steve Jobs did not complete college --- but these are rare exceptions.
anastasia10017 bill gates, mark zuckerberg
Most men could careless about the state of degrees she has,,,,,,,rather she has a education or not that's not how we men measure a good woman! On the other hand women measure men that way!!
Easy answer to the title. Because their definition of success is based on the ways that men judge other men. And straight men aren't looking to marry another man...
This is alot more cut and dry than they make it out to be. Alot black women are single because they are looking for men who are as successful as themselves or more successful. It's a little more simple for black men. Alot of us remain single because we want dimes. I know a few brothas who have been with their girlfriends for over a decade. Will not get married because they truly believe that the girl is not worth it. On the other hand, I've dated black women who feel that a blue collar man is not good enough for them. I guess no marriage for me. I'm stuck in limbo because I'm blue collar and I want a dime lol.
It amazes me how very average guys, with no status wants dime. Why would dime want a second rate guy?
most dimes don't got shit no way.
You don't marry for looks and we wonder why people don't stay married, money, looks is not "LOVE"!
That's true. Most the time all bad bitches have is their looks. Nothing else to bring to the table.
Pookienem Pooky your guys conversation illustrates the issue with blacks.
Character is everything yet you concern yourselves with his blue collar status. Dimes are NOT my preference because they put too much value on their looks and not character and home education.
I am African living in the US. I dress down but Im a rich fuck.
People with wealth are concerned about quality of life and character rather than what things you have. This is why blacks look so good in america but have shit characters.
So guess what? White women love my character. They see and appreciate my home education, confidence and speaking skills. They are attracted to that where as sisters are intimidated by that.
The dime sisters look at me from the outside appearance. They cant help it.
Sad really. So im 36 and still looking for a black queen.
I believe we are all entitled to share our opinions and so I believe if you are 25 or older and still living with your parents, something must have went wrong. By 25, you should have a sense of direction, and beginning to settle into your passion. You should be in the position to care for yourself. You have enough time while in college or just age 18-24 in general to get yourself together and make something of yourself. Others will disagree, but come on.. And I do believe the amount of single, level headed black men available to a black woman depends on demographics as well, so I agree with the man in the circle who said black women need to expand. Travel, try something you've never thought to try before..whether it be an activity, a new restaurant, a cultural festival, etc. You never know who you'll meet. As for black and women dating outside of their race, either gender shouldn't use that as an excuse for why they can't find a man or woman because people have the right to do and date as they please. Not every black person prefers or is dating someone outside of their race.. so like I said, expand your horizons and in due time you'll find a compatible black man or woman with potential for whatever it is you're looking for.
***** I'm not down with this cyber bullying thing... so to each it's own. I hope you're much nicer in person.
Ashley Shanell is that why you insulted men who live with their parents?
Ashley Shanell I agree that women definitely need to expand their horizons! We stay stuck in our little bubbles and circles, doing the same old things with the same old people, when if we just tried a new restaurant one weekend, or visited a new city we might find more of what we're looking for. As far as by 25 a guy should be in a position to care for himself, I agree to a certain degree... but I also know firsthand that it largely does depend on circumstances. That 18-24 stage is SO different for so many people that it's a rigid box to put guys in, but I do agree that there is concern, and at least a ton of follow up questions I have to try to understand it when they're not self-sufficient around 28 years old. I dated a guy who was 35 still at home.... which is unacceptable for me because he didn't have a reason - he just "liked it". That's different than a guy living at home when he's 25... pending the circumstances. I do see where you're coming from though.
prettypoodle5 Thank you for seeing my perspective. I did forget to include the few exceptions who have dealt with unforeseen occurrences that put them into the position to live with their parents beyond the ideal age. I don't believe anything to be wrong with them. Nor did I intend to insult them like "nepali hercules" has assumed. My comment was towards those men like the one you mentioned who lives at home at 35 because he likes it. Not because something serious happened in his life that he couldn't control that set him back. That's a totally different story. I've seen a lot of lazy young black men who would rather hang out on the corner like targets for the police than strive for better and do something productive. Because that is what they do where I'm from. I even have old high school friends who still do "run the streets" and I'm 20 now. I'm sure if I grew up in the suburbs in an affluent area, I would have a different perspective as the black men in that location probably would carry themselves much different.
***** If you care to hear my answer, you should read my response to prettypoodle5. Thank you.
these black men have a bag of excuses...smh
Some successful black women are single, cause they wanna focus on their career, an they don't want no man to ruin they life.
I’m sorry I am not dating any man (black, blue, purple, or green) who still live at home. That’s A red flag to me.
Great input from the perspective of these gentlemen. Some women (black or white) are definitely single by choice for various reasons, not all of us are seeking men who make more money or have more degrees. I think someone who shows respect, value life, knows how to treat a woman and can be there on an emotional and intellectual level is important. I meet guys of various ethnicities and his degree and money are worthless if he doesn't have or know basic qualities on how to value life and treat a woman. A successful woman, whether she's black or white can buy her own things, so the money is not always what a woman is looking for. It's interesting to hear your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Interesting. I don't require my mate to make millions of dollars a year, but I want someone who can provide, is faithful and is a good mate to me. Why do ill-informed people try to make me feel like I am asking for too much.
High obesity rates, bad attitude...
I have to say , you are quite correct about the obesity issue . No way will I go into a relationship with someone carrying all that heavy weight . That excessive body weight is paramount in my book . People get this confused as well .If I meet a person and they are in some form of appreciable condition , good then . We will take it from there . They gain weight later , while we are in our same relation ship , then we will work at stabilizing or getting it off of them . We will share in the sacrifice to get that done - together not just her - us ! And I always have the argument with my comrades on that one .But that is how I see it . I hope that part is at least clear enough . But coming into a relationship with a very large obese person is something everyone sees different .
I really liked this video. Not many black men are open to sharing their opinions, well at least where i am from (new york city). many black men i dated didn't want to do nothing with their lives to be better. My ex husband i had to leave alone because he was one of those black men who felt he was "entitled" to be taken care of. I joined the military and presumed a career in IT. Got out and what was my ex husband doing, using his entitlement card. It began to feel like i had a child instead of a lover. So i divorced him. No woman or man wants someone they feel they have to take care of instead of them taking care of each other. I moved to another state thinking it was my environment and got involved with another man who at first was very independent and consistent. That is what drew me closer to him. The fact he could handle his own, was very uplifting and supportive, but once we decided to share a life and build a better future for us the in dependency he once had vanished 100%. I know i can hold my own but my own is just that MY OWN. Its sad, not all but a lot of black men and women in this generation fool the other person into thinking they are about growth and wanting to build a great future together but when its action time one one person is pulling the weight of both parties and it turns from us building a future to me building a future for us and our children. If black men and women both instead of saying they're going to handle their business but just did it in silence a lot of relationship issues and the whole black men/ black woman aren't shit concept would be wiped out. I know i may get some heat for this but i really do not care. this is my opinion. A woman/ man loves a mate that is consistent, supportive, independent and uplifting not someone who is dead weight.
I have a neighbor who married a black woman. He is from Europe. He married her to get his green card, and didn't intend to have children. But she "forgot" to take the pill. She proved to be remarkably difficult; she spanked the children with a belt buckle, accused her ex of attacking her- and he was unable to defend himself, given the Duluth doctrine, where men are not listened to. So he did enough prison time that he can't work in his professional career any more. She kept the divorce going for 8 years, and bankrupted him. Her sons will not talk to her, because she still plays abusive mind games with them. She calls him up, every now and then, to whine because she can't find a boyfriend. He had to cut her out of his cell phone directory. Is this typical of black women? I don't know. I do hear many black men saying they much prefer Hispanic women- because "they always be talkin' up they man, they respect they man". My Caucasian exes were abusive. The variety show Sabado Gigante used to have a section, where Anglo men would talk about having Hispanic girlfriends, or wives, usually in bad Spanish, and you can see from their faces that they are getting all they need, in every department. The Hispanics laugh. Do you remember Captain Hook, nervous about the clock the crocodile has inside, ticking? Yeah. So, a man gets a choice: a woman who is grossly disrespectful, or one who is desperate. Think about that choice.
'I know so many girls with two or three degrees." #AllFacts and yet somehow being intelligent is unattractive?? Talk about an oxymoron.. Like why are men intimidated by successful African-American women?? When shouldn't it be the other way around?? Let's us unite or rise to the same level of profound. No diss 👈
Same reasons why anyone is single.
Raja Khan THANK YOU! I totally agree! lol And to add to that there is no one reason why anyone is single because its all situational and depends upon the life, personality, social influences, and aspects of the INDIVIDUALS life.
+ItsMeMissyBri Wow...logic. how refreshing!
That's not true woman can be and do want to discuss this things in a manner such as this. But are men willing to be this open and honest when it's not on a platform like this though
Unpopular opinion-Black women are getting more degrees but they are unimpressive degrees that aren’t very marketable -psychology, women’s gender studies, communications.
The goal of some women is to be married, not be a wife. They are different.