Wow this was really helpful, it is so valuable to hear a first hand experience of what it's like to engage in social interaction as an autistic person. Again it underscores how important it is for awareness of autism to be increased, because then non-autistic people can adapt to help make communication easier in social situations. I remember you saying that you find the company of socially very gifted non-autistics easier, I wonder if more awareness of autism could lead to there being more such people around.
That was a very good account of the issues regarding small talk (or indeed conversation in general). it's not just about the topic or stock questions - it's about all the accompanying non-verbal communication, how long to talk for, etc. Often the standard advice is "show interest in the other person, ask them questions" but it's more complex than that as people don't always want to interact or answer questions or even engage on topics such as the weather. On the subject of small talk I hate it as it seems so pointless so I'm sure another person in interaction can sense that I don't really want to do it and and am just going through the motions. Even when the talk is topic or task-related others can often sense that you're just trying to fill the conversation vacuum. Generally neurotypicals are better at reading when another person wants to talk or otherwise interact and then in sensing how much they should do or say. Maybe when two neurotypicals meet they can just feel more comfortable in each other's company and that makes both conversation or silence between them easier.
When I was a little guy I would say we when talking about myself, I still occasionally do. For me I was a very quite child I really didn't start to express communication until middle school or more or less was comfortable to use my voice I had a hard time understanding why my voiced sounded the way it did ( i wasnt insecure of it )that went away until my voice got deeper an the vibration that comes with talking would distract me and the current thoughts while communicating....the vibration sometimes catches me but I've adopted to not pay attention to it...much lol. I'm actually learning to use it as a healing and calming down tool. For me I can do the pretend to be neurotypical but I get so bored and drained talking about things that aren't deep and challenging. On the flip end of that when I am in those environments or situations I get drain and some cases potentially faster drained but tiz rewarding for me because I'm always going to learn something. I think we autistic humans seek to understand all corners of life,space,time, dimensions etc...at least for me I love when a new understanding clicks or presents itself. Being a deep empath I can bond with with almost anyone but my ability to read and or pick up on subconscious intentions or vibration within them I tend to just go welp this will not turn out as a healthy relationship...and with that I should relent a little because it is limiting the ones I'm trying to bring into my life but then I'm like can I really trust this human...tiz a conundrum for me 😎🤓✌️🤙☮️🤜🤛🚀☯️🖖
Yeah, connecting is hard, only romances with bipolar women have really had a semi-connection., I was just out and about at the dollar store, and it was way way awkward.
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Wow this was really helpful, it is so valuable to hear a first hand experience of what it's like to engage in social interaction as an autistic person. Again it underscores how important it is for awareness of autism to be increased, because then non-autistic people can adapt to help make communication easier in social situations. I remember you saying that you find the company of socially very gifted non-autistics easier, I wonder if more awareness of autism could lead to there being more such people around.
That was a very good account of the issues regarding small talk (or indeed conversation in general). it's not just about the topic or stock questions - it's about all the accompanying non-verbal communication, how long to talk for, etc. Often the standard advice is "show interest in the other person, ask them questions" but it's more complex than that as people don't always want to interact or answer questions or even engage on topics such as the weather. On the subject of small talk I hate it as it seems so pointless so I'm sure another person in interaction can sense that I don't really want to do it and and am just going through the motions. Even when the talk is topic or task-related others can often sense that you're just trying to fill the conversation vacuum. Generally neurotypicals are better at reading when another person wants to talk or otherwise interact and then in sensing how much they should do or say. Maybe when two neurotypicals meet they can just feel more comfortable in each other's company and that makes both conversation or silence between them easier.
When I was a little guy I would say we when talking about myself, I still occasionally do. For me I was a very quite child I really didn't start to express communication until middle school or more or less was comfortable to use my voice I had a hard time understanding why my voiced sounded the way it did ( i wasnt insecure of it )that went away until my voice got deeper an the vibration that comes with talking would distract me and the current thoughts while communicating....the vibration sometimes catches me but I've adopted to not pay attention to it...much lol. I'm actually learning to use it as a healing and calming down tool. For me I can do the pretend to be neurotypical but I get so bored and drained talking about things that aren't deep and challenging. On the flip end of that when I am in those environments or situations I get drain and some cases potentially faster drained but tiz rewarding for me because I'm always going to learn something. I think we autistic humans seek to understand all corners of life,space,time, dimensions etc...at least for me I love when a new understanding clicks or presents itself. Being a deep empath I can bond with with almost anyone but my ability to read and or pick up on subconscious intentions or vibration within them I tend to just go welp this will not turn out as a healthy relationship...and with that I should relent a little because it is limiting the ones I'm trying to bring into my life but then I'm like can I really trust this human...tiz a conundrum for me 😎🤓✌️🤙☮️🤜🤛🚀☯️🖖
Yeah, connecting is hard, only romances with bipolar women have really had a semi-connection., I was just out and about at the dollar store, and it was way way awkward.