How Women Compete For Partners - Joyce Benenson
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- Joyce Benenson is a lecturer of Human Evolutionary Biology at Harvard University who's research focuses on human social structures and sex differences in competition and cooperation.
We're often told that men are more competitive, more status-driven and more ruthless with rivals for potential mates. In reality doesn't seem to be true, the difference is that women's competition takes a more subtle, cynical and sophisticated route to drive away their competitors.
Expect to learn how women compete for status, why women exclude more than men, why women who promote an egalitarian world are less charitable than you might think, how you can interfere with a rivals' relationship without getting caught, the usefulness of gossip as an enforcement mechanism and much more...
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#dating #competition #women
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00:00 Intro
00:37 What is Unique in Female Competition?
09:27 Why Girls Should Be Subtle about Educational Success
16:15 The Dark Reason for Females Being More Egalitarian
25:32 Female Competition in Sexual Selection
34:10 Are Women More Anti-social than Men?
39:15 Why Boys & Girls Have Different Childhood Toys
44:31 Do Women Avoid Physical Methods of Conflict?
48:25 Society’s Denial of Differences Between Sexes
52:58 Women Interfering in Rival Relationships
1:00:38 Are Men Becoming More Feminised?
1:05:02 How Joyce Has Avoided Controversy
1:07:20 Where to Find Joyce
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Hello you ruthlessly competitive beasts. Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:37 What is Unique in Female Competition?
09:27 Why Girls Should Be Subtle about Educational Success
16:15 The Dark Reason for Females Being More Egalitarian
25:32 Female Competition in Sexual Selection
34:10 Are Women More Anti-social than Men?
39:15 Why Boys & Girls Have Different Childhood Toys
44:31 Do Women Avoid Physical Methods of Conflict?
48:25 Society’s Denial of Differences Between Sexes
52:58 Women Interfering in Rival Relationships
1:00:38 Are Men Becoming More Feminised?
1:05:02 How Joyce Has Avoided Controversy
1:07:20 Where to Find Joyce
Bring more evolutionary psychologysts please!
Can someone tell this lady who seems to be struggling to trust the system that the mercury and aluminum used as preservatives in shots aren't her imagination. As mad as a Hatter they used to say.
And the last component of the entire conversation about why guys don't get sad about their peers getting a win is because if it's not life and death it doesn't matter. It's the same reason men are more likely to be happy or content in the wilderness as apposed to all the creature comforts of modern living.
Life is far easier to do when you satisfy your needs rather than your wants and mature men seek peace.
champ.
I think she is very subjective. Many women prefer to show off, precisely to provoke envy. Much more than men do. Men are driven by competitiveness.
So many if not most of higher educated males compete like the females do?
I 100% agree👍😂
"Men mock each other, but they don't mean it.....women compliment each other, but they don't mean it"
@@kc6810 ...or if men compliment women....
It’s true.
Beta males mock each other, strong men think twice before doing it because they know what men are capable of amd wont pick a fight unless it important
Sam Vaknin explains in video "How Porn Destroyed Sex (and Narcissism, of course) (ENGLISH responses)"
that women not needing men is a myth created by journalists, that from psychological point its the exact oposite that many men feel like they dont need women,.....because they are satisfied with using just the 2D sexual films, because from psychological point man´´s connection with a female is mostly visual, while female connection to aman is mostly verbal...talking with him and feeôl his thoughts through verbal contact.
because when you watch these 2D films, from scientific point the man´s brain doesnt know the difference between 2D picture and 3D picture....
for the brain thinks both is the same,
so the man´s brain gives the signal "I dont need a woman or longtime partner, this 2D film is enough for me"
or even better, because in 2D movies the sexual plot has different versions.
Of course man consciously may think I want to marry,
but you have to understand that conscious mind and subconscious mind work in two diffetrent ways.
Conscious mind works only 5 percent a day, subconscious mind works 95 percenta day.....
Subcosncious mind is more negative, and works based on habits.
So the porn industry realized the neiurological "trick" on human brain that the brain find sit exciting,
so men feel like thye dont need woman because they are satisfied having male friendships at work.
He says from psychologicalk point women feel like they need a man,
he says the reason is because women and men need each other to craete bonda nd famiyl and kids...
but he explains that men need women much less than women need men,
because also menś connection with woman is mostly visual... while womens needs and connection with a man are mostly verbal...
he says therefore women do all kinds of crazy things to attarct men, because the socieyt cahnged tahnks to amodern culture and women know that man ymen dont need woman.
ah actual gender studies that isn't batshit insane and dumb af.
what a joy. this was so fascinating and refreshing.
I felt that gender studies is getting young fit women to be incompatible partners with men. I.e. it was just a subconscious mate competition.
Except that this one doesn't label itself gender studies and yet actually does more justice to the term.
@@OrwellsHousecat Hey, thanks for the share, friend. I'm going to go check some of this out now. Just wanted to let you know you've expanded someone's horizons. And sometimes that's all we can do for each other. Hope you'll enjoy life, good luck out there.
Truth.
Yeah, gender studies that do not suck are called evolutionary psychology.
For men unless we really dislike them we are rooting for another man when he does well. We know how hard life is and when someone overcomes that it's a reason for celebration. Him being successful doesn't limit our ability to be successful, in fact it shows that we can accomplish the same thing if we work hard enough.
I'd argue our reaction to another man doing well is fully decided by our impression of said man. If we don't know him or we think well of him, we appreciate his achievement. If he's a douche, we hate it.
Elon is a perfect example.
@@KristianRobertsen Which explains why Elon is so universally liked by most intelligent men.
@@schmingusssno, only by neurodivergent (people with neurodevelopmental disorders). Not intelligent.
True for men in a different field than yours. Like this lady said, we compete in the same field, but will root for men in different fields.
@@schmingusss he isn't. He was, but he isn't anymore. Regardless of whether you agree with him or not on things, he acts like a douche and that ruins it.
At 44:15 ‘the male denial of medical problems…’ - don’t know if common, but in the later half of my 20 year relationship, I found my wife increasingly shaming me when I got sick. Sometimes even subtly challenging me, as if I was faking, looking for attention. It got to a point I wouldn’t mention half of the times I was unwell for fear of being doubted or gaslit. It was weird like a few times it was like she thought I was ‘copying her’ for attention when she got sick, seemingly not understanding how a virus can jump from one family member to another…. Ditto for men crying…. Most women say they want it, but a lot of us men have experienced painful gaslighting, the look of disgust, follow up lack of attraction, loss of respect. So we’ll keep our crying to our “secret” locations on our own, thinking why risk it. There’s a few acceptable circumstances (like funeral etc.), but sharing vulnerabilities or insecurities, sharing feelings of hurt - I just don’t want to be kicked when I am already down!
And this is why I won't marry
That does not sound like a relationship worth having tbh
my ex loved to take care of me when i was sick, she was sweet, caring and attentive. I don't think your wife is very mature, even it sounds that she is toxic
Two of the most manly of men that I dated, yes I have a type, broke down in tears one was in so much physical pain he couldn’t stop writhing and sobbing it was so guttural, I thought god he even cries like a man, it was powerful it made me jump into action level headed to help him. The other sobbed hearing his mother tell the police (he was hiding in the bushes next to them with his dog) she never wanted him, he was nothing but problems. She had bought six burgers for her own boyfriend handed them to him in front of her son, the boyfriend said hey you want one I can’t eat this many. He took one and his mom flew across the room over the pool table and smacked it out of his hand just as it was nearing his mouth. She screamed that’s not for you it’s for Steve. He threw her off the boyfriend screamed at her wtf he’s your own son, she screamed I don’t care. The fact is she didn’t never did. The thing is she later admitted that she was a terrible grandmother and an even worse mother, he was murdered years later. When the cops called I said he was a really nice guy because he was, the cop interrupted with why does everyone keep saying that. I explained to him that first and foremost he was a human being, he was an addict and they do things they would never want to do to get there drugs, secondly he was not a psychopath nor a sociopath….he never had a chance in this life because at 9 years old the older guys gave him cocaine because they thought it was funny to watch him run around like a maniac and a mother at home who didn’t care. White middle class incase you’re wondering. Back to the point m’en cry and when they do it’s real ❤
This is narcissistic behavior, not alle women / men are narcissist
As an educator, this was an eye-opener in one particular way: We know that males and females are on average of equal intelligence. Yet girls far outperform boys in school settings, which are highly feminized environments. Makes you wonder how much male potential is being lost in the process of our model of education. It argues for single gender schools where boys can thrive in a male friendly environment where testosterone isn't "problematized."
BTW, the research on the importance of fathers to healthy development of both boys AND girls is quite clear. Not just 2 parents, but FATHERS. The results of fatherlessness are evident all around us.
I reckon schools should do personality and IQ tests on kids to figure out what they are good at and grooming them for roles they might be adept for rather than teaching everything in a subpar manner then letting them make their own decisions when they have no life experience.
@flyaway6671 A lot of countries track their students into university, technical, voc ed, business paths. I think there is great value in this for a variety of reasons, including giving them useful real-world.job skills, allocating resources more effectively, etc.
The "problem" with single-sex schools/groups/teams is that the males (as a whole) end up doing OVERWHELMINGLY better than their female counterparts in MOST cases.
That's why the most veracious opposition to such things often comes from women, even though they simultaneously want female-only spaces. Simply put, forcing men/boys to work/learn in exclusively multisex institutions/contexts is a way of keeping them from maximizing their potential and thus "evening the playing field", much like women do to one another intrasexually.
@@AS_210 Damn...harsh truth right there.
@@flyaway6671 If they did that, and there were any differences in numbers among race or class, it would be considered unacceptable to egalitarian types.
My son is a state trooper who on a daily basis deals with major accidents. The entire cleanup crew is invariably made of men. Men and big machines. They cut out the humans, ship them off to the hospital or morgue, do the investigation, clean up the spilled fuel, put the vehicles on a trailer, and do it all in minutes so the traffic can run again. On the odd occasion that there’s a woman involved, she’s typically a very masculine one. Big men and machines make the world go around.
@@kc6810 Right. With some exceptions because this is a team game! 60% of ER doctors are men, whereas about 80% of ER nurses are women. And it is good that we don’t try to artificially equalize all things at the cost of society efficiency and effectiveness. Nothing I said denigrated women. I merely identified a set of roles in which men choose to serve. And even then it’s the more masculine men and the occasional masculine woman who show up to clean up. It’s a rough and tumble group, who tend to be denigrated by the term “toxic masculinity.” Salute to them and their “toxicity,” that’s all I’m saying!
Amen! ♥️ needed to be said, men don't get enough credit
@kc6810 not sure where you get your stats from, plenty of male nurses especially in high care. And, of course, majority of doctors are male. So
@@kc6810 Virtually everyone in the SJW movement who complains about toxic masculinity denigrates those people. Starting with their general hatred for law enforcement. On doctors, I was simply bringing up an important exception to your statement that women dominate emergency healthcare. And to denigrate doctors, both men and women, as not doing “the majority of the real work” is also shortsighted. In healthcare, everyone works as a team and doctors serve a very important, indispensable role. You seem to want to “what about” the discussion. It’s a vacuous game.
@@12xenn45 🙏
I got an honours award at uni, so I shared the news on Facebook because I had barely passed high school decades before due to PTSD. The reaction to my good news was overwhelmingly negative from both men and women. It was mostly “big deal, I got that too, it’s not that hard.”
I’m proud of you and you should be of yourself as well 🎉❤
Well done my friend. They are crabs in a bucket
Well done, Louisa. Keep going strong. 💪
To overcome your PTSD and achieve that is a feat. Congratulations. The context is very important. The people displaying negativity in response to your shared success likely had extensive support networks in their lives which made their accomplishment easy by comparison.
@@DuncanL7979 Yeah, I don't think they knew anything about my context. Although, I don't know why it would be necessary for them to understand in order to show support for others when they achieve something.
It was my mom who told me females can be brutal around each other. My mom was right. She told me 'forget misogyny that you learned. Girls and women treat each other just as bad.' By was my mom right.
Yes especially after you lose a lot of weight sheesh 😺.
Sometimes I feel like when you get two 'hot' girls talking to one another they are all smiles and respect on the surface but behind the smiles they are thinking "bitch, dont think you're hotter than me"
@@pauldsheppard126yes!!! This so much. There are so much hidden competition that you didn't even sign up for. So stressful and exhausting
Women's competition is definitely more on a personal level. The jabs are designed to attack your character, your looks, social status and the men you attract. There's a lot more backstabbing and a lot less trust.
They have a term for it: relational aggression. See 'Mean Girls.'
Summary of this interview - women are less likely to bash each others heads in with a rock but they'll wage absolute psychological warfare to crush their minds and spirits of their enemies before they lift a finger.
I'm so glad I'm a guy. I'll take a punch in the face over that any day.
That's a really accurate take.
But you have to marry one of them if you want to reproduce lmao Most women will tell you they have more guy friends than girl friends. Most guys will tell you they have more guy friends than girl friends. Its because of what you mentioned above. So what does that tell you?
Yet women are leaving men at an alarming rate as well as winning in court... Make it, make sense lmao
Yes, very accurate for a male, but with one supporting observation. Women never forgive enemies, real or imagined. Men will fight and then become friends or allies, often because of fighting. Everyone talks about how women are better at relationships. Well, let’s just say I’m skeptical about that as a broad social observation.
Yep, that's why I prefer men as friends.
Also, their's a male caveat I've been noticing for a few years observing my male friend.
A lot of men operate as girls do with their bros, lol. Too funny to watch 😂
@@kc6810 That's not what I said. I said, ask any women and she'll tell you she has more male friends than girl friends. Ask any man and he'll tell you he has more guy friends than female friends. Enough said.
I didn't say that I think it should be that way. I didn't say I have research to back it up. Just ask and I'll be proven right, guaranteed.
Something I figured out is that if a woman tries to exclude you from a social group and ruin your reputation, when you exclude yourself and not try to protect your reputation, they try to rope you back in. I don't know why this happens but it does fairly consistently.
@@ronhoek69 So you're saying they feel afraid that they created a situation where a man has nothing to lose and it could bite them back? When I look at my own examples in my life it feels like some of them just felt guilty for doing it but for others it feels like they realised that the only reason you're ostracised is due to their badmouthing and they want to cover their tracks. If they painted you as a bad person but someone finds out that you're not and they've been excluding you without good reason then it will lead back to the person who instigated it all.
@@flyaway6671 As an introverted male that works in a group of 6 extroverted women, this is true. At least in work places it depends on the high status person in the group. A couple of the women I work with have engaged in a lot of gossip, reputation damage and bossy/controlling behaviour towards me, but as soon as it peaked and they realised the manager, aka the high status person was remaining objective and not joining with them, the reversal in their behaviour towards me was remarkable. It's school playground level mean girl stuff that I have to try and navigate through.
The reason they do this is they need allies, who will not overthrow them.
@@ronhoek69 I think you have some bias, because I don't think men are "much more accepting to each other" AT ALL. I think men are just as likely to exclude outsiders and tarnish their reputation. It's just that the reasoning behind the exclusion varies between the genders: with women it's based on physical attractiveness and femininity (maybe not anymore, but when I was in school) whereas with boys its determined by what you can provide as far as fun/entertainment goes, and even stretching to your sexual (or social in school) market value: SMV. I played soccer growing up and although I was one of the best players on my team, I was excluded because I was more handsome and grew up with a single mother so I rarely had the nicest cleats or the best hotel rooms during tournaments.
If you don't act emotionally, or don't let her see it affects you, that actually is a loss for her, she lost that "battle". Women want to see that what they do, be it whatever trick they pull off, it affects you.
One of the most powerful things you can do to a woman is ignore her. Women want to be heard, it's one of their most basic needs because they have, on average, more social nature, so if they are ignored, in a way, it is similar to dying, incredibly powerful, that's why in the case you explain, they try to reel you in again, it's all, in the end, for validation that what they are "doing to you" has an effect.
One of the reasons for example, why women claim to want an emotionally available man, and yet end up being attracted to emotionally aloof men... is because these guys are a sort of puzzle to solve for them, it's a challenge. The best way to keep a woman's interest is, be or at least seem unaffected by her actions, and ignoring her (obviously not too much otherwise she could take it as outright rejection and leave).
How women compete intrasexually:
- gossiping
- deprecation
- lying about lack of other women's competency, reputation.
- all passive agressive stances
- setting competitors for failure.
- pretending to befrend to gain information
It seems to be that men prove they are better than the competition and women tear the competition down.
@@Blazingmonolith1 she stated early on that when men brag, it is a form of tearing other competitors down. So we do it as well, it just takes a more direct form.
@@inconnu4961 elevating yourself and bringing others down are not the same though.
One girl in medical school spread untrue rumors about a guy having cheated in a previous relationship. That way she made all the other girls not want the guy so she could have him for herself. The guy didn't know about it before much later. His reputation was ruined and his self-confidence went down because all the other girls seemed hostile toward him for no apparent reason. So he fell for the one girl that was positive to him (she was definitely under his league looks wise), wich was the girl that spread the rumor.
This is amazing content. My daughter (age 8) has already experienced reputation destruction and bitching. At the age of 4 she went to a party and 4 of her friends wouldn’t let her play with them for around 30 minutes. She has striking features and is talented. When she shows her skills off, you can see other girls getting jealous. We’re helping her manage this and to rein it in without crushing her. When I heard this podcast I asked her what she would do if a girl came to her dance class and was so much better than anyone else.
“I would probably feel jealous because they will get lots of attention, make their own gang and I’ll have no friends.”
This honesty was refreshing because as adults, we create sophisticated reasoning because we don’t want to admit our nature. After her new gymnastics class, she said, “there was a girl who came and was showing off. My inner voice understood what she was doing it and I just ignored her. ”
Thanks for starting these conversations.
You brought up an interesting element that I don't think was mentioned in the podcast: when a girl is perceived as the best, she will gain a lot of attention for it and other girls will drop previous friends to be with the "best" girl. Being that women are highly interested in gaining attention and status, it's no wonder that they understand just how much every tiny little act can change things.
@@kc6810 I feel she’s very fortunate to have parents who love her and know she’s not fault-free and can irritate people (either by boasting or through no fault of her own). She’s learning how to manage her talents and manage relationships which are different skills.
@@unapologeticanti-feminist3205 Men are the same way unfortunately.
@@israelp348 people bias gender with western values. Highly competitive, individualistic, ego-tripping, high status are our cultural values, not masculine or femenine
@@JoseRRodriguez American values. Not so bad in Germany here.
I love this type of content! As a 43 year old woman, I can definitely relate to Benenson's findings about female behaviour. It's spot on! Additionally, as a teacher for 21 years, I can say that she is correct with regards to the obvious differences in the sexes. You see it from the time the children are in nursery.
She’s 43?!?!
children in nursery have already picked up a boatload of cues about how they need to act, s e x role wise.
really no such thing as masculinity or femininity; those are performative. there's just humanity.
@@bigboypantsgolf No bro, writer of this post is...
@@Diegoshadow85 thank you. It’s confusingly written. Dangling modifier and all.
@@bigboypantsgolf Thanks for the feedback. Sorry for the confusion. I was overly excited to type my comment (which I just clarified.) Have a wonderful day!
From personal experience, sending boys to an all-boys school works brilliantly! The way they are taught is specific to how boys learn and there is an awareness of testosterone levels in relation to how the day is structured (allowing rest periods at certain times of the and sports at others). Best thing you'll ever do for your sons ❤️
You, nice stranger, have just hit the nail on the head.
@@theflame5919 by the grace of God, he's a healthy, happy young medical student ♥️ we are divinely protected.
@as_2139 thank you, kind stranger 🙏🏽
@@theflame5919 quitting like you are is weak, weakness is what allowed us to get into this mess.
I hope they learn to communicate well with the opposite sex at the right time. If they don't, developmental psychology might make them hopelessly awkward around the opposite sex.
Also, you don't like that someone dropped out by not having children? Well, have fun telling your future wage slaves and cannon fodder how blessed they are to be forced to put out the dumpster fire. That is... Assuming the dumpster fire doesn't even burn them instead.
Let the world burn, something better can rise from the ashes.
I was driving Uber part-time back in 2015 in Oakland, CA. My black passenger took the opportunity to lecture me, using coded language, about the problems that white people are causing by living in Oakland. I said, "oh, I don't live in Oakland I live in (the town next door). But probably the reason housing is so expensive is because no one is allowed to build new houses " She raised her voice, eventually yelling, shift into the middle of the back seat and started leaning forward and went on this absolute marant just as we were pulling up to her house. She continues to yell, I said, okay have a good one. She goes, what did you say? I said have a good one I got to go now. Bye. She reported me to Uber for using racial slurs.
Ironic how she is the one who sees and judges everyone by race and lives a bigoted life probably receiving moral support from like minded bigots. Most people in Oakland are not like that
As a life long black man who has awakened from the race bullshit I can see what you said happening😂😂 those types of people are very dangerous
F up
Control freaks who are offended by everything. Worst types of people
i always felt it was weird that people suggested that being sensitive, nurturing, caring, neurotic, compassionate were bad things for women to have and if women had them then they were bad. It always seemed kind of woman hate-y. Those are all great qualities for staying alive, keeping others alive, and living well while being alive
@@kc6810 These are all very good statements. Ultimately, men see things through a male-oriented lense because we understand it. Women see things through a female-oriented lense. One is not inherently better than the other, its just what we know, just what we can understand. Balance is the key here. But we as men have been a bit unfair casting aspersions on all sensitivity. but we as men typically dont understand it as deeply as women do. its just the way we were made. We can try to learn and should but likely are at a disadvantage and likely always will be.
That's how you make society crumble, you disturb their natural balance and roles
Only feminists hate these traits. So they can break the ‘patriarchy’. Denying the most fundamental thing about themselves, ending up alone and miserable.
@@inconnu4961 I've been thinking about this exact thing a lot! It makes me sad that while we live in an era where everyone can share their opinion on anything through social media we have less and less understanding for each other looking only through our male/female lense.
Chris, this was excellent. Several parts I'm going to share with my wife. I feel like there is way too much space here where there is only one way to see things. Either men are good, and women are being unfair, or women are pure victims, and men are nothing but bad. You do a great job of showing how we're all just human beings. Keep doing what you're doing. Your stubborn refusal to placate any particular side is wonderful. It keeps my marriage stronger. Don't let the bastards grind you down.
Big love mate
Totally agree with you on this.
@@ChrisWillxthat’s not how Malice describes it.
(But seriously, you F’n rock!)
@@ChrisWillx You did forget one *IMPORTANT* question , though, to ask her.
Indeed we get that men and women are different (duh).
The difference today is in the power dynamics.
How is is that men of previous generations could deal with women's ugly side and keep society in check.. But today's men are carpets, whimps and too crippled to say anything?
Men actually respect a lower status male attempting to compete up, even if they fail. They disrespect a submissive male who simply accepts their given slot. The Vikings, for example, didn’t reward (with a trip to Valhalla) the best warriors, but the warriors who showed the most courage on the battlefield. So a weaker warrior who got killed being aggressive was valued because that rising tide floated all boats, so to speak. It’s basically how you win. A new guy in the UFC always talks about becoming the champion even though it’s implausible. That’s how you talk.
True.
Yup, we love an underdog
Touché.
Agree w this
Thats western way of thinking not all male around the world we asian not all talk big and prove nothing
The whole "male competition" analysis was spot on. The military exploits these traits... especially in the SOF units.
Something I learned from my brief military experience: I didn't need the man on either side of me to like me in or to be someone I liked; I needed him to be someone I trusted to be competent, to be courageous, to hold his position, to not run away and betray me. When things got harry, it didn't matter if I disliked him personally so long as I trusted him to do his duty. And so while we might have been skeptical of a fat man, a small man, and so on...if he showed his mettle and stood up to harassment, we respected him. The one thing we could not accept was a coward. Incompetence was difficult to deal with, but you could at least find something a less competent man was good at. And if you were a leader, you would mentor the less competent men into competency.
Real life is so unlike the military. It really shakes your core beliefs tbh.
People are finally waking up and realizing women aren't these perfect little angels and do in fact compete- at least for the top 10-20% of men
Yeah when the whole girls power nonsense talk settles, reality is that they try to get to the resources. Which are possessed by the top 1% men
NOBODY thinks women are "perfect little angels". wtf ?
Have you been living under a rock ?
Nothing wrong with competing for the best.
@@goofygrandlouis6296 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA top comment
@@goofygrandlouis6296 he believed that there was some kind of soul mate he will meet someday. But it’s not the case, he’s not selected by women.
When Joyce Benenson speaks about women becoming jealous of other women, it’s scarily accurate. The most beautiful and talented women I know in my own life are constantly comparing themselves to lower status women who are not competition in the mating pool. I could never understand it but now I do.
@@kc6810 how so?
This strategy is called Passive Aggressive. The problem on the receiving end is not knowing what the motives are of the perpetrator, hence being at an informational disadvantage.
Passive aggressiveness never comes from a place of positive motivations or sincerity. It's an undercurrent of contempt that the person is too cowardly to say directly or simply leave the person they despise alone.
As a woman, I wish I understood these things when I was younger
A friend of mine went to an all girls school and said she really enjoyed it which is why she went for an all girls college at university. But when she got there, she realised what she wanted was now very different. The male/female dynamic does change over time.
"I've always admired, very much all that men have contributed. They've created our society. Our society is man made." - Joyce Benenson
"If you are looking at the research, in all species, males always trying to be better to one another because they get more mating success" So it really is all about the monkey patriarchy
That's Camille Paglia's argument, as well.
@@Doutsoldome exactly. She doesn’t say this clearly out of politeness but if you listen carefully, women are forced to backstab one another in a desperate attempt for equality which is a consequence of toxic masculinity.
I would sort of love to believe that was true (being a male), but of course it’s not. Women were there, all the time.
Along with all the bad things in society. It was created by men FOR men.
I had low testosterone for many years (as a guy). When I started testosterone therapy my neuroticism and chronic pain (fibromyalgia) reduced significantly. The pain-killing effects of testosterone are especially under-appreciated, but it seems to activate the endorphin (opioid) receptors. Low dose testosterone has even proven to be an effective fibromyalgia treatment in women.
thanks for sharing, will look into it for my patients.
100%. I have been on TRT for 6 years now (am currently 25). I am still quite agreeable (but less so now) but my neuroticism has significantly decreased.
Totally agree, I am 55 y.o. woman and was prescribed 10mg Oxandrolone for my osteopenia, and bone pain, what the big surprise is my fibromialgia of 30 years has gone in 4 months. Who knew...I am so angry now for suffering so long.
I noticed many behavioural patterns in women in regards how they treated other women. One tactic I called compliment- dig - compliment. First she gives the other woman a compliment; let’s say about her hair, then she throws a quick dig to undermine her, and then she quickly moved back to being complimentary. The tactic is used to kill off the other woman’s sexiness because now she is ruminating about how she looks as opposed to feeling relaxed and smiling etc.
Wow that's smart. Never thought of that
Every time I listen to one of these biologists or evolutionary psychologists, my belief in "free will" takes a hit; it seems everything we do, want, or feel, can be explained or at least connected to our instincts or predispositions.
However, it's great to once again hear someone dispute the "we are all the same, gender is a decision not a predeterminate" wave. As she said, we certainly have some work to do in assuring equal rights and opportunities in life, but we ARE different, and it's not only ok, but GOOD that we're different.
Yeah you might be right. And understanding why you want certain things
When materialism is assumed, as it is by many evolutionary psychologists, any human phenomenon can be deconstructed through a reduction to the biological (and then the chemical, physical, and so forth.). Yet, they continue to use rational arguments and try to convince others as if they are rational agents and not automatons. How can that be? They do not live in the world they argue for.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about self-refuting arguments. Biological reductionism itself can be deconstructed with biological reductionism. Another example is the philosophy of positivism, which cannot be verified through the methods of positivism(the statement "truth can only be found through scientific methods" cannot be verified through scientific methods).
I think evolutionary psychology is useful insofar as it stays in its lane. Evolutionary/biological causes are necessary but not sufficient for explanations of human phenomena.
I love seeing evo psych and genetic determinism because it goes against common leftist and conservative life scripts.
Leftists would love for us all to think we get a fair share at birth and some social construct is what keeps us down.
Conservatives love to argue that anybody who is poor or sick will not pull up their bootstraps hard enough. To them, there is nothing hard work and a good work ethic won't fix.
Also, I love the black pill, it dares to reject such blue pilled garbage, and gives people a place to escape for the red pill motivational garbage. Not everybody gets to be an elite because they try hard, and at least the black pill is kind to the people who lost the natural lottery.
You know part of free will is realizing you do have options and you always have the choice to change into something else. To tear your old self down and begin rebuilding anew. It'll be hard. It'll be like going to rehab for meth. Or ripping off your own arm because your environment has so very deeply imbedded habits on you. Imprinted you with ideas and thinking that will be very difficult to shurk off. But it is possible. I frequency listen and follow people on youtube, who by all statistics should be a certain way because of their environments, but due to certain situations in life, they pointed a mirror directly at themselves; and they saw someone they didn't like. And so they decided to change.
This whole evolutionary biology explanation for life is godless and leaves out that we are created in the image of God. Other "species" do not operate under free will, but we humans are not animals - mammals - we operate under free will. There is a truth in this , but we are to overcome the sinful nature.
===> Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elements of the world, rather than Christ. (Colossians 2:8)
The whole healthy at all sizes and "go rack up a body count" is a way to even out the playing field in dating. Ladies need to listen to their parents (mom and dad) before any other lady who isn't blood. It's evolution. People are trying to pass down their genes. It's competition.
Haha, and that's why i stay at a healthy size, and the only thing i rack up is my weights in the gym because i have good gym etiquette, lol.
@@carolallison9685 Dope! It'll go a long way! :) These people are not your friends. Men lie to get the box. Women lie to even the dating playing field. Sure, parents lie too, but, probabilistically, it's better to listen to them than people on the streets
you are sloppily linking lots of things that bother *you* together and stapling it to "Bad Woman". MEN are trying to pass down their genes. women need to listen to their own best judgement and intuition. logic and emotion should be hand in hand, or else something is wrong. :)
Nothing makes a woman happier than one of her “friends” putting on weight.
Most women are sneaky gossip mongers. They treat each other awfully.
@@carolallison9685 GAINS!
Identifying/destroying an enemy
and healing/helping are two complimentary sides to the same coin of survival.
I'm a female in my 30s who has always struggled with social dynamics and competition. I've now realised I might be autistic (currently being assessed), so this entire conversation is fascinating to me.
Same here. I think I am Asperger-ish and have extremely rarely felt competitive towards other women.
@@kellymiller3747 yes, and I had weird interactions at school where two girls asked me if I had waxed my eyebrows in a quiet classroom with all students there. That interaction confused the hell out of me but seemed significant because it was just so out there and random (these girls never talk to me). I now realise it was some kind of reputational take down of sorts... They really didn't need to do that though. I'm far too direct for my own good and naturally pushed people away by the way I talk 😂
@@kellymiller3747 oh, and I also landed up with an ADHD husband who really, really likes my direct nature and lack of scheming games 😅
Why is it that any man or woman who doesn't want to participate in the imposed gender roles, is always insinuated as being a r*t*rd and/or autistic? It's incredibly sexist demeaning.
I've seen the phenomenon of prioritization of equality in the workplace as a demand from the mostly female coworkers to remove all specialization of tasks and distribute every task exactly equally between the members of a project, despite it damaging efficiency greatly and despite the members having greatly different salaries. It felt always very ideological and ingrained. I feel like this is less common with older women, but the idealism of absolute equality seems to be very strong among women in their ealry 20's, which probably has a reflection on western politics from the perspective of the Left, where specialized gender roles are seen as a zero sum game with women as the losers, instead of seeing specialization as a force for common good.
seeing it now, I work in analytics and the amount of times I see my boss hand over bottom to top analytical work to our collegue who clearly prefers building dashboards boggles my mind. like, they are clearly better at dashboard building and having to wait on them to finish their analytics before we can begin our dashboards really drives me to the wall
@@tianolamas7832 I’ve seen multiple videos of Jordan Peterson pointing out in Sweden there has been the BIGGEST push toward 50/50 ‘equality in the workforce’ (which is really artificially modifying existing hierarchy models). The result was not equal representation of the sexes in all jobs, it actually went the OTHER direction that people naturally gravitate towards. Men gravitate toward object-oriented jobs. Women gravitate toward people-oriented jobs. These preferences are deeply ingrained into our DNA. I think forcing otherwise is meant to subvert what people are meant to do. Nothing is stopping anyone from choosing any field they want.
Crabs in a bucket. A common human condition.
I work in elementary education with mostly women, and they will tell on each other if things aren’t fair, even tiny stuff.
@johnsmith2221 life is tough ... get a helmet - Candace Owens
It’s interesting Joyce mentioned women want everyone to be equal. That explains a lot about our current society. And it proves we live in a gynocentric system not a patriarchy.
Bingo. The USA is definitely gynocentric, where women actually have more privileges than men.
Which is why I don't friend women up. I'm used to being top and they cannot accept that fact!
It is brutal. I'm not a Chad, but once had two girls at uni competing for me, while we sat on a staircase.
I realised they both wanted me when they both gave each other an absolute stare of death. It was scary. You'd think girls are nice to each other but... there might something else going on.
Anyway, girls really will do the most horrible things to each other to shoot each other down, usually with signals. Sad times. I didn't really think of either of them the same way after that, although they are pretty good at being innocent afterwards and helping you 'forget' it.
Wait till you get intel on what happens in these lunches we usually have 😩 brutal hints such that the people at the table get less & less. Some decide to not be friends & others just don't want to be friends for the good of their mental health. I have 2 female friends now & they have survived because they are not drama queens.
@@janetjohnston1702 It is always an A+ plan to not be a drama queen haha
@Michael Brown I'm from a 3rd world country so competition here is brutal because we compete with each other but at the same time are compared to the older generation of women. In my case my maternal grandmother who is a traditional Swati wife the current Matriarch, she had 17 cows as her dowry sent to her family while nowadays very few even get dowry at all 😩 some women even secretly do it themselves by giving the guy money just to get the status of your husband seeing the value in you to the points of paying dowry. Marriage is a normal flex here but a big flex is the dowry because it sets you apart from the rest so imagine the shame language the females use on each other if you get only a ring without the dowry 😕
@@janetjohnston1702 Yeah that's tough. I'm not familiar with Swati as a descriptor but is it Swahili? Or maybe it's something different, I don't know. But it seems you aren't living in the country any more?
@Michael Brown Lol as for Swahili, my country is Kingdom of Eswatini which translates as 'The land of the Swati people/tribe' & our language is siSwati. It's a small landlocked country in the Southern part of Afrika with a population of 1.2M . I was born & raised here and still live here.
I’m my case my female next of kin have been the most damaging and toxic humans in my life. Instead of celebrating each other “tall poppy-ing” me down into hopeless depression. The men in my life have been the most nurturing empathic and understanding of me. I am working every hard to heal the wounds that cut deep from the “wounded feminine” mind. Honoring the divine masculine and divine feminine within each of us in sacred yin Yang regardless of our gender.
Yeah, my sisters are the most toxic in my family. Good point about the divine aspect. That is what I think this conversation lacks. It is too materialist. Men and women have higher aspects than just survival and mating drives.
@@kc6810 You understand women but you don't understand men.
Men bond through doing things together, not from sitting down with you and talking about their feelings.
Men can bond without talking while playing games or sports with each other.
Women have to talk, a lot, to get things off their chest, unload, and bond. Women risk nothing by showing strong emotions. Overly emotional men can subconsciously be perceived as weak by fellow men and potential mating partners.
If you want to bond with a man, do something with him. Don't try to force him to 'open up' to you face to face. He's far more likely to open up to you if he feels the need shoulder to shoulder (doing something), not face to face.
@@kc6810 "Men can be empathetic but on a shallow level. They don’t want to go too deep into feelings and they get uncomfortable with those conversations"
some men are like that, others are not. it doesnt seem to me that you have a clue about men at all.
@@raze956 I don't think she does.
Shocker males are also more nurturing given the right circumstances .
Really love these sane conversations on your channel. It's fresh air in times of insanity these days.
The west has below replacement level fertility for 4 decades now. Ppl aren't having kids.
There are more old white ppl than children. More white ppl die then are born in most countries. About a third of the population is over 65.
Marriage and family formation is at all time lows. Children out of wedlock all time highs. Now more black kids go to university then whites as a proportion. White boys from poor backgrounds do the WORST in schools.
More young white ppl identifies as LGBTQ+/trans now. (It's legal in the west, so I'm comfortable with that). But they statistically have fewer children.
There is huge national debts/gdp. They have been fighting wars in muslim countries iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria and quiet wars in African muslim countries. (What did they achieve? Why did they truly go to all these wars? Who will truly benefit?.....ohh you, your children and grandchildren (if you had any) will pay for these wars from YOUR tax money)).
So with all this going on, in 20 short years time who will look after the old in the west? Where will the young ppl be, to work and pay taxes to support the NHS, adult social care, pensions etc....there will be MORE old white pensioners then young white ppl that work and pay TAXES.
Where will the new consumers, borrowers and economy stimulatetors come from............
If not from the immigrants and the children of the ethnic ppl and Muslims?
Is ALL this muslim ppl fault.
What do you think?
the insanity aka woke.
@@gwho right
This is one of the reasons I don’t bother having friends. It feels like shit when people are jealous of you, and it pours out into their actions even if they don’t realize it. I’d rather live without those terrible vibes and worries.
Not everybody is like that. You can find good friends who support you.
@@frankjennings4489 I doubt it’ll happen, but I’m open to the possibility. It’s a bit more likely now that I’m practicing opening my heart to people more. I just have to have the right guard up at the same time.
@@katpage9378 its a fact of life you have to come in terms with. Once you do it makes it easier to bare. I struggled with this once upon a time, but reading books on human nature & the social realm helped me tons.
@@truthhurts7 What’s a fact of life I have to come to terms with?
@@katpage9378 that people will be jealous of you at the slightest sign of your success.
Joyce Benenson’s work is probably one of the most under-rated / under-appreciated in the field of human inter/intra gender relations study.
I highly recommend her “Warriors and Worriers - The Survival of the Sexes” book. Clear, no BS, tons of references to academic articles. It’s on top of the knowledge heap along with David Buss and Cindy Meston findings and books.
Thank you for the book suggestions! Much appreciated!
@@OrwellsHousecat - What do you mean by “real research”? Is there “unreal research”? 🤔
Thanks for the suggestions! Elizabeth Bates and Deborah Powney specialize in domestic violence against males, as far as I know?
@@OrwellsHousecat - Ah, OK, I understand better, thanks! Well, any research that’s ideological and/or unfalsifiable is not science, by definition. 🤷🏻♂
Interested and shrewd “political convincing”, maybe?
However, why did you react in such a way to my comment on an interview of Joyce Benenson (who studies Human and Primate Evolutionary Biology & Behavior) with recommendations of other researches - all without any ideological agenda? 🤔
@@OrwellsHousecat - Are you sure we’re talking about the same person?
From what I’d read, all of her publications and book are either neutral or male-positive. Especially the ability of males to build complex societal structures where competency and results matter more than solipsistic self-preservation.
No signs of feminism of any wave in my view. 🤷🏻♂
Any citations, please?
@@OrwellsHousecat - Hmm… Would you care to type-in the time codes of the first 3 instances, please?
She has such a kind and caring aura.
One of my favourites of your podcasts. With regard to why women don’t get physical, it’s partly because we have a lower pain threshold, but more so because we don’t want to risk damaging our looks which we intuitively know are important (to men and women), and we instinctively fear that subtle, safe, *sneaky* retaliation that would likely far exceed the consequences of a black eye…(and which most women wouldn’t wear as a badge of participation like most men would).
Also, all forms of downplaying other women’s positive traits or successes or our own or our mates' to other women, are forms of mate guarding (edit: or reduction of ostracization from the group). That’s my take.
a lower pain threshold. Yeah my aunt and her lesbian friends CONSTANTLY said women can deal with more pain than men due to birth all whilst knowing I was a biology student and knew well enough that Hormones basically make you forget more than half the pain as well as some women who had orgasms due to the birth. I'm like are you shitting me but lesbians
@@jackhhun2698 remarkably ignorant.
Lol ur a wing women theres no such thing as that. U cant teach men to pick up women. Its just unnatural
Hey Wing, just wanted to say I felt this was a deeply insightful comment, and it was really welcome. I've been trying to understand more of how other people's brains work, So I really appreciate you chiming in on this one. I'm going to run it by my ladyfriend and see if this is something she's experienced too. Thanks kindly for sharing!
It is commonly and widely known women have a higher pain threshold. Not sure you told you different. Do women give birth? Or men? If men gave birth, it has been scientifically proven we would die. Therefore we arent as pain receptive.
Appreciate you and the work you do! My sons are late teens and early twenties and I will certainly be sending them this podcast. We frequently talk about the differences between boy-world and girl-world. The latter can be highly strategic, machiavellian, and quite vicious if you pay close enough attention. Thank you for bringing in Joyce and other experts who help shed light on the motivations behind some of the behaviors of both sexes.
quite?
I became aware of the highly strategic, machiavellian, and quite vicious world only after growing up and had suffered negative consequences. My Mom never alerted me when I was a growing boy. The male world is simpler indeed.
@@prashanthb6521 Same as you. My mom knew all of this, so did my father and to this day I'M SHOCKED!! that these people didn't even teach me how to cross the street. Their parenting style was 'make a mistake and i'll yell at you that you're stupid' LOL wow.
They can't learn about masculinity and boys from u. They need a father or masculine figure around.
You all act like men are innocent 😇 in everything they do 😹😹😹😹😹😹 Give me a break.
Most of your podcasts go right over the heads of my children, but that I can listen to your videos around them safely is such a blessing. Thank you.
Yes! Same!
(Just skip his David Goggins episode until the babies are in bed lol)
I don't know how I feel about her assumptions on male motivation. She's right, we are competitive. But its not hatred of others. She said
"ofcourse, it's misogyny it's racism whatever, domination of everyone else"
No, not whatever. Misogyny is the hatred of women, racism is the superiority of (typically) your race over others or your kin over outsiders. Those are 3 VERY different motivations. Women often look at the outcomes and assume the motivation. Male competition is typically to be the "#1 choice" in the eyes of the women and to establish our place among our peers. How does that square with the hatred of women? I genuinely don't know, if a woman can explain what's going on in my head that would be great. But for men, it's incredibly boring and not worth participating if competition isn't allowed for most things like skills, athletic and mental feats. That's why women making everything equal is causing men to disengage, what's the point of we're all just going to do the same thing at the same pace with the same outcome? I remember the most BORING and aweful jobs me and a coworker would be palletizing cases for hours. Other than talking the only other thing that can make the job AT ALL interesting was competition. And we always did.
She says: "society needs to come up with more community based activities for men"
We had those. They have all been banned and suspected as terror cells....Excuse me, domestic violent extremist movements. So unless women make us get together under their constructed group activities, we aren't allowed. Even the damn Boy Scouts have been taken because "Well why can't girls be Boy Scouts? GIRLS CAN DO THAT STUFF TOO YOU KNOW"
And once it becomes a movement, women get what they want. Men just don't act as an exclusive group seeking their own self interest, women do. So we lose. This has been studied I'm not just making things up by the way. Look up female/male Human Resources gender bias in hiring.
Great comment. I do think she made a sweeping statement, and unfortunately the overwhelming negative bias against people who are sexist, racist etc makes it near impossible to be willing to admit to it, even if one had the intention to improve it. because people LOVE to condemn others, especially if they dont have to build a logical-based case to do it! Society as a whole, seems very misandrist now.
Thank you. Not everything we do is for men. I'd argue younger women tend to be competitive for males but like males, we compete in other things as well.
this has been one particular topic i've struggled to find quality content on. i am so glad you delivered!
Wow. The more you ask and Joyce explains, the more I realize that, we barely got out of the jungle and that we truly are the apex predators. No other animal have this tense of a competition. We are so harsh in our race of passing on genes that when the subtleness disappears, I can see us as the instinctive beast within human subconscious. Don't know why it gives me the feelings of resentment and disgust. I think it is a delusional optimism or knowingness that we could do better than the savages we came from.
Great content Chris.
Aka RED PILL baby
feelings of resentment and disgust? im rather impressed tbh. the lenghs to which we go as a race to achieve success truly is astounding.
Dolphins gang rape, zebras kill babies of new mates to get them to breed again (A lot of animals do that actually) certain insects eat each other (Some animals do too). Not to deny your point but I would personally like to point out the brutality of other species its not just us, its our "Nature"
Great interview!! Thanks to all involved!
Wonderful guest! Thoroughly enjoyed this chat. Great interaction n questions, Chris.
Great episode definitely helps round out my understanding! Looking forward to some of her papers that will be coming out. Have her back please when these come out!
"Why should a lower threshold for pain be discouraged or shamed?"
Because catering to hypersensitive people leads to paralyzing risk aversion.
You mean like 2 years of lockdown for a mild flu ?
@@goofygrandlouis6296 To pick just one example, yeah. Exactly.
This kinda stuff gives me hope. What's true. What is. Showing gratitude, asking for help, owning your stuff. More of all that.
Fantastic. Thanks to both of you for this interview. I shared it with my wife and her sister and they became immersed in talking about sensitivity, their mother, the psyops,...so I had plenty of time to play with the boys and discuss with and educate them on the responsibilities of a masterless samurai.
What a treat. Incredibly fascinating, but also so highly confirming of what we see in the wild. THANK YOU!
My theory: Women want everyone equal because then they are more likely to get with top men, at least once, men organise in a hierarchy to be those top men.
Organising in hierarchy isn't putting people down, it's fighting for the top, which is understood by men. I can compete fiercely with all my friends and still stay friends, Women have more shallow relationships in my experience.
@Focused Stoic the 1 % is not static, people are always being replaced. It’s just a race to the top
@Focused Stoic yeah and their money will be gone when their kids are adults. money only lasts 3 generations.
Jealousy among women is very destructive especially if one is beautiful. That should be explored. In workplaces, the lower ranking women will destroy attractive, successful ones. Huge problem.
The older I get the more I'd enjoy being part of conversations like this, even as an observer. It really beats talking about how so and so embarrassed themselves getting drunk and going home with whomever😒.
I've come to expect outstanding interviews on this channel, but this one topped my expectations.
Great conversation! I love that she said such positive things about men! But aside from that I happen to think traditional masculinity is awesome. I love that men are so uncomplicated and easy to get along with, never complain about driving 5 hours or lifting heavy suitcases and have NO idea if someone's worn the same dress twice lol 😆
I love being a woman but we're complicated and can be INSIDIOUS af ...
Women don't complain about driving 5 hours or lifting heavy suitcases.
Or are you only speaking for yourself.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 I'm not here for a consensus
@@kc6810 Yeah, like you said, it’s anecdotal. It was the opposite in our house but everyone is different.
@@manusha1349 That's a great response. I'm gonna use that one :)
@FreakyTvMan689 it's something Christopher Hitchens used to say, I use it to honour his memory 🙂
I don't know why but it kinda feels nice when she says "we need men" and when she acknowledges positive traits about men that, frankly, I didn't even know where positive traits. We boys are just being boys
Thank you Chris and Joyce for the video
This is the norm for us guys. We are just being us, we don't think about how good we are. Which sadly leaves us vulnerable to the reputation destroying tactics of jealous women (as women now also use those against men not just women).
Many of those lies being about how horrible men are in general, which is where the glass ceiling came from for example.
Because it's true and the extreme woke mobs is trying to take this away.
This was an absolutely amazing interview, bringing some much needed balance and sanity to the conversation.
Finally.... I've been asking people to discuss intrasexual competition instead of this red pill bs.... We need more discussion highlighting the impact of intrasexual competition instead of intersexual
LOL and people probably ignore you, and rightfully so, when you denigrate them for calling what they understand 'BS'! Society has set women up to now DIRECTLY compete with women in every realm of society AND to champion women & their desires & privileges over men! This is why the Red Pill 'BS' as you call it is necessary! you are correct in saying, however, that we can address the intra-sexual competition. But Red Pill philosophy is still needed as long as the government shows preferential treatment to women instead of being impartial observer or rule enforcer.
@@inconnu4961 red pill = good if used correctly resentment that society treats women better because of the red pill = bad
Fascinating interview, really enjoyed this
This is AMAZING! I am a happily married father of 5 Littles. I practice family law (men and women are both bad to each other) and I have competed in physical contact sports.
I CANNOT BELIEVE how insightful and accurate her observations are. incredible!
16:47 "You can stop me because it may not be that interesting, but[ . .]" is a perfect example of what she was talking about just before, about women deflecting or denigrating their achievements.
That actually seems more like a thing that professional academics tend to do.
@@BigBoomOfDoom2One does not preclude the other.
Love to get some expert insight on female competition; would love to see Joyce do some more interviews in the future
Golden as always. Can we have a part 2 please?
I really enjoyed this discussion, thanks.
Beautiful interview. She’s incredibly lovely, smart, and enjoyable to listen to. I was hooked on every word she said. I hope you interview her again.
Fantastic interview! New perspective on difference in world/life view for man and woman. Definetly this whole egalitarianism sheds a new lite on these new "movements" in our society.
I love the idea of developing institutes that will take advantage of both men and women's natural proclivities with the space allowed for women or non-conforming people to join those schools if they also have that interest. I personally, as a dude, got a Bachelors of Arts and loved doing my degree -- but my classes were primarily women and it is designed for women in mind. I credit my interest probably to the fact that I was raised and around almost exclusively women (10 cousins, 5 siblings, and only two were male besides me) but I think it would hugely benefit and be motivating for men to be honored in technical roles more than they are now. We need great electricians, plumbers, and tradesman to develop new infrastructure for the upcoming revolutions of various types. Great guest!
We dont need to develop more institutes. just leave people free to do whatever they want. What we need to develop is a commitment to free speech and free market
I’m glad so many people are going the education/office route. Makes our labor scarce and pricy.
I disagree. This system is already putting the needs of girls above the needs of boys. Boys perform better in all-boy settings. The girls can go elsewhere. It's not for the boys to pay the price for the benefit of the girls.
Awesome! I was hooked from start to finish!
I'm grateful for this conversation. I'm writing a book about serious women offenders including condemned women. Women offenders, especially violent ones, are seen to be as violating not only the law but unspoken and very profound gender norms.
The ultimate enemy is the self/ego, and men can band together to keep themselves in check. This is how you have war during peace.
Another insightful and interesting interview! Thoroughly enjoyed this one, too Chris! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you. This explains so clearly why my female friends and I diverge in so many subjects.
In schools it was done so under the radar, they changed the teaching and testing methods to fit female needs at the expense of men.
By the time the two genders leveled out they just got the accelerator to help females even more.
I was part of that last reform committees and it was an openly stated goal to help the girls at the expense of the boys.
I was very competitive in school and I didn’t care who knew it, yup and the girls hated me! 😬😂 I was born with a competitive nature bc I came from a family of 9 kids. You have to fight for your place. Heck I won a scholarship overseas! I didn’t really have to compete for men, especially when they just flocked over to me without me even encouraging it. Yes, other women hated me and all I did was focus on my achievements. When you come from a developing country, you tend to have more of a drive to achieve more, not to compete with men but just to have a better life. Something I didn’t have growing up as a young child!
@@kc6810 just bc I said it how I said it doesn’t mean I’m cocky in real life. I just found it funny that women are so quiet and ‘’proper’’ about their achievements so as not to make others uncomfortable, and these same women ironically can be very nasty to others especially other women. Trust me, I’ve come across and even at 1 stage had my life threatened just for existing…. real nasty women who were portrayed themselves as ‘’humble’’. And this wasn’t about achievements, this was about irony of what women say and how they’re really like. So I had a chuckle while I was writing my original comment!
@@kc6810 and to be fair, I’d rather be a genuine cocky person than a fake humble one!
@@kc6810 if you knew me in real life I’m very reserved and nothing was ever just given to me in life. Having lost both my parents before I turned 14, I really didn’t have time to sit around and play small and feel sorry for myself, don’t get me wrong, there were moments, existentially. I had to help raise my 3 younger siblings and had small to 0 typical teenage social life to young adult. Then going from home to home, sofa to sofa, trying to avoid sexual advances and r*pe, living with strangers or friends of friends. We had to be separated bc we were a big family. And when I finally have adopted parents they died 3 yrs later 12 months apart. Doing well enough to get out of horrible situations and living conditions, whatever is just around the corner is literally how I lived…If I die tomorrow, and that was around the corner, then it is what it is. All these competitions especially deceitful ones from other women became such a mundane, but amusing and sometimes ‘’scratch your head’’ pointless event, you have to laugh about it when you remember these experiences. I did!
@@Nah-ah true but it doesn't suit women ur supposed to be pure and innocent not masculine. Men don't like masculine women
Women only compete for chads. An ugly woman has more options than a decent looking guy. Women select, men compete most of the time. Most women have loads of guys hitting them up
The problem is how do you get men to do all the work society needs to when they no longer get a wife and partner as the reward?
you cant, this is why we want to see it all burn to the ground, as for me i plan of leaving society. hopefully soon, if women want to run the world let them run it into the wall
My guess the same way you get women to get married and have kids when loyalty from their husbands aren’t a given…you socialize them to.
Status is survival. Seeing another woman with more status than you means she has higher chances of surviving and her children thriving than you/yours. Also, as women need men to get to status in a stable manner, as Joyce said, so she can take care of the family and know they will still have resources etc, she needs a man (or someone else, but mostly a husband) to provide that. It is still a zero-sum, competition game, for women. While, for men, as we progress in technology etc, there is a lot more abundance in terms of what they can achieve, and it depends more on them than on a partner, which is not true for women.
Basically, there is a bunch of things to be attained and everyday there are more things, we produce more resources than we ever did. Men have an abundant environment to go for it and harness nature, it depends on them.For women, as men are their path, their proxy, to get to that abundance, even if a lot of resources exist they are still as scarce as the amount of men who possess them.
Lucid explanation. Thanks.
Ahhh... so men conquer nature, while women conquer men, to get at those resources. Nice point.
However, feminism tries to invert that, or maybe handicap men to give women the extra leverage to acquire those resources... and this ain't working so well for you ladies. Or is it ?
Or they are just envious narcissistic birches
@@keylanoslokj1806 lmao...maybe that too.
reasonable and good explanation
I really enjoyed this interview with Dr. Benenson. Maybe another one in the future?
I totally love my masculinity. I love that I’ve broken ribs, toes, an ankle, hand( boxer’s break), and didn’t go to a doctor for any of them. I love having physical strength. I love that in a crisis, we men run toward the danger. No question. I love the male “brotherhood”. It’s real. We rarely hold grudges with fellow men, especially friends. We fight, shake hands, then have a beer.
This is by far the most interesting and original interview I have seen in a while
What a brilliant conversation. Thank you.
This was actually very insightfull on many things,
Post a leaderboard with all the names and the boys will dominate academia.
So true
That’s a pretty good idea. They actually do that at Cambridge University, they post a physical copy of everyone’s results in order of score on the big wooden university door. I think they post it online as well. You get your grade but also your place
I seriously doubt it. Male brains tend to maturate slower vs females.
That's a pipe dream, unfortunately 😁
Except they do this in Japan and the guys do great. But the guys are suicidal.
This was so fascinating.
Fascinating discussion, thank you.
Chris, the topics that you cover are the most important in the current state of things. Your podcast is amazing. Cheers mate!
Big Chris
What a cool podcast, one of my favourite of yours
This is the best educated video I have see on the subject. Give this woman a JOB Never mind she works for Harvard University Please post more of her work. I want to see how the status article comes out.
I've come to several of these conclusions myself and this explains sooooo much of what I've perceived. This is how we are Designed and it works.
This helped me understand women much better. Thank you Joyce.
Amazing podcast. Thanks for the content!!
Bravo 👏. This lady is right on. As a high school teacher I see the differences between boys and girls and how they compete, especially for attention and praise. Men have been creators and workers such as construction. I disagree that "boys never liked school." I did.
I just want to express my gratitude. It was amazing
That was a really tough one to digest. But Thanks to both of You and team that put it together. Amazing insights and Wisdom. ❤️💐👍🏻🙏🏻😃
Alliances with female kin seems to explain why married women have a strong interest in staying near their mothers or lobbying to move back to the same cities or even neighborhoods as their mothers.
Pretty amazing interview. Basically can explain a lot of the changes and structure of society, especially since 1970s where women have had the majority of college degrees. And why there's this huge race to the "pretended" bottom but egalitarian, average, try to eliminate the high achievers because women can't handle it. It's the crabs/lobsters in a bucket syndrome... have to pull the winners down.
My spouse was successful when she worked and quickly became a manager. Many of the women she supervised hated it and were resentful. Of course they we the usually the lower performers. They didn't last long. There was some sexism, but with the men you just had to show them you had the chops and you were accepted.
OTOH, the low performing males were just just that, didn't matter who they worked for. Oh yeah, they didn't last long either, LOL.
Oh good lord
A LOT of women are high achievers, give me a break.
@@MrLuigiFercotti
Ive personally seen this in real time.
1. Older hot red head bully new hot red head because older hot red head is jealous that the boss is sweet on the new girl
2. Young red head makes multiple complaints of "he creep" only to steal his job.
3. Red head comes onto man, he rejects because he's married, red head contacts mans wife with allegations of cheating.
4. (My favorite) Female middle manager accuses collegue of harassment be he is unattractive. She had just found out he had gotten a promotion did want him have the status of other (more handsome) partners.
Fascinating really!
Excellent podcast Chris!