AITA for leaving a dinner party after a girl sat on my husband's lap? Dusty Reads & Reacts!
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AITA for leaving a dinner party after a girl sat on my husband's lap?
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There's an update in the original post, and I'd definitely read it. A few highlights:
-In addition to Jake's friend (Shawn, btw) and Shawn's GF, Cindy was also there with their cousin Derek and his BF.
-Derek is on OP's side; so is SHAWN'S GIRLFRIEND!
-When Derek introduced his BF to the family, Cindy hit on the BF and ROLLED HER EYES when he said that they were uncomfortable. So, Cindy has NO RESPECT for anyone. She just does not care about boundaries.
-MIL is on OP's side. So, there's that at least. You know it's really bad when MIL sides against her son.
-Jake apologized after his mom got involved.
-After all this, they cut contact with Shawn.
Jake is a toolbag. End of story. His mommy had to get involved for him to get it?! Ugh...
thanks for the update!!
It took the husband an hour to realize she was gone? 🚩
Why do people even get married? Once you’ve taken those vows, your spouse is now your immediate family and will always be your top priority.
I was told "that's just how he is" about someone who was sexually inappropriate towards me when I was a child. Cindy and company piss me off! 🤬
Cindy saying I'm sorry you felt insecure it's not an apology. She knew full well what she was doing. And the fact that Jake isn't listening to his wife ...🚩🚩🚩
“They’re like that with everyone” as an excuse for flirting translates to “I like the attention, and I can rationalize it so I don’t feel like I’m cheating”
My husband is almost 8 years older than me. This little girl knows what she's doing. This man knows what he's doing. This is a hard no. Jake is being a dillweed. Cindy is being a thot. OP is not wrong. NTA and he needs a Come to Jesus right quick and in a hurry.
"Jake from the State Penn" was gold!
NTA, Cindy is lucky she didn't stand up, grab her by the ear, and swat her on the backside. "If you are acting like a child as an adult, I'll treat you like a child."
An excellent response I would highly endorse!
EW! Thats such a red flag that a TWENTY-FIVE YEAR OLD MAN is letting an EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD act like that towards him. She knows what she's doing. He knows what she's doing and he doesn't care. GROSS
I think he really likes that attention.... 😮
Kid would have caught these hands....I would have gone to jail that day! Divorce! He doesn't respect her!! Nta!
That "little" girl would have been minus some hair and I would have said and done something every time she was inappropriate. I'm quiet and even tempered most of the time but something like this deserves immediate action. My husband would never disrespect me like this and he hasn't disrespected me in the 45 plus years I've known him.
Cindy needs to learn boundaries... this guy won't say nothing because he LOVES the attention is 18 year old child gives him. Makes him feel desirable.....
Op needs to tell her boundaries. And if he doesn't respect those boundaries. He needs to find another place to lay his head at night. Maybe Cindy will take him in.
Edit:
She's being Gaslit to Hell by these people....
RUNNNNN
She should respond with 'incest bad' when he said shes like a sister to me
Cindy knows what she's doing. OPs husband knows what she's doing. He is keeping his options open by gaslighting his wife.
bingo
Lolita-I mean Cindy would have to catch these hands. Oh yeah, and Jake too. NTA.
OP doesn't deserve to be alone, per se, but she certainly deserves to be free of such toxic gaslighting aholes! If that means she ends up alone, at least it will be a blissfully peaceful solitude.
I would be wondering where Cindy slept that night, when you left the party!
Ok wife left over night comes back and hubby went off like THAT? Makes me think hubby used it as an excuse to leave. And I'm willing to bet with cash he will get with 18 year old once devorce is done. If I'm wrong do be it, OP needs a better partner anyway. May he see your reading of this and all comments.
The husband's ego was inflated when a young woman was flirting with him. He did not say anything at the time because he was lapping up the attention.
That young woman is dangerous!
I've been married for 50 years to the same man. If he had done this, our marriage might not have lasted, certainly not if he 'blamed' me fir taking it wrong.
She’s not a child!!! I was dating a 29 year old when I was 18. BECAUSE I WAS A GROWN WOMAN!! (I’ve now been happily married 40 years😊) My daughter was 18 and her husband was 24 when they met. This is a WOMAN that sat on his lap and the wife needs to realize that anyone that doesn’t see that is toxic.
NTA she’s being CREEPY
Jake may be that defensive and not taking his wife's side because he probably did have an inappropriate relationship with Cindy at some point. She just turned 18, so obviously he will never admit that and it may be the reason he can't(won't) implement or stick to any boundaries with her.
Jake and Cindy are proficient at gaslighting and their target was Jake's wife. She should have left after the first uncomfortable incident that Jake allowed, not wait hours while they continued and became intensely sexual. Jake's a manchild: he clearly knows what her intentions are and because it feeds his ego, he's allowing it. I'd excuse it once not knowing how Cindy "is" with everyone, but it is my home, she's my guest, her behavior is inappropriate, insulting, disrespectful and condescending. OP might want to pay closer attention to her husband's behavior when he's out with just the guys. If he likes, allows and approves of Cindy's attention right in front of his wife, what in the world does he allow when he's in a club or bar with just his buddies? His wife had every reason to leave, but to have to leave your own home because of an inappropriate guest is pathetically sad, esp. when your own husband is part of the problem.
NTA, but Jake sure is, for not keeping Cindy off of him. He's either naive, dumb, or cheating with her.
I don't even know if I can give this dude the benefit of the doubt.
The update is crazy!
The whole situation is inappropriate. Just nope
Cindy is a child, it's fine that they are treating her like a child to a degree, but pretending that she isn't being intentional about what she is doing is ridiculous.
The girl does know what she is doing and should have been confronted about it.
She would have put her foot down about that behavior immediately. Hub is disgusting to do this. Get far away
Ita clear the girl has a crush on the husband but she's still just a teenager. OP didn't have to react like that unless she thinks her husband is open to those advances in a romantic way. It does seem insecure.
I have siblings of both genders us real siblings don’t call either “hot”. And we’ve certainly never called friends we’ve considered siblings hit either. Kudos to yo op, sitting on his laps would’ve immediately brought the 🐾 out ! They aren’t jokes, you’re not insecure and NTA at all.
PLEASE read the update!
Cindy needs to back up! Haha Jake from State Penn!
I just need to know if there is ever an update to this story!
Yes, there is updates. I heard this story not too long ago.
icygubler just posted a summary of the update in the comments.
Copy pasting it here in case it gets buried: There's an update in the original post, and I'd definitely read it. A few highlights:
-In addition to Jake's friend (Shawn, btw) and Shawn's GF, Cindy was also there with their cousin Derek and his BF.
-Derek is on OP's side; so is SHAWN'S GIRLFRIEND!
-When Derek introduced his BF to the family, Cindy hit on the BF and ROLLED HER EYES when he said that they were uncomfortable. So, Cindy has NO RESPECT for anyone. She just does not care about boundaries.
-MIL is on OP's side. So, there's that at least. You know it's really bad when MIL sides against her son.
-Jake apologized after his mom got involved.
-After all this, they cut contact with Shawn.@@death2boredom338
Cindy was definitely obsessed, but was clearly out of line. But no one had ever put a stop to her bad behavior and Jake is too stupid to understand that this is not okay. So much disrespect and no one saying a word. But now, it's probably too late and divorce is probably your best option.
So, was Jake intending to get a young something-something on the side? If not, then he should've done damage control a long time ago.
It's not enough to call out your partner for bad behavior, but you have to call out yourself. Jake clearly either didnt understand the concept or dgaf.
Either way, OP is better off without a partner who doesn't respect the boundaries of his own relationship, let alone a partner who demands those boundaries never be respected.
Jake can be immature with Cindy and OP can leave that nonsense behind.
I read this one and left a comment super weird story
I could understand if the wife were a little bit annoyed, but this is way over the top. It’s a kid being a little bit flirtatious. The husband told her to stop. It wasn’t that big of a deal. She should’ve just rolled her eyes and brushed it off. She’s being way over sensitive about the whole thing.
💛
Okay, first off, even if he apologized, I'd toss him. A seven year gap and this started when she wasn't even able to drive legally.
Second, she's been doing this shit since she was fifteen? Especially considering the age gaps between her and the guys she "targets"... that's a massive red flag that something is really wrong. I hope I'm wrong, and I admit to the armchair diagnosis, here, but it sounds like hypersexuality from abuse. I'd be asking Cindy's brother a lot of very pointed questions, especially if HE'S angry at OP over her reaction.