FBI/CIA Agents, What’s Something That You Can Tell Us Without Killing Us? (r/AskReddit)

AskReddit FBI/CIA Agents Share Top Secret Information That They Can't Tell Us Otherwise.
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Thanks for watching guys ;)

[@angelsosa5903]

85% of classified info is useless but what about that 15% thats what keep me up at night lol

[@fbibase2835]

I once saw a mad scientist turn himself into a pickle, funniest shit I had ever seen.

[@harrymack3565]

Imagine at the end of one of them just says, "Sike I have to kill for this one." And then your phone explodes.

[@noahhodges7697]

A relative of mine is a desk jockey in the military and said that everything they use is marked with a sticker that shows its security clearance level. Obviously, only certain people can access things as they get higher in classification, but anyone can classify anything to any level just by slapping the appropriate sticker on it. The funny thing with this is that while it's easy to classify something, it's a nightmare and a half to declassify even the most mundane things. He told me that if he ever got kicked out of the military for something stupid, he would spend his last day slapping top-level classification stickers on everything just to screw over everyone else in that department by preventing them legal access to their everyday work devices.

[@pythonanywhere3392]

I'm now on a list. Too bad they'll have to monitor my teletubbies addiction, and my 5 mph over the speed limit driving habits.

[@acid3129]

My dad was a delivery driver who would deliver the water cooler bottles to offices he had to have a 6 month background check that included me and my brothers and sisters also being looked into. All because he deliverd to a nuclear submarine refitting base once a month. He had security clearance to enter some really secure places all to put a water bottle in a cooler and walk away 2 armed guards the whole time he said it was like transporting a million dollar diamond

[@D64nz]

Knew a guy that was an officer in the Navy. He ran into the problem of being out promoted for his security clearance. His immediate superior retired, but at the same time that persons superior also had to leave due to medical issues. A full background check took a couple of months so officially he wasn't allowed in his own office while waiting for the clearance to go through, and to be in his office a strobing light would go off all day to signify to the others in the office that someone without proper clearance was in his room.

[@Polymathically]

My grandma's next door neighbor worked for the government, and was stationed in Hokkaido during the 1960s. He was never allowed to talk about what he did out there. I'm also currently taking a college course in Remote Sensing, which deals with satellite imagery. My professor has mentioned a few times that he worked for the government back in the 1970s, when Landsat and other tech was being implemented. He refers to government work as "going Dark Side." He's really laid-back, you'd never expect that he'd be involved with that kind of thing, but it makes sense given his age and expertise. I was in the banking industry for about 20 years, and part of that time involved handling operations at a bank branch that happened to be within walking distance of a FBI field office. Every once in a while, an agent would come in to get money off of a government-issued card. They were always plainclothes agents, but they were dressed a little

[@cmcphotography1]

Guys, why is there a red dot on my forehead?

[@everyone4352]

Possible real life plot twist: FBIs aren't allowed to tell anyone about their work so curious people would work hard to get recruited.

[@flamingwheel9926]

CIA/FBI in movies:

[@PhantomSavage]

"Do I get a cool badge?"

[@10cody7]

7:50

[@Kirhean]

On the point about Bond:

[@nocsha4119]

My grandfather also had random men in suits show up to his funeral, also he got buried in a military graveyard in Boston, he never served in the military.

[@_JustAnotherKid__]

That nobody out pizzas the hut.

[@Stormcat1]

In my childhood, my Best Friend's Mom was an FBI agent. She worked Vice Squad. Apparently, there is /was a big Meth Problem out in Utah, and there were reports of Mormon Housewives getting together to cook meth at one of their houses. The news certainly made the Book Club more interested, but no further information could be given.

[@eclipse-rx8me]

My best friend (consider him a bother) of almost 15 years was a pilot in the special ops (army) and has gov clearance, I asked him one day what it was like working in that area of the military and he told me "I can't tell you anything but I can tell you is that if shit was to ever hit the fan in the world, you and your family are okay" not sure what that means but it makes me wonder lol

[@agent_w.]

“that we killed JFK”

[@goe5]

I remember applying to DARPA years ago. The qualifications were intense, including once you make your online account, you have to change your password every 5 days. I’m definitely not smart enough to do that lol