Just last night I asked out this beautiful bartender Ive gotten to know. I said to her, " I think you are amazing and I would love to meet up for a coffee sometime." It literally just came out of my mouth, it was exactly what I was feeling in the moment. I got a "hmmm, maybe" response, and I just smiled at her and said nothing. She then mentions she doesnt drink coffee and I responded "Great, well we can meet up for beers, even better" A customer walked up and she went back to work, as if nothing happened. I didnt get a yes but I showed up as a man. I enjoyed the rest of my evening with no embarrasment or nervousness felt. So what she didnt say yes, I showed up as a man. A little peek into my life to understand you arent the only ones out there going thru this. Keep working on you. Cheers!
Awesome stuff! And if you go back and stay open, light, playful, and free with her, you might just end up with the date down the line. Just don't get attached to outcome or too focused on this one girl if you do choose to keep interacting with her.
Wow thanks for the story this inspires me to talk to a cute girl at the store who smiles at people. I was little nervous at first when I would enter cause I felt like i was a stalker, but now reading this makes me want to pursue her and see what happens. If don't do anything I might regret ti later.
Brian the information you give is amazing , and worth its weight in gold ! You are one of the best teachers I’ve heard on this subject. I realize this was one of my biggest issues , I’ve always avoiding tension , in every area of my life
You never mention it when you take exemples, but tension is the basis of harmonies and chords in music, I studied that when I learned jazz. Tension - Resolution, that's what you hear every time without paying attention when you listen to music... It took me time to catch you but now I really understand and enjoy it, thanks Brian!
There's so much truth to this. Back before listening to this channel, I despised the tension and would try to rush it as quickly as possible. I would go out by myself and tell myself I would meet new people. The tension prevented me from approaching anyone. I clearly put out a vibe not to approach me either so if someone did talk to me it was either the bartender or some old dude sitting next to me. I went out by myself for the first time since embracing tension with one goal, meet new people. The results were instantly different. Most people said hi to me before I even had the chance. It was unexpected but awesome.
CONFIDENCE IN CONFLICT - AWESOME This is the best advice I have ever heard and have always known that its super important to really "feel" that connection. Its also quite addictive and you start to seek situations where you can create tension. Also if you do this properly you will give the girl an experience she will not forget and get her chasing you. Craving you even more HOLD YOUR GROUND UNDER TENSION - FEEL IT, EMBRACE IT AND LEARN TO LOVE IT
It's our dang egos causing the fear. This puts you in your head. Fearless is truly a great name for this company. If men were truly fearless we would connect with women so easily. Women can feel when your not there , present w them. That is the secret . Be real, no game persona where you are acting different.
This is some of the best content on TH-cam, definitively one of the most underwatched channels I've encountered. Do you have any tips for how to deal with social anxiety and being overly self-concious?
Thanks for the awesome compliment. Watch through this playlist...and get out there and practice! "Build Confidence with Women & Socially: Starter Course" th-cam.com/video/NI7RlN07-to/w-d-xo.html
Amazing that this guy just "happens" to come into my life and he also knows of Neville goddards teachings. This is the only teacher who has truly improved my ability to connect
9:32 This is really important and it's a big mistake I made with a friend of mine. If you push a little too hard, you can potentially damage or even destroy a friendship. I also did this with a few others just to see what would happen and I dug a bit too far and ended up making them cry and that made me realize, holy shit I need to back off just a bit. So there is always a balance, some people can handle a lot of tension while other people have a limit and you gotta respect it.
Can you do a video on how to let go of bitterness and resentment of women not having to do any work on themselves for the most part to be in high demand, whereas me as a guy I have to do this perfect little dance and aaaaaall this inner and outer work to be desirable. I’m having a tough time w that one and I want to not only accept this concept but embrace it so I can finally be a winner. Thank you Brian, I’m getting a lot of value from your work.
Man, I am pleasantly surprised in watching this video. I am subscribed to you, but don't watch your videos very often. I decided to watch one of your videos today and man am I happy I did. These are the kind of quality videos I love man. The kind where I'm just watching it and little epiphanies keep going off in my head because of what you are saying. Having found this type of stuff around 3 years ago, it is hard to come by new ideas that make me get excited. Fucking great job man, keep making quality stuff like this.
The Fearless Man Right now, my biggest problem is letting my true personality through with women I like. I feel as though I am holding back my true personality.
Seeing how you asked to share our experiences, I thought fuck it. I'll tell you. About a year ago I found myself in a situation where all my coworkers were women. That was right around the time I came across and started to apply what FEARLESS has to offer. I started applying stepping into tension and just enjoying the ladies. Now mind you, I live in the Netherlands. The country statistically known for having the tallest men on earth. I myself am 170cm, that's something like 5"7 I believe. That used to destroy my confidence when my mind went into this direction. Still, the women didn't care, as long as I was grounded and enjoying the tension. I had so many instances where I would just stay there, only say "Hi" or "You're looking especially hot today" and they'd melt a bit. The eye contact used to be solid. I could see it in their eyes and feel the attraction that went both ways. I was learning to enjoy it and it was great fun. Eventually, I caved and one of them became my girlfriend. We had a highly dysfunctional relation for about a year. Everything I learned flew out of the window. At some point I had to end it, because it was just horrible. I did learn that I still have a long ways to go when it comes to my confidence and paradigm shift in some areas. I learned that I am far more insecure than I'd like to admit. Thank god for FEARLESS. I know that with your guidance I can find my way back and beyond and become the man I want and deserve to be. I want to end this post by saying thank you to the FEARLESS team and Brian himself. You guys give us lost boys hope. And to the guys who are about embark on this journey and having a real hard time: Don't give up. Keep going. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, eventhough sometimes it is not visible. This journey isn't about attracting women, in my view. That is a natural byproduct when you're becoming the best version of you. PS FEARLESS please come to Amsterdam again. I'd love to go to one of your seminars. I did however just start my own business. Who knows, maybe I'll soon have the bank to join you in Romania or the States. Sure would love to. Keep it up! You're helping people.
Good stuff. This tension dynamics is a skill to develop, best of all is that it’s true that is as useful to flirting girls as to general interactions with people.
This is me to a T. My whole life is avoiding tension with people. I rush through it or avoid it. I always have. It's funny in some other areas, I pile on the tension. But with people, I panic and run. I have felt women being into me. It puts me on my heels and by the time I have got my bearings they have already gotten tired of trying and checked out. I felt that happen yesterday. Today it changes, a little bit. Today I start to swim. Not the butterfly, more like a doggie paddle. More like doggystyle. oh snap, I went there. Thanks these are really great!
Great stuff. It's like a triple win. You take away the energy of worry and use it as fuel to create masculine energy and to solve problems. Once you get this its compelling, to you and those around you.
Hey man, the previous advice you gave me about writing in my journal. It's really hard to keep up because I work alot and by the time I think I have something to write down, I fall asleep & I'm up for the next day! As for today's subject, i I don't think I'm too shy from women. I believe I'm over cautious of approaching women because I have met a lot of women as you know who were very defensive and most of the time disrespectful even when I gave them a positive compliment or just said hello. it does feel like that I'm jumping into a shark tank just to talk to women nowadays because I don't know if they're in a good mood or a bad mood and some just don't appreciate a guy approaching them that shows some type of Interest.
I'm in an odd place when it comes to this. I was the biggest "nice guy" ever, I never got what I wanted and was used by women and people in general. I learned to stop being the nice guy, but at the same time I don't think I "became" something else. I stopped being used by other people, I'm not trying to please people, but I still don't get what I want. It's a fucking weird place to be, at least I knew what I was before and wasn't so lonely, even if it sucked. Thanks to this advice I'll focus on "building tension" in general and see what happens.
Hi, amazing channel u are the man! Here is my problem. I'm fine when I see girls in bars at approaching but when I see women on street corners I find it impossible to approach confidently. My mind is subconsiously over thinking stuff and it creates a problem with being natural. I dont even know what the thoughts are, they are things that may be impacting my body and my mood. Some it is like "I'm bothering her she's walking and doesn't want to be stopped in street," or "I'm a weird guy and I'll make her awkward," (I have Aspergers and this is something that tends to happen to me socially a lot) or "This is not a natural place to meet people this feels like I am a street salesman," "One she knows me and my lifestyle she'll think I'm an oddball,". I am trying to work on my diet, fitness and change my job at the moment which may boost my endorphins and positivity. However until I sort those things out, in a situation such as the street, how would u suggest I step into tension? Do u have a process of doing so to meet women in these situations, out of bars/clubs related only to the streets? I've tried things like asking for directions and for the time to random people to build up to the more direct approaches but it's draining doing that every time. FYI I'm not exactly in a great position on the woman front at the moment but would love your insight into how u would step into tension in this situation. Thanks
Question, there's been a handful of times where I actually was able to be fully present in the tension with a woman, I was fully comfortable and naturally charming and witty. However, after some rejections that crushed me, ever since then, getting that mojo back has been a difficult climb. Anyone else relate?
Loved the video, especially the exercise. Yeah, why not just practice while you're walking around anyway. I'm currently working on increasing my capacity for intensity by way of relaxation/spaciousness.
Great video Brian. I love how you have so much good content. And it’s that good kind of male advice that’s not fake and gimmicky. It’s based on the masculine polarity, which I like. Just wondering do you teach authenticity? Do you teach that men should always come with their most authentic intentions? I know your stuff is on the legit side of things (I found you from a video talking about David Deida third stage man 👍), but I ask because a guy could easily go up and deliver the pause, stand in the tension, and tell the chick how stunned he is by the color of her eyes, when really he might not give 1 fuck about her eyes, and these tactics could still be used fakely to an extent. I just think authenticity is super important and is something we as men should take responsibility for stewarding, so I didn’t know if that was something you’ve actively talked about. Thanks again for all the great content.
I'm very thankfull for all the material... the good news are that I am slowly starting to step into tension, and aproach women, but for now I'm not feeling relaxed so I stop the conversation and walk out of there before I get any results... I guess its a start. I'm usually settling for girls that I know and that are interested in me, and letting them take too much Initiative... in the past I was also steping into situations that were too much for me and the fear was always present, but I was overcoming it... that didn't work either. I am thankfull for the truth. I know what I must do If I want to be happy... you've allready given so much information, but I think that you should give some specific examples on conversations inside the tension and learning to relax in it. Cause you have such beautifull eyes, the easier part. where do you go from there? I find it really hard to lead the conversation when I'm under preasure. I think I found one video on conversations, but I lost it. thanks again, and this is a great thing that you're doing. So esential and just what most people need.
this is great and makes a lot of sense, but what you said about "feeling a girls limits" - i can sense when someone is in to me or not but i can also sense when a girl is emotionally damaged and shut down from a past relationship. Whats your thoughts? Leave it alone or see what you can do to bring back those emotions she once had?
Hey awesome video, my question is, is there stages or levels to tension building that you naturally unfold into? I Would love a video on this! For me I've noticed that most woman I build tension with I can handle it and play with so that we both have fun but every now and then there is woman who really gets it and starts playing with me and then i get nervous, if that makes sense Ps love the fearless channel only the confident really live
You don't actually have to build tension, as a man your role is actually more about grounding the tension. You can play with is as Brian discusses but mainly you are grounding and containing (not controlling) her and her feminine will play in that space. You can push tension as well when you feel it but when she's feeling free and open she'll take care of all of that and you can ground it. You don't want to compete with her. Even with banter, you want to have grounding. - Andrew, TFM Team
@@TheFearlessMan Its been a couple weeks now and I feel really good with myself, thanks to these videos I've been paying attention to my feelings and I'm able to ground like you guys say. I'm no longer scared of feeling and I actually love to feel nervous with a women I'm still learning buy hopefully I can meet you guys in person at a live event
This is the missing link there are books explaining about everything, everything but nobody mention this.everything else has power with tension but without tension that's the "why" doesn´t work
Great video. Would you at least concede the point that with all the stuff about tension and feelings that men have been forced to step into an area that women are naturally better at?
Great video! Love your advice. After rejection could you do a video about how to keep tension over text/snapchat? In this age, that will be useful for after we got her number. Thanks!
You're setting yourself up to be at a disadvantage. Unless you and a woman are already dating and seeing each other, then the phone should only be used to set up a date. Otherwise what incentive does she have to see you ?
Use a tension journal: How to Build Confidence Meeting & Approaching Women - Tension Journal | Inside FEARLESS #9 th-cam.com/video/GdZ7KN3q520/w-d-xo.html
Okay, I like the videos. I feel I am practicing these I don't want to call them techniques cause it makes it seem like a skill or something along those lines but I need serious help. Every woman I have ever approached has fun or at least I think has fun chatting with me so I ask for their number or to go out etc. but always get ghosted or it seems to go stale. I am not sure if it's my approach or execution but I need help bad. If you still respond to these please I would appreciate some tips to be better. I have hooked up with older women to change my game up and it worked for a while, I just want a woman I can actually have a future with. The older women tell me all the time you're so loving you need to find a nice girl your age and if I was 25 I would snatch you up blah etc. the thing is women my age don't ever continue to accept my advances. I'll continue further but I would like to see first if you still see these comments and respond to them.
How do your interactions with women go? Give me a better picture of how you're being with women and how they're being with you. TH-cam doesn't notify me of replies so submit your question with more detail here: thefearlessman.com/askbrian
off topic but on dating my girlfriend likes dancing especially Latin style im latino but i cant dance my friends a very good dancer and when we go to tbe club she stares like its magical . one time i was at a outside bar with music and this guy was dancing some type if latin style he grabs one of my girlfriends friend and starts to dance after the round my girlfriend gives me here bag and jumps in excitement to have a quik dance with him .with that situation happening should i be jealous or indifferent how should i handle that situation like a superior man ? p.s in mexican she italian we were in italy at the time
I can read which women are open to being talked to and jump into an interaction with them, but I am interested in the tension with the women that have their bitch guards up but the interaction can go side ways quick where they get extremely rude and derogatory not to mention insulting. If a man was treating them this way and bunch of white Knights or other women would jump in and help them but when a women acts rude and derogatory towards a man it seems accepted by others in the public. The only option I have is to walk away but how would you break the ice? I have tried humor but if she is not interested in or willing to invest in the interaction and just wants you to go away there is nothing I can do. Is there a way? I know many women if they are not open to you it is almost impossible unless they come from some type of service industry training that they have to learn to be respectful to everyone because their tip depends on it. What are your thoughts?
Rich A Heyy,don't know if you care for advice from women..but here's my opinion: try and figure out if she's "open" to you. That thing is true,I can figure out really fast if I don't want anything to do with a guy,and from that point on,anything he does is useless. Easiest way if you don't know: ask her politely(by politely,I mean be respectful but keep your dignity).If she rejects you,keep your calm,tell her something along the lines of "Hey,too bad,but have a nice day" and leave. Never apologize for asking someone out or if they're interested.
God, this is rather exhausting. I have NO social sense for the most part. I think I may be on the Arsperger's spectrum... How in the hell do you create TENSION with words? I have a good eye game, but I guess that comes back to the lack of social sense. I've gotten better about going down to my core and feeling the moment, but I do not understand the fundamentals to verbal tension. P.S. I'm introverted, as well. Gotta love living in an extroverted world.
Tension is life, my friend. www.thefearlessman.com/dont-get-stress-out-of-your-life-change-your-relationship-to-stress-becoming-fearless/ www.thefearlessman.com/stress-is-a-form-of-tension/
this isnt well articulated advice. i get the point you're trying to make, but it relies on a number of fallacies that can skew the message. starting with tension, or stress. If a situation is stressful, you cannot expect one to magically enjoy it. you cannot enjoy something uncomfortable at will. I do agree that one must face stressful situations to grow, but the key to doing this is patience, and controlling your emotions. Its ok to not enjoy uncomfortable things. just because something is stressful, does not mean that it will stimulate growth. I think this point is the most important, because though you did say that being aware is important, you did not mention that people should be aware of stressful situations that can stimulate or hinder growth. i like the message overall, but i think you should care more about the little details so people dont fall into traps jumping head first into stressful situations.
It covered everything. Handling tension/stress IS handing your reaction/emotions about it. And he never said to jump headfirst into stressful situations. He specifically said to go just a little further into tension at a time, such as asking a woman for the time, or asking for a discount at a store. How this comment got 5 likes is beyond me.
I get soo lost listening to this guy. He sounds like something I'd listen to to go to sleep. Furthermore, who enjoys tension? Who really wants to be in a tense situation of any kind. It just makes absolutely no sense to me and nothing or no one can make me understand it. I like shit at it's most simple, easiest form and I don't like trying to find every way under the sun to make a connection. Why can't a man see a woman he's attracted to, say something to her and show his interest, and if she's attracted you go from there. Simple. Not a 500 point checklist of am I standing right, am I breathing right, am I creating enough tension, am I not creating enough tension, where is she looking, what is she doing, which ear did she put her hair behind, make sure you be yourself, make sure you don't be yourself, it's just too fuckin much. I'm exhausted just thinking about everything you have to be cognizant of, to the point where I wouldn't even wanna talk.
Its because you are in your head. When a person is so trained the wrong way like most guys then yeah it seems complicated. But when you learn it and own it it becomes just as natural and as simple as you want. Do you think about what foot you put first when you get up to walk? Do you decide which hand youre going to write with when you pick up a pen? So why would it be any different once you reprogram yourself on interactions with women? It seems like alot of work but its not your fault you have the wrong idea on connecting with women but you have to take it in your own hands and change it. Its worth it!
I think you are a good coach but 2 things just ruin your pitch... 1 is you should not swear and use foul language... 2 dont get caught in the details and get to the point using pointless examples is useless because you talk so much trying to get your points across it just confuses even more.
Just last night I asked out this beautiful bartender Ive gotten to know. I said to her, " I think you are amazing and I would love to meet up for a coffee sometime."
It literally just came out of my mouth, it was exactly what I was feeling in the moment.
I got a "hmmm, maybe" response, and I just smiled at her and said nothing.
She then mentions she doesnt drink coffee and I responded "Great, well we can meet up for beers, even better"
A customer walked up and she went back to work, as if nothing happened.
I didnt get a yes but I showed up as a man. I enjoyed the rest of my evening with no embarrasment or nervousness felt. So what she didnt say yes, I showed up as a man.
A little peek into my life to understand you arent the only ones out there going thru this. Keep working on you. Cheers!
Awesome stuff! And if you go back and stay open, light, playful, and free with her, you might just end up with the date down the line. Just don't get attached to outcome or too focused on this one girl if you do choose to keep interacting with her.
Wow thanks for the story this inspires me to talk to a cute girl at the store who smiles at people. I was little nervous at first when I would enter cause I felt like i was a stalker, but now reading this makes me want to pursue her and see what happens. If don't do anything I might regret ti later.
Marlo Tañan
Nice man! You shot your shot and owned it even if you didn't get a yes.
Brian the information you give is amazing , and worth its weight in gold ! You are one of the best teachers I’ve heard on this subject. I realize this was one of my biggest issues , I’ve always avoiding tension , in every area of my life
You never mention it when you take exemples, but tension is the basis of harmonies and chords in music, I studied that when I learned jazz.
Tension - Resolution, that's what you hear every time without paying attention when you listen to music...
It took me time to catch you but now I really understand and enjoy it, thanks Brian!
There's so much truth to this. Back before listening to this channel, I despised the tension and would try to rush it as quickly as possible. I would go out by myself and tell myself I would meet new people. The tension prevented me from approaching anyone. I clearly put out a vibe not to approach me either so if someone did talk to me it was either the bartender or some old dude sitting next to me.
I went out by myself for the first time since embracing tension with one goal, meet new people. The results were instantly different. Most people said hi to me before I even had the chance. It was unexpected but awesome.
CONFIDENCE IN CONFLICT - AWESOME
This is the best advice I have ever heard and have always known that its super important to really "feel" that connection. Its also quite addictive and you start to seek situations where you can create tension. Also if you do this properly you will give the girl an experience she will not forget and get her chasing you. Craving you even more
HOLD YOUR GROUND UNDER TENSION - FEEL IT, EMBRACE IT AND LEARN TO LOVE IT
Well said-glad this resonates. Thanks for the comment!
It's our dang egos causing the fear. This puts you in your head. Fearless is truly a great name for this company. If men were truly fearless we would connect with women so easily. Women can feel when your not there , present w them. That is the secret . Be real, no game persona where you are acting different.
This is some of the best content on TH-cam, definitively one of the most underwatched channels I've encountered. Do you have any tips for how to deal with social anxiety and being overly self-concious?
Thanks for the awesome compliment. Watch through this playlist...and get out there and practice! "Build Confidence with Women & Socially: Starter Course" th-cam.com/video/NI7RlN07-to/w-d-xo.html
great reflection. no one else is talking about this. no one else even realizes this makes a difference in a conversation
Amazing that this guy just "happens" to come into my life and he also knows of Neville goddards teachings. This is the only teacher who has truly improved my ability to connect
9:32 This is really important and it's a big mistake I made with a friend of mine. If you push a little too hard, you can potentially damage or even destroy a friendship. I also did this with a few others just to see what would happen and I dug a bit too far and ended up making them cry and that made me realize, holy shit I need to back off just a bit. So there is always a balance, some people can handle a lot of tension while other people have a limit and you gotta respect it.
Can you do a video on how to let go of bitterness and resentment of women not having to do any work on themselves for the most part to be in high demand, whereas me as a guy I have to do this perfect little dance and aaaaaall this inner and outer work to be desirable.
I’m having a tough time w that one and I want to not only accept this concept but embrace it so I can finally be a winner.
Thank you Brian, I’m getting a lot of value from your work.
Man, I am pleasantly surprised in watching this video. I am subscribed to you, but don't watch your videos very often. I decided to watch one of your videos today and man am I happy I did. These are the kind of quality videos I love man. The kind where I'm just watching it and little epiphanies keep going off in my head because of what you are saying. Having found this type of stuff around 3 years ago, it is hard to come by new ideas that make me get excited. Fucking great job man, keep making quality stuff like this.
Great compliment! Thanks. What are you working on?
The Fearless Man Right now, my biggest problem is letting my true personality through with women I like. I feel as though I am holding back my true personality.
Seeing how you asked to share our experiences, I thought fuck it. I'll tell you. About a year ago I found myself in a situation where all my coworkers were women. That was right around the time I came across and started to apply what FEARLESS has to offer. I started applying stepping into tension and just enjoying the ladies. Now mind you, I live in the Netherlands. The country statistically known for having the tallest men on earth. I myself am 170cm, that's something like 5"7 I believe. That used to destroy my confidence when my mind went into this direction. Still, the women didn't care, as long as I was grounded and enjoying the tension. I had so many instances where I would just stay there, only say "Hi" or "You're looking especially hot today" and they'd melt a bit. The eye contact used to be solid. I could see it in their eyes and feel the attraction that went both ways. I was learning to enjoy it and it was great fun. Eventually, I caved and one of them became my girlfriend. We had a highly dysfunctional relation for about a year. Everything I learned flew out of the window. At some point I had to end it, because it was just horrible. I did learn that I still have a long ways to go when it comes to my confidence and paradigm shift in some areas. I learned that I am far more insecure than I'd like to admit. Thank god for FEARLESS. I know that with your guidance I can find my way back and beyond and become the man I want and deserve to be.
I want to end this post by saying thank you to the FEARLESS team and Brian himself. You guys give us lost boys hope. And to the guys who are about embark on this journey and having a real hard time: Don't give up. Keep going. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, eventhough sometimes it is not visible. This journey isn't about attracting women, in my view. That is a natural byproduct when you're becoming the best version of you.
PS FEARLESS please come to Amsterdam again. I'd love to go to one of your seminars. I did however just start my own business. Who knows, maybe I'll soon have the bank to join you in Romania or the States. Sure would love to. Keep it up! You're helping people.
Good stuff sir, very clearly. Thank you sir. I watched in the past but now I can understand.
great information
Good stuff. This tension dynamics is a skill to develop, best of all is that it’s true that is as useful to flirting girls as to general interactions with people.
It's super important throughout life!
"Tenzija uvek postoji" - Marko Majstorovic
This is me to a T. My whole life is avoiding tension with people. I rush through it or avoid it. I always have. It's funny in some other areas, I pile on the tension. But with people, I panic and run. I have felt women being into me. It puts me on my heels and by the time I have got my bearings they have already gotten tired of trying and checked out. I felt that happen yesterday. Today it changes, a little bit. Today I start to swim. Not the butterfly, more like a doggie paddle. More like doggystyle. oh snap, I went there. Thanks these are really great!
Love to hear the video is helping!
My all quarantene learning how to be a fearless man, thank you
We need to be able to practice it as well.
Great stuff. It's like a triple win. You take away the energy of worry and use it as fuel to create masculine energy and to solve problems. Once you get this its compelling, to you and those around you.
I WAS AVOIDING TENSION WITH WOMAN.
I LOVE THE CONCEPT YOU SAY ABOUT DOING THINGS BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO.
NOT AVOIDING IT.
Great info - Thanks
Fantastic video and sooo spot on.
Great stuff!
Thanks!
Zen Masters approach to dating!
Hey man, the previous advice you gave me about writing in my journal. It's really hard to keep up because I work alot and by the time I think I have something to write down, I fall asleep & I'm up for the next day! As for today's subject, i I don't think I'm too shy from women. I believe I'm over cautious of approaching women because I have met a lot of women as you know who were very defensive and most of the time disrespectful even when I gave them a positive compliment or just said hello. it does feel like that I'm jumping into a shark tank just to talk to women nowadays because I don't know if they're in a good mood or a bad mood and some just don't appreciate a guy approaching them that shows some type of Interest.
I'm in an odd place when it comes to this. I was the biggest "nice guy" ever, I never got what I wanted and was used by women and people in general. I learned to stop being the nice guy, but at the same time I don't think I "became" something else. I stopped being used by other people, I'm not trying to please people, but I still don't get what I want.
It's a fucking weird place to be, at least I knew what I was before and wasn't so lonely, even if it sucked. Thanks to this advice I'll focus on "building tension" in general and see what happens.
great stuff Brian!! extremely great content. thanks!
Hey I really like your videos and appreciate your in depth please keep them going!
Hi, amazing channel u are the man! Here is my problem. I'm fine when I see girls in bars at approaching but when I see women on street corners I find it impossible to approach confidently. My mind is subconsiously over thinking stuff and it creates a problem with being natural. I dont even know what the thoughts are, they are things that may be impacting my body and my mood. Some it is like "I'm bothering her she's walking and doesn't want to be stopped in street," or "I'm a weird guy and I'll make her awkward," (I have Aspergers and this is something that tends to happen to me socially a lot) or "This is not a natural place to meet people this feels like I am a street salesman," "One she knows me and my lifestyle she'll think I'm an oddball,". I am trying to work on my diet, fitness and change my job at the moment which may boost my endorphins and positivity.
However until I sort those things out, in a situation such as the street, how would u suggest I step into tension? Do u have a process of doing so to meet women in these situations, out of bars/clubs related only to the streets? I've tried things like asking for directions and for the time to random people to build up to the more direct approaches but it's draining doing that every time. FYI I'm not exactly in a great position on the woman front at the moment but would love your insight into how u would step into tension in this situation. Thanks
Start with the tension journal: www.thefearlessman.com/do-this-exercise-everyday-for-30-days/
Thank U ...Awesome!
Question, there's been a handful of times where I actually was able to be fully present in the tension with a woman, I was fully comfortable and naturally charming and witty. However, after some rejections that crushed me, ever since then, getting that mojo back has been a difficult climb. Anyone else relate?
Loved the video, especially the exercise. Yeah, why not just practice while you're walking around anyway. I'm currently working on increasing my capacity for intensity by way of relaxation/spaciousness.
Great video Brian. I love how you have so much good content. And it’s that good kind of male advice that’s not fake and gimmicky. It’s based on the masculine polarity, which I like. Just wondering do you teach authenticity? Do you teach that men should always come with their most authentic intentions? I know your stuff is on the legit side of things (I found you from a video talking about David Deida third stage man 👍), but I ask because a guy could easily go up and deliver the pause, stand in the tension, and tell the chick how stunned he is by the color of her eyes, when really he might not give 1 fuck about her eyes, and these tactics could still be used fakely to an extent. I just think authenticity is super important and is something we as men should take responsibility for stewarding, so I didn’t know if that was something you’ve actively talked about. Thanks again for all the great content.
I'm very thankfull for all the material... the good news are that I am slowly starting to step into tension, and aproach women, but for now I'm not feeling relaxed so I stop the conversation and walk out of there before I get any results... I guess its a start. I'm usually settling for girls that I know and that are interested in me, and letting them take too much Initiative... in the past I was also steping into situations that were too much for me and the fear was always present, but I was overcoming it... that didn't work either. I am thankfull for the truth. I know what I must do If I want to be happy... you've allready given so much information, but I think that you should give some specific examples on conversations inside the tension and learning to relax in it. Cause you have such beautifull eyes, the easier part. where do you go from there? I find it really hard to lead the conversation when I'm under preasure. I think I found one video on conversations, but I lost it. thanks again, and this is a great thing that you're doing. So esential and just what most people need.
I see you found the video you were looking for. Keep working on it!
This is beautiful, I enjoy it so much... " Enjoy doing" 😎
Please talk more about gut feeling
Im very thankfull for the real great advice. no bs just real shit where we can work with
mind blowing change my approach
this is great and makes a lot of sense, but what you said about "feeling a girls limits" - i can sense when someone is in to me or not but i can also sense when a girl is emotionally damaged and shut down from a past relationship. Whats your thoughts? Leave it alone or see what you can do to bring back those emotions she once had?
So what does tension look like in a interaction... make a video on it, would be cool
Hey awesome video, my question is, is there stages or levels to tension building that you naturally unfold into? I Would love a video on this!
For me I've noticed that most woman I build tension with I can handle it and play with so that we both have fun but every now and then there is woman who really gets it and starts playing with me and then i get nervous, if that makes sense
Ps love the fearless channel only the confident really live
You don't actually have to build tension, as a man your role is actually more about grounding the tension. You can play with is as Brian discusses but mainly you are grounding and containing (not controlling) her and her feminine will play in that space. You can push tension as well when you feel it but when she's feeling free and open she'll take care of all of that and you can ground it. You don't want to compete with her. Even with banter, you want to have grounding. - Andrew, TFM Team
@@TheFearlessMan Its been a couple weeks now and I feel really good with myself, thanks to these videos I've been paying attention to my feelings and I'm able to ground like you guys say. I'm no longer scared of feeling and I actually love to feel nervous with a women I'm still learning buy hopefully I can meet you guys in person at a live event
please do a video with more depth of tension in relationships with women.
This is the missing link there are books explaining about everything, everything but nobody mention this.everything else has power with tension but without tension that's the "why" doesn´t work
do you know any books that I can read if I want to learn more about tension and how to get better at dealing with it?
Great video. Would you at least concede the point that with all the stuff about tension and feelings that men have been forced to step into an area that women are naturally better at?
Great video! Love your advice. After rejection could you do a video about how to keep tension over text/snapchat? In this age, that will be useful for after we got her number. Thanks!
You're setting yourself up to be at a disadvantage. Unless you and a woman are already dating and seeing each other, then the phone should only be used to set up a date. Otherwise what incentive does she have to see you ?
Not a bad idea-I don't use snapchat, but I'll add the texting part to the list.
You do want to set up the date, but sometimes women require more connection by text after they meet you before they're ready for the date.
I would like to see you do a video on why some women put up a Bitch Shield, and how to get past it or prevent it altogether.
oldest talk about tension is good but how can I use it and learn about it in a practical way
Use a tension journal: How to Build Confidence Meeting & Approaching Women - Tension Journal | Inside FEARLESS #9 th-cam.com/video/GdZ7KN3q520/w-d-xo.html
Okay, I like the videos. I feel I am practicing these I don't want to call them techniques cause it makes it seem like a skill or something along those lines but I need serious help. Every woman I have ever approached has fun or at least I think has fun chatting with me so I ask for their number or to go out etc. but always get ghosted or it seems to go stale. I am not sure if it's my approach or execution but I need help bad. If you still respond to these please I would appreciate some tips to be better. I have hooked up with older women to change my game up and it worked for a while, I just want a woman I can actually have a future with. The older women tell me all the time you're so loving you need to find a nice girl your age and if I was 25 I would snatch you up blah etc. the thing is women my age don't ever continue to accept my advances. I'll continue further but I would like to see first if you still see these comments and respond to them.
How do your interactions with women go? Give me a better picture of how you're being with women and how they're being with you. TH-cam doesn't notify me of replies so submit your question with more detail here: thefearlessman.com/askbrian
off topic but on dating my girlfriend likes dancing especially Latin style im latino but i cant dance my friends a very good dancer and when we go to tbe club she stares like its magical . one time i was at a outside bar with music and this guy was dancing some type if latin style he grabs one of my girlfriends friend and starts to dance after the round my girlfriend gives me here bag and jumps in excitement to have a quik dance with him .with that situation happening should i be jealous or indifferent how should i handle that situation like a superior man ? p.s in mexican she italian we were in italy at the time
Let her dance with a guy - don't be jealous. That's the most confident thing you can do. And consider a dance class.
Yes thanks bro! I really consider you one of the most legit channel on here!!👊😎👍
Great compliment-thank you.
This is fucking good....god I fucking love this......no routines and lines like the other cheesy scams out there
I can read which women are open to being talked to and jump into an interaction with them, but I am interested in the tension with the women that have their bitch guards up but the interaction can go side ways quick where they get extremely rude and derogatory not to mention insulting. If a man was treating them this way and bunch of white Knights or other women would jump in and help them but when a women acts rude and derogatory towards a man it seems accepted by others in the public. The only option I have is to walk away but how would you break the ice? I have tried humor but if she is not interested in or willing to invest in the interaction and just wants you to go away there is nothing I can do. Is there a way? I know many women if they are not open to you it is almost impossible unless they come from some type of service industry training that they have to learn to be respectful to everyone because their tip depends on it. What are your thoughts?
Rich A Heyy,don't know if you care for advice from women..but here's my opinion: try and figure out if she's "open" to you. That thing is true,I can figure out really fast if I don't want anything to do with a guy,and from that point on,anything he does is useless. Easiest way if you don't know: ask her politely(by politely,I mean be respectful but keep your dignity).If she rejects you,keep your calm,tell her something along the lines of "Hey,too bad,but have a nice day" and leave. Never apologize for asking someone out or if they're interested.
God, this is rather exhausting.
I have NO social sense for the most part. I think I may be on the Arsperger's spectrum...
How in the hell do you create TENSION with words? I have a good eye game, but I guess that comes back to the lack of social sense.
I've gotten better about going down to my core and feeling the moment, but I do not understand the fundamentals to verbal tension.
P.S. I'm introverted, as well. Gotta love living in an extroverted world.
TheHabitman Asking questions might be a good start
Tension is not good , it#s a killer.. Relax!
Tension is life, my friend.
www.thefearlessman.com/dont-get-stress-out-of-your-life-change-your-relationship-to-stress-becoming-fearless/
www.thefearlessman.com/stress-is-a-form-of-tension/
this isnt well articulated advice. i get the point you're trying to make, but it relies on a number of fallacies that can skew the message. starting with tension, or stress. If a situation is stressful, you cannot expect one to magically enjoy it. you cannot enjoy something uncomfortable at will. I do agree that one must face stressful situations to grow, but the key to doing this is patience, and controlling your emotions. Its ok to not enjoy uncomfortable things. just because something is stressful, does not mean that it will stimulate growth. I think this point is the most important, because though you did say that being aware is important, you did not mention that people should be aware of stressful situations that can stimulate or hinder growth. i like the message overall, but i think you should care more about the little details so people dont fall into traps jumping head first into stressful situations.
i disagree, trying to rush trough stress is not a solution , you have to learn to live with it that's why i like the movie the road
It covered everything. Handling tension/stress IS handing your reaction/emotions about it. And he never said to jump headfirst into stressful situations. He specifically said to go just a little further into tension at a time, such as asking a woman for the time, or asking for a discount at a store. How this comment got 5 likes is beyond me.
this is why he said repeatedly "too much tension is bad"
I get soo lost listening to this guy. He sounds like something I'd listen to to go to sleep. Furthermore, who enjoys tension? Who really wants to be in a tense situation of any kind. It just makes absolutely no sense to me and nothing or no one can make me understand it. I like shit at it's most simple, easiest form and I don't like trying to find every way under the sun to make a connection. Why can't a man see a woman he's attracted to, say something to her and show his interest, and if she's attracted you go from there. Simple. Not a 500 point checklist of am I standing right, am I breathing right, am I creating enough tension, am I not creating enough tension, where is she looking, what is she doing, which ear did she put her hair behind, make sure you be yourself, make sure you don't be yourself, it's just too fuckin much. I'm exhausted just thinking about everything you have to be cognizant of, to the point where I wouldn't even wanna talk.
Its because you are in your head. When a person is so trained the wrong way like most guys then yeah it seems complicated. But when you learn it and own it it becomes just as natural and as simple as you want. Do you think about what foot you put first when you get up to walk? Do you decide which hand youre going to write with when you pick up a pen? So why would it be any different once you reprogram yourself on interactions with women? It seems like alot of work but its not your fault you have the wrong idea on connecting with women but you have to take it in your own hands and change it. Its worth it!
I think you are a good coach but 2 things just ruin your pitch... 1 is you should not swear and use foul language... 2 dont get caught in the details and get to the point using pointless examples is useless because you talk so much trying to get your points across it just confuses even more.
u chat shit
I enjoy your work dude but that shirt isn't working for you. It's too feminine! Made the video a little awkward to watch.
He most likely would agree. That video was several years ago. He's changed considerably since then. Thanks for the comment.
Landon, TFM
Nice use of hypnotic language