When people first meet you, they look to you to teach them about how they should feel about you. This is because, it's actually fairly difficult for most people to make up their own minds: so they're going to need your help. This is your opportunity! The key to getting people to feel positively about you is to imagine that you are world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman. I'll explain what that means in this episode. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #confidence
Guys. If you trick someone into buying you don’t be surprised when you get tossed in the trash when they find out you aren’t what was promised. Focus on continually developing yourself to stay ahead of the market. The product will sell itself as long as it is visible in comparison to the competitors.
100%. More than that, if you just show the results little talk is needed. My ex was an expert of selling himself, talking about himself, making promises he never intended to follow through. It doesn’t last. Become what you sell at least.
@@gabriellaluzpm Came here to say that. All this "market" advice is creepy. In fact this whole video is creepy. Men are marketable merchandise - not people? Hmm... Women don't know what they want? Men need to show us what we should want? It's like some men don't don't know how to NOT be misogynists. Haha, boy I have got news for men, I know what attracts me and no guy is gonna influence that. You are either a geniunly good person - with a healthy ego and humility, morals and integrity, educatedand and intelligent, emotionally intelligent and know how not take life so seriously - or you're not. It's a whole package. Women like me see through the marketing gimmicks. This isn't the old days anymore. We don't go for guys who look fancy or like a good "product". We want men who act like decent human beings and will respect us as such - for life! The rest is just personality and character. No man is gonna sell us something we don't want, period!
@@Peaches-i2i LOL the way I want to be treated is differently by different people, just as I treat others (since people aren't the same), but I know people love their "scripts."
Actually u can't treat everyone on how u wanna be treated, u treat someone how u wanna be treated to teach them how to treat u, but u should treat someone on how they wanna be treated coz everyone is different, and sometimes they just not so worth it to treat nice, if they treat u wrong, use mirroring effect so u can teach them 1 or 2 lessons. But ofc u should treat others with respect if they r nice to u. And never trust anyone, coz they will and they can to mess with u. Always be careful❤
“Understand who your customers actually are and practice indifference to the opinions to those that aren’t in your client base” this is a great statement. Looking at myself as a business helps out a lot and gives me focus
Look at yourself as a man who desires women. It's not rocket science. Be yourself. Learn the art of conversation. Make her laugh. Listen to her. Ask her about her. Don't be a business, just be yourself. Freshly showered, dressed in a way you feel confident, and smelling good always helps. Women aren't scary, they are actually pretty fucking awesome. Though some do bite, but only if you're lucky 😉
correct, i have worked this one out , why bother with people who are not interested in you. dont like you , dont take it to heart, focus on the ones that do, there 8 billion people, i never chase women who dont show an interest in me ,
People used to not buy my vacuums because they were, to be honest, not that valuable. But then I put effort into re-design, upgrades, and user features. Salesmanship and confidence are helpful for sure! But the most important thing is that your product is ACTUALLY GOOD. Then it starts selling itself 💛
Taking the analogy a step further - there's one factor that Dr. Orion doesn't discuss, namely supply and demand. As a late middle-aged man in Southern California, I get positive interactions from women quite frequently. Part of this is because I'm no longer morbidly obese. However, take a look at California's demographic info on Wikipedia - after age 40 there's a net surplus of women in that demographic group. Under age 30, the ladies have more choice. Once you're over that 40 year age barrier, interactions with women as a man tend to get easier due to supply and demand issues.
I use to get more success socially when I cared about how people perceived me. Now that I don't, people are attracted to my mysteriousness (because I keep to myself), but they don't stick around for very long or don't even approach but just look at me a lot (girls are notorious at this). I think because of my closed off demeanour, I have communicated that I'm unavailable which leads to less people approaching or even engaging in contrast to when I was open and putting myself out there. I find that people even put up tough exteriors because I'm intimidating to them. I certainly see the value in putting yourself out there and presenting yourself in an ideal way but also authentic to you. I just don't think I have it in me to care if I'm accepted or desirable anymore. What matters now is that I connect rather than have a lot of options socially. This is especially true when it comes to dating. I guess the moral of my comment is that sometimes you mature in a way that teaches you that you don't actually like a lot of people and that's okay; so you don't have to "sell yourself". Living the way you want is enough to attract people and those who stay are those you should care about anyway.
Older models can be less desirable to some people, who want new, but MORE desirable to others, who prefer classics. Often, newer products are not made as well, lower quality. They don’t make ‘em like they used to. Same is true of people. Don’t feel like being older is worse. Depends on the other person. Some prefer the wisdom and work you’ve done to improve your personality. They don’t want a millennial. Others do. Don’t worry about those ones.
I love the way he articulated the idea of no good or bad just features. Reminds me of Socrates quote “All things are indifferent, good and evil exists only in the mind.”
That's just saying value exists only in individual minds. There's no such thing as "floating" values. Values and without valueR. That's a point against what they call "intrinsicism" - the claim intrinsic values exist.
I've always found sales a struggle. As a customer, I have an inherent distrust of sales people because I know they're obviously not going to tell me about the products flaws, so I prefer to do my research, look at reviews, compare specs and get recommendations. So I feel like whenever I am trying to sell myself, whether it be in my business or with women, that they are thinking the same kind of things that I would be.
@@andersnielsen6044 I don't trust salespeople because they are motivated to make the most money possible, whether they tell the truth or lies, so a lot of them lie for personal financial gain. I wouldn't call that a "trust issue", I'd call that being a savvy consumer.
what are you talking about? I also think like that. Many people think like that. I hate when they try to sell me stuff and i hate ads with a passion. I find it really hard to "sell" myself without mentioning my flaws cause its like going against my values@@andersnielsen6044
Once trust is broken with someone, it can never be regained. The sole reason is fear. The fear that will happen again restricts us from trusting others again. When someone breaks our trust many of us appear to be calm, but 'just appear' somewhere deep inside there is restlessness, the battle going on between heart and brain, and we let the brain overpower. Trust has to be earned, its not something you just do. Thanks.
Great point. And if you're betrayed or lied to you shouldn't ever forgive this person because they'll continue to do it. Cos the fact they tried to undermine you once showed your value to him (ie low), if he treasure your relationship he won't do it to begin with. I've lost many "close friends" and even "family" throughout the years but I've not lost sleep over this because they have moved on from me before they betray me, it's already a dead relationship before the incident itself, except that I only know it after that.
If someone who isn’t meant for you,then why take into even the consideration? You still have to put your best foot ahead and present yourself with how you are and what you want ur future partner to see in urself…In your head you love the image and idea of the person that u created,but if turned out it’s not what it is!,then it’s unfortunate and a pity ..And you should be glad this happened and the truth is out OR should you have been happy if the fake and camouflaged version of ur partner was presented to you throughout and you would have never found the true nature or truth itself?
Is it really fear? Or is it just a logical conclusion that it's best not to trust that person moving forward? Creating way too much emotional reaction out of a simple concept. I'm not afraid of being lied to again; I'm being wise by not putting myself in a position to be lied to by someone who has problems with the truth.
I did some of this when I came to the United States as a teenager from Eastern Europe. I read the book "How to win friends and influence people", which gave a lot of similar advice. Good book, I highly recommend it. It certainly helped a lot with basic communication with native-born Americans, but it didn't make me into some kind of social butterfly or pickup artist.. In the end, I'm still much more comfortable and successful interacting with people from the same region of the world as I am.
🎆Mark - Agreed! One always feels better around ppl of similar National & cultural background… In fact, foreigners marrying Americans is not smart in most cases…
This is going to sound insane, but as a man you can only acquire the confidence for true game by accepting your inherent power over women with no shame and see yourself as superior. The twist here is that you must also treat women with love and understanding their mindsets and emotions. You can’t allow your brain become too misogynistic because it’s going to mess up the balance. At that stage spitting game to even 9s and 10s is gonna be light work because you’ll see yourself as inherently better than all women. Men only fall short with game because they view women as above themselves and as creatures that have to be constantly catered to. The Key is; Dominance, Understanding the female mind and body, while simultaneously showing them love and genuine appreciation. And remember, don’t let total misogyny overcloud your brain, because you won’t be able to authentically pull it off.💯💯
It's weird isn't it 😂 And women legit wanna feel less than you but not acknowledge it That's why a dependable man whom she can't control is so attractive to her
If it wasn’t for our sexual desire we literally would find women disgusting. No loyalty , hypergamy , briffaults law , monkey branching , hibristrofilia. How can you love this creatures??
Or he is just autistic/neuroatypical. This "energy" bs is completely hogwash, it's all about looks, money, status/preselection, and neuronormativity. Pressing your right buttons and giving the proper signals making you willing to submit.
Yes. As a sales guy this is all facts. Present your product confidently tell a story sell the sizzle not the steak overcome objections before them present themselves have confidence in the pricing and the close is easy.
Excellent analogy, because there is always an element of sales in all relationships, especially in high value ones. You don’t need to be in sales to be selling something; you’re always selling yourself.
At 24 I walked into a Navy recruiting center. The recruiter offered to answer any questions I had, but said as little as possible. He knew that I was already over 90% sold on the Navy. He couldn't talk me into it, but he didn't need to, he could easily talk me out of it.
I absolutely needed to watch this video. I’ve been having some serious self esteem issues for the past couple months. Need to go back into the fake it till you make it mode, and actually believe in myself too.
I‘ve found that the less I try to sell myself, and the more I try to think like a woman, and connect deeply with them, the more successful I’ve been and the more authentic my relationships have been. I’ve been with scores and scores of women, but never made it a point to dress up, wear a nice watch or fragrance, etc. I’ve never owned a car worth more than $5k. I wear the same color green t-shirt wherever I go. I own 10 of them. I wear the same model of shoes. I have a distinct style and none of it really feels like “trying”. I just focus on connecting to the woman INSIDE the woman and awakening her emotions. I’m afraid if I were to try to sell myself like a salesman, I’d attract the completely wrong women.
Same here. I dont feel i need to convince anybody about me. If i wouldn t be with me then she wouldn t be. Women like you said just want to feel good around you, not necessarily take something psychical out of you
Same here . Less is more finally a older chick and enjoying the company of a nice man .. less game is more game but it's all about confidence. I read that all day long and I have it ( confidence) it draws men ..
True selling isn’t convincing. It sounds like you’ve already created your own personal, distinctive ‘brand’ and you’re relaxed with it. That’s how the best salespeople actually are. They add value and don’t try to convince anyone of anything 😉🙌🏾
If she’s initially attracted to you, not much selling is needed to get your foot in the door. If she’s not, then your sales pitch is most likely going to be an exercise in futility.,
Yeah and women are attracted to healthy, good looking with good social skills men. Not just a random incel that believes he deserves something when in reality he has nothing and has a lot to work on himself
@@marte1376 noone gives a fuck what the useless gender wants pal. We can just pillage and conquer that shit any day like in the good ol times. Democracy is an experiment allowed BY MEN. And er could take it back anytime
I lived in my van throughout most of my twenties and never had trouble getting laid. It wasn’t even a particularly nice van.. the reason I had no issue was because how I framed it. I was clearly happy about my decision to live in this way and saw so many reasons as to why it was a good way to live and women were attracted to my passion for it and my disregard for other peoples opinions of it. Great summary Orian 👌
Certain women. Orion's premise is based on the assumption that the woman in question only has a vague desire for what she wants, if that isn't the case, then his advice becomes irrelevant. The women who had vague desires may have been convinced to look past your van and still sleep with you because they likely did not know whether or not they truly wanted a relationship or who with. Some women may eventually say they want a relationship once they are sleeping with someone and aren't in one, because by experiencing what they don't want it becomes clear what they do want. The women, for example, who already knew they weren't going to sleep with someone they weren't in a serious relationship with, and a man that has lived alone for at least 2 years, and is saving towards buying a house, etc -- they weren't ever going to consider you and your van as a viable option for any kind of intimate relationship simply because you were passionate about it. Only someone without clarity or who also wanted to live in a van could be convinced. That could be a good thing -- you find your people that way.
@@seeking37 I can't agree with you more well said 👏 I'm 60 I also am living in a van by choice- women I meet get van life 💯 they love the idea of total freedom, the simpler life, the traveling, the stepping off of the treadmill of life the changes in scenery and activities. Waking up somewhere else, feeding your eyes something they have not seen before, setting your feet where they have not previously tread is all good for one's soul and perspective. It's not about getting away from myself (I like me), it's getting away from "the system". Trying to lead a simple life, with nobody telling me what to do or how to behave and live my life. Most people just temporarily change location, posting pictures of the things they were told to be amazed at. That ain’t traveling, that’s another form of conspicuous consumption (capitalism). Peace 🙏
Invaluabe information Dr. Taraban. People fail to see the message between the lines in your sales analogy but I found it extremely insightful. Trust in your product, trust in yourself and understand that not everyone is going to like you. Thanks!
This is some of the greatest advice to literally go out and sell some vacuums. On top of that just sitting there and letting the product speak for itself works pretty good too
In my 40’s and really cannot be bothered playing these childish games and really don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I know to much about people to know that it isn’t worth it. Plus i wouldn’t be my authentic self by portraying someone I’m not. It takes to much energy and not worth the reward. The reward is not real, it’s fake. This is not living. You are merely existing to keep everyone happy. Once you revert back to your authentic self the reward is lost. Good luck with being fake
Same here, and the point that Dr Orion doesn't make is that you've got to keep up that impressive sales tactic forever to keep her around. It's also not a purchase of a vacuum cleaner, it's the continued renting of one month after month for hopefully the rest of her life. Using his analogy, you have to keep doing this all day, every day until either you or she dies of old age, just to prevent her from deciding to rent another instead. You should be able to present your authentic you with the minimum effort and not do it to sell to people. In other words, you should be able to just exist happily, and if someone comes along who likes that, fine, without you then having to sell to her. This is what I found during my dating and casual affairs in the 90s. They came to me because they liked what they saw, and hung around because they liked it. What Dr Orion is saying only applies to women who are grossly delusional to their value.
@@tigreytigrey8537because it just is 🤷🏻♀️ We live in the Narcissist era, we first need to overcome them, if that even is possible! I am very happy by blocking the bad gutters out! I want to live, I can do that whit the best people, my family and a few friends! The more you let yourself in with strangers because you say that is good for me, the more I literally don’t wanna waste my time, I feel better not taking risks anymore! That makes me the happiest! No fake people anxiety’s anymore 🎉🎉 Haaaalelujaaaa 🙏🏼😎 I
It's conning the woman. It's an act you can never stop doing. I know an older guy who has this false persona with everyone and sells this fake personality, and that's how he found himself a new wife. I can't stand being around him.
I actually had a vacuum cleaner salesman come to my house as a kid and said he would get paid a decent amount of money just for demonstrating it for us. My mom let him do that but didn’t buy it. Thanks for teaching us not to worry about those who aren’t interested in our “product”. It’s much healthier than trying to turn a square peg into a round hole.
I wasn’t sure why the algorithm gods sent this my way… but man am I glad I listened! Instead of women though, my customers are corporate leaders. Sometimes I overthink the critics and “non-customers” so I needed to hear this. Thanks for the shift in mindset! I’m proud of my product (automating product testing) and will use this technique to maintain healthy motivation.
Just got on this guys videos and have been surprisingly impressed with his unique perspective that actually differs greatly from all other content creators in this genre - not only that , but my deepest inner spirit detects that THIS guys approach is actually FAR more truthful to the way men ought to think about themselves with regard to their approach with women
I have this vacuum cleaner. It's a great vacuum cleaner. It's a classic vac at 66 years of age! This vacuum cleaner is small and compact at 5'5", and very maneuverable. My vacuum is a self-start that requires minimal maintenance and is self-propelled. Did I mention that it is a "Classic", that comes with its own insurance. It is also a military issued model. Which means that it has been misused for years and keeps going. You should invest in this vacuum cleaner now, while the cost is low. 😆
Dr. Ryan… I was hooked by your title and introduction but I’m not connecting the dots on how vacuum cleaner sales helps me teach others how to feel about me I certainly feel a lot more confident about selling vacuums.
In my experience : Once a I started to view my self as the best seducer in the history of man kind , I started to have an effect on people. The last advice is priceless and I love how you delivered it ,much love ❤
As someone from a South American country living in a Westerm European country, I can tell you that it is hard to be liked or accepted by the people from this country. Many will still look at you like some kind of weirdo they can never fully trust or figure out, no matter how nice, trustworthy or decent you are. It is a different culture with different mindsets, expectations, body language, shared rituals, etc., and we are and never will be on the same page. On the other hand, interacting with people from my same part of the world I immediately connect and feel respected and valued.
I have been with people from South America for 8 years, they are beautiful people, of course they have a different culture, but nonetheless I love them.
I’ve been selling myself on practicality and ideas such as--when it’s time to grow or just maintain inner peace. I’m also learning how to incorporate indifference for loftier outcomes (rather than sour grapes syndrome). Beyond basic needs and a few pleasures, I won’t over task myself into stress--Makes all the difference in being an “above average happy” person.
Hi Orion, I don’t really like the salesman example. As this goes towards manipulation. I know manipulation with advertising is a big thing in the US, compared to Europe. Maybe it’s time to talk about good and dark rhetorics at this point. I am convinced that good rhetorics are key if you want to improve your social life, you go for this in many of your videos on self improvement. But the salesman example is dark rhetorics, which involves manipulating people. Yes, it increases your chances short term. Also in mid/long term, if done well. But when going for a dating or life advice, I am in the opinion that this is toxic, not only for relationships, but for society in general.
Thank you very much! This is probably THE BEST speech I have ever heard about the topic. The vac cleaner metaphor is very good at getting the message through😊
If you have to convince her and game her, she is not worth the headache. Self improve, be your best self, and let any willing buyers come. Be an employer and review / accept applications from women to come work for you. Don't be desperate. Set the frame and terms of the relationship. Take it or leave it attitude.
This isn't entirely true, if you keep self improving but are never putting in effort to be social things won't just come to you. You have to put in effort explicitly to get women. The younger you start doing this the better since opportunities dry up FAST
Bingo. Finally, someone who gets it. This is what I used to do in the 90s when I had affairs or relationships/whatever. This is what women liked then, and I didn't sell myself like this. I've a few admirers these days who have told me that this is what they appreciate about me. I can't do anything about most of them, though.
Yes! You've got it. Her attraction to you is not hers or your choice. Game can rapidly seduce the gamer as well as the target of his attention - thru too much buy in. So, too much fake energy, rather than holding frame and being naturally curious, quickly becomes unsustainable. However, as I recall from past experience, having very attractive friends, an active sex-life and practicing talking to anyone random at anytime about anything, dramatically improves one's attractiveness to others and chances of meeting a real diamond.
Asking a woman to truly and sincerely love you unconditionally forever is like trying to hit a million dollor lottery. The closest to finding this kind of love would be your self and immediate family.
Why are expecting women to love you unconditionally? The only person who should do that is your mother. Do you love women unconditionally? Do men love women unconditionally? No one owes you this when you go out into the world.
This is brilliant, it fills in the blanks of considerations and priority of focus for presentation and closing. Quite a positive perspective of mutual stimulation possibility of joyful suckage in the game of love.
I would never listen to any of this channel's advice, but when it comes to explaining some people's odd behaviour to me it's pure gold. They were putting on an act!! And I, fool that I was thought they were authentic and struggled to be authentic around them! Some people want to be lied to it seems. All they know are clichés and roles to play, and you are just their pawn. It's all about them, always. My now husband, his family, my father's part of my family and my friends all are authentic and I will never accept "charismatic" people in my life again. Charisma is a sign of weak character, it's exhausting because the curtain never falls, and in the end it leads to loneliness. Authentic people realize sooner or later what game is being played with them, and then they're off. Charismatic people will call the same person friend or foe according to their wishes. They don't love anyone really and nobody loves them. If I apply for a job interview or meet someone and they dismiss me because they don't want my true self but a puppet, they're not for me. Keep on the good work. Your advice is terrible but it explains so much. What a relief it is for an authentic person when one day they look back on an awful relationship and can say, "It was not my fault and it couldn't have gone any other way." Avoid charismatic people. Always. That is my advice. You can't truly live and be happy with an illusion, and neither can they.
💯🔥🔥🔥 Now I understand why I like you so much.. You have combined your incredible knowledge of physiology and your acting talent to be amazing salesman 👏 I say that with complete respect !!
5:58 So Alex Hormozi talks about this “flaws idea” too. Interestingly, he seems to have a healthy relationships and he’s great at sales and business and communication. I might be adding a bit of my interpretation but talks about how people should consider starting with their perceived flaws and finding people who think that those flaws are benefits. For example, a house hat’s down the road from a loud bar would be terrible for someone who wants peace and quiet but someone who loves drinking, and going out and bars - it’d be AWESOME. Find and identify the people who think that your intricacies are awesome. Love this
Only true for young or naive ones. I had plenty of (emotionally mature) women telling me to show them first hell (flaws , shortcomings etc) instead of my good sides. For men it also sets the bar low- any little improvement on his part later on is a big deal for her . Setting the bar too high (overly confident , assertive etc) in the beginning might give you some advantage with certain women initially but will backfire later one as no one can keep up with the first impression set in the beginning .
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🗣️ In initial interactions, you teach people how to feel about you through non-verbals, tone, expression, and body language. 02:09 🤝 Assume interest and educate others about their needs and desires in interactions. 03:34 💼 Believing in your product is crucial for successful sales; your belief in it influences your communication. 06:05 🛒 Recast perceived product liabilities as assets to present it in the best possible light. 08:36 🤷♂️ Focus on your actual customers and practice indifference to non-buyers' opinions to succeed in your business. Made with HARPA AI
I relate. Two years ago, and currently as well, I’ve had phases in which I carried myself more seriously, less looking for approval from others. This time was triggered by standing up to my best friend when I felt he acted unfairly towards me. In between I was (am at times) very insecure although it doesn’t really show - people told me I seem self-assured. Even so, I notice a difference of respect expressed towards me between those two modes which is incredible, the difference between a mediocre, unfulfilled and a hell yeah life. Someone feels this?
Standing up to people, showing them you have a backbone and they can't use you just makes things worse IME as they ostracise you. Good luck trying to find anyone who doesn't use you either at a professional level or just friendship.
I read in Models (by Mark Manson) that people attract alike people. And it stuck with me, and the longer i think the more it makes sense. If you are honest, you would want other people to also respond back with honesty, thus the social circle will be mostly people that are up to the "honest" standard. Thus its also believable if we change our behaviour to "look" self assured even though the inside might not be true, people that are looking for such thing in other people would also be indirectly attracted and might say we look like it.
I might actually have been "THEE best" vacuum cleaner salesperson one summer, many many years ago. I once sold a $2,000+ Kirby to a customer who had zero carpet in their home. Everything you said makes perfect sense to me! 😂😂😂😂
Honestly---- The Vaccuum story was exhausting---- All you can do is be the best version of yourself that you can be in that moment---- How the world reacts to that is not my problem
Great analogy. Thank you for sharing sir! Edit; love the part about flaws as perception rather than fact. That's the first time I've thought about it like this, it really helps put things into perspective.
To me this part in real life is when you make quick-witted jokes to "invert" any doubts, jabs or critiques she might have on the spot, turning "bugs" into "features".
There's coming a time very soon when women are going to have to learn game and sell themselves. It's always the person that needs something that needs to employ game
Really good points!! The only problem is that, if she is fickle and shallow, another more persuasive salesmen will eventually come along and convince her to refund her original purchase for what he is offering. Remember, her window shopping tendencies have conditioned her to focus on what's missing.
You popped up on my radar very recently and I'm very impressed. You explain things fantastically and I do learn from you. I can give a like, comment, and sub to support you.
Thank you Orion! I laughed so heartily at your bit about turning „flaws“ into „features“! I felt your points to be so witty and funny that I will not hesitate to try your recipe with the next new person I meet. Should be educational and…maybe effective.
You can sell yourself without saying a word to women. Women love mystery, the unknown of a man. So when i meet a woman , i dont tell her how much i make, i dont tell her what i drive, i dont tell her what kind of house i live in. I stay humble. She slowly sees the way i dress, she see the car i pick her up in, she observes what i order and eat when we go out....My life is not extravagant but very comfortable. She sees my successi a little at a time.. keep her interested. She sees the kind of life i can provide.. BUt i decide that not her, women think bcuz their pretty they deserve that life. They leadw looks.... There's much more then looks that will get me to commit to them. That being said, obviously, you have to keep her interested w verbal judo also...
I’m an introvert so woman tend to dislike me without even talking to me. Most men are intimidated by me and get nervous around me. When I walk into a room everyone goes quiet. I’m not going to be someone I’m not just to impress people.
"Being yourself", are you someone who doesn't like to learn new skills? Someone who can't learn and grow? In that case, keep on keeping on. If not, stop BSing yourself that learning skills for how to interact with other people is "not being yourself". Learn the science and the skills and apply them your way, being you all the time. (Said from someone who used to feel the way you do, and doesn't anymore).
Compiling some knowledge here. I recently learned women don’t neurologically are incapable of making decisions without establishing a framework to make them. I used to use self deprecating humor to ease the tensions on first dates until I saw that most of them don’t get the joke, these are not unobvious things either, but it does seem mostly true that whatever it is that you tell a woman that you are is what she is going to believe. Second I learned dissolving a woman’s tension often times turns them off not on.
To add to this. I found what you get when you sooth a woman’s tension away is the line “ you seem like a really nice guy but I just don’t feel attracted”.
@@Turtleface869 Very astute observations. it seems like EVERYTHING we are told to do, is the opposite that works to 'attract' women. these things may work to keep them, but NOT to attract them.
Vacuums are a fungible commodity. Rather, I'd sell a unique and hard-to-find item. Discovery would work the same, but the value-proposition is the carefully tuned and refined combination. Also, deciding is costly, and you cannot just go back to any shop for any product: It's an instance of the Secretary Problem (aka Castles on the Rhine Problem) -- plus, the longer (expensive) your decision process, the more likely the opportunity vanishes and you have start it anew.
Well, after watching this I have a slightly better idea of how to sell a vacuum, but not much about how to teach anyone to feel about me. Basically, I think it would've translated better if you didn't use a metaphor and instead actually teach people how to feel about them.
The longer I listen to this channel the more it feels like 75%. I had some great mentors and they said 75% of what he says…but they had worked out the last 25% to actual solutions. I’m out, thanks for reminding me how blessed I was to have them.
When you have 1000 customers and no one buys your vacuum because they want a 6ft 1mil vacuum that they can’t afford , you close the shop and live a happy life all by yourself .
Yes But please Take into account to be the best version of yourself + your target audience to be suitable for you! (No point selling your “vacuum” to someone who “affords” the 6ft one! Lower the price!;) - PS I work in marketing and lowering prices always increases sales
@@BB-iy2mk yep, this. Men keep saying women only want the "expensive" vacuums but that's mostly because they only go for the types of women that want the expensive vacuums. There's plenty of women that want a cheaper one. But of course the men don't wanna lower the price so they end up with no sales. Aka lonely. Just look around when you're at a grocery store or whatever, usually the women are walking around with cheaper vacuums, not the 6ft 1mil ones.... I hope I'm using this metaphor correctly but I think you get the point lmao.
@@limeylemon1685 I get IT very well, they are So judgemental of women to be as beautiful as possible, But honestly being beautiful is actually expensive. What they see in porn they have no idea how much IT costs, the natural looking lash extensions, the fake tans, that shiny perfect hair etc. They actually think those women were born like that 😂
When people first meet you, they look to you to teach them about how they should feel about you. This is because, it's actually fairly difficult for most people to make up their own minds: so they're going to need your help. This is your opportunity! The key to getting people to feel positively about you is to imagine that you are world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman. I'll explain what that means in this episode.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #confidence
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Empty the ashtray on her carpet and go to work.
excellent video, couldn't have explained it better myself
There is a guy in the upper comment i made whos swindling people with a fake account of yours
There are some who will pick up on a seller's attitude. It has to be genuine belief, not BS.
Guys. If you trick someone into buying you don’t be surprised when you get tossed in the trash when they find out you aren’t what was promised. Focus on continually developing yourself to stay ahead of the market. The product will sell itself as long as it is visible in comparison to the competitors.
💯
Agree!!
100%
100%. More than that, if you just show the results little talk is needed. My ex was an expert of selling himself, talking about himself, making promises he never intended to follow through. It doesn’t last. Become what you sell at least.
@@gabriellaluzpm Came here to say that. All this "market" advice is creepy. In fact this whole video is creepy.
Men are marketable merchandise - not people? Hmm... Women don't know what they want? Men need to show us what we should want? It's like some men don't don't know how to NOT be misogynists.
Haha, boy I have got news for men, I know what attracts me and no guy is gonna influence that. You are either a geniunly good person - with a healthy ego and humility, morals and integrity, educatedand and intelligent, emotionally intelligent and know how not take life so seriously - or you're not. It's a whole package. Women like me see through the marketing gimmicks.
This isn't the old days anymore. We don't go for guys who look fancy or like a good "product". We want men who act like decent human beings and will respect us as such - for life! The rest is just personality and character. No man is gonna sell us something we don't want, period!
Act like a person worthy of respect and you will get it. Treat people the way you want to be treated. With respect.
Powerful cope
@@Peaches-i2i You meant - amazing advice
@@Peaches-i2i LOL the way I want to be treated is differently by different people, just as I treat others (since people aren't the same), but I know people love their "scripts."
Actually u can't treat everyone on how u wanna be treated, u treat someone how u wanna be treated to teach them how to treat u, but u should treat someone on how they wanna be treated coz everyone is different, and sometimes they just not so worth it to treat nice, if they treat u wrong, use mirroring effect so u can teach them 1 or 2 lessons. But ofc u should treat others with respect if they r nice to u. And never trust anyone, coz they will and they can to mess with u. Always be careful❤
@@hira1248 preach, sister ! FACTS.
“Understand who your customers actually are and practice indifference to the opinions to those that aren’t in your client base” this is a great statement. Looking at myself as a business helps out a lot and gives me focus
Look at yourself as a man who desires women. It's not rocket science. Be yourself. Learn the art of conversation. Make her laugh. Listen to her. Ask her about her. Don't be a business, just be yourself. Freshly showered, dressed in a way you feel confident, and smelling good always helps. Women aren't scary, they are actually pretty fucking awesome.
Though some do bite, but only if you're lucky 😉
@@thaboulevard8686This is the BEST and healthiest comment I have ever read. ❤️ Thank you! Spread the word.
correct, i have worked this one out , why bother with people who are not interested in you. dont like you , dont take it to heart, focus on the ones that do,
there 8 billion people, i never chase women who dont show an interest in me ,
“You have no obligation to help her reject you”. Great line.
When a woman says “ he ain’t got no game” she’s really saying he’s not good at convincing me (manipulating me) into why I should consider him.
Toxic mindset...
Manipulation ? SMH stop it
“He ain’t got game” == poor social skills with respect to women. It’s not about manipulation.
It's not manipulation if u are truly confident
Theres a difference between manipulation and actually being worthwhile. Theres no need to manipulate anyone if you are genuinely attractive
In one word: Confidence
People used to not buy my vacuums because they were, to be honest, not that valuable. But then I put effort into re-design, upgrades, and user features. Salesmanship and confidence are helpful for sure! But the most important thing is that your product is ACTUALLY GOOD. Then it starts selling itself 💛
So, you spent a lot of time and effort to learn how to suck better? (Vacuum joke)
Reminds me of the old saying. “ Build a better mouse trap and the world will beat a path to your door.”
Taking the analogy a step further - there's one factor that Dr. Orion doesn't discuss, namely supply and demand. As a late middle-aged man in Southern California, I get positive interactions from women quite frequently. Part of this is because I'm no longer morbidly obese. However, take a look at California's demographic info on Wikipedia - after age 40 there's a net surplus of women in that demographic group. Under age 30, the ladies have more choice. Once you're over that 40 year age barrier, interactions with women as a man tend to get easier due to supply and demand issues.
Same thing with being attractive to females.
Price must also be fair and proportionate
I use to get more success socially when I cared about how people perceived me. Now that I don't, people are attracted to my mysteriousness (because I keep to myself), but they don't stick around for very long or don't even approach but just look at me a lot (girls are notorious at this). I think because of my closed off demeanour, I have communicated that I'm unavailable which leads to less people approaching or even engaging in contrast to when I was open and putting myself out there. I find that people even put up tough exteriors because I'm intimidating to them. I certainly see the value in putting yourself out there and presenting yourself in an ideal way but also authentic to you. I just don't think I have it in me to care if I'm accepted or desirable anymore. What matters now is that I connect rather than have a lot of options socially. This is especially true when it comes to dating. I guess the moral of my comment is that sometimes you mature in a way that teaches you that you don't actually like a lot of people and that's okay; so you don't have to "sell yourself". Living the way you want is enough to attract people and those who stay are those you should care about anyway.
That was lovely to read. I think we all get to this point in this life and it all feels so freeing.
Amen to this. I have found this way as well, it's so much easier.
I’m getting here
Exactly what I ‘m going through right now thanks for putting the words
Well put!
Older models can be less desirable to some people, who want new, but MORE desirable to others, who prefer classics. Often, newer products are not made as well, lower quality. They don’t make ‘em like they used to. Same is true of people. Don’t feel like being older is worse. Depends on the other person. Some prefer the wisdom and work you’ve done to improve your personality. They don’t want a millennial. Others do. Don’t worry about those ones.
Millennials are older models now too
I love the way he articulated the idea of no good or bad just features. Reminds me of Socrates quote “All things are indifferent, good and evil exists only in the mind.”
Spot-on
How is stealing someone's property or life not indifferent? What you're saying is that if i see theft and murder as a good thing, it's fine.
Bullshit. If someone rapes and dismembers someone you love, I guarantee you will not see their actions this way.
They're saying it's all in your mind and about perspective
Also, can be used as for non accountability though
That's just saying value exists only in individual minds.
There's no such thing as "floating" values. Values and without valueR.
That's a point against what they call "intrinsicism" - the claim intrinsic values exist.
I've always found sales a struggle. As a customer, I have an inherent distrust of sales people because I know they're obviously not going to tell me about the products flaws, so I prefer to do my research, look at reviews, compare specs and get recommendations. So I feel like whenever I am trying to sell myself, whether it be in my business or with women, that they are thinking the same kind of things that I would be.
All this comes down to some trust-issues inside you.. You have to work on that.. ;)
@@andersnielsen6044 I don't trust salespeople because they are motivated to make the most money possible, whether they tell the truth or lies, so a lot of them lie for personal financial gain. I wouldn't call that a "trust issue", I'd call that being a savvy consumer.
what are you talking about? I also think like that. Many people think like that. I hate when they try to sell me stuff and i hate ads with a passion. I find it really hard to "sell" myself without mentioning my flaws cause its like going against my values@@andersnielsen6044
Salesmen sell you what you don't want...
@@marshall886 only you made the decision to purchase; only you make the decision to stick around and listen to their spiel
Once trust is broken with someone, it can never be regained. The sole reason is fear. The fear that will happen again restricts us from trusting others again. When someone breaks our trust many of us appear to be calm, but 'just appear' somewhere deep inside there is restlessness, the battle going on between heart and brain, and we let the brain overpower. Trust has to be earned, its not something you just do. Thanks.
Great point. And if you're betrayed or lied to you shouldn't ever forgive this person because they'll continue to do it. Cos the fact they tried to undermine you once showed your value to him (ie low), if he treasure your relationship he won't do it to begin with. I've lost many "close friends" and even "family" throughout the years but I've not lost sleep over this because they have moved on from me before they betray me, it's already a dead relationship before the incident itself, except that I only know it after that.
If someone who isn’t meant for you,then why take into even the consideration? You still have to put your best foot ahead and present yourself with how you are and what you want ur future partner to see in urself…In your head you love the image and idea of the person that u created,but if turned out it’s not what it is!,then it’s unfortunate and a pity ..And you should be glad this happened and the truth is out OR should you have been happy if the fake and camouflaged version of ur partner was presented to you throughout and you would have never found the true nature or truth itself?
Is it really fear? Or is it just a logical conclusion that it's best not to trust that person moving forward? Creating way too much emotional reaction out of a simple concept. I'm not afraid of being lied to again; I'm being wise by not putting myself in a position to be lied to by someone who has problems with the truth.
@@schroederluck7984 everything we do is out of fear and love
I did some of this when I came to the United States as a teenager from Eastern Europe. I read the book "How to win friends and influence people", which gave a lot of similar advice. Good book, I highly recommend it. It certainly helped a lot with basic communication with native-born Americans, but it didn't make me into some kind of social butterfly or pickup artist.. In the end, I'm still much more comfortable and successful interacting with people from the same region of the world as I am.
That book is hugely based on ‘going out of your way to please people’ which is garbage advice. Be a doormat? No thanks.
@@JohnM... It's really not. It's all about how to make the other person feel good around you.
@@talknight2 Personally I’m sick of doing that. I’m a reforming people pleaser, so that book just makes me heave a little bit. 😆
@@JohnM... that's just a matter of balance. the right amount of something can be good, but too much of that same thing can be bad.
🎆Mark - Agreed!
One always feels better around ppl of similar National & cultural background…
In fact, foreigners marrying Americans is not smart in most cases…
Sell your product like you believe in it. Even when you dont. And when you dont believe in it, work on yourself until you do.
Work on your product till you believe in it
Well said
I’ve taught people how to feel about me unconditionally lovable , generous, open minded , creative
This is going to sound insane, but as a man you can only acquire the confidence for true game by accepting your inherent power over women with no shame and see yourself as superior. The twist here is that you must also treat women with love and understanding their mindsets and emotions. You can’t allow your brain become too misogynistic because it’s going to mess up the balance. At that stage spitting game to even 9s and 10s is gonna be light work because you’ll see yourself as inherently better than all women. Men only fall short with game because they view women as above themselves and as creatures that have to be constantly catered to. The Key is; Dominance, Understanding the female mind and body, while simultaneously showing them love and genuine appreciation. And remember, don’t let total misogyny overcloud your brain, because you won’t be able to authentically pull it off.💯💯
It's weird isn't it 😂
And women legit wanna feel less than you but not acknowledge it
That's why a dependable man whom she can't control is so attractive to her
How old are you?
painfully true
another delusion
If it wasn’t for our sexual desire we literally would find women disgusting. No loyalty , hypergamy , briffaults law , monkey branching , hibristrofilia. How can you love this creatures??
A man’s energy tells me everything. It does NOT matter what he looks like. If the energy is off, I now listen.
Or he is just autistic/neuroatypical. This "energy" bs is completely hogwash, it's all about looks, money, status/preselection, and neuronormativity. Pressing your right buttons and giving the proper signals making you willing to submit.
If the energy is off you listen?
What do you mean? Maybe that was a typo?
listen to my intuition @@11Garrett11
Amen
If the energy is off, I walk away. Why would you listen?
Yes. As a sales guy this is all facts. Present your product confidently tell a story sell the sizzle not the steak overcome objections before them present themselves have confidence in the pricing and the close is easy.
Excellent analogy, because there is always an element of sales in all relationships, especially in high value ones. You don’t need to be in sales to be selling something; you’re always selling yourself.
At 24 I walked into a Navy recruiting center. The recruiter offered to answer any questions I had, but said as little as possible. He knew that I was already over 90% sold on the Navy. He couldn't talk me into it, but he didn't need to, he could easily talk me out of it.
As a sales guy the customers 90% of the way take the most skill.
Newbies do great with them because they don’t know enough to screw it up yet. 😂
They only need dumb ones for the forces, so they can go die for large cooperation's that govern everything. Maybe u looked too smart.
I absolutely needed to watch this video. I’ve been having some serious self esteem issues for the past couple months. Need to go back into the fake it till you make it mode, and actually believe in myself too.
You have no idea what your content is doing to me. Thank you for showing me I am a strong and powerful man, or so I can be one. Thank you Dr🙏🏿
I‘ve found that the less I try to sell myself, and the more I try to think like a woman, and connect deeply with them, the more successful I’ve been and the more authentic my relationships have been.
I’ve been with scores and scores of women, but never made it a point to dress up, wear a nice watch or fragrance, etc. I’ve never owned a car worth more than $5k. I wear the same color green t-shirt wherever I go. I own 10 of them. I wear the same model of shoes. I have a distinct style and none of it really feels like “trying”. I just focus on connecting to the woman INSIDE the woman and awakening her emotions.
I’m afraid if I were to try to sell myself like a salesman, I’d attract the completely wrong women.
Same here. I dont feel i need to convince anybody about me. If i wouldn t be with me then she wouldn t be. Women like you said just want to feel good around you, not necessarily take something psychical out of you
… been with scores and scores of women… that tells us everything we need to know about this jerk. Run!
Same here . Less is more finally a older chick and enjoying the company of a nice man .. less game is more game but it's all about confidence. I read that all day long and I have it ( confidence) it draws men ..
It's all about casting yourself in the best possible light not worst. That is all. Wise up!
True selling isn’t convincing. It sounds like you’ve already created your own personal, distinctive ‘brand’ and you’re relaxed with it.
That’s how the best salespeople actually are. They add value and don’t try to convince anyone of anything 😉🙌🏾
If she’s initially attracted to you, not much selling is needed to get your foot in the door. If she’s not, then your sales pitch is most likely going to be an exercise in futility.,
That's the part he leaves out
It’s true. Just move along if that happens!
@@EE12CSVTmost red pillers do leave genetics out the convo cause it's bsd for their business
Yeah and women are attracted to healthy, good looking with good social skills men. Not just a random incel that believes he deserves something when in reality he has nothing and has a lot to work on himself
@@marte1376 noone gives a fuck what the useless gender wants pal. We can just pillage and conquer that shit any day like in the good ol times. Democracy is an experiment allowed BY MEN. And er could take it back anytime
I lived in my van throughout most of my twenties and never had trouble getting laid. It wasn’t even a particularly nice van.. the reason I had no issue was because how I framed it. I was clearly happy about my decision to live in this way and saw so many reasons as to why it was a good way to live and women were attracted to my passion for it and my disregard for other peoples opinions of it. Great summary Orian 👌
Certain women. Orion's premise is based on the assumption that the woman in question only has a vague desire for what she wants, if that isn't the case, then his advice becomes irrelevant. The women who had vague desires may have been convinced to look past your van and still sleep with you because they likely did not know whether or not they truly wanted a relationship or who with. Some women may eventually say they want a relationship once they are sleeping with someone and aren't in one, because by experiencing what they don't want it becomes clear what they do want.
The women, for example, who already knew they weren't going to sleep with someone they weren't in a serious relationship with, and a man that has lived alone for at least 2 years, and is saving towards buying a house, etc -- they weren't ever going to consider you and your van as a viable option for any kind of intimate relationship simply because you were passionate about it. Only someone without clarity or who also wanted to live in a van could be convinced.
That could be a good thing -- you find your people that way.
@@seeking37 I can't agree with you more well said 👏 I'm 60 I also am living in a van by choice- women I meet get van life 💯 they love the idea of total freedom, the simpler life, the traveling, the stepping off of the treadmill of life the changes in scenery and activities.
Waking up somewhere else, feeding your eyes something they have not seen before, setting your feet where they have not previously tread is all good for one's soul and perspective.
It's not about getting away from myself (I like me), it's getting away from "the system". Trying to lead a simple life, with nobody telling me what to do or how to behave and live my life.
Most people just temporarily change location, posting pictures of the things they were told to be amazed at.
That ain’t traveling, that’s another form of conspicuous consumption (capitalism). Peace 🙏
Invaluabe information Dr. Taraban. People fail to see the message between the lines in your sales analogy but I found it extremely insightful. Trust in your product, trust in yourself and understand that not everyone is going to like you. Thanks!
That's funny! I sold vacuums for 11 years. I had a few people buy from me because their dog liked me. Apparently the pooch never liked salesmen.
Hahaha good one. The dogs had seen too many "snake oil salesmen" :)
This is some of the greatest advice to literally go out and sell some vacuums. On top of that just sitting there and letting the product speak for itself works pretty good too
In my 40’s and really cannot be bothered playing these childish games and really don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I know to much about people to know that it isn’t worth it. Plus i wouldn’t be my authentic self by portraying someone I’m not. It takes to much energy and not worth the reward. The reward is not real, it’s fake. This is not living. You are merely existing to keep everyone happy. Once you revert back to your authentic self the reward is lost. Good luck with being fake
Same here, and the point that Dr Orion doesn't make is that you've got to keep up that impressive sales tactic forever to keep her around. It's also not a purchase of a vacuum cleaner, it's the continued renting of one month after month for hopefully the rest of her life. Using his analogy, you have to keep doing this all day, every day until either you or she dies of old age, just to prevent her from deciding to rent another instead.
You should be able to present your authentic you with the minimum effort and not do it to sell to people. In other words, you should be able to just exist happily, and if someone comes along who likes that, fine, without you then having to sell to her. This is what I found during my dating and casual affairs in the 90s. They came to me because they liked what they saw, and hung around because they liked it. What Dr Orion is saying only applies to women who are grossly delusional to their value.
You don't have to fake it. It's about the first impression where you should be the best version of yourself, not someone else.
Uhhh it's called SELF IMPROVEMENT. lol. Why does it have to be faked?
Amen to that so much!
🙏🏼
@@tigreytigrey8537because it just is 🤷🏻♀️
We live in the Narcissist era, we first need to overcome them, if that even is possible!
I am very happy by blocking the bad gutters out!
I want to live, I can do that whit the best people, my family and a few friends!
The more you let yourself in with strangers because you say that is good for me, the more I literally don’t wanna waste my time, I feel better not taking risks anymore! That makes me the happiest! No fake people anxiety’s anymore 🎉🎉
Haaaalelujaaaa 🙏🏼😎
I
I love the McDonald's doesn't care bit.
"there are tons of people that are critical of fast food, but they ain't buyin Big Macs" 👏👏👏 bravo sir
I love this! I've been practicing seeing myself in a better light so I don't help the customer find flaws in me
I'm so effing glad I've never needed to adopt this salesman's approach to companionship.
It's conning the woman. It's an act you can never stop doing. I know an older guy who has this false persona with everyone and sells this fake personality, and that's how he found himself a new wife. I can't stand being around him.
I actually had a vacuum cleaner salesman come to my house as a kid and said he would get paid a decent amount of money just for demonstrating it for us. My mom let him do that but didn’t buy it.
Thanks for teaching us not to worry about those who aren’t interested in our “product”. It’s much healthier than trying to turn a square peg into a round hole.
haha. "hey pretty lady, try before you buy? I'll still enjoy it greatly." I guess maybe that works too
@@dragon-id5uj FWB in a nutshell lol
I wasn’t sure why the algorithm gods sent this my way… but man am I glad I listened!
Instead of women though, my customers are corporate leaders. Sometimes I overthink the critics and “non-customers” so I needed to hear this.
Thanks for the shift in mindset! I’m proud of my product (automating product testing) and will use this technique to maintain healthy motivation.
Your metaphors make complex things easy to understand
„You have to believe it to see it.“ This is GOLD!
I'm so glad you're talking about this. This is why you're one of my favorite TH-camrs and I'm so glad I can learn from you as a woman myself.
Honestly if you’re a woman I highly recommend channels like Manifestelle over this garbage tbh
@@dinosaur___7209 Why is that? I haven’t watched the video yet as I’m always running around lol
The TH-camr is a misogynist who gives bad advice and this can be seen by how the comment sections of his videos almost never pass the vibe check.
Thanks to this video, I have not only decided to become a vacuum cleaner salesman, but to become the greatest vacuum cleaner salesman in the world!
Haha
Very well said! When you believe in your product, you can bring buyers on board.
Just got on this guys videos and have been surprisingly impressed with his unique perspective that actually differs greatly from all other content creators in this genre - not only that , but my deepest inner spirit detects that THIS guys approach is actually FAR more truthful to the way men ought to think about themselves with regard to their approach with women
I have this vacuum cleaner. It's a great vacuum cleaner. It's a classic vac at 66 years of age! This vacuum cleaner is small and compact at 5'5", and very maneuverable. My vacuum is a self-start that requires minimal maintenance and is self-propelled. Did I mention that it is a "Classic", that comes with its own insurance. It is also a military issued model. Which means that it has been misused for years and keeps going. You should invest in this vacuum cleaner now, while the cost is low. 😆
Cute!
Dr. Ryan… I was hooked by your title and introduction but I’m not connecting the dots on how vacuum cleaner sales helps me teach others how to feel about me
I certainly feel a lot more confident about selling vacuums.
Love this concept!!! As a woman I will begin to remind myself I am a product and my product is valuable!!!
In my experience : Once a I started to view my self as the best seducer in the history of man kind , I started to have an effect on people.
The last advice is priceless and I love how you delivered it ,much love ❤
Think it’s very admirable that you don’t do product placements + endorsements. Subscribed.
As someone from a South American country living in a Westerm European country, I can tell you that it is hard to be liked or accepted by the people from this country. Many will still look at you like some kind of weirdo they can never fully trust or figure out, no matter how nice, trustworthy or decent you are. It is a different culture with different mindsets, expectations, body language, shared rituals, etc., and we are and never will be on the same page. On the other hand, interacting with people from my same part of the world I immediately connect and feel respected and valued.
It's called xenophobia, and it's a human instinct.
What country?
There will always have those who like weirdos
I have been with people from South America for 8 years, they are beautiful people, of course they have a different culture, but nonetheless I love them.
I’ve been selling myself on practicality and ideas such as--when it’s time to grow or just maintain inner peace. I’m also learning how to incorporate indifference for loftier outcomes (rather than sour grapes syndrome). Beyond basic needs and a few pleasures, I won’t over task myself into stress--Makes all the difference in being an “above average happy” person.
Came to gain social dominance, ended up selling vacuum pumps
I read this comment befor i watched the video and was so confused lmao
Wow! I never thought how you could ignore people's critical perspective about yourself from a salesman's pov. Loved the analogy.
Hi Orion, I don’t really like the salesman example. As this goes towards manipulation. I know manipulation with advertising is a big thing in the US, compared to Europe. Maybe it’s time to talk about good and dark rhetorics at this point. I am convinced that good rhetorics are key if you want to improve your social life, you go for this in many of your videos on self improvement. But the salesman example is dark rhetorics, which involves manipulating people. Yes, it increases your chances short term. Also in mid/long term, if done well. But when going for a dating or life advice, I am in the opinion that this is toxic, not only for relationships, but for society in general.
Thank you very much! This is probably THE BEST speech I have ever heard about the topic. The vac cleaner metaphor is very good at getting the message through😊
LoL Three-foot long rigid stainless steel pipe probably got her interest.
Now that's a real positive self image talk.
This hits different.
If you have to convince her and game her, she is not worth the headache. Self improve, be your best self, and let any willing buyers come. Be an employer and review / accept applications from women to come work for you. Don't be desperate. Set the frame and terms of the relationship. Take it or leave it attitude.
This isn't entirely true, if you keep self improving but are never putting in effort to be social things won't just come to you. You have to put in effort explicitly to get women. The younger you start doing this the better since opportunities dry up FAST
Bingo. Finally, someone who gets it. This is what I used to do in the 90s when I had affairs or relationships/whatever. This is what women liked then, and I didn't sell myself like this. I've a few admirers these days who have told me that this is what they appreciate about me. I can't do anything about most of them, though.
Now that is good advice!!!!
WAY better advice.
Yes! You've got it. Her attraction to you is not hers or your choice. Game can rapidly seduce the gamer as well as the target of his attention - thru too much buy in. So, too much fake energy, rather than holding frame and being naturally curious, quickly becomes unsustainable. However, as I recall from past experience, having very attractive friends, an active sex-life and practicing talking to anyone random at anytime about anything, dramatically improves one's attractiveness to others and chances of meeting a real diamond.
Man, I loved the paragon with the vacuum cleaner. Spot on and absolutely funny. Thank you!
Another life-changing episode, thank you Orion! This is everything ❤
Why is this everything for a woman? You don’t need any psychological tactic to win a man over other than show up and be pretty.
Asking a woman to truly and sincerely love you unconditionally forever is like trying to hit a million dollor lottery. The closest to finding this kind of love would be your self and immediate family.
But a woman becomes your immediate family once you marry her
@@kevinchoi6792 Until the divorce.
Asking?… that’s her job.. you are the prize
Unconditional love is a parent-child relationship. Research Attachment Theory.
Why are expecting women to love you unconditionally? The only person who should do that is your mother. Do you love women unconditionally? Do men love women unconditionally? No one owes you this when you go out into the world.
This is brilliant, it fills in the blanks of considerations and priority of focus for presentation and closing. Quite a positive perspective of mutual stimulation possibility of joyful suckage in the game of love.
This has to be one of your best videos. Great analogy!!
Good you didn't say that it sucked! Ha. (Vacuum joke)
You gotta boldly believe in yourself. You will not sell your product to everybody but you'll definitely sell it to somebody.
Facts!
I would never listen to any of this channel's advice, but when it comes to explaining some people's odd behaviour to me it's pure gold.
They were putting on an act!! And I, fool that I was thought they were authentic and struggled to be authentic around them!
Some people want to be lied to it seems. All they know are clichés and roles to play, and you are just their pawn. It's all about them, always.
My now husband, his family, my father's part of my family and my friends all are authentic and I will never accept "charismatic" people in my life again.
Charisma is a sign of weak character, it's exhausting because the curtain never falls, and in the end it leads to loneliness. Authentic people realize sooner or later what game is being played with them, and then they're off. Charismatic people will call the same person friend or foe according to their wishes. They don't love anyone really and nobody loves them.
If I apply for a job interview or meet someone and they dismiss me because they don't want my true self but a puppet, they're not for me.
Keep on the good work. Your advice is terrible but it explains so much. What a relief it is for an authentic person when one day they look back on an awful relationship and can say, "It was not my fault and it couldn't have gone any other way."
Avoid charismatic people. Always. That is my advice. You can't truly live and be happy with an illusion, and neither can they.
You sound bitter
@@bgbbff I learned from my mistakes. Did you?
💯🔥🔥🔥
Now I understand why I like you so much.. You have combined your incredible knowledge of physiology and your acting talent to be amazing salesman 👏
I say that with complete respect !!
I watched a ton of your videos I think this one felt the most helpful in a practical way, thanks a lot and keep up the good content ❤
5:58 So Alex Hormozi talks about this “flaws idea” too.
Interestingly, he seems to have a healthy relationships and he’s great at sales and business and communication.
I might be adding a bit of my interpretation but talks about how people should consider starting with their perceived flaws and finding people who think that those flaws are benefits. For example, a house hat’s down the road from a loud bar would be terrible for someone who wants peace and quiet but someone who loves drinking, and going out and bars - it’d be AWESOME. Find and identify the people who think that your intricacies are awesome. Love this
Only true for young or naive ones. I had plenty of (emotionally mature) women telling me to show them first hell (flaws , shortcomings etc) instead of my good sides. For men it also sets the bar low- any little improvement on his part later on is a big deal for her . Setting the bar too high (overly confident , assertive etc) in the beginning might give you some advantage with certain women initially but will backfire later one as no one can keep up with the first impression set in the beginning .
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🗣️ In initial interactions, you teach people how to feel about you through non-verbals, tone, expression, and body language.
02:09 🤝 Assume interest and educate others about their needs and desires in interactions.
03:34 💼 Believing in your product is crucial for successful sales; your belief in it influences your communication.
06:05 🛒 Recast perceived product liabilities as assets to present it in the best possible light.
08:36 🤷♂️ Focus on your actual customers and practice indifference to non-buyers' opinions to succeed in your business.
Made with HARPA AI
This is my first ever comment on any of your videos and i have only one message for you " YOU NAILED IT". Thanks a lot.
I relate. Two years ago, and currently as well, I’ve had phases in which I carried myself more seriously, less looking for approval from others. This time was triggered by standing up to my best friend when I felt he acted unfairly towards me. In between I was (am at times) very insecure although it doesn’t really show - people told me I seem self-assured. Even so, I notice a difference of respect expressed towards me between those two modes which is incredible, the difference between a mediocre, unfulfilled and a hell yeah life. Someone feels this?
Standing up to people, showing them you have a backbone and they can't use you just makes things worse IME as they ostracise you. Good luck trying to find anyone who doesn't use you either at a professional level or just friendship.
I read in Models (by Mark Manson) that people attract alike people. And it stuck with me, and the longer i think the more it makes sense. If you are honest, you would want other people to also respond back with honesty, thus the social circle will be mostly people that are up to the "honest" standard. Thus its also believable if we change our behaviour to "look" self assured even though the inside might not be true, people that are looking for such thing in other people would also be indirectly attracted and might say we look like it.
I might actually have been "THEE best" vacuum cleaner salesperson one summer, many many years ago. I once sold a $2,000+ Kirby to a customer who had zero carpet in their home. Everything you said makes perfect sense to me! 😂😂😂😂
*EVERY* woman's Tinder profile: "NO GAMES!"
_ALSO_ every woman: "you need MASSIVE amounts of 'game' to approach or talk to me"
I thought they asked for; must have a great sense of humor?
"games" and "game" are entirely different things in this context...
@@markrcca5329 Most men would never understand or want to understand that..
Pay no attention to what they say and only what they respond to.
@@trevoraugustus2249 *EXACTLY* !!!!!
Honestly---- The Vaccuum story was exhausting---- All you can do is be the best version of yourself that you can be in that moment---- How the world reacts to that is not my problem
Great analogy. Thank you for sharing sir!
Edit; love the part about flaws as perception rather than fact. That's the first time I've thought about it like this, it really helps put things into perspective.
To me this part in real life is when you make quick-witted jokes to "invert" any doubts, jabs or critiques she might have on the spot, turning "bugs" into "features".
What I learn is to have confidence. Be happy to be you and own your flaws.
Rational and secure approach.
There's coming a time very soon when women are going to have to learn game and sell themselves. It's always the person that needs something that needs to employ game
No, simps are winning.
It is what it is.
It’s going to be quite hard when a good majority of them believe that there bodies are the only thing they should bring to the "table".
@@Vantitas It's not even that, what they bring is the chance that you Might get their body on their terms. Might...
Someone is feeling resentful towards women…
I’ve always had to convince people to like me. Damn, there are women that don’t?
Really good points!!
The only problem is that, if she is fickle and shallow, another more persuasive salesmen will eventually come along and convince her to refund her original purchase for what he is offering. Remember, her window shopping tendencies have conditioned her to focus on what's missing.
You popped up on my radar very recently and I'm very impressed. You explain things fantastically and I do learn from you. I can give a like, comment, and sub to support you.
It’s currently 6 a.m., and your video was what I needed to hear.
Name a more iconic line than "I'm Dr. Orion Taraban, and this is PsycHacks, better living through psychology!"
How's it going bros my name is PEWDIEPIE!!
How about "Beam me up Scottie"?
Thank you Orion! I laughed so heartily at your bit about turning „flaws“ into „features“! I felt your points to be so witty and funny that I will not hesitate to try your recipe with the next new person I meet. Should be educational and…maybe effective.
You can sell yourself without saying a word to women.
Women love mystery, the unknown of a man. So when i meet a woman , i dont tell her how much i make, i dont tell her what i drive, i dont tell her what kind of house i live in. I stay humble.
She slowly sees the way i dress, she see the car i pick her up in, she observes what i order and eat when we go out....My life is not extravagant but very comfortable. She sees my successi a little at a time.. keep her interested. She sees the kind of life i can provide.. BUt i decide that not her, women think bcuz their pretty they deserve that life. They leadw looks.... There's much more then looks that will get me to commit to them.
That being said, obviously, you have to keep her interested w verbal judo also...
This one was GOLDEN
McDonald's catering to those that don't eat McDonald's reminds me of something Bud Light once did... 😂
Bud Light is nothing compared to purely evil Disney.
Bruh. This is the perspective I've been looking for. Whoah
I enjoyed this video because I was a Kirby salesman after I left the navy
That job sucked, didn't it.
@@themick6586 I love sales but wanted to start a family and needed health care.
I learned about people in sales, more than working in power plants
'Respect not be earned, Respect should be Given.'
I’m an introvert so woman tend to dislike me without even talking to me. Most men are intimidated by me and get nervous around me. When I walk into a room everyone goes quiet. I’m not going to be someone I’m not just to impress people.
Why do they go quiet?
I don’t know really. You would have to ask them that question.
"Being yourself", are you someone who doesn't like to learn new skills? Someone who can't learn and grow? In that case, keep on keeping on.
If not, stop BSing yourself that learning skills for how to interact with other people is "not being yourself". Learn the science and the skills and apply them your way, being you all the time.
(Said from someone who used to feel the way you do, and doesn't anymore).
I hope you're also a business coach because you've got the knowledge it takes to be one👍🏾
Compiling some knowledge here. I recently learned women don’t neurologically are incapable of making decisions without establishing a framework to make them. I used to use self deprecating humor to ease the tensions on first dates until I saw that most of them don’t get the joke, these are not unobvious things either, but it does seem mostly true that whatever it is that you tell a woman that you are is what she is going to believe. Second I learned dissolving a woman’s tension often times turns them off not on.
To add to this. I found what you get when you sooth a woman’s tension away is the line “ you seem like a really nice guy but I just don’t feel attracted”.
@@Turtleface869 Very astute observations. it seems like EVERYTHING we are told to do, is the opposite that works to 'attract' women. these things may work to keep them, but NOT to attract them.
Underrated comment.
@@inconnu4961 attraction is primal retainment is spiritual
Self deprecating jokes is a HUGE red flag.
You just taught sales more effectively than a $2500 sales course I took
Got to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you
@@nothing67440LMFAO, you answered it
“unsuccessful men don’t love themselves”
"You have absolutely no obligation to help her reject you" 💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥
Vacuums are a fungible commodity. Rather, I'd sell a unique and hard-to-find item. Discovery would work the same, but the value-proposition is the carefully tuned and refined combination. Also, deciding is costly, and you cannot just go back to any shop for any product: It's an instance of the Secretary Problem (aka Castles on the Rhine Problem) -- plus, the longer (expensive) your decision process, the more likely the opportunity vanishes and you have start it anew.
Listening to this for the second time and I am so happy I did
Well, after watching this I have a slightly better idea of how to sell a vacuum, but not much about how to teach anyone to feel about me. Basically, I think it would've translated better if you didn't use a metaphor and instead actually teach people how to feel about them.
The longer I listen to this channel the more it feels like 75%. I had some great mentors and they said 75% of what he says…but they had worked out the last 25% to actual solutions. I’m out, thanks for reminding me how blessed I was to have them.
When you have 1000 customers and no one buys your vacuum because they want a 6ft 1mil vacuum that they can’t afford , you close the shop and live a happy life all by yourself .
That works both ways, generally people are happier when they are by themselves, unless they were sold the idea that they needed to be with someone 🎉
Yes But please Take into account to be the best version of yourself + your target audience to be suitable for you! (No point selling your “vacuum” to someone who “affords” the 6ft one! Lower the price!;) - PS I work in marketing and lowering prices always increases sales
I think average people are confused about what they can largely expect from average people and their average results🤷♀️
@@BB-iy2mk yep, this. Men keep saying women only want the "expensive" vacuums but that's mostly because they only go for the types of women that want the expensive vacuums. There's plenty of women that want a cheaper one. But of course the men don't wanna lower the price so they end up with no sales. Aka lonely.
Just look around when you're at a grocery store or whatever, usually the women are walking around with cheaper vacuums, not the 6ft 1mil ones.... I hope I'm using this metaphor correctly but I think you get the point lmao.
@@limeylemon1685 I get IT very well, they are So judgemental of women to be as beautiful as possible, But honestly being beautiful is actually expensive. What they see in porn they have no idea how much IT costs, the natural looking lash extensions, the fake tans, that shiny perfect hair etc. They actually think those women were born like that 😂
Wonderful analogy. Every video of yours is a gem
Easier said than done. It could take years to learn and integrate this lesson but once you do… 😱
many business gems here thank you 💎🤯📝