Grief Talk | Sorting Through My Late Husband’s Things
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2025
- snowgrownoutdo...
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Initially, soon after my wife (of 52yrs) passed away, I got rid of most of he possessions that brought me sad/bad memories. Two years later, I went through what I found of her remaining clorhes and personal items. Those 'things' were donated them to a charitable orginization. By now, most of what material things remained of hers were just that, 'Things'.
Mind you, I still have a few of her items that bring both fond and sometimes sad memories. A burning ember of her soul remains deep within me, and has caused me to realize that the more love I give away, the more love I have to give. And, people are important, "Things" are not.
A year after my first wife passed away, I met my 'New" wife, and fell in love again. She had been married 44 years when her husband passed away. She caries a small piece of his soul with her yet.
I will go to my own grave with the love of 2 wives in my heart.
I went through her clothes before the first year and ultimately, everything we had ended up in storage for ten years. When I cleaned out the storage, I knew it was just stuff and residue from a life that wasn’t mine any longer.
The toughest realization I made, finally after 17 years, I wasn’t responsible for keeping her memory alive with others. Sounds crazy and it is, I guess but it seemed like I needed to do this. The weight of that burden was crushing what was left of me and I let it go. She is around in many ways but I stopped being the her shining light. That was a relief.
I’m almost 18 years beyond and I can say, you never really are normal or like you want to be or were. This is who you are and who you evolve to be.
I feel for you.
And realistically, she would have never wanted you to carry such a burden for 18 years. You did the right thing.
A stricken spirit..
Who can bear it?
And like my Dad always would say..
Each one knows his own pain..
He was right...
As usual.....RIP pops...
You were the best...
Thanks
7:19
My son was killed 21 years ago. Many of his things are still in a bin and his closet in the basement. My wife left me 11 years ago and some of her clothes that she kept from the first year we were married are still hanging in a closet. And there are books of hers, and birthday cards we gave her she left here in a sack, and love letters I wrote to her are down there too. I just avoid them all because the grief and pain well up inside me rapidly and I hurt too much. So I avoid so I don’t have to think about the losses and I can go forward being as happy as possible. There’s more but I’m done with it.
@ peace to you brother
I can tell that you are much stronger...Give away what you can, get rid of the rest....Then keep him nested in the bottom of your heart....
Big hugs...You're a terrific wife, Jordon. Your Love ❤️ for Zack is on a totally different level...he's a very lucky man. Communication is key! Just stay true to yourself...Zack Loves ❤️ you through it all. Have totally awesome weekend 😎 🙌
Hi JoJo, I feel it was very brave of you to share this difficult part of your life with us. I hope that sharing it assists in your healing. You are teaching others a means of working through grief. Last week I went to the funeral of a nephew of mine, the only son of my older brother. Its such a shock to have my nephew living his life, making future plans then have it all stop in an instant.
I give you my praise for taking time to grieve, and getting the courage to go through Kale's things realize you don't need or want them. I'm happy that you and Zach have each other and you're learning to be a good, farm wife.❤
I've been watching your channel for quite a long time. You've come SO FAR. You're doing amazing, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you..zach..this channel...
Thank you Jojo. ❤😊❤😊
Hi Jojo, You are doing the right thing. My late wife has been gone 11 years now after about 40 years together. I took bags and bags of her things to charities so they could be redistributed to someone who could use them. It was hard to do, but I have to admit that it was a relief when it was over and I felt like I had been freed to move on with my life. Get rid of almost everything that you have from your previous marriage. It's OK to keep some photos or small items that you can set aside. Just don't keep to much. It's OK to move on and be happy and having to much "stuff" from your previous marriage will keep a wedge between you and your next relationship. Zack seems like a really loving and just an all around nice guy. Throw yourself into the relationship you have with him and build it stronger. One day you will find that the few items you saved are no longer needed, just like the cloths you went through in this video. This is because the bond and love you and Zack have is so strong you don't need the emotional reminder of your previous marriage. I wish you much happiness and peace.
I really admire your strength. You live a difficult life, but you smile and push on. Yet you are also very blessed in so many ways. My very best to you and yours...
I know this has to be hard for you Jojo. God Bless you and keep your strength.
Hola,JoJo ,wow you are looking great and that's good you are healing ,for sure. Life is great and a new season begins. I to am a widower,lost my girlfriend. .Stay strong and focus on your new life and love the one your with👍❤️😎.Stay safe on that farm Tonka equipment,and no climbing ladders in the cold. ❤️You guys see you on your next farm girl video,remember,your not a city slicker anymore.👍😎☕🍰🖐️🌻
So sorry for your loss i.lost m y wife 7years ago and I did the same thing all.part of grieving new chapter God bless you ❤❤❤
A little over 3 years for me.
The first thing I did was throw out all her medicines. She hated them, I hated them. Gone. You also have to face the word "death".
She didn't pass away. She didn't move on. She died. She experienced death. She is now dead. Don't let words control you.
I had a little memorial a year after she died. I did that three more times, to lesser extent. That is enough. I won't keep her death day forever.
I can understand the difficulty to get rid of stuff from a late spouse, child or other relative. My father died in February 2007 at age 80 and my mom 3 years ago at age 93. There was a lot of stuff to get rid of but also kept too much. Over the years it gets easier, what's left is gradually disposed of but some things are tough to get rid of as connected with memories. From that experience I have also looked at culling much of my own stuff so no one else will have to deal with it after my passing or if end up in a nursing home. These videos about grieving especially losing a spouse at a relatively young age are a real public good and likely helps many deal with theirs. Thank you JoJo.
Tysm you woooon
After 4 years I can see your sadness dear..😢 in your 👀 👁️.. he's gone 💔 n you need to keep you life going forward 🙏...😢
God Bless you for allowing your viewers to share your life with us you are a very special lady and Zack is very lucky to have you and share you with us all. I have been a subscriber for about a year now and love all your content and being raised on a small dairy farm in Wisconsin is cool to see how you Farm is so interesting to me and your day to day life that makes your channel so great! Take care and just be yourself that's why so many people love your channel. Best wishes to the both you!!!!!!
JoJo, I don't know how to explain you. You are incredible inspiration to me. I watch every last one of your videos from start to finish and never disappointed. I have to start this spring doing what you're doing but unfortunately mine is with someone I had an awesome over three decades with until she decided she wanted it more exciting life. so it's not quite the same but I'm not sure which one hurts more. But I will keep watching you and try to get through it.🙏🙏
JoJo tha ks so much for this video. My wife passed just 8 months ago and I haven't started that part of the journey. Its hard and surrounded by her stuff is in some ways healing but the reality of it all is that so is moving on. Anyway your videos are very healing and honest thank you for sharing the journey with us that need it so.❤
Having closure for end of a chapter in life is a healthy thing
R.I.P Kale
An bless your heart Jojo
You’re a strong woman you laugh and smile everyday. It’s been three years since my wife passed away we were married for 21 years and one day her was over.
I need to do what you just did. I lost my wife 3 years ago come June. With the exception of what a daughter and granddaughter wanted all of her clothes are still in her dresser and closet. Many nice items that someone could use. I have the boxes to put them in but so far have not been able to. I have said the same things you are. Someday I will box it up and donate it.
Keep your chin up you are a very strong person and Zack loves you very much. You are such an inspiration to many of us who have also lost a mate way too soon. God Bless You.
I’m in awe of your strength and courage and so glad you found Zack to help you
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion....
You are so strong Jordan. Youve grown and are very brave to do it. I have a lot of respect for you... you have been through so much. I am happy you found love again. I know its hard but you are so strong 🤍🤗
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion...
It is healthy to process this stuff and get on with life! You have a great partner now who is patient and seems not to be pushed out of place by your past. He is truly amazing to support you through all this while making such wonderful new memories! God bless you and yours!
A radiant beauty with a soul that’s pure gold! 🌞
Seems like you are doing damn well, with something that is NEVER easy.
Jojo it will be 4 years March since my Wife passed and I still look at certain things and pictures and certain songs and 😢 . One of the hardest things is to stand in the room and watch your other half take her last breath in front of you and your son. There is a song that is played every Christmas called the Christmas Shoes I can not be in a room and hear it and not be able to either turn it off or turn the volume down if I can’t do either one of those things I am a blithering crying 😭 mess because it hits way too close to home because of my mother. There are a few songs that my Wife used to listen to that if I am in the wrong mood they will put me in tears 😭 . I know what you are going through to an extent it’s hard to do but we have to somehow go on . I wish you all the best for life and happiness especially on the Farm . PS my late Aunt and Uncle had a small farm in NJ . 😊
❤ Girl you are making an old man cry. 😢 I NEVER cry. ❤
You’re doing so much better baby. Keep it up. The first video I saw was you in that dress on the swing and the anguish I saw was heart breaking. I see you lighter now.
❤❤❤ I love you so much. I’ve prayed for you. Be well. God put something in my heart for you. 😢
I buried my 4 month old grandson a year ago. Not much can be accumulated in 4 months, but what i do have is still too painful to part with. You are a beautiful person with an amazing soul. Thank you for these videos. I’ve always loved your vulnerability. Very helpful to so many.
Aftet my Dad died I went through his possessions and clothing. I donated all of his clothing feeling strongly that someone else would be benefit from them . I considered that giving someone in need a chance to wear clothing as recycling. Almost as if an organ donor would keep another person alive. Recycling helps someone in need.
Stay strong stay positive, a new day is always good to be alive your power is inside your self to heal 👍🦘🇦🇺
Tysm you woooon
Don't ever "get rid of stuff"; "pass it along".
That's what I tell myself as I thin out my late wife's personal effects.
Some items do get "passed along" to "long term storage"...
The landfill.
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Grieve YOUR way! There is no right way or wrong way! Whatever you do and whenever you are ready to move on with things, it's your decision and no one else! Just do what's in your heart!
Hi, your core strength from within and new partner, are both bringing you through this I think.
As a subscriber, all I can do is offer my sincerest wishes that what you are bravely doing, will allow you to move on.
Jonny ☯️🌱
Mi vida...Jojo... me hace feliz verte...sanando...tienes que darte una nueva oportunidad...eres hermosa...joven... llena de vida...y a él... acunalo en tu corazón...TE ADORO!!!
It's all part of the healing process Jojo
It something one had to eventually do. My mother passed many, many years ago and dad kept her things around. Finally he packed up most of her things but did keep a few pieces of jewelry and lots of picture of mom. Now when dad passed our family got rid of his stuff Noone wanted soon after he had passed. It's a very hard thing to do but it does open the door to be able to move on. We keep their memories with us forever and that's what really counts!!! Wishing you all the best always!!!
Nicely done Miss Snow, that's how to do it, a little bit at a time, just like life, one day at a time. We all have to keep moving forward but it's important to remember the past, good or bad that's how we got where we are in life. 😊
Jojo, you throw away what want because you will always have the memories and that’s what’s important, he would want you to get on with life and be happy ❤
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion....
Thank you, Jo Jo. I have four grown children. I think it's easier with their help to sort through things. Two years later, I'm still looking through her belongings.
Also, Tear mender Fabric Adhesive is the best.
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You my dear are awesome. Watched a few of your videos and your new beau is such a lucky man. You will get through this because the man your with will get you there. The only thing I see now is total knock me out of these pants love 😊❤❤❤❤❤
Tysm you woooon
I really understand your pain. I lost my wife of 29 years 4 years ago it's still hard😢
My family is still going through my late father’s things. He passed away in 2010. The problem now is that my mother has dementia and we have come to the realization that memories have an expiration date with her. It makes things very difficult when going through my fathers stuff because she want to clean out and has forgotten the significance of certain items. It makes going through his things much harder. But I’m glad to see you are stepping in the right direction!!!! God bless!!
I love you Jojo I lost my daughter sometime back I know how you feel, don't give up on all those things just use your head and God will provide😊❤😊
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion...
"Something is Someone's Everything." Means one thing, no matter how small or insignificant, means more than anything else in the world.
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion...
Hello dear, I glad you can smile while doing it. I didn’t lose mine like that but I lost her just over 10 years ago, I took a different route and burned everything I could find right away. The only thing I have of hers is our 2 beautiful daughters, but now I’m going through it again it didn’t make it to the ring 💍 but was close. My mind is still cluttered and her memory that I’m trying to erase . Good luck with your partner upstairs
Jojo im sorry for your loss i have also lost a loveone it takes awhile to get over ithang in there kid
That was tough for me to watch, I can't imagine the strength it took to share. Just know that Kale was coming through to say hello. You'll be okay little one, it's part of the journey God put you on. You're strong and you're okay. Be well, you're in my prayers. Be blessed. Zack is great. I hope God blesses you as he has blessed us with you.❤
There are people in West North Carolina, and Eastern Tennessee that might be happy to get whatever you send. That's a very difficult task. Good for you.
Good for you Jo Jo love that swing you have (from a very early video) a journey only a few people have traveled. We all have lost loved ones my story we have on the campus of OU Norman, Oklahoma called memorial bench program. After our parents past mother 1982 father 2012 my older brother I purchased a memorial bench with a bronze plat saying on it. A lot of memorial benches are all over The University of Oklahoma OU. Now when meeting my son daughter and other people, we always meet at our "WEBER MEMORIAL BENCH".
Keep posting Jo Jo, one day at a time. Be Safe this 2025 year in Kansas.
You’re a very brave girl. Every respect to you. I equally found it hard to go through my wife’s belongings after she passed and found it very very difficult to part with her belongings, especially personal things like her clothes.
Much respect to you ❤
As long as there is no issues with anyone about you holding on to certain items, it's OK, when you lose someone like that it's ok to still have feelings for long after their gone, it's no different than losing your parents, THEIR gone but you still care about and love them, it's OK if you want to keep a few of his things to keep your love for him alive, there's nothing wrong with that, be strong, those wedding pictures are definitely a Keepsake, I see no reason for throwing those away. ☺
I'm sorry to hear that sweetheart 😢 how are you doing today ❤it takes time for that to 😊
❤ always.. and I understand.. 🙏 it's never easy.. and no one's to judge.. you're hearts as big as the world.. ❤❤
She’s stunning and her grace shines through in every video! 💛
After my brother died in a SCUBA accident, I helped my sister-in-law clean out his possessions. She wanted to keep most of his stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her to get rid of everything. When I got home, I felt terrible and was in a bad mood! I bought my wife a bouquet of flowers and told her I was going to be an asshole the rest of the day. I went to the basement to mourn his loss. I cried, threw stuff, prayed for his soul, my sister-in-law, my wife and for me. I also polished off the better part of a bottle of tequila. The next morning, I emerged in a better mood. We all grieve in our own way, so never apologize to anyone for grieving.
You're a strong lady. Always do what you feel in your heart. Going through your loved ones things is never easy. Everything has memories , so you have to do what you feel is right. Your decision and only yours and not any one else's decisions
God Bless you
One of the best things you can do after a loved one passes is find someone that can and may need their clothes. Unless it's a special piece of clothing then giving it to someone in need makes it just a little bit easier.
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my daughter has passed on 15 years ago, and i still cant take it upon myself to go through her stuff, it is simply too painful!!, good luck to you, and you are right, time waits for no person
Jojo is amazing. Its a win for her. It's not easy to deal with a loss and grief. Except life don't stop. You just have to deal with the loss at your time.
Jojo , my daughters husband died a little over a year ago. Watching my daughter get through it. Still has his things, pictures everywhere. Guess those who have never experienced this don’t truly understand. Do it anyway you feel you are ready to.
Hey älä heitä roskiin hyviä vaatteita.lahpoita pelastusarmeijalle tai punaiselleristille näin teet päivän hyvän työn tavarat menee hyvään tarpeseen,,,
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion....
I am so happy you was able to deal with your late husband s things, I am sure it's hard, my mother died in 2015 and it was hard as well and as you said, you need talk about it, finally get of there things, you can deal with it, but you will never forge about him, I am glad you have zach, he is giving you time to deal with it , it's very nice of him, have a great day!!❤❤
Hello dear, I glad you can smile while doing it. I didn’t lose mine like that but I lost her just over 10 years ago, I took a different route and burned everything I could find right away. The only thing I have of hers is our 2 beautiful daughters, but now I’m going through it again it didn’t make it to the ring 💍 but was close. My mind is still cluttered and her memory that I’m trying to erase
That has to be really tough. Good Luck and Great Attitudes! I know if I go first, I just want her to do what she needs to do to smile every day.
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I can't offer advice on grief, I feel I would seek you out when I need help. You're an inspiration and will always keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
You are very strong doing this. God bless you and stay strong. ❤
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion...
Good job JoJo! That’s got to be hard! But you are BLESSED to have Zack! And you are moving on with life and putting out some GREAT videos! Keep up the GREAT work! THANKS!👏👏
Prayers of peace & comfort to you, his family and y'all's close friends that new him! 🙏🏼✝️🕊️🌅❤️
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion...
I gave my wife’s clothes to a shelter for abused women. That gave me peace & joy!
It's a tough thing to do. I had to do the same thing with my wife and now I'm remarried and I am happy. Good luck to you Jordan. Everyone has to do it on their own time.
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion....
People who say time is a great healer and talking absolute rubbish. I lost my beautiful wife in 1980 and I think about her every day. I still love her and miss her.
You are strength and grace portrayed. Your love for him will long outlast any picture in a frame
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You have a great new man in my opinnion
I’m living in my parent’s house surrounded by their things. Relics of lives long lived. I have no idea what to do with it all. Thanks for sharing.
It could be painful to clear late spouse's things. The more you articulate / express yourself the better it is for you. Life have to move on. You have many many great years ahead of you.
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion....
Lots of love and prayer to you JoJo………❤🙏 you are strong and the farm suits you well 😊😊😊😊😊 god bless…….
I’m sorry you had to go through that, but your beauty shines through! Thank you for the awesome video!
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Keep going, its hard but his love never dies. He wants you to keep going, smile and remember . You have a bright future, he would want nothing else for you
You are an amazeing young lady❤
I'm so glad to see you getting rid of some of that stuff. I know how hard that is. I have useless stuff that belonged to my Grandfather and I just keep hanging on to it because it was my Grandfather's. Dumb but true.
You know he would be laughing at you keeping all that stuff for 4 years!! 😂 But he would have kept the same things!! Just smile and remember the good times! Keep Zach on his toes!!😂😂
Oh Jordan..... I certainly know what you are going through. I have so many things that were my son and daughters that I just can't part with because that's all I have left of them! So many clothes and toys and things that they had. What do we do with them? I just can't bring myself to throwing them in a garbage heap or dumpster. My heart aches still after all these years!
As always I will continue to pray for you and your loss of Cal... Love you dear!
Smiling through the tears🙏♥️
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That took a lot of energy and emotions, you are a strong woman, you will move on
5 years after my wife went home after 37 years together. It burns me everyday. They will never ever leave us. Its hard, stay tight with god. The only refuge.
That’s awesome. I’m so proud of you.
Many blessings and prayers for you stay strong 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Peace, strength, love and many many blessings Jojo 💜
Good for you! That's a big step! I don't know you or Kale, but I believe he wouldn't want you to suffer because of his accident. Moving on does not mean you didn't love him.
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion...
A good friend of mine in his 70s lost his wife Oct 31, 2024. They’d been together for nearly 30 years.
It's hard to throw out our projects are kids made gifts or items difficult to part with, and donating gives us relief we're helping someone else
Thank you again Brought tears to my eyes as did your thank you and heart emoji from last week. I’ve never used a emoji cause I’m supposed to be tough. I Shared your reaching out to me with my friend who sent me a heart emoji on same day and told her that I don’t send emojis cause my phone dosent have enough pixels in it to do my feelings justice. Keep u the great content
I still have a bunch of my late wife's stuff and it wasn't until my mother passed away my father learned how difficult it is to go through it all twice.
One thing to think about, especially in her situation, is if her present companion can get any use out of her late husbands stuff. At the end of the day it's just stuff taking up space so you might as well get some use out of it.
Letting go is tough and you know when the time is right 🙏🏽👍🏽
Its not easy lots of memories, but you look strong enough right now, very happy for you, I had to do that with my late wife's stuff.
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion....
You are a wonderful person Jordan, WE love you so much!
You always inspire me Jojo have a wonderful day and keep up with your smile Jojo 😂❤
thanks. I did the same thing, Still have a bunch more to get through. just gotta wait till the right time and its not possible to know when that is till it happens.
I would prefer if we have a private discu-ssion....
You are amazing, I'm so sorry you lost your husband 💔