@@JenMuse08Another 60yo who just discovered him recently Shame our medical/mental health system, usa, is so fubar this is too many people's only help . So thankful for the hard work he has done
My goodness…………. I’m literally on the verge of tears because this is the first time I’ve felt someone truly gets what I’ve been going through for the past 38 years, all alone. Hearing this message today, I don’t feel so alone. I feel supported. Thank you Tim. 🤍🙏🏼
Let it out. You deserve to feel everything that you have been holding on to. I have been bawling like a baby and I see that this comments is two years ago. I hope you are in a better place two years on. I am sending everyone who has CPTSD so much healing ❤️🩹 I’m also a survivor and I don’t think people understand the impacts of so many things that we have to go through as a result of stuff that was either done to us or loss that we had no choice or control over. ❤❤❤
I am watching this 2 years after it was posted so happy I found your series on recovery. I just made 35 years clean from all mood and mind-altering substances and it really doesn't get any easier. This is giving me some great insight. I have had great loss in the past 4 years. This is giving me some great Insight. Thank you
This was so helpful, thanks Tim. I wish I had heard this kind of content 30 years ago! Better late than never though. Yes, it's a tough journey. I am late diagnosed autistic also several mental health issues and going through menopause. I live a very quiet life with some outside support but even they don't fully get this greiving proccess/many loses and that is one of many triggers. I go through all the various emotions, get overwhelmed and shutdown but eventually come back to some small feelings of gratitude. I know this isn't a quick fix but is so important to me in my life, looking after myself the best I can and being forgiving to myself mostly as I would be to others but also having firm boundaries and managing other people's dislike of that, how it effects me emotionally. Yes learning is a good help for me. I am learning about how complex trauma affects my brain and what parts are functioning when I am disregulated. Yes I've had suppossed support people giving me unsolicited advice and hurtful comments which triggers resentments I'm working through. When calmer I gently try to educate people/stand up for myself either by my actions or written communication from a distance if it's too overwhelming to do it face to face. I am respecting myself much better. I'm willing to stick at this.
There is too much resentment in my family's story connected to our mom. The more resentment connected to her the worse she gets. She may never see her behavior. She may be incapable of it. She got her negative from her past. I'm able to have compassion, but my sibs are not. I'm praying for mutual forgiveness and tolerance for all of us. The resentments compound daily. I need to heal and protect myself from this war and I am powerless over others!! Without a spiritual practice I spiral. I must bathe daily in Grace and forgiveness. I need truth. The list you mentioned can bring self pity!! I can't afford that. Yes, loss and grief! I need today to be living in the solution. Ultimately I am responsible for my thoughts, words, and actions.
I also have a similar experience with my adoptive mother. She’s pathologically narcissistic, and for my own well-being I had to terminate communication and our relationship. I mourned the loss of the relationship, but I have no regrets.
Thanks! Love this series and your others about CPTSD so much. You are doing a tremendous service; words are not adequate to truly express my gratitude.
This sounds terrible but I was relieved that he passed. He didn't suffer. It was all over in 20 minutes. Of course I was shocked and saddened but the last couple of years he was increasingly critical. Constantly complaining. I had suffered from depression which they told me was inherited. I had raised my hands to Heaven 2 days before and cried "Lord , I don’t know how much longer I can take this" I DO NOT BELIEVE GOD TOOK HIM TO RELIEF MY STRESS. I'm not a person with that kind of pull with the Man Up Above. He was a wonderful kindly person to everyone else but me. He was wonderful when I married but not thoughtful or romantic. He didn’t even book us a room the night after the wedding. Completely oblivious to what his responsibilities were. Never asked anyone what's next. He was a Naval officer graduated from the Academy and I was delirious. It wasn't until he died and the dream came crashing down. He never was that guy I had in my head. He was never the guy I dated. The truth had been creeping up on me for many years. I continued to hope. Several months before he passed away he said out of a clear blue sky , "You realize it's all about me. " I acknowledged I knew and that's when I became even more depressed. He denied later he ever said it. His funeral was packed. I would never tell anyone including my family what he was really like. Don't want to spoil his "rep". Everyone thought I was the luckiest girl. Don't want to spoil that impression either but I can tell you guys. I miss him and I don't. 😢
Thank you! Of all the counselors I’ve gone to, not one of them had a clue. Not one. You are a true God-send for those of us going through this. Thank you doesn’t begin to cover it but right now that’s all I’ve got. So again, Thank you!
Utterly helpful and encouraging...really liked the accepting limitations section...extremely helpful and encouraging..as someone who has had a problem with boundaries it helps me to see the blessing of setting myself boundaries
I tell god everyday please take me home cause my mind and life is crushed from the horror mother that i had i just cannot get over what she did to me she destroyed my enrire life im struggling with so much hate towards her this day lost my life healthy relationships and even ny own kids cause the second abuser i met turned my kids against me all i feel is crime after crime done to me by my 2 abusers i have no support
The more I learn about childhood trauma, the more it looks to me like healthy non-traumatic childhood is a utopian construct that has very little with real life. To have a non-traumatic childhood, human society must be completely different. It would mean people would have to be rational with the ability to love and feel compassion. Well, it's just not possible because in stressful situations, we're still ruled by our amygdala, which exhibits in 4 behaviors (fight, flight, freeze of fawning response). To change things, proper patterns of behavior and techniques of dealing with stress and abuse should be thought at every level of schooling and maybe even in every workplace, but then again, it might be construed as control or oppression. Humans are inherently afraid of things they don't understand
Thank U Tim for your brilliant method of expressing my whole life mess in such a beautiful well assessed way. I always felt it was Me who was messed up...But it wasn't my fault...none of it...! I was just a kid following a dysfunctional tribe of family members who were scatter brain also following a hierarchy group of idiots!
I have to point out, yes, I grew up with unsafe things...but my family wasn't necessarily the unsafe thing. As ppl who grew up severely abused, the DID have wrong coping and behavioral mechanisms, and so yes, at times I felt unsafe. But MOST of my damage came from peers and teachers in my school. Sad facts.
I wonder if anyone has done anything on the effects of trauma done by outside influences that can alter and degrade children's ability to trust adults.
I’ve seen several videos on CPTSD a lot I can identify with; my question can you relate how this diagnosis of CPTSD works with people who have commodities such as BPD and other personality disorders?
32:17 I dont understand this. Of course this is reality. You need structure or a support group or your planned meditation to survive the day because of all the triggers. What else would one do? And going through life without a goal or sonething, you wake up a 50 year old woman with no insurance or family or your time to have children is over. You need to plan things. And getting triggered before an event means you need to do sth to calm down before the depression makes you longterm not functioning.
I am also flying solo at age 45. I have lost all of my favourite safe people to passing away at people like my Mum when I was 15 and my sister and recently my fiance all in tragic circumstances. I didn’t even think about anything else being a loss and now I am in a state of shock. CPTSD from childhood abuse and abandonment is enough and now all of these things that are considered as loss has hit me like a brick wall. This is extremely sobering but if we want to heal then this is the way to go about it. I am so grateful for finding this wonderful human. I am sending everyone so much healing ❤️🩹
I lost my home. People are mean. It has been 3 years and I am not getting better. I struggle to survive. My life has been full of loss. The end is bullshitt. It really sounds like your life is ruined. People did this to me.
So sick of carrying the guilt for being weak as a child. I constantly go down the rabbit hole of you should have done X. I was a child expecting a child to know to do certain things is ridiculous. Yet I still feel the guilt for allowing myself to be treated that way. Makes me sick.
![F.HERO Ft. JSPKK x ลำไย ไหทองคำ x M-PEE - ไม่สนิทบิดหมด (Thai Riders Anthem) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kPJZ0UihBfk/mqdefault.jpg)
It stinks to have to give these things to your Inner Child when you are 64 years old. But hey, awareness and progress, no matter how slight, are gold.
I'm 69 lol
Yes!! I’m 60 and just discovered Tim Fletcher. So grateful.
@@JenMuse08Another 60yo who just discovered him recently Shame our medical/mental health system, usa, is so fubar this is too many people's only help . So thankful for the hard work he has done
63 and three months into Tim's LIFT Program. Best gift I ever gave myself, hardest thing I've ever done.
This man's knowledge is helping Humanity heal!!!!
I wish TIM could personally be my therapist! HE GETS IT!
He gives permission to be your own adult therapist
My goodness…………. I’m literally on the verge of tears because this is the first time I’ve felt someone truly gets what I’ve been going through for the past 38 years, all alone. Hearing this message today, I don’t feel so alone. I feel supported. Thank you Tim. 🤍🙏🏼
Ditto
I saw you posted this comment a few years ago. Hope you are doing well as we head into 2024💖
Hope the best for you, you're not alone! ❤
Let it out. You deserve to feel everything that you have been holding on to. I have been bawling like a baby and I see that this comments is two years ago. I hope you are in a better place two years on. I am sending everyone who has CPTSD so much healing ❤️🩹 I’m also a survivor and I don’t think people understand the impacts of so many things that we have to go through as a result of stuff that was either done to us or loss that we had no choice or control over. ❤❤❤
I truly get your point.
I am watching this 2 years after it was posted so happy I found your series on recovery. I just made 35 years clean from all mood and mind-altering substances and it really doesn't get any easier. This is giving me some great insight. I have had great loss in the past 4 years. This is giving me some great Insight. Thank you
This was so helpful, thanks Tim. I wish I had heard this kind of content 30 years ago! Better late than never though. Yes, it's a tough journey. I am late diagnosed autistic also several mental health issues and going through menopause. I live a very quiet life with some outside support but even they don't fully get this greiving proccess/many loses and that is one of many triggers. I go through all the various emotions, get overwhelmed and shutdown but eventually come back to some small feelings of gratitude. I know this isn't a quick fix but is so important to me in my life, looking after myself the best I can and being forgiving to myself mostly as I would be to others but also having firm boundaries and managing other people's dislike of that, how it effects me emotionally. Yes learning is a good help for me. I am learning about how complex trauma affects my brain and what parts are functioning when I am disregulated. Yes I've had suppossed support people giving me unsolicited advice and hurtful comments which triggers resentments I'm working through. When calmer I gently try to educate people/stand up for myself either by my actions or written communication from a distance if it's too overwhelming to do it face to face. I am respecting myself much better. I'm willing to stick at this.
There is too much resentment in my family's story connected to our mom. The more resentment connected to her the worse she gets. She may never see her behavior. She may be incapable of it. She got her negative from her past. I'm able to have compassion, but my sibs are not. I'm praying for mutual forgiveness and tolerance for all of us. The resentments compound daily.
I need to heal and protect myself from this war and I am powerless over others!! Without a spiritual practice I spiral. I must bathe daily in Grace and forgiveness. I need truth. The list you mentioned can bring self pity!! I can't afford that. Yes, loss and grief! I need today to be living in the solution. Ultimately I am responsible for my thoughts, words, and actions.
I also have a similar experience with my adoptive mother. She’s pathologically narcissistic, and for my own well-being I had to terminate communication and our relationship. I mourned the loss of the relationship, but I have no regrets.
Thanks! Love this series and your others about CPTSD so much. You are doing a tremendous service; words are not adequate to truly express my gratitude.
This sounds terrible but I was relieved that he passed. He didn't suffer. It was all over in 20 minutes. Of course I was shocked and saddened but the last couple of years he was increasingly critical. Constantly complaining. I had suffered from depression which they told me was inherited. I had raised my hands to Heaven 2 days before and cried "Lord , I don’t know how much longer I can take this" I DO NOT BELIEVE GOD TOOK HIM TO RELIEF MY STRESS. I'm not a person with that kind of pull with the Man Up Above. He was a wonderful kindly person to everyone else but me. He was wonderful when I married but not thoughtful or romantic. He didn’t even book us a room the night after the wedding. Completely oblivious to what his responsibilities were. Never asked anyone what's next. He was a Naval officer graduated from the Academy and I was delirious. It wasn't until he died and the dream came crashing down. He never was that guy I had in my head. He was never the guy I dated. The truth had been creeping up on me for many years. I continued to hope. Several months before he passed away he said out of a clear blue sky , "You realize it's all about me. " I acknowledged I knew and that's when I became even more depressed. He denied later he ever said it. His funeral was packed. I would never tell anyone including my family what he was really like. Don't want to spoil his "rep". Everyone thought I was the luckiest girl. Don't want to spoil that impression either but I can tell you guys. I miss him and I don't. 😢
My heart goes out to you because “same”
Thank you! Of all the counselors I’ve gone to, not one of them had a clue. Not one. You are a true God-send for those of us going through this. Thank you doesn’t begin to cover it but right now that’s all I’ve got.
So again, Thank you!
I feel as if you have been inside my life and completely understand me❤
Thanks Tim. This is so needed.
Ill say it again. These videos are incredible.
Thank you so much this is very helpful for my childhood trauma. 😢
Listening to you is wonderfully healing to so many hurts. Thank you..
Me too, Audrey, me too.
Well stated.
Wishing you well. 💗🤗
Utterly helpful and encouraging...really liked the accepting limitations section...extremely helpful and encouraging..as someone who has had a problem with boundaries it helps me to see the blessing of setting myself boundaries
One thousand thanks. I really needed that part about Joseph after all those memories
oh my god. thank you so much. you’re a blessing
I tell god everyday please take me home cause my mind and life is crushed from the horror mother that i had i just cannot get over what she did to me she destroyed my enrire life im struggling with so much hate towards her this day lost my life healthy relationships and even ny own kids cause the second abuser i met turned my kids against me all i feel is crime after crime done to me by my 2 abusers i have no support
I'm sorry you are going through this. I have been through something very similar.
Thank you Tim
The more I learn about childhood trauma, the more it looks to me like healthy non-traumatic childhood is a utopian construct that has very little with real life. To have a non-traumatic childhood, human society must be completely different. It would mean people would have to be rational with the ability to love and feel compassion. Well, it's just not possible because in stressful situations, we're still ruled by our amygdala, which exhibits in 4 behaviors (fight, flight, freeze of fawning response). To change things, proper patterns of behavior and techniques of dealing with stress and abuse should be thought at every level of schooling and maybe even in every workplace, but then again, it might be construed as control or oppression. Humans are inherently afraid of things they don't understand
Definitely subscribed. Thank you.
Thank U Tim for your brilliant method of expressing my whole life mess in such a beautiful well assessed way. I always felt it was Me who was messed up...But it wasn't my fault...none of it...! I was just a kid following a dysfunctional tribe of family members who were scatter brain also following a hierarchy group of idiots!
Thank you!
Great video
Hurts 💔
Thank you 🙏
This was ocerwhelming hahaha but glad i heard it 🙌🏽🙏
I have to point out, yes, I grew up with unsafe things...but my family wasn't necessarily the unsafe thing. As ppl who grew up severely abused, the DID have wrong coping and behavioral mechanisms, and so yes, at times I felt unsafe. But MOST of my damage came from peers and teachers in my school.
Sad facts.
I wonder if anyone has done anything on the effects of trauma done by outside influences that can alter and degrade children's ability to trust adults.
Felt the hurt
I’ve seen several videos on CPTSD a lot I can identify with; my question can you relate how this diagnosis of CPTSD works with people who have commodities such as BPD and other personality disorders?
You have one of Tim Fletcher topics here on youtube. And it is all about BPD.
Man, this complex trauma stuff is... um, complex.
#10 is the hardest thing for me…
So true😢
Unrealistic to think that any of us is just gonna be blessed like Joseph, though.
Ye of little faith. Be of good cheer,He has overcome the world . Believe.
Thank you, trying to believe! It's hard when you've been through so much from @@mknels1299
Tim never says "um"
32:17 I dont understand this. Of course this is reality. You need structure or a support group or your planned meditation to survive the day because of all the triggers. What else would one do? And going through life without a goal or sonething, you wake up a 50 year old woman with no insurance or family or your time to have children is over. You need to plan things. And getting triggered before an event means you need to do sth to calm down before the depression makes you longterm not functioning.
I am also flying solo at age 45. I have lost all of my favourite safe people to passing away at people like my Mum when I was 15 and my sister and recently my fiance all in tragic circumstances. I didn’t even think about anything else being a loss and now I am in a state of shock. CPTSD from childhood abuse and abandonment is enough and now all of these things that are considered as loss has hit me like a brick wall. This is extremely sobering but if we want to heal then this is the way to go about it. I am so grateful for finding this wonderful human. I am sending everyone so much healing ❤️🩹
I lost my home. People are mean.
It has been 3 years and I am not getting better. I struggle to survive.
My life has been full of loss.
The end is bullshitt. It really sounds like your life is ruined.
People did this to me.
I think Joseph depended on God the whole time. 😊
So sick of carrying the guilt for being weak as a child. I constantly go down the rabbit hole of you should have done X.
I was a child expecting a child to know to do certain things is ridiculous. Yet I still feel the guilt for allowing myself to be treated that way.
Makes me sick.
Go raibh mile maith agat
It doesn’t worth it at all
Thank you. I’m listening.