Moving to a New City Alone? Coping With Uncertainty, Fear & Loneliness
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
- Feeling scared and anxious about when you move to a new city is normal. Starting over is hard, especially when you don’t know the people, neighborhood, streets or customs. If you're moving to a different country you may not know the language, culture, food or norms. Even if you move with your family, you have no external social connections.
Maybe you're scared to leave your home, or worried about feeling homesick. Moving to a new city is a major life decision that can be stressful and scary. But, it's also one of the most exciting moves you can make.
I didn't just move to a new city - I moved to a different country (Africa!). Here's how I overcame my fears and settled into life in a new place alone. Feeling anxious and even scared to move to an unfamiliar place is normal.
My two biggest experiences with moving to a new home and starting over involved Africa and Canada. Moving to Africa alone was hard. I moved to Nairobi, Kenya to teach at an International school with an American curriculum (Rosslyn Academy). I taught there for three years, which was the scariest move I ever made.
The second biggest move of my life was when I moved back to Canada after my teaching contract was over. Moving to Vancouver alone was weird but I was coming home. That moving day wasn't nearly as scary as moving to Africa, but it felt overwhelming to start over.
Whether you're saying "I'm scared to leave my home" or "I want to move out", my tips will encourage you.
You are not alone if you're scared of moving to a new city alone. Remember that no matter where you go, you will make new friends and meet people who care about you. In fact, you already have! Watch my video, and you'll see. :-)
Take good care of yourself, no matter what city or country you move to!
With joy and delight,
Laurie
Here are 7 tips for balancing practicalities and intuition when you're relocating: Moving to a New City Alone? Balancing Logic & Intuition blossomtips.com/moving-to-a-new-city-alone-intuition-logic/
thank you
Moving 6 states away soon! So glad I have an adventurers heart!
If you can move to a new city, you aren't afraid of relocating.
Thank you for your words, this is what I needed to hear as I am 4 days away from moving from the USA to Sweden. I have never even moved out of my state. This is big for me. Thank you for the reminder of why I’m doing this!
Oh wow, the universe really led me to your video! 42, single, in between jobs and want to sell everything, downsize and move to New Orleans. It is all happening quick and I’m absolutely terrified and have so many doubts, but that inner knowing IS hard to ignore. I have been telling people, I would prefer not to move, but I NEED to do this move. When you said “What I was scared of happening, did not happen”. Those really were the comforting words I needed to hear in this moment. The fears I have are comparable and was nice to hear your story! Loved this video and, yes, even 4:44!! God is GOOD! Thank you for sharing! ✨💜🙏
I just move today. Was feeling PANICKED when i founs your video. Your voice itself is healing. Thank you thank you thank you. Bless you heart!!! ❤❤❤
May this new chapter of your life be filled with adventure, acceptance, and joy! And may your faith and trust be stronger than ever. xo
@@LaurieSheBlossoms thank you so much 🙏❤
Choose to be curious! Ok that’s it, curiosity over fear! Thank you so much! And the ego thing too…very helpful! Peace
Laurie has a beautiful positive energy and like someone else commented a kindred free spirit. I am soon to embark at nearly 60 on relocating to another state knowing not a soul. For me the practicalities are more stressful than the end result. I have also lived in a number of countries as an expat over the years so very adaptable and embrace adventure and a new chapter in my life. You do become more risk averse as you get older though so the anxieties can be greater.
I would just urge anyone who is considering this to take the plunge with fear knowing moving out of your comfort zone can only be a good thing. I am a woman of faith so do not feel alone anyway. Thanks Laurie for your encouragement.
Thank you, Coco - what a lovely comment! You made my day :-) Yes, I tend to get more risk-adverse as I get older, because age-related health concerns are starting to creep up on me. That's why we have to have our adventures now, when we're young and more resilient than we'll be in a few years.
Best wishes, warm thoughts and prayers as you move to your new place. I have a feeling you'll make friends fast! If not, you can always visit me here :-)
xo
I love the suggestion to "be curious". I am doing this now. Instead of fearing, I am going to be curious and do it afraid. Thank you.
I'm glad you're here, Renee! I'm curious about you :-) Are you moving to a new city, or considering a life change?
Every time I remind myself to be curious instead of fearful, I remember that old saying: "Curiosity killed the cat...but satisfaction brought her back." To me, this means that being curious may lead me into challenging and even difficult situations, but it'll be worth it! Because if you don't try, you never know what could have been.
xo
@@LaurieSheBlossoms - thank you for your response. My being curious is not about moving at this time, it's about launching out from a suppressed relationship. Well - actually a couple of relationships. One that has been a struggle because I fell in love with a man and a couple of months afterwards, found out he was married. I suspected that there might be a girlfriend other than me but Never dreamed he was married. That is how I found You... searching for answers about how to get out of a relationship where women fell in love with married men. I felt like I was "tricked". I would have never dated him one time if I had known, but he lied to me. and then continued to say he was leaving her. A year later... nothing has changed. Except my desire to move on from living in fantasy land with him and to let go completely. I am very curious as to how I can engage in my own life and do things I love and maybe do those afraid so I can let go of him. It's been a process.
Holy moly I needed to hear that!
My husband of 32yrs passed away from brain cancer 7yrs ago, father passed 1yr ago from old age, mother died in house fire a month after my father passed had to put my elderly dog of 17yrs down same day as the fire. I turned 60 and I’m in the weirdest place in my life have 7 yrs before I can retire I feel alone, lost & confused. I don’t want to stay where I currently live after 40+ yrs. I’d love to find my place & peace. I’ve researched jobs in other states, possibly living in an rv but so much fear of the unknown. I’ve been raised to stay inside your comfort zone & never venture outside of it. I do want to go outside my comfort zone, I want to move but feel stuck. I’ve watched so many TH-cam videos but still feel fear of making a huge mistake & fear of the uncertain. Don’t know where to go or what to do & it sucks. Hope I can find my place one day. Watching other’s conquer their fear & seeing it can be accomplished is awesome kudos to you all who went outside your comfort zone!
Life has thrown some incredibly tough challenges your way! To have faced the loss of a spouse, parents, and a loyal companion is a testament to your resilience. Your willingness to share your struggles is not only brave but a powerful step towards healing.
It's clear you're in the midst of a profound journey of self-discovery. Fear and feeling stuck is normal. I, too, am often scared of making a mistake. But I can't let that stop me because I'll never know in advance what is a mistake. I'll never know if the other path really would have been better, even if it seems like I made the wrong choice on this path.
It's okay to feel lost and confused. Life can be a maze of emotions, especially after enduring such profound losses. Give yourself the grace and time to navigate through it all.
Change, as daunting as it may seem, can also be a beautiful opportunity for growth. The fact that you're considering new places, job possibilities, and even life in an RV shows a remarkable courage to embrace the unknown.
Take small steps. Start by exploring your options and envisioning the life you want. You've already shown resilience beyond measure, and I believe you have the strength to conquer this fear too.
Remember, finding your place and peace is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the uncertainty with an open heart, and trust that each step forward is progress. You're not alone in this - your courage inspires not only me but others who may be facing their own challenges.
And on the days when doubt creeps in, know that it's okay to seek support. Whether from friends, family, or even professionals, there's strength in reaching out.
Sending you love and positive vibes on your journey,
Laurie
@@LaurieSheBlossoms Thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad I came across your videos you inspire me! I applied for a job in another state taking care of adults with intellectual disabilities, after several interviews I was invited out there for a meet and greet with the staff and get familiar with the position to see if this will be a good fit for both myself & the facility. After my visit they will make their final decision as they have many applicants that have applied. It’s an amazing place set on 550 acre farm in the Virginia mountains where I would live & work. I’m nervous but excited, outside my comfort zone. Flying out today to explore this new adventure! Thank you again, you really gave me the nudge I needed! Hugs!
Lovely video and tips and the book ..while i am in a new city
This was really helpful. I feel hopeful. I just moved out alone for the first time to a new city. I feel better thank you! This video is 4:44 minutes. Sending love to you and everyone! Change is natural change is good!💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
Thank you so much, i feel less scared after this.
You are full of love and light. God bless you.
also never plan moving on the base of beign able to find a partner or not
Liked this vid as well as one on taking a chance... I'm 60 and I'm being kicked out of my rental of 22 years and I'm just so freaked out. One option is a new building for 55+ Seniors @ 1700/mothat I would move into ( I'm 60 but the thought of living with seniors makes me feel like I'm old and retired ...yet I'm not- I'm still pretty youthful..). it's the only affordable segment here in Vancouver BC... Vancouver in Toronto have some of the craziest rental prices now in all of North America: a one bedroom here in an apt is usually $2,500/ now...crazy and scary if you're single middle income earner like myself as I takes up a lot of your income... so what you said as well as my therapist has said has been liberating, namely, I don't have to make any choice a stifling, scary "all or nothing" decision... I don't have to catastrophize and just paralyze myself thinking wrongly that if I take this one rental and I don't like it then I can then move out and choose another one down the road ...BE CURIOUS! the thing as I just don't want to move twice... Moving once is a hassle enough.
I agree -- moving is a huge hassle! Especially when the Vancouver rental market is so expensive. About living in a seniors' building...I have to admit that I love going to senior's yoga or other fitness classes, book clubs, band rehearsals, etc! Not only do I feel young 🙂, I also see potential pitfalls. Stretching, for example. Now that I've done yoga with young, fit seniors I have a good idea of the types of exercises, attitudes and types of people that'll keep me young.
Also, did you see my video about leaving a rental apartment mid-month? I rented a place in Fredericton, New Brunswick but have to return to BC for health reasons. I learned alot from that experience (the landlord wanted me to pay an extra month's rent, but I wiggled out of it).
Should You Stay or Should You Go? 5 Signs It's Time to Move On th-cam.com/video/DjRnrgZgv5U/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for sharing this video. I recently moved to Greater Vancouver and although I had wished for it, I started panicking a few weeks ago and feel really empty after the move. It's scary but I have faith that it's going to be worth it. Thank you for the positivity.
Welcome to Vancouver!
I have to be honest: the months of December, January, February and March are bleak, rainy, cloudy, dark and cold. So if you feel depressed or sad, it may not be your choice to move here. It's the weather! The lack of sun and blue sky is very depressing - even for someone like me, who's cheerful and positive naturally.
So if you feel like you're not adjusting right away, know that the weather hides the mountains, keeps everyone indoors, and makes life in Vancouver gloomy. Plus covid is a downer.
In the springtime, the flowers will bloom, the sailboats will return to the ocean, the sun will shine and the squirrels and birds will return. And you will be so glad you moved here :-)
With love,
Laurie
@@LaurieSheBlossoms thank you Laurie
@@Sonam758 I'm affected by the gloomy months in Vancouver and so I bought myself a really big 10x12 SAD lamp for my desk ...it has made a big difference in my energy and mood.
My intuition has been leading me to live near the ocean for yrs. I have a 13 yr old son. We have moved many times. I literally do not have enough money to live near the ocean right now. He is starting high school. so I know where ever we move we are there for at least 4 yrs because i dont want to put him through another move. Suggestions? I have to use logic sometimes correct?
You seem like such a kindred spirit, thank you for this advice! I've been wanting to move somewhere more rural alone, but it's scary to contemplate sometimes as a woman. I especially appreciated your perspectives on listening to your intuition and getting still. Curiosity could very well be the perfect antidote to fear. Thanks again. :)
Thank you for being here, Freya! Here's a thought that amazes me: our imaginations are often scarier than reality. For example, if I imagine what it'd be like if someone broke into my house in the middle of the night and tried to rape me, I'd never sleep again. But that actually happened to me, and the truth is that the reality was easier to deal with than my imagination.
Reality - such as living alone in a rural area - won't always be a walk in the park. But our imaginations are almost guaranteed to be worse than the real thing. The bottom line, for me, is that I'd rather live with curiosity in reality than the hell of my imagination.
Today I'm starting my 3 week road trip from BC to Saskatchewan - in my camper van, alone. I can't wait to see what reality brings my way! :-) xoxo
We are considering moving to another state next year after living in another state most of my life. A bit daunting but it just FEELS like it MUST be done. Oh and I'm over 60!
You might be feeling that "intuitive hit"! It's that inner knowing that you know you should do something - but you don't even know why, necessarily. I once heard that if it's scary and even overwhelming, it's the right decision :-)
What have you got to lose? The problem with not moving is that you never know how it would have turned out....if you move and it was a mistake, at least you know. You'll never wonder if you should have.
Wishing you peace and joy as you move forward into a new season of life....whether or not you literally move!
I moved 3,000 miles from the place I felt totally grounded and married a man I met on the internet- He had two grown children- 18, and 20- (I left my kidos 19,23) I thought- “they are grown- how difficult can that be????🤣
Needless to say, I learned bunches of stuff I didn’t know before!
Golden words that make one stop and think and go for it.
Thank you, Gloria! How’s your internet situation? Everything back to normal? Maybe you should move to Vancouver, Canada 😊
Hi Laurie, the Internet situation is out of my control, yet a scary one for me, as I will be out of touch with She Blossoms. Until then, I will continue commenting on your beautiful informative and much needed She Blossoms. Vancouver must be a wonderful place as it is graced by your presence. 😙
Thank you, I needed this! 💛💛
Such good advice and makes sense too. Thanks x
I wanna move to the United States from Germany but i am so scared to leave my Family behind.. I am scared that my Parents might die while i am away and i wont be there for them.. or dont see them again... But i wanna move for Years now and become a Pastor in the united States.. I am 21 atm..
Thank you!
Thank you x
Very insightful!
I love your curiosity Laurie your helping me
Thank you, Carole. I hope you're doing well, and am glad you're here! I have a video that may inspire you - especially if you need a dose of encouragement and hope. :-) xo
Hi Laurie thank u so much for replying to me it's valued and appreciated
I want to move from Wisconsin to Oklahoma, alone. Pray for me!❤
May God’s will unfold in your life - and may you step out in peace, confidence, and faith. You’re in my thoughts and prayers!
@@LaurieSheBlossoms, thank you so much Laurie. I needed this.
It’s easier for women you’ll find someone way faster
This is not out of fear - I don’t know what to do .
I want to move to another city .. not that I don’t think that I’m ready to move states .. that’s the plan in a couple more years but for now I really want to experience a new city in the state that I’m already in and ofc there’s a but …. My babies cousins , my dog , my fam and my job is here .. I know I can easily come back to that if I move to another city except the job part .. I don’t want to drive a hour for work everyday and I feel some type of way because I just found this job and right now I’m staying with family so I’m really thinking what will happen if I move to another city now ..😢
Yes, it's such a huge, life-changing, confusing decision. The hardest thing is not knowing how anything will turn out - or if it'll be a huge "failure"! Except there are no failures, just discoveries that show us new paths.
I often find that the "no brainer" things I expect to be easy are surprisingly challenging, and the hard things turn out to be easy and fun. I've learned to expect nothing, be open to anything, and stay focused on my inner knowing, truth, presence and peace no matter what happens.
Sending you encouragement, inspiration and big warm hugs 💞
Stay in touch - I'd love to hear what you decide!
The last time i moved, i had a really traumatic event happen at the same time as the move. We’re moving again now and i emptied out the non-necessities from my room so i wouldnt have to do it later. I took down the pictures, i took down my glow-in-the-dark stars, I packed up all my decorations, and now my walls are bare. I dont know why, but it terrifies me. I miss my pictures, i miss the stuffies i had around my room, i dont feel comfortable anymore, my stuffies were some of the only things that comforted me, but now theyre packed away in boxes, and all i have to look at for the next month and a half is white walls. Yes, i packed a month and a half early.. i have severe anxiety and i was afraid I wouldn’t have the motivation later, so I packed early. It’s so scary seeing blank walls again, i just wanna feel safe, but i dont wanna unpack because it just means extra work. I cried myself to sleep last night because of how scared i felt, and i just dont know what to do. I dont know how to feel ok while i wait for the move date
I’m going through this exact right now . How did you end up doing in the end ? How are you doing now ? Will I survive this fear and non stop panic attacks ?
@@ElvisandAmy8 hi
@@suffocatingsquid thank you so much, i am on my way to another city for college. The anxiety eating me out even though i am having my medicine. Reading this show me that i am making things big in front of my eyes. Saying lies to myself that everything will be fine even tho everything is indeed fine. This really made me more comfortable. Thank you, i hope you are having a wonderful day and life. ❤
@@ceres8069 im so glad my thoughts could help