I've seen others, like ENFPs, who wonder where the INFJs are. It would be great to give them a place where the INFJs are. It would be a horrible business proposition. They are too rare. It would be better if an existing app had the ability to filter by MBTI. That has more chance of being successful.
Master's CS student and INFJ here. If you can come up with a way to determine who is an INFJ and protect the community from narcissists, I'll try to make it happen!
Yes, especially when I was younger. The good news is that as you mature, and you begin to find ways to control some of these traits, create boundaries in life where they need to be, those feelings lessen greatly as the sense of self-acceptance grows. I hope that offer's you a small sense of comfort. I've also come to the conclusion that this is not some sort of jail sentence. I CAN still alter the things about myself I do not like. Via meditation, living in the moment, being aware of my own feelings instead of being Mr/Mrs.Emotional sponge, we need not always fall prey to our "infj-ness".
“My eyes aren’t telling you anything about me, they’re more of a receiver ...” that’s one of the best descriptions I’ve heard of the INFJ stare, I definitely relate.
When someone is talking, I am analyzing everything they say and everything they don't say. I am reading their intentions and figuring out why they're saying what they're saying. I've noticed that the "death stare" is too intense for some people and makes them try to hide the truth, so I learned to read people without staring.
I'm an INFJ. Listening to another INFJ makes me realise why we often feel lonely. Most of my thoughts and ideas are expressed internally and are difficult to translate to the outside world. When they do express themselves outwardly, it as if INFJs are communicating auckwardly via transmission from an uncannily familiar albeit far away planet. INFJs are the most familiar paradoxical aliens you'll ever meet...a benevolent stranger who has come to visit your town and who knows everything about you but who you yourself know nothing about and probably never fully will.
Connecting with that a lot. By the time I was 13, I had spent many years trying to connect without success, so I just ended up feeling like I was a robot or someone not meant for this place.
I tried to speak like I'm writing a paper. I also took customer service and teaching jobs to learn small talk to fill in the gaps. Now that I got that it is finding the audience that would take the time to listen to the connections... Life's challenges.
Wow well worded..I've expressed this concept to ppl around my in a similar way but...they don't get it and...I loop back to exhibit A lmao. Thanks for articulating that!
I experienced this, as well as people not understanding my ideas fully and letting them go by the wayside so I check out mentally cause I feel like the black sheep.
I’ve noticed that people that have something to hide react to me negatively on the first meeting They recognize I can see right through them. I don’t do it on purpose. It automatic.
I just unconsciously did the INFJ stare to one of my classmates and i clearly can see that she felt uncomfortable. I'm not close with the person and i was there because she had a conversation with my friends. I tried to avoid the eye contact as much as i can like how katie did but my stare are too deep everytime, that she feel my stare. Btw, what attracts me to stare at her too much instead of others are that today is her birthday. I didn't wish her birthday. I want to, but I'm too shy 😓
@infj-heyoka -empath Speaking is another level for me and i can't help being unconsciously staring at her. The situation is, we sit a little far because we sit on the floor so each of us having our own space. So, it's kinda far and hard for me to go to her and talk 😔 And you're right, i don't have anything to say to her besides telling her happy birthday and my friend is the one who's talking to her. I'm just happen to be there. That's also why i think it hard to suddenly said happy birthday to her when we don't know each other and the sit are kind of apart. But i can feel that she's happy yesterday. I saw some of her friends making suprise party for her after that 🤗
@infj-heyoka -empath Because it her birthday that day and it attract me to get to know her when i know its her birthday. Usually i don't even stare at her or anything. Don't worry, i didn't do anything to her 😂
@@post-humangod2575 In the end it depends if I want to be friendly and be superficially happy. Sometime I dont want to meet people deeper than their surface if I have determined for myself I dont like them deeper or fundamentally disagree. So yes it is Perceiving function and Judging function that both result in withdrawing somehow from "them". My expressionless face is my expression. It is a choice of response if I am not absorbing info and taking in stuff. If I feel comfortable with my original perceptions/intuition of the scenario I am in then I will relax and express confidently whatever I am feeling like expressing and If I have made a determination/decision(judging function) of the other person and for myself I move forward from that decision. If the the perceiving function is dominant at the time I might be more indecisive and withdraw for personal protection of absorbing what is going on(of myself and others) since I don't feel assertive in my determination. I dont owe people my presence or expression but I get it bring moods down of others which is why I sometimes just superficially enjoy the time I find myself in.
We find the answer in the Void Book of the 5 Rings. Yeah, I know, out of the Kenjustsu Dojo. My natural thought process. Strange huh? I do this with everything. Common behavior becomes Fencing Techniques. I do this with much. Part of the Air Book.
@kelly hoover You are very welcome. I hope I helped you somewhat. The topic is the same. I used my subjective perspective is all. We all spring from the same source, yet see things ever so slightly differently based on life experiences, mine is the Dojo where I feel most accepted, understood. Signed....No One aka Mu Shin. There is a movie. Circle of Iron, written by Sifu Lee, acted by David Carradine. In the end you see the book of the Void. It's an easier way of seeing the Void than deciphering Musashi Sensei and the Go Rin No Sho. Because we teach this as Kenjutsu Instrutors, its's our Duty to translate it for Students of the Michi or Way (Tao) or "Do" in Nihongo. It's not a Religion but a Hybrid Shinto Zen Buddhist Philosophy, for I am a Christian, just not a Robot of a Church. My faith is in my Kokoro (Heart). The Book itself is elusive. You have to have the life experience and practiced the Waza (techniques) to understand what Musashi Kensei was saying. At the very least it gives us something to consider......This is a good place for me to Stop. There is always another day for more if time allows.
@kelly hoover I did notice that you felt it was a bit non linear. Was it really Down the Rabbit Hole, I am unsure of this myself? Maybe just a similar Den. I'm going out to play with 5-6 month old Kittens and have dinner with an old Reverend friend of mine tonight. He drags me to his place kicking and screaming regularly. When I come home I may just practice Sword Kata, providing the Reverend doesn't give me too many Beers I don't drink at home. The Duality of Life. I Hope you feel a bit better about things. Just know, You aren't alone.
I feel like people mistrust me because I'm too honest. They don't believe someone can be that honest, and then they doubt what I say. It's so crazy to me.
@JessicaBelle I don't go around telling people I'm honest, I just am. I sit there and watch someone telling a huge yarn about something I know isn't true because I was there, and people are captivated by it, accept it unquestioningly. But other times, when I say something, they look at me like I have 2 heads and question the validity of it.
ᒧⴹⵢⵢ𐌠ⵎᗅ𐌇ⴹᒪᒪⴹ...And here you are AGAIN for the nth time, attacking people for expressing a thought or opinion. What is your problem?! May all the hateful energy you send to others return to you quickly.
INFJ videos make me wanna cry. I feel so out of place every day then I listen to this and it sounds like Katie is documenting my life and telling the story the way I ( and no one else I know) would. Thank for making this
Jackie Burhans I agree completely. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong in this world. I’m getting there though. Slowly, but surely. This is life. Wanna make the best out of it.
Yes it's so relatable, and it's almost soothing to hear because it's something i go through any and everyday but cannot explain to people if i have to.
INFJ here. yeah. i have the same "living" sometimes i "talk" to much and at the end i say" did you follow me?" only to be sure i don't lost the person in the talking. :x
I’ve never heard anyone articulate the personality traits of INFJ’s so well before - along with their struggles and paradoxes. I can relate to EVERYTHING you’ve said.
I dont think others completely isolate us.. i think we do it to ourselves.. was told by my shrink a couple months ago i had an INFJ personality.. maybe im looking into this stuff too deep... who knows.
Eye contact....yes! I've learned how powerful my STARE is. I'm literally receiving a conversation with that other person's soul. Sometimes, I've learned that I need to "deny" eye contact with certain individuals. Kinda like " access denied" if that makes any sense to anyone else...lol. Bc quite frankly in my best interest, I don't want to communicate with their soul...lol.
I’m 51% E (ENFJ) but I have this issue as well. Sometimes when I go into my head I feel like I can connect and read consciousness around me. Sometimes I unintentionally project my “aura” too much and I absorb a lot of other peoples energies as well. I end up connecting with a lot of people without saying a word.
"i usually cant think, in the presence of another person.." Do you think it might be because you are taking in so much information about the people and situation in which you are surrounded? I too, am INFJ, and I think that is exactly why I would make the same statement you just made.
Bill Rankin I think it’s for a number of reasons and it also depends on the social situation. I definitely understand what you are saying and experience something similar. When I go to social events.. I could be talking to someone but my brain will be reading the emotional temperature of the room at the same time. Which takes some of my mental “bandwidth” which makes it hard to fully engage in the discussion I’m having. Other times I feel it’s because it takes me a while to fully process my thoughts. Both in an emotional way and intellectual way. So when I am standing in front of someone formulating an idea/thought I get stuck sometimes because I end up just lost in my mind processing haha!! So yeah, for me there are definitely a couple reasons. More than I’ve listed.. but I think you’re on the money with your suggestion. I for sure relate to what you are saying :)
Super relatable. I'll share a little too: For years I felt thought suffocation was my unique problem. It felt like being an almost thinking person, like a rare condition I hadn't heard of yet, that was only aggravated when more people were added to a room. I wondered if I had been dropped on a specific part of my head as baby in a unique way that made the sight of people more difficult to process. That people crowded thought. Subjectively my perceiving part of the brain was too slow for the thinking part so all the thinking would bounce around unconsciously in a useless, wild form until perception caught up, or the thinker found a way to make sound-bites and fit thought into the right mold. All the perfect, articulate answers come hours later after the opportune moments. These days with group work and with mild inferiority I'll say, "I'm sorry, I haven't formed an opinion yet. Give me some more time to mull over the details." Then I'll send them what my mind was hiding in written form over media. If contributions are expected it's all pre-prepared so that the idiot I'll be can simply perform the idiot task of courier: "uh, yeah. It's all in there where I wrote it." "but we'd like to hear some of your thoughts." "I'm good. Just have a read when you have some time." [retreat into self] It seems most are uneducated about cognitive styles. At my work rumour has got to me that my boss has described me as a "very smart person who behaves like an idiot" due to how slowly thoughts form. "What’s up with this guy? He just stares into space a lot." I stand there stifled still taking things in while others have already jumped to the simple answer. Such is life as an intuitive thinker.
Well I am a 62 year woman… who is an INFJ…this is July 2024. I just noticed that this is a 4 year old video. I want to thank you for this content. I’ve watched so many INFJ videos and this video hit my home heart the most. The things you described in your content resonated with me down to my core.
I once asked a woman I didn’t know who was sitting in front of me in church if I could hug her. I could just feel her sadness. She wasn’t crying or anything but I just felt her sadness. She agreed and I hugged her. Some time later I learned she had, had cancer and had passed away.
There is nothing wrong or inappropriate about being considerate, fair and compassionate. You are a voice to make the world a better place. From a senior INFJ
I had no idea this “INFJ” thing existed until now. It feels really weird hearing someone talk about things the same way I do, especially the part about empathy. I never expected there to be an actual label that explains why I am the way I am either. I don’t even know what to think right now. Thank you a million times for making this video!
INFJ here, agree on all fronts..... any other INFJ's feel they're stuck in their heads with no connection to both their physical bodies & words, I almost prefer silence over communicating.
Yes but I am over the years I've been able to block out the negative express myself more then I used but I still run into misunderstanding but I do the best I can I think it's going to help somebody else
Richard Cook we are sooooo incredibly sensitive to the world and people around us. I cant do small talk, because i am too busy feeling their feelings lololol
@@evieoneder From one to another please learn to protect yourself. I recommend you build a shield around you. Like an invisible cloak. It is not healthy to be 'open' to absorbing others feelings 24/7. It will ultimately damage your abilities as an INFJ and may compromise your MH. INFJs must protect themselves first in order to help others. It is very important. I can't stress it enough. Even though we are sensitive to others, we are also strong. But resonating with others feelings will weaken our natural strength. Then we are no good for us or others. Look after you first. This is not selfish. This comes from a place of love. ps as an INFJ you need to have strong barriers. That way when you choose to help others, it is your choice, a conscience decision and with the appropriate energy and focus. As an INFJ, if you live life in a reacative way, you will exhaust yourself and other areas of your life may be compromised. People will no longer see your value. They will see you as a failure and your desire to help wont even be wanted. This of course is the exact opposite of what an INFJ would want.
The stare and the “thinking face.” I relate to that so hard lol. Girl own it!! You are super special! I think that once you own these traits to the point that you don’t feel like you have to justify or make excuses for the parts that are special about you, you’ll be a lot more confident and even more socially at ease. For me, it took a few therapy sessions to fully feel seen and accepted for some of my “rare” traits (because yeah, INFJs can feel kind of like an alien!). My confidence coming out of that though let me be just be at peace with myself in a tangible way, and my insecurity of being different didn’t “check me out” of the present nearly as often as it did before. Being different and being fine with it I think is the core of confidence, and confidence allows you to stay connected, despite whether the other person even “gets” you or not. Yeah girl, you’re super special and I think you just need to own it ;)
I’m an INFJ and you’re the first INFJ youtuber I’ve watched that felt like I was watching myself speak. Just the way you speak and talk through points. Sounds just like me. I experience all of these things too. I’m currently struggling with the empathy. I feel everything as if I’m the one it’s happening to and recently realized friends/loved ones hear/witness the same thing and are just like “that stinks..” and they move right on. 🤯
Well i had lot of problems with this too but, you have to realise it today or tomorrow that you can only do so much.. It is a fact that none of us can change. I am sure you have thought of this too but, to actually put it into practice is annoying. I used certain limitations on myself so that i take care of myself, coz if i take care of myself then only i will take care of others 🤷🏻♂️. Many a times i have seen the root of the problem but when you try to help out the person, the person doesn't wish to change and solve that problem once and for all 🤷🏻♂️ either you can waste your time or accept the fact that some realities people have to face alone. But that doesn't mean do nothing. Keep in mind the stakes and the current position, don't get swayed by the emotions. They are our BIGGEST asset as INFJ. It's a double edged sword that we wield and only a few are allowed to wield it. P. S i couldn't control but try to help out hopefully it does help :P 😂
It is usually a good thing. But the "standing up for someone" has to be within reason. Imagine somebody running into someone else (not by accident, but cleary because the person doesn't care about others) while running on the street. You see that person now running towards you. Now imagine yourself feeling that overwhelming sense of justice or empathy in yourself. The reasonable/admirable thing to do would be to tell them that their behavior is bad etc. The unreasonable thing to do would be to attack them and swing punches towards them. "Standing up for someone else" is only a good thing to do if the person who you are standing up for even cares about the injustice that has taken place against them. Let's say the person who got run into just doesn't care about that other person running into them. If you run after that person to scald them, you just make a "deal" out of a "no deal" situation.
Your level of empathy for your classmate was wonderful and I’m sure it meant a lot to him in the moment. You are a gift to the world, don’t feel like you need to change.
Me and my friends have noticed that as we, INFJ's, talk about something that matters to us, we slowly raise our voice without noticing. Great video btw, you are beautiful :)
I think one of the most basic traits is what you are doing right here and now: extensive self-analysis. Not because we are self absorbed, just because we don't only want to be able to understand everyone else, but also ourselves, for ourselves, and also in order to be able to explain the way we work to others. Like a personal user guide, because we know we are hard to understand. We want to make interaction with us easier for others. Unfortunately that has the tendency to only confuse most people even more because they don't understand what we're on about! :D
Yes! It is quite the opposite of being self-absorbed. "Like a personal user guide, because we know we are hard to understand," - brilliant description. One of the hardest insults for me to hear is that I am self-centered. I feel so much the opposite of that at my core, but it's hard not to take someone's opinion of me seriously when they perceive me in that way. I find that the more inner work and extensive self-analysis I do, the further I can see into another person's inner experience. It increases my understanding, my compassion.. it opens my mind to the endless nuances and intricacies of every single personality, every single other complex human being out there. Getting to know my condition is simultaneously the act of getting to know THE human condition, our collective humanity. I loved your comment, thank you!
@@katiemarie8899 ikr! When I was a teenager, I always fought with my parents, especially my mom. She always said to me that I'm selfish. At that time, I was so angry why she said that and in my head I have many reasons why I'm not selfish. But she is. Idk why she thought like that. Its really hurt me.
I've basically given up on seeing any value in descriptions of myself from others. No matter how much energy you put in making yourself understood, it doesn't land anyway. And I find I live a lot better not giving a damn about what others think of me. 49yr old male infj.
We digress a lot during a conversation - almost like we’re having our multiple thoughts out loud. It’s amazing. When I see fellow INFJs, we all have similar eye movements, thought process, speech patterns, awkward and self-conscious body language. It’s a treat to watch these videos. I don’t encounter many INFJs in real life.
This is the 1st video of hers I have watched, and I couldn't agree more. I'm kinda blown away... It's got me seeing so much. Cheers and all the best out there !
I got the, "Are you an angel?" question, then from the same person a little later she asked if I was a demon. She kept staring at me switching back and forth trying to read me. I'd see the look on her face change from total adoration to absolute fear. I kept telling her that I wasn't either. Just a human being. But I was reading her and she seemed astonished that I could understand her so spot on. So she vacillated between thinking I had supernatural powers but couldn't tell if they were good powers or bad powers. I kept trying to assure her that I had no supernatural abilities. She left, kissing my hand like I was some sort of angel. It felt totally creepy!!!
lol this made me laugh. yea, I have people stare at me and It makes me so insecure obviously because thats our first instinct and thought is that somethings wrong with us but maybe it is because we give a vibe and glow and people try to figure us out or read us.
my friends sometimes ask me if i'm sad or mad or they will say your zoning out again, but really my brain is going haywire with all the things i could possibly think at one time.
Yes. And when I said nothing. I'm happy not sad or mad. But they didnt believe me. They'll say my face looks gloomy/scary. They even tell me, when my face is scary-mode-on-but-I-didnt-realize-coz-I-just-feel-soso, they scare to approached me and scare to talk to me. I just.. dunno I have to feel happy because they leave me alone and I can continue my busy-thinking again or feel sad because in that way they just left me behind and I will feel sad. Nah this moment what they think of me become reality. Dang
OMG! And no one has a clue how loud it is inside our heads! We're constantly trying to make sense of and sort the multitude of ideas and thoughts going on in our brains.
Wow, thank you for making me cry. Hearing such a young person talk about all the things I experienced all my life. I am 67 y.o. and only found out about my INFJ-hood early this year. Now I can put the jigsaw together, better late than never.
Thank you adrian w. I'm 50 and just truly learning about it now. I don't think any of my therapists were any good, if this is the first I am hearing of it. I didn't want to say anything, because I felt foolish for not knowing this by my age, but like others on this platform, you have given me some more courage to express myself and in return I hope to encourage others.
@@procyonlotor1906 Merci beaucoup. There is a band in the Netherlands with the name Racoon. No idea why they dropped the other "C". Dyslexia? 15 yrs ago they wrote "Love you more" . It's because of your name, I wanted you to know. Bear used to be my nickname. All my life I try to help others, never thought though, I was doing it here on you tube . I hope for you, that you will get a sweet message from someone someday too, as a reaction to something you wrote. So, please express yourself like you did today, everyday. I wish you strength. Adrian
well said, i have a similar almost debilitating sensitivity to strong emotions of others, my biggest one is embarassment, when i see someone humiliated or embarrassed i have a physical reaction as if i am the one personally embarrassed, the twisted gut, the flushed face, fight or flight panic ect. like when a stranger drops something at the grocery store
You're the most INFJ I have come across here on TH-cam. I related heavily on the empathy and the dishonesty parts. It feels nice to hear from someone else what usually goes on in your head, but can't, or don't tell anyone because they won't understand or dismiss it as just talk. It's refreshing.
+what interest the most are tokens of life that hold deeper meaning or value. when it aquires more then one meaning to posses or to have. normally we keep it or keep it as extra. but we don't always keep something if deposible has more logic to keep we might have that if we can recycle it. we think longer term goals when it in are awareness. does that give enough information?
Totally true. I've been a fountain pen collector since I was like 13 years old, and I don't even know how I discovered a love of pens but I still love writing and calligraphy and beautifully crafted fountain pens (especially antique flex nib pens) to this day. And I love fine notebooks as well.
"INFJs keep being your alien self, I love you all, I love myself" that is the perfect morning affirmation 😂🙏🏾It's cool that you're an INFJ that is comfortable articulating yourself so well in front of the camera because I could be journaling or talking out loud (to myself to be honest) and as soon as I turn the camera on, its a similar effect as if another person comes in the room. My mind doesn't flow as freely. I totally resonate with what you shared.
Yes, and I didn't even realize how much of a jump I have made because for me it was all logical and natural and I get annoyed when people can not follow. I just thought that they didn't listen to what I was saying because they don't care and this hurt me. So it's all actually a big misunderstanding from my wrong assumptions. Thanks for clarifying this to me. I am an Infj by the way.
I think the thing that makes me feel most alienated is my need to see patterns in behaviors from others. I am constantly trying to see what makes them feel happy/sad/any emotion. I feel like I read people like a book instead of seeing them in front of me😬
Eye contact,iget people telling me you put me off you stare right in my eyes when you talk to me it makes people feel all weird they can't tell me what they were saying, you have just told my life the way it is glad I'm not the only one
Incredible. I totally relate to everything! I think that we INFJs are very into personality types because we feel like aliens all the time and we want to know why
Speaking up for someone who I see as being wronged takes up so much of my energy that I feel weak and vulnerable afterwards and thus need alone time to recuperate.
Strangely I feel empowered after I take up someone who has been wronged in my opinion. I feel like I was the one who was wronged, then after I confront and try to diffuse the situation I feel like Ive righted a wrong. I do have an increased heart rate and I’m emotional, but also feel elated on some level.
While what she did was very dangerous with serious repercussions and could have been better handled by being reported to the authorities (be careful how you make your complaint and don't get too upset if they ignore it), the fact she so bravely stood up for others instead of ignoring it is very attractive to me and frankly a bit of a turn on. (Nearly 46 and just found out I'm an INFJ and at least now the emotional and mental drain makes sense to me now...) Stay safe and good luck!
Veronica.....I once spoke up for a tubby boy that a group of older boys Tripped on the school bus when I was in 4th grade. All his lunch spilled out everywhere, and he cried. I on the other-hand was magnificently cruel to the three older bullies. They just stood there amazed, me being a little girl. I can t tolerate bullies. One mentor told me I had Too much compassion. An english professor told me I should be a writer? I resemble both of those remarks. .
Traditionally this personality trait has been realized by the mystics from all ages and cultures. As an INFJ you're compelled to build harmony from within all the way into the chaotic world outside. This is damn difficult particularly in the modern time where social and conceptual structures constantly shift their boundaries and focus. As you make it through and grow older you eventually develop the resilience and strength to have your light shine through into the wider surroundings and feel at home in the world around. Thanks for sharing.
"Look at them...too much, look away...now look back." I'm glad to know that someone else has to do this. Seeing is feeling and even sometimes touching so it gets to be awkward. What you see, you change; what you hear changes you; what you touch, you become part of. But, when seeing is touching, you become part of the other person more often than you want to.
Yeah, non-linear Conversations at lightening speed... it’s called “tracking”, most people cannot do that, and it is a wonderful gift, if you are in the right job or place in your life, where you can use it to help people.
I am an ENFJ and thanks for sharing the true name. I truly enjoy IN/EN personality types because I do not feel like I have to "carry" the conversation.
@@elainacordova4397 Entrepreneur, Educator, Business Professional, Banking, or any job where you have to remember loads of factual information. You can do all of these jobs relatively alone also, to prevent your anxiety from skyrocketing.
I know your a true INFJ when thinking about it hurts you, I'm the same way I can feel hurt from the same situation as many times as I allow it from just remembering the moments
I've learned over the years as an INFJ how to manage some of my characteristics. Like when my mind wants to make those jumps that no one else will follow, I've learned not to speak all of what I'm thinking, and instead speak like I'm doing a simple instructional tutorial. The problem with that is that I feel restricted and it makes me concerned that it will make my creativity atrophy. It's way more fun to do the multipoint hyperspace idea thing, but you need someone you can do it with, or we're just not having any fun anymore.
Hi Walter, I just learned about the INFJ personality type and I’ve been in complete awe the last 24 hours.. The non linear jumps in ideas concepts and conversations have brought me success but sometimes lots of stress and misunderstandings when dealing with people. Sometimes I can tell that the people that I’m trying to explain something to, are wondering if I’m a genius or a complete doofus.. My projects and work are usually a mess until they aren’t, the last piece brings everything together and then the questions come on how I was able to figure out that, or how did I got that idea. My thought was that everyone is capable of doing this things, they just choose not to. I love the multipoint hyperspace idea concept, it just clicks.
All of this ^^^^. Also I usually have and idea like these and I will blurt out the last sentence to the idea and gave to back track to how I got there. About everything though. When I need something and need to explain it to someone who has no idea what I'm talking about, it is a complete failure. Dont ask me to play pictionary
JessicaBelle I do this, too. I’m 51 and while some of the things described in this video still have a profound impact like when I was much younger, some situations I’ve learned to cope with better. I also avoid people because it seems easier, but I am sad because I love being with people.
I’m 51.... this is so good to hear... I do wish this platform was available when I was your age. I’ve learned ways to cope and compensate for my deficits as well as ways to leverage my strengths. Thank you for doing this
OMG I have NEVER listened to someone n felt and/or understood and/or thought I was looking in the mirror at myself speaking the way u move ur hands the rhythm of how u speak is identical to how I am I swear ur like my lost siamese twin lol the purse thing n the pen thing my mind is literally blown right now!! Lol I only watched this video but now I'm going to sit here and watch every single one of ur videos tonight. Thank u for making me think at least there is 1 other "alien" like me out there ha ha ha!
It's so rare to see someone being this honest about their inner world. I almost forgot it was possible ! Your video inspired me to be more open about my own and talk freely about it. It's beautiful how aware you are of the way your mind works.
girl6girl6 this happens way more often than I’d like. Finally a show I love, next episode, we’re canceling. But I actually like this one. Stupid everyone for liking other stuff. LOL
Hello fellow alien INFJ'S. LOL how i can relate to this on a different level. I am a alpha type personality as well as a strong empath on top of being an INFJ. People tell me i intimidate them because i can be so intense one second and aloof the next in a conversation. I stare people down and it makes them very nervous even though i don't have any thing on my mind except for an insatiable appetite for knowledge that i might obtain from the unspoken words they are sending me. I love staring at the water at a nearby lake. I can sit there for hours and never say a word or look away unless there are people around. This sounds weird but i often read body language and sometimes i go on information overload. I have to avoid crowds for this very reason. TMI and it drives me batty sometimes because i feel so strongly that I don't fit in. I often feel like an outsider too. I can often feel somehow where a conversation is going before it begins. Are any of these traits familiar to any of you? Thanks for a good video.
Me too. Totally tmi from ppl! No body gets me.... I sometimes try. Mostly to no evail. From my unique abilities . My gifts are a curse in this 3 D bs matrix. So glad to know there are others similar to me. Thanks 😊
@@kellycrooks4509 It seems like the more the tide of the world changes the more i don't fit in. As an empath as all INFJ'S are, the louder the vibration seems to be to me. I want so badly to stop all of this crazy insanity but the louder i get the less people want to hear my point if view. I can read people a mile away it seems and i seem to know when people are coming to visit me. Most of the sites on TH-cam for infj's seem to echo thus same sentiment. So how do you handle the white noise thats going on around you? I am trying to ignore it but thats not very realistic in my case.
Whoa! Why do I feel like you are describing me? I have been called creepy or have given ppl the wrong ideas in the past due to my stares so these days I just look at the ground or the sky or at neutral objects. I have been told I switch personalities like a weirdo... I switch based on my mood & who I am with ... And yes staring at water is amazing... But I don't do it so much anymore... Hmmm stresses of life.
My goodness I always love hearing other INFJ speak. We think our ways are so strange (which they are haha) but hearing someone else speak of the same weirdness feels so validating it’s absolutely amazing! I have big issues with working in groups and it’s a huge problem because in my work I have to do this and it’s hard explaining to others that I work best on my own. I can’t think around other people is exactly what I would say! My sister is INTJ and it was amazing growing with her. Dad is INFP and we also get along but not as deep as INTJ. Thanks for sharing 🤗
"if I have to run or climb a tree..." OMG, you have no idea how often I use that very thing to explain my one things to other people, it's either that or 'what if a bear comes out of nowhere...' I feel much less crazy now, thank you
"I usually can't think in the presence of another person..." This is so affirming! My entire life (I'm 57) I thought I was the only one who struggled with this affliction. I wouldn't be surprised if this phenomenon is directly due to the INFJ's sensitivity to outside stimulus. Just the shear amount of it that social interactions present to our type, we have no choice but to deal with the full array of stimulus due to our inability to screen stuff out. Given this, I've often found the pace of group (more than two) interactions to be too swift. I've often thought, if I could magically press a button to make my social encounters go at a slower pace, then I could at least process what was happening WHILE it was happening, and thereby catch more chances to interact. Of course, afterword, I would still promptly retreat into my hermit hole in order to recover from the experience of talking to people.
To stand up in the face of injustice is nothing short of courageous. Never be ashamed of your courage. You did right by "Joe" he is lucky to have had representation when he could not do so himself at that moment.
That’s exactly what I thought! The experience of 20 years of marriage to someone of a different type, and raising 4 kids who are quite different from me, has forced me to engage and activate other parts of myself that (aside from these relationships) I would have let lie. But everything she describes in this video is my home turf, my natural way of being. It’s a relief finding others who process life this way. And it’s also a relief to know time and experience balance things out. The biggest shift I’ve seen over time is the growth of emotional boundaries, learning how to not let others’ emotions invade and take me over (that emotional sponge problem)... learning to still hear my own inner voice even if I’m in a crowd.
“In the end it must be as it is and always has been: great things remain for the great, abysses for the profound, nuances and shudders for the refined, and, in brief, all that is rare for the rare.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
I feel you. Perhaps Nietzsche was also "one of us". "If others want to define you.don't linger in their pond. Swim away from the ignorance & find your ocean." ------ Dodinsky I have a great time being around rocks and water, ALONE. I've been an "anamoly"all my life. Now I embrace it and I am glad to know that I am not ONLY one. Sun♎ Moon ♋ Rising ♐. LP#11 Honestly & truth reign supreme..
I’m an INFP. When I was watching 6:09 (when you share how you understood the kid and stood out helping him), I felt so touched that my tears suddenly burst out😿… As someone who has social anxiety and often been seen as “antisocial” or a “weird outsider”, I feel like finally there is someone who is genuinely kind and can understand me. Your traits are not just traits, they are capabilities and qualities. Thank you for standing out for the kid in the cinematography class and choosing to do the right things for who’s needed or helpless. I’m so grateful that there are awesome humans like you existing in this cold and cruel world. Not all humans are like you, which makes you more precious and special, I believe. :) In the end thank you so much for creating and sharing this wonderful video on TH-cam! I have some INFJ friends and I treasure them and their precious traits very much! It’s these traits (which I think are pretty rare in this world) that make you so unique and irreplaceable! Please keep on being who you are and keep on doing what you think is the right thing! Much love from an INFP. 💖
I'm an INFJ and for my whole life, I thought something was wrong with me. Hearing this has made me almost sob the whole time. Thank you for sharing this, Katie. But I'm on an extreme scale with empathy. I am that person. I am that animal.
Same here ! , it's difficult too talk with shallow people , small talk is boring .. at times my mind switching to Stay Focused and yet maintain conversations
Oh my gosh, this is the best INFJ video I have seen. I totally blank out in groups also and have experienced enormous frustration at myself during my space out episodes. It makes me angry because I feel like people think I am an idiot. This is at its worse when i am stressed/overwhelmed. My thinking goes bye bye and I completely block out what people are saying to me. I was wondering if other INFJ's have trouble with phone conversations. I avoid them and have hurt my friendships bc I hate talking on the phone. When I talk on the phone I do not do anything else, just completely listen, but I am exhausted after 15m so sometimes I avoid picking up. It is just too overwhelming.
I'm very happy to have seen this post of yours, Katie! I am a 55 yr old infj woman, and you explain my own experiences brilliantly. That honesty is such a hard one! My grandmother lived with me when she had alzheimer's, and she used to ask questions based on absolute delusions - and I could never just go along with them and make up stories, but had to find a middle way, to answer her without upsetting or confusing her, and without telling untruths!!!! And the stare-absorption, the overwhelming empathy, and the jumps in thought process - all so "wierd" to others. My father, too, is an intj, but though i can follow most of his thoughts, he is impatient with my empathy and irrationality, and has called me "strange and unnecessary," which is still devastating. And I loved your point about not being able to think clearly when with other people, which made my early and so-important relationship with an enfj difficult, ultimately..... This need for people, but essential, vital, absolutely critical need for solitude in which to work, is an ongoing and constant issue for me.... Thanks so much for this post. i truly feel less alone today, having listened to you. Warm wishes, Janette Godfrey. P.S. my infp sister hates my chameleon adaptation to other people - the way i unconsciously change who i seem to be, depending on who I am with. Infps have far stronger personal boundaries that they guard with their lives, whereas infjs cannot help but be mirrors and empathise to the extent of behaving in ways that make others comfortable....
I don’t mean to speak for your dad or anything and I have a daughter so I can relate. My point is that as an INTJ it is hard to relate in someone else’s pain even if you want to and if it is an inconvenience to the intj person it causes them to seem cold but its more like they just don’t know how to get you to calm down so they just want you to stop already and move on.
I've honestly (as if I can't be) never met an infj female yet in person. It's eerie awesome and enlightening to listen to you! It's just as much fun being the male version 😂
talk to more intj's if you think that because Ni can certainly be comprehended. they break their Ni leaps into bite size chunks to trace back how their mind came up with it and verify the truth. Inconveniently they can only manage a single atom bite at a time so they have to build it back up to a pretty high level for the average person to understand, something many sorely struggle with. Have you ever had an intj try to explain something to you and they cant help but explain it with lots of technical information that is basically gibberish to you? It would be really nice if every intj came with a complementary entp to explain what they are trying to say.
@@mb9807 I semi-strongly believe im an intp. to further expound on what i was saying, it makes sense to me for you to say something like that actually given Infj arnt designed to understand their Ni. the reason from my perspective is they follow it with Fe and then Ti. Fe is not concerned with the origin of a thought, and Ti tertiary is not powerful enough to grasp it even though it is concerned, it focus's instead on what to expect from and when to expect Ni. Te is very concerned with not the origin of the thought but rather reality, and therefore craves closure when it comes to whether or not an insight can be fit onto the world, the problem is it processes data very linearly and mechanically, so it goes bit by bit by bit down to the first principles essentially brute forcing the origin of the thought in the process. the difference is an author having an inspired idea and writing a book and all the relationships seeming believable, and the theme being coherent but the author didnt follow a formula vs a physicist having an inspired idea and then coming up with the math to prove it.
@@jeffreyg5303 Interesting. I actually agree with everything you just said there. The Ni (particularly infjs) takes different memories and puts it together in a way that that we can put things together and figure things out. I think What makes infjs see things in a way that is difficult to comprehend even for other infjs is how we put those memories or thoughts together in a very abstract way which other Ni users might experience too but I do believe infjs are abstract on a whole other level.
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You're so INFJ. ❤ Listening you talk is like hearing my own thoughts, it's just surreal that we have so much in common as INFJs. You're absolutely lovely! 🤗
Just know that when you “read” those other people or take the temperature of a room, it costs you something. As an INFJ and empath, I have learned to prepare myself for such occasions and plan in recovery time as well. It is necessary in order to avoid self-destruction or succumbing to narcissists/sociopaths.
The radical empathy is painful, indeed! My baby sister is also an INFJ and we talk about the difficulties you cover. I feel like there is a perpetual dance between "picking up on something" and figuring out what to do about it, when most people do not feel obligated to DO anything. I simply cannot handle any level of dishonesty - even when the other person is just in denial and not even aware they are lying in small ways to avoid the topic at hand once I start addressing the root issue. Oh, and I love your reasoning behind why you bought your purse. Lol I am all about the "one" thing!! We want the best TO US, and that's it. (I also just buy and use one type of pen.)
The “one thing” resonated with me so deeply 😂 from pens to one best friend, my car, my lip gloss, composition notebooks.. it’s ridiculous how I just decide this is my thing and that’s it
Have you ever had weird experiences when staring at people's eyes?, I had. Sometimes it feels like the other person's souls gets inside of me, it's almost a physical sensation (I'm male), other times it feels like our souls are hugging in a friendly way. One time it felt like the other person left their heart inside of me. I know it sounds weird, that's why now I try not to look inside their eyes, but to look at their whole face. It can be a very intense experience sometimes. I long to do it though, but it doesn't feel like I should most of the time.
ive had people step back and say "your eyes just lit up", apparently during intense conversation. Also once in court when i got called before the judge and the witness (aka bouncer) "the eyes, its the eyes, i will never forget the eyes"
@@markdejong2456 funny you say this. I have A LOT of people who will stop mid intense conversation that I've known for years and comment on my eye color.
Yesss.. finally found about this. Lol I have felt these experienced twice. 1st one like somekind of waving air or something and also very intense and I just felt I knew this person! Fact : that the 1st time we just met. Totally strangers. Eventhough after that we became friends. 2nd one I felt like I fell into the universe surrounding by many stars. Me and him like dance together and can easily understand each other to. Like our souls connected. Then in a blink of an eye, it dissapeared. I felt like.. what was that. Since then I try not to stare, just (what I called) a light-look to their eyes for the appropriate social relationship.
Omg this is so me- the using the bathroom without buying something. I cannot believe I am not the only one! It's the best example of this high moral code! All of your examples are spot on! Thank you so much for your video!
Katie, thank you for sharing so honestly and humbly! Even as an ISFJ (who doesn't have the unique intuitive gifts you do as an INFJ), I just want to keep saying "You're not alone in what you feel!" I can readily identify with your empathy and compassion for others, and I think you have an admirable way of standing in the gap for them! I pray that you continue to heal (you've been through a lot and given so much of yourself) and learn to love and embrace your unique gifts and talents; you don't need to be perfect to have a beautiful heart!
I relate to most of these!! 😭😭 But I can definitely say that there are different types of INFJs since we all grew up differently alongside when we were born. Example, I’m an INFJ, a Leo, and someone that grew up without emotional support from their family. My everyday life is very tiring and lonely :/ Hope all you INFJs out there know that you’re not alone ☺️
There definitely are different types of INFJs, I know I can't generalize and say we're all the same! I do want to mention that I, too, had a very painful childhood without much nurturing, acceptance, or emotional support from my family. Most days I am very lonely, drained, and sad. It just so happens that most of the days that I have the motivation to film a video- are days when I feel good. I don't ever want to project the image that I am happy and totally confident. I totally empathize with and relate to your situation, as do so many other INFJs in the comments. It's nice that we can all support each other, even in small ways like in youtube comments :)
Mazy- I’m an INFJ Leo and also had very little childhood emotional nurturing. If it’s any consolation, life has got better & better the older I become. You are not alone xxx
infj leo here, never lacked any emotional support in my childhood that I know off, but never had the feeling needing much either. I think from a very young age I learned to regulate my own emotions. I remember witnessing the power dynamics of my fellow kindergarten 'class' mates, and especially the violent out of control guy most were afraid of (but was popular with the all female teachers) at age 4. I was the only one getting along with him, but I treaded carefully. I also don't remember ever feeling lonely in my live when I'm alone. It does however happen in company of others, where there is some obligated group activity I don't particulary care for. Thinking off it, I cannot conceive of anyone being able to nurture me emotionally, when a child or now.
yes, it’s happening all the time to me, as well. Worst part is that you do notice when that happens (when the other person doesn’t get the connection you’re making), which in my case causes me to sometimes be irritated for a split second (thinking: why don’t they get this (again), or: mmh, how can I explain this connection to the other person [which in most cases I can’t cause it comes to my mind so intuitively and abstractly]), losing (the flow of) my train of thought thus making even less sense to them/confusing them further :)
Your empathy for “Joe” that enabled you to notice what was really going on, which then resulted in your own pain and emotional release....for me results in a somewhat similar feeling but more akin to a righteous anger and an overwhelming desire to defend the aggrieved party and give a voice to the unfairness of it. I instantly see red and the injustice compels me to speak or act in much the same way you did. I’ve learned to choose my battles for the most part and keep it to myself as the intensity of my reaction can scare or intimidate people (it’s probably a bit more aggressive than your approach and tinted with that anger) but I try to see it as a gift in those instances where I am justified in righting a wrong or restoring balance. I think it throws off our deeply ingrained sense of harmony to the point that we can’t let it go by. I believe if you pick your moments, just like you did with Joe, it can be a wonderful thing and part of the altruism and advocacy we can offer other human beings and feel like we’re doing something good even in some small way.
I'm an INFJ myself and it's so comforting to see someone else talk, feel and think the same way. It's obvious because you're an INFJ as well but its as if I'm looking into a mirror. Haha I am able to relate to not only what you've said but also the way you've said it, I am able to every emotion, every expression, the slight laugh between sentences, it's so weird but at the same time so comforting. I don't know how to put it. Thank you for this. :)
That thing you mentioned about not being able to work well in groups is so insightful. I always knew I didnt like it but thought I had a "problem". I always wanted to just work alone. I kinda feel liberated now. Thank you so much for sharing.
Stephanie McFarlane at my post grad group I embarrassed myself totally. It was my turn to speak and my voice was shaking so badly and I felt so sad thinking why I couldn’t just be normal and function like everyone else was. I ended up crying CRYING in front of everyone. I couldn’t run out lol I wanted to die. And some people in the group were so mean to me and were so angry and I could feel the contempt sigh. It’s a painful memory.
I dont' care what my type is anymore, i'm just so happy to find out that i'm not the only one processing life this way. Throughout my whole life, no one really made me feel understood or like didn't make those sharp, hurtful judgments about my feelings/actions. When u mentioned the bag/purse detail, i was like "wow that's so me", also ur example about the time u wanted to use the bathroom... Happened to me plenty of times and my peers or family are just like "why are u like that!". I think you're a HSP too because that explains a lot. Love the way u explained this
Someone needs to make an INFJ dating website, cause we're all horrible at it.
Roland East - You should get to work on that. ;)
omg! that is the best idea of all time...and such a true, true statement. i i captain
I saw this same comment at another INFJ video. 🤔
I've seen others, like ENFPs, who wonder where the INFJs are. It would be great to give them a place where the INFJs are. It would be a horrible business proposition. They are too rare. It would be better if an existing app had the ability to filter by MBTI. That has more chance of being successful.
Master's CS student and INFJ here. If you can come up with a way to determine who is an INFJ and protect the community from narcissists, I'll try to make it happen!
is anyone else an INFJ and are constantly worried you're not ACTUALLY and infj and you actually *are* insane?
Ummmm - yes 😊
Yes, especially when I was younger. The good news is that as you mature, and you begin to find ways to control some of these traits, create boundaries in life where they need to be, those feelings lessen greatly as the sense of self-acceptance grows. I hope that offer's you a small sense of comfort. I've also come to the conclusion that this is not some sort of jail sentence. I CAN still alter the things about myself I do not like. Via meditation, living in the moment, being aware of my own feelings instead of being Mr/Mrs.Emotional sponge, we need not always fall prey to our "infj-ness".
Yea, I used to think I had Schizoid Personality disorder.
HA! Right!
everyday
“My eyes aren’t telling you anything about me, they’re more of a receiver ...” that’s one of the best descriptions I’ve heard of the INFJ stare, I definitely relate.
When someone is talking, I am analyzing everything they say and everything they don't say. I am reading their intentions and figuring out why they're saying what they're saying. I've noticed that the "death stare" is too intense for some people and makes them try to hide the truth, so I learned to read people without staring.
I'm an INFJ. Listening to another INFJ makes me realise why we often feel lonely. Most of my thoughts and ideas are expressed internally and are difficult to translate to the outside world. When they do express themselves outwardly, it as if INFJs are communicating auckwardly via transmission from an uncannily familiar albeit far away planet.
INFJs are the most familiar paradoxical aliens you'll ever meet...a benevolent stranger who has come to visit your town and who knows everything about you but who you yourself know nothing about and probably never fully will.
I want to say for the most part understanding is a super power, trying to explain very difficult. Sick twist of ironic
Connecting with that a lot. By the time I was 13, I had spent many years trying to connect without success, so I just ended up feeling like I was a robot or someone not meant for this place.
Yes, Im usually in observation mode. Switching back and forth from interaction mode and observation mode quickly is exhausting.
I tried to speak like I'm writing a paper. I also took customer service and teaching jobs to learn small talk to fill in the gaps. Now that I got that it is finding the audience that would take the time to listen to the connections... Life's challenges.
Wow well worded..I've expressed this concept to ppl around my in a similar way but...they don't get it and...I loop back to exhibit A lmao.
Thanks for articulating that!
My brain always shuts down when I'm asked to brainstorm ideas with a group of people. Like guys I swear I'm good at this but I need you all out.
Awesomely put
I experienced this, as well as people not understanding my ideas fully and letting them go by the wayside so I check out mentally cause I feel like the black sheep.
Same
Absolutely same!
😂 😂 Same
I’ve noticed that people that
have something to hide react to me negatively on the first meeting
They recognize I can see right through them.
I don’t do it on purpose. It automatic.
I totally agree!! I have this happen so much! They are like sensing that I can see their shit and they don’t like me and don’t even know me. So wild!!
I just unconsciously did the INFJ stare to one of my classmates and i clearly can see that she felt uncomfortable. I'm not close with the person and i was there because she had a conversation with my friends. I tried to avoid the eye contact as much as i can like how katie did but my stare are too deep everytime, that she feel my stare. Btw, what attracts me to stare at her too much instead of others are that today is her birthday. I didn't wish her birthday. I want to, but I'm too shy 😓
@infj-heyoka -empath Speaking is another level for me and i can't help being unconsciously staring at her. The situation is, we sit a little far because we sit on the floor so each of us having our own space. So, it's kinda far and hard for me to go to her and talk 😔 And you're right, i don't have anything to say to her besides telling her happy birthday and my friend is the one who's talking to her. I'm just happen to be there. That's also why i think it hard to suddenly said happy birthday to her when we don't know each other and the sit are kind of apart. But i can feel that she's happy yesterday. I saw some of her friends making suprise party for her after that 🤗
@infj-heyoka -empath No, I'm not 😂😂😂 I'm straight. That's just how I'm trying to get to know her but to shy to talk. Introvert kind of things 🤗
@infj-heyoka -empath Because it her birthday that day and it attract me to get to know her when i know its her birthday. Usually i don't even stare at her or anything. Don't worry, i didn't do anything to her 😂
"Ok look away. Ok hold eye contact again. Ok now let's look at something else." Holy shit, I thought that was *my* signature move
This is freaking HILARIOUS!! lol hahaha
I have to look away if they want me to pay attention.
Hahaha, me too, this is great.just when I thought I didn’t understand humans in general, ya’ll wonderfully throw me for a loop. Thank you all.
Lmaooooo❤
@@christopherj5780 RIGHT! and then they get mad for no eye contact....but most ppl can't handle the stare anyway...
INFJ and have been told my whole life that I either look mad or intense. Nope, just taking it all in and processing it.
Sure you're j and not p?
I have been infp and infj. Totally relate
@@Mr11kankan which one has an expression less face? J or P?
Yes, people always tell me to smile. "Ok, would that make you feel better?"
@@post-humangod2575 In the end it depends if I want to be friendly and be superficially happy. Sometime I dont want to meet people deeper than their surface if I have determined for myself I dont like them deeper or fundamentally disagree.
So yes it is Perceiving function and Judging function that both result in withdrawing somehow from "them".
My expressionless face is my expression. It is a choice of response if I am not absorbing info and taking in stuff. If I feel comfortable with my original perceptions/intuition of the scenario I am in then I will relax and express confidently whatever I am feeling like expressing and If I have made a determination/decision(judging function) of the other person and for myself I move forward from that decision. If the the perceiving function is dominant at the time I might be more indecisive and withdraw for personal protection of absorbing what is going on(of myself and others) since I don't feel assertive in my determination. I dont owe people my presence or expression but I get it bring moods down of others which is why I sometimes just superficially enjoy the time I find myself in.
Our minds are like shifting
sand. Always looking to connect.
Imagine a world of INFJ's ermpaths.
Peace and love to all.
Rana Kosten shifting sand - that’s a good way to put it.
Imagine a government of empaths, eternally planning the greatest utopia ever but never actually making it happen. Welcome to the INFJ mind 🧐
How slow and humiliating it must be like to be you
I’m a dark empath not an ermpath lol
If you have people in your life with whom you can have non-linear conversations with, never let them go.
We find the answer in the Void Book of the 5 Rings. Yeah, I know, out of the Kenjustsu Dojo. My natural thought process. Strange huh? I do this with everything. Common behavior becomes Fencing Techniques. I do this with much. Part of the Air Book.
@kelly hoover You are very welcome. I hope I helped you somewhat. The topic is the same. I used my subjective perspective is all. We all spring from the same source, yet see things ever so slightly differently based on life experiences, mine is the Dojo where I feel most accepted, understood. Signed....No One aka Mu Shin.
There is a movie. Circle of Iron, written by Sifu Lee, acted by David Carradine. In the end you see the book of the Void. It's an easier way of seeing the Void than deciphering Musashi Sensei and the Go Rin No Sho. Because we teach this as Kenjutsu Instrutors, its's our Duty to translate it for Students of the Michi or Way (Tao) or "Do" in Nihongo. It's not a Religion but a Hybrid Shinto Zen Buddhist Philosophy, for I am a Christian, just not a Robot of a Church. My faith is in my Kokoro (Heart). The Book itself is elusive. You have to have the life experience and practiced the Waza (techniques) to understand what Musashi Kensei was saying. At the very least it gives us something to consider......This is a good place for me to Stop. There is always another day for more if time allows.
But what if you Cannot find us in the first place? Admittedly Kengu life is Fun and difficult to explain.
@kelly hoover I did notice that you felt it was a bit non linear. Was it really Down the Rabbit Hole, I am unsure of this myself? Maybe just a similar Den. I'm going out to play with 5-6 month old Kittens and have dinner with an old Reverend friend of mine tonight. He drags me to his place kicking and screaming regularly. When I come home I may just practice Sword Kata, providing the Reverend doesn't give me too many Beers I don't drink at home. The Duality of Life. I Hope you feel a bit better about things. Just know, You aren't alone.
@kelly hoover Uh Oh. You realized I'm a Healthcare Professional....yikes.
I feel like people mistrust me because I'm too honest. They don't believe someone can be that honest, and then they doubt what I say. It's so crazy to me.
@JessicaBelle I don't go around telling people I'm honest, I just am. I sit there and watch someone telling a huge yarn about something I know isn't true because I was there, and people are captivated by it, accept it unquestioningly. But other times, when I say something, they look at me like I have 2 heads and question the validity of it.
ᒧⴹⵢⵢ𐌠ⵎᗅ𐌇ⴹᒪᒪⴹ...And here you are AGAIN for the nth time, attacking people for expressing a thought or opinion. What is your problem?! May all the hateful energy you send to others return to you quickly.
It’s like having a 4D conversation where you feel and see everything the other person is thinking and feeling.
Lol , perfectly said , love that !
yes
Well put
INFJ videos make me wanna cry. I feel so out of place every day then I listen to this and it sounds like Katie is documenting my life and telling the story the way I ( and no one else I know) would. Thank for making this
That's exactly how I feel (this is a sentence I hardly ever use haha)
Jackie Burhans I agree completely. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong in this world. I’m getting there though. Slowly, but surely. This is life. Wanna make the best out of it.
Yes it's so relatable, and it's almost soothing to hear because it's something i go through any and everyday but cannot explain to people if i have to.
INFJ here. yeah. i have the same "living" sometimes i "talk" to much and at the end i say" did you follow me?" only to be sure i don't lost the person in the talking. :x
'I am without doubt healthier when alone', as well as thinking clearer.
Yeessss
Yeah...I do need to get by myself to just be able to think!!!!
Me too
🎯!!!
I’ve never heard anyone articulate the personality traits of INFJ’s so well before - along with their struggles and paradoxes. I can relate to EVERYTHING you’ve said.
I think the most common thing for INFJs and introverts is feeling isolated or alienated by others. I have never really felt like i belong anywhere.
Same here. Exactly how it is.
The Andrew K Channel , as an INFJ, you will find TOTAL understanding in TLiG.org. Best thing ever!
I dont think others completely isolate us.. i think we do it to ourselves.. was told by my shrink a couple months ago i had an INFJ personality.. maybe im looking into this stuff too deep... who knows.
@@TimSpaw1leg I think both are true.
Tim Spaw , "i might be an infj" + "i could be looking in too deep" hahahahahaha! Id say, confirmed.
This is the nicest, most interesting comment section I've seen. People with nothing to prove!
Huh, you are so right! Didn't think of it first xD
Lmao cuz most of us here are INFJ
Because we're not competitive. We're so cool...🥰
I laugh when you said on the last part "i love myself" then said "im trying to" infj's is also realistic 😂
Relatable.
Eye contact....yes! I've learned how powerful my STARE is. I'm literally receiving a conversation with that other person's soul. Sometimes, I've learned that I need to "deny" eye contact with certain individuals. Kinda like " access denied" if that makes any sense to anyone else...lol. Bc quite frankly in my best interest, I don't want to communicate with their soul...lol.
This spoke to me on a spiritual level 😭😭
woah, i can relate. never heard it put this way.
I agree! I avoid eye contact with people who give off bad vibes.
Nicely said!
I’m 51% E (ENFJ) but I have this issue as well. Sometimes when I go into my head I feel like I can connect and read consciousness around me. Sometimes I unintentionally project my “aura” too much and I absorb a lot of other peoples energies as well. I end up connecting with a lot of people without saying a word.
"i usually cant think, in the presence of another person.." Story of my life as an INFJ haha
P.S. This video made me smile and you should keep chatting about being an INFJ :)
"i usually cant think, in the presence of another person.." Do you think it might be because you are taking in so much information about the people and situation in which you are surrounded? I too, am INFJ, and I think that is exactly why I would make the same statement you just made.
Bill Rankin I think it’s for a number of reasons and it also depends on the social situation.
I definitely understand what you are saying and experience something similar. When I go to social events.. I could be talking to someone but my brain will be reading the emotional temperature of the room at the same time. Which takes some of my mental “bandwidth” which makes it hard to fully engage in the discussion I’m having.
Other times I feel it’s because it takes me a while to fully process my thoughts. Both in an emotional way and intellectual way. So when I am standing in front of someone formulating an idea/thought I get stuck sometimes because I end up just lost in my mind processing haha!!
So yeah, for me there are definitely a couple reasons. More than I’ve listed.. but I think you’re on the money with your suggestion. I for sure relate to what you are saying :)
Agreed, and your bandwidth analogy is spot on.
Super relatable. I'll share a little too:
For years I felt thought suffocation was my unique problem. It felt like being an almost thinking person, like a rare condition I hadn't heard of yet, that was only aggravated when more people were added to a room. I wondered if I had been dropped on a specific part of my head as baby in a unique way that made the sight of people more difficult to process. That people crowded thought. Subjectively my perceiving part of the brain was too slow for the thinking part so all the thinking would bounce around unconsciously in a useless, wild form until perception caught up, or the thinker found a way to make sound-bites and fit thought into the right mold. All the perfect, articulate answers come hours later after the opportune moments.
These days with group work and with mild inferiority I'll say, "I'm sorry, I haven't formed an opinion yet. Give me some more time to mull over the details." Then I'll send them what my mind was hiding in written form over media. If contributions are expected it's all pre-prepared so that the idiot I'll be can simply perform the idiot task of courier:
"uh, yeah. It's all in there where I wrote it."
"but we'd like to hear some of your thoughts."
"I'm good. Just have a read when you have some time." [retreat into self]
It seems most are uneducated about cognitive styles. At my work rumour has got to me that my boss has described me as a "very smart person who behaves like an idiot" due to how slowly thoughts form. "What’s up with this guy? He just stares into space a lot." I stand there stifled still taking things in while others have already jumped to the simple answer. Such is life as an intuitive thinker.
Well I am a 62 year woman… who is an INFJ…this is July 2024. I just noticed that this is a 4 year old video. I want to thank you for this content. I’ve watched so many INFJ videos and this video hit my home heart the most. The things you described in your content resonated with me down to my core.
I''m an INFJ and watching you talk is like looking in a mirror. Wow.
Yes, I feel the same. Mirror.
Yes, totally!
Yep, same here. Strange.
Same.
Right??? I judge myself so much harder though haha
I once asked a woman I didn’t know who was sitting in front of me in church if I could hug her. I could just feel her sadness. She wasn’t crying or anything but I just felt her sadness. She agreed and I hugged her. Some time later I learned she had, had cancer and had passed away.
Good for you being loving 😊
That's beautiful, but I don't relate.
She's sure going to give you that hug when you get to heaven & thank you cause you gave her what she really needed..God bless you: )
Yes i had to learn how to know if i should Try and talk to people and help or not
God bless you.
There is nothing wrong or inappropriate about being considerate, fair and compassionate. You are a voice to make the world a better place. From a senior INFJ
"Does that make sense?"
Literally the epitome of being an infj 😆
I SAY THIS EVERY DAY AFTER EVERY SENTENCE 😅😅😅
Omg I say that so much
When you were telling that story about “Joe” I was ROOTING for you. I TOTALLY relate to that and I am proud of you for handling it the way you did.
Been there too gurl 😅
Yeah agreed. Your reaction was heroic.
Agreed! The vulnerable and "powerless" must be supported raised up and defended. I believe that's one of our purposes. Amazing what you did :)
i literally felt so anxious as if i was joe by hearing this-
I had no idea this “INFJ” thing existed until now. It feels really weird hearing someone talk about things the same way I do, especially the part about empathy. I never expected there to be an actual label that explains why I am the way I am either. I don’t even know what to think right now. Thank you a million times for making this video!
INFJ here, agree on all fronts..... any other INFJ's feel they're stuck in their heads with no connection to both their physical bodies & words, I almost prefer silence over communicating.
Paul Messis yes! Yoga and cardio helps me feel a little more in my body. Coffee helps me connect. But that’s something I often feel too
As the male type ... All the time man!
Yes but I am over the years I've been able to block out the negative express myself more then I used but I still run into misunderstanding but I do the best I can I think it's going to help somebody else
Truth.
...the again...we Are here. We are just 'quiet' about it....hard to be 'seen' in a screaming world. 😶
You’re a lovely soul. There’s a reason INFJ’s are rare, their a conduit to awakening other souls
*They're
Sorry, I'd want someone to help me out, so I'm compelled to let you know. Please don't hate me.
Much love.
Richard Cook
So true. My dear so true
Richard Cook we are sooooo incredibly sensitive to the world and people around us. I cant do small talk, because i am too busy feeling their feelings lololol
@@slitheringsoundcat7996 lol
@@evieoneder From one to another please learn to protect yourself. I recommend you build a shield around you. Like an invisible cloak. It is not healthy to be 'open' to absorbing others feelings 24/7. It will ultimately damage your abilities as an INFJ and may compromise your MH. INFJs must protect themselves first in order to help others. It is very important. I can't stress it enough. Even though we are sensitive to others, we are also strong. But resonating with others feelings will weaken our natural strength. Then we are no good for us or others. Look after you first. This is not selfish. This comes from a place of love.
ps as an INFJ you need to have strong barriers. That way when you choose to help others, it is your choice, a conscience decision and with the appropriate energy and focus. As an INFJ, if you live life in a reacative way, you will exhaust yourself and other areas of your life may be compromised. People will no longer see your value. They will see you as a failure and your desire to help wont even be wanted. This of course is the exact opposite of what an INFJ would want.
The stare and the “thinking face.” I relate to that so hard lol. Girl own it!! You are super special! I think that once you own these traits to the point that you don’t feel like you have to justify or make excuses for the parts that are special about you, you’ll be a lot more confident and even more socially at ease. For me, it took a few therapy sessions to fully feel seen and accepted for some of my “rare” traits (because yeah, INFJs can feel kind of like an alien!). My confidence coming out of that though let me be just be at peace with myself in a tangible way, and my insecurity of being different didn’t “check me out” of the present nearly as often as it did before. Being different and being fine with it I think is the core of confidence, and confidence allows you to stay connected, despite whether the other person even “gets” you or not. Yeah girl, you’re super special and I think you just need to own it ;)
Good observation! 👍
I’m an INFJ and you’re the first INFJ youtuber I’ve watched that felt like I was watching myself speak. Just the way you speak and talk through points. Sounds just like me. I experience all of these things too. I’m currently struggling with the empathy. I feel everything as if I’m the one it’s happening to and recently realized friends/loved ones hear/witness the same thing and are just like “that stinks..” and they move right on. 🤯
Yka Marie SAME HERE 🤯
As a survivor of trauma and an INFJ...I DOUBLE feel u...many professionals don't have enough empathy to have people's lives in their hands...❤🌺
Well i had lot of problems with this too but, you have to realise it today or tomorrow that you can only do so much.. It is a fact that none of us can change. I am sure you have thought of this too but, to actually put it into practice is annoying. I used certain limitations on myself so that i take care of myself, coz if i take care of myself then only i will take care of others 🤷🏻♂️. Many a times i have seen the root of the problem but when you try to help out the person, the person doesn't wish to change and solve that problem once and for all 🤷🏻♂️ either you can waste your time or accept the fact that some realities people have to face alone. But that doesn't mean do nothing. Keep in mind the stakes and the current position, don't get swayed by the emotions. They are our BIGGEST asset as INFJ. It's a double edged sword that we wield and only a few are allowed to wield it.
P. S i couldn't control but try to help out hopefully it does help :P 😂
I can literally finish your sentences... nailed it.
I thought this too…like the same way I tell a story 😅 it’s like I can hear you thinking
Standing up for others is not a bad thing.Its admirable.
Kaire Meriniit it’s exhausting when you’re the only one who does it
@@brokenbitch9957 It is, and at the same time what Kaire wrote is 100% true. Integrity and subtle power is beautiful in humans.
I literally scrolled down to the comments hoping to see that someone had addressed this. ❤️
It is usually a good thing. But the "standing up for someone" has to be within reason. Imagine somebody running into someone else (not by accident, but cleary because the person doesn't care about others) while running on the street. You see that person now running towards you. Now imagine yourself feeling that overwhelming sense of justice or empathy in yourself. The reasonable/admirable thing to do would be to tell them that their behavior is bad etc. The unreasonable thing to do would be to attack them and swing punches towards them. "Standing up for someone else" is only a good thing to do if the person who you are standing up for even cares about the injustice that has taken place against them. Let's say the person who got run into just doesn't care about that other person running into them. If you run after that person to scald them, you just make a "deal" out of a "no deal" situation.
Yes me too!
Your level of empathy for your classmate was wonderful and I’m sure it meant a lot to him in the moment. You are a gift to the world, don’t feel like you need to change.
Me and my friends have noticed that as we, INFJ's, talk about something that matters to us, we slowly raise our voice without noticing. Great video btw, you are beautiful :)
That’s caused pressure speech! I do it too, It’s related to anxiety and other mental illnesses
Lol omg, how accurate! This constantly happens to me and ppl are always asking why I'm yelling so loud.. i thought it was my hearing but now i know 😋😋
So true
I think one of the most basic traits is what you are doing right here and now: extensive self-analysis.
Not because we are self absorbed, just because we don't only want to be able to understand everyone else, but also ourselves, for ourselves, and also in order to be able to explain the way we work to others. Like a personal user guide, because we know we are hard to understand. We want to make interaction with us easier for others.
Unfortunately that has the tendency to only confuse most people even more because they don't understand what we're on about! :D
Yes! It is quite the opposite of being self-absorbed. "Like a personal user guide, because we know we are hard to understand," - brilliant description. One of the hardest insults for me to hear is that I am self-centered. I feel so much the opposite of that at my core, but it's hard not to take someone's opinion of me seriously when they perceive me in that way. I find that the more inner work and extensive self-analysis I do, the further I can see into another person's inner experience. It increases my understanding, my compassion.. it opens my mind to the endless nuances and intricacies of every single personality, every single other complex human being out there. Getting to know my condition is simultaneously the act of getting to know THE human condition, our collective humanity. I loved your comment, thank you!
@@katiemarie8899
Precisely.
And thanks. :)
@@katiemarie8899 ikr! When I was a teenager, I always fought with my parents, especially my mom. She always said to me that I'm selfish. At that time, I was so angry why she said that and in my head I have many reasons why I'm not selfish. But she is. Idk why she thought like that. Its really hurt me.
@@_SY77 It is called "projection," and yes, it sucks and is very wrong. Don't let people do that to you again.
I've basically given up on seeing any value in descriptions of myself from others. No matter how much energy you put in making yourself understood, it doesn't land anyway. And I find I live a lot better not giving a damn about what others think of me. 49yr old male infj.
Totally relate. You’re doing fine. It all has its purpose and will balance out as you continue to grow and shape your life.
We digress a lot during a conversation - almost like we’re having our multiple thoughts out loud. It’s amazing. When I see fellow INFJs, we all have similar eye movements, thought process, speech patterns, awkward and self-conscious body language. It’s a treat to watch these videos. I don’t encounter many INFJs in real life.
This is the 1st video of hers I have watched, and I couldn't agree more. I'm kinda blown away... It's got me seeing so much. Cheers and all the best out there !
I have never encountered another infj in person, I would love too though.!
Yes, yes, and yes (multiple thoughts at once). Yep!
“Irrationally radical empathy” Nailed it!
I got the, "Are you an angel?" question, then from the same person a little later she asked if I was a demon. She kept staring at me switching back and forth trying to read me. I'd see the look on her face change from total adoration to absolute fear. I kept telling her that I wasn't either. Just a human being. But I was reading her and she seemed astonished that I could understand her so spot on. So she vacillated between thinking I had supernatural powers but couldn't tell if they were good powers or bad powers. I kept trying to assure her that I had no supernatural abilities. She left, kissing my hand like I was some sort of angel. It felt totally creepy!!!
lol this made me laugh. yea, I have people stare at me and It makes me so insecure obviously because thats our first instinct and thought is that somethings wrong with us but maybe it is because we give a vibe and glow and people try to figure us out or read us.
this has happened to me too-people saying that I have supernatural powers or that i’m 🤢 like an angel/ET being
my friends sometimes ask me if i'm sad or mad or they will say your zoning out again, but really my brain is going haywire with all the things i could possibly think at one time.
Wow. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, yes, and yes.
Yes. And when I said nothing. I'm happy not sad or mad. But they didnt believe me. They'll say my face looks gloomy/scary. They even tell me, when my face is scary-mode-on-but-I-didnt-realize-coz-I-just-feel-soso, they scare to approached me and scare to talk to me. I just.. dunno I have to feel happy because they leave me alone and I can continue my busy-thinking again or feel sad because in that way they just left me behind and I will feel sad. Nah this moment what they think of me become reality. Dang
Me too! My "resting face" looks mad/sad to others. Then they tell me I'm angry, when I'm not, seriously not.
OMG! And no one has a clue how loud it is inside our heads! We're constantly trying to make sense of and sort the multitude of ideas and thoughts going on in our brains.
Wow, thank you for making me cry. Hearing such a young person talk about all the things I experienced all my life. I am 67 y.o. and only found out about my INFJ-hood early this year. Now I can put the jigsaw together, better late than never.
Thank you adrian w. I'm 50 and just truly learning about it now. I don't think any of my therapists were any good, if this is the first I am hearing of it.
I didn't want to say anything, because I felt foolish for not knowing this by my age, but like others on this platform, you have given me some more courage to express myself and in return I hope to encourage others.
@@procyonlotor1906 Merci beaucoup. There is a band in the Netherlands with the name Racoon. No idea why they dropped the other "C". Dyslexia? 15 yrs ago they wrote "Love you more" . It's because of your name, I wanted you to know. Bear used to be my nickname. All my life I try to help others, never thought though, I was doing it here on you tube . I hope for you, that you will get a sweet message from someone someday too, as a reaction to something you wrote. So, please express yourself like you did today, everyday. I wish you strength.
Adrian
me too, though I learned about it when I was 59.
well said, i have a similar almost debilitating sensitivity to strong emotions of others, my biggest one is embarassment, when i see someone humiliated or embarrassed i have a physical reaction as if i am the one personally embarrassed, the twisted gut, the flushed face, fight or flight panic ect. like when a stranger drops something at the grocery store
Exactly.. same.
You're the most INFJ I have come across here on TH-cam. I related heavily on the empathy and the dishonesty parts. It feels nice to hear from someone else what usually goes on in your head, but can't, or don't tell anyone because they won't understand or dismiss it as just talk. It's refreshing.
All For Yahweh hi 👋 I would love to read your poetry 💕
@@AFY-nd5nr I'd love to read your poetry as well :)
As an INFJ, I am obsessed with notebooks and pens lmao! I have my own favorite pens
That's awesome ...I love pens ...certain paper ..ohhh I LIKE ROCKS ..🐿😇
I like Pilot extra fine point, black.
+what interest the most are tokens of life that hold deeper meaning or value. when it aquires more then one meaning to posses or to have. normally we keep it or keep it as extra. but we don't always keep something if deposible has more logic to keep we might have that if we can recycle it. we think longer term goals when it in are awareness. does that give enough information?
Totally true. I've been a fountain pen collector since I was like 13 years old, and I don't even know how I discovered a love of pens but I still love writing and calligraphy and beautifully crafted fountain pens (especially antique flex nib pens) to this day. And I love fine notebooks as well.
Me too, lol! Black pens and beautiful or cool notebooks. STAPLES and OFFICE DEPOT are my toy stores so to speak. 😊👍🏽
"INFJs keep being your alien self, I love you all, I love myself" that is the perfect morning affirmation 😂🙏🏾It's cool that you're an INFJ that is comfortable articulating yourself so well in front of the camera because I could be journaling or talking out loud (to myself to be honest) and as soon as I turn the camera on, its a similar effect as if another person comes in the room. My mind doesn't flow as freely. I totally resonate with what you shared.
non-linear jumps 1000% feel that, and is a bummer when others can't reciprocate it
Yes, and I didn't even realize how much of a jump I have made because for me it was all logical and natural and I get annoyed when people can not follow. I just thought that they didn't listen to what I was saying because they don't care and this hurt me. So it's all actually a big misunderstanding from my wrong assumptions. Thanks for clarifying this to me. I am an Infj by the way.
quantum mindset
Why not grow up and “use your words” to describe it to others instead of being disappointed and miffed that they “just don’t get it” ...?
I think the thing that makes me feel most alienated is my need to see patterns in behaviors from others. I am constantly trying to see what makes them feel happy/sad/any emotion. I feel like I read people like a book instead of seeing them in front of me😬
MultiFabulous14 THIS!
Eye contact,iget people telling me you put me off you stare right in my eyes when you talk to me it makes people feel all weird they can't tell me what they were saying, you have just told my life the way it is glad I'm not the only one
Very well said!
Incredible. I totally relate to everything! I think that we INFJs are very into personality types because we feel like aliens all the time and we want to know why
Speaking up for someone who I see as being wronged takes up so much of my energy that I feel weak and vulnerable afterwards and thus need alone time to recuperate.
Sometimes days for me. Definitely agree!!!
Please try meditation afterwards, it could help you rejuvenate with unlimited positive cosmic energy.
Strangely I feel empowered after I take up someone who has been wronged in my opinion. I feel like I was the one who was wronged, then after I confront and try to diffuse the situation I feel like Ive righted a wrong. I do have an increased heart rate and I’m emotional, but also feel elated on some level.
While what she did was very dangerous with serious repercussions and could have been better handled by being reported to the authorities (be careful how you make your complaint and don't get too upset if they ignore it), the fact she so bravely stood up for others instead of ignoring it is very attractive to me and frankly a bit of a turn on.
(Nearly 46 and just found out I'm an INFJ and at least now the emotional and mental drain makes sense to me now...)
Stay safe and good luck!
Veronica.....I once spoke up for a tubby boy that a group of older boys Tripped on the school bus when I was in 4th grade. All his lunch spilled out everywhere, and he cried. I on the other-hand was magnificently cruel to the three older bullies. They just stood there amazed, me being a little girl. I can t tolerate bullies. One mentor told me I had Too much compassion. An english professor told me I should be a writer? I resemble both of those remarks.
.
Never stop defending those that are wronged. Agree with all your actions as an INFJ. Unfairness sets me off all the time and also gets me in trouble!
Traditionally this personality trait has been realized by the mystics from all ages and cultures. As an INFJ you're compelled to build harmony from within all the way into the chaotic world outside. This is damn difficult particularly in the modern time where social and conceptual structures constantly shift their boundaries and focus. As you make it through and grow older you eventually develop the resilience and strength to have your light shine through into the wider surroundings and feel at home in the world around. Thanks for sharing.
"Look at them...too much, look away...now look back." I'm glad to know that someone else has to do this. Seeing is feeling and even sometimes touching so it gets to be awkward. What you see, you change; what you hear changes you; what you touch, you become part of. But, when seeing is touching, you become part of the other person more often than you want to.
Yeah, non-linear Conversations at lightening speed... it’s called “tracking”, most people cannot do that, and it is a wonderful gift, if you are in the right job or place in your life, where you can use it to help people.
I am an ENFJ and thanks for sharing the true name. I truly enjoy IN/EN personality types because I do not feel like I have to "carry" the conversation.
What are good jobs for this skill??
@@elainacordova4397 Entrepreneur, Educator, Business Professional, Banking, or any job where you have to remember loads of factual information. You can do all of these jobs relatively alone also, to prevent your anxiety from skyrocketing.
Katie, you're a genuine INFJ....and a beautiful ❤️ one to. I can hear in your voice and actions ☺️ you're awesome...
You’re absolutely correct. I’m a quiet INFJ as well, but quick to stand up to bullies 😊
I know your a true INFJ when thinking about it hurts you, I'm the same way I can feel hurt from the same situation as many times as I allow it from just remembering the moments
Literally, is like having infj ptsd
Ahhhh! The stare!! haha. An old coworker used to ask me to “stop scanning everybody!” and it really is an effort to appear as if you aren’t...
I've learned over the years as an INFJ how to manage some of my characteristics. Like when my mind wants to make those jumps that no one else will follow, I've learned not to speak all of what I'm thinking, and instead speak like I'm doing a simple instructional tutorial. The problem with that is that I feel restricted and it makes me concerned that it will make my creativity atrophy. It's way more fun to do the multipoint hyperspace idea thing, but you need someone you can do it with, or we're just not having any fun anymore.
Hi Walter, I just learned about the INFJ personality type and I’ve been in complete awe the last 24 hours.. The non linear jumps in ideas concepts and conversations have brought me success but sometimes lots of stress and misunderstandings when dealing with people.
Sometimes I can tell that the people that I’m trying to explain something to, are wondering if I’m a genius or a complete doofus.. My projects and work are usually a mess until they aren’t, the last piece brings everything together and then the questions come on how I was able to figure out that, or how did I got that idea. My thought was that everyone is capable of doing this things, they just choose not to.
I love the multipoint hyperspace idea concept, it just clicks.
All of this ^^^^. Also I usually have and idea like these and I will blurt out the last sentence to the idea and gave to back track to how I got there. About everything though. When I need something and need to explain it to someone who has no idea what I'm talking about, it is a complete failure. Dont ask me to play pictionary
100% there with you. It gets a bit easier as you get older but even at 52, I'm still the alien in the room. LOL.
Snap. Though I just came to some conclusions that I may be hyperfocus/ASD. Then this video.
Are INFJs ASD or co-morbid with it?
I feel you. I'm 55 and getting more sensitive
JessicaBelle I do this, too. I’m 51 and while some of the things described in this video still have a profound impact like when I was much younger, some situations I’ve learned to cope with better. I also avoid people because it seems easier, but I am sad because I love being with people.
Ive been called an alien on multiple occassions
I’m 51.... this is so good to hear... I do wish this platform was available when I was your age. I’ve learned ways to cope and compensate for my deficits as well as ways to leverage my strengths. Thank you for doing this
OMG I have NEVER listened to someone n felt and/or understood and/or thought I was looking in the mirror at myself speaking the way u move ur hands the rhythm of how u speak is identical to how I am I swear ur like my lost siamese twin lol the purse thing n the pen thing my mind is literally blown right now!! Lol I only watched this video but now I'm going to sit here and watch every single one of ur videos tonight. Thank u for making me think at least there is 1 other "alien" like me out there ha ha ha!
It's so rare to see someone being this honest about their inner world.
I almost forgot it was possible !
Your video inspired me to be more open about my own and talk freely about it.
It's beautiful how aware you are of the way your mind works.
But...if you find the perfect item THE STORE WILL STOP STOCKING IT !
and your favorite show will get canceled
girl6girl6 this happens way more often than I’d like. Finally a show I love, next episode, we’re canceling. But I actually like this one. Stupid everyone for liking other stuff. LOL
OMG your story about 'Joe' gave me the chills,, totally relate as an empathic INFJ 🌺
Hello fellow alien INFJ'S.
LOL how i can relate to this on a different level. I am a alpha type personality as well as a strong empath on top of being an INFJ.
People tell me i intimidate them because i can be so intense one second and aloof the next in a conversation. I stare people down and it makes them very nervous even though i don't have any thing on my mind except for an insatiable appetite for knowledge that i might obtain from the unspoken words they are sending me.
I love staring at the water at a nearby lake. I can sit there for hours and never say a word or look away unless there are people around.
This sounds weird but i often read body language and sometimes i go on information overload.
I have to avoid crowds for this very reason. TMI and it drives me batty sometimes because i feel so strongly that I don't fit in.
I often feel like an outsider too. I can often feel somehow where a conversation is going before it begins.
Are any of these traits familiar to any of you?
Thanks for a good video.
Me too. Totally tmi from ppl! No body gets me.... I sometimes try. Mostly to no evail. From my unique abilities . My gifts are a curse in this 3 D bs matrix. So glad to know there are others similar to me. Thanks 😊
@@kellycrooks4509
It seems like the more the tide of the world changes the more i don't fit in.
As an empath as all INFJ'S are, the louder the vibration seems to be to me. I want so badly to stop all of this crazy insanity but the louder i get the less people want to hear my point if view. I can read people a mile away it seems and i seem to know when people are coming to visit me.
Most of the sites on TH-cam for infj's seem to echo thus same sentiment.
So how do you handle the white noise thats going on around you?
I am trying to ignore it but thats not very realistic in my case.
Whoa! Why do I feel like you are describing me? I have been called creepy or have given ppl the wrong ideas in the past due to my stares so these days I just look at the ground or the sky or at neutral objects. I have been told I switch personalities like a weirdo... I switch based on my mood & who I am with ... And yes staring at water is amazing... But I don't do it so much anymore... Hmmm stresses of life.
Hello
Are you literally describing me 😂
My goodness I always love hearing other INFJ speak. We think our ways are so strange (which they are haha) but hearing someone else speak of the same weirdness feels so validating it’s absolutely amazing! I have big issues with working in groups and it’s a huge problem because in my work I have to do this and it’s hard explaining to others that I work best on my own. I can’t think around other people is exactly what I would say! My sister is INTJ and it was amazing growing with her. Dad is INFP and we also get along but not as deep as INTJ. Thanks for sharing 🤗
"if I have to run or climb a tree..." OMG, you have no idea how often I use that very thing to explain my one things to other people, it's either that or 'what if a bear comes out of nowhere...' I feel much less crazy now, thank you
"I usually can't think in the presence of another person..." This is so affirming! My entire life (I'm 57) I thought I was the only one who struggled with this affliction. I wouldn't be surprised if this phenomenon is directly due to the INFJ's sensitivity to outside stimulus. Just the shear amount of it that social interactions present to our type, we have no choice but to deal with the full array of stimulus due to our inability to screen stuff out. Given this, I've often found the pace of group (more than two) interactions to be too swift. I've often thought, if I could magically press a button to make my social encounters go at a slower pace, then I could at least process what was happening WHILE it was happening, and thereby catch more chances to interact. Of course, afterword, I would still promptly retreat into my hermit hole in order to recover from the experience of talking to people.
Me too
To stand up in the face of injustice is nothing short of courageous. Never be ashamed of your courage. You did right by "Joe" he is lucky to have had representation when he could not do so himself at that moment.
This video was refreshing and a joy to watch. Please keep making them OK?
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, it's like I'm watching a younger version of myself. Take heart, things will become easier in time.
That’s exactly what I thought! The experience of 20 years of marriage to someone of a different type, and raising 4 kids who are quite different from me, has forced me to engage and activate other parts of myself that (aside from these relationships) I would have let lie.
But everything she describes in this video is my home turf, my natural way of being. It’s a relief finding others who process life this way. And it’s also a relief to know time and experience balance things out. The biggest shift I’ve seen over time is the growth of emotional boundaries, learning how to not let others’ emotions invade and take me over (that emotional sponge problem)... learning to still hear my own inner voice even if I’m in a crowd.
Same here! This is exactly how I used to be when I was younger (I‘m 27 now). Super glad to say that a lot of these things have mellowed out.
“In the end it must be as it is and always has been: great things remain for the great, abysses for the profound, nuances and shudders for the refined, and, in brief, all that is rare for the rare.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
I feel you. Perhaps Nietzsche was also "one of us". "If others want to define you.don't linger in their pond. Swim away from the ignorance & find your ocean." ------ Dodinsky I have a great time being around rocks and water, ALONE. I've been an "anamoly"all my life. Now I embrace it and I am glad to know that I am not ONLY one. Sun♎ Moon ♋ Rising ♐. LP#11 Honestly & truth reign supreme..
I’m an INFP. When I was watching 6:09 (when you share how you understood the kid and stood out helping him), I felt so touched that my tears suddenly burst out😿… As someone who has social anxiety and often been seen as “antisocial” or a “weird outsider”, I feel like finally there is someone who is genuinely kind and can understand me. Your traits are not just traits, they are capabilities and qualities. Thank you for standing out for the kid in the cinematography class and choosing to do the right things for who’s needed or helpless. I’m so grateful that there are awesome humans like you existing in this cold and cruel world. Not all humans are like you, which makes you more precious and special, I believe. :) In the end thank you so much for creating and sharing this wonderful video on TH-cam! I have some INFJ friends and I treasure them and their precious traits very much! It’s these traits (which I think are pretty rare in this world) that make you so unique and irreplaceable! Please keep on being who you are and keep on doing what you think is the right thing! Much love from an INFP. 💖
I'm an INFJ and for my whole life, I thought something was wrong with me. Hearing this has made me almost sob the whole time. Thank you for sharing this, Katie. But I'm on an extreme scale with empathy. I am that person. I am that animal.
I feel you lol, I started tearing up after I took the test and heard the first trait she mentioned. It's like it all makes sense now
So you are an INFJ Empath. I have been like this my whole life too.
So relate to this... you are very angelic, like the rest of us INFJs
exactly i know INFJ shes even similar looking to her
I’ve definitely lost count of the times I’ve been described as “too intense”. I don’t mean to be... 🤷🏻♀️
Same here ! , it's difficult too talk with shallow people , small talk is boring .. at times my mind switching to Stay Focused and yet maintain conversations
My beta thought process , people say I look like a cop having a bad day .
It's ok. The right people will understand you.
@@greeneyedparadox6609 A rare moment when they get it and when it happens they have my attention ...
@@michaeldanao6326 sometimes thats all it takes.
INFJ and everything you said is spot on. Not only can I not lie, I cannot bring myself to be rude to people.
I am pathologically honest, I CANNOT tell a lie either.
Me too. I wish everyone could be honest.
Lies commit you to the future. And that is misery.
You just told one you liar
Anniray You must not have kids. If I don’t lie my kids will have nightmares and Christmas would suck.
And I'll bet you eat meat.
Oh my gosh, this is the best INFJ video I have seen. I totally blank out in groups also and have experienced enormous frustration at myself during my space out episodes. It makes me angry because I feel like people think I am an idiot. This is at its worse when i am stressed/overwhelmed. My thinking goes bye bye and I completely block out what people are saying to me. I was wondering if other INFJ's have trouble with phone conversations. I avoid them and have hurt my friendships bc I hate talking on the phone. When I talk on the phone I do not do anything else, just completely listen, but I am exhausted after 15m so sometimes I avoid picking up. It is just too overwhelming.
When you told the story about Joe, I literally felt the whole thing- especially when you said you ran to the hall to cry after standing up for him😭😭😭
I'm very happy to have seen this post of yours, Katie! I am a 55 yr old infj woman, and you explain my own experiences brilliantly. That honesty is such a hard one! My grandmother lived with me when she had alzheimer's, and she used to ask questions based on absolute delusions - and I could never just go along with them and make up stories, but had to find a middle way, to answer her without upsetting or confusing her, and without telling untruths!!!! And the stare-absorption, the overwhelming empathy, and the jumps in thought process - all so "wierd" to others. My father, too, is an intj, but though i can follow most of his thoughts, he is impatient with my empathy and irrationality, and has called me "strange and unnecessary," which is still devastating. And I loved your point about not being able to think clearly when with other people, which made my early and so-important relationship with an enfj difficult, ultimately..... This need for people, but essential, vital, absolutely critical need for solitude in which to work, is an ongoing and constant issue for me.... Thanks so much for this post. i truly feel less alone today, having listened to you. Warm wishes, Janette Godfrey. P.S. my infp sister hates my chameleon adaptation to other people - the way i unconsciously change who i seem to be, depending on who I am with. Infps have far stronger personal boundaries that they guard with their lives, whereas infjs cannot help but be mirrors and empathise to the extent of behaving in ways that make others comfortable....
I hear you Janette, I hear you!
I don’t mean to speak for your dad or anything and I have a daughter so I can relate. My point is that as an INTJ it is hard to relate in someone else’s pain even if you want to and if it is an inconvenience to the intj person it causes them to seem cold but its more like they just don’t know how to get you to calm down so they just want you to stop already and move on.
Keep em coming. You’re an inspiration
Keep smiling because it's melting hearts out here.
Those eyes can stare all they want. Won't bother me a bit...
I will in fact, be intrigued by it (or them).
I've honestly (as if I can't be) never met an infj female yet in person. It's eerie awesome and enlightening to listen to you! It's just as much fun being the male version 😂
It’s funny, but hearing you express your understanding of you has made me feel deeply seen and known. Thank you, my dude.
Male INFJ gang.
For me, small talk is more of a learned skill than a natural ability.
As an infj I think we see things beyond comprehension. No words can describe our minds.
Ive found as an attempt to explain impressions is difficult to find the right words
talk to more intj's if you think that because Ni can certainly be comprehended. they break their Ni leaps into bite size chunks to trace back how their mind came up with it and verify the truth. Inconveniently they can only manage a single atom bite at a time so they have to build it back up to a pretty high level for the average person to understand, something many sorely struggle with. Have you ever had an intj try to explain something to you and they cant help but explain it with lots of technical information that is basically gibberish to you? It would be really nice if every intj came with a complementary entp to explain what they are trying to say.
@@jeffreyg5303 Are you an intj or infj?
@@mb9807 I semi-strongly believe im an intp. to further expound on what i was saying, it makes sense to me for you to say something like that actually given Infj arnt designed to understand their Ni. the reason from my perspective is they follow it with Fe and then Ti. Fe is not concerned with the origin of a thought, and Ti tertiary is not powerful enough to grasp it even though it is concerned, it focus's instead on what to expect from and when to expect Ni. Te is very concerned with not the origin of the thought but rather reality, and therefore craves closure when it comes to whether or not an insight can be fit onto the world, the problem is it processes data very linearly and mechanically, so it goes bit by bit by bit down to the first principles essentially brute forcing the origin of the thought in the process.
the difference is an author having an inspired idea and writing a book and all the relationships seeming believable, and the theme being coherent but the author didnt follow a formula vs a physicist having an inspired idea and then coming up with the math to prove it.
@@jeffreyg5303 Interesting. I actually agree with everything you just said there. The Ni (particularly infjs) takes different memories and puts it together in a way that that we can put things together and figure things out. I think What makes infjs see things in a way that is difficult to comprehend even for other infjs is how we put those memories or thoughts together in a very abstract way which other Ni users might experience too but I do believe infjs are abstract on a whole other level.
You're so INFJ. ❤ Listening you talk is like hearing my own thoughts, it's just surreal that we have so much in common as INFJs. You're absolutely lovely! 🤗
Just know that when you “read” those other people or take the temperature of a room, it costs you something. As an INFJ and empath, I have learned to prepare myself for such occasions and plan in recovery time as well. It is necessary in order to avoid self-destruction or succumbing to narcissists/sociopaths.
The radical empathy is painful, indeed! My baby sister is also an INFJ and we talk about the difficulties you cover. I feel like there is a perpetual dance between "picking up on something" and figuring out what to do about it, when most people do not feel obligated to DO anything. I simply cannot handle any level of dishonesty - even when the other person is just in denial and not even aware they are lying in small ways to avoid the topic at hand once I start addressing the root issue.
Oh, and I love your reasoning behind why you bought your purse. Lol I am all about the "one" thing!! We want the best TO US, and that's it. (I also just buy and use one type of pen.)
The “one thing” resonated with me so deeply 😂 from pens to one best friend, my car, my lip gloss, composition notebooks.. it’s ridiculous how I just decide this is my thing and that’s it
Hahaha! Me too!!! I’ll just keep buying it over and over until death 😂 Drives my friends crazy, the lack of variety lol
lol, I'm exactly the same way. I like to think that it frees my mind up for more important things :D
Thanks- the bag, purse bit had me laughing. Pockets all the way. I still don’t own a purse or bag and i’m 47. 😂
Have you ever had weird experiences when staring at people's eyes?, I had. Sometimes it feels like the other person's souls gets inside of me, it's almost a physical sensation (I'm male), other times it feels like our souls are hugging in a friendly way. One time it felt like the other person left their heart inside of me. I know it sounds weird, that's why now I try not to look inside their eyes, but to look at their whole face. It can be a very intense experience sometimes. I long to do it though, but it doesn't feel like I should most of the time.
ive had people step back and say "your eyes just lit up", apparently during intense conversation. Also once in court when i got called before the judge and the witness (aka bouncer) "the eyes, its the eyes, i will never forget the eyes"
@@markdejong2456 funny you say this. I have A LOT of people who will stop mid intense conversation that I've known for years and comment on my eye color.
Yesss.. finally found about this. Lol I have felt these experienced twice. 1st one like somekind of waving air or something and also very intense and I just felt I knew this person! Fact : that the 1st time we just met. Totally strangers. Eventhough after that we became friends. 2nd one I felt like I fell into the universe surrounding by many stars. Me and him like dance together and can easily understand each other to. Like our souls connected. Then in a blink of an eye, it dissapeared. I felt like.. what was that. Since then I try not to stare, just (what I called) a light-look to their eyes for the appropriate social relationship.
Yes! No one understands. I hate holding eye contact because i feek that
Been through that a few times
Omg this is so me- the using the bathroom without buying something. I cannot believe I am not the only one! It's the best example of this high moral code! All of your examples are spot on! Thank you so much for your video!
It drives my husband crazy when I do this!
“High Moral Code” ... funny AF - only in your own minds
@@glenholmgren1218 Yea it's impossible to see a female as sweet or innocent these day's since their true colors have been exposed.
or feeling guilty when you leave Costco empty-handed & you want to tell the receipt checker - I didn't buy anything, sorry!
Katie, thank you for sharing so honestly and humbly! Even as an ISFJ (who doesn't have the unique intuitive gifts you do as an INFJ), I just want to keep saying "You're not alone in what you feel!" I can readily identify with your empathy and compassion for others, and I think you have an admirable way of standing in the gap for them! I pray that you continue to heal (you've been through a lot and given so much of yourself) and learn to love and embrace your unique gifts and talents; you don't need to be perfect to have a beautiful heart!
I relate to most of these!! 😭😭 But I can definitely say that there are different types of INFJs since we all grew up differently alongside when we were born.
Example, I’m an INFJ, a Leo, and someone that grew up without emotional support from their family.
My everyday life is very tiring and lonely :/
Hope all you INFJs out there know that you’re not alone ☺️
There definitely are different types of INFJs, I know I can't generalize and say we're all the same! I do want to mention that I, too, had a very painful childhood without much nurturing, acceptance, or emotional support from my family. Most days I am very lonely, drained, and sad. It just so happens that most of the days that I have the motivation to film a video- are days when I feel good. I don't ever want to project the image that I am happy and totally confident. I totally empathize with and relate to your situation, as do so many other INFJs in the comments. It's nice that we can all support each other, even in small ways like in youtube comments :)
Mazy- I’m an INFJ Leo and also had very little childhood emotional nurturing. If it’s any consolation, life has got better & better the older I become. You are not alone xxx
infj leo here, never lacked any emotional support in my childhood that I know off, but never had the feeling needing much either. I think from a very young age I learned to regulate my own emotions. I remember witnessing the power dynamics of my fellow kindergarten 'class' mates, and especially the violent out of control guy most were afraid of (but was popular with the all female teachers) at age 4. I was the only one getting along with him, but I treaded carefully.
I also don't remember ever feeling lonely in my live when I'm alone. It does however happen in company of others, where there is some obligated group activity I don't particulary care for.
Thinking off it, I cannot conceive of anyone being able to nurture me emotionally, when a child or now.
That is so like me always. Connecting things in a conversation that the other person is totally unaware of. thanks . What a relief
yes, it’s happening all the time to me, as well.
Worst part is that you do notice when that happens (when the other person doesn’t get the connection you’re making), which in my case causes me to sometimes be irritated for a split second (thinking: why don’t they get this (again), or: mmh, how can I explain this connection to the other person [which in most cases I can’t cause it comes to my mind so intuitively and abstractly]), losing (the flow of) my train of thought thus making even less sense to them/confusing them further :)
Your empathy for “Joe” that enabled you to notice what was really going on, which then resulted in your own pain and emotional release....for me results in a somewhat similar feeling but more akin to a righteous anger and an overwhelming desire to defend the aggrieved party and give a voice to the unfairness of it. I instantly see red and the injustice compels me to speak or act in much the same way you did. I’ve learned to choose my battles for the most part and keep it to myself as the intensity of my reaction can scare or intimidate people (it’s probably a bit more aggressive than your approach and tinted with that anger) but I try to see it as a gift in those instances where I am justified in righting a wrong or restoring balance. I think it throws off our deeply ingrained sense of harmony to the point that we can’t let it go by. I believe if you pick your moments, just like you did with Joe, it can be a wonderful thing and part of the altruism and advocacy we can offer other human beings and feel like we’re doing something good even in some small way.
I'm an INFJ myself and it's so comforting to see someone else talk, feel and think the same way. It's obvious because you're an INFJ as well but its as if I'm looking into a mirror. Haha I am able to relate to not only what you've said but also the way you've said it, I am able to every emotion, every expression, the slight laugh between sentences, it's so weird but at the same time so comforting. I don't know how to put it. Thank you for this. :)
That thing you mentioned about not being able to work well in groups is so insightful. I always knew I didnt like it but thought I had a "problem". I always wanted to just work alone. I kinda feel liberated now. Thank you so much for sharing.
Stephanie McFarlane at my post grad group I embarrassed myself totally. It was my turn to speak and my voice was shaking so badly and I felt so sad thinking why I couldn’t just be normal and function like everyone else was. I ended up crying CRYING in front of everyone. I couldn’t run out lol I wanted to die. And some people in the group were so mean to me and were so angry and I could feel the contempt sigh. It’s a painful memory.
Being a INFJ I can definitely relate. Remember you're not alone.
I dont' care what my type is anymore, i'm just so happy to find out that i'm not the only one processing life this way. Throughout my whole life, no one really made me feel understood or like didn't make those sharp, hurtful judgments about my feelings/actions. When u mentioned the bag/purse detail, i was like "wow that's so me", also ur example about the time u wanted to use the bathroom... Happened to me plenty of times and my peers or family are just like "why are u like that!".
I think you're a HSP too because that explains a lot.
Love the way u explained this
Hailey K whats an HSP?
@@HighLow_Milo Highly Sensitive Person