Why does Abby have to be a hermit and not do anything remotely fun and essentially PUT HER LIFE ON HOLD AT EIGHT YEARS OLD because Maddy isn't there? Hubby might need some counseling so he can figure out how to live a healthy life without Maddy.
Thank you OP for advocating for your daughter. NTA at all. Keep ensuring your daughter has a great childhood and I hope that the husband gets his head out of the sand
I get where the dad is coming from, simmilar schedule with my stepdaughter, 1000 miles away, and for 6 years we always waited for her to do stuff. Since having my almost 2 year old son, we are learning to balance stuff out so he doesn't miss out on stuff either. It sucks to see your kid miss out and not share memories with them, but you have to live your life. The kids sharing stories about adventurous they had when they were apart (without bragging) is also really good bonding for them and a learning tool for building relationships.
I think OP's husband feels since he's not there in Maddie's life, Maddie is already at a disadvantage. I think if he wants to be that 'fair', all he needs to do is to refrain from participating in either child's events. That way he stays 'neutral'. 🙄
OP's husband is about to have two ex wives and both daughters going to do things with each other and him. He is going to lose Abby if he doesn't change.
OP should have countered with, "Maddie's mom can do stuff with her daughter because she is her mom, then I can do stuff with my daughter because I am her mom. You(the father) are not going, so it is ok. If you only want to make things 'fair' then we will only do big family things with you and Maddie, but for anything else you can just stay at home." Then OP can go out with her daughter to all the things she wants to go to. If he complains about them going to the water park or to a concert she can say that it is a girls only event and not a family event. Having a family conference over the phone or online would help back it up.
If he cared he would’ve followed his kid to start with. Not ok that he keeps his second child from having fun her whole life just because one child is missing for that activity. Mom is the hero not TA the father is TA.
Crazy story. Hubby is an idiot & a terrible father. He is punishing the one that lives with him, as he seems to favor the one who does not. I would die on this hill. OP is NTA she is advocating for her kid. The little one is gonna resent the older one & that resentment will grow. Dad needs to wake up. He has TWO children. I am sure Maddie is having a ball living abroad doing things Abbie will never get to do. Dad is an ass hat.
Our oldest child is from my wife's first marriage I've raised you since you was a year-and-a-half-old. When she was about five her dad quit coming to see her or picking her up. For almost eight years he ignored her until she turned 17. At that point he wanted to spend time with her and take her places. We have two other children we would not keep them from going places and doing things while she's gone to Minnesota or Florida. She gets to go to Disney World she gets to go to the beach she gets to go ice fishing and do all kinds of other stuff that they don't get it do there's no way we would ever prevent the boys from doing stuff they want to do when she's not here and I would not ever presume to tell her she couldn't do things because the boys can't. That is asinine
Dad is definitely the asshole I know firsthand because my parents insisted everything had to be fair and my sister is seven years older than me and now she’s 40 and still thinks everything should be fair. If my kids get some thing for their birthday that’s $100 and she expects the exact same thing for her kid. It’s it’s unrealistic expectations.
I don’t get this. Like the other daughter doesn’t care or at least is happy for their sister to do things. Like yeah I imagine they did care about the Taylor Swift concert but they didn’t seem to blame their sister nor expect them not to go… like I just don’t get it
![เปิดบ้าน นาราเครปกระเทย 1 ไร่ ขายขาดทุนหลัก10ล้าน เอามาใช้หนี้!!! l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0jz84VFWVP4/mqdefault.jpg)
OP’s husband hates his older daughter isn’t near, and trying to make his younger daughter suffer because of it.
Why does Abby have to be a hermit and not do anything remotely fun and essentially PUT HER LIFE ON HOLD AT EIGHT YEARS OLD because Maddy isn't there? Hubby might need some counseling so he can figure out how to live a healthy life without Maddy.
Thank you OP for advocating for your daughter. NTA at all. Keep ensuring your daughter has a great childhood and I hope that the husband gets his head out of the sand
I would quit asking him for permission. Take your daughter to go do stuff and if he doesn’t want to participate, so be it
This husband needs to stop putting this kind of pressure on his youngest daughter… that will create resentment!
I get where the dad is coming from, simmilar schedule with my stepdaughter, 1000 miles away, and for 6 years we always waited for her to do stuff. Since having my almost 2 year old son, we are learning to balance stuff out so he doesn't miss out on stuff either. It sucks to see your kid miss out and not share memories with them, but you have to live your life. The kids sharing stories about adventurous they had when they were apart (without bragging) is also really good bonding for them and a learning tool for building relationships.
I'm glad you see that! You have your priorities together and that's awesome!
Husband needs to open his eyes. Your daughter will resent him in the future. Dig your heels and continue what you’re doing for your child OP👍
So does Maddie not do anything when she's at home?😠
I think OP's husband feels since he's not there in Maddie's life, Maddie is already at a disadvantage. I think if he wants to be that 'fair', all he needs to do is to refrain from participating in either child's events. That way he stays 'neutral'. 🙄
OP's husband is about to have two ex wives and both daughters going to do things with each other and him. He is going to lose Abby if he doesn't change.
OP should have countered with, "Maddie's mom can do stuff with her daughter because she is her mom, then I can do stuff with my daughter because I am her mom. You(the father) are not going, so it is ok. If you only want to make things 'fair' then we will only do big family things with you and Maddie, but for anything else you can just stay at home." Then OP can go out with her daughter to all the things she wants to go to. If he complains about them going to the water park or to a concert she can say that it is a girls only event and not a family event. Having a family conference over the phone or online would help back it up.
If he cared he would’ve followed his kid to start with. Not ok that he keeps his second child from having fun her whole life just because one child is missing for that activity. Mom is the hero not TA the father is TA.
Crazy story. Hubby is an idiot & a terrible father. He is punishing the one that lives with him, as he seems to favor the one who does not. I would die on this hill. OP is NTA she is advocating for her kid. The little one is gonna resent the older one & that resentment will grow. Dad needs to wake up. He has TWO children. I am sure Maddie is having a ball living abroad doing things Abbie will never get to do. Dad is an ass hat.
not only will there be resentment for the father BUT it could breed resentment toward maddie ...this is bonkers "logic"...
Our oldest child is from my wife's first marriage I've raised you since you was a year-and-a-half-old. When she was about five her dad quit coming to see her or picking her up. For almost eight years he ignored her until she turned 17. At that point he wanted to spend time with her and take her places. We have two other children we would not keep them from going places and doing things while she's gone to Minnesota or Florida. She gets to go to Disney World she gets to go to the beach she gets to go ice fishing and do all kinds of other stuff that they don't get it do there's no way we would ever prevent the boys from doing stuff they want to do when she's not here and I would not ever presume to tell her she couldn't do things because the boys can't. That is asinine
Yeah he needs to quit this before the sister resents her older sister.
The half sister seems to be more mature than the dad 😂
Dad is definitely the asshole I know firsthand because my parents insisted everything had to be fair and my sister is seven years older than me and now she’s 40 and still thinks everything should be fair. If my kids get some thing for their birthday that’s $100 and she expects the exact same thing for her kid. It’s it’s unrealistic expectations.
The husband has serious issues! Mom is NTA!
The second you said taylor swift i had to pause the video because of how angry i got about what was about to happen
I don’t get this. Like the other daughter doesn’t care or at least is happy for their sister to do things. Like yeah I imagine they did care about the Taylor Swift concert but they didn’t seem to blame their sister nor expect them not to go… like I just don’t get it
🤎💜