♿️OFFENSIVE WHEELCHAIR JOKE AT KIDS PARTY | STORYTIME
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ม.ค. 2025
- ♿️A FEW YEARS AGO I WAS AT THE BRUNT OF A JOKE, WHICH I FOUND VERY OFFENSIVE AS A WHEELCHAIR USER. I WAS HURT AND UPSET. AS A WHEELCHAIR USERS PEOPLE SAY SOME VERY STUPID THINGS ABOUT MY DISABILITY. PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU SPEEK.
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After suffering my spinal cord injury i have really had to adapt in life. So Im showing you my disability lifestyle to raise disability awareness. As a disabled woman and a woman in a wheelchair who is paralysed, I thought it would be interesting for you to see, and hopefully give you some inspiration and motivation so that you can live more independently. wether you are paraplegic or quadriplegic I hope that I can help you. The wheelsnoheels message is “so no one has to feel alone.”
I have lots of interesting disability videos, a lot of videos on how to cope with a disability and living life in a wheelchair, wether you are a girl boy woman or man. i have some paraplegic exercise videos, and advice. its important to keep your fitness levels up as much as possible as this can when physically and mentally with depression.
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•this video is just how I do it. there may be other ways which for for you. I cannot accept any responsibility for the actions you take after watching this video. You should always speak to a trained certified, medical professional first before undertaking any new activities.
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♿️HAS SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENED TO YOU?
SORRY BUT IM NOT A LAME SHEEP, JOKES CAN BE CRUEL, AND INSENSITIVE. IM ALWAYS UP FOR A LAUGH AND A GOOD TIME, BUT I FOUND THIS ONE PARTICULARLY HURTFUL.
Background: I’m seemingly able bodied but have a service dog.
Story: I was running a couple minutes late to a college class (first day, new building) and the professor has already started class. I quickly go to take my seat when he said “oh no! Hope no one has any drugs on them! The K9 is here!” Making almost all 100 people turn to look at me and make comments about my service dog.
All I could say was “all she’ll do is tell you when you’re about to pass out and hit your head on concrete. Sorry!”
The professor got an awkward look on his face but kept teaching. I sat down and the person I sat down next to apologized for how awkward it was. I just wanted to run to the bathroom and cry.
I was at the cash desk in a local supermarket just before Christmas, (5 months after I had undergone an above knee amputation) and the woman on the till turned to me and said 'Oh you'd be easy to buy for at Christmas! One pair of socks would last you for 2 years!'
I was shocked - my husband said 'What did she just say to you???' I didn't tell him straightaway, because I knew that he would have given the woman a piece of his mind, but he said 'I'm not letting that go' (by which time I was in tears) He complained to a supervisor. Anyway, the woman was given a warning before a disciplinary panel, and the store sent me flowers and a £20 gift card.
It took me a few days to get over the incident - I was very hurt and tearful - I still feel edgy when I go to the supermarket in case I see the woman in there (I do my best to avoid her!0
Luckily I haven’t experienced a situation like this. However, to explain the situation I have been in. I need to mention I am able to go anywhere medical with a taxi (I can’t drive myself). And there was this 1 chauffeur, he was very talkative, as am I. But I always thought of him as quite annoying. Now I do love to make jokes about my disability and wheelchair situation, and my friends are welcome to make them as well, I actually like that kind of (dark) humor. Though this chauffeur always overdid such jokes. First of all, he wasn’t my friend, and second of all, like I said, he really overdid it. Which did annoy me at certain times. I did not say anything about it at that time, I just pretended it was funny. But now that I am even more comfortable in my wheelchair and can’t imagine a life where I would be able to walk.. If this would have happened now, I would have said something about it. But when you are not a 100% comfortable in your wheelchair yet, just not comfortable with the situation.. most people don’t really stand up for themselves. Even though I have really noticed, since I ended up in my wheelchair, I became less shy. Though looking back at it, I would have expected to become even more shy. But I became much more talkative and outgoing. But like you, I am not always up for confrontation. And I wasn’t up for it at that time. But nowadays I certainly would say something about it. With my friends, I don’t care, the jokes can be brutal and I have the most fun with it. But when people are just acquaintances.. it is not the same.
Background. I was 12, I’m 16 now. In a wheelchair because my legs get VERY sore from walking. Story. I was w my family in NYC and we were at the top of the Empire State Building. We were just about to get on the elevator down when some jerk said “why don’t you take the stairs?” He was laughing. We weren’t. There was a police officer there and he reprimanded him. Then the police officer apologized to me. People can be so cruel
the worst part is not when a person says the joke but when everyone in the room starts laughing
Here’s my story of an insensitive joke: Background: I’m seemingly able bodied but have a service dog.
Story: I was running a couple minutes late to a college class (first day, new building) and the professor has already started class. I quickly go to take my seat when he said “oh no! Hope no one has any drugs on them! The K9 is here!” Making almost all 100 people turn to look at me and make comments about my service dog.
All I could say was “all she’ll do is tell you when you’re about to pass out and hit your head on concrete. Sorry!”
The professor got an awkward look on his face but kept teaching. I sat down and the person I sat down next to apologized for how awkward it was.
I just wanted to run to the bathroom and cry. He was a total stranger and knew nothing of why I had a service dog.
Púca Arts : What a JERK! Sorry you had to experience that. You should have reported the POS.
Andy Craddock he didn’t do anything the rest of the semester and there are bigger issues to address. But it definitely hurt.
Owww. Sorry that happened. Its crazy! we all have these stories, and we all have to "put up" with this, when all we want to do is blend in and do our thing. I hope your a peace with it now. x
Wheelsnoheels - Gem Hubbard a lot people say insensitive things all the time. I also have celiac disease and so my girl also detects gluten for me, but that means being super careful.
I’ve been told by a few strangers before that if “they had to live that strict they would just kill themselves”
Or “you’re so lucky to have a service dog” and if I try to explain I only have her because I’m disabled they say “well except that part”
I’ve learned people don’t really think before they speak. And if we let that negativity stay in our lives then we won’t be happy or make progress :)
@@pucamisc I have a lot of food sensitivities, and I've also had a lot of people say they couldn't live like me. I know they don't understand, but it doesn't feel great when people don't think my life is worth living
People can be so cruel, and what’s really sad is when you become disabled you seem to lose a lot of your friends if not all. I have probably lost about 99.9% of my friends
Friends ships are hard. I was disabled since 9, so don't really know what its like to make friends as a teen/adult without a disability. But its something I think I willl always struggle with. I have no problem making friends, and talking to people. But I never actually feel 100% accepted and "part of the group." Its hard to explain. But when I went to the Rollettes, and everyone was in chairs I was like! whoaaa this is what its like!!!
Same here, but gained a few too and those aren't one way streets like with the pre injury fake friends where you're the one that always need to be there for them but when something happens to you they're nowhere to be found, not a text, card or anything
@@Wheelsnoheels When l got the chair or some times bevore, when l couldn't walk on my own any more, l lost a lot of "friends". But the real friends are there, still now, and lzm thankful for this. But one there , who is othereway disabled, can go, but has so many diseases we allways have to take care(no parfum, no deo, no flavor, no mobils/cellphones). She is the only ole who sometimes says to me: You are a burden, this you must know!" Last time l gegan to cry. Then l told her: We all have anything. I can't walk, but with my chair l can all but drive at the moment. Foryou we all must let do so many things. So, if you've got time, think of who a real burden is. We share our lives in moments. I'm integrated. I don't let it make me feel sad or small only because of an idiot's word! She had to swallow and changed the room. So l won; if she wanted to hit me. She's not a real friend in my heard since then. Just around! Be blessed, Gem! You'r great, the whole way you are! I'd like to be where all are inchairs, l think l'd feel great, too!
I know what it's like, I've been disabled all my life (I'm 14) and I've lost all my friends. If you lose your friends, they are not your real friends
@@elizajeal9429 Eliza, did you find new friends? It may needesome time, but you'll find them, or they'll find you! How wonderfuleyou are not everyone can see, sadly! Be blessed!
Omggg, mob mentality and the whole “group laughter” thing is such a terrifying thing to come up against. I remember when I was little (prob like 6th grade?) I hadn’t come out as gay and my dads family is SUPER religious and we always had a lot of family over for these events. One night my Grandmother was making a long joke about a girl in a garden with her dad and asks about these spiders called Daddy Long Legs - TLDR it ends with this child squishing two daddy long leg spiders that dared share a web and says “not in my house!” And EVERYONE starts laughing. I VIVIDLY remember standing there, suddenly feeling like I had a target painted to my back and it was like my fight or flight kicked in and my prey mind was screaming “run, you’re surrounded by people that literally want you dead”. But it was my family. So so so bizarre. I’m glad the world is changing little by little. Helped by lovely ppl like you who talk up and educate and normalize!
Chevie had something similar happen at a funeral (well, an ash dumping. So basically a funeral in the backyard)! The preacher had already gave the eulogy& was giving the final prayer before we dumped the ashes &ofc he gets going about how he hopes that one day all the people that need it find God and used gay people and atheist as an example of the type of people he thinks needs to find god. Now, at this point, I’m 15, atheist, bi, and my father is gay- so I immediately pop my eyes open and start looking around to see if anyone was looking at me. It was exactly how you described- like suddenly I had a target on my back.
PiercedBitxh Aila Yeesh! Terrifying! I’m glad the world is starting to really change. We all just gotta keep going and keep talking and pushing. Change will come. Don’t stop.
I'm so glad "Kevin" redeemed himself. Not many people would have had the introspect to see the error of their ways and then take the time to write a personal note. Many years ago I was brand new to my job and was introduced to one of the engineers who immediately called me an "invalid". This was one of only two times in 20+ years that I took offense to something someone said to me regarding disability. Instead of getting upset, I explained to him that in the US (he was from South Africa), we don't use that term when referring to disabled people. I showed him how the word really means "in-valid", "not valid","less than" etc. Just because the accent is on a different syllable in that word doesn't make it appropriate to use when talking to or about disability. I didn't see him around much after that, and he left the company about a year later, but I hope I taught him something about how to see disabled people.
That was a fantastic approach. I hope he learns the error of his ways. x
Yeah, I am glad that I learned on one of these platforms from a comment just like yours that in English it’s a really inappropriate word, since especially for foreigners, we do not always recognise what it really means/the connotations.
I think you handled explaining it perfectly, since we tend to not think of the actual meaning/composition of such words, but think of it as just a description (like how disability does not have to be a bad word), and we just copy it since the word is just in English as well.
In Dutch the word valide is almost never used and a lot of people will not know what it means, so they learn the words “invalide” and “mindervalide” (minder=less) without realising the origins. In the Dutch language these words tend to have a mostly neutral connotation, it is used for parking, marking accessible entrances, etc. It’s the word that is understood by nearly everyone to refer to people who are either unable to walk, or those who can’t walk long distances, sometimes need some extra help and some small aid (cane or walker) respectively. Then we see the word “invalid” and just assume we can use it the same way, without realising the word “(in)valid” in English actually has its own meaning that is still used. (In Dutch we would use “ongeldig” but in English the word “invalid” is used to refer to an answer that does not satisfy some underlying requirements, or to an invalid license/document/etc) Although because more and more Dutch people speak English and there is more and more awareness, in some circles this is starting to change, but in my community “in/minder-valide” are still widely used, and as I’ve said before, I only heard about this on the internet. And of course from some people in my community who only focus on the word “minder” (less), but are still completely fine with “invalide” and “invaliditeit”
Your explanation should make everyone who isn’t a complete ass immediately realise why we shouldn’t use the word in English, while the explanations I heard before made it clear people didn’t like to be referred to as invalid, which should be enough to get people to stop, but would not make people realise how hurtful it could be, and how to explain to other people why they should not use it when talking with people who speak English (and aren’t Dutch as well), even though it seems so innocent in Dutch, and everyone uses it even when speaking in English.
Awesome vid Gem!!! I’ve had similar experiences. One time I was at a friend’s birthday party ( I was around 7 at the time ), and there was this magician and he needed volunteers for this magic trick. Of course I put my hand up. Then the magician calls me up to the front ( I have a limp due to muscular dystrophy) and he suddenly said. “Let the penguin have a go!” Everyone else starts laughing hysterically. I was just in pure shock. After he performed the magic trick, I’d had enough and persuaded my mum to take me home. Later on my school mates decided to call me a penguin from then all the way to the end of primary school. Very embarrassing and quite rude if you ask me.
Oh my goodness. I have tears in my eyes reading that. That is so cruel. I hope your a peace with it now, You rock. xxx
@@Wheelsnoheels omg Thank you so much for responding to my comment!!! I’m most of the way thru secondary school now so I’ve got a nice group of friends that understand. I’ve never really talked about this experience before but it’s nice to have somewhere to talk about it so thanks 😊.
I’m sorry that your mother didn’t realise calling you penguin was hurtful to you, especially when you wanted to go home right afterwards, which should have been a sign that it made you uncomfortable.
The magician should have known better than to comment on someone’s disability like that as well.
Why isn’t it obvious to people that just like you don’t call a person with a pointy nose “witch” unless you’re absolutely certain they won’t take it the wrong way, you should not call someone names because of their disability, especially since they not only can’t change it , but disability is generally something people don’t like someone emphasising anyway.
OKay that we might have our internal jokes inside the community whis can be kind of dark humor. Like when I was on a camp with Young Rheumatics here in Sweden we joked that "no one likes us, not even we selves" as we all had one or more autoimmune deceases. But that does not make it okay for someone outside to make fun of it, especially if it is someone you just met.
Exactly. It’s one thing for close friends and family to make dark humor jokes/comments. It’s a totally other thing for a complete stranger.
Totally> and the worse part of all, was he didn't even introduce himself to me or anything.!
Agreed, from those in the community and close friends and family it's different and we know where the line is but from someone that you don't even know? Absolutely not tolerated
Yessss! Outside was the word l might had found! Right!
@@Wheelsnoheels He was not and is not worth to let only one sad moment for him! He's rubbish, if he doesn't understand on his own what he did. He didn't notice- so let him behind you, you're0'onder&ul as you are!
omg I have tourettes and the condition is the punchline in so many stupid jokes. people just say it in a joke and people laugh, there laughing at me, my condition feel its only a joke not a real neurological condition or people trying to set off my tics. so been there so many times
epiphanycakes same here, grew up with Cerebral Palsy and was the joke around town quite a lot, fortunately I became so good at hiding it that other than trained medical personell with that specialty could suspect it (that went out the window with a TBI and SCIs)
sshort story: I made friends with a nice woman. she was taking care of the pupils who had to take the bus home from elementary school at noon. When I was early I parked my bus and we talked and got to know each other better and also visited back and forth to our homes. I knew her children, she knew mine. She knew I had multiple sclerosis for a longer time but still was able to work. She was that kind of sporty girl, always on the run. She had to go on a rehab for Rheuma and met a nice guy. The two fell in love and she left her husband for that guy. The day before she left town we wanted to meet to say goog bye, but unfortunately I had my hairdresser's appoinment the same day at noon, so I called her to aask if she'd come later the afternoon ,but she replied: " No, Britta, I want to go on a run with the walking group! It was YOU who was out of the house when I had time to see you!" well, I was broken. She knew I couldn't run or walk well at that time (no matter the driving was not the problem at this time)and I couldn't joyn the group for a run. She knew we weren't able to see each other again for.....hmmm....ever! Cause a few days after she'd left town and her family she sent me a message on my cellphone letting me know she never wanted to have any contact from me anymore, cause I didn't fit in her "fit" and healthy lifestyle.
Gem, I was heartbroken, cause I thought we were friends. Even my coworkers asked what happened cause she wasn't helping with the kids at school anymore. I couldn't tell them, cause I didn't know. That was hard for me to swallow. Second story: another woman, who picked up her two boys from school every noon waited in the busstop area and we also started talking and laughing and getting to know each other and she had multiple sclerosis too, but a mild course. She told me about her illness and I thought she'd be quiet and not tell any other person, so I opened up about my diagnosis. You may know how this story continues? Yes, she talked about me to some other women who know me by seeing me in my bus. And so the rumors started to spread: There is a woman driving a bus having multiple sclerosis. Is she still allowed to do that? mustn't she be in a wheelchair? Well, you know those rumors and stuff is spreading so fast and so I had to stop meeting that woman, cause she hurt my faith into her silence.
She tried to contact me another day and I said tp her not to call me anymore.
Two women with kinda prejudice about MS. As I am a parttime wheelchairuser now I am more careful in what I am telling people.
I am sad that there are no women out there who like me because it's me.MS doesn't define me. I changed, yes, I am not as spontaneous anymore, I am fatigued, I am in much pain, I cannot get into everycafe they want to go, but it's still me! I know how you felt at this birthday party Daisy was invited to! I feel it as if it happened to me!
Tanks for sharing! my best wishes to you and your wonderful family! Britta
I’m in a wheelchair too Gem and have many stories of rude ignorant people but this story broke my heart, I’m sorry you were treated so poorly but you handled it so much better than I would have. I’m only a few years into needing my wheelchair and really struggle still with just how thoughtless people can be. Normies really don’t know how to behave around us and that’s crazy to me in this day and age! You are such an inspiration to me! Thankyou for all your great content and making a difference in the education and raising disability awareness ♥️ You are such a Gem 😝 LoL groan 🤣
Awww thank you for your comment :)
I was sent a comedy video once by someone close to me and they thought it was hilarious. It made me cry my eyes out and I've never spoken to them about my illness and disability since.Other members of my family also thought it was funny too!. Also i had a Facebook friend who once posted a meme of a man standing from a wheelchair to use a cash machine with the word miracle above it and loads of laughing emoji's. It came up on my newsfeed so I told her how offensive it was. She apologized and did take it down but tried to say that as she had tagged a different friend in it e.g. it was meant for them not me that made it ok
That's awful not everyone who uses a wheelchair is paralyzed that's how bad the false information these people know? I have a motorized one due to eds and I have a lot of issues with my right side being very weak and my joints dislocate a lot so I cant stand or walk much
Between me and my friends a joke like that would be normal, BUT we are all friends, they know my situation and why I use a wheelchair and the big thing is we are all horse people and back when I was still able to walk a reasonable amount and handle the horses there was a running gag that I couldn’t present horses to the vet because I was so lame I put the vet off. But that is between very good friends, not the same at all.
One of the most hurtful I have had is from a lady on the bus as I was parking myself in the wheelchair area she said to me ‘I don’t know how YOU PEOPLE do it’ that one hurt. When I was pregnant with my first I was still walking but my disorder effects more than just my mobility and somebody, a practical stranger with no real knowledge of my condition told me that ‘people like you shouldn’t even have kids’ that was 15 years ago, still stings.
I have celiac disease and mast cell activation syndrome which means I have a ton of food restrictions. I was told by a complete stranger who was being super nosey anyways “if I had to live like that I would kill myself”
How am I supposed to take that?
Goodness. Yeah they do still hurt. And they do stick and play on your mind. :(
I had someone say "I feel so sorry for people like you." I was feeling particularly hard that day though and shot back " i have a wonderful life thanks. Save your pity for those that need it. But it really upset me inside and knocked my confidence.
I have MS and use a power wheelchair. I had that same comment when lining up for coffee "I don't know how YOU PEOPLE do it" my response? "We people are just the same as you people, and you people may become us people at any time" left her completely perplexed and the guy next to me in hysterics.
I'm glad he at least apologised and acknowledged afterwards. It was super offensive and at the time would always be a situation where you will have felt hurt and the awkwardness it caused. But situations like this are all too common and so many mad stories occur in most of our lives.
Thank you. Yep its so sad we have to "put up" with stuff like this. :(
@@Wheelsnoheels l don't. I tell them some things so they know after what they did. Always! I qan't be different. I care of everybody, but of me, too!
My husband and I were waiting in a rather long line at a bakery one day when the man in front of us turned around and saw that I was an amputee in a wheelchair. He chuckled and remarked that I was lucky that I got to sit while waiting in line. I replied, “Yes, when I was told that I had to have my leg amputated the first thing that I thought was how lucky I was to be able to sit in lines from now on.” He actually seemed to be offended that I didn’t see the humor in it!
This is what gets me. They say a stupid thing. Then when we stick up for ourselves, they get all offended and act like its our fault. Good on you for confronting it. I never have the bottle :(
I’d like functioning legs. Want to swap?
Dead silence.
Today I had one of my physical therapists make a similar joke, but he has known me for fifteen years, understands my style of humor, and included me in the joke. That’s a big difference.
When you have a disability, who's making the joke about you/your disability and the intention behind it matters greatly. Also, I'm definitely the type of person who has always struggled with confrontation.
Love your videos and I can tell you are a very caring and respectful person as you never said one thing bad about that person other than what they have done wrong and you didnt exaggerate it or miss things out, I think you handled this very well especially since you dont like confrontation, I can relate.
Hi Gem! I absolutely agree with you. It took me many many years to finally stand up for myself. People always tend to joke about anxiety and depression and brush it off or make you feel like it's all made up. Sometimes even though I know my husband tries his best I even have to break my feelings down for him. I know this is kind of a different situation but I think we can apply this to all of us because we have valid feelings. We have a right to the way we feel and people can't tell us how to feel.
I don’t think I could count the number of times those sorts of things have been said to me, or over me. The proverbial “ if you were a horse you would have been shot”, i”if you were in WW2 Germany you would have been.....” and those types of lovely statements that are so pointedly aimed at, those of us that are not deemed perfect, by the playground mums. My son has had to deal with his “un”fair share of the “we know your mum won’t be able to help” jibes as they all happily chose inaccessible venues for every outing/party/show/pantomime/ enter other school event in this. Personally I have found that the parents are often worse than the kids, as the adults think that they can hide their nastiness in see through stories and jokes, with sideways glances and nods, where at least kids are blunt and to the point and that it comes form a place of interest instead of the adult mockery.
I feel you darling I know this feeling it’s sucks when others make fun of you when you are disable 😭
Today I learned that lame does indeed mean something else than just "boring". At first I didn't understand why it was such a big deal until I googled it. English is interesting and I seem to still have a lot to learn.
Messed up guy, that Kevin. Glad to hear he kind of redeemed himself though
Yes, as a non-native speaker there are a lot of things like that that I feel completely oblivious too. I hope I don't offend too many people speaking English x_x
We have a similar word in Dutch, although it’s arguably even worse. The word for mute in Dutch is “stom”
Which is similar to lame, but it is used very often, especially by kids.
It’s a very general way to express your dislike of something and can be translated as for example stupid/lame/boring/obtuse, of which lame is in most context the closest in meaning. It can also lean more towards stupid as well, but then we tend to use the word “dom”. So if someone is stupid you’d use “dom”, but for a stupid mistake, you can use either.
The thing is, even for native speakers, everybody knows the first meaning, but quite a few people don’t know that stom also means mute.
I remember talking about disabilities with friends when I was somewhere between 11-15, and I was proud for knowing the word so I said happily “iemand die wel kan horen maar niet kan praten is stom” (someone who can hear but can’t talk is mute)
Nobody in that group had ever heard of the second meaning, so they got very offended 😅, and then started to scold me and defend mute people. They only believed me when I explained the word was the official term because I was known to have a big vocabulary. They did get an adult to look it up later.
The thing is, since it isn’t even know by most young people, I think we should we choose a new word that is less offensive/hurtful/demeaning for it. The vast majority of sites asking for more inclusive language however, keep getting hanged up on things like gehandicapten (disabled) instead of the better “person with a handicap (disability) or beperking (limitation/restriction/impairment). And don’t even think of the word “stom” which I imagine is way more hurtful. (The first one is way more of a mouthful and means almost the exact same, the second one is technically the correct word, but the other meaning is just constantly used to say you do not like something/someone, and might even reinforce the stereotype of mute people being less intelligent.
There is even an article about inclusive language which seemed to not even realise what the word meant, so people really seem not to know it is the proper term in Dutch😂 Here is the relevant part in Dutch:
En wat te denken van taal die slachtofferschap suggereert als je het hebt over mensen met een beperking? ‘Doofstom’ voor iemand die doof is, ‘dwerg’ voor iemand die klein is, ‘zwakbegaafd’ voor iemand met een verstandelijke beperking en ‘gehandicapte’ over iemand met een beperking of juist ‘normaal’ voor iemand zonder beperking. En zo kunnen we nog even doorgaan.
And what about language that raises the suggestion of being a victim when talking about people with an impairment? “Deafmute” for someone who is deaf, “dwarf” for someone who is small, (hoog-begaafd means gifted, hoog=high, zwak=weak) for someone with a mental impairment and “handicapped” for someone with an impairment or especially “normal” for someone without an impairment. The list goes on.
(For clarity’s sake, all words that the article critiques/praises are translated as literally as possible)
Notice how the artic seems to think “doofstom” is used to look down on deaf people. In reality, this is the only word we have for, and at this moment the only proper term, for someone who is both deaf and mute. Now, I find it hard to believe people systematically use for people who are deaf, instead of deafmute. The problem isn’t that we have a separate word for people who are both deaf and mute, in fact, when using “doofstom” more people will at least realise it’s weird, look it up, and get the dictionary definition. The word “stom” however, is widely used to just mean lame, and arguably is much worse, since some people might look up a weird addition to deaf like deaf mute, but when you call someone mute, people who don’t know what it means will assume you’re just calling someone lame.
Apart from that, the nuance is wrong, calling someone “stom” doesn’t make them sound like a victim, if anything it makes it sound like their at fault for being “lame” or generally “unlikable”, and if anything make everyone around them seem like a victim for having them around.
Which is arguably worse, of course
I mean, don’t be against the logical combination deafmute, be against the word stom, which is a stom (stupid) word for mute
I can completely relate with this story, I was always the butt of jokes. It even hurt coming from my family when my mum called me hop along and metal mickey (first for my braces and after the plates and pins in my femurs. I’m autistic so I find confrontation TERRIFYING. I am so scared to even ask to get my chair past someone in a supermarket. On the storming out thing I used to suddenly roll away and “accidentally “ run over the nasty person’s foot (only in my manual chair of course, I’m not a monster) If you’ve ever seen My Little Pony; friendship is magic I’m like Fluttershy right at the beginning
I don't think you were being too sensitive at all. I think I would've reacted in the same way. The 'joke' felt very eugenic-sy, I really don't see how 'joking' about shooting a disabled person is funny, especially in the kind of context that you're talking about, i.e a kids birthday, where he doesn't even know you... (I don't know if there's any situation where a joke like that would ever be funny, but as you said, maybe if it was among good friends, i.e playing a game like cards against humanity, it would be more bearable.) There's a lot of problematic stuff loaded to that 'joke' about his perception of disabled lives and comparing you to a lame animal is also disgusting. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm disabled myself and still remember someone calling me a waste of the NHS' money as a 'joke'. Words can be so painful sometimes. It is really good that you've put a video up about this, because I think people need to realise that these kinds of comments are not acceptable xx
Thank you for your comment. People can be so cruel. And I'm not so sure "i didn't realise" is a good excuse.
Well done for keeping your cool. I would’ve thrown a fit. Our lives are just as valuable as anyone else’s!
I’m so so sorry you had this experience Gem. Even though you received an apology it doesn’t make up for the total insensitivity of all the people there. Thank you for sharing 🙏
in my history class we were talking about how if we were pilgrims everything would be very different (like from a survival standpoint). and the teacher mentioned that there wouldn’t be adequate healthcare and the entire class just turned and stared at me. one kid piped up “oh well clary would be f*cked then”. i got that same hot feeling and fight or flight response and literally wanted to melt, it was the worst. as an ambulatory wheelchair user i’m used to people questioning me and my situation, but that was some next level embarrassment. i couldn’t go back to that class for a week 😅
Awww thats horrible. Hope your ok now. x
Wheelsnoheels - Gem Hubbard definitely doing much better :) x
Thank you very much for sharing this the world. I think it is important that we all think before speak. I included ;-). This person was really lucky that I wasn't present. I have autism (and I am a wheelchair user myself) and German and have no filters. What comes to my mind blurs out. I would have said something about before thinking, e.g. This is not appropriate! Apologize at once! I step in when somebody is treated badly and even did it at work when I thought somebody was bullied in a team meeting.
Here's my story:
In 12th grade I was working on a biology project with 3 other classmates and an argument broke out about how we should do the designs. One of them was going against the group and wrecked our project up. I decided to confront him about it and he cursed me out and I told him I wasn't going to stand for it anymore. He then said this to me, "What are you going to do, are you going to kick in my knee like yours?" I have some major bone and mobility issues and I wear some heavy duty bracing on my right knee. The reason why it hurt so bad was because this person knew about my health issues in depth and still decided to insult me about my appearance despite knowing my insecurity. This situation actually broke out into a fist fight between this person and someone else in my class.
Not disabled but still have a story like this;
I am a stick, always have been, just a really fast metabolism or so my doctor says. Thus whenever someone meets me and learn that I am not in fact five years younger than I am, they are very surprised and shocked, I've gotten used to this and only take offense when they try to convince me otherwise, but that's not the point of my story. A friend of a friend, who I had known in passing for several years at this point, was obsessed with finding out how much I weighed. He didn't have any right to know that about me so I didn't tell him. Then one day as I was leaving school to go to the bus, some one came behind me and picked me up (least he had the sense to do so from my middle and not touch anywhere inappropriate) clear off the ground by several inches (I was almost 5ft, he was several inches taller than me) I was terrified, I didn't know who it was and he was an athlete so he had a strong grip and was hurting my ribs. I screamed. I clawed his arm. and I kicked him in the shin repeatedly till he put me down. He and others were laughing (though I left a good bruise on his shin and scratches on his arms) at my reaction but I was seething, I told him in my best (and I'm very good at this) you've-crossed-a-line voice "Don't you ever do that again" and went out before I missed my bus. He apologized a week or so later after I glared at him anytime he mentioned how light I was. He did it again a year later on a dare, I was wearing boots with a solid wedge heel and went strait for his knee and elbow went into his rib , he dropped me and then I gave them all a scolding in front of the male teacher who had done nothing during this. He never tried again, though I still see him on occasion in the halls.
Hi Gem, a question. I am fairly new to your TH-cam account. So I don’t know how many story times you have. Like this or other things. But if there are a fair amount, would you be willing to make a playlist of all of them? I always like story times ☺️. And with a playlist it is easy to watch them all. Unfortunately this was a sad one. But I am glad you are now comfortable enough to talk about it!
And now totally off topic, when I was watching some random videos you made, I came across the one with the tip of wearing maternity pants/jeans when you are in a wheelchair. After seeing that video, I decided to give it a try and ordered one. I would have gone to a store, to try it on, but I have been pretty much bed bound since late December, due to different things happening back to back, with hardly any days that I was able to get out of bed. So I decided to order one, and luckily it did fit perfectly! Yesterday was the first time I was able to go outside again since late December. I went to PT and after that to the little (tiny) mall, near my house. And I have to say: Gem, you are a hero! I love you so much for that tip! It really is a lifesaver! I don’t have friends in wheelchairs. But if I get to talk to someone in a wheelchair, or gain a friend who happens to be in a wheelchair, for sure I will pass this tip on!!! It is soooo comfortable! It seemed weird to me at first, even though it made sense. I have only worn it once while I am typing this comment, but I know it has already changed my life for the better!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! 😘
It's good that this was all just a big misunderstanding.
The fact he thought you were someone who had just broken their leg absolutely tracks. I'd never ridicule someone with disabilities or even make jokes about it, but when my own sister broke her arm, I was cracking a lot of jokes at her expense about it because in my family we are always giving each other hell for literally any aspect of our lives, and new material is always fun to play with, but we all knew she was going to recover from that injury and be just fine. Laughing about the shit we go through helps normalize it and removes the stigma from it so it becomes less awkward to deal with.
I can only imagine how bad I would've felt if I made a joke about someone with a permanent disability that they weren't going to recover from. That would've been rough.
But I can't really relate to being on the receiving end. Though I do have some issues, including life threatening ones, i've always just made jokes about them because to me, it's better to laugh about it than worry about it since you can't do anything about it to fix it. But my family have always been really big into humor and jokes and I understand a lot of folks can't deal with that sort of thing and tend to internalize their issues.
I think the only thing we were never able to laugh about was toward the end of my father's cancer. In the early stages, we kind of joked about it a bit and made him laugh. When he was too weak to walk due to the treatments and had to be moved around in a wheelchair, I even bought him some plastic spinning rims for it, like you'd put on a tasteless car which he thought was funny. But after he started having seizures and seeing him shakes and flail around with no control of himself, we couldn't find the humor in it anymore. It was just so horrifying to see that we could no longer find anything even remotely humorous.
Life is pretty cruel sometimes.
So sorry this happened to you. I wish one person would have objected strongly, instead of reacting with herd mentality. People in a crowd can make different decisions than they would individually. IMO, you are better off without these people. True friends are made of better substance.
I discovered your TH-cam channel as I searched for information about wheelchairs. I knew nothing about them. Thank you for describing what to look for when buying a wheelchair, the obstacles a wheelchair user encounters and the skills required for wheelchair use.
Wow. Just wow. That wouldn’t have been funny even if it were from a close friend. I’m glad he did eventually understand what a jerk he’d been. You probably handled that better than I would’ve.
I had osteoporosis from my teenage years and suffered regularly spontanious fractures.
Thats why i often had to use crutches , one time 2 boys unknown to me shouted "run forrest, run!".
Although forrest gump is a positive character, i felt ashamed and fear teenage groups the most when i am outside with a mobility aid.
Good for you for speaking up, Gem. I’m glad Kevin apologized, but it’s too bad the other people didn’t have the courage to step up and get to know you better. It’s their loss!
A bit cocky and arrogant is an understatement, we can make jokes about our disability but not others!
You're much more kind and forgiving than me, I'd probably have yelled at him and wouldnt have accepting the apology, since unless you know someone really well, making those kind of jokes is wrong
I can be aggresively passionate when I need to be, its both a vice and a virtue lmao
I've had to sit through my fair share of insensitive jokes about mental illnesses, even worse from my family members.
No Gemma there is nothing wrong with you. It is NOT funny! It is nice that he apologised and now he has learned a valuable lesson. Xxxx
My brother told me, his disabled sister, he believes in survival of the fittest. 😱 Thanks brother I love you to 😳
Valauthiel wow. 😳😱🚫
I wonder if he would hold onto that belief if he became disabled?
@@rockykoast7065 I wonder that often when people make remakes like these. I would never wish disability on anyone, but sometime I do do want to trade for a week, it think that would be mighty educational for them
@@crazycandi If you feel abused you should seek help. Ask yourself what you will do when your parents are no longer there and perhaps do that now? Reach what help is available to you? You might be surprised. If someone tells you you can't do this or that, ask some other people. People sometimes tell you things because it suits them. My ex mum-in- law ( who was alcoholic) managed to persuade my ex and me we would never get a mortgage... simply wasn't true.
I'm glad he apologized
Would you recommend the back anti fall back wheels on your chair?
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 you go Gem 💎❤️
...I have to tell you, just as you said what he said, it cut to an advert which began with a guy getting slapped. It was fitting-
So sorry that not an adult in the room spoke up, or comfort you afterwards, that's awful. They don't sound like people I'd like to be around.
I hardly know what to say.
In my view, there is no excuse for saying something so terribly insensitive. No matter who he (may have) thought you were.
I would probably have a panic attack if anyone made a joke about my disabilities as I have anxiety.
the first thing that comes to mind is when my girlfriend's stepdad asked her: "have you F#$%*& the cripple yet?" he is a pig.
there was also the time a lady wanted my cane in the middle of a bank. but neither times where these people joking.
Ugh. :S
Yes,I've had a kevin or two in my life.Bigest one tricked me into thinking he was my friend,then rdiculed me for all the internet to see.your story really hit home. i not in a wheelchair like you, but I am disabled and it hurts when people can;t be nice ot use .Just becuase I'm handicapped, doesn;t mean im not Handicapabble of doing things, I guess when you have Autism,and are eafblind and easily tricked/manipualted you end up ith lots of Kevins.
I’m In a wheelchair and it’s fair to say I have a VERY dark sense of humour and when I’m with my friends disability jokes and wheelchair jokes happen (yes they can be dark but I know these people and I think it’s funny and plus they know I’m okay with these kind of jokes if it’s with people I know ) however, what Kevin said is insensitive and just wrong because you are not a lame animal- it’s downgrading and de-humanising you just because you’re in a wheelchair . I don’t think you were being over sensitive and frankly if I was in your position I would have made a right scene ending with the cake being launched in his face. At least he felt bad but still if you don’t know someone you don’t make that kind of joke! People need to be more educated on when it’s okay to say things (I often get stopped on the street by people give me leaflets to join their church and be “saved by Christ” and I get it’s coming from a nice place but it’s just wrong.)
That was Extremely Rude and Disrespectful of Him.
😡 He should of apologized
I have a story about being the butt of a persons joke too that happened about a week ago
Background: I have a traumatic head injury from when I was 7, a door fell on my head and it’s affected my memory and other stuff like my hands and speaking. (I still don’t know if I would be considered disabled or not)
Story: I was in drama class and I was practicing my lines with my group when I had a mind blank moment and forgot how to speak properly.
So I was making noises with my mouth trying to kickstart my mouth into being able to formulate words again, when one of the people in the group called me a caveman and started mocking the noises I was making while I was getting upset because I can’t speak to defend myself while they’re doing this to me
Lori Papong Thank you for the advice, I’m gonna talk to them in the group chat we’re in for drama class, I’ve been stressed out recently for the upcoming performance exam 😬
I would have said "Lame is in your mirror every morning time you look."
Gem you where right to feel that. I would probably have flipped.
( whispers "at 3 min (dramatic effect ) there's a spelling wupsi in your captions") No offence meant!! I did a similar thing in the subtitles I made the other day)
Thanks for letting me know. Ill check that out. x
Gem that was sh*tty of him to make you feel that way and you have every right to feel the way you did.
It's good that he made a heartfelt apology, but what if he had stood at a party and told a terrible anti-semantic joke, then apologized because "I didn't know you were jewish"
No, sorry, you can't apologize because the brunt of the joke was in the room - you should have NEVER told that kind of joke to anyone
To clarify: I meant as a possible response to his comment.
Of of course I'm lame for writing a comment before watching the whole vlog.
My apologies.
My partner, who uses an electric wheelchair, has a lot of jokes about disability. Good ones. Like actually funny stuff. And some not too bad Dad jokes too. And I think humour is a great thing that can be a great coping mechanism to many people. But not if you make fun of someone, call someone "lame" (wtf?) and make someone a butt of a joke. HOW did this person think, for even a second, that it would be a funny joke? WHY did anyone else laugh about it? It just. Wasn't a joke. There are some criteria a joke has to meet for it to be funny and that hit none.
I have been blessed with Cerebral Palsy. I would’ve gone up to that man and gave him a piece of my mind! When someone offends you, they need to be sey straight!
From: Is your cane functional?
To: But you could walk ok just an hour ago?
And : Thats not tourettes you are on drugs lol
Or: epileptic? Nah you don't move around weird (tonic clonic seizures. I have absence and atonic ones)
Any joke at another person's expense is not a good joke. I'm sure I was guilty of the same when I was younger...I suppose I was brought up in racist, jingoistic times. I've matured since. Society generally doesn't seem to have changed for the better. It wasn't until cycling as an 'older person' that I was physically attacked in the UK. I was 'egged' ( someone threw an egg at me from a car - an egg traveling at maybe 30mph hitting you on the back of the neck hurts!). 2 drunken young men tried to steal my bike from me .I've lost count of the number of times someone would scream loudly at me from a passing car. Here in France, gradually becoming more disabled, I politely remontrated with a motorist parked on a pedestrian crossing who refused to move as I was crossing; his reaction? He drove onto the pavement, jumped out and started pushing me around, until I pointed out I was disabled...he stopped then...it didn't stop his wife treating me to every name under the sun and telling me to ' go home'! I don't know what's wrong with people nowadays. More than half a century ago when I was a boy, my grandmother never used to lock her door. Seems to me people had more mutual respect and care..perhaps an after-effect of the second world war that ended a couple of decades earlier..omg! This turned into a slight rant..Suffice to say I can empathize! In general, since I've started using a wheelchair, the vast majority of people have been super kind and helpful ! (Occasionally too helpful, grabbing my wheelchair and pushing me across the road...I now have some idea what it feels like to be kidnapped! :|. )
Great channel!
You were being far from too sensitive! So sorry about this.
"We all laughed because we were uncomfortable and nervous".
Yeah...sure...I dunno, kinda sounds like an excuse to save face to me.
And the "so and so's sister" excuse is BULLSH*T!!!
My story: turned up to a Halloween pre drinks before going out. I didn’t know anyone bar my two flatmates and was on my crutches bc it was too far a walk back from theirs to the club. Guy 1: OMG cool costume! I love the crutches Me: ummm Guy 2: *who id told about me using crutches a little bit before* you idiot she actually needs them!! Guy 1: omg I’m so sorry I thought they were part of your costume Me: I mean if a disabled witch is a costume sure 🤷🏼♀️😩
Cool advice
Jeezzzes, i would have taken that guy out immediately. Also the crowd. This is how hitler felt. i attack immediately. Mostly verbally. For sure make that guy feel small enough that he would leave. My standard saying is that if you live long enough, you will become disabled. Also i challenge folks to spend a week in my so called shoes. I have a spare chair for them to use. Kinda odd that no one takes me up on that challenge. Ps, im involved in disability issues in my city so im rather rough on those that refuse to understand.
Hopefully he learned not to say things like that.
What an arse, I'd also never want to see any of those people again. Saying they laughed as they felt awkward...no you speak out and say that isn't appropriate.
If anyone tried talking about shooting animals I’d speak up and speak out about how cruel that is. No animal deserves to be shot. If animals are to be killed it should be in a humane way and shooting them is in no way humane. I’d tell the person where to stick it.
At least he apologised.
Im in a chair and i see the funny side of it "Dark humour". I don't get upset easy tho. if the joke pointed at me i roll with them. but i do see your point it's kinda rude if you don't know the person.
First of all, even if you weren't sensitive about it, it wasn't even a good joke. And shame on the other people for laughing. I think that guy is just so used to being the life of the party that he didn't realize when he put his foot in his mouth. No you were not being too sensitive. That joke was really immature and something that a school-age kid would say
It’s awful when people pick up on your disabilities and laugh at your disability I live that Kevin apologised. If I was dating a Kevin I’d have pulled him out by the ear a slapped him
My story isn’t about a disability but it is about being different. My son is adopted. He is half African American. Us his adoptive parents are Caucasian. A little girl on his school bus (a Christian school)told him “You don’t look like a Christian!” He was so hurt because his heart is full of the good Lord. Another student who has an adopted sister from Africa stepped up and defended my son. I don’t think my son realizes what her statement fully implicated. As a Mom 💔. The older boy who defended my son told his mom, who told me how upset he was. I don’t want to be ‘that Mom’, I sure wanted to make several phone calls and ruffle feathers!!
Sheesh but some people. I know he apologised and all but by his own admission he didn’t know you or your situation so he should NEVER have said it. Keep it cute or put it on mute. x
We have something in common we are both with a shawn
You, in no way are being too Sensitive!!!!! If that was today, you could report it as a hate crime!!!
It doesn't matter who this guy is.
I got called a mutent the first time I met a woman because I picked my puppy up. My then puppy was going to be and is currently my assistance dog and her dogs feet were the size of my whole dog.
"come away xander from that mutant".. What kind of person says that the first time they meet someone. So I'm a mutant because i have six legs because I picked my dog up.
And she never made it up to me either
The joke wasn’t okay, people laughing wasn’t okay…
…but I think the focus on “it’s about how it makes you feel” is a bit of a problem. That’s how we get people being intolerant to begin with!
I’ve heard too many people saying THEY are uncomfortable about someone else being gay (or disabled, for that matter), therefore THEIR feelings are the important ones. I know that’s not what you meant, but it’s where that sentence so often leads - and you have a varied audience.
In this case it sounds like the issue was that you weren’t being treated as entirely human. You were compared to an animal. It was also clear your disability was the only important thing about you in that moment, and you were serving a purpose to support a joke, which you weren’t in on (like a close friend of his might have been).
Your feelings are important. But I don’t think they’re necessarily the thing that makes the joke bad. It would be kinda bad even if you didn’t mind, because he had no way to know if it would be okay with you or not.
Wow!! That's so wrong! How is that even supposed to be funny!
so you speak out
Hi Charlie Here, Yes I too am in a wheelchair that looks like for life. Yes, I think you were being a bit too sensitive. He was clearly talking about animals. You will mellow with age I am 77 and have to lead a very versatile life and quite athletic. Now I have felt a bit like you as soon as I get out of the second-floor apartment and join the real world again.
I will be going to Jamaica this summer with my maid so your travel tips will help me I am sure.