My husband is 14 years my senior and still can't decide what he's about. It's not the women many a time but the perception that women need to fix the man. Some men and women never find themself, to much self hate. It's not gender but loving self!! The right person will find you. Thank you hon. You're being really real!!!!
Your next topic(s) should be: "What Can We As Black Men Do To Eradicate Police Brutality"? Next: "Why Do We Not Use Condoms Since We Don't Want The Responsibility Of Fatherhood"? Next: "Why Are So Many Of Us Incarcerated"? Next: Why Are So Many Of Us On The Down Low"? Next: "Why Are We So Quick To Kill Each Other"? Next: "Why Are So Many Of Us Unemployed"? Next: Why Do We Have So Many Baby Mother's"?...
Troublechizzy2010 "Why" to answer your question, because of hateful, men you like, who have no integrity and who are just like the women you complain about. Most of these black men now days(boys in grown men bodies) don't even deserve a good women. Most of you have abused black women in the worst ways and then complain about their behavior. Just reading your comment shows that you are hateful and ignorant. Most black women are NOT what you portray...yes there is some who fit those stereotype,, but it is not all us. You seem yo hate black women, I hope your wife is of another nationality or white. I hope I never run into you.
That's a good series of subjects to addressed in the black community not fully talked about in black churches same old rehearsed message (pray sing love and forgive) LOL to serious problems
Hi. I heard what you were trying to convey in your video but I think your choice of words came across very harsh. Wow! To use the word ignorant was just mean. So tell me what makes you an expert/ guru on relationships just because you've been married for 35 years to the same woman with two daughters without having any extra marital affairs. I grew up with both of my parents in the home until they divorced when I was 13 years of age & even thereafter my father still remained very much a part of my life. So where did you get your training on who, how and what to be in a relationship? Where can I purchase some knowledge on this subject matter? Was it supposed to come from my parents or the church? Since you're the marriage/ relationship expert what happened with your daughter's failed marriage ? I'm well aware of why my marriage of 25 years failed. It was just too much work for me & I wasn't willing to put forth the effort to make it go any futher especially to a man that I didn't love and married for all.the wrong reasons. And today I just don't feel I have to help raise another woman's grown ass deadbeat son just to say I have a man/ husband. I don't have everything I desire in life to complete me but I'm not going to settle for the B.S. that comes or has been coming my way. My saying is I told God if these type of men keep coming my way, "I'll just have to sit this one out Lord". I only had one child in which he was like having 5 kids in one with ADHD already and now he's 24. I have absolutely no patience or tolrerance for Bullshit men playing games without their shit together. I'll pass. No thanks. I thought your daughter of all people would have been taught by the best, IN-HOUSE. Lol. I enjoyed the message. Oh & please don't take this personal because I absolutely love my Black MEN but I just expect more from the ones who are not applying themselves to the best of their abilities.
Well like someone said on a comment that the devil has did things to destroy us as blacks from da one during the Adam an eve era ,today he's doin everything to destroy our people's most were the most hated race on this earth an some blak females hates us too, every time a black women tells a black man she don't need a man pushes him away farther an farther away from wanting any black women that's y we finds our love out our race.
Thank you brother! I've learned this lesson the hard way. Thank God there are wise men out there like you helping the sistahs out! Although most ain't trying to hear this but yet their relationships are either jacked up or non-existent. I'm here for it. Teach brother. I'm taking notes.
@@millennial4840 Agreed. And, I have married friends that all they do is talk badly about their husbands behind their backs and to their faces. The reason why is because their husbands hurt their feelings. There has to be a better way to get along. Now birds of a feather flock together. I did the same thing to my exhusband and thought it was cool until he left and never returned. Now I know for sure why he did leave and here to learn how to do things differently to get a better outcome next time my feelings are hurt by the man in my life.
I think he hit some good points; however, it is nothing wrong with being alone, some people should spend some time alone and stopping just being in a relationship just to say they are in one. At this point I am not sure that I want to be married again, it is not hard to get married at all, but it is hard to do what he has done and that is stay married, it takes work and understanding from both sides.
You are correct sista. One of the problems is most sista's are alone by default, yet they are too ashamed to admit it. It's good to spend time with yourself when it's your choice, to re-evaluate ones self. A black woman never has a problem gettin sex, all she has to do is pick and choose. Us black men never have a problem getting into a relationship. There's a great imbalance. I as a young black man could get married tomorrow before any black woman could. Why? Bcuz the majority of black women are desperate to get married. What they don't understand is, they need to properly assess they're mate long before they should rush to to get married. Black women get the wrong kind of attention. Black men get no attention from black women. I can ask a black woman at the age of 30 how many times has she been complimented in her life span. I can guarantee the answer will be numerous. If I asked your average black man at the age of 30 how many times he's received a compliment. He will give me a random number. But when I rephrase the question, how many black women have given you a compliment in your life span. He might be hard pressed to give me answer of 1. Why? Bcuz black women do not let black men know they want and desire them. Black men get zero attention from black women. If women did not get any compliments from any black man, that would mess with her mind, even if she were the most beautiful black woman in all existence. We're all like babies. In order for a baby to know they're loved you have show that baby a lot of time and an abundance of attention. The older we become the less maintenance we need. But the one thing that never changes, is we all still need love, some form or fashion of it. You show love thru touch. We you see your friend, family or mate. You give them a hug, a handshake, or verbal acknowledgement, a smile. Just like a baby, there has to be a healthy balance of that love in our life to keep us happy, without it, we become miserable, the way I see it.
That is how it should be, the problem is most people don't take the time to be happy with themselves and all the blessings and love they have in their lives. They think marriage is "the brass ring". Too much responsibility is put on that person to meet your love and happiness needs. Instead of focusing on loving God and themselves and truly having joy they put too much value into getting another person. When you have the ability to love yourself and treat yourself well you have the foundation to truly love a man if you choose too. Marriage is great, my ex had great qualities which I shared with him but we were not great together, still friends today and he is remarried. It is nice to have companionship but learn to be happy with yourself first and stop looking for the "the brass ring". You will mess around and get it and it will tarnish.
Too true, your closing point shows that your average person is not happy within themselves, therefore they will never be happy with any mate. Happiness comes from within, it can be felt millions of miles away. And is far stronger than any form of hate.
Alex man can by those who don’t care. It’s not by all females. The female that accepts it’s because they’re sleeping around too. You’re not the only male that’s having her.
i notice that no matter what a black man says, his whole point boils down to black women being at fault, absolutely no accountibility on the males part, that is why a lot of black women dont want to be married, who wants to be the butt of blame for everything, or carry the blunt of responsibility in the relationship.
cravingsweets I notice they never, ever get around to mentioning the fact that black men have high divorce rates, no matter who the race of the woman, the outcomes are still the same.
cravingsweets Sounds like "Adam", who blamed Eve for the fall of man. This problem is more universal than simply the black community: the feminist movement. My personal experience tells me that the key to personal relationships, or for that matter to any relationship is honor or integrity. Without it relationships are doomed.
cravingsweets Thanks for your comment. I totally agree. So many Black men are womanizers and play viscous mind games, so any intelligent classy woman keeps it moving. So many Black men simply don't want commitment.
tanya hamilton Black women are blamed for everything that's wrong, then get criticized when they try to control everything. Get criticized for having strong characters, if black women were weaklings there'd be no black people.
Both male and female have issues....that goes without saying...but what he refers to is the woman that spoils a relationship by her attitude and unwillingness to submit in a male/ female polarizing way....women have the ability and right to be strong but some of the negative energy that is embedded in alot of our black females is who is referring to....and the truth that you mention "the failure of black men" does not negate the responsibility of black women
The key thing I heard from you is "Divorce is not an option." That is the mindset that successful people have. That is not the mindset that most people today have, and that is why MOST black people will be unmarried within 10 years. The values of our grandparents have long gone by the wayside. The people who get out of the materialistic mindset and the "what can you do for me" mindset, and adopt the "can you build with me" and "how can I bring value to my significant other", will succeed. The majority, however, will certainly be single in 20 years.
Jay Lawson, do you advocate staying in a loveless marriage just for the sake of saying "I've been married such-and-such years." smh In my opionion, that is not healthy mentally or physically.
superhero22 I agree with you. And no I do not advocate staying in a loveless marriage, I would never do that. I am not married yet in my mid 30s because I do not want to settle and become a statistic. I am not willing to roll the dice like some of my friends and family have done. If I am not sure about wanting to be with my future wife for life, I just will not get married. I think if I were to settle I would fall into the normal statistics.
Thanks bro, I am married and what you said gave me some inspiration not to disparage my wife, she is a wonderful conservative easy-going woman but it made me look at myself so that I don't lose focus. Bless you!! Much appreciated and very mature. Sadly, most of these women are going to "clap-back" because the truth stings those who it applies to.
Its better to be alone and single than with someone and miserable and often still have to do most things alone. Why get married of this is what is going to happen? Why not travel, learn languages, become stellar in your career, explore your talents? Where is this huge selection of choice men? Give me cats, Netflix, and hobbies. I don't even see the point any more. I've been married and all I need is more therapy. These days, a career and money are much more fulfilling and that is sad to say.
You've experienced being with someone before. It's not better to be alone if you've never been with anyone before. You can't speak for everyone. It's better to have space is more like it. Space is very important.
*You do know that some of us are alone because we love being single right? Don't fool yourself...we are by no ways suffering because we are single. LOL...shit we know what side is best for buttering our own bread.*
I can't speak to what will make a relationship work, but based on my personal experience, I can speak to the dysfunction in the black community. With 73% of births in the community being out of wedlock births and many resulting in absent fathers, too many black men and women grow up without a mother and father modeling functional relationship behaviors.
Wow, Brother; Very insightful, introspective and thoughtful. I'd be very interested in Reading some of the Books you've read. I know you have a book list. I'd like to get my hands on it. Value, has more Value than money.
That is true sir. I'm a young black man, with a job and education, a doctorate, and I'm just not the man for black women, i just dont make the grade and Frankly i don't want to
Good video brother. The only suggestion I would make is to cut the preamble short a couple mins. It shouldn't take more than 8:30 to get to the first point.
No the problem is black women need to understand that there are men in these other cultures and countries that will love to marry us. We just have to get out of our bubble and explore. Trust me ladies I married my Chinese husband 4 years ago and it is the best decision I could have ever made in my life. He treats me like a princess and respects me and he is a provider. It's been 4 years and I have never had to open my purse to pay for anything. If I was to pay for something he will feel insulted because that is the culture here in China. Come to China ladies!
Teresita H yes, it is sad how loyal we have been to black men while they refuse to accept us. The even sadder part is that we consistently criticize each other when we should be uplifting one another.
great video. I agree with all. most women know nothing about men bc we never had healthy relationships with the men in our families. everything we learned was thru music, tv and dysfunctional relationships
I have been living with a black woman, who promised to help with the expenses, going on 3 years , she only helped out 3 months with her share,...you do the math. Women in general expect to be supported, not just black. They forget that our parents worked together to raise kids, after kids went off to school say after they were 5 or 6 years old, mom went off to work also .. now even if you have no kids , women still want to be supported $$$$$,, why??. This puts stress on the man and I just cant beleive a woman cares for the man..
Brother I feel your spirit and most definitely appreciate you. However, these broads aren't being married not because of what they don't know what they don't know , trust, they know, they just are bullheaded and refuse to get out of there own way. They also expect men to accept them after they spent their best years whoring around, having other mens babies etc.. In top of all that most have horrible attitudes and dispositions. All this stuff is not complicated. Don't be a s lut, have a great attitude, keep a clean house and body, and have some morals. Do that and chances are you will get wifed up!
Okuhle Osh. Kanti vele why is it that African American men & women are always on each others throats. ( on public platforms nogal) And do we also have the same problem eMzansi abantu basashada na? 😞😞😞
So, I have a question. If black woman are alone...not getting married. What are black men doing/ going?! Are they on the down low? Going to white gyals?!
Good question, black men are drifting. They are lost and just as lonely as black women. They just don't know it or too prideful to admit it. Black men are suffering from a misaligned identity. Many are confused about true manhood and what it entails. Many conflate lust with love, black men do not really know how to love. So all the things you are seeing from black men is simply a childish attempt at searching for significance. Black men today are merely a byproduct of social engineering. Welfare, abortion, birth control, fatherless homes, Poor education. I can say more but I think you get the point. Brother need help, they don't need to be encouraged in their dysfunction. They need to grow up and play there God given position as fathers, husbands and leader in our community rather than blaming whites, Donald Trump etc...
I want a man who owns some tools, owns land, can build a house, owns a truck and has skills so he never worries about unemployment. Do you know any black men like that?
Both men and women need to be raised by their fathers. The black race having a high percentage of fatherless house holds impacts both men and women. So women that had no father or a bad relationship with her father may cause her to form a negative complex toward men.
Know your worth and don't tear others down. Be honest in the beginning of relationships about what your intentions are and be sure there is mutual understanding. If they are not compatible with you, just be up front about that and move on. Also, treat people how you want to be treated. Hold yourself accountable and learn from your mistakes and others. Thank you for your video, sir. God bless!
Thank you for posting this brother. I agree with what you are saying. I am divorced but I have women family and friends who are married some for 20 or more years to some very wonderful Black men. I am back out there looking myself, the difference this time is I know what I am worth and what to look for in a man.
I have to disagree. I’ve been married 12 years and I am a woman. In this day and age ppl cannot use the excuse “I didn’t know” information is now at our fingertips. You will not believe the amount of black women who say “I don’t care what a man wants”. It’s not that they don’t know it’s that they don’t care. I wasn’t taught to be a wife but I learned and became one.
Why are black men powerless and doesn't own any businesses? That probably why they are alone and not married, because black men are powerless. Who wants to have powerless men? Who wants men that worry about black women more than themselves. It's not like black men have their stuff together. Just because y'all can get other races of women doesn't make y'all kings. Kings own their own businesses, have power over all other group of men, have their own communities, care for their families, well educated, kings doesn't take the lives of others, kings have their own where as they dont have to rob others.
Out of EVERY SKIN COLOR....there are women and men that's not married....NOT JUST DARK SKINNED PEOPLE. Guess what? ...THIS MAN ONLY TALKING ABOUT HOW HE IS VIEWING THINGS. EVIDENTLY HE HAS NO CLUE HOW THINGS WORK. LADIES YOU FEEL ME????
I'm not black but from an outside perspective, it seems like black women try to police the black man's preference when it comes to dating and they try to police alot of other things as well. alot of people feel that way
@Novice Learner This is not the first time I've seen you in place for white supremacy and homosexuality. Always got black women on your mind and on the tip of your tongue, yet everyone is supposed to believe you hate someone your obviously obsessed with. Get a life.
Novice Learner I see what your saying man. I was wondering where the fuck all that shit talking came from lol they acted like I was a racist out to get them... come on ladies, your way off
You're not black. So you have no clue. Until you address the gender imbalance (more black men are in prison than any other group and more have criminal records that has affected their earning potential) nothing else you could say holds any weight. And yes. YOU'RE BLACK. With a fake troll account.
Anonymous actually I'm white. criminal records that's a bullshit excuse. I'm a convicted felon and I've been turned down by man places who hires plenty of black men who are convicted felons but no whites whatsoever. bullshit excuse fuckboy try again
Black men are EQUALLY as controlling. You all take a different approach in your tactics. You use psychological and verbal abuse to ruin or confidence so that some us don't pursue who we really prefer.
people take time to know yourself! before getting involved with someone then and only then can someone appreciate you! The old saying to know me is to Love Me! Love is in a relationship it is 100% 100% . The saying 50/50 is BS.
Andrew Ezell you can get to know someone and year's down the line they can change. i never tell someone that because the one who turned bogus is wrong not the other person, i would just give the hurt person my blessings
Hit dogs will holler, this is as authentic as can be and this brother has no incentive to throw salt on the black woman. But no, of course someone will deflect and say oh why you pointing at us. Ya'll don't know how relationships work, it's the truth. You don't understand men....... if you can't listen to this video objectively and understand what this brother is trying to say that says a lot about yourself. It says that you are your biggest obstacle because you listen to respond and have no sense of accountability but I digress.
I love this Topic, about why blk women are alone and not married. To correct my own personal experience 'l've been a married woman and the only thing that ended my marriage because l could not deal with my x husbands alcohol abuse. I LOVED, my x husband there was nothing (WE) would not do for each other. Now that l am a Blk Woman, that fall up under some of the curcumstances HE, is mentioning now. He makes plenty of sense, He's right on many levels Money & Sex, don't move a real MAN, notice HE says if you want boys keep dealing with boys He's right again. I read a statement that blk women are beggers! Not true l would rather be alone than to begg some MAN/BOY that are not worthy of ME, to begin with let's clear that up. Most blk women are STRONG, we deal with much more than a MAN, our children, our parents, life expectations in General. Work, play, and everything else that comes our way. This TOPIC, is very important to ME, because should l Marry again these pointrrs will be valid. Don't get discouraged HE is hitting on some very valuable topics l can and (WE) can learn from HIM, he has been married 35 years HE KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS. (He Is Not Perfect) none are but he has walked the walked, and talkef the talk. I like that He's real not a Hyprocrite, says at this point he has no options, and don't want any. (REAL MAN HERE). Not some Man preacher how to have a woman, and soon as he is behind his wife back he's hollering at the first skirt tale, that falls up under BOY! YES, l know a few. However love the topic. I don't need a few days l understand him already. And being lntelligent in some areas He has already helped ME. So lM loving lt. And enjoyed watching it remember HE'S a real man not a BOY case closed!
I don't disagree with some of the points you have brought up. But there other variable that you are unaware of, because you are a man. Men interact differently with men. And sometimes black men interact with black women differently then they do with other women.
Men interact differently with men because men are not invested in emotions like women are. Men are not women. That’s what women don’t understand. We are primal by nature and have to tone that down around female energy. You don’t want a man to be vulgar talking shit and rough in your energy field. If you do then you are not what men want. Men want females not women who act like men or look like them. We don’t have to be feminine or tone our nature down around men. It has nothing to do with black women. It’s women in general. We can be ourselves in our masculinity around men without being judged for being RAW.
i thought he was going to give a possible logic answer to the topic. no instead he continues the false idea that the reason for the 75% of black women being alone is becuz its something wrong with them over all. no matter what praise or admiration he has for black women this get overshadowed by his instructions of blk wm need to change their approach to men when it comes to addressing the frustration u have with there behavior. of course people shouldn't be disrespectful when giving constructive criticism but to indicate thats a blk women mentality of being rude not only is it stereotypical its not true for the majority of women, there for a blk womens humble approach to men isnt the problem but something else
If your car doesn't start 75% of the time, the problem is the car. Si o no? So if the brother is saying that 75% of Black women are alone, that should prompt anyone to say, " that's a problem.". I'm not endorsing the validity of the former assertion but the fact is marriage rates among BAW are abysmal! There's something to that and brother Arneal spoke on it. You mentioned a word in your thread that so many sisters have a hard time with. INSTRUCTION. The problem that you and so many sisters who have chimed in have with brother Arneal is that you cannot take INSTRUCTIONS. His pod cast simply stated the DOs and DONTs when dealing with a man and all you got out of it was feelings of criticism and rejection. INSTRUCTIONS usually points out the things you're doing wrong so you can correct them. Stop being defensive and start being objective, review the segment and listen to what the brother is saying.
Hmmm let us Black women take a wild guess.. possible Criminal record, no education, bad credit, player, no good job, drug abuser, aspiring rapper with no other skills, possible gay, baby moma drama.. yeah Black women would much rather be single.
Im looking through the comments and all I see is people hating on black women. Im mixed and my mother has been married to my (white) father for 26 years. And my mother is the total opposite of what you guys are talking about. Now I see why my mom married a white man. Everytime I go somewhere a black guy approaches me and says "Wat u mixed wit?" "Ha! Lil mama lemmi git in dem jeans" "Yo mamma white right?" And cant even speak right. lmao. They think because Im a pretty mixed girl that my mother is white. And then they're always trying to put their hands on me! Yuck!!! And then when I slap them because they slap my ass and didn't ask for my permission they call me a bitch!! I think I'll stick with white men from now on. #blackwomenarebeautiful And another thing, if a black man came from a black woman why do they disrespect them so much? I think its ignorance.
No sir, I dress like a lady. And i'm celibate which is also something a lot of black men find intimidating. My mother taught me better. I'm not a Kardashian.
Like I said non-sex is intimidating to you men. If a woman wants to wait until marriage then, with you being a man you should respect that. I'm not going to have sex with a black man, get pregnant, have a baby, and then have that man leave me and say the child isn't his. A real man would respect a woman's virginity or celebacy. I am a very conservative woman who chooses to date only Latino or white men because they respect my virginity. You black men have to understand that the way you treat your women is a huge turn-off. A lot of black women aren't the way you say they are. You are very disrespectful. Now I understand why you men rape women so much, because you think if you take a woman out she has to have sex with you. Ya'll talk about baby mama's, and ya'll are the one's creating them. You take a girl out on a date, she has sex with you, she gets pregnant, and you leave her. This is hard for women. And when they realize what you guys are doing you go and bash them. A white woman told me "You can tell how good a man is by the way he respects his mother" and I'm pretty sure your black. And I can absolutely tell that you HATE black women and you call them bitches. So if their bitches than your mom's a bitch. And that came from a WHITE WOMAN. You men wan't a woman you can push around, use, or fuck and leave. You men are the reason for a lot of broken baby mama's, so once we learn to respect ourselves you men CAN'T STAND IT! lmao
@Rogue Shakur, absolutely the truth. Why do scumbag, filthy, non-English speaking rejects think they are doing a black woman a favor when they slide up to them and think she'd be interested in the likes of them??? They ARE NOT God's gift to any woman.
Rouge, there is something going around about only dating mixed girls who have white moms. That's probably why you were asked that question. A black mom is going to hip you to what is really going on out here. I'm glad you're aware.
I am okay with being single I am following my dreams I love God and myself if I find a good black man great but if not I will be okay because I am happy God is the love of my life. you have to be happy already a man don't bring happiness he add to your already happiness.but I am happy single because I chose to be.
The man has to want commitment and let go of all of the mind games and womanizing--plain and simple. Many Black men simply don't want a real relationship. Men need to understand the basic fundamentals of love more so than Black women. With all due respect, none of what you are saying rings true-- at least not with me. You are not an expert, just someone expressing an opinion. Thanks for your efforts, though.
It's sad that our society has sunk to such a low, this Nation needs healing, people simply don't respect each other opinions anymore period, put the cell phone down,turn the TV off and try and reason with one another for crying out loud
One of the most respected videos on TH-cam on this topic. Need more videos like this one. Instead of degrading the black woman this man seems more like he is trying to teach or educate.
The biggest issue with BW and this is my personal experience I've never met a Black Woman that had a genuine interest in my interest. Everything is and was about them and what I can do to make them happy. Perfectly fine for me to spend and do this and do that. The irony is I really didn't need them to do anything except make an offer to do something, that never happened. Funny thing is after a short while I 86 them and they wanna come back or ask me what's wrong, pathetic ain't it.
Let’s take a moment to be logical. There are many variables to this pathology of why many black men and black women can not form and maintain healthy loving relationships! As a black woman in a long term relationship with a black man, I can tell you it takes two mature selfless secure adults to form a relationship that grows in love. However, if an individual has low self esteem and hates his or herself and/or his or her blackness, than this individual will have issues in developing relationships with other blacks or anyone else for that matter.
I think it's so sad that as black women, we had to be everything since forever. Wet nurses, mammies, house keepers, heads of households as the men were falsely arrested or in the military....even at work...look at our responsibilities...we're mommy there as well. With those responsibities, I feel like unfortunately, something will be neglected. The world wants us to be everything. Maybe I'm wrong, and if I am I apologize.
First of all stop bringing up slavery as an excuse for your behavior black women and take responsibility for your actions I am tired of all your bullshit excuse why you are the way you are .number one your degree don't mean shit your fake hair fake eye lashes and all that plus your nasty attitude don't fly with us black men you are your own worst enemy you show no class and you said your so educated but you have no common sense you should look on the inside of your self not out ward wearing someone else DNA on your head does not change your attitude and you are just trying to cover up that nasty attitude you have no race wants you no other race of women act the way you black women act I see when you black women happen to luck up and get a white man you don't act out with them like you do use. You black women don't take of your bodies looking all sloppy worrying about your fake hair and eye lashes with all these pretty women in the world why just date one race not going to happen
With my ex (1st serious relationship), I was trying to be his best friend but he wasn't really going for that. I'd always be there for him when he needed help. I'd help him find good jobs, cook for him, spruce up his resume, lend him my car, lend him $ when he was in a tight bind. Help him any way I could, even when he'd wronged me. But he didn't value me me or respect me. I didn't act very high value in the end of our relationship & probably looked desperate bcuz I put up w/ things no woman with any decent sense of self-preservation would put up w/. Being with him made me feel like I didn't recognize (or like) who I was becoming. And post-break up, I'm feeling more like me (grounded) but I still don't have a smooth process with meeting/dating men. I haven't done either, period. I don't understand men, never have. And I've known my Dad for my whole life. Guys have mostly always been my friends and not very close bcuz I'm judgemental & preachy & I don't allow many people to get close to me. But I'm always dependable, compassionate and empathetic; so much so that I feel drained bcuz I pour so much into these bonds with little to no return. I've also rarely seen a healthy, happy relationship. And I definitely need to improve my communication, bcuz I'm quick to yell, blame, preach and at times to start cursing. My temper is like the quiet before a raging storm. I'm also extremely stubborn, hell bent on holding to my POV (though I truly enjoy being challenged on my POV). I very seldom shy away from a good argument, being stubborn/headstrong. I got daddy issues from here to the moon, and I don't trust men nowadays to treat me right. Its not that I cant be submissive, but it's that I'm scared of falling back into a pattern of weakness & vulnerability. It breaks you down on so many levels and I can't go through that again. I don't want to be alone or end up alone, but the odds are not in my favor, esp. being a Black woman in this era. So...I said all that to say that I'm open-minded.
Courtney P Most of us have dealt with over investing in empty wells. Please be encouraged. Please invest in a life coach. I have 2. April mason. And Nicole Michele. It will change your life. Shera seven is good for telling us women the truth about what men are thinking and sugar daddies. Choose your lane. Be blessed in this new year.
Psmith, people often hear from their life experiences. I was clear in my answers concerning the insurmountable issues women and men are facing in forming lasting love relationships. I said a woman must first understand before being understood. I said women should try to understand men this understanding would help her to add value to the relationship. Secondly, I mentioned women because women desire lasting relationships more often not because women are wrong somehow. However, my argument is men and women do not know how to form and develope loving relationships, that is a fact they focus too much on their personal happiness. This is a glaring indication of there ignorance of reality. I am not suggesting or implying that their is something inherently wrong with women. I am saying that there is a category of knowledge that has been forgotten. The ignorance of this knowledge has been devastating on both men and women. concerning lifelong bonding. What we are now doing isn't working. Nevertheless psmith I am encouraged by your desire to see our community love one another better. I would like to hear your thoughts on how we could accomplish greater love and appreciation for one another. God bless
This is so true. Again, women not listening. Being combative. He don't know what he is,talking about. No one has all of the answers. But, he has some very valid points. If you get angry with him, and he has been married for 35 years. Well, you will need some cats. So sad, and the combative ones. Years from now. Still single and hard headed. SMH
Sadly so many people are not programmed with the proper instructions and given tools to have healthy relationships. We are programmed with the feminist movement information and it has been to our detriment. Black women IMO have been targeted for this movement and now we are failing in the love category.
Your right many don't have proper instructions when it comes to affairs of the heart. What's important is value, how much value are you worth? Also what's your agenda? What's your end game? There are many more questions we could ask. But if the context for all the above questions asked already isn't informed by the truth then nothing will matter anyway. All of us must be totally transparent. We must recognize that we are the source of all our experiences good or bad. That's liberating because then there is something we can do about the current state of our own love lives. No blame; we must take responsibility for our part in the current state of our love life. We can have what we want we just need to realize that we will need to let somethings go to become the person we will need be in order to attract into our lives the kind of person to give us what we need emotionally.
I hear what your saying, but there is nothing wrong with being alone, and having a man does not necessary make you happy. I'm learning that more and more as time goes on.
Why are their are more black female business owners, bigger collage graduation rates, and employment rates than black men..if we are so dependant on the govt??..your ignorance is not bliss!!
I think this subject has been talked about to death. At this point, are there any black women who care? Black men don't marry and when they do, the stats show that they have the highest divorce rates even in interracial relationships. Facts! Black women just need to worry about their success and really start considering going outside the race. Other men don't know that you're interested.
We don't need to care. Just ask how they would like to be wrapped up for other races to come get them. Would you like some lights to be easily seen at night? We are factually on our own anyway!!!
I think being immature and childish your relationship will be bad. People don't talk over anything and communication is the key. Giving each other space is also needed to keep the relationship fresh. Control and being clingy is not needed.
I always wanted a black woman when I was growing up and before I got married but black women never wanted me. I talk properly so of course I’m trying to act white, I didn’t have money and wasn’t flashy and treated every one with respect so I dated every other race that wanted me and yes the majority was white women. So even when I went into the military I tried to date black women and same thing they never wanted me so after understanding that black women didn’t want me I gave up on them and got married to a white woman, so why is it that black women give me these little slick looks because I have a white wife ? Can you explain that? I’ve tried most of my teenage years and through my 20’s but now it’s a problem , what is that ?
*MaceoPatterson~jasonjlas+AndrewGoosdy+SarahGivens+Ma1nguy+MrsNettafrom1986+AudreyLane+CryptoSkyGreen6+ChrisJOnes+QueenStatus* _Funny, you said WW was your Queens and married a Low valued WW for 20 years. I could see if you were a good man but all you did was chase WW pussy in your office and whine online about BW while doing nothing with your life! You were too trifling to help your White wife with her dog walking business or help your Mother who died of cancer! _*_How are you a catch or any of your BOYS?_*_ Many of your friends were with multiple WW acting like whores and all of you refused education yet it was FREE! From chasing women in other countries to screw and not make any commitments you ended up with nothing!_
The truth is black men just don't want to marry and are expecting white men to marry their women ,when it's white marry white ,Indian marry Indian ,Chinese marry Chinese etc..
We didnt have earthly dads to teach us what to look out for. Black men left the household proudly and still behave like they righteous. Black women in a system that makes money for making fun of black women like they did Jesus. But we still here by The Grace of God. So thank you for speaking advice into black womens lives. Its time! We deserve a brother, dad and even an uncle at this point!
I am a black woman from England and I have met some black women that have class and style. So I cannot say that all black American women are the same. It is just a different generation of people from our parents. Charm school might be the answer, for some women. So keep your head up ladies, because I know that all black women are not the same. However the ones that he is referring to in this video, heed his warning.
Mr. Williams - Good video but I suggest focusing more on the points you are saying....Like, a married man's prospective, the ignorance in regards to having a relationship and being realistic.
This is something used to upset me when I came to America. I used to blame black men as to why they neglect their black women and date other races but I came to realize that the problem is not from one side. I definitely realized that what caused many black men not to have bright future was black women.
My question to you sir, is how did you get married if all black women have these issues? It seems you are implying your wife or married black women are the role models we unmarried black women must evolve into and you will show us the way. I respect your right to have an opinion, what I ask is that you be careful with your commentary. There are many black women who have much to offer and are fine just as they are, but black men are not available to meet them where they are. I challenge you to create a video series for your gender. Share the behaviors you've been successful with to attract and maintain your loving relationship. The black man must take responsibility for his failure to lead, maintain and uphold his family. Historically and factually the black man has been marginalized by society and popular culture but instead of seeking refuge with his equally marginalized and maligned partner the black women he too throws stones her way. Who stands for the black women, who holds her up as the prize? NO one. Not even her man. We fight, pay and deal with your troubled souls but you blame us and bastardize us for protecting ourselves. Gold diggers are made not born. You taught us that money was the measure of your worth in society and you showed us that things (flashy clothes, cars, shoes, prestigious educations, careers or any label of status) are your measures of worth and we follow with that same desires but you call us greedy. Yet you agree it’s the price of admission for White, Latina or Asian women and does right by them because it’s all they know. But the black women must do more with less. To want an educated, progressive, fun, healthy (mentally and physically) adoring partner is asking too much. Black women, you should do be lucky to get anyone to like you. You tell the black women to shut her big mouth, stop popping your butt, stop being bougie or putting on airs, but then you praise our curves and parade us around like sexual objects and prey upon us for financial and baby making gain. Yet you step in place for Becky, Maria or Meh-Lin. Are black women coachable? Yes. We are open to learning, we are loyal, but we are tired. Tired of standing alone. This is the true reason we are single, we are not willing to settle and black men need to do better. See us as the prize, not the consolation. Many black men see black women as less than and that hurts. Black women are valued on the same scale by many black men as corporate America values black people. We have to be twice as good to get half of the offering. To get a progressive successful black man we have to be beyond in all categories, but if we ask the same we get eye rolls and told to do more with less. We are the prize. See black women through this lens first, then create your educational videos. Teach us to trust you-- black man. Teach us to believe you will have our backs-- no matter what-- like we've had yours historically. Guide us with respect and empower us. And we'll lower our protective weapons and receive your loving kindness. Hold us up collectively in spirit and body above all other women as other ethnicities do for their women. Black women are unmarried because of black men.
Well said, Ms. Branch. I certainly can appreciate your candor, as well as your compassion for this very complicated issue. There's enough blame to go around. My real concern is not to blame because that would place me in the position as a victim, nor do I conclude that black women are the authors of black relational genocide. As I stated in the video, relationships, like all areas of life, require knowledge, wisdom, and proper framing, if they are to survive. I have addressed many of your statements concerning the failure of black male leadership and love within the black family dynamic. I agree with you. You are correct when you say many black men have dropped the ball. I do not make any excuses for poor behavior nor do I elevate one race above another. That is why I started this channel. I began my dialog on women because of my respect for the tremendous power of a woman's influence on the black man and her family. Understand Ms. Branch, I do not blame black women for the dysfunction of Black America. All I am trying to do is to give another perspective.
I’m so glad you said this! I think his heart was in the right place but this message was somewhat offensive. The candor made it sound like he was blaming us for the state of our community, which is a much larger issue. I think this is too much of a complicated issue to try to tackle in a brief video. The truth is that high quality men want even higher quality women. Women who are not willing to settle for less are unlikely to be married. I’m divorced and my goal is not necessarily marriage again. It’s to become the best version of myself and share my life with someone who loves me wholeheartedly.
Mommy 100% right if you don't know you might need to know if you don't know and I don't care about knowing then it is what it is you want to learn how to be in a relationship stay married for long time I'll be waiting to hear from you again thumbs up
As a young man, Im 29, I believe its this aspect of COMPARISON alot of women have now. Women have this Group Think aspect going on. "I refuse to settle" thoughts. I dont think they actually understand what they are looking for in a majority. It coming from other women that arent married. And they find a happy place in where other people tell them that this is a good catch, or you should get this. I dont think they are being realistic with themselves. The same rules apply, men are visual, you cant change how men work or think because you dont like it.
Mr. Lagrone I see you have very strong opinions about black women indeed. Therefore, I will not feed into your perceptions. However, I will add by extension that failures black men and women encounter during their relationships. In my view are motivated by ignorance and indulgence by both parties. Lastly, black culture has no coherent family structure that initiates growth, responsibility and development of black people. So until we black men and black women decide that 75% single family birthrate is enough then perhaps we will come to the peace table and broker a more sane approach to relationships. Until that time we will continue to be an inconsequential people. No heart no life no hope.
I don't understand and I like that I came across this video to learn but I thought black women were the ones who marries the most. I don't knew f an woman who are over 30 with kids that is not married. I think you might be talking about the USA. Thanks for posting.
it's not because something is pushed down somebody's throat that they had to be part of it. It's very confusing for us non english speaking european because when we think of black american, especially the women, we think they are very "god fearing" which means this out of wedlock situation hardly exist. I think you should not blame the media but blame the community, if the community reject something, it will eventually fade away. To be honest, in the situation you discribe i'd blame both the men there and the women. Why being with women with multiple kids? on the other hands, ladies, come on, if you once love a man and he left you with a child, then you find another one, and he left you with another child. Stop here and go work on yourself and your future. In this situation finding another is not the solution.
Immensely appreciated your sentiments however, I wondered in this twenty first century despite the professionalism and career oriented individuals women and men wether the acquisition of professionalism, wealth, class elitism, and being aspirational could add values to a committed relationship...Can leopard change its spot... The inherently 21st centuries women. Your statements morally add sentimental values, long-term future base rewards.Many women were not well grounded and their approached to men is a misplaced feminism of " I get what I want; am not lowering my standards..." Standard as oppose to inherently values of building and nurturing a relationship. Thank You
My husband is 14 years my senior and still can't decide what he's about. It's not the women many a time but the perception that women need to fix the man.
Some men and women never find themself, to much self hate. It's not gender but loving self!!
The right person will find you. Thank you hon. You're being really real!!!!
Your next topic(s) should be: "What Can We As Black Men Do To Eradicate Police Brutality"? Next: "Why Do We Not Use Condoms Since We Don't Want The Responsibility Of Fatherhood"? Next: "Why Are So Many Of Us Incarcerated"? Next: Why Are So Many Of Us On The Down Low"? Next: "Why Are We So Quick To Kill Each Other"? Next: "Why Are So Many Of Us Unemployed"? Next: Why Do We Have So Many Baby Mother's"?...
Troublechizzy2010 "Why" to answer your question, because of hateful, men you like, who have no integrity and who are just like the women you complain about. Most of these black men now days(boys in grown men bodies) don't even deserve a good women. Most of you have abused black women in the worst ways and then complain about their behavior. Just reading your comment shows that you are hateful and ignorant. Most black women are NOT what you portray...yes there is some who fit those stereotype,, but it is not all us. You seem yo hate black women, I hope your wife is of another nationality or white. I hope I never run into you.
Lol. Verry good girl
Ceja Angelique the global system of white supremacy, that’s why
That's a good series of subjects to addressed in the black community not fully talked about in black churches same old rehearsed message (pray sing love and forgive) LOL to serious problems
itsdastuff true true
The problem is we don’t have good enough fathers like this gentleman he reminds me of my father
Hi. I heard what you were trying to convey in your video but I think your choice of words came across very harsh. Wow! To use the word ignorant was just mean. So tell me what makes you an expert/ guru on relationships just because you've been married for 35 years to the same woman with two daughters without having any extra marital affairs. I grew up with both of my parents in the home until they divorced when I was 13 years of age & even thereafter my father still remained very much a part of my life. So where did you get your training on who, how and what to be in a relationship? Where can I purchase some knowledge on this subject matter? Was it supposed to come from my parents or the church? Since you're the marriage/ relationship expert what happened with your daughter's failed marriage ? I'm well aware of why my marriage of 25 years failed. It was just too much work for me & I wasn't willing to put forth the effort to make it go any futher especially to a man that I didn't love and married for all.the wrong reasons. And today I just don't feel I have to help raise another woman's grown ass deadbeat son just to say I have a man/ husband. I don't have everything I desire in life to complete me but I'm not going to settle for the B.S. that comes or has been coming my way. My saying is I told God if these type of men keep coming my way, "I'll just have to sit this one out Lord". I only had one child in which he was like having 5 kids in one with ADHD already and now he's 24. I have absolutely no patience or tolrerance for Bullshit men playing games without their shit together. I'll pass. No thanks. I thought your daughter of all people would have been taught by the best, IN-HOUSE. Lol. I enjoyed the message. Oh & please don't take this personal because I absolutely love my Black MEN but I just expect more from the ones who are not applying themselves to the best of their abilities.
D. Robbins-Green Understood; Thank you for your insight. You strike me as a woman of integrity.
Arneal Williams.
Thanks, most men think I'm mean but I just don't have time for foolishness. It's better to be alone than poorly accompanied.
Are you a minister of some type? I apologize if I came off as being somewhat disrespectful but enough is just enough. Thank you.
D. Robbins-Green No apologies necessary. You are truly a good woman. God bless
Well like someone said on a comment that the devil has did things to destroy us as blacks from da one during the Adam an eve era ,today he's doin everything to destroy our people's most were the most hated race on this earth an some blak females hates us too, every time a black women tells a black man she don't need a man pushes him away farther an farther away from wanting any black women that's y we finds our love out our race.
My dad always tell my sisters don't come to me talking about feelings because your feelings is never gonna be facts.
Indeed, feelings are fun but never are they fact. Your father's words were truly wise.
💯
Thank you brother! I've learned this lesson the hard way. Thank God there are wise men out there like you helping the sistahs out! Although most ain't trying to hear this but yet their relationships are either jacked up or non-existent. I'm here for it. Teach brother. I'm taking notes.
This is not true...most of the black women I know are married.
@@millennial4840 Agreed. And, I have married friends that all they do is talk badly about their husbands behind their backs and to their faces. The reason why is because their husbands hurt their feelings. There has to be a better way to get along. Now birds of a feather flock together. I did the same thing to my exhusband and thought it was cool until he left and never returned. Now I know for sure why he did leave and here to learn how to do things differently to get a better outcome next time my feelings are hurt by the man in my life.
New day new female. If I would have gotten married in the 80s or 90s I would be set for life but nowadays we live in a very selfish society.
BigVStudio
If u were married back then, by now u would be either broke, in jail, or dead
mo jo that’s sounds so stupid my parents got
Married in 91 and they are neither 😩
That's why some days I wish I wasn't born in 1984.
Move on. Down-Low and male whores are a health risk for females.
💯💯💯
I think he hit some good points; however, it is nothing wrong with being alone, some people should spend some time alone and stopping just being in a relationship just to say they are in one. At this point I am not sure that I want to be married again, it is not hard to get married at all, but it is hard to do what he has done and that is stay married, it takes work and understanding from both sides.
You are correct sista. One of the problems is most sista's are alone by default, yet they are too ashamed to admit it. It's good to spend time with yourself when it's your choice, to re-evaluate ones self. A black woman never has a problem gettin sex, all she has to do is pick and choose. Us black men never have a problem getting into a relationship. There's a great imbalance. I as a young black man could get married tomorrow before any black woman could. Why? Bcuz the majority of black women are desperate to get married. What they don't understand is, they need to properly assess they're mate long before they should rush to to get married. Black women get the wrong kind of attention. Black men get no attention from black women. I can ask a black woman at the age of 30 how many times has she been complimented in her life span. I can guarantee the answer will be numerous. If I asked your average black man at the age of 30 how many times he's received a compliment. He will give me a random number. But when I rephrase the question, how many black women have given you a compliment in your life span. He might be hard pressed to give me answer of 1. Why? Bcuz black women do not let black men know they want and desire them. Black men get zero attention from black women. If women did not get any compliments from any black man, that would mess with her mind, even if she were the most beautiful black woman in all existence. We're all like babies. In order for a baby to know they're loved you have show that baby a lot of time and an abundance of attention. The older we become the less maintenance we need. But the one thing that never changes, is we all still need love, some form or fashion of it. You show love thru touch. We you see your friend, family or mate. You give them a hug, a handshake, or verbal acknowledgement, a smile. Just like a baby, there has to be a healthy balance of that love in our life to keep us happy, without it, we become miserable, the way I see it.
I'm alone..but not lonely...Been married. I have beautiful children and grandchildren. I am fine. Congrats to you and your wife.
That is how it should be, the problem is most people don't take the time to be happy with themselves and all the blessings and love they have in their lives. They think marriage is "the brass ring". Too much responsibility is put on that person to meet your love and happiness needs. Instead of focusing on loving God and themselves and truly having joy they put too much value into getting another person. When you have the ability to love yourself and treat yourself well you have the foundation to truly love a man if you choose too. Marriage is great, my ex had great qualities which I shared with him but we were not great together, still friends today and he is remarried. It is nice to have companionship but learn to be happy with yourself first and stop looking for the "the brass ring". You will mess around and get it and it will tarnish.
Too true, your closing point shows that your average person is not happy within themselves, therefore they will never be happy with any mate. Happiness comes from within, it can be felt millions of miles away. And is far stronger than any form of hate.
Donna's Journey found the perfect companion. both of us HAPPY to retain being SINGLE. Somebody for everybody, WHO?
Some women just don't have the personality to maintain relationships period.
MGTOW Bro most males whore around and think they’re suppose to be accepted. Not anymore. Those days are goners.
Yeah. I know a few off the top of my head that are very attractive but can’t keep a man and NEVER in a relationship
Alex man can by those who don’t care. It’s not by all females. The female that accepts it’s because they’re sleeping around too. You’re not the only male that’s having her.
Zay Time many don’t have to be in a relationship. It’s their choice.
Spot on my brother!!! Keep these videos rolling!
i notice that no matter what a black man says, his whole point boils down to black women being at fault, absolutely no accountibility on the males part, that is why a lot of black women dont want to be married, who wants to be the butt of blame for everything, or carry the blunt of responsibility in the relationship.
cravingsweets I notice they never, ever get around to mentioning the fact that black men have high divorce rates, no matter who the race of the woman, the outcomes are still the same.
cravingsweets Sounds like "Adam", who blamed Eve for the fall of man. This problem is more universal than simply the black community: the feminist movement. My personal experience tells me that the key to personal relationships, or for that matter to any relationship is honor or integrity. Without it relationships are doomed.
cravingsweets Thanks for your comment. I totally agree. So many Black men are womanizers and play viscous mind games, so any intelligent classy woman keeps it moving. So many Black men simply don't want commitment.
tanya hamilton
Black women are blamed for everything that's wrong, then get criticized when they try to control everything. Get criticized for having strong characters, if black women were weaklings there'd be no black people.
Both male and female have issues....that goes without saying...but what he refers to is the woman that spoils a relationship by her attitude and unwillingness to submit in a male/ female polarizing way....women have the ability and right to be strong but some of the negative energy that is embedded in alot of our black females is who is referring to....and the truth that you mention "the failure of black men" does not negate the responsibility of black women
Black Women could get married real quick if they chose other options ;)
The key thing I heard from you is "Divorce is not an option." That is the mindset that successful people have. That is not the mindset that most people today have, and that is why MOST black people will be unmarried within 10 years. The values of our grandparents have long gone by the wayside. The people who get out of the materialistic mindset and the "what can you do for me" mindset, and adopt the "can you build with me" and "how can I bring value to my significant other", will succeed. The majority, however, will certainly be single in 20 years.
Jay Lawson So true. 👍
Jay Lawson, do you advocate staying in a loveless marriage just for the sake of saying "I've been married such-and-such years." smh In my opionion, that is not healthy mentally or physically.
superhero22 I agree with you. And no I do not advocate staying in a loveless marriage, I would never do that. I am not married yet in my mid 30s because I do not want to settle and become a statistic. I am not willing to roll the dice like some of my friends and family have done. If I am not sure about wanting to be with my future wife for life, I just will not get married. I think if I were to settle I would fall into the normal statistics.
Thanks bro, I am married and what you said gave me some inspiration not to disparage my wife, she is a wonderful conservative easy-going woman but it made me look at myself so that I don't lose focus. Bless you!! Much appreciated and very mature. Sadly, most of these women are going to "clap-back" because the truth stings those who it applies to.
I really appreciated your commentary my brother, keep dropping the jewels. Black women god made you and I for you and I. LISTEN!!
Its better to be alone and single than with someone and miserable and often still have to do most things alone. Why get married of this is what is going to happen? Why not travel, learn languages, become stellar in your career, explore your talents? Where is this huge selection of choice men? Give me cats, Netflix, and hobbies. I don't even see the point any more. I've been married and all I need is more therapy. These days, a career and money are much more fulfilling and that is sad to say.
Sharen Robinson True, all you have said sounds very sad.
You've experienced being with someone before. It's not better to be alone if you've never been with anyone before. You can't speak for everyone. It's better to have space is more like it. Space is very important.
Being with somebody you hate and being single and never having been with anyone before, those 2 probably might drive a person insane lol
.
Facts! Some days I feel this way.
*You do know that some of us are alone because we love being single right? Don't fool yourself...we are by no ways suffering because we are single. LOL...shit we know what side is best for buttering our own bread.*
I can't speak to what will make a relationship work, but based on my personal experience, I can speak to the dysfunction in the black community. With 73% of births in the community being out of wedlock births and many resulting in absent fathers, too many black men and women grow up without a mother and father modeling functional relationship behaviors.
Wow, Brother; Very insightful, introspective and thoughtful. I'd be very interested in Reading some of the Books you've read. I know you have a book list. I'd like to get my hands on it. Value, has more Value than money.
That is true sir. I'm a young black man, with a job and education, a doctorate, and I'm just not the man for black women, i just dont make the grade and Frankly i don't want to
Good video brother. The only suggestion I would make is to cut the preamble short a couple mins. It shouldn't take more than 8:30 to get to the first point.
Panky614 Excellent my Brother I received that observation. Really, I appreciate you, thanks I will be a little less wordy going forward.
I'm so thankful that you are doing these kinds of commentaries. Please shed the light! Thank You!
@13:57 PREACH!
No the problem is black women need to understand that there are men in these other cultures and countries that will love to marry us. We just have to get out of our bubble and explore. Trust me ladies I married my Chinese husband 4 years ago and it is the best decision I could have ever made in my life. He treats me like a princess and respects me and he is a provider. It's been 4 years and I have never had to open my purse to pay for anything. If I was to pay for something he will feel insulted because that is the culture here in China. Come to China ladies!
Teresita H yes, it is sad how loyal we have been to black men while they refuse to accept us. The even sadder part is that we consistently criticize each other when we should be uplifting one another.
what happens if he goes broke you move on to the next simp
great video. I agree with all. most women know nothing about men bc we never had healthy relationships with the men in our families. everything we learned was thru music, tv and dysfunctional relationships
awesome my brother my parents have been married 35 years! This is true wisdom!
Thank you for your service, Arneal.
I have been living with a black woman, who promised to help with the expenses, going on 3 years , she only helped out 3 months with her share,...you do the math. Women in general expect to be supported, not just black. They forget that our parents worked together to raise kids, after kids went off to school say after they were 5 or 6 years old, mom went off to work also
.. now even if you have no kids , women still want to be supported $$$$$,, why??. This puts stress on the man and I just cant beleive a woman cares for the man..
ReCycle Spinning good point I have to agree. Seen it happen too many times
Brother I feel your spirit and most definitely appreciate you. However, these broads aren't being married not because of what they don't know what they don't know , trust, they know, they just are bullheaded and refuse to get out of there own way.
They also expect men to accept them after they spent their best years whoring around, having other mens babies etc.. In top of all that most have horrible attitudes and dispositions.
All this stuff is not complicated. Don't be a s lut, have a great attitude, keep a clean house and body, and have some morals. Do that and chances are you will get wifed up!
Wise words Bantu.
Bantu Odowa
But the men should hoe around and have as many multiple baby mamas as they'd like and still be marriage material?? 😪
Bantu Odowa Understood my Brother I get that many of our ladies have been brain washed.
Bantu Odowa real talk
Okuhle Osh. Kanti vele why is it that African American men & women are always on each others throats. ( on public platforms nogal) And do we also have the same problem eMzansi abantu basashada na? 😞😞😞
This man speaks truth and most people today can't handle the truth
So, I have a question. If black woman are alone...not getting married. What are black men doing/ going?! Are they on the down low? Going to white gyals?!
Good question, black men are drifting. They are lost and just as lonely as black women. They just don't know it or too prideful to admit it. Black men are suffering from a misaligned identity. Many are confused about true manhood and what it entails. Many conflate lust with love, black men do not really know how to love. So all the things you are seeing from black men is simply a childish attempt at searching for significance. Black men today are merely a byproduct of social engineering. Welfare, abortion, birth control, fatherless homes, Poor education. I can say more but I think you get the point. Brother need help, they don't need to be encouraged in their dysfunction. They need to grow up and play there God given position as fathers, husbands and leader in our community rather than blaming whites, Donald Trump etc...
I want a man who owns some tools, owns land, can build a house, owns a truck and has skills so he never worries about unemployment. Do you know any black men like that?
Eva Abdullahi HELL FUCKIN NO. 🤔🤣 never gona happen
Exactly!!
Chile 😂
Both men and women need to be raised by their fathers. The black race having a high percentage of fatherless house holds impacts both men and women. So women that had no father or a bad relationship with her father may cause her to form a negative complex toward men.
Know your worth and don't tear others down. Be honest in the beginning of relationships about what your intentions are and be sure there is mutual understanding. If they are not compatible with you, just be up front about that and move on. Also, treat people how you want to be treated. Hold yourself accountable and learn from your mistakes and others.
Thank you for your video, sir. God bless!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
Thank you for posting this brother. I agree with what you are saying. I am divorced but I have women family and friends who are married some for 20 or more years to some very wonderful Black men. I am back out there looking myself, the difference this time is I know what I am worth and what to look for in a man.
I have to disagree. I’ve been married 12 years and I am a woman. In this day and age ppl cannot use the excuse “I didn’t know” information is now at our fingertips. You will not believe the amount of black women who say “I don’t care what a man wants”. It’s not that they don’t know it’s that they don’t care. I wasn’t taught to be a wife but I learned and became one.
Why are black men powerless and doesn't own any businesses? That probably why they are alone and not married, because black men are powerless. Who wants to have powerless men? Who wants men that worry about black women more than themselves. It's not like black men have their stuff together. Just because y'all can get other races of women doesn't make y'all kings. Kings own their own businesses, have power over all other group of men, have their own communities, care for their families, well educated, kings doesn't take the lives of others, kings have their own where as they dont have to rob others.
Kimberly Dill, you’re ignorant. Hit dogs will holler though.
I bet your single and broke.........
Out of EVERY SKIN COLOR....there are women and men that's not married....NOT JUST DARK SKINNED PEOPLE. Guess what? ...THIS MAN ONLY TALKING ABOUT HOW HE IS VIEWING THINGS. EVIDENTLY HE HAS NO CLUE HOW THINGS WORK. LADIES YOU FEEL ME????
Tell us how things work. I'd love to hear what you've got.
Just discovered your Channel!! Love the content so far!
Thks
Thks
I dig listening to your theories brother
I'm not black but from an outside perspective, it seems like black women try to police the black man's preference when it comes to dating and they try to police alot of other things as well. alot of people feel that way
@Novice Learner This is not the first time I've seen you in place for white supremacy and homosexuality. Always got black women on your mind and on the tip of your tongue, yet everyone is supposed to believe you hate someone your obviously obsessed with. Get a life.
Novice Learner I see what your saying man. I was wondering where the fuck all that shit talking came from lol they acted like I was a racist out to get them... come on ladies, your way off
You're not black. So you have no clue. Until you address the gender imbalance (more black men are in prison than any other group and more have criminal records that has affected their earning potential) nothing else you could say holds any weight. And yes. YOU'RE BLACK. With a fake troll account.
Anonymous actually I'm white. criminal records that's a bullshit excuse. I'm a convicted felon and I've been turned down by man places who hires plenty of black men who are convicted felons but no whites whatsoever. bullshit excuse fuckboy try again
Black men are EQUALLY as controlling. You all take a different approach in your tactics. You use psychological and verbal abuse to ruin or confidence so that some us don't pursue who we really prefer.
Good for the community brother, the message resonates
people take time to know yourself! before getting involved with someone then and only then can someone appreciate you! The old saying to know me is to Love Me! Love is in a relationship it is 100% 100% . The saying 50/50 is BS.
Andrew Ezell you can get to know someone and year's down the line they can change. i never tell someone that because the one who turned bogus is wrong not the other person, i would just give the hurt person my blessings
Hit dogs will holler, this is as authentic as can be and this brother has no incentive to throw salt on the black woman. But no, of course someone will deflect and say oh why you pointing at us. Ya'll don't know how relationships work, it's the truth. You don't understand men....... if you can't listen to this video objectively and understand what this brother is trying to say that says a lot about yourself. It says that you are your biggest obstacle because you listen to respond and have no sense of accountability but I digress.
Yep
I love this Topic, about why blk women are alone and not married. To correct my own personal experience 'l've been a married woman and the only thing that ended my marriage because l could not deal with my x husbands alcohol abuse. I LOVED, my x husband there was nothing (WE) would not do for each other. Now that l am a Blk Woman, that fall up under some of the curcumstances HE, is mentioning now. He makes plenty of sense, He's right on many levels Money & Sex, don't move a real MAN, notice HE says if you want boys keep dealing with boys He's right again. I read a statement that blk women are beggers! Not true l would rather be alone than to begg some MAN/BOY that are not worthy of ME, to begin with let's clear that up. Most blk women are STRONG, we deal with much more than a MAN, our children, our parents, life expectations in General. Work, play, and everything else that comes our way. This TOPIC, is very important to ME, because should l Marry again these pointrrs will be valid. Don't get discouraged HE is hitting on some very valuable topics l can and (WE) can learn from HIM, he has been married 35 years HE KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS. (He Is Not Perfect) none are but he has walked the walked, and talkef the talk. I like that He's real not a Hyprocrite, says at this point he has no options, and don't want any. (REAL MAN HERE). Not some Man preacher how to have a woman, and soon as he is behind his wife back he's hollering at the first skirt tale, that falls up under BOY! YES, l know a few. However love the topic. I don't need a few days l understand him already. And being lntelligent in some areas He has already helped ME. So lM loving lt. And enjoyed watching it remember HE'S a real man not a BOY case closed!
I don't disagree with some of the points you have brought up. But there other variable that you are unaware of, because you are a man. Men interact differently with men. And sometimes black men interact with black women differently then they do with other women.
Men interact differently with men because men are not invested in emotions like women are. Men are not women. That’s what women don’t understand. We are primal by nature and have to tone that down around female energy. You don’t want a man to be vulgar talking shit and rough in your energy field. If you do then you are not what men want. Men want females not women who act like men or look like them. We don’t have to be feminine or tone our nature down around men. It has nothing to do with black women. It’s women in general. We can be ourselves in our masculinity around men without being judged for being RAW.
Very valid points, but unfortunately, the only truth that most people want to hear, is the truth that THEY want to hear.
AMEN!!!! You said a mouth full. I see as the kids would say you keep it one hundred, LOL God bless
i thought he was going to give a possible logic answer to the topic. no instead he continues the false idea that the reason for the 75% of black women being alone is becuz its something wrong with them over all. no matter what praise or admiration he has for black women this get overshadowed by his instructions of blk wm need to change their approach to men when it comes to addressing the frustration u have with there behavior. of course people shouldn't be disrespectful when giving constructive criticism but to indicate thats a blk women mentality of being rude not only is it stereotypical its not true for the majority of women, there for a blk womens humble approach to men isnt the problem but something else
If your car doesn't start 75% of the time, the problem is the car. Si o no? So if the brother is saying that 75% of Black women are alone, that should prompt anyone to say, " that's a problem.". I'm not endorsing the validity of the former assertion but the fact is marriage rates among BAW are abysmal! There's something to that and brother Arneal spoke on it.
You mentioned a word in your thread that so many sisters have a hard time with. INSTRUCTION.
The problem that you and so many sisters who have chimed in have with brother Arneal is that you cannot take INSTRUCTIONS. His pod cast simply stated the DOs and DONTs when dealing with a man and all you got out of it was feelings of criticism and rejection. INSTRUCTIONS usually points out the things you're doing wrong so you can correct them. Stop being defensive and start being objective, review the segment and listen to what the brother is saying.
Hmmm let us Black women take a wild guess.. possible Criminal record, no education, bad credit, player, no good job, drug abuser, aspiring rapper with no other skills, possible gay, baby moma drama.. yeah Black women would much rather be single.
Black women: Properly vet the men you associate with. Problem solved.
Im looking through the comments and all I see is people hating on black women. Im mixed and my mother has been married to my (white) father for 26 years. And my mother is the total opposite of what you guys are talking about. Now I see why my mom married a white man. Everytime I go somewhere a black guy approaches me and says "Wat u mixed wit?" "Ha! Lil mama lemmi git in dem jeans" "Yo mamma white right?" And cant even speak right. lmao. They think because Im a pretty mixed girl that my mother is white. And then they're always trying to put their hands on me! Yuck!!! And then when I slap them because they slap my ass and didn't ask for my permission they call me a bitch!! I think I'll stick with white men from now on. #blackwomenarebeautiful And another thing, if a black man came from a black woman why do they disrespect them so much? I think its ignorance.
No sir, I dress like a lady. And i'm celibate which is also something a lot of black men find intimidating. My mother taught me better. I'm not a Kardashian.
Like I said non-sex is intimidating to you men. If a woman wants to wait until marriage then, with you being a man you should respect that. I'm not going to have sex with a black man, get pregnant, have a baby, and then have that man leave me and say the child isn't his. A real man would respect a woman's virginity or celebacy. I am a very conservative woman who chooses to date only Latino or white men because they respect my virginity. You black men have to understand that the way you treat your women is a huge turn-off. A lot of black women aren't the way you say they are. You are very disrespectful. Now I understand why you men rape women so much, because you think if you take a woman out she has to have sex with you. Ya'll talk about baby mama's, and ya'll are the one's creating them. You take a girl out on a date, she has sex with you, she gets pregnant, and you leave her. This is hard for women. And when they realize what you guys are doing you go and bash them. A white woman told me "You can tell how good a man is by the way he respects his mother" and I'm pretty sure your black. And I can absolutely tell that you HATE black women and you call them bitches. So if their bitches than your mom's a bitch. And that came from a WHITE WOMAN. You men wan't a woman you can push around, use, or fuck and leave. You men are the reason for a lot of broken baby mama's, so once we learn to respect ourselves you men CAN'T STAND IT! lmao
@Rogue Shakur, absolutely the truth. Why do scumbag, filthy, non-English speaking rejects think they are doing a black woman a favor when they slide up to them and think she'd be interested in the likes of them??? They ARE NOT God's gift to any woman.
Rouge, there is something going around about only dating mixed girls who have white moms. That's probably why you were asked that question. A black mom is going to hip you to what is really going on out here. I'm glad you're aware.
I am okay with being single I am following my dreams I love God and myself if I find a good black man great but if not I will be okay because I am happy God is the love of my life. you have to be happy already a man don't bring happiness he add to your already happiness.but I am happy single because I chose to be.
Considering the garbage options of men that are out there. Better to be alone tha' to settle. It's all about integrity
All valid points, well said. The current state of affairs has more black females than males though, let's not forget that.
Maybe he is along because he haven't found the right color woman yet....!!!!! 😢😅
The man has to want commitment and let go of all of the mind games and womanizing--plain and simple. Many Black men simply don't want a real relationship. Men need to understand the basic fundamentals of love more so than Black women. With all due respect, none of what you are saying rings true-- at least not with me. You are not an expert, just someone expressing an opinion. Thanks for your efforts, though.
Man shut up with that ignorant comment
Moe Williams the truth hurts.
The Godzilla males are sleeping with female thugs. Remember, there’s male whores.
@mia Agreed.
Marriage is not a flex!
I'm a happily married Sistah...Thank You for your encouraging words
Can we please see that amazing wife you always talk about? Thank you
It's sad that our society has sunk to such a low, this Nation needs healing, people simply don't respect each other opinions anymore period, put the cell phone down,turn the TV off and try and reason with one another for crying out loud
nathan mccloud Amen my Brother
One of the most respected videos on TH-cam on this topic. Need more videos like this one. Instead of degrading the black woman this man seems more like he is trying to teach or educate.
It's natural for people to want love and companionship! If people say differently, their view of life is warped.
Has it ever daunted on anybody that many black women dont care to be married and are completely content with being single and unbothered?
The biggest issue with BW and this is my personal experience I've never met a Black Woman that had a genuine interest in my interest. Everything is and was about them and what I can do to make them happy. Perfectly fine for me to spend and do this and do that. The irony is I really didn't need them to do anything except make an offer to do something, that never happened. Funny thing is after a short while I 86 them and they wanna come back or ask me what's wrong, pathetic ain't it.
Love that" 86"
Seems like you need to choose better if all the women you dated was the same way
Because it's always about them, never you, save yourself!
Let’s take a moment to be logical. There are many variables to this pathology of why many black men and black women can not form and maintain healthy loving relationships! As a black woman in a long term relationship with a black man, I can tell you it takes two mature selfless secure adults to form a relationship that grows in love. However, if an individual has low self esteem and hates his or herself and/or his or her blackness, than this individual will have issues in developing relationships with other blacks or anyone else for that matter.
I think it's so sad that as black women, we had to be everything since forever. Wet nurses, mammies, house keepers, heads of households as the men were falsely arrested or in the military....even at work...look at our responsibilities...we're mommy there as well. With those responsibities, I feel like unfortunately, something will be neglected. The world wants us to be everything. Maybe I'm wrong, and if I am I apologize.
These days most of the men who get arrested deserve it
Mostly men in this day and age don't deserve being locked up, they are products of a colonized system a white who created poverty and crime for them.
Finally someone makes sense of it all in a non-demeaning manner. Very good information.
First of all stop bringing up slavery as an excuse for your behavior black women and take responsibility for your actions I am tired of all your bullshit excuse why you are the way you are .number one your degree don't mean shit your fake hair fake eye lashes and all that plus your nasty attitude don't fly with us black men you are your own worst enemy you show no class and you said your so educated but you have no common sense you should look on the inside of your self not out ward wearing someone else DNA on your head does not change your attitude and you are just trying to cover up that nasty attitude you have no race wants you no other race of women act the way you black women act I see when you black women happen to luck up and get a white man you don't act out with them like you do use. You black women don't take of your bodies looking all sloppy worrying about your fake hair and eye lashes with all these pretty women in the world why just date one race not going to happen
With my ex (1st serious relationship), I was trying to be his best friend but he wasn't really going for that. I'd always be there for him when he needed help. I'd help him find good jobs, cook for him, spruce up his resume, lend him my car, lend him $ when he was in a tight bind. Help him any way I could, even when he'd wronged me. But he didn't value me me or respect me. I didn't act very high value in the end of our relationship & probably looked desperate bcuz I put up w/ things no woman with any decent sense of self-preservation would put up w/. Being with him made me feel like I didn't recognize (or like) who I was becoming. And post-break up, I'm feeling more like me (grounded) but I still don't have a smooth process with meeting/dating men. I haven't done either, period. I don't understand men, never have. And I've known my Dad for my whole life. Guys have mostly always been my friends and not very close bcuz I'm judgemental & preachy & I don't allow many people to get close to me. But I'm always dependable, compassionate and empathetic; so much so that I feel drained bcuz I pour so much into these bonds with little to no return. I've also rarely seen a healthy, happy relationship. And I definitely need to improve my communication, bcuz I'm quick to yell, blame, preach and at times to start cursing. My temper is like the quiet before a raging storm. I'm also extremely stubborn, hell bent on holding to my POV (though I truly enjoy being challenged on my POV). I very seldom shy away from a good argument, being stubborn/headstrong. I got daddy issues from here to the moon, and I don't trust men nowadays to treat me right. Its not that I cant be submissive, but it's that I'm scared of falling back into a pattern of weakness & vulnerability. It breaks you down on so many levels and I can't go through that again. I don't want to be alone or end up alone, but the odds are not in my favor, esp. being a Black woman in this era. So...I said all that to say that I'm open-minded.
Courtney P Most of us have dealt with over investing in empty wells. Please be encouraged. Please invest in a life coach. I have 2. April mason. And Nicole Michele. It will change your life. Shera seven is good for telling us women the truth about what men are thinking and sugar daddies. Choose your lane. Be blessed in this new year.
Are the men civil? I get treated well because I know how to act but many men are disrespectful. The new generation want everything without giving.
what I like about your videos is there is no hate just real talk... Thanks Brother💯✊
Good rundown!
Psmith, people often hear from their life experiences. I was clear in my answers concerning the insurmountable issues women and men are facing in forming lasting love relationships. I said a woman must first understand before being understood. I said women should try to understand men this understanding would help her to add value to the relationship. Secondly, I mentioned women because women desire lasting relationships more often not because women are wrong somehow. However, my argument is men and women do not know how to form and develope loving relationships, that is a fact they focus too much on their personal happiness. This is a glaring indication of there ignorance of reality. I am not suggesting or implying that their is something inherently wrong with women. I am saying that there is a category of knowledge that has been forgotten. The ignorance of this knowledge has been devastating on both men and women. concerning lifelong bonding. What we are now doing isn't working. Nevertheless psmith I am encouraged by your desire to see our community love one another better. I would like to hear your thoughts on how we could accomplish greater love and appreciation for one another. God bless
Everything you said was right on. Peace
This is so true. Again, women not listening. Being combative. He don't know what he is,talking about. No one has all of the answers. But, he has some very valid points. If you get angry with him, and he has been married for 35 years. Well, you will need some cats. So sad, and the combative ones. Years from now. Still single and hard headed. SMH
Best I done heard on this subject man! #Teach
Great talk my bro. God bless u. U explain all in your developpment. Our sisters have to change, we love them but they threat us good. Big up
God bless you sir. Your wife is blessed
LOL! "You don't understand men." Even the dog had to whine on that one.
You've never cheated on your wife.. That's a first!! She needs to run her own masterclass then, on how to keep a man from cheating!
That's good, that's real good. Seriously, I think you have a point.
Sadly so many people are not programmed with the proper instructions and given tools to have healthy relationships. We are programmed with the feminist movement information and it has been to our detriment. Black women IMO have been targeted for this movement and now we are failing in the love category.
Your right many don't have proper instructions when it comes to affairs of the heart. What's important is value, how much value are you worth? Also what's your agenda? What's your end game? There are many more questions we could ask. But if the context for all the above questions asked already isn't informed by the truth then nothing will matter anyway. All of us must be totally transparent. We must recognize that we are the source of all our experiences good or bad. That's liberating because then there is something we can do about the current state of our own love lives. No blame; we must take responsibility for our part in the current state of our love life. We can have what we want we just need to realize that we will need to let somethings go to become the person we will need be in order to attract into our lives the kind of person to give us what we need emotionally.
I hear what your saying, but there is nothing wrong with being alone, and having a man does not necessary make you happy. I'm learning that more and more as time goes on.
Women live longer when they are single.
Sharen Robinson
They don't have to work as hard, since big daddy govt will always step in and help
See dats y'all problem big daddy will help u but how long is dat go last,u are dumb as u look .
Why are their are more black female business owners, bigger collage graduation rates, and employment rates than black men..if we are so dependant on the govt??..your ignorance is not bliss!!
Congratulations to you brotha for setting an example of 30 years of marriage. And thank you for educating our people.
I think this subject has been talked about to death. At this point, are there any black women who care? Black men don't marry and when they do, the stats show that they have the highest divorce rates even in interracial relationships. Facts! Black women just need to worry about their success and really start considering going outside the race. Other men don't know that you're interested.
Thats you best answer? you sound like a fool.
How about helping black couples base on the war against blacks for over 400 hundred yrs.
They need to help themselves.
We don't need to care. Just ask how they would like to be wrapped up for other races to come get them. Would you like some lights to be easily seen at night? We are factually on our own anyway!!!
bubbleschocolate, you’re an exact example of why we don’t. Good luck on the other side with the other races.
I think being immature and childish your relationship will be bad. People don't talk over anything and communication is the key. Giving each other space is also needed to keep the relationship fresh. Control and being clingy is not needed.
I always wanted a black woman when I was growing up and before I got married but black women never wanted me. I talk properly so of course I’m trying to act white, I didn’t have money and wasn’t flashy and treated every one with respect so I dated every other race that wanted me and yes the majority was white women. So even when I went into the military I tried to date black women and same thing they never wanted me so after understanding that black women didn’t want me I gave up on them and got married to a white woman, so why is it that black women give me these little slick looks because I have a white wife ? Can you explain that? I’ve tried most of my teenage years and through my 20’s but now it’s a problem , what is that ?
Most of sisters are attracted to the same type of guy while 80% good black men remain invisible 24/7 in her mind
*MaceoPatterson~jasonjlas+AndrewGoosdy+SarahGivens+Ma1nguy+MrsNettafrom1986+AudreyLane+CryptoSkyGreen6+ChrisJOnes+QueenStatus* _Funny, you said WW was your Queens and married a Low valued WW for 20 years. I could see if you were a good man but all you did was chase WW pussy in your office and whine online about BW while doing nothing with your life! You were too trifling to help your White wife with her dog walking business or help your Mother who died of cancer! _*_How are you a catch or any of your BOYS?_*_ Many of your friends were with multiple WW acting like whores and all of you refused education yet it was FREE! From chasing women in other countries to screw and not make any commitments you ended up with nothing!_
💯💯💯
The truth is black men just don't want to marry and are expecting white men to marry their women ,when it's white marry white ,Indian marry Indian ,Chinese marry Chinese etc..
tiffany mirror, who’s gonna marry a bunch of Cardi B’s?
What makes you good
We didnt have earthly dads to teach us what to look out for. Black men left the household proudly and still behave like they righteous. Black women in a system that makes money for making fun of black women like they did Jesus. But we still here by The Grace of God. So thank you for speaking advice into black womens lives. Its time! We deserve a brother, dad and even an uncle at this point!
I am a black woman from England and I have met some black women that have class and style. So I cannot say that all black American women are the same. It is just a different generation of people from our parents. Charm school might be the answer, for some women. So keep your head up ladies, because I know that all black women are not the same. However the ones that he is referring to in this video, heed his warning.
Mr. Williams - Good video but I suggest focusing more on the points you are saying....Like, a married man's prospective, the ignorance in regards to having a relationship and being realistic.
Thank you very much, your insights are well said.
Starts @ 5:25 👍
what a constructive and mature advice!
This is something used to upset me when I came to America. I used to blame black men as to why they neglect their black women and date other races but I came to realize that the problem is not from one side. I definitely realized that what caused many black men not to have bright future was black women.
You should write a book. You are so right!!!
You right on , so truth
Thank you!!
My question to you sir, is how did you get married if all black women have these issues? It seems you are implying your wife or married black women are the role models we unmarried black women must evolve into and you will show us the way. I respect your right to have an opinion, what I ask is that you be careful with your commentary. There are many black women who have much to offer and are fine just as they are, but black men are not available to meet them where they are. I challenge you to create a video series for your gender. Share the behaviors you've been successful with to attract and maintain your loving relationship. The black man must take responsibility for his failure to lead, maintain and uphold his family. Historically and factually the black man has been marginalized by society and popular culture but instead of seeking refuge with his equally marginalized and maligned partner the black women he too throws stones her way. Who stands for the black women, who holds her up as the prize? NO one. Not even her man.
We fight, pay and deal with your troubled souls but you blame us and bastardize us for protecting ourselves. Gold diggers are made not born. You taught us that money was the measure of your worth in society and you showed us that things (flashy clothes, cars, shoes, prestigious educations, careers or any label of status) are your measures of worth and we follow with that same desires but you call us greedy. Yet you agree it’s the price of admission for White, Latina or Asian women and does right by them because it’s all they know. But the black women must do more with less. To want an educated, progressive, fun, healthy (mentally and physically) adoring partner is asking too much. Black women, you should do be lucky to get anyone to like you. You tell the black women to shut her big mouth, stop popping your butt, stop being bougie or putting on airs, but then you praise our curves and parade us around like sexual objects and prey upon us for financial and baby making gain. Yet you step in place for Becky, Maria or Meh-Lin.
Are black women coachable? Yes. We are open to learning, we are loyal, but we are tired. Tired of standing alone. This is the true reason we are single, we are not willing to settle and black men need to do better.
See us as the prize, not the consolation. Many black men see black women as less than and that hurts. Black women are valued on the same scale by many black men as corporate America values black people.
We have to be twice as good to get half of the offering. To get a progressive successful black man we have to be beyond in all categories, but if we ask the same we get eye rolls and told to do more with less.
We are the prize. See black women through this lens first, then create your educational videos.
Teach us to trust you-- black man. Teach us to believe you will have our backs-- no matter what-- like we've had yours historically.
Guide us with respect and empower us. And we'll lower our protective weapons and receive your loving kindness. Hold us up collectively in spirit and body above all other women as other ethnicities do for their women. Black women are unmarried because of black men.
Well said, Ms. Branch. I certainly can appreciate your candor, as well as your compassion for this very complicated issue. There's enough blame to go around. My real concern is not to blame because that would place me in the position as a victim, nor do I conclude that black women are the authors of black relational genocide. As I stated in the video, relationships, like all areas of life, require knowledge, wisdom, and proper framing, if they are to survive. I have addressed many of your statements concerning the failure of black male leadership and love within the black family dynamic. I agree with you. You are correct when you say many black men have dropped the ball. I do not make any excuses for poor behavior nor do I elevate one race above another. That is why I started this channel. I began my dialog on women because of my respect for the tremendous power of a woman's influence on the black man and her family. Understand Ms. Branch, I do not blame black women for the dysfunction of Black America. All I am trying to do is to give another perspective.
I’m so glad you said this! I think his heart was in the right place but this message was somewhat offensive. The candor made it sound like he was blaming us for the state of our community, which is a much larger issue. I think this is too much of a complicated issue to try to tackle in a brief video. The truth is that high quality men want even higher quality women.
Women who are not willing to settle for less are unlikely to be married. I’m divorced and my goal is not necessarily marriage again. It’s to become the best version of myself and share my life with someone who loves me wholeheartedly.
Mommy 100% right if you don't know you might need to know if you don't know and I don't care about knowing then it is what it is you want to learn how to be in a relationship stay married for long time I'll be waiting to hear from you again thumbs up
As a young man, Im 29, I believe its this aspect of COMPARISON alot of women have now. Women have this Group Think aspect going on. "I refuse to settle" thoughts. I dont think they actually understand what they are looking for in a majority. It coming from other women that arent married. And they find a happy place in where other people tell them that this is a good catch, or you should get this. I dont think they are being realistic with themselves. The same rules apply, men are visual, you cant change how men work or think because you dont like it.
Mr. Lagrone I see you have very strong opinions about black women indeed. Therefore, I will not feed into your perceptions. However, I will add by extension that failures black men and women encounter during their relationships. In my view are motivated by ignorance and indulgence by both parties. Lastly, black culture has no coherent family structure that initiates growth, responsibility and development of black people. So until we black men and black women decide that 75% single family birthrate is enough then perhaps we will come to the peace table and broker a more sane approach to relationships. Until that time we will continue to be an inconsequential people. No heart no life no hope.
I don't understand and I like that I came across this video to learn but I thought black women were the ones who marries the most. I don't knew f an woman who are over 30 with kids that is not married. I think you might be talking about the USA. Thanks for posting.
it's not because something is pushed down somebody's throat that they had to be part of it. It's very confusing for us non english speaking european because when we think of black american, especially the women, we think they are very "god fearing" which means this out of wedlock situation hardly exist. I think you should not blame the media but blame the community, if the community reject something, it will eventually fade away. To be honest, in the situation you discribe i'd blame both the men there and the women. Why being with women with multiple kids? on the other hands, ladies, come on, if you once love a man and he left you with a child, then you find another one, and he left you with another child. Stop here and go work on yourself and your future. In this situation finding another is not the solution.
k Mitchell stop lying
Immensely appreciated your sentiments however, I wondered in this twenty first century despite the professionalism and career oriented individuals women and men wether the acquisition of professionalism, wealth, class elitism, and being aspirational could add values to a committed relationship...Can leopard change its spot... The inherently 21st centuries women. Your statements morally add sentimental values, long-term future base rewards.Many women were not well grounded and their approached to men is a misplaced feminism of " I get what I want; am not lowering my standards..." Standard as oppose to inherently values of building and nurturing a relationship. Thank You
I want to hear more..
Get to the point faster.........
He still hasn't