Understanding your core fears

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 มิ.ย. 2021
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ความคิดเห็น • 304

  • @doeeyed7498
    @doeeyed7498 3 ปีที่แล้ว +293

    Your "core" series are magnificent! I struggle alone because I am not able to afford help, thank you for sharing your wisdom

    • @jodycasey6936
      @jodycasey6936 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Stick by Dr Ramani and make a plan to get out. It’ll never get better and your life is just as important as anybody’s. I wish you peace

    • @doeeyed7498
      @doeeyed7498 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@jodycasey6936 yes I know, I got out hopefully, you too take care

    • @Picca65
      @Picca65 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      🧡

    • @lupitagomez7197
      @lupitagomez7197 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That was beautiful...

    • @lacoleslim
      @lacoleslim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Your not alone. You found all of us and we all found each other. The support is directly in front of you. If you allow your conscious self look through you honey you will discover we are being healed through modern technology. Free therapy… lol😍🦋❤️🌹. Thanx Dr. R.

  • @famhuideng4132
    @famhuideng4132 3 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    Authentic relationships are built upon open communication and boundaries while what we are often taught growing up is unquestionable submissiveness and people pleasing .It's high time that the system changes for the better .

    • @Gwen13061
      @Gwen13061 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This quote ^^^^💥

    • @uruuuuocean
      @uruuuuocean 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Unquestionable submissiveness"
      💔💔💔💔💔

  • @dhanyaslifeventure
    @dhanyaslifeventure 3 ปีที่แล้ว +115

    Our fears are narcs' investment portfolio.Fears such as being abandoned by the ones we love,fear of letting go without putting efforts to save it,fear of not able to find anyone again.Narcs assess these fears and play with those. Please understand, never reveal your fears to them,fears don't know our courage.let's face this! Thanks Dr.Ramani

    • @amays7720
      @amays7720 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This!

    • @lorianne4608
      @lorianne4608 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Perfectly stated. Narcs play with our lives!!

    • @mjayanthi3425
      @mjayanthi3425 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Shilpa you are to the point
      They play on fear ,insecurities,
      When we are vulnerable they will have figured out
      Unfortunately in my case .
      But I am learning so much from this Gp of people
      Thank you all

  • @healinginprogress9759
    @healinginprogress9759 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    My head is like a horror movie. I’m even afraid of every phone call I receive. It's like someone will call me and yell at me like I did something wrong. I’m so afraid of being blamed and being yelled at.

    • @Progenitor1979
      @Progenitor1979 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It's hard my friend... I know the feeling exactly...I find relief in following Rupert Spira, check his meditations on TH-cam. I really hope that helps. Suffering is not essential to us, we(you) don't need it.. 😉

    • @healinginprogress9759
      @healinginprogress9759 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Progenitor1979 Thank you🙏 it is difficult to deal with this feeling. Fear is very strong

    • @fearlessliving6797
      @fearlessliving6797 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I can relate to that. Sending you love 💗. Take baby steps. You will get better.

    • @tequilajoe518
      @tequilajoe518 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I experienced the same 3 years back when I was working in a very toxic environment

    • @healinginprogress9759
      @healinginprogress9759 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@tequilajoe518 yes me too. I had a narcissistic boss, a narcissistic grandmother, a narcissistic first boyfriend, and a narcissistic sibling. All my life was surrounded by them. It's like never-ending horror movie. My mind keeps replaying it even I am far away from all of them.

  • @sjk27
    @sjk27 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    “When core fears trigger in a narcissist, they attack others. Whereas when such fears trigger in an empathic person, we suffer on our own. Maybe it’s time for all of us to be well acquainted with our core fears - so that we can wake up, be aware & be in control.”

  • @avgonyma1
    @avgonyma1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    CORE FEARS:
    Difference from core BELIEFS:
    - core fears are always LIMITING and usually go back to EARLY fears (e.g. fears of abandonment, rejection, looking foolish, embarrassment, failure, getting sick, being forgotten).
    Because of them we may not take chances, meet new people, try new jobs. We may become reactive around departure.
    We may stick to not challenging things, which will limit the chance to grow or reach a full potential.
    2:27
    Reasons for core fears:
    1. Fear of abandonment:
    - lost parent
    - was abandoned
    - parent was not available
    - was rejected when expressing needs
    2:46
    2. Fear of rejection/failure:
    - raised in a family of shame/criticism
    - was only noticed for achievement and not even recognized enough for it
    3:13
    3. Fear of getting sick:
    - parents concerned of health, ilness
    3:39
    Being raised by narcissistic parents (children unseen, invalidated, variable empathy, fear, walking on eggshells, feeling of not being enough, lots of conditional love) will raise numerous core fears.
    Most consistent fallout: anxiety.
    (A complement to fear)
    4:20
    Difficulty with core fears:
    - driver for unhealthy behaviour
    - set lower goals
    - sell yourself short in a relationship
    - more probable to end up in a narcissistic relationship (giving in, getting along so the other person doesn't leave. Overlooking the red flags.)
    5:30
    In a narcissistic relationship:
    - the core fears (rejection, abandonment) are reinforced on a daily basis. The approach/avoidance nature of the relationship are the cause of it.
    Sadly, some people develop new core fears, after the manipulation, control and dominance.
    6:40
    How about the narcissist's core fears?
    - they are a warehouse of core fears
    - theirs are unprocessed, raw. They sit very deeply and pull the strings (fear of abandonment, rejection, inadequacy, failure etc). Pointing out to them that their core fears are activated Will only trigger rage. Their core fears are the driver of their domination, rage, manipulation, invalidation.
    7:25
    Anything that triggers those fears will be destroyed. As a difference "normal" people become more anxious, tentative, yielding, self doubting, but not triggered and attacking. Because they understand their fears better, so are better able to access the situation and themselves.
    8:07
    Trauma bonding:
    - Core fears get activated and feel familiar, and makes it hard to unstick from a bad situation
    - we become really good in making justifications and on thinking there is sth magical there (because it's so intense)
    8:49
    We all have core fears. Them getting activated often it shows as:
    - being tentative
    - holding back
    - being stuck
    - reacting gracelessly or more strongly than we wanted to
    Our core fears are narratives, stories we tell ourselves, about various psychological reasons,related to childhood.
    To understand/identify yours, use the work sheets in the description box.

  • @liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876
    @liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    The biggest fear now is ending up in another narcissistic relationship, and trusting myself in making the right decisions. I had not that deep fear before💔 I want to start dating at some point and find a life partner and be in healthy relationship, so working on this fear is crucial. It has been almost 8 months and still healing. Thank you so very much for your guidance and help in the healing process💖

    • @RoyalKnightCurly
      @RoyalKnightCurly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I have a pretty morbid fear of reentering a narcissistic relationship, myself. Which is why the daily practice of 'gray-rocking' in my current disposition with narcissists is so important to my life :-).

    • @liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876
      @liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@RoyalKnightCurly Thank you for the comment and for sharing what you do. That helps💕

    • @RoyalKnightCurly
      @RoyalKnightCurly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876 Anytime! ;-)

    • @IYoungHuang
      @IYoungHuang 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I got you....
      Boundaries.
      It repels narcissist. 😁
      The healthy person respect boundary.
      "No." is a complete sentence.👍

    • @predley
      @predley 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes Liudmila…I so understand and get your fears. I’m only two Months out of my Toxic NPD relationship and have my Spidy sensors on high alert for any narcissistic signs in women I meet.

  • @irisseer2773
    @irisseer2773 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I managed so we'll on my own before the marriage. Now I'm struggling to find that person again.

    • @ginnytrumpet2303
      @ginnytrumpet2303 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You will definetly find her! It is like riding a bicycle after years- all it takes it practice! Be brave :)

    • @irisseer2773
      @irisseer2773 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ginnytrumpet2303 Thank you ♥️

  • @emmaadams5905
    @emmaadams5905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    It's crazy that I never identified as someone who had these core fears like abandonment or failure but as you unpack what those actually look like im like "well shit I'm collecting a whole set I guess" lol definitely was way worse before trauma informed therapy and EMDR but it's crazy I never noticed how these things were so engrained into my childhood

    • @RoyalKnightCurly
      @RoyalKnightCurly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Hey, this is me, too! Very early in my childhood I was constantly criticized, scrutinized, bullied and belittled by the narcissists in my life, and to this day, those ugly experiences still weigh heavy on my mind, reinforcing those core fears. It never fails....

    • @Certari
      @Certari 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I second the EMDR/trauma informed therapy making things better.

  • @amays7720
    @amays7720 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    He is all fear and insecurities. He used my core fears, especially of abandonment, against me. He definitely brought my fears and secret insecurities to light and used them against me. For the trauma I suffered for the last 3 years, I am grateful to have been shown what needed healing and to heal it. It only brings me closer to my true core self and helps me repel any potential future Narcissistic relationship. Breaking that trauma bond is a whirlwind of emotions but the peace and self worth is so worth cutting the helpless out.

  • @ghuyakalika
    @ghuyakalika 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    May we all develop a six pack psyche!!
    This is the most important work! Understanding is liberation!
    Thank you dr Ramani! 💗
    My fear at the moment is also allowing more narcissists in my life. But this is probably a healthy fear. Eliminate any narc from your life before they can prey on your core vulnerabilities

  • @jamiepatton9334
    @jamiepatton9334 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Dr. R you are brilliant. Anyone can read a book, study for tests to become a doctor of anything. I dont know how you understand all these concepts so well, and articulate so many true scenarios. It's truly amazing. Thank you.

  • @aninditachakrabarty4052
    @aninditachakrabarty4052 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    With so many narcissists in my profession, my biggest fear is now to be manipulated and gaslighted by them for the nth number of time. Thanks to Dr. Ramani I can now recognize these harmful people early on and take steps to avoid them as much as possible. With her helpful lecture on core fears hopefully I will be able to unburden myself from those at last.

  • @leonellie1
    @leonellie1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Fear of feeling

    • @RoyalKnightCurly
      @RoyalKnightCurly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yep, I know what that's like...

    • @Gwen13061
      @Gwen13061 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That only happened for me in the narc relationship

  • @gennyf
    @gennyf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Your advices, your vibe, your knowledge is the most precious moment in my day! Thank you 🙏🏻

  • @tequilajoe518
    @tequilajoe518 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This video cleared so many issues in my life. I had loving parents but they always left me under the care of my elder sister who was extremely abusive. She would yell at me, bully me in school, slap me, shame me and practically kept me under her toes throughout my growing years. Whenever I complained to my parents, they dismissed as casual sibling fights and called it "love". This left me with deep seated confidence and communication issues and a general distrust of anyone in authority. I never understood why I didn't have a good relationship with my parents despite them not directly abusing me, but their patronage of my abusive sister explains the resentment I have against anyone in my family and people in position of power in general.

    • @predley
      @predley 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oh my A S. That sounds horrible and am happy you are now awake and know you are not alone.

    • @devidaughter7782
      @devidaughter7782 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I notice myself also tending to describe my parents as 'loving', even though when I look at the impact of their behaviors on me, I can recognize tremendous damage from which I am still recovering. looking in from the outside on your story, I would say 'its NOT 'loving' to dismiss someone, ignore their concerns, not respond to their pain, and to gaslight them to say that abuse is 'love'! in saying this to you, I am affirming this for myself also. its amazing how strongly we want to believe we came from a 'loving home' despite so much evidence to the contrary! maybe its just too painful to let in fully the truth that our families were actually abusive (which isn't to deny that there was also love - all very confusing... even as adults, never mind as children)! you have a right to be mad at your parents. allowing abuse is as bad as causing abuse. their job was to protect you, and you weren't protected. its okay to be mad about that!

  • @greywolf6146
    @greywolf6146 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Thank you Dr. Ramani. Stuff like this is what makes the internet great.

  • @jodyayers4592
    @jodyayers4592 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This! ❤
    I have developed new core fears. And that's why I feel so upside down. They are very much at odds with my core values.

    • @diannalamantia1702
      @diannalamantia1702 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wow. I have to examine this. Thanks for sharing the relationship between the two👏

    • @Gwen13061
      @Gwen13061 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too. Maybe these fears were there all along? We were healthy enough to control them. Then we are involved with the narcissist and they come forward? Not sure

    • @jodyayers4592
      @jodyayers4592 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Gwen13061 I've been pondering that myself.
      Where they there but I didn't see them that way?
      But truly, why now?
      Except that I'm armed with the knowledge of what I have really been dealing with all along?

    • @Gwen13061
      @Gwen13061 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jodyayers4592 because the N triggers us in some way. We’ve now learned the world is not a safe place. We expected safety in the relationship with an N person and we learn our instincts were so off

    • @jodyayers4592
      @jodyayers4592 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Gwen13061
      What really got me this time was that I suspected it before I got involved.
      I had been studying it off and on, this person was family, someone I deeply cared about. I thought I was just being paranoid.
      The first few months, I tried to put it out of my mind. It's was an adjustment period for any live in situation. We shared a motel room until we could find an apartment.
      It all started as soon as I was locked into that shared apartment deal.
      That first day, she kept letting the storm door slam, in and out in and out.
      I really figured she would get sick of hearing it, but no. She knew it was getting in my nerves.
      I was never so aware of the blatantness of narc behavior. But living with her, I had front row seating to the show and how she was also treating others.
      The first day, I knew it was gonna be hard.
      And within a week or so, I woke up to her raging at me. Accusing me of seeking into her room, shutting her vents, turning off her fan and turning up the air-conditioning?
      This was crazy stuff.
      I did not know that sleep deprivation was a thing with narcs. She would be banging cabinets and knocking on the wall my room shared with the bathroom all hours of the night. If I tried to nap after work she would bust into my room to tell me something, startling me awake.
      That's just a few of the things. Somehow, I was always broke, but she wasn't. She was trying to gig me for twice as much rent as I should have paid.
      And always, she was sorry. Saying it in a baby voice. I've never been so sick of hearing those words lol
      And what kept going thru my mind was how she told me I had made her mad about 2 yrs prior. Every one was mad at her, again, for the same things they were always mad at her for, I was aware of the problems and I said, "sometimes, sorry becomes the problem"
      Appearantly I caused a narc injury. I had no idea, she seemed thoughtful as I left the room.
      Only to find out 2 yrs later, after putting my life on hold to move her from one state to another, and get an apartment together, that she had been furious.
      I think the reason this time so affected me is because she is the quintessential covert narc.
      It blew me away, and I was trapped with it for 8 months. By the time I was able to get some money saved up, I was ready to sleep in my car. I literally couldn't take another moment or grayrock another second.
      I had always thought of her as a mother figure....little did I know, she was.

  • @IngeborgSchmitz
    @IngeborgSchmitz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Love this "core" series! Understanding how narcisssism works and the impact it has on you was already very helpful, but this series takes me a whole step further in recovery. A lot of stuff to think about! Thank you so much dr. Ramani! Where would we be without you?!

  • @DomCOuano
    @DomCOuano 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "Our core fears are narratives" BWOAH I've been writing stories, sort of like journaling but then I'll take off fantasizing and I'll end up with a story. And it's been very therapeutic.

    • @einsteindarwin8756
      @einsteindarwin8756 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love this. It has been my tendency to create stories in my head as a result of disassociating. So I am focusing on storytelling. I am happy to hear that some else finds it very therapeutic as well.

  • @BojanGersak
    @BojanGersak 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    First many thanks for worksheet dr. Ramani. My core fear was to close relationship with narcissist and live alone, but as you can see I have survived :-)

  • @dominiquemall9014
    @dominiquemall9014 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    It took me 65 years to realize that my mother was narcissistic and my 2 living sisters are
    I divorced this year from my ex husband which was a narcissistic passive aggressive
    I am making progress making no contact with my 2 abusive sisters and I start feeling able to breathe better
    Thanks to your help Dr Ramani😊

  • @chiqui0816
    @chiqui0816 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Good morning Dr. Ramani🙏 I'm getting ready for work and taking in my morning therapy session with you.😊 I thank you for your informative and helpful videos.

  • @peterknyk1942
    @peterknyk1942 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Fear of failure and a deep-seated fear of abandonment has accompanied me most of my life. Some of this came from my childhood but the majority of these fears were intensified as a result of a narcissist who criticized me constantly for my, perceived by her, failures....what I feared the most, abandonment, came true when she abandoned me! If I had this knowledge that you have given to us today I might have been able to prevent disaster and manage these fears in a better way. Although, the narcissist was so tangled up in her own feelings of inadequacy there is probably no possibility for that to have been different. This pattern seems to be the plight of many people who end up being narcissistically abused. Thank you very much for this today, Dr. Ramani. ❤️🙏🕊

  • @travis6694
    @travis6694 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Abandonment, rejection. Yeah she ain’t coming back into my life.

    • @bahle20
      @bahle20 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mine was to have kids with a deadbeat father who would reject and abandon them. He did it to me and to my kids. I went through triple grief. Yep, I will never utter a word to him ever again

  • @MariaSantana-ul5wd
    @MariaSantana-ul5wd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Fear paralyzes so we must push back when it arises in our mind. Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you...I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

  • @MrHandoverfist
    @MrHandoverfist 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Hugs, Doc.
    You help so many so much
    You help me
    ❤️

  • @rushmorestork2828
    @rushmorestork2828 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dr Ramani thank you for helping recognise the narcissists in my family. I really miss my family and more than anything else, I really miss my parents who are deceased. I’m a very lonely person. I was born as a fraternal twin. My twin sister died at birth. I grew up with my 3 sisters and my Mum. I have always been bullied by people, family members, friends and strangers who hated me for being gay and different. I rise above for much of the time but I cant sustain it as I do care that people reduce my choices by knowingly and covertly setting me up and constantly defaming me and this results in me feeling hopeless joyless lonely and intermittently depressed. I’ve experienced massive financial hardship and I still have a desire to live.

  • @arose2amoeba83
    @arose2amoeba83 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I've never commented though have been watching since I started fleeing my former situation. What a brilliant and gifted woman. For me, her delivery of the information is as important as the information itself.

  • @lacoleslim
    @lacoleslim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Core fear - trigger activated - PTSD,,, great anxiety came over me as I truly listened. Thank you for sharing and helping me get out that emotion and feeling and thought process so I can heal once again as I listen, learn and truly let go of what needs to be addressed in my soul, thought process (taking out the ego) and - every area of me to move forward consciously. Greatful Greatful Greatful 🦋❤️🌹

  • @venusrising6554
    @venusrising6554 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    There's a core fear of having to perpetually deal with the never ending, unfixable, destructive, vicious behavior of the Narcissist who simply will not stop.

  • @kathleengriffin6214
    @kathleengriffin6214 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This core series has triggered some anxiety. Opened my eyes to my need for more self exploration and understanding. 66 years old and I have no idea of what 'normal' looks like. That actually makes me laugh. Two years ago it would have deepened my then chronic depression. I've come a long way. Thanks❤

  • @harrymuchipi6928
    @harrymuchipi6928 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you so much Dr Ramani you changed my life, keep doing the good work

  • @cjk7063
    @cjk7063 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This series is great. I never thought about it that way. Thank you Dr. Ramani. 🙏🏽❤

  • @abolichavan8892
    @abolichavan8892 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for all these videos on narcissism. Can you please make one video and share insights on narcissism and double standards as well?

  • @80islandia
    @80islandia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thanks for the worksheet, Dr. Ramani. I appreciate the resource. Fear of failure is one of my most tenacious core fears and has held me back from so much.

    • @snehbagaria8472
      @snehbagaria8472 ปีที่แล้ว

      Where did you find the worksheet? Please help :) I am not able to see them. I only see the link to the healing program and podcasts.

    • @kimberley6446
      @kimberley6446 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@snehbagaria8472 go look in the video info for the "core work" Long video

  • @tequilajoe518
    @tequilajoe518 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Eagerly wait for your core series videos whole day long. Thanks Dr. Ramani.

  • @myrnabryant7992
    @myrnabryant7992 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    When we are born we have no fear 😊as we grow others place that core fear in us 🤦‍♀️there is a movie called Lost Angel with Margaret O’Brien where she is being raised by professors to become a genius it works but she was never exposed to the real world she had many core fears and beliefs and someone comes into her life and shows her that her fears of the real world are in her mind 😊I’ve watched this movie over and over again 🙌🏼what I learned was we have the power to change those 😊we just need the knowledge and tools to do it 😊thanks doc 💐🙏

  • @clarissaisawesome
    @clarissaisawesome 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    💙 your detailed information as it does indeed help me understand and release. Thank you 🌱

  • @monicarai1497
    @monicarai1497 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When you have been gaslighted so long. Sometimes we begin to unknowingly gaslight yourselves

  • @daleswain9520
    @daleswain9520 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Love the worksheets!

  • @Rco494
    @Rco494 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dr Ramani u are the best. There are a few tubers that educate us regarding narcissism but none compare to your clarity and logic. Keep doing your greatly needed videos. They really make us aware of what we deal with daily.

  • @bradmcewen
    @bradmcewen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Knowing how different personalitys responds to learned fears, beliefs, reinforces knowing whatever core behavior people exhibit will be accentuated upon a trigger.

  • @TheShackbully
    @TheShackbully 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I now recognize a number of fears that have been holding me back for a large portion of my life. Things like setting the bar lower than necessary in personal and professional relationships because of the fear of failure/rejection have been the path I've all too often taken. I now recognize and acknowledge these fears. I'm not so sure what to do about them and, honestly, I felt a bit down once I admitted to them. My only hope now is that simply recognizing and acknowledging them will allow me to call them out when they surface and choose a more positive way to move through them. Find it, own it, change it? Lord, I hope.

  • @karenkasteler942
    @karenkasteler942 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you.....I used to subconsciously cruise for intensity in a relationship....only to be strung along and strung up....in the end....I am on a solitary journey now....finding my own company preferable to men.

  • @skywalktriceiam
    @skywalktriceiam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you Dr. Ramani, this one is indeed helpful, as the splash(es) left some caked-in mud. Hearing what I intrinsically understand from you in today's video will help get me unstuck.💜

  • @lorianne4608
    @lorianne4608 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love this series! I’ve had so much trouble coping with my core beliefs. I now understand that if I don’t address these fears, I will be forever stuck. Thank you so very much, Doctor Ramini!! I hope you are feeling better. ❤️

  • @laurac7130
    @laurac7130 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome content! I was away for the week and had to catch up! Thank you Dr.Ramani! Great insight and appreciate your wisdom ❤️

  • @kimedison6677
    @kimedison6677 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for all of the information and tools you give us to help us heal.

  • @lisageneshope5717
    @lisageneshope5717 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This will be excellent! Look forward to this series.

  • @Warlanda
    @Warlanda 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    thank you, Dr. Ramani; much love and respect to you

  • @tracydanneo
    @tracydanneo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for the worksheet!

  • @bettyford1524
    @bettyford1524 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You do such a professional and humanistic job, I am bingewatching your videos for two days now. Sadly my mother did not survive the narcissist's abuse. I am still in the process of recovering. I was too young to see what was going on, everything was so mad and chaotic, but now but by bit I get it. Thank you.

  • @tonyavanhorn4206
    @tonyavanhorn4206 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I want to thank you for all your doing. Watching these videos has helped ME TO to begin to heal. The pain has been REAL AND I AM STILL IN THE...WAS ANY OF THAT REAL? PHASE.

  • @jamiestumps6146
    @jamiestumps6146 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Dr. your a precious gift!

  • @bellajoseph1867
    @bellajoseph1867 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this series and your channel. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom. I am hopeful to see more on the 'core work' series. Please!!!

  • @Rana0211
    @Rana0211 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr. Ramani, thank you so much for these videos, I listen to you every day.

  • @gmchilders
    @gmchilders 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Beautifully done! Thank you!

  • @rachelcarmina3958
    @rachelcarmina3958 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome video. Your explanation of core fears were eye opening for me. You've given me a good framework to understanding my decisions over the years. More importantly, why i seem to have made so many poor decisions for myself.

  • @dianajane6185
    @dianajane6185 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this core series, Dr. Ramani. So very helpful. I will do these worksheets and take them to my therapist.

  • @hbass34238
    @hbass34238 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you, this was helpful in finding out what is at the root of my GAD.

  • @ec1222
    @ec1222 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is a great accompaniment to the narcissism theme of the channel, but also a good idea for giving Dr Ramani a break from always discussing depressing topics! Keep doing more of these, especially when you need refreshment/a break. 💖

  • @pegasusgenesis360
    @pegasusgenesis360 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As always, these videos are so eye opening. Thank you so much for all that you do Dr. Ramani!! You have helped shine a light, in a dark place! You are a gift to the world, for those that need you!!! You have helped me so so so so much!

  • @phun1901
    @phun1901 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    That is the most comprehensive disclaimer I have ever seen in a video description.

  • @univers368
    @univers368 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    All the thanks dear Dr Ramani for the all narcissistic education!!! It is so helpful at a level that it can’t be expensed in words! Thank You ♥️🌹🤗

  • @delyndacorsetti7204
    @delyndacorsetti7204 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Incredibly helpful!! Thank you so much!! Makes me tear up and really think.

  • @ruby-qv5bd
    @ruby-qv5bd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    As always, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with all to learn from. So much appreciated by many. Grateful for the wisdom you share.

  • @jessicaswartz2620
    @jessicaswartz2620 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Dr Ramani. Hope you are doing better and getting enough rest. You have honestly changed my life for the better... Sending you healing and love.

  • @magicisreal2212
    @magicisreal2212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I'm so sorry to be blunt, but there comes a point when "Healing" becomes Ruminating..
    We can't understand More by repeatedly harping on the same painful memories over n over.
    Its Over and in the Past. It will Never Make Sense, bc they are, hurtful/hateful/jealous, ppl.
    That's Literally All There Is To It.
    TRUE HEALING is Moving Forward in Life.

    • @laurawilliams7407
      @laurawilliams7407 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Obviously I don’t know you or your situation. Lots of us are new here and are still trying to make some sense of what we’ve endured for the past few year or perhaps 40 years (yep, I stayed for that long 😳). I’m hoping that you’ve come to the end of your understanding this process and are in a good place now. I know I’ve unfollow a couple groups because I’m so over the “I miss him so much and just want to talk to him” mentality that I have no patience for it. I hope you’re healed. I know I’m not.

    • @magicisreal2212
      @magicisreal2212 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@laurawilliams7407 I'm not here to offend anyone, I'm just stating my opinion, not an 'expert.' I'm just thinking in a basic 'processing' way. "Healing" is a relative term.. nobody can pin point when someone is "healed" but generally its when u remember what u learned and do something different, hence receiving a different/better outcome in ur life. Humans can take in as much info as possible, and it will never matter if we can't Utilize our "Lessons" in our 3d human world. My point was, we don't require an Unlimited amount of detailed info to Assess a situation... Once u Know, U know. You keep the Learned lesson in the back of your head, While you Live your Life... and when those situations occur, you do better. Then next time you do better again...as much as you can. That's Healing to me. I'm all about Processing, but Part of that is knowing how to Use those Lessons In Real Life. You can't do that if you're Always searching for answers you'll never be satisfied by hearing anyway. Living in your head for too long will just Keep u there...stagnant, never Fully Processing the Actual Healing, bc you don't Put it to Use! That's what I meant. I'm not "Healed" probably as far as u may see it... but when does Anybody feel Perfectly Healed..?? Does that even exist..?

    • @aprilanderson6432
      @aprilanderson6432 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I so agree. There just has to come a time where you put those events away and move on or better yet, live each day in the present. I now live with my elderly narcissist parents. I cannot let the past overshadow my present or I would constantly be in a state of panic. I have to now deal with each day as it comes. Put up barriers when needed, walk away, protect my heart… but still be a kind, polite, happy person.

    • @laurawilliams7407
      @laurawilliams7407 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@magicisreal2212 I understand what you’re saying. Just started my divorce process last October, and some counseling and a support group after that. This is when I figured out he was a malignant narc. He checks all the boxes. His mother and sisters are too. Once that became blatantly obvious, I set about understanding what that meant and how I basically enabled this behavior for four decades. This is going to take a minute to unpack for me. It doesn’t happen overnight. This info can grow tedious. When that happens I just stop watching and listening. My patience grows very thin so I turn it off for a bit. Maybe it’s time for a break from these sites? IDK. Richard Grannon (sp?) says that his hope for us is that we get beyond all this and stop listening to these talks. That sounds pretty good right now.

    • @magicisreal2212
      @magicisreal2212 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@laurawilliams7407 I do agree with you. The info grows so tedious to hear anymore.. thats probably bc we already Know... but keep ingesting the same info over n over. Same thing w/tarot.. I can't stand to listen anymore. Altho it does get some creepy details rt, there's no way that All the ppl listening are going to.. "have someone Return" who "held back before" and now has "love confessions"...lol. If you listen everyday, the "fortune" tellers become Story tellers, its not our story everyday.. and thats how ppl get swept up in Thoughts rather than Life. I think stopping listening to all of it is a good idea tbh, for me anyway.

  • @carolv1791
    @carolv1791 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much for this series and the worksheets are very helpful. I just printed the sheets out on Core Fear, that is my work for today. Thanks again Dr. Ramani, hope your doing well. 🙏🙏😊😊

  • @bluesky8057
    @bluesky8057 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is so helpful for me, I've definitely developed new core fears and or put more empathis on one's I already have with different sorts of narcisists in my life, boss, partner, 'friends', siblings etc. Definitely a case of love is not enough with a narcissist. Now I find myself with dating not answering questions as I don't want things used against me and I'm looking out for the red flags.

  • @com1R
    @com1R 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm so thankful!

  • @magugayonela8978
    @magugayonela8978 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr ramani who are called to this healing ministry and thank you for helping us

  • @rafaqatnaheed2612
    @rafaqatnaheed2612 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Please make more videos on covert narcissists sisters

  • @elaynepallist572
    @elaynepallist572 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much for this information and the worksheets. It's literally the exact kind of work I need to do at this point in my journey, because it puts so much of what I've experienced in perspective. I can't change my childhood and all the things I lost, but I can hold a space for those losses, unfair labels, and absence of love and transcend it. Only by holding them up to the light of unconditional love can we begin the healing process. You're providing us with a pathway for beginning that work of self-acceptance, self-love and wholeness with all your continuous, unyielding validation of our experience. I am forever indebted to you! Never forget that you are a gift to all of us who are hurting and have never been able to wrap our heads around all the trauma we've experienced.
    P.S. I find myself quoting you all the time now to friends who are trying to figure out why this toxic person they know is causing so much damage...

  • @sreid9740
    @sreid9740 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good one, things making sense, but #2 video was still scary for me! Thanks Dr Ramani; this is helping regarding my doubts about getting therapy/coaching....which one, sigh!! Take care and have a good day!!

  • @ph0n3g33k
    @ph0n3g33k 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr. Ramani, your videos have been so instrumental in my own personal healing and I have passed some of them along to someone else who opened up to me and I felt compelled to share your videos. Thank you for helping us feel “normal” again with your content. FYI, listen to the song “Monsters” by All Time Low. The lyrics reminded me of what we tend to do in a narcissistic relationship.

  • @mamaberd
    @mamaberd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ditto on may comments: Really like this series and hope more to come on working on self! Thanks Dr. R

  • @sudeepparaghamian7468
    @sudeepparaghamian7468 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    My is there anything that Dr Ramini does not explain that does not resonate with me!!!!!!!!!!
    Just down right amazing commentary she delivers each time!!!!!!!

  • @HaleyMary
    @HaleyMary 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i have always had a fear of failure both in school and work for as long as I can remember, ever since I was 5 or 6. Having a disability and being underemployed in my thirties doesn't help with building confidence.

  • @user-ff8bk3os2k
    @user-ff8bk3os2k 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    So true, I watched all your videos and I thank God you exist. You opened my eyes and through you I understood who I have been dealing with for 17 years. I hope you might make a video about a narcissistic husband using his child as a card game because I want to leave him. And how the child is psychologically affected by a narcissistic parent because I start to see how much he changes and I see some behaviors in him that I recognize are unhealthy for him because I already know I am a victim of narcissistic abuse thanks to you and I recognize some of the symptoms in my son, his 12 years old.maybe I am wrong I do not know. Thank you very much Dr. Romani.

  • @happybergner9832
    @happybergner9832 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, as always, for your wonderful, validating, understanding, uplifting, and HOPEFUL videos.
    I self identify for most of the fears you mention.
    "Life begins outside your comfort level," (David Neale Walsh,) is it ALSO a lifesaver to me.

  • @af3893
    @af3893 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow 👏 this really resonated for me! I can pinpoint the time when my core fears were activated and aggravated in my previous relationship. Any time I would attempt to take back my control by separating or refusing to cooperate, it would peak. Eventually, I began to avoid the conflict all together in an effort to keep my life and family afloat. It's living in fear.

  • @suryas1692
    @suryas1692 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Dr Ramani. Very valuable series to help us dive deep in our psyche. If we are aware of our psyche, this is already a battle half won. After all, how can we address issues that we aren't aware of? So grateful for this series.

  • @sonjadenver7356
    @sonjadenver7356 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr ramani I hope your are okay . I send this with gentle effect...rest , sleep , look after yourself too. Xx hugs

  • @joannepimentel6108
    @joannepimentel6108 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I wrote down all my core fears and it’s like a whole book on its own 😓
    Thank you Dr Ramani for helping me through my healing journey! It’s been invaluable for me and I sooo appreciate your validation and honesty ❤️

  • @VaNessa-kf2ep
    @VaNessa-kf2ep 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You're a Saint Dr. Ramani 😇💞🙏

  • @JohnLW100
    @JohnLW100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This presentation is brilliant

  • @Kryptonite13
    @Kryptonite13 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Very helpful series ❤️

  • @ildikof1606
    @ildikof1606 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    That is it. Our core fears are re-inforced in adult narcissistic relationships. It is bad enough to live with the ongoing sense of trauma of our childhood in adulthood, when the danger is over but our amygdala still experiences it to be happening in the present, but when we find ourselves in the exact same, objectively dangerous relationship, the re-traumatisation is unreal.

  • @larisaackov7242
    @larisaackov7242 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video is core important.
    tnx!

  • @marywilliams5058
    @marywilliams5058 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Gm Precious 🗣

  • @deborahbrown5840
    @deborahbrown5840 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I so appreciate your taking the time to make these videos. I do t see the worksheets you mention. Deb

  • @Eridanus0001
    @Eridanus0001 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Brilliant. Thank you!

  • @m.riveram9217
    @m.riveram9217 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are so good at simplifying these concepts. I send these videos to my daughters. So well done!!

  • @ely-d7t
    @ely-d7t 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you!

  • @SharpCats371
    @SharpCats371 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Candyman 2021 movie was first ad that popped up when I started the video. Life has it's cues and clues😲

  • @Carolina-rd3gh
    @Carolina-rd3gh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Can you talk about narcissist’s hypersensitive to their feelings and numbness to other people’s feelings? Like in a conversation where you are opening up about them like you opening up about your dad’s passing and then interrupting and starting to talk about how sad they were their fish died or downplaying your feelings in an argument and portrayed their petty ones as more important?

    • @magicisreal2212
      @magicisreal2212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Or just let it go, knowing you don't have to deal with that horrible person ever again... Thoughts become things right..?

    • @Carolina-rd3gh
      @Carolina-rd3gh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@magicisreal2212 Not everyone can leave. Dr. Knows this.

    • @magicisreal2212
      @magicisreal2212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Carolina-rd3gh Most All CAN, but are Too Afraid To Leave. Ruminating doesn't heal

    • @Carolina-rd3gh
      @Carolina-rd3gh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@magicisreal2212 What if you deal with this people in your workplace or have to encounter them in social situations. You’re not thinking this through. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships.

    • @magicisreal2212
      @magicisreal2212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Carolina-rd3gh I've thought this through extensively... There is Literally No Scenario in life where u HAVE to deal with them, Unless u Secretly Want to Deal with them... If the suffering is Worth it to you. Nobody's holding a gun to your head Making u speak or even Look at them. Its Free Will, and Self Control. Even if u share children, you can have an Advocate as a Go between..
      Doesn't Matter where or how you encounter them... its Your Choice to engage with them or Not. Stop playing a victim of your own circumstance.

  • @deeptiananthramu7358
    @deeptiananthramu7358 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dr. Ramani, you are hid sent. I cannot tell you how much you have helped me. Thank you for your amazing work.
    Can someone help me find the worksheets.

  • @justme4965
    @justme4965 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have a xore fear of not being liked by others. So i am a great chameleon and will adapt to whatever is needed to be accepted