Pronouns: why we should not play along.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 พ.ค. 2024
- For an essay I wrote on this topic see: criticaltherapyantidote.org/2...
Pronouns
NO - give your own
Maybe - abide by others' requests
1st person - I, me, us, we
2nd person - you, y'all, yours
3rd person - he, she, them, it
3rd person pronouns are how people talk about one person to others. Reputation building. When someone asks us to use sex-mismatched pronouns we are not asked to lie TO them, but ABOUT them and FOR them. If we all have to give our pronouns the lie is softened because we enter a game in which we all pretend we forgot the actual meaning of these labels, therefore those who want to switch pronouns don’t stand out.
Harmless neo-etiquette? NO
1. Undermines self confidence and resilience by asserting that one’s self concept is dependent on external validation. Anti- resilience/pro-fragility. Upholds illusion that “misgendering” or otherwise failing to confirm someone’s illusions is abusive and violent.
That the feeling of not having one’s inner self-concept affirmed should hurt so badly is truly unfortunate - ask deeper questions. If some individuals are unhappy enough with their secondary sexual characteristics that they engage in a radical form of self-rejection through a spectrum of cosmetic and medical interventions, AND require consistent affirmation… is pretending not to see the world as it is helping them to become healthier and happier or is it merely an act of codependency which enables dysfunction and fosters fragility?
2 Endorses and encourages narcissistic behavior
Interpersonally exploitative behavior (I am using you as a mirror to reflect the image of myself I wish to see)
Entitlement (you owe it to me to affirm what I say),
Lack of empathy (I don’t care what you really think/feel),
Arrogance (I demand that you bend to my will or I will say you are harming me)
3 Gender Confusion for Kids
Encouraging kids who are uncomfortable with their developing bodies and identities to see their bodies as malleable and to reject their physicality, normalizing a medicalization of puberty.
How to decline when asked?
Say what you think- confrontational
Politeness works:
You can simply decline - I decline to offer pronouns
I have no special requests
Please use what you feel is appropriate
_____________________________________________
To contact me: I am on twitter @JLeslieElliott
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May I ask what you would do if you said "I have no special requests" and someone misgendered you ?
Good question. If the person seemed to be somehow confused but acting on good faith I might ask some clarifying questions or offer a correction. If he or she seemed belligerent, I would probably ignore the "misgendering" because I'm not interested in getting baited into a conflict. I don't think it's healthy to get too worked up over what other people think of me.
Personally, I would say to them “I’m obviously male“ and then await their response.
You correct them, make a joke out of it and crack on with your day, like we’ve always done
@@theradicalcenter Would you care if someone consistently referred to you as "He"?
You presented this topic reasonably and articulately. I agree with your points.
My brother and I just lost both of our jobs at the same time because we would not give in to the pressure of putting our pronouns in our bios. We stood our ground for truth.
That was not a good place of employment in the first place. Greater things are in store for you
You will find a better job in a better place. God bless!
Awesome, you both did the right thing. You will be better because of it.
Surely that is constructive dismissal? I don’t think it’s on employment law that you have to give your pronouns. What a backward looking, cowardly employer you’ve had!
i wonder if their are any laws against political discrimination? maybe talk to a lawyer. Or even gender discrimination since they are forcing you to out your gender identity.
Pronouns are the gateway drug to a larger ideology. Our kindness and politeness is weaponized against us.
Do you believe someone should be allowed to cross dress or use a wallet if female or a purse if male? Should one be banished from the park for that offense?
One day you're wearing a face diaper, and the next day you're injecting an experimental treatment...
@@DorianPaige00 Of course they should be allowed to, but it doesn't mean we need to participate with them.
Yes, the larger ideology being Marxism
So true
You know, I think "I have no special requests" is honestly the PERFECT way to handle it.
Thank you very much for the advice! 🙏
When asked for my pronouns I say “ I have no special requests “and if they push I tell them I have no desire to dictate your speech. Use whatever pronouns you want for me and if they aren’t correct I promise I will not crumble
So you are playing along as if it's even a valid question.
I like your response, especially the 'I will not crumble' - neat way to turn the tables
@@levans3447 just out of curiosity, what would you consider to be an appropriate response to the person who asks what your pronouns are?
@@LadyVioIa I don't know about Levans or anyone else, but I'd laugh my head off and change the subject. "So...how about those Lakers?" 😂
Perfect 10 response!
The pronoun thing is the thin wedge of speech control under the disguise of "politeness." And politeness is a choice, not socially enforced. It's a huge, narcissistic burden to place upon other people, and I will never do it for anyone.
Well said
But to these people who are into the "pronoun game" this is not about simply politeness, but someone not acknowledging their sacred sense of identity. And yes, it is uttermost narcissistic by them to make anyone who don't go along an enemy of them. While we might see it is a politeness to use their "preferred pronouns", it is not to them.
Nice!
@@republitarian484 The people who teach Critical Theory and all of its derivatives talk about language being what is shaping our world view. That is why they want to control language.
If using pronouns is a burden to you that sounds like a skill issue lol.
"There is no swifter route to the corruption of thought than through the corruption.of language." (George Orwell)
Cults use your vocabulary but they don't use your dictionary.
I was asked to share my pronouns at a "training" and I declined. I was ostracized and alienated and targeted at work afterwards, but I do not care. It was disturbing and felt like high school all over again with people trying to force some element of conformity onto me. That was my attitude 7 years ago and it is my attitude now.
Really weird?? In most lefty-spaces declining to say your pronouns is usually a sign that you're in the closet so idk what kind of environment this is but it just seems negative regardless of pronouns
@@NatalleeK sounds like DEI training session.
You sound like someone with a brain and a spine.
It's exactly like a weird high school clique but one that has become very powerful and wants to call all the shots now. And if you don't comply you'll be shunned.
I am offended at the way the LGBTQ community (especially the trans community) is infantilized in society and the thought that they should be protected from being offended in any way in any public space especially in this country with the history of the civil rights movement where blacks were treated with brutality and a daily diet of the N word for wanting to be treated as human beings in the country in which we were born. By comparison, I feel that people who get to tell others what gender they are (even if the evidence is not there) and how they would like their rights to be respected or you will be cancelled are being treated pretty well by comparison to black Americans.
If they control your language, they can control you.
You put this so much more thoughtfully than I could.
That is exactly it. Control of language.
If you love language, and respect the beauty and the power of it, the last thing you want to do is give over the ownership of it - to anyone.
Language needs to be as free as a breath of air.
It is all we really have to organize our thoughts, our minds, our meanings into something we can share in a useful and civilized way.
"I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?" ~ Dave Chappelle
This quote is why I think comedians are essential to a healthy society--the good ones are always astute observers of various aspects of the human condition able to break down complex issues to essentials.
Right on. I don't have to participate in someone's delusion.
why can't we also challenge the things they want to be? giving them an inch is a signal to them to take a mile
It's actually quiet easy: To the extent you do all the time everyday. If a Robert introduces himself as Bob and you still call him Robert you might just be a dick. Why is it different with pronouns?
On a medical form it asked me 4 different ways what my gender & "sex" was. I wrote "vagina" where it asked "sex". This form was so ridiculous I decided to write in big letters over the entire section: "If my body was exhumed and a DNA analysis was done, it would be indisputable that I was a woman. I was born with a female reproductive system and therefore I am female. As indicated, I am a "Mrs" who has birthed 2 children. If you have further questions on this topic, let me know so I can find another doctor".
Federal mandates for these silly questions. Money!!!! Medical funding from government Medicaid and Medicare is 62% of funding
You should have just answered when it asked "Sex" on that paperwork. You should have written 2-3 times a week.. with men" or Women.. whichever you prefer.
I wrote your a doctor I’ll let you figure it out!
Okay, but what if the persons chromosomes don't line up? What if they are hermaphrodites? What if the biochemical process that led to hermaphroditism in some people can manifest itself in a variety of ways, some developing both genitalia or some developing the wrong genitalia. We live in a new world with alot of radiation in the air, chemicals in our foods, the plastics in our bodies, the chemicals from all the burning fossil fuels.
So many different factors are leading to a variety of uh, I don't want to say mutations because it's seen as negative, but that is what is happening.
To treat this whole thing we need to fix how we live. Fix how we farm, how we get around, how we treat our environments.
This isn't going away and thankfully it's only truly affecting 0.02% of the population.
Everyone deserves the right to feel good about or confident in our skin. And everyone should have access and the right to best treatment. For Trans folk it's Gender Affirmation Care.
Nothing else so far has help, no conversion therapy, there's not medication that fixes the mind. Psychotherapy, C.b.t and even D.B.T are not very affect when it goes against how someone identifies In their core.
@@mr.ch4rli3_ we are not talking about those people. We know they exist but they are not the people we mean when this topic is brought up….
I love it when people use their pronouns in their bios. It helps me weed out people I don't want on my team during the hiring process.
Oh thank, you just reminded me of the potential pitfalls when EEOC decides play hardball with this matter...
So y'all are really out here proud of your blatant hatred and discrimination huh 😳 insane that the candidate could be exceptionally qualified for the role but despite all the good they can offer, you obsess over their identity. So embarrassing...
@Bryan Anthony Honestly they just don't want to deal with their crazy. Sane people don't want to deal with pandering to false realities, they want to run a workplace. There is no need to have to function in nontruths in parallel to daily operations. That headache overrides their qualifications and talents. They may be able to competently do a job, but it all becomes irrelevant with the massive distractions of forcing others to bend to the will of their false identity. It's an HR nightmare to have to constantly entertain insanity.
@@90210bryan If you are exceptionally qualified then why are you wasting space on a resume with something that has absolutely nothing to do with the job? It’s unprofessional and broadcasts your expectation that focus being on your “gender” is part of the package in hiring you. Which is wild after how hard we’ve fought for the idea that whether one is a man or women shouldn’t be considered in hiring.
@@90210bryan It's not us who are obsessing over their 'identity'. I'd say the employer is considering the implications for other employees by hiring somebody that self obsessed with an ideological agenda to push. People have gotten fired for this. Workplace legislation is placing a burden on employees to enforce compelled speech, train, or more accurately indoctrinate staff, etc.
I always state that my pronouns are "your royal majesty" and request their use. And usually, no one ever asks me again.
Lol nice one.
I’ve been saying that my pronouns are: “yes sir”, “your majesty” ,and “what can I do for you”.
And my identity is schmaltz herring but, for some unknown reason, the supermarkets refuse to give me a place in the deli section.
My pronouns are mike hunt hurtz in Biden's America😂😂and i must be addressed this way seems like a wasted opportunity😂😂
"I responded to a completely normal question by being a smartass for no reason and made the person I was talking to uncomfortable. I then somehow thought that this was something worth bragging about on the internet because I have zero social awareness and can't recognize that this just makes me look like a weirdo."
I usually stop talking and avoid these people as much as possible. When they ask me for my pronouns, I pretend I don’t understand, then I let them explain it to me. “What are you talking about?” Then I make sure to ridicule them for what ever answer they give me and mock them for bringing up such an absolutely, foolish piece of nonsense. I say things like, “What’s wrong with you? Where did you come up with such useless idea?”
I’m in my 50’s so most of the time they just think that I’m just unaware and I get away with it. But there are some that get insulted and literally start calling me names. But I don’t care. I just laugh because I like me just fine.
You’re thinking to much. If others start to push at requesting pronouns, and I’m pushed to answer, I simply say “No.”
“But we need your pronouns.” I say, unapologetically, “I said No, are you deaf? Mind your own business.” I usually say “Get away from me.” and I might even add the word…”nutjob.” It all depends on my mood. I have zero patience for this nonsense, I have no filter and I could care less about their feelings or their opinion of me. I find the question insulting, so I treat them like they’ve insulted me. That’s the way it should be.
A few years ago, I had to attend a meeting for our downtown association. There were approximately 20 people there, and the President of the board, introduced herself and added, “…and my pronouns are “she, her” WTF?
She went around the room, asking people to introduce themselves and the rest followed suit. But you could tell that they just did it not to cause trouble . At about the 5th person, they didn’t automatically give her their pronouns, so she said, “And your pronouns are….?” ……so the man questioningly responded with, “He, him?” After that, each person would just say, she, her or he, him.
I was about the third to the last to introduce myself, I gave my name and the name of my business. And of course she said, “….and…what are your pronouns?”
“My pronouns? What’s with this pronoun thing anyway? What’s wrong with you people? Do any of you know why you’re even giving her these pronouns?” Silence.
The President said, “Just give us your pronouns so we can move on.”
Lady, if you can’t figure our whether these people are men or women you need new glasses.”
She had made everyone feel uncomfortable and obligated to comply, so when I said that, everyone laughed. It got rid of that awkward tension in the room.
She got all pissy, and asked me again, with authority this time for my pronouns. I told to her to mind her own damn business, and to do her job and stop with this foolish pronoun nonsense. Uncomfortable silence again.
The woman was literally a crazy person, and told me that if I was not willing to participate, that I could leave. I told her, again, to mind her own business, and do her damn job, I’m not giving you these foolish pronouns and I’m not going anywhere, get on with the meeting.
It was really quiet then. Everyone was really uncomfortable.
You’re right, people like her are self righteous and entitled. They think that you must comply or you’re the enemy.
Next she tells me, Either you participate or leave, the meeting will not go forward unless you give us your pronouns or leave!! It’s one or the other!!
I said, “You’re going to be waiting an awfully long time because I’m not giving you any foolish pronouns, and I plan on being the last one to leave.Do your job and get on with the meeting.”
All the while, everyone was sitting in silence. She realized that I wasn’t going anywhere, so ask everyone, “Who thinks that he should leave? Two hags in the front row raised their hands. The rest, silent. But no one else raided their hands.
Sorry, I’m bored and rambling, the meeting carried forward, we accomplished what we came for and left.
As I was leaving she said, “You won’t be attending any further meetings, I’ll see to that.”
My response, “Go feck yourself.” And I left.
The next day, I started getting calls from the other business owners, apologizing for not saying anything the night before. I’ve been there for 20 years, so I was far more respected that she was. She had only been there 2 years. They also told me that she had been calling people wanting them to vote that I could no longer attend these meetings. What actually happened was, my fellow business owner called around, none of them were impressed with what had happened she made them all feel uncomfortable, so they went to the mayor and told him that they wanted to remove “her” (funny how things work) He said that it required a vote to have her removed, and a new president had to be voted in.
Guess who they voted in as president? Me.
The point of my rambling is that people may not be as alone as they think. You can test the waters first, try to figure out who believes what, and if you’re in the majority, systematically find a way to get rid of these toxic people. If you’re out numbered, play along if you have to until you find another job.
I’m not in a position that I can be fired, I’m self employed and I do what I want to. Others might have to make concessions if they’re an employee, because these people are hateful, you really have to watch yourself around them. Find another job opportunity, then quit by telling them to shove their pronouns up their asses. If you’re an employee, do not hire these people, they are far more trouble than they’re worth. Trust me, being nice or “inclusive” is a waste of time, don’t hire them and get rid of these people if you have any, they will make your work environment extremely toxic.
Well, I think I’ve said enough. I tend to ramble when I’m bored.
Be well.
👏👏👏
wtf
i can't believe you were asked directly repeatedly for pronouns. I would even say you were harassed about your personal beliefs publically, if it was any other private subject this is how it would be seen. I am wondering if this was a very progressive type of area, or what? What a mistake to hire that woman
I'm so glad I don't kknow you or have to interact with you.
@@intersexional Me too.
When my professor asked for pronouns for the class, most the class didn’t give them. One girl gave her first name and said “shehim” and the professor asked for her last name… HER LAST NAME WAS SHEHIM! I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING! THAT POOR GIRL!
: )
I hope you take Shehim under your wing.
This is the best story I’ve ever heard about this nonsense. 😆
What a crock. I hope you're not serious.
@@viviannichols3582 Story is the correct word alright.
“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words” - Philip K. Dick.
I am nearly 60 and financially independent, and therefore see it as my moral duty to be openly and explicitly contemptuous towards anyone asking my pronouns.
What are your pronouns
I am an African. A mere 25 years ago, I had such admiration for the accomplishments of many westerners. They had built a functioning world despite all its known flaws and errors. Nowadays I feel mostly pity and sadness for what they have become. A people lost in their own mental illnesses.
As with anything, you can’t state it as being true for everyone any more that you can say all Africans are starving and living off handouts from the developed world.
But yes, the idea of Wokism is an issue that has become prevalent in mainstream thinking, and mainstream media.
Coupled with the current wave of feminism and the idea that everyone is a victim, it isn’t going down a path of empowerment, enlightenment and understanding, it’s creating tension and anger.
Well said. A dieing culture.
You truly know da wae, bruddah.
It's not all Americans. Just the 0.01%. The media chooses to only show you these topics and misguided or water down facts and truths. Absolutely this pride crap has destroyed the American family. But Americans have finally had enough and viewing pride the same as nazi ideology and if these rainbow warriors keep pushing there gonna find themselves in an over the top extreme violence scenario where they can claim genocide and it actually being factual. They chose ped0s over American freedoms and liberties. They pissed off every world religion, they pissed off every single American vet, all 16,000,000 with the display of the pride flag where the American flag was. Don't listen to the American govt as it does not represent the people. We Americans are all for a unipolar world where axis powers do not exist. We are happy to make world friends without political warmongers and dictators. The world has a common enemy that is attacking there religions and beliefs and faiths. This is the ideal time to put our political difference aside and unite against a common evil. One that targets children to become uneducated marxist monsters. Bent on war because nobody with a shred of sanity will listen to them.
Truth
No one ever addresses why a person with gender confusion's right to coerce speech from other people trumps my right to live in reality. I find it traumatic to be forced into saying things I know are not true. This is significant stress. So why is it not considered cruel and and unfair to FORCE me to go along with the pronoun game?
Most people will instantly justify this by talking talking about the self death rate of trans people, but how the hell do they know I'm not self-death fixated myself? It's so hypocritical it makes me sick.
You know the answer to your own questions. They see the world through a narrow ideological lens of oppressed and oppressor classes. That's all there is. Your individual self with your individual suffering is not part of their reality. If in any given context you are considered the oppressor class (by virtue of your skin color, gender/sex, sexual orientation, etc.), you have no say in the matter. All judgement of the situation is given to the oppressed class. And actually that's not true. Because if the oppressed class does not go along with this ideological framing of the situation, an "ally" (aka ideologue) will step in to enforce the situation through that lens. There is literally nothing bad enough that can happen to you through this context that they will not ad/post hoc justify. I've been watch the arguments/discussions devolve in this manner for the past 10 years. And this isn't just about pronouns. There is no truth-claim ridiculous enough nor anti-social behavior demonish enough they won't justify.
Nobody's forcing you to do anything. If you don't like it, remove yourself from the situation and go in spaces that are not accepting. If you think someone's name is Madison and you keep calling them Millie and you are politely told that their name is indeed Madison, all you are doing is being rude.
@@embryson7766 Do people have nervous breakdowns and feel suicidal when called the wrong name?
Their "right" to coerce speech, DOESN'T EXIST. They have no such right.
@@embryson7766 Calling someone Millie when their name is Madison isn’t what’s happening here. We don’t “think” that males are “he/him” and that females are “she/her”. It is grammatically and biologically incorrect to refer to a male as “she” and “her”. We are being told to deny reality and then told we are being disrespectful and rude if we don’t. It is the pinnacle of insanity. What’s more, if any of these people actually passed as the opposite sex, they wouldn’t have to demand this pronoun or that. People automatically say she/her/miss/ma’am when they think the person they’re referring to is female.
I am 61 and I am genuinely insecure about the pronouns. Last year was the first time I was personally confronting with the problem.
I am happy you did this video. You said what I also think, although I wasn’t able to put it in words. Another point: I can imagine people inventing new categories of gender, demanding new pronouns for these categories, complicating the situation even more.
You're also correct about confusing kids. This is the last thing kids need to add to their already difficult times.
It's *intended* to confuse kids. That's why they introduce it in cartoons and tv.
They are trying to brainwash them😞 the next generation will be mental
Children are a lot more resilient than a lot of adults give them credit for. Unless their parents are exceedingly strong in indoctrinating their bigotry into those kids, kids tend to roll with how a person describes themselves.
@@JeshuaSquirrel Resilience has nothing to do with adults indoctrinating children and telling them untruths that effect their lives and rights.
@@Mel-wn9gb What untruths? Kid A has two dads. Kid B wants to use a different name and wear different clothes for a bit, see how it feels. Kid C has a brother who despite hormones and a beard still wants to wear a chest binder.
I was indoctrinated to be a man and straight, and neither of those now. The conversion therapy my parents unwittingly put me through didn't work, though I did think of harming myself a few times, almost tried once. Without hyperbole, something as simple as respecting a teen's chosen name and pronouns could be the difference between that kid reaching their 20s. And you would deny them that respect because why? It makes you feel put upon to call them something different than your assumptions?
As a rule of thumb, whenever you hear the word "identity," you are actually hearing the word "ego." I think it is educational to reflect on the fact that historical religions (Buddhism in particular) encouraged reduction of the ego, while contemporary society encourages the gratification and expansion of it.
The whole spiritual movement is about unpeeling ego.
Well said 😊
Be careful you do not "trigger" any of the snowflakes with the term, "rule of thumb." That term was coined centuries ago and relates to the thickness of a stick you use to beat your wife when she misbehaves. Unless, of course, that was your intention.
Ayn Rand was big on ego.
"Egocentric" is the term I believe.
For over a year I have simply been saying "I use sex based pronouns, not gender based pronouns" and I have had zero push back. I'm also self employed, don't use social media, and am basically immune to any type of blowback - so take my experience with a grain of salt.
That's the best way to address this. "The pronouns I use refer to one's sex, not their gender identity"
@Buster Crabbe That's where the trick happens, Crabbe. They were synonyms. But the cult redefined gender to mean something other than sex, then retconned it backwards. The retconning is the scam. Articulating the scam defeats it. "When I was growing up, when we said 'gender' we all just meant 'sex'. It's fine to redefine gender, but you can't retroactively apply the new definition and demand that I adopt it. We were always segregating bathrooms, sports, and prisons on the basis of sex - we just called it gender. I was always saying 'she and him, sir and ma'am' on the basis of sex, even though we called it gender. Now that these words have separate meanings, let me be very clear. I don't care about gender. I respect your right to express your gender however you'd like, but it doesn't concern me. I think sex is primary over gender, and I only discriminate on the basis of sex - not gender. So please, let me reassure you, that I couldn't possibly misgender you or anyone else - because I don't care about gender, and I only reference sex when I speak". Fighting them over the definition doesn't seem helpful, but pointing out the 'trick' and firmly insisting that you won't go along has been stopping these people dead in their tracks in my experience - and the First Amendment is firmly on our side.
@Buster Crabbe Typically they were synonyms. By definition they were the same thing - gender referring to 'which' sex. Gender was the more precise term for which of the 2 sexes, since sex is a word that can have other meanings or applications. Also, gender has always also been used as a descriptor for those two sexes in reference to differences or characteristics. But today the word 'gender' has been twisted to mean a series of other things.
The propaganda it's being used to support uses it for several tasks. One new 'rule' is that it's supposed to be a term strictly for the stereotypes of the sex-binary (male & female). At the same time, it's also being used for a term to cover the idea of multiple sexes or biologies - which makes it a meaningless term, since there are no more than two sexes, not a multitude.
The gender-inventers wish to say that diverse characteristics and personalities are 'genders'. They don't quite like biology and so they deny it's reality to create brave new definitions to more easily inhabit their fantasies and delusions.
They've forgotten that while humans are always one of two sexes, the correct terms to describe variations in that binary are called 'sexual orientations or sexual identities'. Very importantly, this is called 'sexual-expression'. Sexuality. Not gender.
People can express their 'sexuality' in a variety of ways, but the gender/sex remains the same because that's biology. The gender-inventers have not read that page however and are clueless that others before them have already discovered that there are apparently diverse ways to demonstrate or express sexuality. And whatever those expressions are - it does not invent dozens of sexes. Not even one.
@Buster Crabbe no, they are not.
Indeed, since you are responsible for the words you speak, it should be up to you to pick the words you choose to speak.
5 minutes after I watched your video my manager in NGO I worked in, informed us that we'll have to name our pronouns in chats O.o And thanks to you I was able to raise my voice and said "no". My NGO provides psychological support to teens and young adults, not only but mainly. And we as psychologists, psychotherapists and other mental health workers in the first message after saying "hi" would have to affirm their delusional view of the world and play along... nah... Crazy. Just crazy. Thank you for your voice though! It's so important and refreshing to hear sanity online 😍🤗
The proper response to being asked one's pronouns is, "I live in reality. I have no desire to make up words for myself. I just use correct English."
Love your response. Do you mind if I use that also?
@@ronaldphifer7586 Not at all. 😄
What I do is first say, “Are you sure it’s OK. I mean, I don’t want to impose.” Given encouragement, I say, “Thank you for the freedom to finally express my inner self. My pronoun is “His Sublime Majesty.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have tried "His Majesty." I like yours better.
LOL! I’ve used Her Royal Highness, Goddess Divine and Supreme Mother.
good start--make it longer
I'll just tell them " my pronouns are asshole and bigot. Because when I point out the idiot-city of it all that's what you'll call me anyway."
I refuse to play along with the mental illness known as trans ideology.
I was asked my pronouns at the gynecologist! I just said no, I'm a woman. It was so irritating.
😂😂😂😂😂 I wonder how many trans people would even bother to make an appointment with a gynecologist 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 what is this twilight zone we are living in?
WTF....😂😂😂😂😂😂 we live in sad times.
Was it the doctor or the administration office?
If it was the doctor, I would say "you tell me!"
@@miriamcollins7587 believe it or not they do.
‘What is your name?’ should do it.
"It's not loving to foster fragility" 💯
Thank you for this ❤️ I couldn't have put it better.
I've been explaining that our pronouns don't belong to us. When a person sees a tree, they call it a tree. When a person sees a house, they call it a house. And when a person sees what they perceive to be a man or a woman, they will call them as they see them. How someone else perceives you is none of your business. It's up to you to present yourself the way you wish to be perceived.
You couldn’t have put that better. We’re all becoming so self-centred these days that I think the concept of pronouns has been warped
I agree with @kimberleeoneal. If a person presents as female (regardless of their biological sex), I refer to that person as "she" because it's silly to refer to someone who looks like a woman as "he," and analogously for anyone who presents as male. I refer to anyone whose gender I do not know (for whatever reason) as "they." And that exhausts my repertoire.
@@carolthedabbler2105 How ridiculous to look at a man in a dress and think 'that's a woman because he's wearing a dress'. 🙄 Nobody 'presents female'. You either are female or you aren't. And you'll remain female or male regardless of how each individual you come across personally perceives you.
"Pronouns don't belong to us."
PREACH.
I disagree in that I think you put it rather well. I do like that second last sentence. I see a t-shirt saying HOW I PERCEIVE YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It made me have a thought, 'onus/burden of perception.'
I recently lost my job of nearly 35years for refusing to go along with this, for the very reasons you so articulately expressed. It is compelled speech and it's always wrong! Thank you.
Harassment, in fact. I don’t know where you reside but in Australia that would probably be a case for unfair dismissal on the grounds of bullying and discrimination… it is funny how that last word works both ways, but not funny that you lost your job. I hope you find something better.
Sue them; get a lawyer who will work for a share of the settlement. Take this public; talk shows, online shows. Call this company out by name as loud as you can. Civil rights violation; labor rights violations involve gov't agencies.
Paul Miller you may have a law suit because the company was asking you to, in some cases, share in someone else's delusion and in others out right lie. These could also be a first amendment violation of free speech.
I hope you have an attorney to sue them, that's outrageous, I wish you the best
@@ajkendro3413 Thanks! I have seriously considered it and many of my friends at church have encouraged me to do so. I have considered contacting the Alliance of Defending Freedom to see what my options are.
A good friend is pregnant and started saying "they are kicking" and I said "congrats on TWINS!" and she replied "oh no they are singular, I just want to be politically correct". I had no idea what she was talking about and told her she was making absolutely no sense. Where does this insanity end? I refuse to participate in this game and yes it's narcissistic to gaslight others and tell them they're being crude for not changing their own vocabulary.
Does she know whether they're a boy or girl? I would use they if I didn't know, but "he" is also a good option
@@StrategicGamesEtc I will never use "they". I will use "he/she" OR "it". Period.
@@katierose1893 yeah, I try to avoid it for people I know the correct gender of.
@@StrategicGamesEtc"it" or "the baby" works much better in that situation
Singular "they" has been part of the English language for centuries and is not derived from the gender identity nonsense. It is very useful to have a pronoun that enables reference to someone whose sex you don't know.
A: "Someone came to the door."
B: "What did they want?"
It's much easier to speak like that than to say cumbersome and alien-sounding things like, "What did he or she want?" or, "What did the person want?"
Its sickening and shouldn't be tolerated. I wouldn't play along for one second and I'd quit a job if it were required.
Speaking of fragility, they go straight for "Do this or I'll kill myself," - that's the animating coercion. If you're in a relationship, threatening suicide is an obvious red flag of mental instability.
I had exactly the same situation happen to me in one of my Masters level courses. Where everyone was introducing themselves with their pronouns. I just introduced myself without pronouns and all of the ‘woke’ people in the class decided to ask me. When I replied ‘I am a girl, a woman and you can address me as such. I was told that that was really rude with the teacher even telling me that I was not. It is getting messed up.
Wow! They were rude and hostile. I would think of that as a hostile environment.
"woke" has become the maga of the left. note: i am a leftie/liberal. i find it disturbing that it is only men who can now use the term "woman". we actual women are being erased, reduced to biological functions, at best. now, we are rude for simply pointing out the truth?? well, what about our truth?? does that not matter?? this is all sooooo messed up.
HA! I'm sorry, but that's simply hysterical. Each one in your class (including the teacher) had to pass through a woman's womb and vagina, to deny that you were a woman. 🤣 They just argued that they didn't exist.
So crazy. What state do you go to school in, if you don't mind me asking. I'm in Chicago..
It's really bad in some areas. Like public school in Denver. The people there are really starting to identify as mile "high" with their pronoun aggression.
I’m a gen x’r and the whole pronoun thing has felt wrong in many ways, but haven’t had it explained so succinctly, until now. Well done.
As a Gen X myself, the time I have to spend on this sort of tripe, I could have learned a fifth of another language instead of pronouns.
Now that I know, that is how they work, and I don't care.
I have known how they work longer than I care to say, and I wish they just didn't.
But whatever, it is here now and I'll just ignore it right?
Like the one word, that is de-based of all languages, you can spell it on the Periodic Table of elements.
Br, bromine
U, uranium
H, hydrogen
The one word that should never be said, by anyone who has twice the intellect to breathe.
Your generation raised the generation that started this stuff
I am also a Gen X but didn't raise my kids into insanity. Liberal Gen X parents caused this mess. My kids were raised the same way I was and my kids are also shocked at the level of stupidity of all of this and how bad public schools and colleges are pushing hard to normalize crazy.
@@vincenzobonadonna4556 at least gen x was around to raise its kids.
@@vincenzobonadonna4556 Look you went to school right? Maybe you were homeschooled or in private schools but public schools are government schools. I’m a bit older so you know what they pushed on us? Military enlistment. I’m sure some parents tried to stop it but I’m sure some kids didn’t listen.
"Whoever can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." --Voltaire
Yessss tick tick tick, my core argument against - it’s egotism at its core, lack of self confidence in who you are within your own gender category, and most importantly, it’s a dependency on external validation and teaching people they can change the world to suit them. Dangerous lessons
“I have no special requests” love that answer to the pronoun question.
I like the fact that it also contains a criticism of the person who asks this sort of question - that they are demanding "special requests" or special treatment.
It is awesome and I never even thought of it.
Super answer I'll have to use...
@@reezlaw same!
Don't let anybody tell you what you can and can't say, ever.
When someone calls me a cis female.
''I'm a what?''
''A cis female.''
''A what? I ain't no cis, sis!'' 😆
Pronouns are words that other people use to describe you. To dictate pronouns is to dictate another person's speech.
heck of a point you got there -
like you are arguing against arguing -
do you agree with the nice 'lady' that 'playing this game' with 'these people' is perpetuating a 'lie'?
or maybe you might be dictating their speech?
Exactly. And those dictating would be the first to complain if that was used against them.
Agree! 👏
Yes, it’s “compelled speech”. Not good.
The pronouns you use everyday are dictated by the language you speak and by the society you live in. They are not fixed and vary in time and context. If you're eg a man and you use he/him pronouns then you're already being 'dictated' to. Absolutely no one mandates you speak or write specific words. However, intentionally and persistently using words to hurt others or make transphobic points would rightly get you into trouble because it's unacceptable bigotry.
I work in a public service environment and we have had so many years of politics around languages, cultures, and ethnicity, that pronouns are both "just the latest insanity" but also the easiest to deflect. It came up at a staff meeting, and happily had just blown up in a party political sense in the days prior, so I simply said "it sounds political, we're politically neutral, so need to be careful not to get ahead of public service norms". I also have a strong aversion to any suggestion that language itself is harmful, or hurtful, or violence of some kind. Maybe it's the excellent work by CBT counselors over the years who have instilled in me a strong sense of "thoughts and feelings cannot harm you, let them come, let them go, you will be fine". In public or political discourse, the notion that speech is somehow violence can only have negative outcomes, shut down free speech, have a chilling effect on discourse and interpersonal discussion, and generally create a climate of fear, trepidation, censoring, and affront. That's no way to run a relationship or a family, so how can it be good practice scaled to community or workplace level?
That's it in a nutshell! Excellent comment, thanks!
A very concise, excellent comment. Mind if I copy it so I can put it up on my cork board and read as a daily reminder?
A most intelligent and informed comment! 👍🏻
Well that's all very interesting but the bottom line is do you accept the existence of transgender people?
@@nakedenby all kinds of sin exist…what does that have to do with anything?
when asked what my pronouns are, I answer "I do not believe in compelled speech". if they persist, I answer "I want you to use that phrase 'I do not believe in compelled speech' as my pronoun, each time you refer to me in any way."
Brilliant!
First off, great video! I had this saved in my list and grateful to have watched it. 10:59, I was asked for my pronouns for the very first time about a few weeks ago. I told the woman, "I don't have pronouns." She struggled to have a conversation until in the end I said, "Whatever anyone observes me as." I'm a woman, therefore 99.99% of people refer to me as what they see me as. I don't need to justify what I was born as. Due to her brainwashed upbringing, it triggered her. It almost made it where she didn't know how to have a conversation. I then told her to just let trans people give you their pronouns if they choose, but as a woman I shouldn't be compelled from another biological woman asking me what my pronouns are.
This needs to be said a million more times, by a million more people.
I never thought of this in narcissistic terms. You helped me articulate why I am uncomfortable with this-I am endorsing someone’s fragility. You are very insightful. Thank you.
Narcassism is a serious mental condition and is unrelated to what this person is talking about.
She's saying that a person having agency over their own identity is narcissist. The two concepts just don't fit together. Personally I would use a different word.
@@georgebush3327 That was not my understanding. I believe the point being made is that it is narcissistic to expect (many even demand) others to participate in your fantasy and to become angry when they do not comply. I am of the mind that a person can assume characteristics of being male or female, but that biology is the only true determinant. To use pronouns indicates I subscribe to the idea that one can change their gender, thereby entering into the “fantasy”. Perhaps narcissism isn’t the correct label, but regardless, it doesn’t seem to me these are mentally well people.
@@karenfriesen280 It sounds like you agree narcissistic is the wrong word. And I'll just add that using that word to describe people you don't like makes it more difficult for actual narcissists and the victims of narcissists to recive help.
@@karenfriesen280
"it doesn’t seem to me these are mentally well people." Based on what?
@@georgebush3327 Based on the ever morphing ideology of being a victim. Victimhood itself is not a sign of mental well-being. Based on who we know seeks gender affirming care-an unprecedented number of teenagers fall into categories of depression (which even after years of pharmaceutical intervention like puberty blockers) are not less depressed. Many of these are likely struggling with being gay and believe if they can change their gender they will be in a better place emotionally. Based on a very disproportionate number of autistic children subscribing to trans-ism, as well as children who have a history of sexual abuse. It’s worth reading Abigail Shrier’s book, Irreversible Damage. At the cost of seeming “progressive”, we may be doing untold damage to a whole generation. For these reasons and more, I will not be participating in attempts to reframe language to appease an ideology.
I went back to college in 2016 at age 46 and in one class we had to introduce ourselves including our pronouns. I said mine are it and its. The teacher got pissed and told me to apologize. I refused and demanded an apology from him for not respecting my pronoun choice. I just dropped the class because it was an elective. This whole thing is stupid.
Thank you for this. I attended graduate school in San Francisco. I had no idea the level of social activism that was present especially in the counselling program. I confess I was overwhelmed by the vehemence of it and basically shut down for the time I was there. It was a soul searing experience and I fled as soon as I graduated.
Yes, the feeling you get tells you a lot in these kind of situations.
My ex was born and raised near LA lol. Never again.
Had two girls--survey/opinion takers on some issue or another--come to my door. One girl began by saying, "Hi, I'm ____, my pronouns are Spiff/Arena..." or whatever as she pointed to a rather large button she was wearing. I simply replied "I'm sorry, I don't participate in that type of conversation. What can I do for you?" She saw it was a lost cause and went on with her business. Honestly, at 67 (and toss in Toxic, White, and non-vagina possessing if you need to) I see this as a 1st-World problem brought about by folks having way too much disposable cash, shortened attention spans and most importantly, too much time on their hands. When folks don't have enough to do (think kids w/o chores and jobs), they will begin to draw into Me-Mode and begin inspecting their respective belly buttons for lint. In countries--and yes, I've been in them--where folks have to put in a full day, every day, to keep things going (not necessarily near-starvation hand to mouth), they don't sit around moaning about whether they need a vagina or not to be whatever they decide that day to be. Don't pander to this non-sense. May take some time, but remember what your mother or grandmother told you: ignore them, and they'll go away. Don't be mean, just don't pander.
yea its really a sign of a generation that has no real problems and so they made something to fight, humans need something to fight
I can at least be fine with someone wanting to say their pronouns, but “spiff/arena?” That’s not even how pronouns work.
I have too much fun being mean. It works for me.
@@pesty4592 yeah, that one had me tending to my scalp follicles as well.
Can my pronoun be _purple monkey bathwater_ 😅
This is spot on .
I lost a long-term partner, who is an adolescent/child psychiatrist, because I felt this way and she saw it as hateful and bigoted. I firmly believe that our position is the kind and compassionate one to hold.
You are on the right side of this argument, Heather. Your ex has been captured by this utter nonsense.
You didn’t lose anything.
Sometimes we have to lose people to progress and f Flourish in our lives. I lost a few old college friends who considered me far right when I was simply being traditional and conservative and speaking out for common sense. No loss just more open doors to people I enjoy being with and more doors opening to live the life I believe in and feel instinctively connected with.
Your only identity is found in Christ.
I lost a 10-year friendship over this. Was called every name under the sun and told that my bigotry disgusted him. College totally changed this person and warped his mind.
The issue with saying "I have no special requests" or just declining pronouns, is that you are at risk of people calling you a "they". This has been happening to me more and more. People are so scared to "misgender" that they just put everyone that have no pronouns listed as "they". I had to gather the courage to ask people to treat me as "she" because I am a woman. Never mentioned this part but I take offence to being called a "they" and I don't want to state my pronouns as anyone that hears me or looks at me can clearly see that I am a woman.
This!!
I think you could possibly sidestep it and shut it down by saying "I am a woman", even the pronoun police might understand that it means "You know what I am, let's just this charade."
@@blossom357 I will try that! Thank you both for commenting, it is a happy feeling to see I'm not the only one. Currently feeling very isolated at work because of these stupid politics. You two made me feel better
If anybody calls you a "they", ask them if they are trying to fatshame you (whether or not you may be overweight) because you are only ONE person.
this semi-sarcastic question including the word fatshame will resonate with any 'overly modern' person. We can be polite to each other without having to lick the woke movement's arse.
It is disrespectful to use pronouns to refer to people. My father said so!!! Believe me, he had this world figured out. Now he is busy in heaven.
I got asked to put mine in my email footer so I put it/that. They tried to discipline me for making fun so I complained to HR and my manager had to apologise to me.
I am going to do an interview tomorrow. I received their invitation identifying their pronouns and a request for mine. My old generation never had to face this. There is now additional anxiety, exhaustion and underlying anger for me during an interview because you have to choose between getting a job or playing a game with youth who have no wisdom, no values and no respect for others. A job interview should be just that. A job.
Additional anxiety for the other person, that's a good way to put it: because these people won't face their inner fragility, they transfer it all to you and put the onus on you; if you don't validate them, you're a horrible person, etc.
Im currently at war with my sons school.
Hes 13, a third party, non disclosed organisation came to his school, divided the boys and girls and forced them all to individually stand up and state their pronouns.
My son had no clue what they were on about, he said they humilated him and he felt they were bullying everyone.
It's a sign of good parenting that your son feels comfortable communicating his feelings. I wouldn't let something like that go unchallenged with the school. It clearly sounds ideological.
This whole practice - and especially to children - is a profound invasion of privacy!
Get the parents together and don’t give in. Find out who brought in this organization and get their resignation. Soon, if not already, they’ll be tr@nsing your kids and teaching them critic@l r@ce theory.
My 14 year old replies “he/haw.” If my children are asked ridiculous questions I allow them to give ridiculous answers. I tell him if he ever receives blowback for it have them contact me.
@@windycityliz7711 th-cam.com/video/Aviyl1eiC1s/w-d-xo.html
I put my name pronoun as IT/group. I havent had anyone say anything to me about it for a year since I have worn it.
You bring up some really basic points that I hadn't thought about in relation to pronouns. Since you would only use third person pronouns when talking to someone other than that person, then what they are really doing is telling you how you should talk about them. The truly polite thing to do is to tell them it's none of *their* business how you talk about them to other people. Looked at this way, it's really a control issue, trying to control how other people speak.
Yeah, I’m going to need this video to become an official PSA because you hit the nail on the head in a way that is both informative and kind. A lot of people tend to get angry when talking about this topic and it comes off as combative and divisive. That’s not present here. This was a perfect breakdown of facts that people should really be taking to heart if society is going to move forward from this. There’s a major mental health problem in the West and instead of addressing it, it’s being condoned and promoted. Sad times.
So true
Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders writ large and supported by those delighted to use them for their larger purposes.
The world's first tranny and homosexual clinic and sex shop was established in Berlin in 1919 by Magnus Hirschfeld.
"We Jews, we, the destroyers, will remain the destroyers for ever. Nothing that you will do will meet our needs and demands. We will for ever destroy because we need a world of our own, a God-world, which it is not in your nature to build." -- Maurice Samuels in 'You Gentiles', 1942, p. 155
It’s so easy to get angry with this pronoun b.s. as we all know it’s just the thin end of the wedge. But Leslie is right, the best response is just to politely decline to participate. “I have no special requests, thank you”, delivered with a gentle smile, is the perfect response.
I find myself twisting myself into a pretzel trying to avoid pronouns altogether now, calling trans or "non-binary " only by their names in all situations.
I make a point in ANY situation of disregarding them altogether. I do not play along with this shit under any circumstances.
I've been threatened with my job three times now and couldn't give a damn.
@@ScriptorsilentumYep. More people need to stand up against this instead of weakly straddling the fence.
Well it’s hard to tell what they are at this point 😮
Noncompliance and civil disobedience is the only way to approach this nonsense. 😂
I do also. I will say this person or that customer but will not say pronouns because I will not give them the win.
I noticed the only thing I like is when during business emailing you find the pronouns in the signature. I find it cringe and I would never do it, but since there are often foreign names of some staff, where I don't know what kinda gender that name implies, I am happy to see it written so I can correctly address them.
100%. It's not my responsibility/obligation to remember one's preferred pronouns if they differ from what is visually obvious.
I have had this talk with my 11 year old daughter. I said she doesn’t ever need to answer that question “what are your pronouns” nor does she ever need to pretend that men can become women or vice versa. We have these talks periodically because being in public school, even though our State is a red state, because of the culture wars I know she will come up against it at some point.
...and trans people are accused of indoctrination?
There is a "Good Parenting" award for you somewhere. 🙂
Preparing kids for the outside world and all its insanity and danger - no matter how uncomfortable or awkward it is - is paramount.
Done the same thing with my daughter. She attends public school in a red state as well.
That’s excellent. My cousin has two daughters and they’re both elementary school age. I worry so much for them because the schools have gotten so sneaky about it.
That's excellent. My mom always did the same with us. Talk to us about issues and the world so we are more prepared and informed about how to navigate it all. I've always been grateful that she did this with us. All parents need to do this with their children. Never stop open discussion with your kids.
I actually appreciate it when people include their pronouns in their introductions - it's helped me to avoid having further communication with the type of person that would introduce themselves with pronouns, rather than just their given name. Trust me, the technique is foolproof.
Fortunately the woke tend to be like toxic neon colored rain forest frogs, easy to spot in the wild and avoid. Neon hair, tackle box faces, hideous eyeglasses, indifferent grooming and hygiene, all dead giveaways.
Filter them finicky fuckers out from the first face to face. Next!
I have heard employers are sing it as a way to eliminate applicants
"would introduce himself or herself""
BOYCOTT....WHAT A LOVELY IDEA. THIS INSANITY MUST BE SHUT DOWN...SHOT DOWN.
Thanks for the wonderful video. I can be brusque, candid and sometimes verbally confrontational/combative when defending what I believe to be true; your pointers in staying polite when refusing to give in to a neo caste system will definitely be helpful.
Thanks for this. I work in an art gallery, which, as you can probably imagine, is fast becoming an ideological hotbed, and I've been dreading having to play the pronoun game. Now I have some polite alternatives in order to opt out when the situation arises. Great video, thanks again for sharing.
Great talk. So clear and concise. In 1988 ,35 years ago I was hit over the head with a heavy glass ashtray in a bar by a transvestite. The trans introduced itself to me with a female name and I said "Hi Michael" in defiance because instinctively It felt wrong to go along with the charade and I was not approaching the trans and felt forced to comply to some weird mind control spell, and I was only interested in real women there. I was rude for sure (and drinking), but honesty is still better than make-believe forced interactions. I'm not stopping people being trans. I just choose not to associate with them- now more than ever...... I still can't stand being forced to do the pronoun thing for the exact 3 reasons you mentioned, being the validator, being submissive to the narcissist, and not wanting to hurt feelings which just reinforces fragility.
Be truthful only. No buying into the lies and delusions. Just honesty.
Wow. You really were just rude to a person and was okay with it because your ego is so massive that you think you have authority over other people's choices!
For what it’s worth, I’ve noticed a decline over the past few years in playing this game. I work for a large tech company, and I’ve observed people have quietly had it. We’ve never been (officially) pressured to state pronouns, but those who care to often do loud and proud, as we’ve all witnessed. But a solid half of people don’t even go there. And I’m one of them.
Thank you for being brave enough to talk about this.
Good for you.
I teach German as a foreign language to foreign tech company employees, and this woke stuff invariably comes up at some point or other, and not a single one of my several hundreds or maybe thousands of students has ever expressed a voluntary preference for stating pronouns etc. When asked directly, in a small group, or one on one, and it's made clear that they are allowed to be truthful, practically 100% of them turn out to be secretly nonwoke, and just perfectly based.
People have definitely had it and it’s about to boil over.
Yes I’m often in very large zoom conferences and now only see maybe one out of one hundred doing the pronoun thing. I’m hoping this will be a 5hing of the last like pet rocks in the 1970s.
I’m seeing more an more people, regardless of political belief, become more vocal against this stuff and it’s so refreshing. I was never on board with this stuff and the people who push it can be so insufferable that I’ve never felt like it was the right thing to do. I’ve suffered with mental illness and have dealt with other people with mental illness since my teens (I’m now approaching 30) and I’m well aware that you don’t feed delusions in someone who is unstable or throwing a tantrum. It only makes them fall deeper into the delusion.
I have literal tolerance for this nonsense and when asked about it I said that "Thou" was my pronoun and "Your Majesty" the preferred form of address. When they tried to "No really" me I told them that it is much more reasonable to turn a commoner into royalty than to try altering biology. Royalty really IS a "social construct" and so it is much more logical to try to alter that than to PRETEND that one's chromosomes can be exchanged at the nearest pharmacy.
They stopped asking me after that.
Love this idea!
This channel is the best takedown of SJW culture on TH-cam. I'd argue these arguments are more logical and well-spoken than even Jordan Peterson's and certainly better than the conservative clickbaiters. This is very good and important work, Ms. Elliot. Keep it up.
I am a pediatrician/adolescent physician of over 45 years, dealing w mental health in this population. Your summary of your approach is excellent. Always accept others, and what I do say: “I respect you and expect the same respect in return to honor my feelings (this is dealing w feelings and emotions not scientific reality), I have no pronoun and do not use them in others because I am uncomfortable doing so, thank you.”
all emotions
You have no pronoun? Lmao. Are you a genderless being? Do we just not address you.. by anything?
As a fellow medic of similar years, I respect your discomfort and your passive neutral approach in avoiding the use of any pronoun. I personally don't have an issue with addressing people how they prefer but I don't understand why those who object don't follow your very reasonable example. There's no essential need to use either pronouns or prefixes.
The problems are all created by a tiny minority of arrogant personalities who insist on maliciously using a non-preferred pronoun to make some silly political point or make themselves feel better when this is entirely unnecessary. Their intent is to be spiteful and cause offence even if the recipient isn't actually that bothered. It's at best disingenuous of these objectors to claim they are criticised for 'using the wrong pronoun'.
No one should be forced to display their own pronouns or prefixes and I've never encountered this in any field. I doubt the veracity of these stories. Conversely I know of several verified cases of people being prohibited from quoting their preferred pronouns.
Respect is earned, not given. If people reject reason and rational thought, they are not worthy of respect.
@@TheAstilesus Don't know what planet you inhabit but no, respect does not need to be 'earned' by anyone. You're just repeating a silly cliche. Respect is a fundamental entitlement. Are you saying ppl who reject YOUR reason are not worthy? That's a very insular and arrogant position. Transphobia isn't rational but transphobic people still deserve respect.
I wonder if they realize how offensive and hurtful it is, to be a biological female and have someone ask “what are your pronouns?”
As a biological female my knee jerk response is: “I’m a girl.” My secondary reaction is, “you can’t tell?” That’s hurtful and creates distress in me; the fact that someone has to confirm my gender rather than simply knowing. It makes me wonder, “Do I look like a man? Am I masculine in some way?” I don’t believe I do or am, but having someone ask that question triggers those thoughts.
Additionally, I could make the argument for harassment, because asking someone their pronouns is essentially asking them to identify their gen-itals. “Tell me right now what gen-itals you have under your clothes!” I will not; I absolutely refuse to. Nature gave you all the clues you need (voice, height, facial structure, bre-asts, hips, hands, feet) to tell you what I am. I will not self-identify to satisfy your delusion.
Excellent points
Wow! That's exactly how I feel!
Could be worse, you could've been forced to fill em out on your medical form.
No such thing as a 'biological female' because you are implying there are 'non-biological' females (hence why you need the qualifier)...which is the premise of the very same ideology you claim to be opposed to.
Also consider this, your term 'biological woman' is awfully similar to THEIR term 'cis woman' - they've already got you to accept their speech as you scream that you are against compelled speech.
This articulates the feminine issue with pronouns quite well. It is a serious undermining of your self image and it is intentional.
It's tough, but I think being polite is just delaying the inevitable. Yes, you may "get out" of an uncomfortable situation but the next one is right around the corner. State your beliefs, stand your ground, and take what comes. Your enemies will respect (perhaps fear) you and silent allies may work up the courage to do the same.
Your video is so wonderful, thank you so much for making it. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to feel sane in an increasingly insane world. We must stand up against it all. ❤
I used to think as you regarding using other people’s preferred pronouns when addressing them. However, it always gave me an uneasy feeling. I realized that the unease came from being persuaded to lie. Transgender women are men disguised as women, no matter how convincing the disguise. The same holds true for transgender men in the same logic. I realized I was being forced to admire “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. I will not be shamed/forced into participating in someone else’s fantasy.
I love your response. And I often think that if the current time we find ourselves in needed a title, it would indeed be "The Emperor's New Clothes."
“Transgender women are men in disguise”? Wow. Just… wow. I’m so glad I’m not on your level, dude.
@@eleegee I am sure you believe all this unscientific nonsense. It must be comforting to be so gullible.
@@eleegee and I’m glad he’s not on your level
@@BlackRoses1666661 thanks 🥰
Thank you. Whenever I run into this issue going forward, I may just send them a link to your video. The first time I agreed to take a business related survey and they asked "what gender do you most identify with", I declined to take the survey. And told the person (who I respected for their business abilities) why. She responded, "what it is about that question that you find objectionable?" and I replied that is has no basis in reality. That was the end of that discussion. Around that time, LinkedIn repeatedly asked me to add my pronouns (which I ignored). Now I avoid engaging with people who have pronouns on their profiles anywhere. And when someone appears in a Twitter chat who has pronouns on their bio, I don't follow them as I usually would. As this video clearly explains, it is not healthy for other or us to support this agenda.
Yes that is perfect!
Wow. I experience you as so brave and centered and loving to speak these truths. I have just gone silent when confronted with these issues, and your voice is giving me courage to even just think my own thoughts about it all. Thank you.
To use somebody’s pronouns is exactly like agreeing with a schizophrenic that the radio is talking directly to them. Manson thought the Beatle’s music was talking to him and I never heard anyone affirm that.
clearly you are terrible at telling what gender someone is
Thank you!! I refuse to go along with someone's fantasy view of themselves. I call 'em as I see 'em. I think it just makes them believe even more strongly in their fantasy. It's sick & I don't understand why society is demanding we play along instead of helping them!!
I refuse to offer pronouns - I am a biological female. I have no confusion over my gender or biological sex. I love the ”I have no special requests” answer - but I fear my facial expression when asked for pronouns will give my game away (hint: looks affronted, wide-eyed astonished, and probably laughs). Love this explanation… thank you for your clarity. Xxx
Oh, yes, do try not to laugh, like this one kid who was banned from a card game tournament because he nervously laughed when someone suddenly asked _his_ pronouns out of nowhere.
Lol. Can be hard to hide facial expressions at times.
You’re nicer than I am. My facial expressions would give my game away by saying hint: you’re a f***ing idiot!
@@GURGLEGUY12345 In 1984, those were called “facecrimes”
Real men and women do not need to give pronouns, all of history we didn't need them.
I have been quiet confused and unsettled by this topic. Thank you so much for this well thought out explanation ❤
Insane it's come to this, last week I had my first encounter with an individual which was clearly Not trans and a narcissist that stated their pronouns, suddenly the next 3 people did the same, got to me, I just said my name and waited for the next person to continue, they didn't. Awkward silence followed. I was asking myself how was I suppose to handle this, what else can you say to make it obvious you were done, please continue. Thanks for the advice.
I was asked at my last job to put my pronouns in my email and on my business card. I told them it was unnecessary because I do not have a pronoun preference. They took it better than expected, but I was quickly targeted by certain people and it eventually ended in my resignation in lieu of termination due to "causing disharmony in the work environment". No lie, that was an actual clause in our company handbook that I did not even know existed until I was pointed to it.
But the situation began with someone asking you to declare your preferred pronouns, so it was ultimately that person who caused the disharmony.
if i was asked to do that, i would just tell them "sure, i'll get right on that" and promptly forget about it.
then, when they would invariably check up on it, i would just say something along the lines of "you must have gotten the old one"
and of course, the whole time i would be looking for a new, non-toxic workplace 🙂
@@peterschimmell3557I'd say "male". If they didn't want to accept that, I'd just play dumb as if I had no idea what they were talking about.
What are your pronouns?
Male.
No, I mean what pronouns do you want people to use?
Robert, or just Rob.
No, pronouns, such as he, she, they, etc.
Oh... I'm male.
why would you resign. That was a perfect reason for you to turn into an a-hole to all the people giving you sh*t. Instead of you being miserable, you can make everyone else around you miserable and then collect the unemployment package that I'm sure they denied you of.
When I see people like yourself who share reality so articulately , it's like chicken soup for the soul , for me
Common sense is so rare.....the truth is rare.......people who dont follow is rare these days
HER articulation was spot on! Couldn't agree more. I am astounded by how reality is being gaslit for these confused individuals 😢😢
In this day and age, yes
DELUSIONAL much 😂
Articulate 😂😂😂😂
I once said they/them to a classmate simply because they were on my project group and i was afraid they'd get me thrown out if i didnt go along. I regret not standing my ground
I'm with this. I'm kind of more okay with hurting and confronting people if that means the wake up call and reality check happens sooner and provides expedition to a healthier mentality.
The scary part is under this "Identity politics" they are not interested in you and your name, only that you comply
I’ve seen some one apologize for referring to a colleague In the 3rd person “she”. Another person who over heard came up and said “that” person prefers “they/them”. Never apologize. Such an awkward situation because the two of them had just spoke and had a healthy conversation/relationship. Never give your power away and apologize for something you could have never of known.
They them it thing should be told to grow up and stop attention seeking and trying to scramble some pathetic straw clutch of self importance. They usually have £&@# all else going on in their lives. These silly people are Pythonesque and don’t deserve an ounce of attention. Your a woman your a she your a man your a he. It’s very clear just how God created us.
just call them "it"
If the voice sounds like a dude's, I use he, if the voice sounds like a chick's, I use she. Kind of like if a bird quacks, I use duck, and if a bird goes hoo, I use owl. Bathrooms are a bit more complex, but if you're at a urinal standing up next to me, Ima call you a he. Don't know how the ladies do it on their side.
The overhearer is a "Karen" for butting in. The actual person asking to be called by "they/them" is never present to hear the speech anyway. Only in writing would the person notice.
never HAVE known
not 'never of known'
Now, apologise for not listening in English class.
At one point you said I am pretending to be someone I'm not. On the contrary, for the 35 years I tried to be a man as my family and friends expected, I was constantly stressed, trying to force myself into a shape I didnt fit. When I found the vocabulary to deacribe how I had felt all my life and the courage to be my nonbinary self, it was as a weight slid off my shoulders. My personhood is not this body. Anatomy and gender identity are separate aspects. My body may have a male form, but my person has no gender; I'm just me.
Yeah, it's called being human. What makes you think you're any different from anyone else? The language you discovered to make sense of your feelings only reinforces and legitimizes the entire problem, ie. 'gender'. Not only is it a self own for you, but it harms everyone else too.
@@Mel-wn9gb you've failed to explain how recognizing I don't fit into any of the social models of who a man or woman is supposed to be is a "self own". Unless you mean owning my life and no longer letting others dictate it.
Are you under some impression the concept of more than two genders is only a few years old? Medicine and psychiatry have recognized sex and gender as different aspects of your person since about the mid 20th century. Sex is your anatomy. Your gender identity is internal to you, how you see yourself, and that develops about age 3-6 with that structure in the brain at which point it is generally seen as immutable. Your gender or gender presentation is how you interact with your community.
The first gender affirming surgery was done in Berlin in 1930. The doctor who developed the technique to diagnose tuberculosis with X-rays about the same time was a trans man. There was a transgender support group in Italy in the late 19th century. Pacific Island cultures have a long history of recognizing and honoring a third gender. The earliest record of a community of nonbinary folks was in India around 300 BCE.
The idea of there only being man and woman that always corresponds to your anatomy is an artifact of Christian colonialism.
Are you absolutely certain I and the others in the trans community are wrong? Or just maybe the human experience is quite a bit more complicated than a ninth grade biology textbook.
@@JeshuaSquirrel It's a self own because you bought into the very system that oppresses you. Instead of rejecting the notion that men and women have to fit into a restrictive, limiting, oppressive social model - as girls, women, gays and lesbians have been doing for hundreds of years - you bought into it hook, line and sinker and reasoned that you must just be some other 'gender', or that you need to 'fix' yourself with hormones and surgery so that you 'fit'. Thereby upholding the entire shitty system. Well done. 👍
this is why when someone tells me their name I immediately disregard it and use the name I make up for them
for instance the other day I met a dude named Jack but Ive decided to call him "Fox-dawg'
I refuse to play fox dawg's mind games!
The second you start playing along is the second they think they have more power over you. Then they’ll ask you for more and more.
💯!
They’ll be asking for your sexuality next
That's the whole point of all of this nonsense. Power. It's not that they are against power structures, it's that they're against power structures where they are not in control.
You mean like religions??
Give a blue hair a gender an they'll want a glass of milk
The biggest thing for me is how pretentious the whole pronoun thing is. There seems to be an a attitude of such self importance that they insist everyone acknowledge their special characteristics.
Exactly....it all seems very narcissistic and controlling. I'm NOT doing it for anyone.
So true
And to top it off, it’s in third-person English - they’re reaching into some other conversation.
How about a little consent here?
And such people have always LECTURED ME on "consent."
SCUM.
@@natureloversadventures7335 I actually have family members, through marriage, that tried to insist that everyone do pronouns before thanksgiving dinner. Goodness. I had to mock her mercilessly the entire dinner. My brother was fucking pissed at me, I don’t care anymore. His wife has been a pain in everyone’s ass ever since he introduced us all to her. Imagine calling all conservatives bigots before you really even know the people around you. My whole family are conservatives and despise socialism. She’s a commie.
I’ve been waiting to use “This/That” and say I identify as a place.
wow. this is so clear and succinct and thank you so much for making this video essay.
Oh my. So well put. It always felt narcissistic to me as well. I always thought bratty.. forcing someone to do something they don't think they should by shaming them, its just so manipulative and something a child would do. Thank you for putting so well and clarifying all the different aspects of how this affects society/children
It strikes me as bad English.
I agree, it's manipulative and childish. I hadn't realised that, but you are right, it's coercing others to go against their natural thoughts. I also absolutely hate the logical error regarding singular and plural.
@@KenJackson_US the liberal socialists that creates this mess in the last decade, but he is more worried about grammar. Zero effort mediocrity.
I mean, I would argue that refusing to call someone by their preferred pronouns for no reason than just to be an asshole is brattier. Whether you “agree” with it or not has no effect on your ability to give basic respect
@@ericrawson2909Wait, what error? “They” is used in both singular and plural terms, right?
When asked for pronouns for name tags for our organization when we were attending a larger organization meeting(we don't support the use of alternate pronouns) I sent an email to the requester saying we use normal pronouns. We discussed declining to have pronouns on the name badges, but there wasn't unanimous consent on that with some who feared being ostracized. Interesting to note when we returned, three of the four who were fearful, came to me individually to admit that they wished they hadn't voted to participate. Even though the pronouns on their badges were "normal" they were embarrassed with one telling me she actually felt shame for allowing herself to be bullied. Do what you can. Build your confidence. Use tools like this video to provide appropriate and fact-based talking points. Baby steps. But if we all try, we will get there.
Thank you for speaking to thoughtfully on this subject. So many videos on both sides of argument are so intense. Last year at work my department had a zoom meeting and the host had us take turns introducing ourselves, saying what team we were on, how long weve been with company and what our pronouns were. I wanted to be defiant but knowing it would be met with hostility i just pretended i forgot the last part of the question and said nothing about pronouns. I had it in my head already decided i bwasnt going to cave but would simply say I dont use them or soemething to that effect. As much as wanted to say what an insulting and stupid gesture ghisbwas especially considering we all already knew each other and our genders i also didnt feel confident in being combative. In my field i already feel outnumbered being a straight white male, add conservative christian to that mix, and my declining to participate in cv jab i feel like i have 2 and a half stikes against me already. Anyway, thanks for tackling this!
I am happy to have found this video! I like having pronouns in email signatures because I work with people from multiple countries and cultures who I never actually meet at all - just email communication, so it's really useful there when I literally have no idea what gender that person may be. I don't like having to share mine in verbal conversations though as I work hard already to be more feminine (I'm a very masculine woman and am insecure about it still), so it makes me really uncomfortable to have to share my pronouns in those situations.
A need for external validation and narcissism, that’s the problem in a nutshell. Well done putting what we’re all feeling into words.
Not too long ago I did an interview for a job at a library and the interviewers introduced themselves with their pronouns. All of them were normal from what I could tell so presumably it was just to make trans applicants feel more welcomed, but it had the opposite effect of making me uncomfortable. When the questions presented were more interested in my history of inclusivity than my skills, I knew it was a lost cause.
Oh, ok, I'll just call you by the wrong pronouns and everyone else will also call you by the wrong pronouns. But you don't need external validation, do you? Or are you a narcissist?
I'm so happy someone said this. "Letting people be happy" shouldn't result in making a nation of liars and narcissists.
So your talking about religion, right ?
@timelord7340 no one said anything about religion. I'm referring the subject in the video
@@joeyfajardo8738 I follow their logic. What if I think your religion is a lie?
@jeffreygordon7194 That's your right, and I won't try to prove you wrong.
But I won't try to get you fired or doxxed on social media for saying so.
@@joeyfajardo8738 You can't prove me wrong because your god doesn't exist.
In terms of content, this video is spot on. Refusing to comply with someone else's preference without consideration or respect for own's feelings or beliefs is no more "confrontational" than having vanilla ice cream for dessert (or not having ice cream at all) when I insist that everyone eat chocolate.
This nonsense has to stop. Referring to a biological male as "she" in conversations where that person is not a participant does not make that person any more female. It may work that way in the fantasy world you live in, but it doesn't work that way in the reality that the rest of us live in.
I tell people that ask me my pronouns to refer to me as " your highness" or " your excellency" depending on my mood. If you can pretend to be a "they" then I can pretend to be royalty.