I am an SE as well, I work at Shopify and I code everyday, I work hard and give my best and I wouldn't say I hate coding but outside of my working hours I don't want anything to do with coding. I want to enjoy my wife, my dog, friends and my other hobbies. I think you nailed it, work can be just work, it's okay. Thanks for sharing!
I despised coding in university because the grades mattered the most and not learning. But then I fell in love with coding after working on some cool projects/tech stacks for my job. Now that I have a good amount of work experience, it's a mixed-bag because I really want to do and learn more outside of work but doing so now becomes tiresome. I wish I could just code for fun without having to worry about the bills 😂
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Yeah.. learning a new framework because you suddenly need it for your work due to decisions of management or team-leads should be paid time.
Great video! Being in the unique position of a programmer AND a programming content creator is something that can be draining REALLY fast. After my job as a programmer, I would go on TH-cam, TikTok, whatever to do something new but now because thats also my job, it's like it's consumed every aspect of my life. I relate to the different hobbies aspect that you mentioned. I think learning video editing, 3d modelling and other things has allowed me to create an outlet for creativity in what might seem like a job to most. Being in the "box" of programming content also has allowed me too to think creatively on how to explain things differently. Awesome video! Something that should be discussed more.
Of all the content you’ve made, this has honestly felt the most enjoyable to watch. Not even because of what you’re talking about, it just feels natural and engaging and not forced. If there’s a subject you’re truly passionate about (animation, UI, anything) then those will always be your best videos, and you’ll grow an audience that shares those interests.
I think I just had a profound enlightenment. I just dont like coding. All these 3 to 4 yrs or from childhood I used to think I love coding and now be miserable why I am not like those linkedin people who can code Google in a day. But I dont like coding. Thats why I am not focused or like code in my off-time. I am in it for money. I like travelling, interacting with animals, cooking, watching TV shows but I dont like coding. Man I feel so light now. I dont have to be good in it. Just be enough to climb the ladder to make more money. Fuck it feels like cheat code to my hugely miserable life. I subbed thanks for this.
I just wanted to say I really like your channel. I enjoy your sense of humor. I like how you incorporate your love of art in code and creativity. Keep up the good work. I subscribed.
No bro, no. Do not work in jobs you hate every second. The longest I can code is 3 hours max before my brain shuts off. Most devs that love coding to the poi t of 16+ are on the spectrum. So if your not don't even try to be that hyper focused.
The topics in the code influencer space are mostly pointless and hyperbolic for the sake of clicks. Many of the opinions expressed are only to chase view counts. Furthermore, some people are actively projecting confidence to hide the fact that they too feel like an imposter. As a programmer myself-- & I also don't love coding. I love making things that impact the world. I code because it gives me the freedom to build cool things I want to see in the world. The code itself is secondary or even tertiary.
I love that, " I code because it gives me the freedom to build cool things I want to see in the world". I miss building cool things, going to try and get back into that.
I graduated from med school last year (forced by parents), currently in an internship. I recently realized the same thing about being a doctor - I just don't like it, at all. Every job comes with its difficulties (toxic environment, high expectations, tons of paperwork), but I could never see the point of enduring them, which made me HATE classes and now the job itself. That's why I decided to change careers. I'll finish the internship to get my license just in case, but the moment I come home I sit down and code for a couple of hours. It's so much fun! There are of course days when I'm not so enthusiastic, but I just can't process the fact that I actually enjoy watching lectures and doing assignments. I had always hated studying and seriously thought there was something wrong with me. Changing careers is daunting, but it's worth it in the long run. I can't imagine doing something I hate for over 40 years.
i understand you, i feel like that very often as well as a SE. i started feeling a lot better when i just deleted all the influencer social networks like insta, twitter, facebook as well. The only place i get exposed to this unrealistic influencer shit is youtube, but i force the algorithm to pick better videos for me, but blocking annoying channels and so on. This is how i found you and it s awesome!! Thank you for this video!!
I have been a software engineer for past 8 years and I have never related more to someone. Thanks for sharing how you feel girl. I feel the same and it sucks that I am a senior developer now but I genuinely don't care about coding discussions that my coworkers often do. It makes me hate my job even more and make me feel like I am in the wrong career
@@RLleeo Because money doesn't bring happiness. If you don't feel connected to people around you, the paystubs don't magically make that feeling go away
Anyone who genuinely enjoys writing code is either a) a dysfunctional freak who lives and breathes code or b) a liar. And I can say that quite confidently having worked as a software engineer. I get excited about code and then think "Ehh why am I doing this" after about 2-3 lines or so. It feels like I no longer have the ability to just _think_ and to solve problems, much of the time my brain feels like a lump of concrete and I either miss things that should be obvious, or overthink and overengineer things, or am totally deficient at stuff I was doing for years with aplomb. Either burnout, AD(H)D, or some kind of other mental break, I think. Should probably get it checked out.
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about this! The more I talk to software engineers the more I hear how everyone feels like an imposter at some point in their life. I appreciate that this video shows this from a female perspective as well. As women we can be so hard on ourselves and feel like the odd ones out when we don't fit the norm, and videos like yours show that it is okay and normal to have these feelings and that you're not alone! ❤
Because she doesn't really understand how the computer works, like how the cpu cores work, what the assembly instructions ,that get generated in the end ,actually tell the cpu to do, how does data live in memory, what caches are, etc. And it's not her fault. Stuff like html and css specs were made by complete morons in the 90's. Not to mention better ml's existed BACK THEN. Most web programmers are a bit delusional and tend to discuss things that are completely detached from what the computer actually is capable of doing, which is also not helping because thats what newcomers to programming are bombarded with when they wish to learn more about programming. I can tell you right now, low level/ embedded systems programmers don't feel like imposters because the systems they work on and the tools they use, are something that those programmers know intimately well, and that's because those systems and tools (like the C language for example) were very thoroughly thought out and in order to for a programmer to get something to work at all, they had to learn about the actual physical part that would be doing the work.
I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I can't tell you how many TH-camrs I've heard say the same exact thing about their topic or profession. Burn out seems to be inevitable. It's one reason I keep changing what my interest is.
Full Stack Engineer here. Started programming in 1982. It does suck when you're really good at something you hate. Been doing it longer than I care to remember but it does pay the bills.
I totally get what you were saying about the information going in and then straight back out and not being able to remember it, I take a while to fully understand something that might take others a day since I learn about something then switch the next day for some reason, then try go back and theres nothing in my brain. But yeah! Do whatever you enjoy and are passionate about with the channel, the video was great and helped me realise that I don't need to be programming every single day of my life, not doing stuff that I enjoy as much because I am way too focused on development.
Honestly, I think you do a great job reflecting all the facets of having a career in software engineering. I know nobody working in this industry that always has joy; there are always ups and downs, and I think that's fine. It's like with all things in life: If there were no downs then how would you distinguish things you're passionate about? Also, impostor's syndrome is terrible. But once you've realized that almost everybody feels the same you can cope. It's most important to really focus on what you enjoyed about coding in the first place. Side projects (when time allows them at least) are what really help me stick to my job, only when you can create something yourself every now and then that you can really identify with, do you feel confident with what you're doing.
Sir those words that you said specially about impostor’s syndrome inspired me to get a cs degree I’m a senior in high school and I started learning about coding couple weeks ago and I’m nervous on going to college I feel like I wouldn’t know anything but I have to study more to be better sir I have a question if you work as a software engineer could you give me some tips about how to be good at coding(I know it takes time) also is it better to be a full stack developer than back end developer thank you hope you respond:)
I found my love coding again after being a C coder - was writing boring TPS report programs in a 4GL (SAP ABAP) for 11 years - the money was good but it was soul sucking. But then I got laid off during Covid and then learned Python Pandas and .NET C# in my downtime and started contracting writing back end web services and recently I did a contract to implement smartcard (low level bits and bytes) using Java and Android. Frustrating but glorious when it all came together. I could never do JavaScript or CSS or that web stuff - it reminds me of the SAP ABAP world - so farking boring !!!!.
God, this is so good to hear right now. I was feeling *so good* about my choice to change careers into software dev for the last two years taking classes at night, and then I had an absolute existential CRASH at the end of 2023 and it's been SO MUCH HARDER SINCE. I'm so scared for my graduation this year and trying to get a job. The imposter syndrome is REAL. I gotta remember that the reason I want to do it is so that I can potentially work from home and use my surplus to fund and participate in animal foster and rescue - and because I like puzzles and want to be more mentally engaged with my work. I'm not *bad* at code (except for being fresh). I learn well, always have, but boy trying to parse official documentation as a fresher feels like reading a technological circle-jerk that makes circular references instead of actually defining a single concept. 😰 Reddit and such in general have me so scared that if I'm not some savant that deep-throats tech 24/7 like kirby with the munchies that I'll be obsolete and unemployable in 5-10 years.
I am in the same boat as you. I do my work and when I hop off for the day, coding means nothing to me lol. I have many other creative hobbies I enjoy and my job funds that and that’s totally cool with me. Like you said, schooling for computer science is h a r d. At least it was for me. I do this job for the money and I work with a cool team and that’s enough. Others love coding like I love my other hobbies which is totally okay and more power to them. They can keep answering the stack overflow questions I need answers to lmao. Stay rad! Another great video.
Tru!!!! I arrived here by accident but you cracked me up. Not enjoying the stuff you build or building for others must indeed be horrible. It was very fun watching you be so honest and candid. Keep it up my dear.
I can't even remember the last time I left a comment on a youtube video, it was 10+ years ago without a doubt. I have been trying to grasp what to me feels like a super complex subject, which is: atomic design systems/design system in design (Figma) + code (Nextjs + tailwind) that are synced and preferably has some kind of two-way sync, where Figma components + tokens can translate to code and vice versa and I just watched your three videos going through the nextjs design system with Tailwind and you managed to make something I've honestly spent a ridiculous amount of time on to seem embarrassingly easy (even if I still have some left to figure out on the Figma side of things). Based on that I just had to leave a comment after watching this video, and thank you for you being awesome and sharing these incredibly helpful pieces of content. Looking forward to those framer motion videos! :D
Thank you for being open and vulnerable, I appreciate this honesty so much. I’m 24 an about to start my career as an ai/ml engineer post-grad, but still feeling confused and slight imposter syndrome of how I got to where I’m at. I do believe in that your career doesn’t have to be a passion. I enjoy coding, but personally my passions do lie in other things I must fund (like kayaking and cooking). Definitely venture out to your other passions, will support you the whole way through. (:
Of course! Thank you for this wonderful comment ❤️! I’ll definitely be trying other styles of videos, I miss cooking so maybe I can do something with that 👀. Also those post grad feels are so relatable, I wish you all the best 🫶🏼
Mewtru I feel you. Even though I do love coding, I had to spend four years working as a tour guide just to make enough money to get out of Cuba. Sadly it's a country without future where you can't really make a living as an engineer or pretty much anything else. So I did the tour guide thing... I was good at it, I got a lot of praise, great reviews, but I had to become someone I wasn't for three to six hours a day, like wearing a mask, it was draining... Now luckily I got to Uruguay and landed my first job as software engineer. Anyways, I'm 100% with you on doing what you like and being happy, even if it's outside your job hours. Thanks for all the great content so far, and looking forward to what's coming next.
I feel this is a very genuine video in terms of what youtubers generally post. I have been struggling with studies, life, even hobbies. And I generally come across streamers or youtubers who are super motivated and love what they are doing and they seem to have life figured out. I wish the best for you, and it's absolutely fine if you stop doing all the coding tech stuff. Ig some of us still have some figuring out to do
This is so relatable!! I feel like I'm only doing coding because it's a well-paid and not location-tied job. I couldn't feel less interested about the brand new frameworks or whatever it is I'm supposed to be passionate about.
Honestly if I ever hit the jackpot lotto I would kick coding to the curb. I fucking hate it. I'm only learning it for the money, other than that... it's so dry, tedious and boring.
I feel this. I learned programming when I was younger because I wanted to make games, and programming just seemed like a necessary part of it. In particular, I want to write the stories for and design games and coding seemed like something I'd have to slog through to get to make what I wanted to make. I fell into an entry-level programming job and did ok and over the years I grew to senior level, but the more time goes on, the more I hate it. Part of it is the job itself getting worse, but a lot of the things making it worse are things that have taken over the whole industry. Like Agile and Scrum and sprints, etc. I have no desire to keep up with new technologies, because if they're not specifically about games, they don't interest me in the least. So I just feel stuck and hating life. Life got in the way of working on my own stuff, but to be honest, the idea of it not doing well enough to get me out of this is just adding to my depression about everything.
I can relate to you. Yesterday was the worst day at work. Thought I should just quit. But I should just stress less and find other hobbies and work on that
"You don't have to love programming to work as a SE" THANKYOU SO MUCH THAT'S VALIDATING AF because I really want to make music, however the industry is pretty corrupted here and its hard to make money out of it initially. That is why I pursued CS and I do quite well in my class, I'm able to build projects better. Somehow, it feels like so much of knowledge is never enough. There's always something out there that I'm unaware of. I fear admitting that I see working in IT as just a money maker when I truly want to spend my energy elsewhere. Ugh I hope I land a good job and be able to lead life I want to. These streasful nights where I search my existential issues on TH-cam has to stop someday 😅
As a teahcer who shifts profession to front-end dev, I can relate to you. I wanted to be a designer, but programming is job-guranteed, so I studied a lot and became a programmer. But coding doens't exicte me a lot, especially after coding professionally for a year. My suggestion is take a break, read some books, go travelling or spend more time with friends & family. You can save money by being a programmer, and that money can give you the opportunity to be who you truly are, in the years to come (sounds cliche, I know).
@@kegami7997 Yeah, ur right. But I did about 20 interviews, and got offers from only 3 companies. Plus, the money is lower than what I used to make😬. So I guess it's not that easy, hhh🤣
@@ShangXindictedlyness it's not to much, trust me. Ur first year is for experience. In my country we don't have much Junior/Intern jobs, and even it's shows after 1 day it's have 800+ resumes.
I studied history and politics at uni, worked in various jobs in banking then got onto an apprenticeship with my employer in software development. I enjoy coding in so far as I need to and in small doses. I will never be that person doing projects in my spare time. It's the best job I've had but it's always going to be just a job.
I spent my 3 years in compsci repeating classes on semester break, and got randomly placed in internships outside my expertive I really hate. When everyone wants to work in banks or popular startups, I used to have this goal to learn Unity 2D and pixel art, work in an indie game studio and maybe publish my own games on Steam, but at this point I'll be lucky to have the will to graduate before unaliving myself
Thank you for this. I feel so similar to this, and didn’t know others felt this way. I like to build stuff, but don’t really care if the code is the cleanest, most performant, etc. And I’m currently working in security, and find that I just don’t care about a lot of the intricacies over here either. Is it secure? Does it work? Cool! Thank you. This video helps take a little of the weight off and just look to do the good things.
im in a new game dev program, ngl coding not for everyone - we have an intro web interface course and actually learning html and css is interesting - amazing how just one extra line here or there - can do so much. It's a language - look at it like if you want to speak German or Chinese. I like it English my second language - so I guess it takes all kinds; sure there are moments when learning that's frustrating, just like at Berlitz. But overall, it's great. My Asperger's/ADHD co-diagnosis probably is a help in this case.
yeah I agree, I don't think coding is for everyone. What differentiates coding from human grammar, is that in human grammar you can interpret meaning out of incorrect statements. Like someone can just say "I cold" and you can interpret that to meaning they're feeling cold. In formal languages like programming you need to be exactly correct. There’s an objective answer to will this code execute or not. So you can't just say like "const a cold" it's like "const a = cold" lol (bad example but you get it)
Been doing a version of this for a while. Im again facing an impossible problem and reaching into the miracle bag to solve it. I have no passion at all but I'm trapped at my age. I liked your video because you didn't give bland cliches about all of this
Mostly relatable content i have seen in months. I feel the same way. Coding is not that exciting. I feel like it's just my job to do it so I do it but I should be having something other than my job to make me happy about my life. Really glad you shared ❤️
Definitely a bummer to see. I don't think someone needs to be passionate about programming to be good at their job. I think that reputation comes because to get the job in the first place you have to do a lot of study by yourself with no one else telling you what to do. To stay relevant in the space you often need to spend time often outside of 9-5 to keep your skills sharp and updated. It's definitely hard to do those things without some kind of passion. It is for me at least. I was really excited for this channel because most of my favorite programming channels have either grown to dislike programming or making content for similar reasons to you. I guess it goes to show the amount of stress educational content creators go through. I'll definitely miss the videos but I'm glad you're doing what's best for you. Keep at it!
This video was so refreshing to watch and resonates with me massively! But 9 - 5 as an engineer + 5 - 9 as an engineering content creator = burnout, no? So much thinking about coding Give yourself a break haha
Mixing a hobby and a job is risky, because you might end up hating your hobby. I think this might have something to do with your feelings with programming.
Perspective is extremely important for anyone feeling like this. Would you rather be in a factory or iron foundry or coal mine working 10x harder for half the money? "Work" for most of human history has been involuntary slave labor you did survive. Things could always be worse than simply being bored at work
But the choice is not between being a factory worker or being a software engineer. There are so many professions and fields out there that it is possible to find work that is at least tolerable to someone. I have been a software engineer for over a decade and I aboslutely hate this field. Thankfully I am quitting this field forever next week as I found something that is far better for me. Software engineering is absolutely not for everyone.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, we really don't need to do something just because others are doing it or because I've been told it's the best solution, but rather do something that makes us happy to be doing it. Looking forward to the next videos 😁❤
Imposor syndrome lives with all your life I know still suffer 30 years programing and I hate a lot of boring features and bug fixing. But it pays the bills, hopefully I have learnt to say f**** it I am good enough where I am looking at ai and are might bring some excitement back. Love your videos in IT please keep going it will pay off.
Hey Mewtru, thank you for your video and for expressing how you feel. I think it's normal to have doubts about ourselves and the direction of our career. I definitely relate; at some point, I felt the same way. I believe that as we become more expert and work gets easier, combined with a work ethic mindset where work is our identity, it can be quite detrimental to our self-esteem. Originally, I wanted to study graphic design and spent years with a feeling of dissatisfaction and being burnt out. At some point in our career, just like in life, we are in a state where we have to learn to do the most basic things, and I don't mean loops or arrays or patterns, but rather to enjoy our work. I learned to enjoy it again by going back to the basics; one day, I built a Lego set and realized that, in essence, that's what I enjoy - creating. Making tutorials outside of your 9-5 job is dedicating a space where you create your own universes with your own rules and don't follow the rules of an existing codebase. Moreover, perhaps you can direct your content towards something more artistic. For my part, I study graphic design at the same time as my full-time job, aiming for more front-end, UX design, etc., roles in the future. Anyway, thank you!
Legos are so wonderful, just pure bliss when I’m working on a big set haha. And yeah I’m definitely thinking of doing something more artistic :) thank you so much for your comment!
I hate programming and I hate learning non-computer languages, too. I only like science language and math language. Whether it is spending hours finding the correct words and syntax to create a sentence in Python or C++ or Java that does something useful or spending hours finding the correct words and syntax to create a sentence in Russian, French, Chinese, Hungarian, etc just to say one useful thing, the amount of payoff, of benefit, is trivially insignificant compared to the effort. With science and math, each new discovery I find after spending hours of labor feels unique and special and something nobody else can do or has done.
As a CS student, I keep hearing about impostor syndrome being a HUGE thing in this field, but that makes it so much worse, cuz now I keep thinking "Is this just impostor syndrome, or do I actually not know what the fuck I'm doing"
I've been a web dev for over a decade now and I'm honestly kinda tired of JavaScript, yet researching new stuff and deciding what to do while having to maintain my projects (one of them has 100K users) is not easy
There's a clip you showcasing a 404 page of a caterpillar crawling across the screen, and you're just laughing, having a good time 😂. That's the programming content I love to see! That stuff is memorable. It's creative. I never see programmers smiling over their own creations. I also have terrible memory and sometimes I question why I even got into programming instead of music. Maybe one solution is to tap into creative projects that combine programming with animations/music/. Idk 🤷♂️ but great video!
Ever since I was in college i struggled a lot in programming. I tried my best but it was like my brain was not ready to understand the coding, but I left it years back ..
I go through periods where I actually enjoy the stuff I'm coding. Then I go through periods where it's very much just a job. At least it's a job where I can turn my head slightly to the left and have TH-cam :)
I think the main problem is not what we are doing for living and etc, you could do design, photography, coding etc, but the problem is, you have to do it for long periods of time, harming your quality of life just to be a part of a system who benefits a little percentage of people and suffocate the majority of us.
I freaking love your honesty Tru! I feel the exact same way 😂I haven't gotten my first job yet but it's really reassuring that you can feel like this and still do well in the field.
❤️❤️❤️ thank you!! And yes, I think it’s very important to know that most people aren’t crazy passionate about coding, even though a lot of people online seem like they do 😅 and good luck with the job search 🫶🏼!!!
I recently created a blog, and I always find it difficult to write about topics that are widely talked about on the Internet or are complex to explain. I found out that writing the things that deeply interest me, is the only way to go. It all has to come naturally.
You're in the early stage of your career - right now you're learning the difference between learning to code and WRITING CODE. Real-world coding is far different to what you learn in a book. Give it at least 2-3 years before making any final decisions. Right now you're being bombarded with languages, tech stacks, best practices, design patterns, unit testing, code reviews, agile development, and everyone seems more experienced and knows more. That's how it SHOULD feel right now. Talk to the people around you - their experience is how you learn. Ignore the little voice that triggers imposter syndrome - something like 95% of software devs suffer from imposter syndrome, so remember that if you're feeling it, the vast majority of those around you are, too.
Hey, Tru! It's good to know how you really feel about coding, and despite everything you mentioned, I don't think it means you're an "imposter" (: I've wanted to get into the tech content creator for a while too, but I bet it's kind of a bit of an overwhelming world, as people who follow you might go to you for guidance, wonder what your stance is when it comes to certain topics, etc. And I think it's fine to not have, or not want to have, a strong opinion on certain things because, let's be honest, there's a lot of stuff out there that really isn't all that interesting for all of us haha. Also, it's fine if you forget the stuff you researched for some of your videos. Like, it happens to me as well for work. There's so much stuff you have to be able to do sometimes, and not all of it is going to stick in your RAM. I really do admire people who can retain a looot of knowledge for a long time, but it's not quite my case haha. Like, I also made video about this javascript/spongebob meme that's out there and why it actually makes sense, and I put so much time to researching it and making it and I already forgot all about it LMAO. So it's actually kinda comforting to know I'm not the only one. I'm in a position where I do really like coding, even if I'm not in a position where I do it a lot anymore in my current job. However, even if software engineering is my job, I mostly use it to empower other things I'm passionate about. In my case, for a while what I loved to do was making videogame reviews on my channel. Now, I've moved on to making music, acting and voice acting, and that's all going very well (: All of these have always been pretty expensive activities, so having a job like this is really good for supporting other things you're passionate about, like your friends' skiing. I think maybe that's what you need. Perhaps not to force yourself to have to do coding-related work all day, and instead dedicate your free time to some other things that you can be passionate about, like doing art, and maybe even share them here! There's always some "resistance" from some people when content creators change their content a bit, but at the end of the day you gotta do the content that you enjoy first and foremost, by doing the things you love. Hope you can find that soon enough! So, whatever you decide to do, I'm all up for it (: Take care, Tru, and thanks for sharing your thoughts! Stay Tru to yourself. Also, Scrum Masters don't exist, they're but an urban legend.
❤️❤️❤️ making tech content and forgetting about it is hilarious, I literally can’t explain proxies now if I tried 😂. I definitely want to enjoy content again and i think I’ll do things adjacent but still involving something about programming! I was thinking dumb hardware ideas haha. But thank you so much for your comment ❤️ I gotta check out your video game reviews 👀
@@mewtru looking forward to what you decide 👀 you're welcome, and thank you too! my videos are all mostly in spanish, so they might help you with that 😁
Programming dumb stuff is my only joy in life. People love throwing mad shade at flash, but making interactive animated content was my jam. We don't get to do that anymore. Everyone is obsessed with stale ass boring corporate user interfaces pumped through 12 committees and a design system rewrite every few years using broken tools that limit creativity to the point where all I get to do is lego other people's work together like a factory worker. AI should take over. It should take that part over. I quit working on UI and frontend, there is no charm left in it for me. Looking forward to more programming dumb stuff videos.
Ok right before the cut to Emperors New Grove, I said this girl is my soulmate and then my favourite kids movie which no one around me likes, comes up and it just sealed the deal (a common saying) for me that I wished she was friends with me. Bit of distance to Melbourne but video calls are a thing. Can relate to you no knowning if you like/love your workstyle or just on a drive to succeed a keep going with it. I do wish I learn't about computers more but as a man I guess I wnated to work after schooling years was done, and now am a qualified mechanic, I have many pathways but very intelligent also, I belived I can do anything. Except making new solid friends!
I think I like coding...I think. But I totally agree with you regarding the part you don't need to be passionate about what you do. It's totally fine finding your passion outside of work. Thank you for sharing this kinda feeling, idk why but somehow it makes me feel better about my imposter syndrome
Good for you 😊 I needed to hear that myself today. I enjoy coding but I don’t want it to take over my life and require I think about it all the time. I’m trying to just do my best and leave work at work. Feels like lots of pressure most days to be faster and better than the day before and that you have to understand and care about everything. Just going to take it one day at a time 😊
I can relate, I'm more art oriented person, but coding came through my way and looking for the advantages that profession could provide I decided to dive in. but it always feels like something is missing. I recently moved from backend to frontend to experiment new things and kind of like it a bit more regarding the fact that still is coding. I tried to do design classes but I thought it was very hard to grasp something and I could spend all my life trying to be a medium designer, knowing that I'm kind of a good programmer and have such experience and formation.
I feel this way since I started working as a software developer, and I don’t want to stop working as a developer because of that. In this area we have such a pressure to be “passionate” about our job, and all that I want is to do my work and not making this part of who I am. Thanks for sharing 🙌🏻
Unsolicited opinion: you're not sweating the small stuff which is GOOD. Very few programmers have the ability to say "yo, this pedantic thing everyone is arguing over is NOT IMPORTANT and NOT WORTH MY TIME." That's rare and extremely valuable.
Hot take: your desire for more followers over more money might not be as irrational as you think. We're starting to learn more and more that success comes from distribution, not hard work, and social reach is the most lucrative distribution channel right now.
i hate this industry. I hate recruiters, picky hiring managers, take homes. I hate the layoffs every 2 years.I hate the job search. I hate scrum. I hate retrospectives. I hate having to record retrospectives that nobody is going to watch.
I feel exactly the same.. And wondering if I should get out or keep going. Finding no joy in the core job, even if I'm in a great company with great people.
I am an SE as well, I work at Shopify and I code everyday, I work hard and give my best and I wouldn't say I hate coding but outside of my working hours I don't want anything to do with coding. I want to enjoy my wife, my dog, friends and my other hobbies. I think you nailed it, work can be just work, it's okay. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your comment!! And yes I want to spend time actually focused on interests and leave the coding for my job haha :)
@@mewtru you got this! 🌟
I despised coding in university because the grades mattered the most and not learning. But then I fell in love with coding after working on some cool projects/tech stacks for my job. Now that I have a good amount of work experience, it's a mixed-bag because I really want to do and learn more outside of work but doing so now becomes tiresome.
I wish I could just code for fun without having to worry about the bills 😂
Yeah.. learning a new framework because you suddenly need it for your work due to decisions of management or team-leads should be paid time.
Great video! Being in the unique position of a programmer AND a programming content creator is something that can be draining REALLY fast. After my job as a programmer, I would go on TH-cam, TikTok, whatever to do something new but now because thats also my job, it's like it's consumed every aspect of my life.
I relate to the different hobbies aspect that you mentioned. I think learning video editing, 3d modelling and other things has allowed me to create an outlet for creativity in what might seem like a job to most. Being in the "box" of programming content also has allowed me too to think creatively on how to explain things differently.
Awesome video! Something that should be discussed more.
Thank you so much Lewis :)! You make amazing content and your edits are 😩👌🏽. That’s awesome that you do 3D modeling!!!
Of all the content you’ve made, this has honestly felt the most enjoyable to watch. Not even because of what you’re talking about, it just feels natural and engaging and not forced.
If there’s a subject you’re truly passionate about (animation, UI, anything) then those will always be your best videos, and you’ll grow an audience that shares those interests.
Thank you Ben :)! I feel the same about this video, it felt way more natural to record and edit vs. the technical ones.
I love coding, but i hate it sometimes
It’s really refreshing to hear an engineer at your status say this but it’s the reality for a lot of devs me included.
I think I just had a profound enlightenment. I just dont like coding. All these 3 to 4 yrs or from childhood I used to think I love coding and now be miserable why I am not like those linkedin people who can code Google in a day. But I dont like coding. Thats why I am not focused or like code in my off-time.
I am in it for money. I like travelling, interacting with animals, cooking, watching TV shows but I dont like coding.
Man I feel so light now. I dont have to be good in it. Just be enough to climb the ladder to make more money. Fuck it feels like cheat code to my hugely miserable life.
I subbed thanks for this.
R u a software engineer?
I just wanted to say I really like your channel. I enjoy your sense of humor. I like how you incorporate your love of art in code and creativity. Keep up the good work. I subscribed.
I think a job can just be a job - find your passion outside of it! I look forward to seeing your animations 🎉
No bro, no. Do not work in jobs you hate every second. The longest I can code is 3 hours max before my brain shuts off. Most devs that love coding to the poi t of 16+ are on the spectrum. So if your not don't even try to be that hyper focused.
The topics in the code influencer space are mostly pointless and hyperbolic for the sake of clicks. Many of the opinions expressed are only to chase view counts. Furthermore, some people are actively projecting confidence to hide the fact that they too feel like an imposter.
As a programmer myself-- & I also don't love coding. I love making things that impact the world. I code because it gives me the freedom to build cool things I want to see in the world. The code itself is secondary or even tertiary.
I love that, " I code because it gives me the freedom to build cool things I want to see in the world". I miss building cool things, going to try and get back into that.
I graduated from med school last year (forced by parents), currently in an internship. I recently realized the same thing about being a doctor - I just don't like it, at all. Every job comes with its difficulties (toxic environment, high expectations, tons of paperwork), but I could never see the point of enduring them, which made me HATE classes and now the job itself.
That's why I decided to change careers. I'll finish the internship to get my license just in case, but the moment I come home I sit down and code for a couple of hours. It's so much fun! There are of course days when I'm not so enthusiastic, but I just can't process the fact that I actually enjoy watching lectures and doing assignments. I had always hated studying and seriously thought there was something wrong with me.
Changing careers is daunting, but it's worth it in the long run. I can't imagine doing something I hate for over 40 years.
Bro now what r u doing.?
Have u became a programmer or doing med job?
Combine the two - medicine could really benefit from software but the state of medical software is DIRE.
i understand you, i feel like that very often as well as a SE. i started feeling a lot better when i just deleted all the influencer social networks like insta, twitter, facebook as well. The only place i get exposed to this unrealistic influencer shit is youtube, but i force the algorithm to pick better videos for me, but blocking annoying channels and so on. This is how i found you and it s awesome!! Thank you for this video!!
I have been a software engineer for past 8 years and I have never related more to someone. Thanks for sharing how you feel girl. I feel the same and it sucks that I am a senior developer now but I genuinely don't care about coding discussions that my coworkers often do. It makes me hate my job even more and make me feel like I am in the wrong career
Why??
It pays u more than any other high paying jobs.
@@RLleeo Because money doesn't bring happiness. If you don't feel connected to people around you, the paystubs don't magically make that feeling go away
i finish my CS degree tomorrow. college has sucked every molecule of joy out of my soul and even the souls of all of the me's in parallel universes.
You completed one of the hardest majors. I can only dream of having a cs degree. Congratulations!
@@Fadegg thank you!
@@Fadegg You kidding? It was a cakewalk. CS degrees are a dime a dozen these days.
Anyone who genuinely enjoys writing code is either a) a dysfunctional freak who lives and breathes code or b) a liar.
And I can say that quite confidently having worked as a software engineer. I get excited about code and then think "Ehh why am I doing this" after about 2-3 lines or so. It feels like I no longer have the ability to just _think_ and to solve problems, much of the time my brain feels like a lump of concrete and I either miss things that should be obvious, or overthink and overengineer things, or am totally deficient at stuff I was doing for years with aplomb.
Either burnout, AD(H)D, or some kind of other mental break, I think. Should probably get it checked out.
I feel entirely the same way. Damn.
For me it's dyslexia, my brain hate textual work.
@@dragonbleu1205 respect
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about this! The more I talk to software engineers the more I hear how everyone feels like an imposter at some point in their life. I appreciate that this video shows this from a female perspective as well. As women we can be so hard on ourselves and feel like the odd ones out when we don't fit the norm, and videos like yours show that it is okay and normal to have these feelings and that you're not alone! ❤
As someone who started his work life doing construction in 110 degree weather I have nothing to complain about in my programming career.
You go girl!! At least you're being honest!
why the "at least" part?
Because she doesn't really understand how the computer works, like how the cpu cores work, what the assembly instructions ,that get generated in the end ,actually tell the cpu to do, how does data live in memory, what caches are, etc.
And it's not her fault. Stuff like html and css specs were made by complete morons in the 90's. Not to mention better ml's existed BACK THEN. Most web programmers are a bit delusional and tend to discuss things that are completely detached from what the computer actually is capable of doing, which is also not helping because thats what newcomers to programming are bombarded with when they wish to learn more about programming. I can tell you right now, low level/ embedded systems programmers don't feel like imposters because the systems they work on and the tools they use, are something that those programmers know intimately well, and that's because those systems and tools (like the C language for example) were very thoroughly thought out and in order to for a programmer to get something to work at all, they had to learn about the actual physical part that would be doing the work.
I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I can't tell you how many TH-camrs I've heard say the same exact thing about their topic or profession. Burn out seems to be inevitable. It's one reason I keep changing what my interest is.
Full Stack Engineer here. Started programming in 1982. It does suck when you're really good at something you hate. Been doing it longer than I care to remember but it does pay the bills.
I totally get what you were saying about the information going in and then straight back out and not being able to remember it, I take a while to fully understand something that might take others a day since I learn about something then switch the next day for some reason, then try go back and theres nothing in my brain. But yeah! Do whatever you enjoy and are passionate about with the channel, the video was great and helped me realise that I don't need to be programming every single day of my life, not doing stuff that I enjoy as much because I am way too focused on development.
currently sobbing over my laptop, I can't stand to see another bug again
Honestly, I think you do a great job reflecting all the facets of having a career in software engineering. I know nobody working in this industry that always has joy; there are always ups and downs, and I think that's fine. It's like with all things in life: If there were no downs then how would you distinguish things you're passionate about? Also, impostor's syndrome is terrible. But once you've realized that almost everybody feels the same you can cope. It's most important to really focus on what you enjoyed about coding in the first place. Side projects (when time allows them at least) are what really help me stick to my job, only when you can create something yourself every now and then that you can really identify with, do you feel confident with what you're doing.
Sir those words that you said specially about impostor’s syndrome inspired me to get a cs degree I’m a senior in high school and I started learning about coding couple weeks ago and I’m nervous on going to college I feel like I wouldn’t know anything but I have to study more to be better sir I have a question if you work as a software engineer could you give me some tips about how to be good at coding(I know it takes time) also is it better to be a full stack developer than back end developer thank you hope you respond:)
@@nicolasaguirre54 Glad to hear that! Sure, dm me if you like!
I found my love coding again after being a C coder - was writing boring TPS report programs in a 4GL (SAP ABAP) for 11 years - the money was good but it was soul sucking.
But then I got laid off during Covid and then learned Python Pandas and .NET C# in my downtime and started contracting writing back end web services and recently I did a contract to implement smartcard (low level bits and bytes) using Java and Android.
Frustrating but glorious when it all came together.
I could never do JavaScript or CSS or that web stuff - it reminds me of the SAP ABAP world - so farking boring !!!!.
God, this is so good to hear right now. I was feeling *so good* about my choice to change careers into software dev for the last two years taking classes at night, and then I had an absolute existential CRASH at the end of 2023 and it's been SO MUCH HARDER SINCE. I'm so scared for my graduation this year and trying to get a job. The imposter syndrome is REAL.
I gotta remember that the reason I want to do it is so that I can potentially work from home and use my surplus to fund and participate in animal foster and rescue - and because I like puzzles and want to be more mentally engaged with my work. I'm not *bad* at code (except for being fresh). I learn well, always have, but boy trying to parse official documentation as a fresher feels like reading a technological circle-jerk that makes circular references instead of actually defining a single concept. 😰
Reddit and such in general have me so scared that if I'm not some savant that deep-throats tech 24/7 like kirby with the munchies that I'll be obsolete and unemployable in 5-10 years.
So u r continuing coding still now?
It really pays well.
I am in the same boat as you. I do my work and when I hop off for the day, coding means nothing to me lol. I have many other creative hobbies I enjoy and my job funds that and that’s totally cool with me. Like you said, schooling for computer science is h a r d. At least it was for me. I do this job for the money and I work with a cool team and that’s enough. Others love coding like I love my other hobbies which is totally okay and more power to them. They can keep answering the stack overflow questions I need answers to lmao. Stay rad! Another great video.
I just hate the sedentary aspect of it .. just sitting around at a desk in the office … bleh
Totally agree with you!!!!!
LOVE IT!!!!! You are amazing! Laughed at least 10 times, listening to that honest and so positive message to everyone 🙌🎯
Tru!!!! I arrived here by accident but you cracked me up. Not enjoying the stuff you build or building for others must indeed be horrible. It was very fun watching you be so honest and candid. Keep it up my dear.
I can't even remember the last time I left a comment on a youtube video, it was 10+ years ago without a doubt. I have been trying to grasp what to me feels like a super complex subject, which is: atomic design systems/design system in design (Figma) + code (Nextjs + tailwind) that are synced and preferably has some kind of two-way sync, where Figma components + tokens can translate to code and vice versa and I just watched your three videos going through the nextjs design system with Tailwind and you managed to make something I've honestly spent a ridiculous amount of time on to seem embarrassingly easy (even if I still have some left to figure out on the Figma side of things). Based on that I just had to leave a comment after watching this video, and thank you for you being awesome and sharing these incredibly helpful pieces of content. Looking forward to those framer motion videos! :D
Awwwww, this was such a nice comment to read!!! Thank you for the kind words :)
Thank you for being open and vulnerable, I appreciate this honesty so much. I’m 24 an about to start my career as an ai/ml engineer post-grad, but still feeling confused and slight imposter syndrome of how I got to where I’m at. I do believe in that your career doesn’t have to be a passion. I enjoy coding, but personally my passions do lie in other things I must fund (like kayaking and cooking). Definitely venture out to your other passions, will support you the whole way through. (:
Of course! Thank you for this wonderful comment ❤️! I’ll definitely be trying other styles of videos, I miss cooking so maybe I can do something with that 👀. Also those post grad feels are so relatable, I wish you all the best 🫶🏼
I felt this in my soul . I tried making tech content for 6 months and i hated it a lot
Mewtru I feel you. Even though I do love coding, I had to spend four years working as a tour guide just to make enough money to get out of Cuba. Sadly it's a country without future where you can't really make a living as an engineer or pretty much anything else. So I did the tour guide thing... I was good at it, I got a lot of praise, great reviews, but I had to become someone I wasn't for three to six hours a day, like wearing a mask, it was draining... Now luckily I got to Uruguay and landed my first job as software engineer. Anyways, I'm 100% with you on doing what you like and being happy, even if it's outside your job hours. Thanks for all the great content so far, and looking forward to what's coming next.
I feel this is a very genuine video in terms of what youtubers generally post. I have been struggling with studies, life, even hobbies. And I generally come across streamers or youtubers who are super motivated and love what they are doing and they seem to have life figured out. I wish the best for you, and it's absolutely fine if you stop doing all the coding tech stuff. Ig some of us still have some figuring out to do
Words cannot explain how much I appreciate this VIDEO…. Thank you❤❤❤
I appreciate you 🫶🏼!!!
tortured programmers society
This is so relatable!! I feel like I'm only doing coding because it's a well-paid and not location-tied job. I couldn't feel less interested about the brand new frameworks or whatever it is I'm supposed to be passionate about.
hahah tell me about it, I mean I'll learn it if I have to for my job
Honestly if I ever hit the jackpot lotto I would kick coding to the curb. I fucking hate it. I'm only learning it for the money, other than that... it's so dry, tedious and boring.
Sounds like you are making a mistake friend
this is sooo beautifully made & so real!! thank you so much for sharing your story
Bruh, i can relate 100% when you said "if i don't do this, what else do i have !!" 😢
I feel this too, I am in a programming degree and I feel like a fake because I'm just there for a job and I don't care about anything else
I feel this. I learned programming when I was younger because I wanted to make games, and programming just seemed like a necessary part of it. In particular, I want to write the stories for and design games and coding seemed like something I'd have to slog through to get to make what I wanted to make. I fell into an entry-level programming job and did ok and over the years I grew to senior level, but the more time goes on, the more I hate it.
Part of it is the job itself getting worse, but a lot of the things making it worse are things that have taken over the whole industry. Like Agile and Scrum and sprints, etc. I have no desire to keep up with new technologies, because if they're not specifically about games, they don't interest me in the least. So I just feel stuck and hating life.
Life got in the way of working on my own stuff, but to be honest, the idea of it not doing well enough to get me out of this is just adding to my depression about everything.
I can relate to you. Yesterday was the worst day at work. Thought I should just quit. But I should just stress less and find other hobbies and work on that
anything that humans do 16+ hours a day becomes uninteresting.....
Not necessarily but yeah usually a good recipe for burnout
this is so relatable it hurts 🫠
"You don't have to love programming to work as a SE"
THANKYOU SO MUCH THAT'S VALIDATING AF because I really want to make music, however the industry is pretty corrupted here and its hard to make money out of it initially. That is why I pursued CS and I do quite well in my class, I'm able to build projects better. Somehow, it feels like so much of knowledge is never enough. There's always something out there that I'm unaware of. I fear admitting that I see working in IT as just a money maker when I truly want to spend my energy elsewhere.
Ugh I hope I land a good job and be able to lead life I want to. These streasful nights where I search my existential issues on TH-cam has to stop someday 😅
As a teahcer who shifts profession to front-end dev, I can relate to you. I wanted to be a designer, but programming is job-guranteed, so I studied a lot and became a programmer. But coding doens't exicte me a lot, especially after coding professionally for a year. My suggestion is take a break, read some books, go travelling or spend more time with friends & family. You can save money by being a programmer, and that money can give you the opportunity to be who you truly are, in the years to come (sounds cliche, I know).
You are lucky if in ur country programming is "job-guranteed" :)
@@kegami7997 Yeah, ur right. But I did about 20 interviews, and got offers from only 3 companies. Plus, the money is lower than what I used to make😬. So I guess it's not that easy, hhh🤣
@@ShangXindictedlyness it's not to much, trust me. Ur first year is for experience. In my country we don't have much Junior/Intern jobs, and even it's shows after 1 day it's have 800+ resumes.
@@kegami7997 Agreed. Sounds like competition is really tough in ur country.
I studied history and politics at uni, worked in various jobs in banking then got onto an apprenticeship with my employer in software development. I enjoy coding in so far as I need to and in small doses. I will never be that person doing projects in my spare time. It's the best job I've had but it's always going to be just a job.
Ay finally an honest soul! God bless you in life!
Sounds like you need to win the lottery and go permanently offline 🤣
Lmaooo I wish 😂
I want that too 😢
In my life, there's just 1 puzzle piece missing and that is to win $1B in lottery 🥵
I spent my 3 years in compsci repeating classes on semester break, and got randomly placed in internships outside my expertive I really hate. When everyone wants to work in banks or popular startups, I used to have this goal to learn Unity 2D and pixel art, work in an indie game studio and maybe publish my own games on Steam, but at this point I'll be lucky to have the will to graduate before unaliving myself
Thank you for this. I feel so similar to this, and didn’t know others felt this way.
I like to build stuff, but don’t really care if the code is the cleanest, most performant, etc. And I’m currently working in security, and find that I just don’t care about a lot of the intricacies over here either. Is it secure? Does it work? Cool!
Thank you. This video helps take a little of the weight off and just look to do the good things.
Thank you for this comment!!! I'm glad it helped you :) It's helping me as well realizing a lot of people feel the same way haha
im in a new game dev program, ngl coding not for everyone - we have an intro web interface course and actually learning html and css is interesting - amazing how just one extra line here or there - can do so much. It's a language - look at it like if you want to speak German or Chinese. I like it English my second language - so I guess it takes all kinds; sure there are moments when learning that's frustrating, just like at Berlitz. But overall, it's great. My Asperger's/ADHD co-diagnosis probably is a help in this case.
yeah I agree, I don't think coding is for everyone. What differentiates coding from human grammar, is that in human grammar you can interpret meaning out of incorrect statements. Like someone can just say "I cold" and you can interpret that to meaning they're feeling cold. In formal languages like programming you need to be exactly correct. There’s an objective answer to will this code execute or not. So you can't just say like "const a cold" it's like "const a = cold" lol (bad example but you get it)
Been doing a version of this for a while. Im again facing an impossible problem and reaching into the miracle bag to solve it. I have no passion at all but I'm trapped at my age. I liked your video because you didn't give bland cliches about all of this
Mostly relatable content i have seen in months. I feel the same way. Coding is not that exciting. I feel like it's just my job to do it so I do it but I should be having something other than my job to make me happy about my life. Really glad you shared ❤️
Thank you!!! I'm glad it was relatable :)
Definitely a bummer to see. I don't think someone needs to be passionate about programming to be good at their job. I think that reputation comes because to get the job in the first place you have to do a lot of study by yourself with no one else telling you what to do. To stay relevant in the space you often need to spend time often outside of 9-5 to keep your skills sharp and updated. It's definitely hard to do those things without some kind of passion. It is for me at least.
I was really excited for this channel because most of my favorite programming channels have either grown to dislike programming or making content for similar reasons to you. I guess it goes to show the amount of stress educational content creators go through. I'll definitely miss the videos but I'm glad you're doing what's best for you. Keep at it!
This video was so refreshing to watch and resonates with me massively!
But 9 - 5 as an engineer + 5 - 9 as an engineering content creator = burnout, no? So much thinking about coding
Give yourself a break haha
Mixing a hobby and a job is risky, because you might end up hating your hobby. I think this might have something to do with your feelings with programming.
Perspective is extremely important for anyone feeling like this. Would you rather be in a factory or iron foundry or coal mine working 10x harder for half the money?
"Work" for most of human history has been involuntary slave labor you did survive. Things could always be worse than simply being bored at work
But the choice is not between being a factory worker or being a software engineer. There are so many professions and fields out there that it is possible to find work that is at least tolerable to someone. I have been a software engineer for over a decade and I aboslutely hate this field. Thankfully I am quitting this field forever next week as I found something that is far better for me. Software engineering is absolutely not for everyone.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, we really don't need to do something just because others are doing it or because I've been told it's the best solution, but rather do something that makes us happy to be doing it. Looking forward to the next videos 😁❤
I needed this. College is just sucking the joy of programming out of me.
Imposor syndrome lives with all your life I know still suffer 30 years programing and I hate a lot of boring features and bug fixing. But it pays the bills, hopefully I have learnt to say f**** it I am good enough where I am looking at ai and are might bring some excitement back. Love your videos in IT please keep going it will pay off.
Hey Mewtru, thank you for your video and for expressing how you feel. I think it's normal to have doubts about ourselves and the direction of our career. I definitely relate; at some point, I felt the same way. I believe that as we become more expert and work gets easier, combined with a work ethic mindset where work is our identity, it can be quite detrimental to our self-esteem. Originally, I wanted to study graphic design and spent years with a feeling of dissatisfaction and being burnt out. At some point in our career, just like in life, we are in a state where we have to learn to do the most basic things, and I don't mean loops or arrays or patterns, but rather to enjoy our work. I learned to enjoy it again by going back to the basics; one day, I built a Lego set and realized that, in essence, that's what I enjoy - creating. Making tutorials outside of your 9-5 job is dedicating a space where you create your own universes with your own rules and don't follow the rules of an existing codebase. Moreover, perhaps you can direct your content towards something more artistic. For my part, I study graphic design at the same time as my full-time job, aiming for more front-end, UX design, etc., roles in the future. Anyway, thank you!
Legos are so wonderful, just pure bliss when I’m working on a big set haha. And yeah I’m definitely thinking of doing something more artistic :) thank you so much for your comment!
I feel the same
Coding is just my career not my hobby.
I hate programming and I hate learning non-computer languages, too.
I only like science language and math language.
Whether it is spending hours finding the correct words and syntax to create a sentence in Python or C++ or Java that does something useful or spending hours finding the correct words and syntax to create a sentence in Russian, French, Chinese, Hungarian, etc just to say one useful thing, the amount of payoff, of benefit, is trivially insignificant compared to the effort.
With science and math, each new discovery I find after spending hours of labor feels unique and special and something nobody else can do or has done.
Oh same for me ! I also hate learn any language. I'm dyslexic it's why I hate so much textual things.
As a CS student, I keep hearing about impostor syndrome being a HUGE thing in this field, but that makes it so much worse, cuz now I keep thinking "Is this just impostor syndrome, or do I actually not know what the fuck I'm doing"
Yeap,It's weird concept
Currently getting a minor in comp sci and my coding classes are giving me mental breakdowns this is not for me
love how real and honest this is. not a lot of youtubers show this side. thanks for this!
Thank you :)!!
I've been a web dev for over a decade now and I'm honestly kinda tired of JavaScript, yet researching new stuff and deciding what to do while having to maintain my projects (one of them has 100K users) is not easy
There's a clip you showcasing a 404 page of a caterpillar crawling across the screen, and you're just laughing, having a good time 😂. That's the programming content I love to see! That stuff is memorable. It's creative. I never see programmers smiling over their own creations.
I also have terrible memory and sometimes I question why I even got into programming instead of music. Maybe one solution is to tap into creative projects that combine programming with animations/music/. Idk 🤷♂️ but great video!
Ever since I was in college i struggled a lot in programming. I tried my best but it was like my brain was not ready to understand the coding, but I left it years back ..
Dude, What did u do then??
Did u get a job after leaving.?
what u do now
I go through periods where I actually enjoy the stuff I'm coding. Then I go through periods where it's very much just a job. At least it's a job where I can turn my head slightly to the left and have TH-cam :)
Half of my brain is tiktok sound 😅 really liked that part
I feel the same, i think im burn out !
This makes me feel so seen. Please don’t stop making videos 🥹
I think the main problem is not what we are doing for living and etc, you could do design, photography, coding etc, but the problem is, you have to do it for long periods of time, harming your quality of life just to be a part of a system who benefits a little percentage of people and suffocate the majority of us.
You described me perferctly, even the stuff about high school resonated. I HATE coding, but I am successful at it lol
School made me hate coding with a passion i still wanna learn to do it, but i get angry whenever i get stuck from the sheer hatred I’ve developed
Bro same, don’t know how to overcome it
your sincerity is really a gift o/ I apreciatte it
I freaking love your honesty Tru! I feel the exact same way 😂I haven't gotten my first job yet but it's really reassuring that you can feel like this and still do well in the field.
❤️❤️❤️ thank you!! And yes, I think it’s very important to know that most people aren’t crazy passionate about coding, even though a lot of people online seem like they do 😅 and good luck with the job search 🫶🏼!!!
This video is amazing. So glad I’m not alone.
Coding can just be a job. It doesn't have to be your personality.
I recently created a blog, and I always find it difficult to write about topics that are widely talked about on the Internet or are complex to explain. I found out that writing the things that deeply interest me, is the only way to go. It all has to come naturally.
My favourite dev jobs - slowly upgrading a 20 year old legacy system to 10 year old legacy tech with essentially the same junk code inside 😂
Jesus, i've been working on a project like this for 6 months ago and i hate it already.
I want to quit my coding job , I've just started, it's just an internship but I feel like it's not for me n I wanna change my entire career only
Go to Business, Underwriting or Insurance.
Dude, wtf??
Coding jobs r so much high paying..
Well , did u quit? What r u doing now?
You're in the early stage of your career - right now you're learning the difference between learning to code and WRITING CODE. Real-world coding is far different to what you learn in a book. Give it at least 2-3 years before making any final decisions. Right now you're being bombarded with languages, tech stacks, best practices, design patterns, unit testing, code reviews, agile development, and everyone seems more experienced and knows more. That's how it SHOULD feel right now. Talk to the people around you - their experience is how you learn. Ignore the little voice that triggers imposter syndrome - something like 95% of software devs suffer from imposter syndrome, so remember that if you're feeling it, the vast majority of those around you are, too.
This is great. We're all human here. I've been in the industry almost 20 years and I'm feeling what you're saying :)
Thank you Devon!! That’s reassuring to hear haha 🥹
Hey, Tru! It's good to know how you really feel about coding, and despite everything you mentioned, I don't think it means you're an "imposter" (: I've wanted to get into the tech content creator for a while too, but I bet it's kind of a bit of an overwhelming world, as people who follow you might go to you for guidance, wonder what your stance is when it comes to certain topics, etc. And I think it's fine to not have, or not want to have, a strong opinion on certain things because, let's be honest, there's a lot of stuff out there that really isn't all that interesting for all of us haha.
Also, it's fine if you forget the stuff you researched for some of your videos. Like, it happens to me as well for work. There's so much stuff you have to be able to do sometimes, and not all of it is going to stick in your RAM. I really do admire people who can retain a looot of knowledge for a long time, but it's not quite my case haha. Like, I also made video about this javascript/spongebob meme that's out there and why it actually makes sense, and I put so much time to researching it and making it and I already forgot all about it LMAO. So it's actually kinda comforting to know I'm not the only one.
I'm in a position where I do really like coding, even if I'm not in a position where I do it a lot anymore in my current job. However, even if software engineering is my job, I mostly use it to empower other things I'm passionate about. In my case, for a while what I loved to do was making videogame reviews on my channel. Now, I've moved on to making music, acting and voice acting, and that's all going very well (: All of these have always been pretty expensive activities, so having a job like this is really good for supporting other things you're passionate about, like your friends' skiing.
I think maybe that's what you need. Perhaps not to force yourself to have to do coding-related work all day, and instead dedicate your free time to some other things that you can be passionate about, like doing art, and maybe even share them here! There's always some "resistance" from some people when content creators change their content a bit, but at the end of the day you gotta do the content that you enjoy first and foremost, by doing the things you love. Hope you can find that soon enough!
So, whatever you decide to do, I'm all up for it (:
Take care, Tru, and thanks for sharing your thoughts! Stay Tru to yourself.
Also, Scrum Masters don't exist, they're but an urban legend.
❤️❤️❤️ making tech content and forgetting about it is hilarious, I literally can’t explain proxies now if I tried 😂. I definitely want to enjoy content again and i think I’ll do things adjacent but still involving something about programming! I was thinking dumb hardware ideas haha. But thank you so much for your comment ❤️ I gotta check out your video game reviews 👀
@@mewtru looking forward to what you decide 👀 you're welcome, and thank you too! my videos are all mostly in spanish, so they might help you with that 😁
Oh my god this is so damn relatable
You've said it out loud now. I feel exactly the same way.
Programming dumb stuff is my only joy in life. People love throwing mad shade at flash, but making interactive animated content was my jam. We don't get to do that anymore. Everyone is obsessed with stale ass boring corporate user interfaces pumped through 12 committees and a design system rewrite every few years using broken tools that limit creativity to the point where all I get to do is lego other people's work together like a factory worker. AI should take over. It should take that part over. I quit working on UI and frontend, there is no charm left in it for me. Looking forward to more programming dumb stuff videos.
Ok right before the cut to Emperors New Grove, I said this girl is my soulmate and then my favourite kids movie which no one around me likes, comes up and it just sealed the deal (a common saying) for me that I wished she was friends with me. Bit of distance to Melbourne but video calls are a thing. Can relate to you no knowning if you like/love your workstyle or just on a drive to succeed a keep going with it. I do wish I learn't about computers more but as a man I guess I wnated to work after schooling years was done, and now am a qualified mechanic, I have many pathways but very intelligent also, I belived I can do anything. Except making new solid friends!
I think I like coding...I think. But I totally agree with you regarding the part you don't need to be passionate about what you do. It's totally fine finding your passion outside of work.
Thank you for sharing this kinda feeling, idk why but somehow it makes me feel better about my imposter syndrome
Of course!!! I’m glad it helped :)!
"Bless thier indian souls..." Best line ever !!!
Good for you 😊 I needed to hear that myself today. I enjoy coding but I don’t want it to take over my life and require I think about it all the time. I’m trying to just do my best and leave work at work. Feels like lots of pressure most days to be faster and better than the day before and that you have to understand and care about everything. Just going to take it one day at a time 😊
I can relate, I'm more art oriented person, but coding came through my way and looking for the advantages that profession could provide I decided to dive in. but it always feels like something is missing. I recently moved from backend to frontend to experiment new things and kind of like it a bit more regarding the fact that still is coding. I tried to do design classes but I thought it was very hard to grasp something and I could spend all my life trying to be a medium designer, knowing that I'm kind of a good programmer and have such experience and formation.
I hate coding. I like seeing my code succed. Like popping a pimple.
Thank you for this. I feel it so deeply.
I feel this way since I started working as a software developer, and I don’t want to stop working as a developer because of that. In this area we have such a pressure to be “passionate” about our job, and all that I want is to do my work and not making this part of who I am. Thanks for sharing 🙌🏻
Of course!! It's great to have passions outside of work, what's the point of life if work is the only thing you're passionate about ya know
Unsolicited opinion: you're not sweating the small stuff which is GOOD. Very few programmers have the ability to say "yo, this pedantic thing everyone is arguing over is NOT IMPORTANT and NOT WORTH MY TIME." That's rare and extremely valuable.
Hot take: your desire for more followers over more money might not be as irrational as you think. We're starting to learn more and more that success comes from distribution, not hard work, and social reach is the most lucrative distribution channel right now.
i hate this industry. I hate recruiters, picky hiring managers, take homes. I hate the layoffs every 2 years.I hate the job search. I hate scrum. I hate retrospectives. I hate having to record retrospectives that nobody is going to watch.
I feel exactly the same.. And wondering if I should get out or keep going. Finding no joy in the core job, even if I'm in a great company with great people.