I really needed to hear this. She always said she was an avoidant, but she is very machiavellian and has no care if she's doing something that would be considered wrong or immoral by most people. I saw the avoidant traits, but always thought there was more to it from her actions
This is REALLY good information. Mentioning the similar nervous system response explains why so many people associate DAs with narcissism, and why it's pretty much become a buzz word for people who have no idea what it means or what they're talking about. Great video!
This answers a lot of questions! It was indeed a case of covert narcissism layered over a DA, making it too convoluted to sort, while walking over either eggshells or embers. Thank you Thais for proactively addressing our queries and helping us make sense of our experiences with Avoidants to heal ourselves.
😮WOW…OMG…how insightful….Thank you with my whole soul❣️ Now I understand what I went through/dealt with and I don’t feel crazy. God bless you for this important work you are doing and helping others❣️🙏🏼💐
You are truly amazing with all the information that you have, and how you back it up with true evidence from research. Thank you so much for all that you do. You came into my life at just the right timing.
Hi Thais great video! Could you maybe do a video on differences between FA and BPD, especially with a view towards the pendulum between anxious and avoidant vs. splitting ?
My d/a bf just pulled this Story he tells himself about his life choices, that Puts me at fault for unhappiness in his life, decisions at work etc. He put all that on me, then went no contact, leaving me with all this blame.
As a DA, the idea of analyzing other people's emotions in order to manage them sounds incredibly draining. Even analyzing and managing my own is a daunting experience that I would never do if I didn't get overwhelming evidence that those I love are being hurt by my DA blindspots
yes so start being more transparent about your feelings. this is what some DAs put us through it is extremely draining and exhausting and a major turn off...
Great video, thanks! I still have a question though. It seems that the main difference really lies in the intention of the behavior, i get that. However, personally I am in a situation where I am not sure if the person has good or bad intentions or maybe also varying intentions. Do you have a few more tips to really get to know the intentions of a person? I seem to struggle with that. Also if someone als has an idea please help. Maybe one example: The person is havily using intermittend reinforcement. When I adress it the needle moves. However it moves very slowly and the person is also complaining when I say that it's still not enough. Other example: the person let's the needle move more and more, I think we are slooowly going towards a relationship. Then the person tells me waaayyy to late that he has a girlfriend (after holding hands and snuggeling in a shared airbnb) buuut is also showing ablot if remorse when getting to know that i had feelings. May this be hinting to something in between? Maybe even BPD? How does this sound to you?
Why is this a matter of either/or? What if the avoidant has npd , bpd and or other cluster B disorders and is machiavellic ? Aren't cluster B disorders more common amongst avoidants? How do you discern between an avoidant with those deficiencies and one without ?
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
I learnt the hard way that saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult when a 12-year relationship ends. But I was unable to let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counsellor, and he was able to assist me in getting him back.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
There are a few overlaps here. My Avoidant wife severe avoidant traits, used me to get her masters in Nursing, then pulled the pin on our marriage once she graduated (Machiavellian). She was cheating on me, graving attention (narcissism). As well as lacking empathy, and I was forced to leave our home that I had paid for to become homeless (psychopathy). Just shit, shit and shit, stay away from Avoidants.
10:30 - its called gtf over it and sto being a selfish vampire, regardless of how unintentional it is. DAs and everyone else are always only excused until the sexond they are made aware or have their forst issue with it with another person. Every koment after that moment, any damage caused is 100% intentional regardless of how they connect to another person based on if they stay stuck in a victim mindset and dont bother to get better or of they actually do the very easy work of acting like a healthy and not evil seeming individual. Coming from an FA who easily abodes naturaply by that same standard. DA are the only people i know (when not worked on) that i constantly have to convince therapists they are NOT narcissists before i have to drop it. Which is hilarious to me that i have to defend somene i once cared about even though i hate them lol.
Coming in as a woman who has been FA for almost my entire life, our attachment style can be FAR worse partners than DA's. Unhealed FA's at times lack emotional self-control and have a confusing flip between anxious and avoidant. To say a DA is worse makes me giggle. We have a ton of healing to do on our part before we proudly take that win over a DA. Lol
@@LeeChrissy DA behaviour, values and emotional responses are abnormal and self-harming according to neurobiology. their entire perception of life is wrong, I don't have time to go into details it will take pages and I don't care enough for it. A DA whom is aware of their attachment style and is not willing to put in the work to heal is not even worth mentioning altogether. Their dezaxated values are due to them being so holistically disconnected from themselves.
![⭐️( ลอยกระทง 2024 ) Ver. แดนซ์ Remix BY [ ดีเจกิต รีมิกซ์ ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/rMWOLhgXUHc/mqdefault.jpg)
My favorite quote is
“You have to take care of your nervous system”.
Step dad was a psychopath, my mom and ex husband are narcissists. Graduated to an Avoidant boyfriend.😭🤣 Thank you Thais❤️🙏
😂
Ha ha, same
I really needed to hear this. She always said she was an avoidant, but she is very machiavellian and has no care if she's doing something that would be considered wrong or immoral by most people. I saw the avoidant traits, but always thought there was more to it from her actions
Same with my ex, I thought she was a DA. Looking back I'm thinking she was more of a covert narcissist.
This is REALLY good information. Mentioning the similar nervous system response explains why so many people associate DAs with narcissism, and why it's pretty much become a buzz word for people who have no idea what it means or what they're talking about. Great video!
Yeah, narcissism is too nice of a word. Evil fits better
@@brennenh3457 not sure what you mean this, I need context
@@brennenh3457 evil meaning what? DA's can be mad cool. Avoidant women are some of the best partners.
This answers a lot of questions!
It was indeed a case of covert narcissism layered over a DA, making it too convoluted to sort, while walking over either eggshells or embers.
Thank you Thais for proactively addressing our queries and helping us make sense of our experiences with Avoidants to heal ourselves.
It's so important to not accept guilt or shame from someone. I like using that mindfulness book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniels.
Thais Gibson was AWESOME in this video!!!
read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.
What im missing in this video is that Avoidents depends on the heaviness on the scale have narcesistic traits just with another intention
😮WOW…OMG…how insightful….Thank you with my whole soul❣️ Now I understand what I went through/dealt with and I don’t feel crazy. God bless you for this important work you are doing and helping others❣️🙏🏼💐
This is so valuable.
You are truly amazing with all the information that you have, and how you back it up with true evidence from research. Thank you so much for all that you do. You came into my life at just the right timing.
Hi Thais great video!
Could you maybe do a video on differences between FA and BPD, especially with a view towards the pendulum between anxious and avoidant vs. splitting ?
This is scary.
My d/a bf just pulled this Story he tells himself about his life choices, that Puts me at fault for unhappiness in his life, decisions at work etc. He put all that on me, then went no contact, leaving me with all this blame.
Dark Tetrad now. Includes Sadism
this format really suits me
As a DA, the idea of analyzing other people's emotions in order to manage them sounds incredibly draining. Even analyzing and managing my own is a daunting experience that I would never do if I didn't get overwhelming evidence that those I love are being hurt by my DA blindspots
yes so start being more transparent about your feelings. this is what some DAs put us through it is extremely draining and exhausting and a major turn off...
Great video!! ❤
really liked this video
Great video, thanks! I still have a question though. It seems that the main difference really lies in the intention of the behavior, i get that. However, personally I am in a situation where I am not sure if the person has good or bad intentions or maybe also varying intentions. Do you have a few more tips to really get to know the intentions of a person? I seem to struggle with that. Also if someone als has an idea please help.
Maybe one example: The person is havily using intermittend reinforcement. When I adress it the needle moves. However it moves very slowly and the person is also complaining when I say that it's still not enough.
Other example: the person let's the needle move more and more, I think we are slooowly going towards a relationship. Then the person tells me waaayyy to late that he has a girlfriend (after holding hands and snuggeling in a shared airbnb) buuut is also showing ablot if remorse when getting to know that i had feelings.
May this be hinting to something in between? Maybe even BPD? How does this sound to you?
Why is this a matter of either/or? What if the avoidant has npd , bpd and or other cluster B disorders and is machiavellic ? Aren't cluster B disorders more common amongst avoidants? How do you discern between an avoidant with those deficiencies and one without ?
Intent, at least to the extent you can measure it.
@@BurnerChannel-dt2mt with what measuring stick? you're acting like avoidants always make their intents clear.
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
I learnt the hard way that saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult when a 12-year relationship ends. But I was unable to let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counsellor, and he was able to assist me in getting him back.
Interesting-sounding! How can I most efficiently get in contact with a spiritual counsellor that you recommended?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
There are a few overlaps here. My Avoidant wife severe avoidant traits, used me to get her masters in Nursing, then pulled the pin on our marriage once she graduated (Machiavellian). She was cheating on me, graving attention (narcissism). As well as lacking empathy, and I was forced to leave our home that I had paid for to become homeless (psychopathy).
Just shit, shit and shit, stay away from Avoidants.
I find the transitions at the start really triggering. 😂 If you pause the video at 41 seconds and frame skip around you’ll see what I mean. 👽
best!!!
10:30 - its called gtf over it and sto being a selfish vampire, regardless of how unintentional it is.
DAs and everyone else are always only excused until the sexond they are made aware or have their forst issue with it with another person. Every koment after that moment, any damage caused is 100% intentional regardless of how they connect to another person based on if they stay stuck in a victim mindset and dont bother to get better or of they actually do the very easy work of acting like a healthy and not evil seeming individual. Coming from an FA who easily abodes naturaply by that same standard. DA are the only people i know (when not worked on) that i constantly have to convince therapists they are NOT narcissists before i have to drop it. Which is hilarious to me that i have to defend somene i once cared about even though i hate them lol.
Coming in as a woman who has been FA for almost my entire life, our attachment style can be FAR worse partners than DA's. Unhealed FA's at times lack emotional self-control and have a confusing flip between anxious and avoidant. To say a DA is worse makes me giggle. We have a ton of healing to do on our part before we proudly take that win over a DA. Lol
@@LeeChrissy DA behaviour, values and emotional responses are abnormal and self-harming according to neurobiology. their entire perception of life is wrong, I don't have time to go into details it will take pages and I don't care enough for it. A DA whom is aware of their attachment style and is not willing to put in the work to heal is not even worth mentioning altogether. Their dezaxated values are due to them being so holistically disconnected from themselves.
this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in ebook magnetic aura from Borlest
Spam