Incorrect I always thought Randall was a selfish asshole who had a messiah complex just as Kevin said. "The Randall Show" that perfectly sums up his entire personality on this show nothing can ever be still he has to be special l for some reason
What Rebecca said at the end was proof that she didnt have a high EQ (like most parents). The reason he was a sullen teenager is because she favored Randall as a child. She wasn't in tuned with Kevin growing up. Listen, you have a difficult child, then you find out what's beneath the surface.
The children are so focused on their own trauma, that they don’t know the what Rebecca went through after Jack died. How she had to pick up the broken pieces that will never be a whole family’s picture again.
I think both Kate and Kevin, maybe inadvertently so, maybe not, were so comfortable in their biological connection to their mom that, as Rebecca said, one moved away after their dad died and one was just perpetually angry. Randall felt like he had to earn his spot every minute
I’m gonna add a different take. I agree that Randall probably felt like he needed to earn their love. But I’m gonna say that’s just Randall. He overthinks, overplans, has and wants to be the adult in the room. He’s a control freak. He’s the only one who didn’t get to grieve Jack and that’s Rebecca fault. She’s so used to him taking care of things that she didn’t take the time to realize that Randall was putting a lot of pressure on himself to keep their house in order. Kevin and Kate had completely normal reactions to their father passing. It has nothing to do with them being biologically related. But more that they were being teens who were grieving
@@1tim3_JB and that's another viewpoint. But Theres no way to determine what's "just Randall" and how Randall became BECAUSE he was adopted because we have no way of knowing how he'd have been if he had been raised by his bio parents. personally I don't think he'd be an over thinker if he was raised by William and Laurel because I don't think there would've been that extra "weight" of feeling he has to prove himself every minute because he's adopted
@@1tim3_JBI'm gonna have to disagree with "normal" reactions to their dad dying. Abandoning their mother or becoming perpetually angry at her because her husband died was not healthy or justified reactions. Just like they needed comfort and coping so did she and blaming or ignoring a mother who was just as loving and kind to you as your father you lost is not normal or okay. They also get mad at Randall foe being the "favorite" when of course their mother is closer to him when he was the only one who stayed and took care of her in her time of need. He became her rock when her other children rejected her and she was a grieving widow that's not something you easily let go of or grow apart from
People saying that Kevin is the bad guy or that Rebecca is. Hello, this is a family who’s been through a LOT and kept everything inside and now they let everything out. No one is the bad guy here.
The thing is is that Kevin was a child and Rebecca was the adult. Same thing goes for Jack to a degree. Thus more onus was put on both of them. Also Kevin basically told them how he felt in that pool scene and they ignored it. They talk a lot about how they’re three different kids with three different needs and the thing is is that they completely neglected Kevin’s number one need and that was more attention. Also Randall was aware of it too. Remember when he pretended not to be good at math. He said “If I get A’s, then I’ll get ice cream and Kevin and Kate will hate me.” Both of those things should have been a wake up call.
@@briesullivan883 oh that math scene was heartbreaking :( good point about Randall; makes sense why he had so much anxiety! He knew he was the golden child. Also the thing about Kate; I do think her addiction to food was a way to connect with her dad, and her mother treating Kate as an extension of her, and Kate feeling like she would never measure up to her mother, and stuffing herself with food as a way to numb her emotions, and feel a connection to her dad. (This episode really highlighted Kate’s roots to food addiction.. it always bothered me that Rebecca always criticized her singing like she was a vocal coach instead of a mother… her singer aspirations didn’t come true, so she lived vicariously through Kate.)
The kids had their own insecurities and even for Rebecca who is an absolutely amazing human, it was difficult to follow up with all of them and it's understandable because she had so much to cope up with after Jack passing away and she's only human. This is what I like about this show because it's very realistic but also they show how these amazing humans really sit through their discomfort to meet each other on the other side. Love this show!
Notice no one in the family system wants to acknowledge the flaws of the patriarch of the home; No one wants to acknowledge the pain in the family system. Kevin was the only one who saw the flaws, the rest of his family didn't want to acknowledge. He's the "lost boy" and the scapegoat of the family system, instead, he is classified as the problem, and he numbs that with addiction to seek a sense of control and validation. This was scene was profound and relatable. Scapegoat in my family system. Notice how Kate pushes him to talk about his grief, but then no one allows Kevin to actually talk about how he feels? The only acceptable feelings for their father is admiration. When only good feelings are allowed, this leads to addiction. Pain escaping and resisting is the root of so many drinking addictions.
Kevin will always be my favorite character, no one likes the realist of the family. Disassociation is a big thing in families these type of children are neglected massively
Maybe that's because she showered Randall with attention and praise but made Kevin feel neglected. I love Rebecca, I think she was an amazing mother, but she made some impactful mistakes, as all mothers do.
@@nevermindmyname813 it wasn’t intentional though . I love Kevin but he was a kid and made sure to feel Randall reminded he was adopted and was also one of his bullies growing up . Rebecca overcompensated too . Even adult Kevin finally admits in later seasons that he was jealous and wanted to take down Randall “A peg “
@@cynthiazavala4507 Who do you think caused that resentment? Randall knew it a long time ago and the parents never caught on. Kevin is by far, the best example of parents being overwhelmed and ignoring 1 of their children. When Rebecca said "he was just easier!" That's admitting she wanted the easy way out. That's admitting she gave up on Kevin so she could have at least 1 child who loves her. Funny enough, the child she ignored is the one who takes care of her every need later on, the thing she failed to do for him. It's unfortunate, but Rebecca chose herself over her kids until she got older in life, but even then she still wouldn't be honest with them
Okay never comment but saying after years of therapy Kevin is extremely valid in his feelings. He had no connection to his mom outside of being her son. She never had any emotional repercussions with him as she does with say Randall or Kate bc the bond isn’t that deep. I really really feel for him.
It's funny when I first started watching this show, I thought it was too soapy and kind of flat. So I would hate-watch it. But pretty quickly my hate watching turned into like-watching which ultimately transformed into love-watching. This show is the result of consistently excellent writing, acting, and cinematography.
True words , calmly spoken. But still love what Fogelman, the show-runner and creator of all of this stated.He was asked why he thinks , that this show was such a success.he answered: "There is a form of storytelling - a tone - that lives in between the laugh and the [heavy] emotion. If you hit that tone right, it can be everything." Always thout that this answer also was flawlessly great.
Mandy has to be really careful crying with all of those prosthetics on her face lol....but she STILL is a rock star regardless in all these scenes 👏🏻👏🏻😊
And? You don't get a dog and cry later because it chewed your shoes Kids are assholes because they are yet to learn filters and second/third thoughts like adults have been learning for decades. If the much older mother is able to abandon their teen son for another one because it is "easier path", why then complain that a TEEN chose an easier path when confronted with responsibility that was dumped on him not taken willingly?
I feel this so much. My siblings think the same. That im the favorite child. Thing is, i was always just easier. I didnt and still dont cause trouble. Thats it. So to be looked down on because of that by your siblings, and to be treated like shit.. is just unfair. But i know its their own insecurity that makes them think and react like that. Not saying its okay, cuz it sure isnt. But yeah.. its shit. As long as im not a burden to my parents, its good.
i was the easier for 24 years, and then i graduated from university and moved 3 states away from my parents and now i just go back home once a year, because i feel sooo sooo tired
Rebecca did not love Randall more than Kevin or Kate. Just because she said Randall was easier doesn't mean the love she had for him was stronger. I think she was trying to say that it was easier to form a bond with Randall. It might come off as harsh depending on how you receive it, but it was meant to be honest not hurtful. Parents are human and they don't always form a friendly connection with their kids. Not because they don't love them or from lack of effort, but because sometimes it's hard to connect to someone when you have very different personalities and very little in common. Kevin was a tough kid for her to connect with; he wasn't super affectionate with her and he didn't sit around reading books with her like Randall. I think Rebecca was also holding onto the fact that Kevin didn’t stick around after Jack died so she probably has a little bit of resentment there and has never communicated that. However, Kevin was right for bringing up the fact that he felt she loved Randall more. Sadly, Kevin was definitely the kid that got overlooked because his problems (at least to his parents) weren't as overt as Kate or Randall's problems. He had already gone through some therapy at this point in the show and he finally wanted to lay out everything he'd been discussing in therapy. He probably got heated because it's something he's kept inside for years and now that he's finally letting it out it seems like no one in his family wants to confront some of the deeper issues that they ALL have. Granted yelling didn't ease them into it. He was just tired of every one avoiding their problems. To sum it up, no one was the bad guy in this scene (except maybe Randall for trying to walk out of the session lol not cool).
I am really confused. Kate didn't go to college and ended up staying with Rebecca for a period of time after that. In the recent flashbacks we see her with Kate more after Jack's death not Randall.
I haven't saw all the show, but I think que das refering more that Kevin is the one who go away and Randall the one that stay, she may had forgot Kate because of the adrenaline
Although Kate stayed, she was so mean to Rebecca. Of course, everyone was grieving and this tv show is the perfect example that not everyone griefs the same. But at that time, Kate could have been nicer and empathetic to her mom but she choose to isolate and be mean. Can´t blame her, tho. She was just a teenanger who just lost her beloved father and both her brothers move out of home.
Kevin did not move away and abandon her after his father died. He left as most 18 years old do and he tried to move on with his life despite his circumstances. It's admirable that Randall stayed close... but it was a sacrifice he chose to make. Kevin should not have been expected to do the same. We all deal with grief differently. It's unfair of her to compare them. I understand her pain. But it resulted in a resentment her son obviously felt and that wasn't fair to him.
no, Kevin was an antagonistic child. his parents never showed him anything but love and kindness. but he was moody and arrogant and very self-absorbed, not to mention capable of cruelty. he even admitted himself he went out of his way to bully Randall because he wanted to knock him down a few pegs as he felt their parents favoured him so heavily. i like Kevin, i think he's an interesting character and i love him in later seasons...but Rebecca's hurt stems from much more than him deciding to move away after Jack died.
@@jillmayer9501 why are you pointing out ONE specific moment of jack/rebecca being distracted as if it automatically means they 'loved him less'? they were parents to triplets! caring for one kid is hard enough - remember how kate fell off the bed because rebecca fell asleep - but caring for 3 at the same time means there will inevitably be moments where mom and dad are distracted and swamped and something slips them.
@@30251 Kevin was always neglected, he was always the forgotten child. Already at the beginning in the pool episode (s1e4) it is perfectly described by kevin. Why is it always about Kate not being thin enough or randall not feeling adopted, but it is never about me. He nearly drowned while is father was coddling kate and his mother poor randall. And its funny how she said randall was the easy child, when in all flashbacks when they are little they only talk about randalls or kates problems , but not once about kevin. Only in their teens Kevin started to rebell in order to get their attention. He was so desperate to be seen by his parents, that any attention was a reward for him, even when they scolded him.
I know where Rebecca is coming at but just because one child is easier doesn’t mean you stop trying or stop trying to help your child… Kevin is right what did you guys just you too have?? Yeah he left but do you blame him his father died…
Rebecca has NEVER stopped trying. Not once. Not when Kate and Kevin were kids. Not when they were teenagers and definitely not as adults. But just because Kevin is her son, that doesn't mean he's a child anymore. He moved across the country at 18. Rebecca couldn't chase him down and drag him back could she? And we've seen that as adults whenever Rebecca tries to help or be around either of them, they brush her off or ignore her or (repeatedly in adult Kate's case) bite her head off completely. Kevin is very flippant with his mom. Even if he doesn't actively dislike her the way Kate seems to, he REALLY isn't warm to her. And on top of that he hates Rebecca's second husband and lets it be known all the time. What on earth more can Rebecca do to cultivate a deep connection with this adult son of hers? Kevin isn't a child. He needs to own up and TRY himself.
Kevin was an arrogant jerk most his childhood esp teenage years. Lol if watched the series Rebecca always did best supported him he always was jealous or Randall who wanted Kevin attention but Kevin always a douche lmao so to speak.
Rebecca always showed favoritism towards Randall and as a child growing up that affected Kevin. They try to portray Kevin as the bad guy but truly he has been through some things and he felt alone at times even with his family.
it is not that simple though. Kevin is kind of the black sheep of the house. He notices littlest things in the house because nobody paid attention to him because his parents, in his word, were too busy "making sure Randall to feel not too adopted & Kate to feel not too fat" that theu didnt even notice him drowning in the pool calling for help. that goes for Randall too, he spent his life, even putting his dreams aside at one point, showing gratitude for the parents that "rescued" him that He nevee even asked about his background and identity because that would be too 'ungrateful' of him. it was sense of duty of both Randall & Rebecca in the first time. She was scared baby Randall wouldnt like her that She spent most of her time on him. and how distant her 2 other kids were to her made the love bonding stronger for Randall and Rebecca
Kevin treated Randall horribly growing up and wouldn’t even speak to him at school and called him Webster! Kate resented her because of her weight! Randall was the only child who she seem to have the most in common with.. Kevin was a jerk simple as that🤷🏽♀️
Kevin não é mal, é egocêntrico. Isso prejudicou a relação dele com todos, menos com a Kate pq são gêmeos, mas até Kate já deu puxada de orelha nele. Entendo a Rebecca quando ela diz que com o Randall era fácil, afinal, qualquer gesto dela com ele era bem recebido, já com Kate e Kevin ela tinha que lutar pra conquistar, era mais criticada. E mesmo tendo sido mais fácil, ela errou com Randall também, tentando o proteger, sem falar do pai biológico. Mães erram. Agora Kevin era um pestinha, se sumiu no cinema, ia pras festas e se encrencava, bebia, traiu a Sophie, se mudou em um momento delicado, não aceitava o Miguel... Foi um afastamento que ele ajudou a criar.
I don't think the show portrays him as a bad, I think they actually did a great job of showing all the intricacies of a family dynamic. And in Kevin's case, he felt neglected by his parents. We saw how they grow up, and anyone who says that the problems Kevin is bringing up is just him being purely ungrateful must not have been paying attention.
As the Kevin in my family, I understand Rebecca's point but it's not fair. She's blaming him for what he did as a teenager instead of focusing on who he is as an adult. This is every argument between me and my parents even with all my siblings and I grown up and moved out.
I have 2 children. My son is only 8 and I can see him turning out to be like Kevin. Some people just have a personality like Kevin where they feel so hard done by even if they have the most wonderful and supportive life .
People just dont feel things. There's always a reason behind that. Trust me personal experience. Doesn't matter if you think your son has the most wonderful life. What matters is how he feels. Talk to him about this now. Try to understand him. Or else this stays with him for life. And he never talks about it untill its too late.
You sound as if you're already writing your child off. I'm sorry but that's awful. As a parent, you should realize that you aren't perfect and that YOU are the biggest impact on your child's wellbeing and perception of the world/family/his feelings/etc. If you can already see signs, at eight years old it's not too late help him and turn it around. I urge you take your ego out of the situation and work with your child to understand why they feel the way they do. Because hate to break it to you, but it probably has more to do with you and whoever else is helping to raise him than you think.
@@nevermindmyname813 that's ok baby I dont take advice from judgemental people on the internet, anyway, who feel anything about a person they've never met or have never seen, heard of or ever interacted with.
“Think about it from Kevin’s..” Yea. But as someone who was the favorite child. I totally get her. I was much easier than my siblings and was hated for years behind that. My siblings never thought about how cruel they were to my Mom and how they pushed her away, only to complain that they didn’t get as much attention and didn’t feel the same love. I chocked it up a long time ago to poor communication and cognizance. They only considered how things affected them. But children are inherently selfish, which is why these things can be traumatic. But even into adulthood, those same children cannot understand the difficulties of raising difficult children.
Rebecca não era uma mãe perfeita. Eu acho muito bom todos os direitos que estão sendo conquistados.Filho nenhum tem obrigação de dar netos, ter um bom trabalho, ser hetero para honrar os pais. Mas não acho que seja um direito simplesmente sumir do mapa.Nunca mais querer nem saber como eles estão.Uma pessoa que se conhece desde criança. È muita crueldade.Tem que se esforçar para se dar bem.
@@lilken3890 I disagree. She may have felt guilty about that but she didn’t love him more. She and him connected and bonded over similar interests. Randall was an easier child than Kevin. Kevin threw a fit whenever things didn’t go his way and Kate always went to her dad when her mom refused to give in to her wants. Randall for the most part was easier to handle. He tried to be there for his siblings (like when he purposely performed poorly in school), he did what he could to spare his parents feelings. Favouring a child doesn’t mean you love them more.
This is a really good example of toxic family dynamics Kevin- the lost child Randall-the golden child Kate- scapegoat? You can even see Rebecca here "he was just easier!!" Randall, the golden child, she gave extra attention and love to, to make him not feel like an outsider. He also goes along with whatever Rebecca is doing "Didn't abandon me and move away after his father died?" You mean go to college and start his adult life? It's hard Rebecca, but remember as parents we owe our children EVERYTHING and they owe us nothing. She's an adult woman, she should not be relying on her children emotionally. Get a therapist!
Teenagers will be assholes, thats what they are born to be, and you can't expect a kid, even less a teen struggling with not being a kid but not being an adult to handle grief better than his own mother. Why did he recoil, why did he brood, why did he left? A child that is loved and made feel safe, to be made feel he is a son and doesn't have to play a part that doesn't belong to him would never leave
Bullshit. Kevin was the golden boy at school, which turned him into a selfish self-absorbed ass who wanted the same attention at home. When he didn't get it, he got mad. Any time Randall got ANY attention, he was mean to him. Randall even stopped getting A's for a while so that Kevin would be nice to him. Kevin reminds me of my older sister. She is 4 years older than me and remembers when she got all the focus. She resented me and bullied me until she left home because our mom didn't continue to solely focus on her. Back to Kevin who got mad because his parents didn't dote on him and ignore the other children. He pushed her away long before Jack died so it wasn't grief; it was entitlement. What was she supposed to do? Ignore the other children for him and never recognize their achievements because that is what Kevin wanted? You can't reject someone and then get mad when you don't have a relationship with them. Rebecca is human and got tired of chasing him. Newsflash: if you want a relationship with someone, you have to actively participate.
i agree w you entirely but i think kevin was also a bit of a dick to randall throughout their childhood so i also see why randall acted this way towards kevin when he grew up
@@reethekka Kevin was a dick at times but there was also quite a few occasions where Randall was throwing the first punch and jack and Rebecca didn’t do anything about it. So if Kevin acted like a little bastard .. it wasn’t just for no reason.
Randall was so annoying in this episode. I started the show loving Randall (still do), but he started feeling like he was always right and perfect... Also, the family worshipped Jack, Kevin brought up the fact that Jack had issues with alcohol and everybody freaked out, but he did hahaha And that shouldn't make him less awesome.
everyone is saying that Rebecca loved all her children equally and she was a good kother...no doubt she was a good kother...there is no comparison..and the best can still have flaws that said i think kevin was completely valid with his feelings and he doesn't need his mom to love him equally he just needs her to admit what is already cery clear so he can make peace with it
Randall had no right interjecting when kevin was talking to Rebeca about his feelings. Kevin didn't interject when randall and Rebeca doscussed about her keeping william a secret
What Rebecca said at the end was proof that she didnt have a high EQ (like most parents). The reason he was a sullen teenager is because she favored Randall as a child. She wasn't in tuned with Kevin growing up. Listen, you have a difficult child, then you find out what's beneath the surface.
Still doesnt answer the question though. He was easier to love we got it. The fact that you cant answer the question of the connection to you son is crazy. He moved away after highschool and abandoned you, its not his job to stay and put the beginning of his life on hold. All that shit sounded like a bunch of gas lighting.
Sigh. That is why she never told him that or made him feel guilty for leaving. She is allowed to feel her feelings FFS. That doesn't make them right. Kevin was an asshole to her his entire teenage years and then moved away and never looked back. Randall stayed in the area and now Kevin's mad that he and Rebecca aren't as close? It's not his job to stay, but he is a grown ass man who needs to own his part in the breakdown of their relationship.
I'm really surprised by the comments sections' refusal to see Kevin's side jaut because Rebecca cries. Surely the parent is more responsible foe wrongdoing here than the child??
Jack and Rebecca always loved Randall more in a bid to overcompensate for his colour and the fact that he was adopted. Turned him into a self centred monster.
@@BF649 eu não sei de onde o povo tira q o Randall é um monstro , o cara trocou de faculdade pra estar perto da mãe , cuidou dela como se ela fosse uma criança pq ela precisava disso no momento e ele é o Monstro🙄
He’s not self-centered. That is Kevin all the way. Can Randall be a bit self-involved and short sighted? Yes, but so is everyone else. He gave up his dream of attending Howard to support his mother instead of fleeing at the first chance he got. He was so excited to attend a school where he would be surrounded by people who looked like him for the first time in his life and he did it for his mom. If that’s selfish, I hate to see what you think of as selfless. He didn’t get married without telling his mom and rob her of the opportunity to watch her child get married. And while he wasn’t exactly comfortable with his mom marrying Miguel, he didn’t actively dismiss Miguel’s relationship to his mom. Rebecca and Jack didn’t love Randall more. There’s a difference between favouring/paying attention and loving a child more. It’s apparent they loved their kids equally, but Kate and Randall’s issues were visible.
@@1212blw i think (and sorry for my poor english, its not my first language) that everything what he said in this episode is true. And look at his therapist, she also knows. This thing with "not having father at weddings etc" - Rebecca truly forget about her third child :( The thing is, even when you have great family, you can be lonely, unhappy. I like this episode and I'm really sad when people said about Kevin that he's vilain, he's egoistic etc. Every person, who had/has therapy knows this from experience - your family and friends are "suprised" when you, after many hours of talking with specialists, comunicated something that they dont see or dont want to see.
@@mil8834 if you watch the show now, you would know she is starting to have dementia. You can’t blame her for not having an example with him. The only bad thing that has happened to him that was bad in his child hood was the death of his father. Nothing bad has happened in his life should have left him into being a drug addict to the point where he needed therapy.
Kate represented the audience throughout this moment.
Well said.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Incorrect I always thought Randall was a selfish asshole who had a messiah complex just as Kevin said. "The Randall Show" that perfectly sums up his entire personality on this show nothing can ever be still he has to be special l for some reason
What Rebecca said at the end was proof that she didnt have a high EQ (like most parents). The reason he was a sullen teenager is because she favored Randall as a child. She wasn't in tuned with Kevin growing up.
Listen, you have a difficult child, then you find out what's beneath the surface.
The children are so focused on their own trauma, that they don’t know the what Rebecca went through after Jack died. How she had to pick up the broken pieces that will never be a whole family’s picture again.
This is by far one of the best scenes of the show!!
I think both Kate and Kevin, maybe inadvertently so, maybe not, were so comfortable in their biological connection to their mom that, as Rebecca said, one moved away after their dad died and one was just perpetually angry. Randall felt like he had to earn his spot every minute
Very interesting take!
I’m gonna add a different take. I agree that Randall probably felt like he needed to earn their love. But I’m gonna say that’s just Randall. He overthinks, overplans, has and wants to be the adult in the room. He’s a control freak. He’s the only one who didn’t get to grieve Jack and that’s Rebecca fault. She’s so used to him taking care of things that she didn’t take the time to realize that Randall was putting a lot of pressure on himself to keep their house in order.
Kevin and Kate had completely normal reactions to their father passing. It has nothing to do with them being biologically related. But more that they were being teens who were grieving
@@1tim3_JB and that's another viewpoint. But Theres no way to determine what's "just Randall" and how Randall became BECAUSE he was adopted because we have no way of knowing how he'd have been if he had been raised by his bio parents. personally I don't think he'd be an over thinker if he was raised by William and Laurel because I don't think there would've been that extra "weight" of feeling he has to prove himself every minute because he's adopted
Randall and Beth had such a deep connection tbh.
@@1tim3_JBI'm gonna have to disagree with "normal" reactions to their dad dying. Abandoning their mother or becoming perpetually angry at her because her husband died was not healthy or justified reactions. Just like they needed comfort and coping so did she and blaming or ignoring a mother who was just as loving and kind to you as your father you lost is not normal or okay. They also get mad at Randall foe being the "favorite" when of course their mother is closer to him when he was the only one who stayed and took care of her in her time of need. He became her rock when her other children rejected her and she was a grieving widow that's not something you easily let go of or grow apart from
People saying that Kevin is the bad guy or that Rebecca is. Hello, this is a family who’s been through a LOT and kept everything inside and now they let everything out. No one is the bad guy here.
Yes. People just being people.
Like a real family, everyone screwing up and saying things they don't want to say
The thing is is that Kevin was a child and Rebecca was the adult. Same thing goes for Jack to a degree. Thus more onus was put on both of them. Also Kevin basically told them how he felt in that pool scene and they ignored it. They talk a lot about how they’re three different kids with three different needs and the thing is is that they completely neglected Kevin’s number one need and that was more attention. Also Randall was aware of it too. Remember when he pretended not to be good at math. He said “If I get A’s, then I’ll get ice cream and Kevin and Kate will hate me.” Both of those things should have been a wake up call.
💯
@@briesullivan883 oh that math scene was heartbreaking :( good point about Randall; makes sense why he had so much anxiety! He knew he was the golden child.
Also the thing about Kate; I do think her addiction to food was a way to connect with her dad, and her mother treating Kate as an extension of her, and Kate feeling like she would never measure up to her mother, and stuffing herself with food as a way to numb her emotions, and feel a connection to her dad. (This episode really highlighted Kate’s roots to food addiction.. it always bothered me that Rebecca always criticized her singing like she was a vocal coach instead of a mother… her singer aspirations didn’t come true, so she lived vicariously through Kate.)
I still cry every time I watch this scene
No matter how many times i watch this scene, I always get chills and cry...so powerful. So well done.
Best scene in This is US. Kevin, Rebecca and Randall were amazing. Great actors.
Now that I am a mother I can feel how hard it was for Rebecca to cope up with everything.I think she was a wonderful mother..❤️
Rebecca was nothing but a good mother to her children
Who said she wasn't?....
Ummmmm, no? The way she treated Kate for quite a while wasn’t ok
yes, they are always complaning about their parents (rebecca and jack), and they were such amazing parents to them-
The kids had their own insecurities and even for Rebecca who is an absolutely amazing human, it was difficult to follow up with all of them and it's understandable because she had so much to cope up with after Jack passing away and she's only human. This is what I like about this show because it's very realistic but also they show how these amazing humans really sit through their discomfort to meet each other on the other side. Love this show!
@@belhlv They hardly ever complained about Jack
Notice no one in the family system wants to acknowledge the flaws of the patriarch of the home; No one wants to acknowledge the pain in the family system. Kevin was the only one who saw the flaws, the rest of his family didn't want to acknowledge. He's the "lost boy" and the scapegoat of the family system, instead, he is classified as the problem, and he numbs that with addiction to seek a sense of control and validation. This was scene was profound and relatable.
Scapegoat in my family system.
Notice how Kate pushes him to talk about his grief, but then no one allows Kevin to actually talk about how he feels? The only acceptable feelings for their father is admiration. When only good feelings are allowed, this leads to addiction. Pain escaping and resisting is the root of so many drinking addictions.
true
Kevin will always be my favorite character, no one likes the realist of the family. Disassociation is a big thing in families these type of children are neglected massively
Rebecca made some valid points here. As kids, Randall was usually easier than Kevin
Maybe that's because she showered Randall with attention and praise but made Kevin feel neglected. I love Rebecca, I think she was an amazing mother, but she made some impactful mistakes, as all mothers do.
@@nevermindmyname813 Her first mistake was thinking that she never had to worry about Kevin
@@joewhitehead3 definitely
@@nevermindmyname813 it wasn’t intentional though . I love Kevin but he was a kid and made sure to feel Randall reminded he was adopted and was also one of his bullies growing up . Rebecca overcompensated too . Even adult Kevin finally admits in later seasons that he was jealous and wanted to take down Randall “A peg “
@@cynthiazavala4507
Who do you think caused that resentment? Randall knew it a long time ago and the parents never caught on. Kevin is by far, the best example of parents being overwhelmed and ignoring 1 of their children. When Rebecca said "he was just easier!" That's admitting she wanted the easy way out. That's admitting she gave up on Kevin so she could have at least 1 child who loves her. Funny enough, the child she ignored is the one who takes care of her every need later on, the thing she failed to do for him. It's unfortunate, but Rebecca chose herself over her kids until she got older in life, but even then she still wouldn't be honest with them
Okay never comment but saying after years of therapy Kevin is extremely valid in his feelings. He had no connection to his mom outside of being her son. She never had any emotional repercussions with him as she does with say Randall or Kate bc the bond isn’t that deep. I really really feel for him.
Ikr. People in the comment section don't even see through Kevin's pov
It's funny when I first started watching this show, I thought it was too soapy and kind of flat. So I would hate-watch it. But pretty quickly my hate watching turned into like-watching which ultimately transformed into love-watching. This show is the result of consistently excellent writing, acting, and cinematography.
True words , calmly spoken.
But still love what Fogelman, the show-runner and creator of all of this stated.He was asked why he thinks , that this show was such a success.he answered:
"There is a form of storytelling - a tone - that lives in between the laugh and the [heavy] emotion. If you hit that tone right, it can be everything."
Always thout that this answer also was flawlessly great.
I feel like Beth needed to hear what Kevin said about Tess. Beth was so stuck up in this episode. Having her in therapy would have been interesting.
Mandy has to be really careful crying with all of those prosthetics on her face lol....but she STILL is a rock star regardless in all these scenes 👏🏻👏🏻😊
IMO just because she said Randall was easiest doesn’t mean she favors him above the others. Great acting by Mandy Moore
As children we forget that sometimes we were assholes to our parents
And? You don't get a dog and cry later because it chewed your shoes
Kids are assholes because they are yet to learn filters and second/third thoughts like adults have been learning for decades.
If the much older mother is able to abandon their teen son for another one because it is "easier path", why then complain that a TEEN chose an easier path when confronted with responsibility that was dumped on him not taken willingly?
I wish the avatars had a therapist session like this
I feel this so much. My siblings think the same. That im the favorite child. Thing is, i was always just easier. I didnt and still dont cause trouble. Thats it. So to be looked down on because of that by your siblings, and to be treated like shit.. is just unfair. But i know its their own insecurity that makes them think and react like that. Not saying its okay, cuz it sure isnt. But yeah.. its shit. As long as im not a burden to my parents, its good.
i was the easier for 24 years, and then i graduated from university and moved 3 states away from my parents and now i just go back home once a year, because i feel sooo sooo tired
She was always mom, there for her kids through everything.
I love this scene.
Rebecca did not love Randall more than Kevin or Kate. Just because she said Randall was easier doesn't mean the love she had for him was stronger. I think she was trying to say that it was easier to form a bond with Randall. It might come off as harsh depending on how you receive it, but it was meant to be honest not hurtful. Parents are human and they don't always form a friendly connection with their kids. Not because they don't love them or from lack of effort, but because sometimes it's hard to connect to someone when you have very different personalities and very little in common. Kevin was a tough kid for her to connect with; he wasn't super affectionate with her and he didn't sit around reading books with her like Randall. I think Rebecca was also holding onto the fact that Kevin didn’t stick around after Jack died so she probably has a little bit of resentment there and has never communicated that. However, Kevin was right for bringing up the fact that he felt she loved Randall more. Sadly, Kevin was definitely the kid that got overlooked because his problems (at least to his parents) weren't as overt as Kate or Randall's problems. He had already gone through some therapy at this point in the show and he finally wanted to lay out everything he'd been discussing in therapy. He probably got heated because it's something he's kept inside for years and now that he's finally letting it out it seems like no one in his family wants to confront some of the deeper issues that they ALL have. Granted yelling didn't ease them into it. He was just tired of every one avoiding their problems. To sum it up, no one was the bad guy in this scene (except maybe Randall for trying to walk out of the session lol not cool).
Mandy Moore 💪
I am really confused. Kate didn't go to college and ended up staying with Rebecca for a period of time after that. In the recent flashbacks we see her with Kate more after Jack's death not Randall.
I haven't saw all the show, but I think que das refering more that Kevin is the one who go away and Randall the one that stay, she may had forgot Kate because of the adrenaline
Although Kate stayed, she was so mean to Rebecca. Of course, everyone was grieving and this tv show is the perfect example that not everyone griefs the same. But at that time, Kate could have been nicer and empathetic to her mom but she choose to isolate and be mean. Can´t blame her, tho. She was just a teenanger who just lost her beloved father and both her brothers move out of home.
Randall did not go to the college he was supposed to. He stayed closer to home to be with Rebecca
She referred to Kate - Kate was 'some sullen teenager angry at her for no reason',
Kevin did not move away and abandon her after his father died. He left as most 18 years old do and he tried to move on with his life despite his circumstances. It's admirable that Randall stayed close... but it was a sacrifice he chose to make. Kevin should not have been expected to do the same. We all deal with grief differently. It's unfair of her to compare them. I understand her pain. But it resulted in a resentment her son obviously felt and that wasn't fair to him.
no, Kevin was an antagonistic child. his parents never showed him anything but love and kindness. but he was moody and arrogant and very self-absorbed, not to mention capable of cruelty. he even admitted himself he went out of his way to bully Randall because he wanted to knock him down a few pegs as he felt their parents favoured him so heavily. i like Kevin, i think he's an interesting character and i love him in later seasons...but Rebecca's hurt stems from much more than him deciding to move away after Jack died.
@@30251 Did you watch the show? He almost drowned in a pool while his parents were busy tending to Kate & Randall.
@@jillmayer9501 why are you pointing out ONE specific moment of jack/rebecca being distracted as if it automatically means they 'loved him less'? they were parents to triplets! caring for one kid is hard enough - remember how kate fell off the bed because rebecca fell asleep - but caring for 3 at the same time means there will inevitably be moments where mom and dad are distracted and swamped and something slips them.
@@30251 I never said they loved him less - that's ridiculous.
@@30251 Kevin was always neglected, he was always the forgotten child. Already at the beginning in the pool episode (s1e4) it is perfectly described by kevin. Why is it always about Kate not being thin enough or randall not feeling adopted, but it is never about me. He nearly drowned while is father was coddling kate and his mother poor randall. And its funny how she said randall was the easy child, when in all flashbacks when they are little they only talk about randalls or kates problems , but not once about kevin. Only in their teens Kevin started to rebell in order to get their attention. He was so desperate to be seen by his parents, that any attention was a reward for him, even when they scolded him.
She was a good mother but indeed love Randall more. Not that it's bad or good, just that she did love Randall more
Agreed.
I know where Rebecca is coming at but just because one child is easier doesn’t mean you stop trying or stop trying to help your child… Kevin is right what did you guys just you too have?? Yeah he left but do you blame him his father died…
Rebecca has NEVER stopped trying. Not once. Not when Kate and Kevin were kids. Not when they were teenagers and definitely not as adults. But just because Kevin is her son, that doesn't mean he's a child anymore. He moved across the country at 18. Rebecca couldn't chase him down and drag him back could she? And we've seen that as adults whenever Rebecca tries to help or be around either of them, they brush her off or ignore her or (repeatedly in adult Kate's case) bite her head off completely. Kevin is very flippant with his mom. Even if he doesn't actively dislike her the way Kate seems to, he REALLY isn't warm to her. And on top of that he hates Rebecca's second husband and lets it be known all the time. What on earth more can Rebecca do to cultivate a deep connection with this adult son of hers? Kevin isn't a child. He needs to own up and TRY himself.
@@HelloGudbye93 Kate resents Rebecca due to envy she held as a child. She doesn’t dislike her
Kevin was an arrogant jerk most his childhood esp teenage years. Lol if watched the series Rebecca always did best supported him he always was jealous or Randall who wanted Kevin attention but Kevin always a douche lmao so to speak.
@@HelloGudbye93Rebecca always neglected Kevin, there's a reason even as a child he recoiled to her touch
Mandy Moore for the WIN!
Parents do not love all their children equally; they have favourites. Just admit it. We are all humans.
They should’ve talked about William family story and nicks side his story
Rebecca always showed favoritism towards Randall and as a child growing up that affected Kevin. They try to portray Kevin as the bad guy but truly he has been through some things and he felt alone at times even with his family.
it is not that simple though.
Kevin is kind of the black sheep of the house. He notices littlest things in the house because nobody paid attention to him because his parents, in his word, were too busy "making sure Randall to feel not too adopted & Kate to feel not too fat" that theu didnt even notice him drowning in the pool calling for help.
that goes for Randall too, he spent his life, even putting his dreams aside at one point, showing gratitude for the parents that "rescued" him that He nevee even asked about his background and identity because that would be too 'ungrateful' of him.
it was sense of duty of both Randall & Rebecca in the first time.
She was scared baby Randall wouldnt like her that She spent most of her time on him.
and how distant her 2 other kids were to her made the love bonding stronger for Randall and Rebecca
Kevin treated Randall horribly growing up and wouldn’t even speak to him at school and called him Webster! Kate resented her because of her weight! Randall was the only child who she seem to have the most in common with.. Kevin was a jerk simple as that🤷🏽♀️
Kevin não é mal, é egocêntrico. Isso prejudicou a relação dele com todos, menos com a Kate pq são gêmeos, mas até Kate já deu puxada de orelha nele.
Entendo a Rebecca quando ela diz que com o Randall era fácil, afinal, qualquer gesto dela com ele era bem recebido, já com Kate e Kevin ela tinha que lutar pra conquistar, era mais criticada. E mesmo tendo sido mais fácil, ela errou com Randall também, tentando o proteger, sem falar do pai biológico. Mães erram.
Agora Kevin era um pestinha, se sumiu no cinema, ia pras festas e se encrencava, bebia, traiu a Sophie, se mudou em um momento delicado, não aceitava o Miguel... Foi um afastamento que ele ajudou a criar.
Girl bye Kevin is and was a monster.
I don't think the show portrays him as a bad, I think they actually did a great job of showing all the intricacies of a family dynamic. And in Kevin's case, he felt neglected by his parents. We saw how they grow up, and anyone who says that the problems Kevin is bringing up is just him being purely ungrateful must not have been paying attention.
I would’ve thrown my phone through the window and walked out
He was just easier 💔💔 the way she expressed that broke my heart
As the Kevin in my family, I understand Rebecca's point but it's not fair. She's blaming him for what he did as a teenager instead of focusing on who he is as an adult. This is every argument between me and my parents even with all my siblings and I grown up and moved out.
I have 2 children. My son is only 8 and I can see him turning out to be like Kevin. Some people just have a personality like Kevin where they feel so hard done by even if they have the most wonderful and supportive life .
People just dont feel things. There's always a reason behind that. Trust me personal experience. Doesn't matter if you think your son has the most wonderful life. What matters is how he feels. Talk to him about this now. Try to understand him. Or else this stays with him for life. And he never talks about it untill its too late.
You sound as if you're already writing your child off. I'm sorry but that's awful. As a parent, you should realize that you aren't perfect and that YOU are the biggest impact on your child's wellbeing and perception of the world/family/his feelings/etc. If you can already see signs, at eight years old it's not too late help him and turn it around. I urge you take your ego out of the situation and work with your child to understand why they feel the way they do. Because hate to break it to you, but it probably has more to do with you and whoever else is helping to raise him than you think.
@@nevermindmyname813 that's ok baby I dont take advice from judgemental people on the internet, anyway, who feel anything about a person they've never met or have never seen, heard of or ever interacted with.
@@nevermindmyname813 wow disgusting comment
@@nevermindmyname813 please stop being judgmental
kate is me this whole scene
“Think about it from Kevin’s..” Yea. But as someone who was the favorite child. I totally get her. I was much easier than my siblings and was hated for years behind that. My siblings never thought about how cruel they were to my Mom and how they pushed her away, only to complain that they didn’t get as much attention and didn’t feel the same love. I chocked it up a long time ago to poor communication and cognizance. They only considered how things affected them. But children are inherently selfish, which is why these things can be traumatic. But even into adulthood, those same children cannot understand the difficulties of raising difficult children.
Kevin needed that and mom did too
Ok so she can't make her kid make feel guilty over his father's death
Rebecca não era uma mãe perfeita. Eu acho muito bom todos os direitos que estão sendo conquistados.Filho nenhum tem obrigação de dar netos, ter um bom trabalho, ser hetero para honrar os pais. Mas não acho que seja um direito simplesmente sumir do mapa.Nunca mais querer nem saber como eles estão.Uma pessoa que se conhece desde criança. È muita crueldade.Tem que se esforçar para se dar bem.
1:20 the reason why Rebecca loves Randall more than Kevin.
She paid more attention on Randall because she felt guilty every day she hid his real dad from him
@@lilken3890 I disagree. She may have felt guilty about that but she didn’t love him more. She and him connected and bonded over similar interests. Randall was an easier child than Kevin. Kevin threw a fit whenever things didn’t go his way and Kate always went to her dad when her mom refused to give in to her wants. Randall for the most part was easier to handle. He tried to be there for his siblings (like when he purposely performed poorly in school), he did what he could to spare his parents feelings. Favouring a child doesn’t mean you love them more.
I wish the whole family greave together😪 😢 😫 😔 😕
This is a really good example of toxic family dynamics
Kevin- the lost child
Randall-the golden child
Kate- scapegoat?
You can even see Rebecca here "he was just easier!!"
Randall, the golden child, she gave extra attention and love to, to make him not feel like an outsider. He also goes along with whatever Rebecca is doing
"Didn't abandon me and move away after his father died?"
You mean go to college and start his adult life? It's hard Rebecca, but remember as parents we owe our children EVERYTHING and they owe us nothing.
She's an adult woman, she should not be relying on her children emotionally. Get a therapist!
This is real life...
No one is perfect. And Kevin was just pointing that out. Not even Jack and Rebecca and Randall
Teenagers will be assholes, thats what they are born to be, and you can't expect a kid, even less a teen struggling with not being a kid but not being an adult to handle grief better than his own mother.
Why did he recoil, why did he brood, why did he left? A child that is loved and made feel safe, to be made feel he is a son and doesn't have to play a part that doesn't belong to him would never leave
Bullshit. Kevin was the golden boy at school, which turned him into a selfish self-absorbed ass who wanted the same attention at home. When he didn't get it, he got mad. Any time Randall got ANY attention, he was mean to him. Randall even stopped getting A's for a while so that Kevin would be nice to him. Kevin reminds me of my older sister. She is 4 years older than me and remembers when she got all the focus. She resented me and bullied me until she left home because our mom didn't continue to solely focus on her. Back to Kevin who got mad because his parents didn't dote on him and ignore the other children. He pushed her away long before Jack died so it wasn't grief; it was entitlement. What was she supposed to do? Ignore the other children for him and never recognize their achievements because that is what Kevin wanted? You can't reject someone and then get mad when you don't have a relationship with them. Rebecca is human and got tired of chasing him. Newsflash: if you want a relationship with someone, you have to actively participate.
Kevin’s not wrong. Randall was always the favourite and Randall always made rude comments about Kevins intelligence and acting career.
i agree w you entirely but i think kevin was also a bit of a dick to randall throughout their childhood so i also see why randall acted this way towards kevin when he grew up
@@reethekka Kevin was a dick at times but there was also quite a few occasions where Randall was throwing the first punch and jack and Rebecca didn’t do anything about it. So if Kevin acted like a little bastard .. it wasn’t just for no reason.
I really did not like Kevin at this point in the series
Damn… this family needs some work or their family holidays are going to be really awkward after this 😂
Why did Bec break down?
Poor Rebecca
Randall was so annoying in this episode. I started the show loving Randall (still do), but he started feeling like he was always right and perfect... Also, the family worshipped Jack, Kevin brought up the fact that Jack had issues with alcohol and everybody freaked out, but he did hahaha And that shouldn't make him less awesome.
Nick should be there
Ugly family drama.
My family is like this and I chucked them all outta my life
I don't need that depressing shit!
everyone is saying that Rebecca loved all her children equally and she was a good kother...no doubt she was a good kother...there is no comparison..and the best can still have flaws that said i think kevin was completely valid with his feelings and he doesn't need his mom to love him equally he just needs her to admit what is already cery clear so he can make peace with it
Ouch
Shouldn't it be about kate cause she just suffered 2 major loss
Poor reb
Is that Mandy Moore?
Randall had no right interjecting when kevin was talking to Rebeca about his feelings. Kevin didn't interject when randall and Rebeca doscussed about her keeping william a secret
I would love to see you keep your cool if someone yells at your mom.
@@manuteemane2465 He didn't yell
What Rebecca said at the end was proof that she didnt have a high EQ (like most parents). The reason he was a sullen teenager is because she favored Randall as a child. She wasn't in tuned with Kevin growing up.
Listen, you have a difficult child, then you find out what's beneath the surface.
😣
Still doesnt answer the question though. He was easier to love we got it. The fact that you cant answer the question of the connection to you son is crazy. He moved away after highschool and abandoned you, its not his job to stay and put the beginning of his life on hold. All that shit sounded like a bunch of gas lighting.
Sigh. That is why she never told him that or made him feel guilty for leaving. She is allowed to feel her feelings FFS. That doesn't make them right. Kevin was an asshole to her his entire teenage years and then moved away and never looked back. Randall stayed in the area and now Kevin's mad that he and Rebecca aren't as close? It's not his job to stay, but he is a grown ass man who needs to own his part in the breakdown of their relationship.
I still dont like Rebecca. Hooking up with her dead husbands best friend is wild
I'm really surprised by the comments sections' refusal to see Kevin's side jaut because Rebecca cries. Surely the parent is more responsible foe wrongdoing here than the child??
Jack and Rebecca always loved Randall more in a bid to overcompensate for his colour and the fact that he was adopted. Turned him into a self centred monster.
Ok. That’s not true. & self centered monster? That’s a bit extreme
Randall que mais puxou o Jack, egocêntrico é o Kevin, sempre querendo atenção.
@@BF649 eu não sei de onde o povo tira q o Randall é um monstro , o cara trocou de faculdade pra estar perto da mãe , cuidou dela como se ela fosse uma criança pq ela precisava disso no momento e ele é o Monstro🙄
He’s not self-centered. That is Kevin all the way. Can Randall be a bit self-involved and short sighted? Yes, but so is everyone else. He gave up his dream of attending Howard to support his mother instead of fleeing at the first chance he got. He was so excited to attend a school where he would be surrounded by people who looked like him for the first time in his life and he did it for his mom. If that’s selfish, I hate to see what you think of as selfless. He didn’t get married without telling his mom and rob her of the opportunity to watch her child get married. And while he wasn’t exactly comfortable with his mom marrying Miguel, he didn’t actively dismiss Miguel’s relationship to his mom. Rebecca and Jack didn’t love Randall more. There’s a difference between favouring/paying attention and loving a child more. It’s apparent they loved their kids equally, but Kate and Randall’s issues were visible.
@@Mia_M Very well said Mia!
I mean... Kevin is a terrible person.
Randall and Beth’s moral superiority in the episode was sickening. Dude, your daughter was on Kevin’s car to escape your family drama. Face it
i hated rebecca in this scene
How? Kevin is the antagonist in this scene. She did nothing wrong.
@@1212blw no, Kevin is the victim of these people
@@mil8834 Explain how his life was so bad because of his family?
@@1212blw i think (and sorry for my poor english, its not my first language) that everything what he said in this episode is true. And look at his therapist, she also knows. This thing with "not having father at weddings etc" - Rebecca truly forget about her third child :(
The thing is, even when you have great family, you can be lonely, unhappy.
I like this episode and I'm really sad when people said about Kevin that he's vilain, he's egoistic etc. Every person, who had/has therapy knows this from experience - your family and friends are "suprised" when you, after many hours of talking with specialists, comunicated something that they dont see or dont want to see.
@@mil8834 if you watch the show now, you would know she is starting to have dementia. You can’t blame her for not having an example with him. The only bad thing that has happened to him that was bad in his child hood was the death of his father. Nothing bad has happened in his life should have left him into being a drug addict to the point where he needed therapy.
Kevin 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I couldn't stand Kevin. He was such a brat.
Mandy moore is a terrible actress. I've tried. But this is sooooo bad
L Mother