5 Questions You Should Never Ask Your Mentor
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ต.ค. 2016
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Do you have a mentor? Do you know what are the best questions to ask and what you should never ask? In this video, I share 5 type of questions to avoid asking your mentor.
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Ask a better question, live a better life. This is especially true with mentors. There’s also a series of questions you should never ask a mentor. That’s what I share in this video.
Dan, what would you do today if you want to learn more about businesses (not talking about books), but daily operational useful activities so you can build yourself to create a company in the future?
This is glorious, I have been researching "spiritual guidance all rooms booked" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Banulian Lonameron Breakthrough - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some amazing things about it and my buddy got amazing results with it.
1. Never ask "How did you do that", ask "how would you start it today"?
2. Never ask for step by step road map.
3. Never ask for money
4. Never ask for a hand out
5. Never ask them to be a customer
Yes, asking your mentor to be your mentor is a bad idea. It shows that you're not paying attention.
100%
Norm and Joe were two amazing mentors to me who shaped my life tremendously in business, finance, marriage, relationships, spirituality and leadership. One is a multi-millionaire and the other was a Captain in the Marine Corps. Much love and respect to them.
Thank you for this video Dan. Am about meeting my mentor this morning and ur video has changed my line of questions
I'm at the very beginning of my journey. This is one of the first videos I've watched, in preparation to meet a mentor. I just started attending free pitch nights and meetups at a local startup co-working company. To this point, I have been a fly on the wall. This is solid advice, and I will take it to heart moving forward.
How has your journey been so far, Robert?
Really interesting thoughts. With so many companies attempting to create mentorship relationships, seems like the best relationships are the ones you choose for yourself.
Great video Dan, as a Mentor to several entrepreneurs that have either or are taking Entrepreneur Training Programs from the SBA or other Non-Profit entities. I think the biggest joy I get is when I leave a mark from a graduating class that I either guest spoke at and learning from the program director that the incoming class, several students were refereed to by my mentees and are hoping I would speak to them. Or better yet hearing my story randomly being spoken by strangers. It's really a great feeling when giving a little bit of my time, impacts the lives of others or inspires them to pass on the same wisdom to others.
Ed, totally agree.
I believe all humans are here to teach others ... built into our DNA in many ways.
Feeds our souls. I know it does mine.
DM
Thanks for sharing Dan!! Keep up the good work!! Dan Lok and Peng Joon mentored me!
Thats great. I on my journey to be Dan's Mentee. 🙂 I would appreciate if you could share your story.
Hi Dan
Awesome video. I just got confirmation from my very first mentor last night which led me to this video... thanks for the tips of what not to ask... sets up the framework for a healthy mentoring setup. Will hold those as a starting point Cheers
YES!
Love this... keep it up.
DM
Thanks for this valuable video!
My pleasure @misha!
DM
Mentorship is very important
Very good advice 👍
I had no idea at the time, but my highschool literature teacher saw something that I hadn’t payed any attention to. And then at our graduation awards show I heard my name out of nowhere. He had prepared a speech, written it all down, describing how he saw me. And I was absolutely dumbfounded. The single most touching compliment I have ever received was by this teacher. I am honored to have met this person
Such a great story... love hearing this. Keep it up.
DM
I just graduated high school and met my first ever mentor. I am researching on how to communicate with him, to decipher exactly what he has to say. Being a teen, it's sort of hard to connect with someone who has been there, done it. while you have no experience. This video helped me a lot.
I had a friend of mine that was my mentor. She helped me so much and inspired me that I became a medical student.
That's awesome to hear!
DM
My mentor and recommended a Book to me called “WHO NOT HOW”
About to meet with my mentor for the first time tomorrow, I'm a little nervous but excited. Hopefully they can crush any doubts I have about entering this field, but no matter the outcome, it will be progress either way, if its my thing and my calling then great, I will dive 100% into this and never look back. If not then at least I know to keep moving forward, a progressive step as not overcoming this will hold me back.
Awesome to hear! Good luck!
DM
Great video!
Appreciated!
Thank you!
100%
I'm just seeing this video!! Thanks. I'm trying to find a mentor. The mentor I had scammed me. Thanks for the info sir! 😃
Useful, sometimes it's hard to know what is appropriate
I am glad this was useful for you 🙏
Well, that is what the 8(a) government contractor (minority business) Mentor - Protégé program NEVER shares! Your's was filmed in 2016 and it's now 2021 and we are all still watching!
Good advises.Tx.
You're welcome!
A man named Pete picked me out of a sea of people and created a dialog. The same week I got a promotion at work. Just getting started in this chapter of my life so I understand I have a lot to learn, but It just trips me out how sometimes in life everything lines up perfectly. Even if it doesnt pan out, im honored. And for the first time in a long time, I am optimistic of the future.
I'm looking for a mentor in real estate...how do I go about it? Many thanks.
Thank you for your video. They are very useful! I have a mentor from Switzerland named Fabi and Eni from Austrid and lot more mentors. They support me by giving me the direction of decision making :) Thank you so much!
👊sounds awesome, I'm glad this was helpful.
just get along.. if their are in a good mood your ok
I had an amazing mentor for 12 years. I met her when I was 18 years old, lost and confused young girl. Unfortunately, my mentor was unable to stay and watch me graduate when I earned my Bachelors and master degrees. She took money from me a lot during the relationship and she often times would cut me out with no explanation. I would always come back, apologizing for something, I knew nothing about...it was weird. This time around, I landed a high end job with the police department as a social worker and I invited her out to celebrate my new position with some friends. It was my treat. I wanted to introduce her to my friends and honor her for helping me get to where I got in my career. She cursed me out via text telling me" I don't have to trolly behind you and your friends and advised me to leave her alone. This happened almost a year ago and I don't know what I did. I called, text... no response ever...anyhow, I still honor and love her. I don't believe i'd be where I am at today without her mentorship...she just never seemed to be able to stick around during my successes for some reason...she always thought I was "changing".
It's all good...
People come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime ... just learn from it and move on :)
DM
She was there to help you but it feeds her ego. But seeing you glowing makes her jealous maybe
Great content
Shubham Rathod 🙏
My mentor Jeff has been amazing. He helped me when I had a challenging time at work. I always thought being results driven was all that was needed to succeed. I used to completely ignore people's perceptions about me or my work. Jeff helped me realize how, at a deeper level, we're fundamentally the same as humans.
Kunal Sampat awesome to see you honour him here!
DM
Hi Dan,
I also don't have a mentor as such, but as this is the very first video I have seen of yours I just wanted to pop in a comment and say thank you for the advice.
I will use these tips the next time I catch up with business owners that I know that are successful. They might not be my mentors, but we do talk business and I run things by one or two of them every now and then, so I guess they are kind of like mentors.
Either way, I think these are great tips, so thank you.
Regards
Ben
Ben, cool to see you in the comments!
Yeah, I break out my "Dream 100" into 3 buckets of people.
1) Peers
2) Advisors
3) Mentors
I treat each one different from a communication, frequency, etc point of view.
However, most of my suggestions work for all 3.
Great to have you part of the community.
DM
Idk if is just me , but most of the things I have been told by my parents about .. except that “how did you do that “ even if I often ask “how did you started “ is not a good question .. but I have seen it go misinterpreted or not exactly getting the reply I was expecting , so I just got it what was going wrong with it. Thank you :)
Wish I could add a story, but I have never really had a mentor.
never too late to start... literally saves you decades.
DM
@@danmartell who it has to be pleas i need to know this
i owe where I am at today to my mentor Val although I am still learning the ropes of this relationship
Love that!
DM
You are doing amazing posting all these videos for people like me, could you please post a video about what to do first, the egg or the chicken in regards to what to acquire first end users or ad users? Will be very appreciate it. Thanks
Always focus on the demand side of the business. You can always fake or buy supply.
DM
Dan Martell thank you, you are doing a great job!!! thanks for creating value to my startup by downloading your videos. I have seen almost all of them, not only one but twice or three times.
Five points are perfect to go straight to the point.
Dan Martell but in my case I may have both sides on demand, if I don’t have content my end users will leave my app. On the other hand if I don’t have Users my brands will not take the chance to join us.
I never really had a mentor like I did my brother James. I was much younger than him and I was only 14, we Built a small boat and wheel barrel lobster traps to the Shoreline. We haul traps by hand for about 10 years before we were able to upgrade to a bigger boat and hydraulics.
He was a much larger guy than me and had no mercy for the weak, I had borderline hatred for my brother at the time, When I think about it today, i’m addicted to hard work. As I get older I need to work smarter
Someone believes to you when you don't even believe yourself. I wanted to achieve my every goals. And I'm happy when I ask for a mentor-mentee relationship(thats wrong question but) there is one who get interest and actually a retired CEO that very delightful for having him. That's why I came to this video because I don't want ti waste his time.
Be willing to share honestly with your mentor what has worked, what has not and be genuinely grateful for their input.
David Kinnon 👊🏻
Hi Dan, thanks for the information.
What would you do today if you were to build a marketplace start-up with minimal money. Would you start with apps or a responsive website first?
If the marketplace requires a mobile feature to make work, then mobile (ex: GPS, Location, etc), otherwise just do mobile responsive.
DM
Austance, you can cut down costs by trading equity for development (www.joinloom.com/) or finding a programmer overseas (www.freelancer.com/dashboard/). I'd be happy to talk more via PM if you'd like.
Thats's valuable thanks Dan. I am on my journey to be a mentee of Dan Lok. ❤
you’re welcome 🙏🏼
How did you get to Dan Lok?
I want to give a big appreciation to my father Hunter Chang, and my mentors Daniel Chou and Shelton Chan for spending time with me and giving me insights on life. Thank you for pushing me to become a better person.
I also want to thank my peak performance partners, Dustin Lin, Andrew Chuang, Janice Lo, and my friends such as Muriel Miao for pointing out my weaknesses and challenging me to improve.
Dr.Chansekhar Pemmasani and Ravi Pemmasani are my mentors.
I feel like most mentors don't even realize they are a mentor. Also alot don't realize they have one at the same time. There are many levels to this.
have never asked him to be my mentor, he is the one asked me to be my mentor, because of him am far today
janet frigonah that's awesome!
It was Erica Mosca that got me connected to other youth organizations that I could reach out to, to be able to test my youth development program. I got told NO 3 times, in a row before I got my Yes‼️I’m forever grateful for her believing in me after she looked over my material, providing suggestions and later getting me connected earlier this year. I’m now working with a nonprofit lawyer to get myself incorporated 🙌🏾 as I use the material I created and tested to mentor students at 2 high schools. #grateful
So great... appreciate you sharing that. Inspiring.
Hi Mr.Martell, I’m 18 years old and I have E-commerce business. I had a mentor which is retired right now and he was an executive in Sony Playstation with over 5billion dollars in sales. He has thought me a lot but he’s too much negativity about something that others have already done made me that he is not a good mentor and if I want to bring innovation to the market having a mentor like this is just a waste of time. Just would like to know your advice for situations like this. Thank you.
My unofficial mentor is Robert. While other people kept giving me pat answers and simply encouraging me... he took the time to understand my situation, send me personal audio replies, and basically kick me into action and build my freelance copy business.
His advice literally changed my life!
Lizzie Mills sounds like an incredible person!
DM
For number 2 what do you mean by big challenges?
GREAT video Dan!! So inspiring, and inspires me to do a video over business mentorship on my channel. Whats one thing your mentor told you that you still use in your daily work life?
Nick, so much... one of my favorites is "Be long term greedy." - meaning don't try and take everything out of an opportunity from the beginning. Leave more for others, make money for others and it'll help propel things forward.
Damn I messed up from the jump. But my actual mentor recommended this mentor, now I regret asking.
Well I found out I messed up in the first few seconds of this video😐 Luckily it didn’t seem to effect my situation but I do think it wasn’t a good idea in hind sight, made my mentor think too much about how it could be a responsibility he wasn’t ready for even though he was already fulfilling the role in every way so he said no....but since he’s not stopped being a mentor I guess he just didn’t want the burden of a label🤷🏻♀️
Can't say that I've ever had a direct mentor. But I watch, read, and listen to a lot of things. I guess off the top of my head, the millionaire fastlane community, Billy from foreverjobless, and James Clear have had the most impact. But there are many more sources, and there will be many more yet to come. Valuetainment is a channel I just came across, and it's really delivering.
Although I haven't had any mentors, I have paid attention when people who take on that roll talk. There are two complaints I've noticed some mentors have: The first is thankless mentees. If you don't try to give back, well... Your mentor is still human, and still going to feel like you're taking advantage of them. And you know what, you are.
The second is just not following through with things. If you say to your mentor, yes, I'm going to spend the next week doing x, then a week or two later the mentor asks for an update and you haven't gotten started, well... Why should they bother with you again?
I'm a HUGE fan of James Clear!
DM
look up Zach Inman. Also, get on facebook and find government owned FB pages for recreational parks, dig deeper into some more pages, then look for people who have seen or liked certain posts in your community. You essentially target them, you know they are in the same book as you! E-business or whatever it may be, Godspeed!
Community is truly the best way to begin looking for real-world experiences for YOUR future.
My mentor, Lance, has gotten me ten times farther than I ever would have thought possible at this point in my life.
Sierra Benson 👊🏻
Hi Dan,Recently I have one of my friend helping me in some problem. Actually I acted on his advice and thing become simple.I was in touch with him and made a good connect. Slowly we had trust and now I didn't know he is the mentor for me. His name is Vivek Singh. Please have a Mentor.
Thx Manoj, love this back story.
Appreciate you sharing.
DM
Hi, looking for help, how would you do it today when you wanna involve your personal relationship to your mentor? Like sharing your personal life,values and etc.?
what are you wanting to get out of sharing this with them?
@@danmartell I’m looking forward to sharing my personal life becuz it’s little mess up but in the hopes that she may be able to guide me.
But I made a terrible mistakes,I kind of indirectly called her out in a chat group. She left eventually and I assume I hurt her feelings cuz she hasn’t spoken to me in a week now. So how do I do it if you were me today?
I ran a business for 7 years but I never really had a mentor, but I hired a business coach, where can you find a mentor that had and ran your type of business?
This will help!
www.danmartell.com/findingamentor/
DM
Valerie D'Vonn taught me enlightenment empowerment the meaning of evolving & encouragement. I am a magnificent divine creation of god now.. god bless
So how do you persuade someone to become your mentor then? . In the beginning of your video you said never ask them directly to become your mentor.....
Those cold call emails you sent out while you were looking for mentor, what and while u met them face to face and follow up did they eventually become your mentor by creating that relationship?
You keep circling back letting them know how their advice help, what you learned, then bring them anothe big challenge you're facing and ask for their advice.
That's what mentors do - you don't need to formalize it.
DM
Uzioky. Jiggle the bait, don't throw it at them. You want the potential mentor to want to mentor you. You don't want them to feel obligated.
true, thanks.
In the beginning of the video you stated not to ask someone blatantly to be your mentor, but during the video you didn't state what to ask instead nor why you shouldn't ask that question. I would appreciate it if you expounded on that.
it's like adults don't ask another adult to be friends just the action will tell the older and more experienced to give advice.
I guess...
I want to honour my mentor... Wish I had known him better
Bobby Severtson and Vector Marketing
I am looking for a Mentor.
Meike, perfect / start here
th-cam.com/video/ReKWpnjajB0/w-d-xo.html
DM
what if i want to ask my mentor for scholarships? will that change our relationship?
100%... I wouldn't / I'd find another way to pay for it... don't devalue the mentors advice over time for short term need for capital.
DM
i want the biggest life. my dream is to change the world
It starts small
Why do I learn things after I've already done them the wrong way?!
We only learn/grow when we don't get what we expect.
Don't be upset about it, just move on.
DM
How do I persuade him to became my mentor in the first place
I cover that in this video
th-cam.com/video/ReKWpnjajB0/w-d-xo.html
DM
You mean you should not ask them to introduce you to someone or even vouch for you incase you want to expand to some other area they are not experts in?
It means investors want to be introduced to you by other founders / not consultants.
1:55
Just to get the point
I like telling stories :)
@@danmartell you should write books then try comedy
@@danmartell Stories are memorable and repeatable; nothing wrong with that. @happy champion ~ I don't recall Dan saying he was a comedian. I understood he's trying to help people with their endeavors; perhaps you missed that. Ironic, really. I understood 'champions' to be the type of people who build others up. Cheers.
@@happychampion3096 He can do what he wants on his channel.
This is gold! :) my Subscribe button is gonna break soon from all the smashing! :D
👊 I'm so glad you found this helpful
This vid will be more effective if the presentor can modulate his voice and less animated in tone and movements.
Torta, appreciate the feedback, keep em' coming.
DM
HAHAHAH, I just asked an old business teacher of mine in a less direct way for guidance, advice or mentorship, and then 15 seconds in i realise ive made a mistake xDDDDD
Yup, as a mentor I really always hated it when someone asked me for an A, B, C roadmap of their own business / product.
However, I didn't know about not asking for intros. Is that really something that becomes awkward for the mentor? Maybe it's because they don't trust you enough yet?
It's not that an intro can't be made, but it should be offered by the mentor vs. asked for imho.
DM
so basically, you'd just talk to them about the kind of issues you're facing and the kind of people you'd need to talk to. If they say "hey, I can make an intro happen" that's cool. Otherwise, just leave it as it is.
is this what you mean?
can you be my mentor
I just lost my mentor. I feel shattered.
Sorry to hear :(
@@danmartell Thank you.
Ta nqi
I No have mentor l Learing
Find a mentor / it will transform your life.
DM
😂 cam you be my mentor
Do you recommend paying a mentor?
Keep self analyzing yourself; and your business. The answers will come. I spoke www.dowlingconsultants.co.uk about my business, January 2018. They seemed rather pushy. Hire a mentor when you have a proven track record of sales and experience, don't hire one unless you have statistical evidence.
Makes sense.
My mentor is African American 😂 so I can be pretty blunt to him and not beat behind the Bush lol
Yo what ? What are talking about bro
What does that mean
Great Video! We love the work that you do. Your videos are great! We think our audience would find your content very interesting.
We would love to collaborate with you for video on Mentorship. Let us know your Interest! you can write at shyam@getapy.com
Look for my mentors Facebook Page it's Called Danu Anand, he is awesome
Lendingchics! We sell mortgages (loan officers)! We advise and help people get homes and assets, vets first timers, investment properties and more. Lemding chics, women led and very thsnkful for em. Look us up!