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Dagoth Roast
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2023
- When Dagoth Ur's favorite bistro closes down, he must wrestle with not only a disruption in his routine, but a disruption of the spirit.
This isn't from anything I just like writing Dagoth Ur fan fiction.
![CAMPปลิ้น | EP.79[2/2] มานั่งฮ้านกินข้าวนำกันเด้ออ้ายยย](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pHIS_Sdy8P8/mqdefault.jpg)
I love how Dagoth Ur is getting more and more thoroughly fleshed out in all of this
We are doing the Sharmat's work.
At this rate he’s going to be character of the year
I can't believe this is happening.
except for the part where he behaves g*y, not even your chimmest chimney and codaest coda can make that "canon"
@@KingLich451 dagoth ur is the gayest character in elder scrolls and he is more beautiful because of it
If my girlfriend is about to leave me, Imma tell her "Is this how you honor the sixth house and the tribe unmourned?"
*when
@@Dios_of_Autumn-1999 you have an anime pfp. Think the other guy is right
@@fiddlesticks7245 SAVAGE
@@Dios_of_Autumn-1999 Buddy, it's gonna happen. It always does.
Don't listen to these other N'wahs, you appreciate her like the Kwama Queen she is
I sat through 4 minutes of a fictional god mourn and over come his favorite coffee stop, and I enjoyed every second
The Scrappy Mudcrab will rise again, mark my words Dagoth, I will get you that marvelous dark roast you crave.
Tino???
Godspeed
godspeed, tino
These dagoth monologues are perfection
These memes collectively have changed the spirit of Dagoth Ur for the better, making him relatable and chill. THIS is how you honor the Sixth House and the Tribe Unmourned.
As goofy as this is, Dagoth's love for his coffee spoke to me in a weird way. His grief over losing his favorite place to go and the emptiness he feels resonated with me. Im glad the homie can now sip freely and move on ^^/
We will all learn to one day sip once more. I'm glad it resonated with you.
@fourminutemadness4454 You're doing amazing work with these videos, good sir, please keep these coming ❤️
Pour one out for the Scrappy Mudcrab :(
As long as it ain't a fresh colovian.
I want an entire audiobook read by Dagoth Ur. This is mesmerizing.
Oh no, soneone is going to put Robertson Dean out of a job with that idea
People have been doing lovecraft works voiced by dagoth. They sound magnificent.
Listen to the H.P. Lovecraft ones by Dagoth Ur. They're good.
For real
Search up Dagoth Ur Lovecraft, there are some lovely videos of readings from Shadow Over Innsmouth, Call of Cthulhu, and others.
This is honestly art, like I really emphasised with Lord Dagoth.
Emphasised 💀
That’s what I get for using voice to text while texting and driving.
@@bufferly5595 Don't Dagoth and drive bro. We learned this in primary school...
@@albertogurges with loRD daGOTH
Came expecting a roast not a talk about a roast
You can hear the genuine sorrow in the Ai’s voice. The tribunal doesn’t care though. Those bastards would rather chug pumpkin spice.
I love how he hates the imperials but he loves a colovian coffee, irony
Look, I like orc food as much as the next guy but I don't need to listen to their war chants at three in the morning when I got work the next day
Hey, orcs make amazing armor and all. I just wish they’d shower once in a while.
One of my favorite commonalities in all the Dagoth memes is how he's a massive hypocrite about everything
@@Deathbytroll he's like all the hipsters that love their coffee, but hate exploitation... and conveniently ignore where coffee comes from haha
To expect that years after the closing of the Scrappy Mudcrab it would still be there to welcome customers to come through fire and war, only to have realised you have come unprepared for the false copy that awaits... What a grand and intoxicating innocence...
Wow, this whole comment is just perfect. Just like Dagoths cup of Joe.
Damn. I know on some level this is just another Dagoth Ur shitpoast, but it hits me hard. There was a brewery around here that I honestly loved. I dont really care for "craft/microbreweries" ordinarily, but this one was different. When you drank their product, you knew that that beer was not made by someone who sipped their product and said "yeah, I can sell this", no, it was made by a real Artist, someone who went beyond, someone who demanded from himself the best and beyond. That beer was firmly grounded in the traditon of centuries but also had a bright spark of its brewer's own unique personality. Not only was the beer the best and then even better still that you could ever hope for, but the taproom itself was wonderfully homier than home. You could show up after a hard day at work and all your built up stresses would float away within the first few minutes there.
Then one evening I show up and the place is close, the taproom dark and empty. Google reports it as permamently closed but there is no social media post not article that elaborates. One day it is just gone. After that you don't really care to find a replacement.
Trust me. What Dagoth said about the owner being more disappointed in himself for disappointing the customers is very true.
When I had to close down my street-side café (live in South East Asia, lots of it here) due to Covid, it wasn't my finances that I worried about, at least not in that moment. It was the nice old, Chinese couple who would come to my stand every day around 9a.m, to order our deep fried banana fritters with chocolate sprinkles as topping, with a hot cup of Robusta blended coffee to share.
One day, while I was shopping in the market, I happened to run into them. The first thing they say when they saw me was about why I hadn't opened the stand at all (we were a week into Covid season, so quarantine wasn't that enforced yet here). I had to, with great embarrassment and shame, tell them that we had to permanently close down due to Covid and that the government was cracking down on businesses that didn't follow quarantine restrictions.
What broke my heart was when the wife, a frown forming on her wizened face, looked to her husband and said, 'now we won't be able to eat those delicious banana fritters again.' Her husband, being the aged and taciturn man he was, could only nod empathically, but I know deep down he too shared his wife's disappointment, because it was he who would finish the last bite of banana fritters every time they ordered it.
I was stuck, shame filling my heart, as I could do nothing but apologize for something I had absolutely no control over. We parted ways and I listlessly made my way to the fishmonger where they managed to get me a good deal on sea bream. I walked to where I parked my motor scooter, rode back to my house, and then proceeded to make myself and my family a steamed sea bream dish with garlic, ginger, and soy.
As I sat there on the dining chair, my hand mindlessly picking food into my mouth, the only thing that I could think of was what that woman had said to her husband. I know I said my finances weren't the first thing that came to my mind when I had to close down my shop, but it was beginning to become a glaring problem further down the month. If only I had tried harder then maybe I could've, somehow, kept the shop open. Maybe that nice old couple could still be enjoying my banana fritters every day at 9a.m in the morning.
It's been around three years now and, honestly, my life hadn't been the same after that encounter. I struggle to find jobs and I am stuck constantly thinking that I'm an embarrassment, not only to myself but also my family, for being in his mid twenties without a stable job or income. I'm essentially a shut in now, hunting down any jobs I could find and I cannot help but feel that this is it for me.
@@PresidentFunnyValentine It's all right dude. Rather than wallowing in self pity, appreciate what you did for your customers. The couple came there because they liked *_your_* café out of everyone else's which means they really enjoyed *_your_* presence. Thinking of what if situations will only drag you down so please don't be too hard on yourself as you did a lot more than being an "embarrassment". You are going to make it, trust me.
P.S. I hope this didn't sound condescending.
@@PresidentFunnyValentine It was NOT your fault your cafe shut down. It was the incompetant evil people in charge of the world who robbed every person on earth of two full years (maybe three) of their life. Work towards getting your cafe back or a new one!
@@PresidentFunnyValentine you gotta get back up man, we need more people who care enough to feel disappointed like you
@@PresidentFunnyValentine they killed your business over a psyop, I'm sorry
Ahhhh straight black coffee. A true drink for a true god.
The greatest tragedy in Elder Scrolls lore.
Imagine waking up one morning to see that the character you created for a game that came out in 2002 is blowing up talking about his grief over Scrappy Mudcrab.
I love this monologue so much. I cant believe it isn't from anything. Thanks for the upload.
i listened to this while palying skyrim and the theme was playing through the whole video, as soon as he accepted his fate, the song started to end and it just fits perfectly
From time to time i come back to this video and reflect on Dagoth's words. Although this is just a comedic video, i do see a important message in it.
Just like Dagoth learnt to live on without his coffee, we should learn to live without certain things that just aren't present in our lives anymore. We need to let our problem go and look forward, not in disappointment, but faithful but we may find happiness.
This certainly honours the sixth house and tribe unmourned
The Scrappy Mudcrab is closed, but he dreamed it was open.
Lost it when he reploed to tito "is this how you honor the house unmourned???" Imagine losing your business to hear that X'D
As someone who had his favorite coffee shop closed recently, this hit too close to home.
Yo, great writing. Enrapturing short story, and good use of in-universe terms. Thankyou!
This Is both hilarius and genuinely Heart wrenching. Absolutely outstanding, Dagoth Ur really touched my soul here, and i don't even Know what a "Cup of Joe" IS
0 c-
coffe dont know why they would call whoever the fuck joe is for a cup of coffe
A man named Joe invented the Mr coffee machine that millions of Americans used and he advertised it so we call a cup of coffee a cup of Joe
I was always told it’s slang for Cappuccino but I like the Mr Coffee story better
I really enjoyed listening to this story
Somewhere a Karen has seen this and will be telling the Starbucks batista "is this how you honour the sixth house and the tribe unmourned" tomorrow.
"Tino, I think his name was. How could I forget?"
I'm honestly torn between laughing and crying at a tragic story.
really absorbing. i love that the diction changes to be more like, elevated and rhythmic the further inward dagoth travels, absolutely fitting for his character. please write more!
my dude you got some chops on these monologues mad respect. Like this isnt some cheap, pulp horror story, this is lovecraftian, its f-ing LITERATURE
This is nicely written, I felt sad watching this. Also taken off-guard because I didn't look at the thumbnail and thought it was a different sort of roast haha
I have never sat within the Scrappy Mudcrab, never taken in the scent of brewing within it, never sipped Colovian Coffee, but hearing the mournful tones that Dagoth Ur takes as he reminisces makes me long for days of yore in which I too could give old Tino a septim and he would give me the best cuppa and some conversation since the last time I had gone in (just the day prior).
I honor the Scrappy Mudcrab and mourn for the shop.
This is like the damn hippo from FNAF long-ass stories that are somehow more compelling than literally everything else going on around him
This touched my heart and I mean that as a guy who reads history books about coffee and shit. Recently Sanibel, Florida got murdered by a hurricane. Quiet place but its alright, went there on a family vacation, but damn. Someone at this Cafe, little local place, knew how to work a cheapo drip machine and made some really nice cheap coffee out of a bag of Green Mountain. They would cut a muffin in half and fry the flat sides for you before serving it with your oatmeal and I might never be able to go there again. No cup of coffee has ever tasted the same and any cafe as it did at that place, absolute diamond in the rough in the middle of a pretty nothing island (the parks are nice though). I fear like many businesses it will never open again due the hurricane and I won't be able to pay homage to that memory of finding a surprisingly good cup of coffee at some egg-named breakfast place in a hangover town.
Dagoth, you have touched my heart and soul with your words and love of coffee. Probably gave me Corprus but hey, we cool.
Missed opportunity to call it Moon and Starbucks.
Goddamn Poetry
You have honored the Scrappy Mudcrab and the sixth cup unmourned.
The Elder Scrolls if written by Dostoyevsky.
If I knew that Dagoth Ur also liked black, dark coffee, I would've came to him openly, and not by stealth
Damn why do feel like crying?
It's about how the world around us changes too quickly. How we cling on and refuse to let go even though it's been irreversibly gone forever. Might just be small things like Colovian Roast. Might even be something that you just witnessed every time on the way out of home every day like a forest or a pretty building. Now the forest is all gone - there's a mall with a wasteland of parking round it. The building is demolished and replaced with a glass block of flats resembeling an aquarium. But such little things make up your day, your week, your whole life. It is inherently sour and depressing even to see how the place that you used to call yours is now as alien as ever. And the problem isn't even if you accept it or keep a grudge against the Universe. The problem is you don't know what is good anymore, because it's all gone and all seems to worsen and there appears to be no way out of it sometimes. But I still hope we can all find our way out of darkness and the time when we are ready to sip again comes one way or another.
Halfway through and I was waiting for him to start roasting the place because of all the other unsavory dagoth ur videos I've watched today before realizing it's dagoths roast as in coffee not destroying someone with words.
I opened this vid on my phone and a Starbucks ad played. Lol. Lmao. When Dagoth Ur rises again, the mongrel dogs of the Empire will fall.
This triggers emotions I can't describe. Please write more
Dagoth Ur would later on become a prosecutor and would throw his coffee in the face of the Nerevarine in the Elder Scrolls VI: Ace Attorney.
I keep coming back to this video, every time i see it. RIP Scrappy Mudcrab.
Loss and regret are all an immortal God can feel. Hence its better to not feel at all
"It took me many years to overcome my grief." Exactly how I felt when my local burger and wing shop closed.
Rip to the six beans and the Scrappy Mudcrab unmourned
This is the longest 4 minutes of my life, and I'm only two minutes in. Well done, friend. :)
How could you replace a Colovian coffee? What a grand and intoxicating aroma.
Lyrics: So I was at the Scrappy Mudcrab the other day, only my favorite bistro, and I ordered myself a nice hot cup of joe. Nothing fancy, a Colovian joe, the joe that really makes your heart sing. I ordered it flat, straight dark, no cream or sugar. But what do I get, a macchiato. How in Oblivion the bartender mixed up my simple order puzzled me until I realized I wasn't in fact standing in the Scrappy Mudcrab, no, the Scrappy Mudcrab had closed down years ago and been replaced with a two-bit speed demon dime-store that only sold room temperature macchiatos. What had compelled me to come here when I already knew the Scrappy Mudcrab had closed all those years ago? Was it nostalgia? Was it a sense of foreboding that the crisp, rustic taste of a Colovian coffee was gone forever and I just hadn't realized it? To this day I wonder why, why was I so strongly compelled to that store all those years later. I knew the Scrappy Mudcrab had closed, I felt the pain of its closing as deeply as the owner. It was the only place in town-nay- all of Nirn that I could get a freshly brewed Colovian without having to ask for one without cream and sugar. It wasn't just the taste of the drink, it was the reverence the old managers and servers had for my desired beverage that inspired me in other facets of my life. In so many situations, Men and Mer wish to add all kinds of fancy gizmos and other trappings of vanity to otherwise wholesome and joyful things that honestly don't need it. But here was one precious store that understood, they understood that a good crisp and rustic cup Colovian coffee didn't need cream, because the brewing process already aerated the beans. They understood that sugar would be a waste of one's palate, and would only serve to dull the savory wonder of the brew. This other bistro simply couldn't grasp and it was entirely the reason that I avoided them in favor of the Scrappy Mudcrab. Each morning when I awoke, I knew that if I didn't clasp in my hand that reverent mug of dark roasted wonder, then there wasn't going to be any point in working on Akulakhan at all. It took me a long time to adjust to when the business finally went under, and there were weeks when I simply wondered if it was worth trampling the mongrel dogs of the Empire underfoot after all. What was I trying to awaken the Dreamers to? A world without crisp and hearty roasts? A Tamriel without its morning perk would simply be no Tamriel at all. I remember the long, sorry gaze of the manager. Tino, I think his name was. How could I forget? I was on my way there one morning and there was Tino, coming down the ladder after just having removed the sign. It was the most baleful and haunting visage my spirit has ever had the misfortune of seeing. His sullen eyes told my soul that he was not only disappointed in himself, but carried a deep and quiet guilt for having failed me as well. I wanted to tell him it was alright, that it wasn't his fault; it was the economic imbalance that poisoned every facet of the Empire that was to blame. But my throat was hoarse with sadness and all I could muster was, "Is this how you honor the sixth house and the Tribe Unmourned?" That was the last I ever saw of Tino, and the last I ever sipped of Colovian coffee. It took many years for me to overcome my grief. Even still, I feel its haunting echoes upon me like a shroud. To come again to joy and mirth without my beloved morning perk-up took so long that I forgot I was even overcoming anything at all. There. That's why, that's why I finally come upon this place after so long, I have finally overcome. I can finally move forward, finally set foot in this place again without fear or sadness. Finally, I am now ready to move on and try a macchiato without judgement or remorse. I am ready to sip once more.
What a fool you are. I'm a god! How can you close the favorite coffee shop of a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence! How can you be so naive? There is no escape! No macchiato or frappe can work in this place! Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
"Nay all of Nirn" that was straight poetry
the absolute quality of the writing, jesus christ my dude, you're an artist
You're a phenomenal writer I hope you make many more of these
Make an hour long version for me to fall asleep to.
This would be me if my favourite coffee place ever goes under, it hurts when somewhere that you've gone to for ages goes
What a grand and intoxicating roast
Props to nerevar for always listening to Dagoth's random rants, he truly is a reliable friend
I don't know why your channel hasn't popped off yet. Your videos and writing are hilarious- the diction and prose of each script is both funny and intellectually stimulating. But beyond that, it deals with irony- not hipster irony, but the kind of irony Diogenes would derive from showing Plato the fault in his logic. Keep it up!
"Did you bring the false coffee of Sunderbucks? Shame on you, hah-hah-hah."
I have watched all these videos you've made and enjoy them all, but this is the only one that I turn on in the mornings whilst I drink my own coffee, DunkinDonuts Cinnamon for now, and play Skyrim or Morrowind😁
Ya a good cup of joe always boosts my spirits
Dagoth Ur truly knows a good cup of coffee needs no additives. Truly he must know for he is a god and has stared upon the heart.
I thought he was gonna be roasting someone, but this is way better
Christ, that was touching, straight to the heart.
Someone should mod "The Scrappy Mudcrab" into Morrowind
ok this one is a banger
“The best part of wakin’ up, is Dagoth in Ur cup!”
Of all the dagoth ur AI memes this is the one I keep coming back to
This monologue sounds like it's from something. It's excellent 👌 👏 👍
Dagoth Ur is a dreamer. I would totally be friends with him. He has an appreciation for the finer things in life.
Nuclear power has gotten much cheaper, the steels for the containment, the materials for the turbines and even the compression chambers are an order of magnitude cheaper than they were 15 years ago, materials engineering has really improved
i just need a splash of cream to dull the bitterness.
I came for the laughs, not the tears
I feel ya lord Dagoth
I love how these videos are slowly turning him into a good guy of sorts! XD
This sounds like a monologue from Dagoth Keillor's "An Ashlands Home Companion."
I've been watching a bunch of Dagoth AI videos this past week and this is my favorite one by far.
While I'm a sugar and milk in my coffee man, there's nothing worse than a pissy weak cup of coffee
God damn, this pierced my soul.
This was really emotional and I empathize with it
damn.. I became so invested in this story, this was amazing, A+ for you
Hand pulled Lamian place in Northern Cinci. they had lamb tripe as an option. It was a euphoric experience, top 5 bowl of soup in my lifetime.
Covid killed it. I am not OK.
@3:12 my sides hurt bruh
thing is, if he wanted to, dagoth could have created the Scappy Mudcrab himself, but without Tino, it would just not have been the same. It would have been a Heart Chamber without the Heart, worthless. He understands this, and painful as it may be, he has come to terms with the fact there will never be another Scrappy Crab, but thats just something we have to bear as an immortal god.
Tbh this meme got really really deep
I am ready to sip once more.
This reminds me of a monologue you'd hear on A Prairie Home Companion.
Best of luck Dagoth Ur but remember that forgiveness is for N'wahs.
Should've added a *slurp*
"Hm, not bad. Tino's work was better, of course, but he set such a high bar." *Sip*
I too, have experienced great loss at a mom and pop coffee shop being replaced by a starbucks
"Sir, this is a Wendy's"
I'm very sorry to hear this Dagoth Ur. I understand your plight.
Stable diffusion pfp right?
i never played morrowind but i am glad to have found this kind of content.
funniest shit i've ever seen
Make more of these.
I can't wait for the day when I can get AI Dagoth Ur to read wikipedia etc to me, that voice is just fantastic