FEAR OF ABANDONMENT: This is why you fear abandonment and tips and advice on how to heal it
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ค. 2024
- In this video Myrthe explains what the true reason is you fear abandonment. She also talks about the steps you need to take to heal it and create lasting changes in your life.
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► T.O.C.
00:00 - Intro
01:28 - Why do we fear abandonment?
06:08 - Your deficiency story
07:22 - The 2 tactics people use to deal with this fear
11:28 - How to overcome and heal this fear
14:40 - Need help?
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► ABOUT OUR FOUNDER
Myrthe Glasbergen is an Occupational Health Psychologist (MSc.), life coach, intuitive singer and creator who is fascinated about the awakening and healing of humanity.
During her work as a life & job coach she found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional therapy, coaching and the (spiritual) self-help industry. She felt that they were looking at personal growth, emotions, mental health disorders, healing, and helping people overcome life’s adversities the wrong way: as if there is something wrong with them individually, while the true reason that people suffer lies in the dysfunction of our society as a whole.
It is because of this that she went on a search to discover what it is that people truly need to overcome their suffering, heal themselves and create lasting changes in their lives.
She created her own method and tools for somatic and emotional inquiry and healing. Her method contains tools such as somatic meditative exercises (with spoken word, voice healing, music and song) that help with self-discovery, feeling the feelings, expressing emotions, and healing and integrating trauma and negative childhood experiences.
All her tools aim to bring people in a receptive and investigative state of being from which they can understand themselves on a deeper level, and from which mental, emotional and physical suffering, and/or negative childhood experiences can be addressed, acknowledged, felt and healed at the root.
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I very much identify with disorganized attachment and I feel completely stuck in my life. A fear of being seen, afraid to be my authentic self and a detached emotional side which doesn’t feel connected to anyone. I feel like I have so much work to do in order to make my dreams come true.
It sounds like you have a lot of awareness already, and that is actually such a good starting point.
From there on, from this awareness you can tell your mind to rest a bit. You already know it all. Now it’s time to slowly integrate it. Create some safety inside the body. Work with the body and regulating the nervous system. Allow yourself to take it easy. To not have it all figured out. To pause, be nobody for a while and allow the body to come out of survival mode.
You can do this with very gentle soothing exercises, meditations or healing music. Try my free resources: beyondpsychology.eu/free-starter-pack and then especially the safe haven meditation and the healing music piece.
Time to get out of the mind, and sink deeper in the body. First connect with your own emotional state, create safety, travel inwards. The outward journey will flow out of that. ❤️🙏🏼
Thank you for your videos and healing meditations and music! And I loved being here with you in the “tent cocoon” with the shadow of the tree dancing in the background 🥰
@@vectorair1 my pleasure! It was a windy day 🥰😇🙏🏼
I feel almost the same but the amount of work I have to do is what’s motivating me :) also, on a positive note, you’re already very aware, which is more than what most people achieve this far :)
Hi great video! Can you go more in depth with specific processes for healing the trauma of emotional abandonment
Thank you so much for your efforts to make us understand the pain of abandonment. This is keeping me struck from moving forward in my life. ❤
You’re very welcome. Happy to hear and hope it helps 🩵 wishing you the best on your journey
You are right on , it is the pain of rejection when we were small
❤️✨🙏🏼
I love your voice so much
Thank you for this amazing video and the incredible inside on how we act on the present because our childhood traumas and dysfunctions. You are amazing and all your advice resonates with my self…
Thank you Oscar, glad it resonates, and happy you are here!
Brava
Thank you!
You’re welcome! 🙏🏼✨
im childhood neglect people please fear Relationship what solution
Start with creating safety inside. Use meditation, emotion regulation exercises, slow down, be gentle. No rush. Try some of my free resources for this: beyondpsychology.eu/free-starter-pack/
So how do you feel and heal and process those emotions? What does it mean to integrate? I understand the concept, but I don't know how to do it practically.
Hi there, thanks for your question! I have a blog and/or video about the 10 steps of emotion regulation / integration. This is the blog: beyondpsychology.eu/emotion-regulation-a-step-by-step-guide/
This is the video: th-cam.com/video/q_7athpLUwM/w-d-xo.html
Most importantly I would do emotion integration exercises when the emotions show up (not go and seek for it), when you experience fear of abandonment for example, or other intense emotions.
Integration is nothing more than discovering the suppressed parts and emotions inside of you, often hidden behind shame, past trauma or negative childhood experiences. It is acknowledging that these emotions are there, listen to their message, discover to which negative experiences of your past they are connected to, and find the unmet need behind them, and meet that need. It is maybe for the first time showing compassion to those suppressed parts of yourself, accepting them and giving them the love they never received.
Integration practically looks like: crying, giving voice to fear, punching in a pillow when it's anger, grieving, meeting your needs, writing to get to know yourself. Or: Sharing your most vulnerable thoughts with someone you trust and being witnessed while expressing this. Not hiding the parts you feel most ashamed of, not rejecting those parts anymore, but letting them just be part of your reality. It is understanding why you are scared, sharing that, and asking for what you need, etc. It is creating a level of emotional tolerance to do all of this (I will post a video about emotional tolerance soon). But emotional tolerance is the extent to which you can remain present with yourself when you experience strong emotions without being reactive, pushing them away, hiding them, numbing them or dissociating from them.
I also love how Teal Swan defines healing (or integration): Healing means to experience the opposite. If you have experienced being shamed when sharing a need, the most healing thing there is, is sharing a need with someone who can meet that need, and who would love to do that for you. This starts with you acknowledging your needs, not feel ashamed for them and communicating them.
Ok, hopes this little text helps a bit. Good luck!
wow! Thank you very much for such a comprehensive reply! I will check out all the links for sure. I have just found your channel (when looking up 'abandonment wound') and like your approach, including what you say about the society in which we live.
Thanks to many books and channels (especially Dr Ramani's) I now understand intellectually what happened to me in childhood (narcissistic abuse) and how it impacted me, but I am still learning how to heal beyond the head. :-)
Thank you again! Most appreciated! And subscribed :-)
Can you be a bit of both?
Yes. It can even differ per relationship. Both are tactics to keep you emotionally safe.
thank you.@@beyondpsychology_eu