LMFAO! straight facts WOW this chick at my work (warehouse) sees me looking, even STARING (across the warehouse) and hasnt came up or said a word in like 7 months now OH btw
I feel attacked (jk)😂😂😂😭😭😭. When he said we should select who we want instead of waiting to be selected, I realized it actually makes a lot of sense🤔🤔🤔.
I decided to ask a guy out. I took the risk of him saying no but figured, “why the hell not? 🤷🏻♀️” He said yes and we had a great date. It’s not easy, but confidence is key. If he says “no”, then that’s ok too. Life goes on.
I asked a guy if he's single cause it was killing me just looking at him n he politely said "I have a girlfriend" I said she's a lucky girl thank you for your honesty smiled n walked away n then I did it again with a guy at my gym he was shock so I said think about it n he was like na yes I'd like to get to know you more turns out he waited for the day of our date to then say to me he's seeing someone n it's about to get serious n he should have told me from the start but he was caught off guard but I got over it quick time it boost my confidence even more n I no longer fear being rejected if I like him I go get him if not Next!
Thank you! Within the past three weeks I've gotten two numbers and a date from simply smiling and saying "hello, how are you today" to men that I saw kinda eyeing me. I'm naturally a shy woman but have learned to put that to the side when in go getter mode. Please listen to Kev ya'll! The perfect man isn't going to fall out of the sky, start pursuing wisely.
I was walking into a nail salon and a man was holding the door open. I thought most likely that he was waiting for someone so I hesitated for a minute. Then I said(I don't know why) are you opening the door for me because he had started to close it a bit. He said I guess I am now. When I went in I realized that he was most likely waiting on his wife or girlfriend who was at the front desk. I was a bit embarrassed but I meant no harm.
All my life, I've been raised to believe that it's wrong for women to flirt, that the man should always make the first move and if the woman makes the move, she is desperate and ends up losing in the end. Now I'm in my 30s and still single; I'm starting to feel like I'm the loser! The only men who approach me are too old for me, too creepy or, sorry, just plain unattractive. I hung out with a sweet guy i really liked, only for him to marry a friend of mine who made the first move! It broke my heart! The one boyfriend l ever had was a jerk, but I dated him because he pursued me first! People in my circle of influence are constantly saying to me, "Don't worry, God's got the perfect man for you! Just wait!" and I'm starting to resent hearing that. Something about the "just wait" stuff is NOT working (at least not anymore)! Maybe it's time to change tactics after all... Anyway, thank you so much for this video; I think this will help me alot! I'll be looking for your next one! :)
Hey. Old traditional ways have gone completely Out the window. Im with you on your search for real LOVE. (May God give you the insight on who is right for you) Peace and Love hun
Girl, you should go for what you want! You’re more likely to get it by being proactive that being passive. They do have us girls thinking we have to be like a princess in a tower waiting for a guy to overcome all obstacles to get us, but I don’t know about you, I want a partner. It’s hard for men too, so giving them the green light by showing them some encouragement, and THEN let them do the legwork of pursuing, couldn’t possibly hurt! I think you’ll feel empowered if you try! 🙏🏻 best of luck!
@@Dtillma228 Agreed! Give them the green light and let them do the work from there. If a man doesn't ask you out after you give him the go, usually he's already in a relationship or just not interested.
So true. I approach mine. I was ready to find someone of good quality. You'll be surprised ladies. Shoot your shot and you'll eventually hit a slam dunk.😁
@@J.M.. it's still going to hurt, but now that you have closure there's no looking back and just keep moving forward towards a bright future and new opportunities 💕❤️
@@sashayperiwinkler5996 Absolutely!! It takes a LOT of courage being vulnerable enough to tell a crush how you feel. And now you know that you can do it!🤗🤗
That quote doesn't even exist in the Bible. God knows what you need and he will give it to you. You don't need to go around chasing someone who might not be interested.
I was one of those that believed the lie that only real men approach you. After some bad experiences, I learned to be much more observant of the guys that approach me. Good men are everywhere, but if you don't go nowhere, you won't see them. I'll put myself out there and say that I pretty much would go to work, home, grocery store, and church. And I wasn't paying attention to anyone at church or the grocery store. Recently I got more involved in the Singles ministry at my church and joined a gym. This way I'm more likely to meet someone with the same interests as me. And have an opportunity to put your advice to work. Thanks Kev. You have truly inspired me to make necessary changes in my life to be happy. I've recommended your channel to all the ladies I know that can use your advice.
Just approached the guy of my dreams and he said yes to wanting to get to know each other better and he suggested exchanging numbers :) I don’t mind initiating as long as effort is put into me back. Glad it went well. Thanks kev. There were so many differences on this topic out there but this is a guy of quality and this video spoke to me. Just because a guy is good at approaching doesn’t mean he has value. (Not saying all guys that approach are bad). I know fuckboys that are good at it and they don’t bring value to the table. So I took your advice over other peoples. Thanks again!!! VERY HAPPY.
I saw this attractive guy at the gym, while I was there with a male friend, so I figured that “obviously he wouldn’t approach me cause he would think that my friend is my BF, so I smiled at that guy and he smiled back at me. He didn’t do anything about, next day I saw him at the gym again and I smiled at him again and he did too, while I was leaving I waved at him bye, and he followed me and approached me, and we had a good mini convo...We’re dating now, and he said he So wanted to come and talk to me but he was afraid that my friend is my bf and that the day after he came back on purpose to the gym so he can talk to me .... he’s a wonderful guy and I definitely didn’t regret taking the 1st step. It was the 1st time of my life doing such a thing.
I agree with this video. I spoke to my husband first and 6 years later we are still happily married. There's a ton of good men out here, they just always get overlooked. I enjoyed dating them all when I was single... I would think "more good men for me to choose from" lol
Thank you for differentiating between approaching and pursuing. Making the first move doesn’t equal making all, its an introduction. Then keep it moving, don’t make more out of it than it is.
Getting PRK Lasik this tomorrow. I won’t be able to respond to comments for a few days because I won’t be able to see 👁 👀 them. Approaching men isn’t for everyone that’s not the point of the video. This is for them women who are willing and keep asking if they can. The answer is yes and and this is why😁. I’ll come through and show love as soon as I can see again. Thank you so much for watching😉.....oh and disagree if want. “I ain’t going back and forth with you n****’s(don’t like that word, so let’s pretend it says people) I’m living my best life”🎶
Females complain about equal rights, so they might as well. Females cannot handle rejection, trust me. Bruh, I’ve been rocking w your channel for a minute now. Continue to educate and enlighten them lol. Prayers sent your way 🤝🙏
I approached a guy and i told him i've liked him for a long time. Turns out he did too because we always had this look we would give each other whenever we met amongst friends. Wont hurt in trying ladies!
@@zeal469 he should have just said no im sorry im sure youre a great person. rejection in the form of ignoring people will make them feel like angry or crying inside. but its ok.
" the more you like her more dangerous she becomes to you the more you fear her" why is that? I was called dangerous before without an explanation. You should do a video on that mindset men have with the word dangerous
Dangerous meaning: I could fall fall her and she could hurt me. Her rejection would be damaging. She has too much power and I’m not sure if she respects it. If I can trust her. Men need security as well.
I don’t like men that approach me because I feel like the men that are worth having are shy and usually uneasy approaching women. Faithful men don’t walk up to random women.
But what if they’re not interested in you? Then since you’re waiting on THEM to approach YOU, you could miss out on a great guy. So how hard would it be to go up and talk to him
If a non approaching man sees that you're interested by you looking at them and they don't do anything but look back it's because just looking isn't enough for some of us, it's barely anything foreal and if looking is all your going to do why should we bother. Believe it or not many of those men do still persue, just not in the way that you're thinking of. In other words how does that man know that he wants to start a relationship with you and that if he would really like you if you're not presenting nothing but looks and looks at him. We want to be able to read a woman other then just if she's good in bed and capable of having kid's. Some of us want to see atleast a rough draft of the type of person we're getting ourselves into.
Nah that doesn’t cut anymore hey ... especially if he is good looking and gets looks all the time, how should he know you are interested and not being polite/nice?
😲😲 OMG This just happened to me yesterday. He was sooo Beautiful,😍😍 beautiful brown chocolate. I contemplated on speaking to him first so i just smiled and walked off. Regretted that shit the MOMENT I got to my car😞😞
@bigjayking24 just happened to me im SO upset. He was at the same uni event and we were on the bus together after. He gave me a half smile and clearly knew i was interested but he seemed shy too. I had the perfect question to open with and everything, but I just walked to my car too & regretted it after. There's rarely guys I'm attracted to and I was so ready to say something, but i didnt. Im so mad at myself lol. Do yall think if i see him around campus anothrr day somehow and I ask him if he was at the event would that be too creepy or too late?
My thoughts exactly bro, you nailed it. If a woman is interested all she needs to do is give a man the green light with a simple smile and or hello. If they think mr right is going to just knock on their door that easily they're sadly mistaken. Moral of the story is women need to help men help them. If you see something you like go for it. It should apply for both parties.
Thank you for this video. I often find myself approached by players/f**kboys, and this breakdown was the reminder I needed to woman up and work around my shyness and introversion to find quality people who are actually interested in me and not just access to me. I hope you heal well from your surgery!!!
Love this video, I have flirted and asked men out. I won't chase them but it's good to choose your man for yourself. Because men have a lot of courage, so old bums and homeless men would hit on me and ask "can I come home with you?" Even though I was in Law School. I would feel bad like "am I unattractive or do I look like I accept dating homeless men?" I realized it wasn't me, but that I have the power to reject these types of men and choose the type of men I do want to be approached by simply by saying "Hello, Good day and Good afternoon, do you have the time? You smell nice."...ect. All of that began getting me the attention of the quality type of men I like.
Oh my goodness! U r s speaking life to me right now. My whole Paradigm is blown. I need to watch this again and again because it makes perfect sense. I get approached by jerks and I really should be empowered to choose who I think is quality because I am quality. I love what you're saying keep doing what you're doing this is amazing
@bigjayking24 thank god im not you. Natural selection weeds out women who wait for the man to come along. And vice versa. There's a reason you are under every comment promoting your ideology to everybody. I dont need to say it. Everything comes to full circle. Thank you for being you. Makes it easy for ppl like me to stand out
Depends on the guy. Some like myself are straight shooters. If you like me its best to say so. Like my gf did. I went on for a year and six months not knowing she liked be back
I took the chance this weekend and approached this guy who was incredibly attractive. I told him I just wanted to introduce myself and thought he was really cute. Our conversation was flowing but our surrounding was very loud and then our conversation came to a lull. Then he excused himself to find his friends. Not sure how much he was feeling me, but he also told me I was cute and we held eye contact the whole time. I didnt get his number, but he told me where he works, so I'm gonna have to "randomly" run into him. First time I ever did that and I'm so proud of myself!
I approached someone a few months ago because I was intrigued by him. It was a nervous situation at first; neither one of us are perfect but, we have a lot in common and enjoy talking. We are learning each other's pros/cons and I feel he has potential and he is interested in trying. So go for it!
Yes, a woman can approach the man she likes. However, chances are she’s going to end up liking him much more than he likes her. Hence she’s likely going to put in most or all of the work to keep his interest. He likely will never truly be smitten by her 3 Reasons Why a woman should allow a man to approach her: 1. He thought she was worth the risk of rejection 2. Chances are he’ll like her much more than she likes him and thus will likely put his best foot forward in courting and pursuing her 3. You’re likely his type or he finds you very attractive to even be bold enough to come to you You’re welcome
You never know who’s approaching you. If he responds well he’s attracted no matter who spoke first. Guys who approach a lot of women don’t care about rejection because they don’t care about the women. They are just a hole to stick it in or practice. Women are often approached by men and write me asking why hasn’t he called or doesn’t call more. They like him more either way a lot of the times. He made an impression and an exit. I’m not saying chase I’m saying make the first impression of interest. Leave the rest to him. I’ll do a video soon. You’re welcome 😉
@@KevHick Right like what i jus stated..Like u said most guys that do the approaching are womanizers and i would perfer that guy that is NOT approaching me off rip..but that 1 THAT takes his time and is willing to mingle i would think he would stay cus he LET me know he's attracted to ME cus i got his attention wen he wasn't even looking for IT..NOW that's my type
I'm really glad to hear this advice because I wondered if I was just weird for thinking this way. I think a lot of women don't approach men because we are taught by our older relatives not to do that. I was told by my aunt that it's frowned upon for a woman to show interest in a man. That it's only acceptable for him to show interest in you. my mom always said don't call a boy that I like always wait for the boy to call me. it's advice like that is why so many women think it's going to go to hell if they try to prove somebody they like because of things are mothers and aunts and other female relatives have told us.
Some men I’ve had this conversation with irl say that it’s off putting to be approached first and that they see a woman as easy so they wouldn’t want to date her. Maybe it’s a maturity thing.
Them same men be talking about “we grown lets have sex on the first date. We grown”😂 Sex access is the measure of easy, not introducing yourself asking for a breakfast date😂 It’s not for everyone. All women should not approach men but there are some who absolutely should.
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls How would you know if you're the type of woman who should approach the guy first vs the type of woman who shouldn't? Is it based on looks, security, the location of where you see your crush? etc.
TheKlarification it’s based on your level of self esteem and security. Also with the level of quality control you wish to have about the types of men you entertain. A good man may or may not approach you but you may recognize one and why pass that up because of some arbitrary rules about what it means to be feminine.
PATTY NEXTDOOR My age range is 45+ and they love to be approached by women. It takes a lot of pressure off the men and they don’t assume women that approach them are easy or will put out right away. Like you said I guess it all depends on the maturity of said man. Most mature men don’t look at women as easy because they approach.
There’s a man who works in my building. I could easily avoid seeing him around but I have been choosing to be where he is around the same time I know he will be there. He seems to have a crush on me as well, even asked if I was married and with kids, politely complemented me on the way I dress. I think he’s trying to talk to me as well. We are usually surrounded by other people making it a little awkward, so I get shy when I have the chance to talk longer and end up smiling and saying “have a nice day” and walking off. Then I feel lame for walking off lol. Today I saw him and he sounded less enthusiastic when I said hi to him. Maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he isn’t into me as I was reading, or maybe I just need to stop sounding like a robot “have a good day” and walking off. I’m going to shoot the shot this week and ask him if he’d be interested in taking a break sometime together so we can talk a little more than we do in passing. If I don’t ask him, I’ll regret it.
Kev read me for filth with this one. This *just* happened to me. I took it for granted because I was used to seeing him daily at my train stop and was hoping he'd approach me (I'm terribly shy and have internalized the gender roles)...but finally, the day I told myself, I'd muster up the courage to be approachable...he never returned. So, I'm feeling a way. I truly hope he comes back around and I'll muster up the courage to say hello. I'm gonna get mines lmao!
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls kev could you please do a video addressing online (or not) dating when men say ‘ looking for friendship first then we’ll see where it goes’. I feel like it’s total bullshit! However, I’d like to hear your opinion because you’re trustworthy;) Thank Kevin!😉
Kev, the way you broke this down just made too much sense! I came here because my own brother with whom is a great catch has been in a relationship for 2 yrs with a woman that initiated contact with him FIRST. He’s always been unskilled with approaching women which could be a good thing but he really is a good guy! At age 30 it’s time to shake things up a bit because as women we could be SUPER intimidating. Now, I won’t have a problem helping an interesting guy pursue me because like you said faith without works is dead-even Ruth laid at the feet of Boaz initiating the first contact of interest. Thanks for this extremely helpful video!
There is nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man that she wants to get to know. You ever hear the saying “ you won’t know until you try”? It’s so true you won’t.
This is eye opening. I'm now seeing why it's usually players who come up the me. Most 'good' guys stay put once in a relationship. It's the players who have tons of practice especially with approaching very attractive ladies. 2020, we move!
Thank you for debunking this!! I've always had the courage and confidence to approach a man that I was interested in whether that was in person or online. However, what has stopped me and told me that it was completely wrong, that it's "the man's job" to approach a woman was my mum. When I was in high school approaching guys in confidence, she would always discourage this behavior. Now, look I'm in college not approaching guys, still single, and patiently waiting for that guy to approach me. I agree waiting for a man to approach you can and will take ages. Though, this topic is often taboo in the world of women. My own friend told me that she was afraid to approach a man. My best friend even said, "you aren't the one who's suppose to hunt, but to be hunted."
I was never taught that a woman can't approach a man. I've always been confident enough in myself to shoot my shot. I'm not scared of rejection and that's probably because I was raised to be tough as a female with lots of guy cousin's and a strong mother. I've made the first move with all of the boyfriends I've had and I've been in very long relationships. I'm single because I choose to be single and get the guy with the qualities I want in a lifetime partner. Years of experience and time loving myself taught me my worth. So now I won't settle for less and hell yea I'm shooting my shot when I meet him! I'm not aggressive or anything, but I'm flirty and cute with little witty jokes or what not. I have that Libra charm ;)
I’ve approached men but to be honest it lowers my self esteem later on in the relationship because I always wonder if I were someone else would they have approached me. 🤷🏾♀️
Dee Brown yea I understand. But sometimes it depends on how I met the man. I usually don’t make eye contact with men because I always think what if he has a girl. Or he’s not interested. I don’t mind approaching men That I have known for a while or have seen around the way. But as far as a complete stranger it’s kinda hard to know what vibes people give off if I don’t know them.
90% of the time its not the woman. Its the situation. The woman in the situation involving the least bit of embarrassment in case of a rejection gets approached. Plain and simple. I think any woman in a grocery aisle alone is going to get a "whats up" 20 percent of a time a man enters that aisle. Or that just might be me. If you a woman alone in a grocery aisle don't even look at me - I'm speaking
So, my comment to the ladies that got shot down. Yes, Kev was right This approach is not for everyone. Stick to being ur natural self and keep looking up. Someone will be happy to say hi and start a convo with you. Also, don’t beat up on yourselves too bad, cuz a good many of those ppl guys aren’t interested in women. If you know what I mean. Love yourself first, then it will show in how you look, dress, walk and speak.
Wow amazing,I know myself better and I don't care when people call me desperate just because I have seen someone who might seem good to me,I always like to go for what I like rather than what brings itself to me, thanks Kev Hick
Truth is, I say this all the time. Say, "Hello" and see how he responds. I was brushed off, lots... Some thought it was sex I wanted and then, there were the handsome/shy few who were so kind to me and actually held my interest. 🖤
You speak so much truth! I used to be quite forward in my younger years when I saw a guy who caught my fancy. But I was also not as attractive back then and took first contact further by pursuing. Then fast forward 9 years and 2 relationships later I’m single again. I’m not blowing my own horn but I am an attractive woman and men always ask “why are you single?” This pat couple of weeks I’ve been a lot more active in approaching/ making my interest known. Got 3 numbers this week and had 2 meaningful exploratory first dates out of it. I did get friendzoned by one who is heartbroken from a breakup but it’s all part of the process and I’m still proud of myself for making the first move.
I finally got the nerve to do this a few weeks ago at a bar. I got shot down twice immediately with rude comments about my weight (I'm a size 12...not big but not skinny). Ouch. This is not for the faint of heart. Men can be savage. I won't be doing this again. (And by shot down I mean I was just trying to make conversation, not coming on to the guy)
@@RY-os9vw Yeah,that's for sure. The irony is that I recently lost 15lbs and went down a size. Maybe this is the universe's way of saying "don't let your weight define you, because perfection doesn't exist".
I love how you make a difference between approaching and chasing a man. There's a very feminine way to approach a man, no need to become the provider. In this era of me too, men are scared to flirt, that doesn't make them losers. I refuse to believe it.
I see what ur saying...and agree with most...but i once made the approach and the guy went with it just bcos. He didnt want me...turn out he wanted my friend...he went with it pretend to be interested so he could see what he can get without trying for anything..boy did he play me and tell me afterwards that it was my friend he really wanted and dump me....of course that was some yrs back in my early 20's... young n dumb...and i knw some men r still like that now..they see ur showing interest and they knw damn well they r not single n take u on n play games when they probably takenor married.
Wen people hate on good desent people 360 comes back so wen u show love it come back the energy we put in the universe saving each other finding love friendship fixing problems god will forgive peace and love keep the faith
I have no worries about approaching a guy and introducing myself. Men have always been really kind to me. I talk to them a little bit and then move on. The ball is then on their court. ❤
Wow!! Bro I feel the EXACT SAME WAY!! Many people, men and women.... fear rejection and wouldn't make the first move....but hopes to GOD they get the person of their dreams...You gotta put in the effort as man or woman and watch how God work.
I don't approach men because I'm severely shy and afraid of being rejected. I like this guy at the gym. We always looking at each other and when one of us catch the other staring, we'll pretend and look away. He'll come and excercise by me; and I do the same. There's a lot of tension when we're by each other. I finally got the courage to approach my crush at the gym before I left to go home. He said bye, and stopped what he was doing to watched me leave out the Door. I hope to see him this Monday. I'll come back to tell what happened.
@@mikirosgaroes9093 He stop coming to the gym. I ended up going to the gym my brother recommended and I saw him there. He looked at me angry and he left that gym. Then I saw him in front of store; he was with his friends laughing and cracking on me as I was walking in the store. Then he was looking at me and started like hugging and kissing a chick. After that I never seen him again.
I feel so sorry for people who live in the fantasy of if its meant to be. Can you imagine not applying for jobs and attending interviews and saying If it's meant to be I get a good job? Insane you better drop your pride and get your man otherwise take the risk and wait.
Never would I do it.... U usually on point but on this I disagree, when u approach a man to me it sends a signal that he's already entitled to your goods and perks... Men are natural predators and when u approach him, it eliminates that chase, and puts u in a position for significant role reversal.... I'm young but I'm old fashion if a man isn't confident enough to approach me, he's not man enough for me period... I understand some men are intimidated they are human to, but a strong man that knows what he wants would put all that aside and approach what he wants... U made some Good points but I don't agree lol
yes beautyizhername Every man doesn’t want to chase. As a man a can say that with certainty. I’m still on point☝🏾. It’s not a message for everyone. Many women have benefited from this. I’m never looking to be agreed with. I’m looking to enlighten 😉 My wife called me first. Many would say she’s winning.
@@KevHick oh absolutely I know we won't all agree on everything, so I'm just stating my opinion from a woman's perspective.... Maybe all men don't like the chase, but every man enjoys the ego boost of pursuing a woman and she responds back with the same interest, just the thrill alone of knowing he did that and it went well is a boost to any man's confidence, and when a woman does it, to me it just takes from that... I'm not into the whole gender generalizations at all but rt it's just certain things that are exceptable for men and vise versa , for example a man can scratch his genitals in public and people will turn their nose up at him, but he could still get away with it lol, but if a woman does something like that it is horrendous and totally unacceptable.... But we'll agree to disagree on this one... BTW I'm new to your videos and u give Alot of sound advice and I don't know u personally but based off of the vibe I get from your character I would agree your wife is winning... Stay blessed bro
a strong man can also be a controlling person or a not so good guy. Confidence doesn't mean a man is kind and gentle when he needs to be especially in the bedroom.
You appear to be a very attractive individual. It makes sense that your experience as an attractive person may be different from others. You move differently, perhaps even with your guard up. Or maybe you're not attractive but you operate within a different social class be it where men have the luxury of creating a space to approach a woman. Or maybe you operate within a patriarchical setting, so any first move on your part would send a completely different signal. I'm just saying, many factors to be considered here, but Hicks definitely articulated this topic to perfection.
@@lifetobelived9102 I understand confidence doesn't mean a person is a good one, and just because a woman approaches a man does not mean he will turn out 2 b a great guy either, bottom line it's all in getting to know the person, and I'm just stern on if u are a man and u want to get to know me then u have to approach me, I'll show my self friendly, smile, and create welcoming body language but that's as far as it goes
Sounds like something my mind has been telling me for years! Thanks so much for the video, i see guys i want to approach all the time, but always get nervous and think they will not like me. But i get "jerks" & "womenizers" in my face...ALL THE TIME. Time to change things up!
Thanks for the video Kevin because I'm tall with big boobs so guys don't often approach me but stare at me and it makes me uncomfortable. I thought it was wrong and that men didn't respect women who spoke to them first, so we all just stood around and waited because if the man doesn't pursue you then it won't work. I've heard men say that so I often thought guys weren't interested. I've wasted years in this, waiting especially in Canada and have found myself with too many players and abusive men. I've even waited years to be physical thinking it was the right thing. Men give women scowl eyebrows up here then get angry at women here calling them cold but the faces they make always make them look angry, it's sad but true. THis video is great and maybe I'll actually try this sometime. I like nice men, good men but I don't meet them because they are not forward or are chasing the same easy women and the good women sit in the background just like the good guys. What a social mess. I'm not going to do dating online either, it's too scary and creepy for me. I don't want to hook up with anyone but would love date a high quality guy and not always have to be super dressed up all of the time like you're expected here in this city. I know there are nice men out there and I'd like to meet someone special, maybe with your help I'll find someone. Thanks Kevin, you give massive hope.
sane men, have been "noping" out of dating and persuing women since it became clear via a modern liberal education, that pursuing women, even mild flirting and small talk can be branded as sexual harassment, breaking up with or even turning a woman down can justify them claiming you abused or raped them, welcome to modern society... and with the total lack of forgiveness our society has even for those falsely accused to clear their names... i know how you feel, and i am a guy, i walked away from dating, and even flirting, years ago, after i relized, that, i was just making myself miserible trying to find somebody, when, that was very unlikely once i was falsely accused of rape,, even people who knew it was a lie, and said as much, just walked away, not wanting the stigma, the gal admits years later she lied, damage already done, even then, i kept trying..... till it just hit me one day, after i found out my GF was cheating on me, and had blamed me, for being "too nice"... no shit... the fact i cooked and did shit for her, and didnt treat her like crap or cheat on her...was why she cheated on me... and it was my fault... any feminist could back her view... and many have... looking back, knowing what i know now, i could have saved myself a huge amount of trouble if i just accepted what the lawyer told me "even if you win this case, you will have a brand on you for life, you will have to act as if you had been convicted to avoid looking like you did anything or could have done anything, any accusation will just be treated as valid, and nobody will care, unless you pay them to care." he went on, and thats a paraphrase, in short... the moment i was accused, my life was over in any real sense, the fact i became disabled due to 2types of destructive arthritis just makes me even less desirable, even to women who show interest and i hit it off with... not telling you this for any reason other then to let you know, shit sucks for most of us, you are not alone, and things could be worse , you could be me.
@@AshenTechDotCom : I realize this comment is from 2 yrs ago, did you find anyone? Stay hopeful. I believe there’s SOMEbody for everyBODY out there, even with a disease or disability.
There is nothing wrong with initiating contact...makes a person more confident for you and him.convo is a great starter..shoot smtms once they start talkin you definitely dont wanna be bothered. Smile, have a great attitude then it becomes easier for everyone to approach if u dnt wanna initiate and stop thinking every man cld b the great love of ur life...myb a great friend is just as important...
I've reached the point where I'm not actively looking for anyone and I've actually become uncomfortable with men "checking me out". I've started to cover up with jackets that cover my butt and I have no interest in getting men's attention. I've had quite a few scary experiences earlier this year with men being pushy sexually to the point i started to feel anxiety about meeting up with someone for a coffee date. Maybe some of these experiences were because I've relied on men making the first move and I've been attracting players who are sexually aggressive.
It is all about HOW to approach. I have usually approached men first but I had to learn how to without chasing him or running him away. I messed up a few times by overdoing it n scared the male away but practice makes better. Great video Kev! 👏🏽👏🏽☺
Good morning fam! Initially I was "No you don't Kev! Don't tell these ladies to go after these men!", but as I OPENLY listened to you I began to agree. 😃 The way you explained it a lot of women(including myself) have done. I never saw initiating conversation or complimenting someone as "breaking the ice" for dating possibilities. Lol. My grandmother taught us that it doesn't cost you anything to speak to someone. So if we make eye contact I'm going to give salutation. This was a really good video.
Absolutely. It’s about getting his attention not pursuing him. Showing interest is not chasing. My wife called me first. Thousands of women would say she’s winning 😁 Thank you for being open.
I've always believed men who aren't available don't approach but available men do approach. I don't know I thought this but that's why I haven't or don't approach.
Thank you.. you definitely described my situation.. I avoided men who acted intimidated bY me thinking they weren't confident enough, yet I still tried to tame these players like why am I only attracting them and it's because I was attracted to their confidence. I have been pondering my pattern for a while and you Def put it into light. God speaking through you.. I avoided a lot of Godly men for this reason..
I agree with your video, but women get rejected as much as men. I think you can give a man all signs and try to go out of your way and they still run. I'm a shy one so he gotta meet me half way.
Women don't get rejected nowhere near as much as men because women don't approach and pursue after men. Women giving signs and the men not responding isn't what you call rejection. Rejection is approaching a guy and talking to him to showing you're interested and he turns you down. Basically like when many guys approach women and get rejected back to back. That's some actual rejection. You say you're shy but you want the man to meet you half way. Meeting him half way isn't throwing signals to show you're interested. How about actually approaching the guy and starting a conversation?
dondreg16 That's just it, I've always been a bit shy, but I use to be the type of girl that goes after what I want. Yes talking to a guy and getting turned down. After so many of that, this snail went back into her shell. Lol I'm now a women and seems to be more shy, especially when it's someone I'm really digging. I can talk to anyone else I'm not that interested in. I've tested, flirted with someone that's not my type, just to see if I still got it. Lol, I was previously married and then single for a very long time after, to work on myself. Was badly wounded. When you've gotten rejected so many times, it makes you start looking at things differently. Now I'm more like if he's interested he'll approach, give me a sign something. It's usually the guys that's not right for me, players, married, are the ones who usually approach me. If I get approached at all, sadly I've been rejected by my own men, meaning black men. Them not liking black women, not every sista is mean, or crazy acting. But people have their preferences of what,who, they want. But I still absolutely won't approach a man, especially if I think he's taken. Yes I feel him meeting me half way would be given him some hint I'm interested then him following through. It's hard for a shy person who's interested to just go up to their crushes and start macking to him/ her. Especially when we don't know if the feelings are mutual. I hope that clears that up for you. Shy girls be like th-cam.com/video/QqdUrELz1fA/w-d-xo.html
I usually agree, but I disagree . If I have to approach a man then I am pursuing him and I don’t purse. And if a guy is too shy or scared to approach me then he is not the guy for me
The pursuit is the chase. It’s like when a guy gets your number at the mall. That’s not pursuing thats an intro. Approaching is about making the initial impression to cause a pursuit. I’ll talk about that in my next video😉 I’m not mad at that though😁
A shy or quiet man can be a rock while a man who is self confidence, etc. may or may not necessarily be the type of man who is a rock for the woman he is with.
Thx a lot. Great topic & great vid. Been single for a yr. I needed this info bc i have seen a few guys that i wanted to approach but i didnt kno if it was "appropriate" or if it looked "desperate or needy " on my part due to the fact that its not popular. Thx again. God bless 💜
The most I can do is give him eye contact and an inviting smile. That's as far as my BOLDNESS goes!! If we are compatible, he'll be able to take it from there :-)
Faith without works is dead!! HEAVY ON THAT !! I think Christian sisters are standing on “I am waiting on God” but aren’t’t putting in the works of what it takes to get married one day.
Thank you so much for this great advice. I started dating online about a month ago and met a really nice guy. We are now talking offline and well I am so glad that I finally did something I never ever would have done before. He is really a nice guy and I just hope that with time a strong relationship will be formed. You are so right faith without works is dead and sometimes it's just giving the man just the little prompt that he needs so that he can proceed. The best advice I have heard and followed. So thank you so very much and I wish you continued success.
No but my first love did. I hadn’t like her AT ALL beforehand. I was completely indifferent 😐 towards her. She asked me out and I offered to get to know her. Once I did I was hooked. I loved her sooo hard and she ultimately broke my heart. The point is she made an impression on me and it started what became a very passionate love for the both of us. I saw my wife first but once we met we pursued each other. She actually called me first. She refused to give me her number but after 3 weeks she called me at 5 am on a summer Monday. We talked for hours and she never stopped calling. So in a way yes, she approached me and I’ve never known love like this. I would linger after death for my wife and wait for her in the afterlife. It’s possible ladies 😉
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls that's beautiful. I feel a guy should meet half way. If I'm given him all the cues I'm interested and he doesn't take it then, I'm assuming either he's not interested or just not that into me. I'm shy, especially when it comes to my crush, after I finally mustard up the courage to talk I felt rejected. I made it known that I liked him to a coworker, I'm sure they told him he started hiding, avoiding me. So now I'm really feeling awkward and now avoiding him as well. I so don't like being rejected. What do you think I should do in this situation?
You are right! I approached my now husband (I pursued him and confessed my love) and now we are in a happy mariage, he loves me very much. But of course, he was the one who proposed relationship and then mariage.
Use my link for 24/7 relationship coaching
On Relationship Hero relationshiphero.com/kevhick
LMFAO!
straight facts WOW
this chick at my work (warehouse) sees me looking, even STARING (across the warehouse) and hasnt came up or said a word in like 7 months now
OH btw
"You can get over rejection, there's no cure for regret."
There is a cure to regret
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Women can approach too
Oh yeah then go approach I dare you, that’s what I thought
@SeFu2006 I did. And I'm now in an amazing relationship. Maybe I'm just lucky?
I feel attacked (jk)😂😂😂😭😭😭. When he said we should select who we want instead of waiting to be selected, I realized it actually makes a lot of sense🤔🤔🤔.
Nan 😂😂🤷🏽♂️
Also felt the same way
I decided to ask a guy out. I took the risk of him saying no but figured, “why the hell not? 🤷🏻♀️” He said yes and we had a great date. It’s not easy, but confidence is key. If he says “no”, then that’s ok too. Life goes on.
Roxanna you are a very gorgeous woman. Don't see anyone turning you down. But everyone is different
I asked a guy if he's single cause it was killing me just looking at him n he politely said "I have a girlfriend" I said she's a lucky girl thank you for your honesty smiled n walked away n then I did it again with a guy at my gym he was shock so I said think about it n he was like na yes I'd like to get to know you more turns out he waited for the day of our date to then say to me he's seeing someone n it's about to get serious n he should have told me from the start but he was caught off guard but I got over it quick time it boost my confidence even more n I no longer fear being rejected if I like him I go get him if not Next!
Why can’t more women be like this. They always tell men this but it’s way too overrated.
A great date means you gave him your body? Great date means a one night stand hahaha. Wake up!
@@stephanielekas583 A woman doesn’t have to give up her body in order to have a great date. Bless your heart 😉
Thank you! Within the past three weeks I've gotten two numbers and a date from simply smiling and saying "hello, how are you today" to men that I saw kinda eyeing me. I'm naturally a shy woman but have learned to put that to the side when in go getter mode. Please listen to Kev ya'll! The perfect man isn't going to fall out of the sky, start pursuing wisely.
SBNeo It sounds like those men still met you half way. A simple hi and a smile should be enough for them to get the hint that your interested
Proud of you. good job
I was walking into a nail salon and a man was holding the door open. I thought most likely that he was waiting for someone so I hesitated for a minute. Then I said(I don't know why) are you opening the door for me because he had started to close it a bit. He said I guess I am now. When I went in I realized that he was most likely waiting on his wife or girlfriend who was at the front desk. I was a bit embarrassed but I meant no harm.
Start initiating* wisely
@@lifetobelived9102 wtf men are supposed to open doors for women 🤦
All my life, I've been raised to believe that it's wrong for women to flirt, that the man should always make the first move and if the woman makes the move, she is desperate and ends up losing in the end. Now I'm in my 30s and still single; I'm starting to feel like I'm the loser! The only men who approach me are too old for me, too creepy or, sorry, just plain unattractive. I hung out with a sweet guy i really liked, only for him to marry a friend of mine who made the first move! It broke my heart! The one boyfriend l ever had was a jerk, but I dated him because he pursued me first!
People in my circle of influence are constantly saying to me, "Don't worry, God's got the perfect man for you! Just wait!" and I'm starting to resent hearing that. Something about the "just wait" stuff is NOT working (at least not anymore)! Maybe it's time to change tactics after all...
Anyway, thank you so much for this video; I think this will help me alot! I'll be looking for your next one! :)
Hey. Old traditional ways have gone completely Out the window. Im with you on your search for real LOVE. (May God give you the insight on who is right for you) Peace and Love hun
Thanks for sharing. Some women don’t understand but they will in time. 😉
Girl, you should go for what you want! You’re more likely to get it by being proactive that being passive. They do have us girls thinking we have to be like a princess in a tower waiting for a guy to overcome all obstacles to get us, but I don’t know about you, I want a partner. It’s hard for men too, so giving them the green light by showing them some encouragement, and THEN let them do the legwork of pursuing, couldn’t possibly hurt! I think you’ll feel empowered if you try! 🙏🏻 best of luck!
I feel the Exact same way and had some of those Exact situations lol. It's time for us to Rise up and go get our dream guy 😉
@@Dtillma228 Agreed! Give them the green light and let them do the work from there. If a man doesn't ask you out after you give him the go, usually he's already in a relationship or just not interested.
I agree in every way. “You can’t choose who chooses you” wow, that’s powerful. I want to have a hand in my own fate!
Absolutely!
Yessss !!!!
I used to think a man approaching me was heaven sent LoL I've learned how to simply say something to a guy if I think I like him 💥
Teach me
Same here. I feel like if I like him, what's wrong with letting him know? he may not know I'm interested otherwise.
Wow
So true. I approach mine. I was ready to find someone of good quality. You'll be surprised ladies. Shoot your shot and you'll eventually hit a slam dunk.😁
@bigjayking24 youre so depressed. Youre trying to convince other women to think like you so they can be lonely like you. Enjoy your life
Ensl Dorv Yasssss
Unfortunately, I got rejected by my crush. But I'm proud that I built the courage to tell him, very nice video.
I'm proud of you too!!!
Me too and I’m still devastated...but I’m so glad that I finally got closure after 5 years!!!
@@jasminehill6312 thank you Jasmine your comment made me smile
@@J.M.. it's still going to hurt, but now that you have closure there's no looking back and just keep moving forward towards a bright future and new opportunities 💕❤️
@@sashayperiwinkler5996 Absolutely!! It takes a LOT of courage being vulnerable enough to tell a crush how you feel. And now you know that you can do it!🤗🤗
Some a y’all waitin on God but faith without works is dead. Preach Kev!
Have faith in yourself and work.
God is in YOU
Preach!
That quote doesn't even exist in the Bible. God knows what you need and he will give it to you. You don't need to go around chasing someone who might not be interested.
I was one of those that believed the lie that only real men approach you. After some bad experiences, I learned to be much more observant of the guys that approach me. Good men are everywhere, but if you don't go nowhere, you won't see them. I'll put myself out there and say that I pretty much would go to work, home, grocery store, and church. And I wasn't paying attention to anyone at church or the grocery store. Recently I got more involved in the Singles ministry at my church and joined a gym. This way I'm more likely to meet someone with the same interests as me. And have an opportunity to put your advice to work. Thanks Kev. You have truly inspired me to make necessary changes in my life to be happy. I've recommended your channel to all the ladies I know that can use your advice.
So now after getting pumped and dumped by Bad boys you want a nice guy now👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
How lucky your hubby is going to be😁
@@hinduhistory1407 Smh. 😑
@@jiliciar.1423 ikr so where did it say that she got pumped and dumped bcz she just said shell be making the first move first.
Just approached the guy of my dreams and he said yes to wanting to get to know each other better and he suggested exchanging numbers :) I don’t mind initiating as long as effort is put into me back. Glad it went well. Thanks kev. There were so many differences on this topic out there but this is a guy of quality and this video spoke to me. Just because a guy is good at approaching doesn’t mean he has value. (Not saying all guys that approach are bad). I know fuckboys that are good at it and they don’t bring value to the table. So I took your advice over other peoples. Thanks again!!! VERY HAPPY.
I saw this attractive guy at the gym, while I was there with a male friend, so I figured that “obviously he wouldn’t approach me cause he would think that my friend is my BF, so I smiled at that guy and he smiled back at me. He didn’t do anything about, next day I saw him at the gym again and I smiled at him again and he did too, while I was leaving I waved at him bye, and he followed me and approached me, and we had a good mini convo...We’re dating now, and he said he So wanted to come and talk to me but he was afraid that my friend is my bf and that the day after he came back on purpose to the gym so he can talk to me .... he’s a wonderful guy and I definitely didn’t regret taking the 1st step. It was the 1st time of my life doing such a thing.
Lucky...
Thank you, dearest, I think you’re right. And we shouldn’t be concerned if a man doesn’t respond, he might be taken or in a bad point in his life. 👍🏻
...or simply not attracted to you.
I agree with this video. I spoke to my husband first and 6 years later we are still happily married. There's a ton of good men out here, they just always get overlooked. I enjoyed dating them all when I was single... I would think "more good men for me to choose from" lol
Lol
Did you ask him out first?
My best relationship I spoke to him first .
Thank you for differentiating between approaching and pursuing. Making the first move doesn’t equal making all, its an introduction. Then keep it moving, don’t make more out of it than it is.
Exactly
Finally some common sense! Women who are willing to make a move take destiny into their own hands instead of waiting for it to be delivered to them.
Getting PRK Lasik this tomorrow. I won’t be able to respond to comments for a few days because I won’t be able to see 👁 👀 them. Approaching men isn’t for everyone that’s not the point of the video. This is for them women who are willing and keep asking if they can. The answer is yes and and this is why😁. I’ll come through and show love as soon as I can see again. Thank you so much for watching😉.....oh and disagree if want. “I ain’t going back and forth with you n****’s(don’t like that word, so let’s pretend it says people) I’m living my best life”🎶
Ok. Take it easy. Prayers up
Thanks for the advice Good Luck on your surgery. God Bless!
Females complain about equal rights, so they might as well. Females cannot handle rejection, trust me. Bruh, I’ve been rocking w your channel for a minute now. Continue to educate and enlighten them lol. Prayers sent your way 🤝🙏
Good luck in your surgery!
Aw I'm going to miss the squinting LOL but God speed💖💪🏾
I approached a guy and i told him i've liked him for a long time. Turns out he did too because we always had this look we would give each other whenever we met amongst friends. Wont hurt in trying ladies!
I did the same but he ignored me.. now I have to get over this rejection thing...so yeah this is not same for all of us
@@zeal469 take it as closure and you dont have to wonder anymore. Rejection is better than regret. Cheers!
@@zeal469 he should have just said no im sorry im sure youre a great person. rejection in the form of ignoring people will make them feel like angry or crying inside. but its ok.
" the more you like her more dangerous she becomes to you the more you fear her" why is that? I was called dangerous before without an explanation. You should do a video on that mindset men have with the word dangerous
Dangerous meaning: I could fall fall her and she could hurt me. Her rejection would be damaging. She has too much power and I’m not sure if she respects it. If I can trust her. Men need security as well.
"You can get over rejection...but, there's no cure for regrets" umm😊
I don’t like men that approach me because I feel like the men that are worth having are shy and usually uneasy approaching women. Faithful men don’t walk up to random women.
This is eye opening. I'm now seeing why it's usually players who come up the me.
So shy guys never cheat is what you’re saying? You do realize people are like onions, very layered. Being shy don’t stop anyone from cheating.
I always make eye contact with guys I interested in and make sure they see me looking to know I'm interested.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
They don’t get this
But what if they’re not interested in you? Then since you’re waiting on THEM to approach YOU, you could miss out on a great guy. So how hard would it be to go up and talk to him
If a non approaching man sees that you're interested by you looking at them and they don't do anything but look back it's because just looking isn't enough for some of us, it's barely anything foreal and if looking is all your going to do why should we bother. Believe it or not many of those men do still persue, just not in the way that you're thinking of. In other words how does that man know that he wants to start a relationship with you and that if he would really like you if you're not presenting nothing but looks and looks at him. We want to be able to read a woman other then just if she's good in bed and capable of having kid's. Some of us want to see atleast a rough draft of the type of person we're getting ourselves into.
Nah that doesn’t cut anymore hey ... especially if he is good looking and gets looks all the time, how should he know you are interested and not being polite/nice?
😲😲 OMG This just happened to me yesterday. He was sooo Beautiful,😍😍 beautiful brown chocolate. I contemplated on speaking to him first so i just smiled and walked off. Regretted that shit the MOMENT I got to my car😞😞
Same. He will sit near by by himself but won't approach me :(
@bigjayking24 just happened to me im SO upset. He was at the same uni event and we were on the bus together after. He gave me a half smile and clearly knew i was interested but he seemed shy too. I had the perfect question to open with and everything, but I just walked to my car too & regretted it after. There's rarely guys I'm attracted to and I was so ready to say something, but i didnt. Im so mad at myself lol. Do yall think if i see him around campus anothrr day somehow and I ask him if he was at the event would that be too creepy or too late?
Dude stop trolling the comment section, some of us notice you're doing it.
SB - Women smile and walk off . . .every day!
😂😂
My thoughts exactly bro, you nailed it. If a woman is interested all she needs to do is give a man the green light with a simple smile and or hello. If they think mr right is going to just knock on their door that easily they're sadly mistaken. Moral of the story is women need to help men help them. If you see something you like go for it. It should apply for both parties.
Right! The green light! That's all we want.
Thank you for this video. I often find myself approached by players/f**kboys, and this breakdown was the reminder I needed to woman up and work around my shyness and introversion to find quality people who are actually interested in me and not just access to me.
I hope you heal well from your surgery!!!
Love this video, I have flirted and asked men out. I won't chase them but it's good to choose your man for yourself. Because men have a lot of courage, so old bums and homeless men would hit on me and ask "can I come home with you?" Even though I was in Law School. I would feel bad like "am I unattractive or do I look like I accept dating homeless men?" I realized it wasn't me, but that I have the power to reject these types of men and choose the type of men I do want to be approached by simply by saying "Hello, Good day and Good afternoon, do you have the time? You smell nice."...ect. All of that began getting me the attention of the quality type of men I like.
Oh my goodness! U r s speaking life to me right now. My whole Paradigm is blown. I need to watch this again and again because it makes perfect sense. I get approached by jerks and I really should be empowered to choose who I think is quality because I am quality. I love what you're saying keep doing what you're doing this is amazing
I'll hint and flirt but not ask A guy out.
@bigjayking24 thank god im not you. Natural selection weeds out women who wait for the man to come along. And vice versa. There's a reason you are under every comment promoting your ideology to everybody. I dont need to say it. Everything comes to full circle. Thank you for being you. Makes it easy for ppl like me to stand out
@bigjayking24 thank you for being you. I never insulted you. You just took it that way.
I'll hint and flirt,but not ask a woman out.
Depends on the guy. Some like myself are straight shooters. If you like me its best to say so. Like my gf did. I went on for a year and six months not knowing she liked be back
@@socalbeachieboy6135 - Sounds like she was happy to let you know that she was attracted to you! Best wishes!
I approached my man first and we’ve been dating for 6 years now . I don’t mind making the first move at all.
Did you also ask him out first?
I took the chance this weekend and approached this guy who was incredibly attractive. I told him I just wanted to introduce myself and thought he was really cute. Our conversation was flowing but our surrounding was very loud and then our conversation came to a lull. Then he excused himself to find his friends. Not sure how much he was feeling me, but he also told me I was cute and we held eye contact the whole time. I didnt get his number, but he told me where he works, so I'm gonna have to "randomly" run into him. First time I ever did that and I'm so proud of myself!
I approached someone a few months ago because I was intrigued by him. It was a nervous situation at first; neither one of us are perfect but, we have a lot in common and enjoy talking. We are learning each other's pros/cons and I feel he has potential and he is interested in trying. So go for it!
Yes, a woman can approach the man she likes. However, chances are she’s going to end up liking him much more than he likes her. Hence she’s likely going to put in most or all of the work to keep his interest. He likely will never truly be smitten by her
3 Reasons Why a woman should allow a man to approach her:
1. He thought she was worth the risk of rejection
2. Chances are he’ll like her much more than she likes him and thus will likely put his best foot forward in courting and pursuing her
3. You’re likely his type or he finds you very attractive to even be bold enough to come to you
You’re welcome
I agree with the points that you made
You never know who’s approaching you. If he responds well he’s attracted no matter who spoke first. Guys who approach a lot of women don’t care about rejection because they don’t care about the women. They are just a hole to stick it in or practice. Women are often approached by men and write me asking why hasn’t he called or doesn’t call more. They like him more either way a lot of the times. He made an impression and an exit. I’m not saying chase I’m saying make the first impression of interest. Leave the rest to him. I’ll do a video soon. You’re welcome 😉
I AINT SORRY word up 💯
Exactly totally agree
@@KevHick Right like what i jus stated..Like u said most guys that do the approaching are womanizers and i would perfer that guy that is NOT approaching me off rip..but that 1 THAT takes his time and is willing to mingle i would think he would stay cus he LET me know he's attracted to ME cus i got his attention wen he wasn't even looking for IT..NOW that's my type
I'm really glad to hear this advice because I wondered if I was just weird for thinking this way. I think a lot of women don't approach men because we are taught by our older relatives not to do that. I was told by my aunt that it's frowned upon for a woman to show interest in a man. That it's only acceptable for him to show interest in you. my mom always said don't call a boy that I like always wait for the boy to call me. it's advice like that is why so many women think it's going to go to hell if they try to prove somebody they like because of things are mothers and aunts and other female relatives have told us.
Some men I’ve had this conversation with irl say that it’s off putting to be approached first and that they see a woman as easy so they wouldn’t want to date her. Maybe it’s a maturity thing.
Them same men be talking about “we grown lets have sex on the first date. We grown”😂 Sex access is the measure of easy, not introducing yourself asking for a breakfast date😂 It’s not for everyone. All women should not approach men but there are some who absolutely should.
Definitely
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls How would you know if you're the type of woman who should approach the guy first vs the type of woman who shouldn't? Is it based on looks, security, the location of where you see your crush? etc.
TheKlarification it’s based on your level of self esteem and security. Also with the level of quality control you wish to have about the types of men you entertain. A good man may or may not approach you but you may recognize one and why pass that up because of some arbitrary rules about what it means to be feminine.
PATTY NEXTDOOR My age range is 45+ and they love to be approached by women. It takes a lot of pressure off the men and they don’t assume women that approach them are easy or will put out right away. Like you said I guess it all depends on the maturity of said man. Most mature men don’t look at women as easy because they approach.
I agree, approach and pursuing is two different things. I can approach.
This is the most real video I've seen in days. Great content Kev!
There’s a man who works in my building. I could easily avoid seeing him around but I have been choosing to be where he is around the same time I know he will be there. He seems to have a crush on me as well, even asked if I was married and with kids, politely complemented me on the way I dress. I think he’s trying to talk to me as well. We are usually surrounded by other people making it a little awkward, so I get shy when I have the chance to talk longer and end up smiling and saying “have a nice day” and walking off. Then I feel lame for walking off lol. Today I saw him and he sounded less enthusiastic when I said hi to him. Maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he isn’t into me as I was reading, or maybe I just need to stop sounding like a robot “have a good day” and walking off. I’m going to shoot the shot this week and ask him if he’d be interested in taking a break sometime together so we can talk a little more than we do in passing. If I don’t ask him, I’ll regret it.
What you said in this video makes a lot sense. Some men are too timid to approach us as we are them.
This is the wisest opinion I have ever heard on this subject and has definitely changed my whole mind. Thank you.
My pleasure 😇. Thanks for watching
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
Wayne Gretzky
Kev read me for filth with this one. This *just* happened to me. I took it for granted because I was used to seeing him daily at my train stop and was hoping he'd approach me (I'm terribly shy and have internalized the gender roles)...but finally, the day I told myself, I'd muster up the courage to be approachable...he never returned. So, I'm feeling a way. I truly hope he comes back around and I'll muster up the courage to say hello. I'm gonna get mines lmao!
So once you have approached a guy then what? How do you proceed from there without acting like or giving the impression that you are thirsty?
Once you let him know you interested the ball is in his court. It's up to him to follow suit or not
Leslie holmes that’s the next video. You make the impression and stop. We’re not pursuing we are just getting things started. I’ll explain later😉
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls kev could you please do a video addressing online (or not) dating when men say ‘ looking for friendship first then we’ll see where it goes’. I feel like it’s total bullshit! However, I’d like to hear your opinion because you’re trustworthy;)
Thank Kevin!😉
@@KevHick which video is the video that discusses what to do after the woman "making the first contact"/approach?
Kev, the way you broke this down just made too much sense! I came here because my own brother with whom is a great catch has been in a relationship for 2 yrs with a woman that initiated contact with him FIRST. He’s always been unskilled with approaching women which could be a good thing but he really is a good guy! At age 30 it’s time to shake things up a bit because as women we could be SUPER intimidating. Now, I won’t have a problem helping an interesting guy pursue me because like you said faith without works is dead-even Ruth laid at the feet of Boaz initiating the first contact of interest. Thanks for this extremely helpful video!
There is nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man that she wants to get to know. You ever hear the saying “ you won’t know until you try”? It’s so true you won’t.
This is eye opening. I'm now seeing why it's usually players who come up the me. Most 'good' guys stay put once in a relationship. It's the players who have tons of practice especially with approaching very attractive ladies.
2020, we move!
Thank you for debunking this!! I've always had the courage and confidence to approach a man that I was interested in whether that was in person or online. However, what has stopped me and told me that it was completely wrong, that it's "the man's job" to approach a woman was my mum. When I was in high school approaching guys in confidence, she would always discourage this behavior. Now, look I'm in college not approaching guys, still single, and patiently waiting for that guy to approach me. I agree waiting for a man to approach you can and will take ages. Though, this topic is often taboo in the world of women. My own friend told me that she was afraid to approach a man. My best friend even said, "you aren't the one who's suppose to hunt, but to be hunted."
I agree with this. It can be as simple as saying "hi" and smiling. If you like him let him know. Because you may just be watching the years go by.
I was never taught that a woman can't approach a man. I've always been confident enough in myself to shoot my shot. I'm not scared of rejection and that's probably because I was raised to be tough as a female with lots of guy cousin's and a strong mother. I've made the first move with all of the boyfriends I've had and I've been in very long relationships. I'm single because I choose to be single and get the guy with the qualities I want in a lifetime partner. Years of experience and time loving myself taught me my worth. So now I won't settle for less and hell yea I'm shooting my shot when I meet him! I'm not aggressive or anything, but I'm flirty and cute with little witty jokes or what not. I have that Libra charm ;)
You sound needy and crazyt
I’ve approached men but to be honest it lowers my self esteem later on in the relationship because I always wonder if I were someone else would they have approached me. 🤷🏾♀️
Dee Brown yea I understand. But sometimes it depends on how I met the man. I usually don’t make eye contact with men because I always think what if he has a girl. Or he’s not interested. I don’t mind approaching men That I have known for a while or have seen around the way. But as far as a complete stranger it’s kinda hard to know what vibes people give off if I don’t know them.
90% of the time its not the woman. Its the situation. The woman in the situation involving the least bit of embarrassment in case of a rejection gets approached. Plain and simple. I think any woman in a grocery aisle alone is going to get a "whats up" 20 percent of a time a man enters that aisle. Or that just might be me. If you a woman alone in a grocery aisle don't even look at me - I'm speaking
I J F- So men are not entitled to feel the same way about approaching.What a double standard!
So, my comment to the ladies that got shot down. Yes, Kev was right This approach is not for everyone. Stick to being ur natural self and keep looking up. Someone will be happy to say hi and start a convo with you. Also, don’t beat up on yourselves too bad, cuz a good many of those ppl guys aren’t interested in women. If you know what I mean. Love yourself first, then it will show in how you look, dress, walk and speak.
Wow amazing,I know myself better and I don't care when people call me desperate just because I have seen someone who might seem good to me,I always like to go for what I like rather than what brings itself to me, thanks Kev Hick
Truth is, I say this all the time. Say, "Hello" and see how he responds. I was brushed off, lots... Some thought it was sex I wanted and then, there were the handsome/shy few who were so kind to me and actually held my interest. 🖤
You speak so much truth! I used to be quite forward in my younger years when I saw a guy who caught my fancy. But I was also not as attractive back then and took first contact further by pursuing. Then fast forward 9 years and 2 relationships later I’m single again. I’m not blowing my own horn but I am an attractive woman and men always ask “why are you single?” This pat couple of weeks I’ve been a lot more active in approaching/ making my interest known. Got 3 numbers this week and had 2 meaningful exploratory first dates out of it. I did get friendzoned by one who is heartbroken from a breakup but it’s all part of the process and I’m still proud of myself for making the first move.
Kev!!!!!!! Back with another GREAT ONE😁😁😁😁😁 THANKS WE💓YA
I finally got the nerve to do this a few weeks ago at a bar. I got shot down twice immediately with rude comments about my weight (I'm a size 12...not big but not skinny). Ouch. This is not for the faint of heart. Men can be savage. I won't be doing this again.
(And by shot down I mean I was just trying to make conversation, not coming on to the guy)
Jessica Bach Don’t give up. Some people are just rude
@@RY-os9vw Yeah,that's for sure. The irony is that I recently lost 15lbs and went down a size. Maybe this is the universe's way of saying "don't let your weight define you, because perfection doesn't exist".
Wow how rude!
@@Mmmmkaaay a 12 is not big at all!! Wth!! Keep your head up hon! He was just a prick and you dodged a bullet anyway!!
Try a different location
I love how you make a difference between approaching and chasing a man. There's a very feminine way to approach a man, no need to become the provider.
In this era of me too, men are scared to flirt, that doesn't make them losers. I refuse to believe it.
I see what ur saying...and agree with most...but i once made the approach and the guy went with it just bcos. He didnt want me...turn out he wanted my friend...he went with it pretend to be interested so he could see what he can get without trying for anything..boy did he play me and tell me afterwards that it was my friend he really wanted and dump me....of course that was some yrs back in my early 20's... young n dumb...and i knw some men r still like that now..they see ur showing interest and they knw damn well they r not single n take u on n play games when they probably takenor married.
Single dudes can still do the same
Wen people hate on good desent people 360 comes back so wen u show love it come back the energy we put in the universe saving each other finding love friendship fixing problems god will forgive peace and love keep the faith
I have no worries about approaching a guy and introducing myself. Men have always been really kind to me. I talk to them a little bit and then move on. The ball is then on their court. ❤
Way to go. I like this
I needed to hear this lol.. I know he's afraid of rejection but I shut him out anyway. Guess I'll make the first move than 😩
He's exactly right! Women play an active roll in every aspect of their lives. But when it comes to a mate, they leave it up to chance. GO FIGURE!!
You're absolutely right!! Thanks So Much for this advice 💕✨
Wow!! Bro I feel the EXACT SAME WAY!! Many people, men and women.... fear rejection and wouldn't make the first move....but hopes to GOD they get the person of their dreams...You gotta put in the effort as man or woman and watch how God work.
I don't approach men because I'm severely shy and afraid of being rejected. I like this guy at the gym. We always looking at each other and when one of us catch the other staring, we'll pretend and look away. He'll come and excercise by me; and I do the same. There's a lot of tension when we're by each other. I finally got the courage to approach my crush at the gym before I left to go home. He said bye, and stopped what he was doing to watched me leave out the Door. I hope to see him this Monday. I'll come back to tell what happened.
So what happened?
@@mikirosgaroes9093 He stop coming to the gym. I ended up going to the gym my brother recommended and I saw him there. He looked at me angry and he left that gym. Then I saw him in front of store; he was with his friends laughing and cracking on me as I was walking in the store. Then he was looking at me and started like hugging and kissing a chick. After that I never seen him again.
Great talk. You layed out your case for women taking ‘their fate’ into their hands more. You sure you ain’t a lawyer? You sold me😊
This video came out at the perfect time!
I have never approached a man! No matter how fine he was♥️ just my personal perspective..... Because if it's meant he will approach!🔹
@Dee Brown lol...somewhat true with some...but I know all about the game
@Dee Brown Also Just because he approached didn't mean he was going to get the green light...it's for her to decide if it's from her patience ✨
I'm never gonna approach a woman
@@themvp9707 - As you can see, women LOVE the double standard that men are "natural" (?) predators to hunt women down like elephants.
I feel so sorry for people who live in the fantasy of if its meant to be. Can you imagine not applying for jobs and attending interviews and saying If it's meant to be I get a good job? Insane you better drop your pride and get your man otherwise take the risk and wait.
Never would I do it.... U usually on point but on this I disagree, when u approach a man to me it sends a signal that he's already entitled to your goods and perks... Men are natural predators and when u approach him, it eliminates that chase, and puts u in a position for significant role reversal.... I'm young but I'm old fashion if a man isn't confident enough to approach me, he's not man enough for me period... I understand some men are intimidated they are human to, but a strong man that knows what he wants would put all that aside and approach what he wants... U made some Good points but I don't agree lol
yes beautyizhername Every man doesn’t want to chase. As a man a can say that with certainty. I’m still on point☝🏾. It’s not a message for everyone. Many women have benefited from this. I’m never looking to be agreed with. I’m looking to enlighten 😉 My wife called me first. Many would say she’s winning.
@@KevHick oh absolutely I know we won't all agree on everything, so I'm just stating my opinion from a woman's perspective.... Maybe all men don't like the chase, but every man enjoys the ego boost of pursuing a woman and she responds back with the same interest, just the thrill alone of knowing he did that and it went well is a boost to any man's confidence, and when a woman does it, to me it just takes from that... I'm not into the whole gender generalizations at all but rt it's just certain things that are exceptable for men and vise versa , for example a man can scratch his genitals in public and people will turn their nose up at him, but he could still get away with it lol, but if a woman does something like that it is horrendous and totally unacceptable.... But we'll agree to disagree on this one... BTW I'm new to your videos and u give Alot of sound advice and I don't know u personally but based off of the vibe I get from your character I would agree your wife is winning... Stay blessed bro
a strong man can also be a controlling person or a not so good guy. Confidence doesn't mean a man is kind and gentle when he needs to be especially in the bedroom.
You appear to be a very attractive individual. It makes sense that your experience as an attractive person may be different from others. You move differently, perhaps even with your guard up. Or maybe you're not attractive but you operate within a different social class be it where men have the luxury of creating a space to approach a woman. Or maybe you operate within a patriarchical setting, so any first move on your part would send a completely different signal. I'm just saying, many factors to be considered here, but Hicks definitely articulated this topic to perfection.
@@lifetobelived9102 I understand confidence doesn't mean a person is a good one, and just because a woman approaches a man does not mean he will turn out 2 b a great guy either, bottom line it's all in getting to know the person, and I'm just stern on if u are a man and u want to get to know me then u have to approach me, I'll show my self friendly, smile, and create welcoming body language but that's as far as it goes
Awesome Advice. Thank You!👍
Sounds like something my mind has been telling me for years! Thanks so much for the video, i see guys i want to approach all the time, but always get nervous and think they will not like me. But i get "jerks" & "womenizers" in my face...ALL THE TIME. Time to change things up!
Thanks for the video Kevin because I'm tall with big boobs so guys don't often approach me but stare at me and it makes me uncomfortable. I thought it was wrong and that men didn't respect women who spoke to them first, so we all just stood around and waited because if the man doesn't pursue you then it won't work. I've heard men say that so I often thought guys weren't interested. I've wasted years in this, waiting especially in Canada and have found myself with too many players and abusive men. I've even waited years to be physical thinking it was the right thing. Men give women scowl eyebrows up here then get angry at women here calling them cold but the faces they make always make them look angry, it's sad but true. THis video is great and maybe I'll actually try this sometime. I like nice men, good men but I don't meet them because they are not forward or are chasing the same easy women and the good women sit in the background just like the good guys. What a social mess. I'm not going to do dating online either, it's too scary and creepy for me. I don't want to hook up with anyone but would love date a high quality guy and not always have to be super dressed up all of the time like you're expected here in this city. I know there are nice men out there and I'd like to meet someone special, maybe with your help I'll find someone. Thanks Kevin, you give massive hope.
sane men, have been "noping" out of dating and persuing women since it became clear via a modern liberal education, that pursuing women, even mild flirting and small talk can be branded as sexual harassment, breaking up with or even turning a woman down can justify them claiming you abused or raped them, welcome to modern society... and with the total lack of forgiveness our society has even for those falsely accused to clear their names...
i know how you feel, and i am a guy, i walked away from dating, and even flirting, years ago, after i relized, that, i was just making myself miserible trying to find somebody, when, that was very unlikely once i was falsely accused of rape,, even people who knew it was a lie, and said as much, just walked away, not wanting the stigma, the gal admits years later she lied, damage already done, even then, i kept trying..... till it just hit me one day, after i found out my GF was cheating on me, and had blamed me, for being "too nice"... no shit... the fact i cooked and did shit for her, and didnt treat her like crap or cheat on her...was why she cheated on me... and it was my fault... any feminist could back her view... and many have...
looking back, knowing what i know now, i could have saved myself a huge amount of trouble if i just accepted what the lawyer told me "even if you win this case, you will have a brand on you for life, you will have to act as if you had been convicted to avoid looking like you did anything or could have done anything, any accusation will just be treated as valid, and nobody will care, unless you pay them to care." he went on, and thats a paraphrase, in short... the moment i was accused, my life was over in any real sense, the fact i became disabled due to 2types of destructive arthritis just makes me even less desirable, even to women who show interest and i hit it off with...
not telling you this for any reason other then to let you know, shit sucks for most of us, you are not alone, and things could be worse , you could be me.
@@AshenTechDotCom : I realize this comment is from 2 yrs ago, did you find anyone? Stay hopeful. I believe there’s SOMEbody for everyBODY out there, even with a disease or disability.
Good topic!!!!
So when will you start approaching men pussy😂🤣
Thank you for this video. It's nice to hear this info about men from a man.
There is nothing wrong with initiating contact...makes a person more confident for you and him.convo is a great starter..shoot smtms once they start talkin you definitely dont wanna be bothered. Smile, have a great attitude then it becomes easier for everyone to approach if u dnt wanna initiate and stop thinking every man cld b the great love of ur life...myb a great friend is just as important...
I've reached the point where I'm not actively looking for anyone and I've actually become uncomfortable with men "checking me out". I've started to cover up with jackets that cover my butt and I have no interest in getting men's attention. I've had quite a few scary experiences earlier this year with men being pushy sexually to the point i started to feel anxiety about meeting up with someone for a coffee date. Maybe some of these experiences were because I've relied on men making the first move and I've been attracting players who are sexually aggressive.
It is all about HOW to approach. I have usually approached men first but I had to learn how to without chasing him or running him away. I messed up a few times by overdoing it n scared the male away but practice makes better. Great video Kev! 👏🏽👏🏽☺
Tell us more
I met my man through a dating app. I think I made an effort just by creating a profile. However, my man messaged me first.
haha
Really? Which app was that?
Damn, you are a true blessing! Thank you for choosing to be honest!
Rejection is there and we are supposed to love and get married genuinely and not using miserable methods 💔
Thats exactly it. The ones who approach are womanizers, I usually approach mine and then they have to court.
Good morning fam! Initially I was "No you don't Kev! Don't tell these ladies to go after these men!", but as I OPENLY listened to you I began to agree. 😃 The way you explained it a lot of women(including myself) have done. I never saw initiating conversation or complimenting someone as "breaking the ice" for dating possibilities. Lol. My grandmother taught us that it doesn't cost you anything to speak to someone. So if we make eye contact I'm going to give salutation. This was a really good video.
I agree with your comment
Absolutely. It’s about getting his attention not pursuing him. Showing interest is not chasing. My wife called me first. Thousands of women would say she’s winning 😁 Thank you for being open.
@@KevHick I'd also say she's winning cause you look my cousin and we are a great family! 😁
I've always believed men who aren't available don't approach but available men do approach. I don't know I thought this but that's why I haven't or don't approach.
Lol wow
Thank you.. you definitely described my situation.. I avoided men who acted intimidated bY me thinking they weren't confident enough, yet I still tried to tame these players like why am I only attracting them and it's because I was attracted to their confidence. I have been pondering my pattern for a while and you Def put it into light. God speaking through you.. I avoided a lot of Godly men for this reason..
What a eye opener! I had never before considered this. Thank you so much.
I agree with your video, but women get rejected as much as men. I think you can give a man all signs and try to go out of your way and they still run. I'm a shy one so he gotta meet me half way.
Women don't get rejected nowhere near as much as men because women don't approach and pursue after men. Women giving signs and the men not responding isn't what you call rejection. Rejection is approaching a guy and talking to him to showing you're interested and he turns you down. Basically like when many guys approach women and get rejected back to back. That's some actual rejection.
You say you're shy but you want the man to meet you half way. Meeting him half way isn't throwing signals to show you're interested. How about actually approaching the guy and starting a conversation?
dondreg16 That's just it, I've always been a bit shy, but I use to be the type of girl that goes after what I want. Yes talking to a guy and getting turned down. After so many of that, this snail went back into her shell. Lol I'm now a women and seems to be more shy, especially when it's someone I'm really digging. I can talk to anyone else I'm not that interested in. I've tested, flirted with someone that's not my type, just to see if I still got it. Lol, I was previously married and then single for a very long time after, to work on myself. Was badly wounded. When you've gotten rejected so many times, it makes you start looking at things differently. Now I'm more like if he's interested he'll approach, give me a sign something. It's usually the guys that's not right for me, players, married, are the ones who usually approach me. If I get approached at all, sadly I've been rejected by my own men, meaning black men. Them not liking black women, not every sista is mean, or crazy acting. But people have their preferences of what,who, they want. But I still absolutely won't approach a man, especially if I think he's taken. Yes I feel him meeting me half way would be given him some hint I'm interested then him following through. It's hard for a shy person who's interested to just go up to their crushes and start macking to him/ her. Especially when we don't know if the feelings are mutual. I hope that clears that up for you.
Shy girls be like
th-cam.com/video/QqdUrELz1fA/w-d-xo.html
Annette English: Why did you delete your response to my post?
dondreg16 I didn't, it should still be there. Let me check
dondreg16 is still there
I usually agree, but I disagree . If I have to approach a man then I am pursuing him and I don’t purse. And if a guy is too shy or scared to approach me then he is not the guy for me
The pursuit is the chase. It’s like when a guy gets your number at the mall. That’s not pursuing thats an intro. Approaching is about making the initial impression to cause a pursuit. I’ll talk about that in my next video😉 I’m not mad at that though😁
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls I under it from that perspective Kev, can’t wait until your next video!
A shy or quiet man can be a rock while a man who is self confidence, etc. may or may not necessarily be the type of man who is a rock for the woman he is with.
🧐🤔I guess that’s why I’m still single. I’m too shy!!!!😿
Adriana a simple note with your number saying call me will do. He can read lol
I approached everyone I was long term with.
adriana sayavedra don't feel bad I am also, but a smile and a hello should be enough to get his attention
Me too
@@candy5742 Damn word???? Thats encouraging
Thx a lot. Great topic & great vid. Been single for a yr. I needed this info bc i have seen a few guys that i wanted to approach but i didnt kno if it was "appropriate" or if it looked "desperate or needy " on my part due to the fact that its not popular. Thx again. God bless 💜
The most I can do is give him eye contact and an inviting smile. That's as far as my BOLDNESS goes!! If we are compatible, he'll be able to take it from there :-)
Lisa Marie girl I do that to almost everybody I walk past lol 😂🤣
I think u need a bigger hint lol
You have reached comfort in being lonely.
Imagine how many potential men you're missing out because of pride? At 80 what will you think looking back?
@@dopemusic6414 - She, and her "sisters" will STILL go with the eye contact and inviting smile and expect men to get the signal.
Faith without works is dead!! HEAVY ON THAT !! I think Christian sisters are standing on “I am waiting on God” but aren’t’t putting in the works of what it takes to get married one day.
Thank you for the pep talk! 😀
Thank you so much for this great advice. I started dating online about a month ago and met a really nice guy. We are now talking offline and well I am so glad that I finally did something I never ever would have done before. He is really a nice guy and I just hope that with time a strong relationship will be formed. You are so right faith without works is dead and sometimes it's just giving the man just the little prompt that he needs so that he can proceed. The best advice I have heard and followed. So thank you so very much and I wish you continued success.
If you don't mind me asking. Did your wife approach you, how did you guys come about?!
That would be nice to know
Annette English good one
No but my first love did. I hadn’t like her AT ALL beforehand. I was completely indifferent 😐 towards her. She asked me out and I offered to get to know her. Once I did I was hooked. I loved her sooo hard and she ultimately broke my heart. The point is she made an impression on me and it started what became a very passionate love for the both of us. I saw my wife first but once we met we pursued each other. She actually called me first. She refused to give me her number but after 3 weeks she called me at 5 am on a summer Monday. We talked for hours and she never stopped calling. So in a way yes, she approached me and I’ve never known love like this. I would linger after death for my wife and wait for her in the afterlife. It’s possible ladies 😉
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls that's beautiful. I feel a guy should meet half way. If I'm given him all the cues I'm interested and he doesn't take it then, I'm assuming either he's not interested or just not that into me. I'm shy,
especially when it comes to my crush, after I finally mustard up the courage to talk I felt rejected. I made it known that I liked him to a coworker, I'm sure they told him he started hiding, avoiding me. So now I'm really feeling awkward and now avoiding him as well. I so don't like being rejected. What do you think I should do in this situation?
@@KevHick you should listen to this song. First began by pj Morton. I think that would definitely your love for her perfectly.
Seriously love your video
I'd rather make the first move on a decent guy that I like,than being asked out by men I would never consider acceptable.
You are right! I approached my now husband (I pursued him and confessed my love) and now we are in a happy mariage, he loves me very much. But of course, he was the one who proposed relationship and then mariage.
This is about overcoming rejection…. I would never be to forward… just a hello and a smile. I need you to step up!!
DONT ACTING SILLY CUNT AND APPROACH MAN!
"If its meant to be it will be......no it wont" 😂😂 i laughed too hard