I legit paused the video to comment "is rslash coming under fire for something and that's why he's saying "the A" or "wrong?" We must protect this man from the fire
The whole "lore" with elf on the shelf is that the elf watches the kids to make sure they behave and then reports back to Santa every night, and that's why it moves. The elf's job is not to punish, so the dad is just a psychopath who enjoys tormenting children.
That’s exactly what I was about to say. He’s there as a spy for Santa and that’s why he can be found in some weird places. One day he’s climbed to the top of a little girl’s dresser in her room, the next day he’s peering around the side of the little boy’s toy box in his room, the day after that he’s looking over the cookie jar on the kitchen rack, etc. He’s meant as a bit of fun - not there to traumatise kids. If you’re gonna have him “playing pranks”, make them innocent pranks, like the texta on the forehead reading “hello” and have him peering around some furniture with a texta in his hand. You don’t do what Miles did with it.
Update on Story 1: OP immediately kicked Miles out of the house. Spent Christmas alone with the three kids, and Andy got an "apology note" from Bob who assured him that Santa remembers the kid of Christmas. Then she and the kids stayed with her parents at least through New Years. Hopefully dad takes the hint and realizes how wrong he was and can work to fix things. I don't know though he doesn't seem like the type.
i don't think someone who looks forward to abusing children and being mad that one doesn't misbehave so they could mess with them is someone who would change.
@@abiean222 That is someone who has no business being around children. I can only hope that OP has since separated/divorced and has primary custody of at least her son and daughter ...... and maybe her husband's son as well if the boy's mother is not in the picture ...... which makes me wonder if Miles' penchant for cruelty is the reason for them is not being together.
Story 1: As the scapegoat child myself, it was quite triggering to hear Andy's dad wanted to punish him even though he did nothing wrong. This WILL stay with the kid.
My dad was like that too, once when my brother burnt the food they were cooking together, my father forced me to eat this burnt crap while threatening to beat me and screaming "EAT!!!" less than a foot away from my face. Plus when my brother broke a pool cue, my father forced me to drink strong alcohol when I was like 11 and choked me. You really never forget when your dad mistreats you, especially when you did nothing wrong.
@@PaladinGear15 so true. I still vividly remember the day my brother stubbed his toe on the other side of the room and my mom jumped up, grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the ground.
Agreed, and unless the mother takes very serious action soon, she'll be posting a few years from now wondering why Andy doesn't talk to her, hubby and siblings anymore...
Something I’m surprised Rslash missed on the “Elf on a Shelf” story: Andy never actually misbehaved or did anything wrong. He maintained good behavior, did everything right, and STILL had his birthday ruined. Like his stepdad was just waiting for him to fuck up like “oh boy I can’t wait for an excuse to fuck with my stepson” and then said “he hasn’t done anything wrong but it’s his bday and I just can’t pass up a chance to ruin it!” Straight up sadistic cruelty.
His step dad sound to be as sadistic as mine, I hope he does what i did and disown him when he's older, I hope he and his siblings do the same and they have a happy life
So fun fact about the first story. OP actually made a few edits and explained that when her husband cut up their daughter’s onesie, the daughter was actually asleep and WEARING IT WHILE HE WAS CUTTING IT UP. That makes things even WORSE because if he wasn’t careful, he could have EASILY cut the daughter. OP said she kicked the husband out of the house and repaired things with the kids, who were nothing but loving and supportive towards their brother after the incident at his birthday. No word on whether or not they’re getting divorced, but that should be a BIG wake up call for OP. The husband’s behavior is terrifying and I dont think OP’s kids are safe around him anymore.
OP needs the husband to read her post and the Reddit responses. If he STILL is doubling down, being defensive, and asserting his authority then it's time for a divorce. This guy really, really freaks me out. Like, legit SAW vibes here.
@@ImNotaRussianBot Even if he were to read the post and the Reddit responses, this man should still be out. If the bio mum of the stepchild is still in the picture, she needs to get custody of their child and OP should run with hers. This is disgusting. The fact that he cut up an outfit his daughter was wearing while she was sleeping is divorce territory. The fact that he got jealous of one of the children whose birthday happened to be the day before Christmas is divorce territory. The fact that he TERRORISES CHILDREN for fun should sure as effing hell be divorce territory. I wouldn't stay with a man like this. No way.
If the girl was asleep, that does make this, like, ten times worse. My brain immediately jumps to the worst possible scenario, & that comes off as the worst kind of creepy. Also, what if she’d woken up? Imagine that. You’re sleeping peacefully when suddenly you wake up to see daddy cutting your PJs w/ (hopefully) scissors. That would scar the poor girl for life.
In the first story when OP said she grabbed the elf on a shelf and threw him away and then grabbed her husband, I thought she was going to say she threw him away too, cause clearly she needs to, he's a psycho.
The last story: OPs boyfriend should have warned her. He should have said ,”hey my family has this stupid tradition where all newcomers get coal for Christmas. Just play along and I’ll take you out for drinks afterward.” I would have been like. Okay, fine. I’ll play along but you owe me!
Something! I wouldn't be surprised if that isn't what most other couples did. Fiance told the person in advance that the gifts would be a family joke and not to get upset.
If I was in that situation, I wouldn't taken all the gifts I gotten them, and set them on fire, conveniently with the fresh coal I gotten for Christmas, as they watch in disbelief, and when they ask "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" "oh just using the best gift every, thanks guys" revenge is best served over a roaring fire
@@Josh_the_jester HAHA! I wouldn't have thought of that and that would have been rightfully deserved! One or two gag gifts can be fun. But having all of them be a "joke" is insulting. The parents could have given her a small gift as they knew her. I think that the fiance should have gotten her something at the very least!
Not just boyfriend: fiancé. She was planing on becoming part of that family and they hit her with this. I remember reading this and in the comments OP mentioned that one of those gifts of coal was from the fiancé. Even the FIANCÉ pulled this shit and didn’t get her a real gift. She actually went into detail about the personalized gifts she got for people and her gift-giving game is off the damn charts. It’s so sad that someone as thoughtful as her had to be insulted and humiliated like that.
If you think about it, the birthday kid did nothing wrong and was still punished, so the dad's just teaching the kids that the elf on a shelf is a jerk and no matter what they do, they will never be safe and secure. This is "father of the year" right there 😒
Update to that story from Reddit: 1.-Andy's dad is from Canada, he visit's Andy every spring, summer and on Christmas break. This year he stayed for his job, so he isn't an absent parent. 2.-After Andy's bd i told Miles to get out of the house, and so he did, he spent Christmas with my in laws. I stayed with the kids, and all of them slept in Andy's room. My kids didn't want to leave his brother alone. The next morning we opened the gifts and i made sure that Andy could feel special after what happened on his bd, so i wrote a note from "Bob". Saying that he is sorry if scared him and his siblings, he didn't do his job correctly so now he would be flying to the NP with Santa. And when he asked if Santa still remembered the kid of Xmas, he did. Santa was really happy to see him. 3.-My kids and i, are ok, we are sleeping at my parent's house. And we would celebrate NYE here too. 4.-Yes, Claire was usign the onesie while she was sleeping. My husband took the idea out of Tik Tok. And no, Andy, did nothing to even be "attacked" by Bob.
@@Mithandune Thank you for the update. I hope you and your family continue to heal and grow close. So glad the children are supporting each other. That shows your good parenting has been a wonderful example of how to treat each other.
When a couple is sent an invite, the normal thing is for them to get one invitation that addresses them both. It makes sense the daughter would be listed first, as she is, well, the daughter. Just as if his family sent an invitation, it would make sense for him to be listed first. He's just looking to make trouble and will isolate her from the family if she lets him.
I've never heard of any parents using the elf on the shelf as an excuse to terrorize their kids. When my dad did it, he just moved it around at night. He usually just hid it in funny places for me to find.
Some folks do slightly messed up things with their EotS, like having them 'get caught' in compromising positions with cigarettes, booze, or a bunch of undressed Barbie dolls (though stuff like this is usually for photogs and internet points), but agreed. This is straight-up bullying and being a douche.
Some folks also make the elf do stupid stuff besides the inappropriate stuff like cleaning toys or getting into marshmallows or fishing in the sink etc. The dude in the story was just being a douche
Most times that 'parents' use their EotS for bullying, they don't post it online and their kids don't post it online because of the 'rules'. Alot of the things people do with them is just abusive.
My brother and sister in law had their elf hide their (my s.i.l &brothers) pillows under their bed for the kids to find. The kids roared with laughter as they pulled the pillows out and my brother “scolded” the elf. It also hid in various places for them to find. My sister in law would throw my brother out if he pulled something like this “father” did.
On the last story, my family did something similar. We got my mom 4 bags of coal and she was a good sport about it. Then we showed her the new charcoal grill we got her to replace the one that didn't make the cross country move
That’s how you do a prank! As a kid I remember getting headphones and was really confused cus I didn’t have anything to go with them (this was the 90s), but was gracious anyway because I figured “hey, I could plug these into the TV and play Mario without annoying others”, or the small radio I had in my room and how I could play music whilst reading. My aunt who gifted them was impressed with my thinking and then revealed the Walkman CD player gift to go with the headphones (portable CD player you could put in your pocket). I was over the moon and loved how her prank turned into me thinking of ways to use the gift before knowing I’d actually have a Walkman, I think she expected confusion and wasn’t quite expecting me to figure an actual use for them before the gift XD
My mom had a joke at Christmas where she gave out coal. They were chocolate wrapped in black foil. She'd give them to anyone as stocking stuffers and it was a good time. What that family did to OP was beyond cruel. Message received, they wanted OP to know loud and clear what they think. "It's easier this way" bullllllshit.
Definitely. Joke "coal" is cute and fun. What they were doing was straight up weird and toxic. Also...depending on where they are in the US (I'm assuming this is the US)......coal ain't always that easy to find, or that cheap. There is NO way that getting coal (and then wrapping it) would be easier/cheaper than just.....a generic Starbucks gift card.
My husband does joke coal "chocolates" in my kids and my sister's stockings. But we put other things in there as well. It's fun. Just getting coal for Christmas definitely is not. I agree, total bullshit.
The last story: It's not just the fact that they were all gag gifts. Getting COAL sends a very specific message. It's like getting 18 messages saying "We don't like you. You're a bad person." I feel so sorry for OP. They were bullied for the holiday.
I think OP should have just grabbed back the gifts they had got for everyone and returned them since they obviously weren't valued. It may destroy the relationship, but honestly, the relationship isn't even worth it if that is how they are going to act.
She should just leave the whole relationship because her boyfriend actually got her coal too!! No other gift, just coal! Just like his family. This is some kind of sick hazing. And I agree, she should have snatched back those gifts and left, ALONE.
It's really sad when OP was so thoughtful about getting everyone a little something nice even if she didn't know them. It might have been funny if she hadn't brought gifts for the people she didn't know, and got embarrassed at first for not getting anything and seeing all the gifts, and then a bit of relief when it's all gag gifts anyway...
If I were OP I would have chucked a piece at the fiancée’s head and told them all off, take the gifts back and then left alone, and later would call off the engagement. One lump of coal is a gag, but 18 that’s an insult, and the fact that they sprung it on her with no warning whatsoever that’s completely unacceptable.
My wife's birthday is Dec. 24. Her parents always went to a great deal of trouble to keep her birthday and Christmas separate. While we dated and since we married, I and my family have done the same. Everyone, especially children, deserve to have a happy birthday, regardless of when it is.
Exactly. Having his birthday so close to christmas means it will be subsumed into Christmas celebrations if they don’t make a special effort to make it special. His unique circumstances necessitate that corrective adjustment and giving the same ‘correction’ to kids whose birthdays are already fully distinct would in fact be giving *them* special treatment.
A kid needs a little favoritism when your birthday gets overshadowed by the biggest holiday of the year for your whole life. That husband seems a little psychotic. Also, for the last story, you know what makes a good gift when you don’t know someone very well? A FRICKIN’ GIFT CARD!!!!
yes favoritism on a birthday is nothing bad. I guess it would be reasonable to ask to move 1 celebration like opening christmas presents on the next day or celebrating the birthday on the next one. There are other ways than to traumatise your kids.
It sounds like they just have christmas themed bdays 🤦🏾♀️ Like Bruh thats not really favoritism Like omg halloween baby gets a big halloween bash and is the pumpkin queen but everyone goes trick or treating...like not favoritism just making the best out of a situation
@@tschichpich I believe the kids birthday is Christmas Eve so they already open presents and stuff the next day. If I’m wrong- sorry. If not then there is no need for compromise. That “dad” is a monster imo. My heart really hurts for that kid 😔
@@affettatoprosciutto7139 possible. I'm opening on Christmas eve (from germany) maybe that's why i miss understood. That would make it even less understandable to me. I hate this father now even more
RSlash thinks that a drawing on a kid’s face with a Sharpie isn’t bad. We don’t know what was written or drawn and Sharpie ink lasts a lot longer than other marker ink. He wasn’t equally vicious but he’s definitely sadistic
I think Bob the Elf has one more prank to do, towards Miles. Maybe divorce papers, maybe destroying some of his property cos "honey, you were a bad boy, and anyway it's just a prank! Look, I'm laughing at you!"
Definitely not something most people bring up. But I can also sympathize with the guy as well. Sometimes just knowing is enough to overpower everything else because it changes how you see something, ignorance is bliss and all. If his anti-kink is having fake breasts, then that's his thing to deal with. And from what it sounds like, things just couldn't work out between them now that he knows. It's certainly not her fault for getting them, nor should he blame her for not telling him on a first date. I would say that if they were well into a very long relationship and things played out like this, then both would be at fault for not sharing as I feel that it is something that should be brought up eventually, even if done simply by dropping it while telling a story, or by him asking about something that clearly is a concern for him. I will say that it does sound like the guy has had some amount of "experience" in viewing obvious / "bad" plastic surgery to know he isn't into it to this extent. And if so, then that's not a good basis to make a judgment on, since they could have been acquired to help in their line of their work, where it is very much a category.
@@javelinjoe7034imo sure it might be a kink thing but it could be him wondering that if she “lied” or didn’t tell him about her body what else has she been keeping to herself. I may be stupid tho so
@@javelinjoe7034 I think that as long as it is not something that has been willingly kept hidden, then it's not her fault even if they have been in a long relationship. If you really don't like something, you should be the one making sure that your criteria have been met. How was she supposed to know that she had to share that info? He is the one that should have expressed it as a concern, as you have mentioned. (Ignoring the obvs fact that the dude sounds quite shitty by slutshaming and bodyshaming and insulting a whole group of people based purely on his own prejudices.
Right?? Imo it's no one's business EVER to know that surgery has been had. I just don't think you should have to disclose it but especially within the first 6 months? That's weird. That guy gives me bad vibes
Dude... That dad is absolutely insane, I feel so bad for the kids. Divorce material for sure. Who cuts up their daughter's clothes while they're sleeping? Jfc that could be traumatizing if she woke up and couldn't recognize him immediately. No. No no no.
your tripping if you think that would be traumatizing And divorsing a husband and father because he played harmless pranks on his kids like a dad should is insane,
@@jesusrodriguez4849 Cutting up a kid's clothes while they're wearing them (very very creepy and destruction of property) and destroying a kid's birthday cake for absolutely no reason (also destruction of property.) are not harmless pranks. Heck, even marking the kid's face with a sharpie isn't harmless, depending on how hard it was to get off (I've heard people mentioning using rubbing alcohol for it, but I can't imagine that being good for the skin).
Last story: Right, she embarrassed her bf they say, because opening 18 gifts containing coal isn't at all weird, awkward and embarrassing? Wtf man His family clearly doesn't care about her and what she went through.
Fr like rSlash said, ONE gift of coal is a funny haha moment and a fun lil quirky tradition. E V E R Y T H I N G being coal? That's just twisted and is obviously mocking the person... Like even if you don't know the person you can get them the usual generic "idk you" gifts. Socks, cookware, other bits and bobs. The usual stuff you give people you don't really know.
There's a common thing among some AITA posts where the boyfriend (usually) is essentially saying "Why aren't you playing along with the rules of the stupid thing we didn't tell you about?". I've seen it a few times now.
I had a teacher in highschool who was in a terrible car accident. She was a young woman, I think it was her first teaching job out of uni, and very beautiful by most standards. After the accident she required major reconstructive surgery. When she finally returned to work, after about a year or so, she looked completely different. Nobody had a mean thing to say about her because we all heard the news about what happened and why she looked different now. 10 years later (give or take) after I left school, I found myself talking to some young men who had finished more recently at a local games club. We got to talking about her, and their response was to kind of smirk and speak derogatorily of her, claiming she was vain and vapid because of her cosmetic surgery. Everybody was aware she'd had the surgery, but nobody was around to tell the story of how she came to have it.
@@molliannstocks2217 we all heard about the accident way before we knew she was having surgery. For a while it sounded like she may not even survive. The news about the surgery, having heard that some of her skull was crushed, wasn't met with more than, "of course, she'd need it." I'm kind of angry about those kids who are judging her for it; you're right, it's none of their business whether it was reconstructive surgery or just because of the way she looked. The fact that they just jumped to those conclusions and dismissed this woman boils my blood.
That is awful, glad she is ok! If it is for medical reasons I totally agree with plastic surgery, however, people who just do it because they are insecure about an aspect of themselves I struggle with. First because it doesn't help people's body image in general. People will often find flaws about themselves and with to change them and once they actually do it, it becomes addictive and the just keep going back to change more and more about themselves. It can lead to eating disorders and other body image struggles because they are constantly unhappy about themselves. Not to mention the underlying impact of every time they get complements they feel constantly proved right like: "See, I was ugly before I got (x procedure) done!" which of course makes them hate the way their body was before even more. Of course, not every person goes down these routes but a lot do. The second reason I dislike it is that they take their beautiful, unique selves and try to morph it to fit society's standards of beauty, which are both unrealistic and unhealthy both physically and mentally. It's a dangerous path to go own and in my opinion, if the person you are with wants you to change the way you dress, how you wear make up, or even pressure you into plastic surgery then they aren't worth it. Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way and we shouldn't feel pressured into changing ourselves or wearing a mask. You want someone who will be with you when you are old and wrinkly and no amount of plastic surgery can make you look good, that is the relationship I want. Let people be beautiful by themselves.
@@AW-wi1ep I agree, we should learn to love ourselves and be comfortable in our own skins. But people seem to delight in pointing out one another's perceived flaws as if we don't know what we look like. I can somewhat imagine the relief it must be to finally be able to stop the name calling, jokes, and jeers after years of living with physical differences that shouldn't be any body's concern but our own.
@@AW-wi1ep Agreed, especially when major injuries could be permanently scarring. I technically had plastic surgery as a kindergartener - I missed jumping into my bed late one night, splitting the bridge of my nose and corner of my eye socket on the metal bed frame. A plastic surgeon was already on his way to the pediatric ER for another call and took on stitching up my face. My parents lost count when he was nowhere near done with my nose after 50 stitches. You'd hardly ever notice the scars nowadays, even though I can still feel the nick in the bone next to my eye. If it wasn't for him, I couldn't imagine what those scars would look like today, and I'm forever grateful for him.
Last Story: Let me get this straight...OP's fiancee invites her to his family's Christmas celebration, she ends up with 18 gifts of coal and leaves because of it, and HE'S the one who's embarrassed? DUDE, YOU GAVE HER NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS BUT EIGHTEEN BOXES OF COAL!! How could he NOT be the Butthole?
yeah I was thinking, okay the relatives didn't know her and they gave her coal but you are the boyfriend did you not at least get her a proper gift? You as the boyfriend also gave her coal? what?
story 1: my mom did elf on the shelf with us when we were little and she would never rip up my clothes or draw on me with permanent marker. the worst she ever did was have the elf go on “vacation” when my sister and i couldnt stop fighting. it’s a fun family tradition, not an excuse to bully your young children
The last story with the gifts of coal also feels like a power play, to put the new person in the "family"... "in her place" and set the hirarchy. And when they complained that she embarrassed him, when she was not ok with this, instead of apologizing, seems like classic gaslighting to me..
It seems like a shitty hazing tradition that you'd expect a college fraternity to pull. If this family has the same mentality as college humor, I think it would be best to avoid their family gatherings
As someone born near Christmas, I really sympathize with Andy. Kids with birthdays around Christmas frequently get shorted on birthday presents and celebrations.
Not to mention a lot of your friends are traveling with their families so they can't make your birthday. I had a friend in high school born right near Christmas. I was the only one that showed up around his birthday.
With the coal story- it’s worse because OP did the due diligence of getting a gift for the in laws. She did a kind thing and got rewarded with 18 lumps of coal because they couldn’t be bothered to return her kindness. If instead she’d been told not to bring a gift, or to bring coal herself, the gifts of coal wouldn’t have been as mean. She’d have been allowed in on the joke instead of having 18 lumps of coal
Story 4: I think most people (understandably) mistake not liking plastic surgery for not liking bad plastic surgery. Because I think most can agree that the point of a good plastic surgery is to look or mimic natural. To not stand out as plastic surgery. So if people only notice the bad examples because they stand out, then they assume that all plastic surgery is that way.
There is another issue with plastic surgery. It can make beauty ideals even more unattainable unless people are very wealthy. The problem here is not with the girl who got plastic surgery but all the people who made her feel so insecure.
Beyond any of that, if someone doesn't like plastic surgery. And it is a turn off for them, no matter if it is good plastic surgery or botched. That's their right, just like it is anyone's right to get it.
it also seems that some people miss the line between surgeries that are reconstructive and those that are purely cosmetic because both fall under the category of plastic surgery.
I was tryna remember where I heard this argument setup before and I realized that basically rSlash made the same argument that toxic trans people would always make towards straight men. Basically saying they don't have to disclose that they're trans. If you find out they're trans and break up with them or if you don't date them cuz they are not biologically the gender they identify as then you're automatically a transphobic douchebag. Like, its a extremely unfair argument to make. rSlash even used the same claim they always use which is, "You only THINK you're not attracted to it."
When I was a kid, I just thought the elf on the shelf was a messenger for Santa, not a bully who would tear up my clothes or ruin my birthday if I misbehaved.
In this case, the birthday kid didn't misbehave. His jerk step father just wanted to ruin his birthday because a) he's weirdly jealous that OP makes a big deal of it b) the kid didn't misbehave so "Bob" could punish him.
Because they DON'T do that. They're just supposed to tell Santa if you're naughty. I don't know where this dude came up with the prank idea, but it's so damn weird
That's my understanding too. These "pranks" were rude and insenstive. I didn't notice until Rslash pointed out that he only did this to his stepkids and not his own biological kids, which makes it 10 times worse.
Also, something interesting about how the husband pranked the kids: Lucas (his son) only got sharpie faced, Clare (the daughter of both Miles and OP) got her favorite onesie DESTROYED, and Andy (OP’s son) had his birthday RUINED. So… who’s playing favorites here?
This past Christmas was my first time participating in the Elf on a Shelf tradition. You got the gist correct. It comes out of the box in December and gets moved all around the house each night and the kid(s) find it in various places each morning. Also, when first brought home, the kid(s) must give it a name. The key is that kid(s) are cautioned to never touch it or it loses its magic. There’s a ton of pics online of creative and funny things parents have done with their family’s elf. Having Bob eat a little bit of the cake could have been funny, but destroying the cake? Miles is a bully.
This mum in the first story is one of the first mums I’ve seen who didn’t belittle their kids birthday by marrying it up with Christmas if it’s around then.
We do the same thing for my cousin. His birthday is Christmas Eve, we always sing happy birthday and eat the cake before giving the gifts, and he tends to always have the most gifts since it’s technically two holidays for him. Out of everyone I got gifts for, he got the most, which my dad being the runner up and he only got two gifts from me.
I love that he actually gets his own day, I’ve always felt like it’s disrespectful to not give a kid their one special day out of the entire year because it’s near a big holiday.
The last story - I’m one of those people who puts a lot of time, thought and energy into gift giving. I would have been humiliated by that family’s coal gifts. It would feel like a slap in the face on Christmas. Instead of embracing OP’s presence in their sons life, they chose to haze her. I don’t blame her for leaving. It’s a cruel joke to pull on someone who already feels like an outsider as is trying to get to know the family.
@@molly-molly925 Yeah, because they all share the same sense of sick humor. They cruelly prank someone and, if they laugh it off, then they are welcomed by the family. It's ensuring only a certain type of person marries into the family. They are all a family of buttholes. OP was never going to be accepted because she's too different.
I would be beyond mortified if I got all coal. I remember how awkward I felt at my in-law's first Christmas just opening normal gifts, due to my social anxiety. So having that happen sounds like a nightmare. Even if it was just 5-7 gifts. 😩
The last story sounds like an actual nightmare. Its hard to say its a tradition, it sounds more like singling out a person to make them feel bad. Can't imagine how awkward she must've felt.
Right, OP turned down HER family Christmas with people who actually like her, can show her that with non "joke" gifts, and she turned that down for THIS BS. The parents must not want their kids to come to Christmas, because if they are putting ALL the SO through this, I'm sure their SO's want to avoid the parents at this time of year. This is a good reason for them to favor going to OP's family gathering over theirs in the future if they stay together.
He should have absolutely warned her what his family does, then had a super nice gift to compensate for what they were going to do if he couldn't talk them into at least giving her a random $10 gift card with the coal.
My birthday is also on Christmas Eve, and I need you guys to fully understand how easy it is for that to absolutely suck as a kid. I often would get one present from family members that would "count for both". My friends couldn't come to my birthday parties because of church, or they weren't in town, or they were just spending time with their family. It often made my birthday incredibly lonely, especially since my brother didn't have those issues (obviously this is not an issue now that I'm in my 20s). I love the tradition that the kid's biological dad started to help him feel special!
I feel your pain. I'm born on Dec 25th, and I share all of your experiences, except we didn't even have birthday parties because of Christmas. I think the bio dad was in the right for doing something special for the Christmas kid.
My son's BD was on Dec 30th and all my other children had spring, summer or fall birthdays. So we had him celebrate on his "half-birthday" so he could do an outdoor activity or something, so that we didn't have to celebrate right after Christmas. We still had a family party on the 30th, but it made it a lot better.
I don't get why more families don't just set an official unbirthday date for their christmas born kids. Why ruin one or the other holiday when you can have both? It's not fair to skip a kid's birthday just because other holidays exist.
my bday is the 26th. ever since I grew out of being gifted toys, its been hard. my friends are always out of town and everyone's holiday joy and spirit is over and they're tired. the past few bdays I've tried to k/ms and I always get the most depressed around this time of year. I am going to try to celebrate my birthday on a different day next year to see if that helps my mood
@@noelpans Genuinely try having an unbirthday, there's even a song you can use called The Unbirthday Song from Alice in Wonderland (disney 1951) The best part of an unbirthday - birthday party is that you can pick whatever day you like to celebrate every year. So you can specifically pick a day where all your friends are available and yout get to celebrate both the holidays AND your birthday. Regardless, I hope you have a very happy birthday no matter what day it's celebrated on because the fact you were born out of all the odds in the world should be appreciated for the miracle it is!
For Story 1: my family has an Elf on the Shelf, and how OP’s husband had Bob act was so wrong. The elf never punishes children for naughty behavior. They leave at night to report to Santa if the kids are behaving. They return home before the kid wakes up, which is why they move to different spots. With my family, my cousins love waking up and figuring out where the elves moved to. And the elves have some fun at night when they’ve got free time, so they’ll roast marshmallows over the fireplace, or hide in the tree, or draw pictures for the kids. Little things that’s fun for the kids to discover in the morning. OP’s husband was insanely cruel to all the kids, but especially OP’s kids, for how he treated this. The cake was terrible. There’s no excuse for that behavior. And so was cutting up the onesie, especially for the daughter. If the kids learned the “lore” then they know that the elves can’t be touched or they lose their magic. It’s devastating for a child to realize they probably hurt the elf. My cousin knocked over a bookcase once and accidentally touched an elf, and she still remembers it years later. This whole story was so f**ked up!
First story: what kind of Grinch seriously thinks that destroying someone else’s property, a CHILD’S property, counts as an acceptable prank!? at CHRISTMASTIME!? That’s not a jokester- that’s a bully who’s picked out his favorite victims and it’s clearly her kids, not his.
@@lorilancaster5917 Thank god I found another person who mentions those jerks. They watch the birthday of their children's friend get ruined and just LAUGH?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM?! This seriously makes me question how they treat their own kids. Miles and those parents are literal psychopaths
*[Cheerful elf voice]* _"The child has not cleaned his room!! The child has been designated as 'naughty'!! Pigs blood! Shower the child with pigs blood!!"_
Having a birthday close to Christmas can make the two celebrations run together, so making the Christmas Baby feel special is actually good, because otherwise it can feel like his birthday is only an afterthought. Like he's only getting half a birthday.
Yeah, and quite a lot of kids don't get a proper birthday celebration, and even gifts, due to it being on christmas or close around christmas. Which is really sad. It's not like they chose to be born around that time.
My birthday is on the 13th of December, and even that was too close. Sometimes I just didn't get a birthday present at all because it was too close to Christmas.
@@Stefisgarden I really feel for you. That's just mean and unfair. I have a friend whose birthday is just a few days after and her family makes the effort to seperate the two occassions. I truly hope your birthdays nowadays are better and a thing of their own.
Some of us are born on Christmas Day and have never gotten actual birthday. I had one birthday party when I was 11 years old because I asked for a 1/2 birthday. As an adult, my inlaws and my husband do a very large amount of leg work to ensure I feel special on the day. I.e. Christmas dessert is birthday cake, my favorite kind too. But yes, only getting gifts and acknowledgment one day a year on A-day when everyone else also gets gifts to acknowledgment is super frustrating when you're a kid
For the elf on a shelf story: my family does it and some things are pretty funny and once in a while one of us will wake up to a sharpied face (from the siblings instead) but has our parents ever ruined our clothes for some "prank"? nope, that is just a bad dad
When I was 10 my dad joked that I was gonna get coal for Christmas. I didn't think he was serious because I was being good. Well Christmas morning came and I only had a tin with coal chips in it in my stocking. I cried and cried. My mom had backup gifts in the cabinet but it was still traumatizing. I feel like as an adult getting that from my future in-laws would be even worse.
First story - there is a lot of people who were born on Christmas Day and suffered because theirs birthday was forgotten or just less important. OP is doing well by making Andy feel special. If husband thinks they should treat all chidren equally - does that mean other kids shouldn't have birthday too?
Exactly, that is my friend. He is born on Christmas and he is called Noel Nicholas. Everyone always forgets his birthday so I made a point of making a special birthday for him at mine on boxing day with three gifts and every year his parents call me to say how selfish I am as he misses their boxing day brunch to come to my house. I actually blocked them but they end up calling me on one of the relatives who are staying with them.
@@zsazsasays1573 Wow. Keep being a good friend and keep that block button ready, you're probably helping make up for YEARS of sadness from forgotten birthdays. Those parents suck
My daughter was born about a week before and I always try to make a big deal about it since my stepdad is born in early December but mentioned once that because it was so close to Christmas his parents didn’t do much for his birthday, unlike his siblings. And other people I’ve known say similar things. They get a few small gifts while their siblings get a bunch of stuff and their parents say, you just got a bunch of gifts for Christmas. I’m not sorry about this, but my kid’s birthday is 1000 times more important than Christmas will ever be. I don’t get her many gifts for her birthday because she’s still having birthday parties and gets gifts from other kids. As she gets older I’ll get her more, and I’ll do the same for her summer time brother
@@Nevertoleave I was born a week before Christmas too, and I gotta say, I love what you’re doing! Please keep it up! I’m in my 30s now and I found that one of the hardest times of having my birthday a week before was actually once I was in college, because my family wasn’t always around to celebrate, and my friends would rarely be in town because they would have gone back home to their families for Christmas. At least when I was a kid, the other kids were usually physically there. Ever since, I’ve basically done things on my own, with my partner, or with my parents on my birthday (depending on life circumstances), without even trying to plan things with other people; that way I don’t feel let down and still have a great day. I’ve also made it clear to friends that I will not be purchasing two separate gifts for their birthday and Christmas if they won’t do the same for me, because I’ve been burned way too many times (like, I spend $60 on gifts for them over the two holidays and they get me like one $15 gift and call it even - I’m sure that sounds dumb, and I understand people are already having to spend money on Christmas presents for loved ones so don’t want to have the extra birthday present expenses, but you can only get a single bag of 3 $1 tea lights and have it called a double present so many times). So keep up the effort as your child gets older and keep being an awesome parent! Ps - one of my favorite bday parties as a kid was when we held my party on June 18th so that I could have a pool party when I turned 13. It felt really special to have the day only be about my birthday.
The elf on the shelf story would have been funny had the dad pulled out a 2nd untouched cake and said 'hey kiddo I had a feeling Bob would do this so I hid the real cake away'. Simple as that
Yeah, that husband clearly just used Bob as an excuse to ruin a tradition he resents. The husband is a major asshole and OP should insist he get come counseling to deal with his shit.
@@jariccacierra8445 Except the husband didn't even have the fig leaf excuse that the birthday boy was 'bad', right? He just ruined the kid's birthday (and the party for every kid in attendance) because Miles is a jackass.
How the boyfriend should’ve handled the situation in the last story: Hey my family has tradition of giving coal to new comers on their first Christmas. Just play along. I will give you your actual Christmas present later in the day.
First Story, NTA: Is OP married to a grown man or a man child? "Keep the magic" he is the one who touched Bob in the first place? Also, these "pranks" aren’t pranks, this is straight up abuse to me. A kid doesn’t do chores, he destroys a onesie? Also, the fact this man moved Bob and put him there all because Andy not once misbehaved is alarming. OP's husband is a major red flag bro. I didn’t even think of it like that; rSlash is right. His kid got the least bad punshment and OP's kid got the worst one. So not only is this guy a walking red flag, he is a hypocrite Second Story, NTA: Wait, what? How is OP responsible for this? These are grown ass adults. They can get there on time themselves Third Story, YTA: What?! I’m with OP's mom on this one. Why is Luke upset with this? I thought the invitation with both names on their was to show that they are one as a couple. Luke is weird bro, he really try a petty power play for what? Fourth Story, NTA: I didn’t finish the story yet but I want to say something first. Max don’t speak for all of us, he only speaks for himself when he said "how men prefer natural over two balloons" and the other sexist thing he said. He is weird bro. First off, that is personal information and second he is just a misogynist Fifth Story, NTA: What kind of messed up tradition is this? OP embarassed him??? No, they embarassed OP. OP's fiancé should’ve warned OP about this so she could’ve avoided this horrible "tradition". Does OP want to be married into this family?
I probably would have grabbed ‘Bob’ and thrown him out of the house with a, “time for Bob to get out. He’s a naughty elf and isn’t welcome in this home anymore if he’s going to be so mean.”
Story 3: In my opinion, "support your spouse" means you are a unit that receives invitations together, and Luke is being the bum by saying that he doesn't his name as an extension. I got news for you Luke, if your nieces and nephews are anything like me, they may only remember your name by first recalling your wife's name. If may go the other way where your wife's name is recalled by first recalling yours. But it all the same, you've been a unit together since "I do." Story 4: If it is a tradition, OP needs a heads up and also 18 is too much. They could have done the same thing OP did and gift chocolate, and stick to tradition make it in the shape of coal.
I mean, that’s better, but still. 18 of the EXSCT SAME GIFT is too much. It doesn’t matter what it is, if you open 18 of the exact same thing, unless it’s cash, it’ll ultimately feel just like getting 18 lumps of actual coal.
The wedding story is one of those that really makes me wonder how some people make it in life. Like, the parents have to have jobs, they raised children, have their own house, etc. so..are they always late to events such as a wedding? I’m going to need more of a backstory to understand how 2 grown adults can’t make it to their child’s wedding by 2 pm.
I would imagine they actually manage just fine to be on time for things that are important to/have consequences for *them*. My extended family was like this and it is 100% voluntary. "Oh we have to be somewhere by 3 pm for Thanksgiving? Well, I want to stop at somebody else's house on the way there...guess they'll just have to wait for us. They'll understand." Only way to nip it in the bud is...to just start stuff without them and let them know you mean business. I can get why OP's sister didn't want her wedding day to be that battleground, but that's what happens when you let that behavior slide for YEARS.
The other parents that were laughing break my heart for the kid… but what op needs is a divorce because her kids cut her out of their lives for her husbands doing (and was he literally mad because his kid didn’t misbehave) Also what his bio father did is amazing. I have December birthday and always hated it because no one remembers because of Christmas but making that kid feel special because he was born so close to Christmas is amazing.
First story: OP could do some revenge by roping the father all over and throwing him in the closet, and placing Bob before him - he has been a naughty boy after all. P.S. I despise TH-cam and his censorship laws. Susan, you get 6/5 Buttholes.
If I remember correctly, the first story is 100 times worse because, on top of the kid doing absolutely nothing wrong except not get pranked, the daughter was WEARING the clothes when her dad cut them up.
@slytherindork8459 Yes, OP updated the post clarifying Claire was, in fact, wearing the onesie when it was cut up. Apparently he got the idea from TikTok.
Last one, about Coal as a Christmas gift: Pull a 'reverse uno', and loudly exclaim on getting the last lump "Wow! Now I can forge that throwing knife set that I always wanted! Thanks!".
Story 2: Screw them, you didn't agree to be the babysitter for these two adults who should have known better. Also ask your sister when did she assign that to you, if her sentence starts off with I assumed, or you should, then immediately interrupt her and say well that's your fault. They're adults it's not your responsibility. But I know why everyone's blaming you, they spent so long being manager parents that they don't want to anymore so they're mad at you because it's easier, and your parents are jumping on the bandwagon because that mean they avoid any responsibility for their own negligence. Tell your family that you're not a scapegoat and tell her parents that maybe if they were less inconsiderate of other people time they would make it to events.
Considering this one story from OP, I think we can all get the idea of why they didn't want to stay with their parents in the first place. I can't imagine their lack of time management is the one thing they come up short on.
They sound like they would get along with the parents of that one OP that gave them the wrong time on their wedding invitation to trick them into being on time for the wedding
So yes Rslash, I had an elf on the shelf when I was a kid. He also had a reindeer. Most of my friends had the same setup as well. There's lore to it, the idea is that Santa sends his smallest elves and tiniest reindeer to keep an eye on kids while also basically hyping them for Christmas by doing random ultimately harmless pranks when no one is around. For example, I remember my elf and deer doing things like eating a bunch of cookies of a plate overnight, or making their way into the garage, flying around and getting stuck on the door safety pull cord thing. Or getting into some cake icing, pushing over small decorations so they have somewhere to sit. That sort of thing. My friend's dad once set up the elf and deer tied to the ceiling fan, like they flew around swinging a rope and it got caught on the spinning blade. It's meant to be harmless fun that you look back on fondly and go "wow, that little elf got into all kinds of trouble". Not whatever that guy did. It's supposed to make you type out long-winded comments like this because the happy memories come back and give you a chuckle when you hear about the elves again. It's not supposed to be bullying your own kids, that's pretty fucked
Story 5: I don't think this family understands the point of coal in Christmas. Coal is given to naughty people that doesn't deserve good gifts. When you're given a pile of gifts and all of them turn out to be coal, that tends to give negative implications, like the family doesn't actually love you and wants to humiliate you. Screw that tradition. Let it burn
I got coal once However, it was only one gift from my uncle and auntie, they did give me two gifts, the other one had a board game (I didn't know at the time that it was from them) I ended up giving coal back to them because they had a fireplace and I wanted to give it to them in case they might need it someday
Imagine being a little kid and your parents bring this elf in your house, and at first everything is super cool and funny, but then the elf starts doing really, really mean things, like eating your freaking birthday cake... Yeah, I'd be scared af. That's horror movie material
2:04 It's in the update, but OP forgot to mention that Claire was using the onesie when the husband cut the holes. Meaning that the husband cut the holes in the onesie when Claire was wearing/sleeping in the onesie. And he got the idea from TikTok. Dude, he could have cut her. Why the hell did he cut clothes while they were being worn?
Story 5 he didn't even bother to inform her of this tradition until after she got upset, he was just content to get her hopes up and watch her crash wtf
As a person who did Elf on the Shelf as a kid. The elf is not ment to be cruel. The point of them being there is to watch the kids behavior and report back to Santa. And move places the next day to have the children find them. Sometimes they play prankes but its allways something small like being near the cookie jar with a cookie that has a bight taken out of it.
Story 1: I get sociopathic vibes from this man. Like, cutting up a little girl's clothing and wrecking a cake? That is not a prank! And yeah, Elf on the Shelf is supposed to be that the Elf is in a different place every morning, not whatever the husband was doing
Could be 100% wrong, but I read somewhere, on a different channel, that the girl was wearing the onesie when it got cut up. If that’s true, the story is infinitely worse than we thought.
@@gaxalee7392 correct, she was wearing it. So just think about looming over a sleeping toddler with scissors, cutting up clothes on her body… that’s messed up.
Elf on the shelf, to my knowledge works as a messenger to Santa, he watches over kids during the day, then at night he goes to Santa to report what kid's in that house are good or bad. That's why he's always in a different spot in the morning
My family does Elf on a Shelf. Hearing that first story hurt me on a very personal level, emotionally, and OP has every right to be absolutely furious at Miles for being such a monster to her children. "Idk if this is divorce material, tbh..." - All due respect, Dabney, psychologically abusing children, let alone children that are a part of your own family is 100% divorce material and beyond. Not gonna lie, if I had children and my husband dared to do this to my children if they had a birthday on Christmas - I probably would have gotten physical given how much Elf on the Shelf meant to my little brother growing up and such. (Who the fuck does that to their own children?!) Miles is not a human being - he's a monster that doesn't deserve a family. Because clearly he has no qualms over tormenting his own flesh and blood for his own amusement at their expense.
14:00 Guilty. I really dislike it when people do plastic surgery. BUT not when it's to try and look more normal like removing scars or fixing broken noses. I dislike the ones where people think they look ugly and do it to "look better" yet they look super fake after. Like: Rodrigo Alves, Jocelyn Wildenstein (2015) or Natasha Crown.
For the last story, I honestly won't be surprised if OP ends the relationship over this because what his family did is very cruel and no matter what tradition it belongs to, one coal is a funny gag gift but 18???!!!?! OP you deserve an apology and REAL gifts from his family. If your bf makes this a hill to die on, dump him. His family is toxic.
Fourth story: there is actually an online store that makes marshmallow treats that look like coal. The family should just switch to that, then everyone would he happy. They could still have their tradition and the newcomer would get a bunch of sweets
I don't know about other households, but this is the way elf on the shelf worked in my mom's household. The elf, named by the kids, is basically just a spy for Santa. He moves around during the night and he make sure that the kids are being good. If they are bad he reports back to Santa. There is no punishment from Bob for being bad. I personally hated elf on a shelf and never did that with my daughter. I felt it was too big brother to do.
7:53 if my mom told me it was my responsibility to make sure she wasn't late somewhere then she'd need to find a different ride because I will walk out then and there. You are never ever responsible for your parents unless it's a responsibility you willingly and knowingly took on. Let my family talk to me like this even once, they'll never find me again.
Also wtf did the parents think was happening when OP was getting ready and leaving for the church? They live 30 minutes away and they were 35 minutes late? They didn't leave until AFTER the event was scheduled to start! I also love that the parents didn't even say, hey OP what time are you gonna start getting ready for the wedding? What time are you planning to leave? Clearly neither of them can be bothered to manage time. For something so important, I can't believe neither of them thought to set some timers to prompt them. ANYTHING.
My 1st grade class room used to have an elf on a shelf and she/he didn't do anything that would hurt a kids feeling, elf on the shelf would wright notes, move around and sometimes hide in something (stuff animals and the Christmas tree) only. She/he wouldn't write something like "Bethany(fake name) is fat" the only note it wrote and the only one that I can remember was "I'm leaving soon"
For the final story I feel like they could have given OP chocolate. I don't know about the rest of the planet, but here in the USA we have a candy that is a Crunch bar in the shape of coal lumps. Than it would not only stay a tradition, but it would remain a sweet tradition.
I feel like there's another layer to the coal story... after all: lumps of coal are only given to naughty children who don't deserve presents by having been bad during the rest of the year... so basically that family implies in a roundabout way that everyone who hasn't been a member of the family up until that point must be a horrible person? That's not only humiliating, I think that's a roundabout way of character assassination.
@@fdm2155 Yes, I agree. In fact, I wouldn't have stood for it myself, but her partners family could have & should have either asked him or gotten her something everyone likes suchlike chocolate. For example, I have a young cousin and she loves horses. I noticed on Thanksgiving that she had a white plastic horse. So I got a hold of my older cousin, aka her mother, on FB and asked about it. She told me that her daughter loves horses. This made me ecstatic because days before I had found a ride-able talking horse. It was soft and the battery box was easily accessible with it being in the neck. As soon as my young cousin saw it she exclaimed in excitement and hugged me. It made my day because I was kinda concerned she may not like it as much as I hoped, but she also hugged me. That surprised me since she is normally quite shy towards me.
I'm born with a left lip so when I was hearing this I tear up a little, I thought about getting plastic surgery even as a kid because people look at you differently and got bullied to the point where I didn't wanna live, didn't wanna look in the mirror, but I kinda love my left lip even if it reminds me of the bad memories I wouldn't want to change it because it's my flaw and grow to love it
First story: as a person who's done elf on the shelf for going on 14 years for my little sibling, i can say that what is described in the story is 100% *not* something that should be happening. Yeah the elf gets into mischief if you want them too, but that's like... Making a small snowman indoors in the sink, or taking peoples clean undergarments and hanging them off the chandler with a cheeky I see London I see France vibe. What the father did in that story was straight up horrific. I can stretch the cheekiness to *maybe* the marker on the face, but even that's a little too far. Cutting up clothes and ruining a birthday?? That's straight up disgusting behavior and not in the spirit of the elf at *all*. The poor kids
From "Am I the butthole" to "Am I the A" now to "Am I wrong" Respect your grind Dabney As for the 4th story, I myself do prefer natural, but if one feels that they need a cosmetic surgery they 100% have my support
I REALLY don't like the latest version. because being an asshole has a completely different vibe than being wrong. why not AITA, just the abbreviation? @rSlash I know why you're changing it, but it's just weird. just say the letters. there's no way youtube will demonetize your vids in that way and it stays true to the OG name.
Here is the issue i fee is being overlooked. Op built a relationship off of decit. Yes it is not a big “omg” moment like in many other stories, but, it is still deceitful. And that is why he reacted the way he did. However, to chastise him for that is just….well dumb and ignorant and bias as heck
I vividly remember being young and having nightmares about how some of my stuffed animals that I didn't entirely like would come to life and do things like grab and pull on my arms, or just overall scare me. Using an elf on the shelf that way is exactly how you fuel that fear
That family's Christmas "tradition" and my boyfriend not warning me would have hurt me more than being cheated on. If only he had apologized after maybe the relationship could have been saved...
@@DrakeNAllen I don't give a flip about gifts ☺️ it's about the anticipation and everyone being in on the joke and that joke is you, in the end. The humiliation is worse for me, cause the partner has nothing to gain from it. If he cheats, it is because he can't control himself, or is selfish and not because he wants to intentionally hurt me, it is not about me.
@@mariposa9506 to each it's own, of course. I might be in a minority on this, I know. I just wanted to point out that people to whom humiliation is worse than cheating also exist ☺️
My dad also used the Elf of the shelf thing to terrorize my sister and I. He threw our underwear outside and we only noticed it when the bus picked us up (we were 5 and 8), destroyed the house (tp everywhere, silly string up and down the stairs, smudges on windows and picture frames) and we had to clean it up, and ripped apart our toys. We only had it for a week before my mom threw it away.
I would say not cool just because that's his tradition, something less useful would be helpful in this department. Like literal gifts of nothing. "We don't really know you, so you bring nothing to our lives, so that's what we brought you to this event"
Can I just note that the whole "kid of Chrismas" part OP of the first story was super sweet? Like, I've heard so many stories of people having bdays so close to holidays having bad times. That's such a good idea to make sure the kid feels special on his birthday AND on Christmas!
"We don't understand. There's absolutely no reason for them to cut us off. We just have some [disagreement] last week and they said that will never meet us ever again." Gee I wonder why the missing reason keep missing
What is wrong with the husband in the first story? That wasn't something for the kids, that was something for the husband to attack the kids. I can see why he his last wife left him and I feel bad for his son. Edit: Checked and there's been an update. Mainly that OP booted Miles out of the house, all the kids are sticking by Andy after what happened, mamaged to salvage Christmas for Andy, then she took them all to spend NYE with her parents. Turns out Miles took it off *Tik-Tok* because of course that's how parenting works. They didn't comment anything else besides the update
As soon as she mentioned “Elf on the Shelf”, I knew things were going to be bad. Whoever decided to start that “””tradition””” needs to pay dearly for all the trust issues all the children who have experienced it have gotten. Gaslighting is NOT a fun Christmas activity!
Story 1: To make it clear he cut up his daughter's favorite pajamas while she was wearing them so she woke up to 'Bob' having destroyed her clothes. This man is using the elf on the shelf to 'prank' aka abuse the children. The birthday boy did nothing wrong but he just had to get him. There was an update to this story, OP managed to help her little boy regain the magic of being a Christmas child, and if I recall correctly she's leaving his ass for what he did to the kids.
I agree so much with your comment. My stepmom was the same but it started out Subtle, though unlike this guy who just outright started doing shit Towards them in the name of Bob.
That first story. Oh my God I’m in I’m a teacher that is the perfect example of why I am against elf on the shelf so often do I see parents use it as an excuse to basically bully their children. Like not every parent does it like this, but it’s way more common that should be and then maybe that’s a sign that we should get rid of them.
My bf and I did elf on the shelf with a little snowman and it was so fun trying to find increasingly chaotic or intricate setups to make eachother laugh. This snowman made us dinner, played our xbox, spied in our bathroom, slept in our bed, and passed out in the recliner :P it was super wholesome and silly for us, that dad is so cruel with zero motive
Elf on the shelf is basically there's an elf that moves throughout the house every night until Christmas and if the kids does something bad the efi reports it to Santa
If that happened at a party I attended, I'd have to get that child a cake. I wouldn't even ask. That child would have a cake. The only way this would have been funny is if it was not the real cake, and they immediately brought out the actual cake.
Not only was the whole family delusional for having the expectations that Op make sure grown adults get to their daughter's wedding on time, some of the comments were calling Op the AH. It's their daughter's wedding. If they can't put in the extra effort to make sure they arrive on time, that's literally their problem and not Op's.
So wild to me that the OP in the story about the late parents is being considered TA by the family, and not the people who couldn’t be bothered to get there on time. Like, seriously, your own child’s wedding is so unimportant to you that you needed to be reminded to get ready and go? I am perpetually late because of a bad combination of time blindness and consistently underestimating how long things take. But that’s MY problem, MY consequences, my responsibility. It’s no one else’s job to get me out the door on time except my own, and when I’m late it’s no one’s fault but my own.
@@Anonymous_Individual its super insulting too. like they have a space for kids to go on, why do we adults have to have our space regulated like that? i'm an adult, i want to hear adult fucking swear! youtube is being so insulting like this!
Is TH-cam really cracking down on RSlash that bad where Dabney has to stop saying "Am I the Butthole" AND "Am I the A"?
Yup. You can't say "hell", but you can upload sadistic animal cruelty.
genuinely painful but you gotta do what you gotta do
Yup theyre on a crackdown now, its really stupid imho
The bosses of you tube is gonna make everyone leave this site I'm so mad for everyone affected
I legit paused the video to comment "is rslash coming under fire for something and that's why he's saying "the A" or "wrong?" We must protect this man from the fire
The whole "lore" with elf on the shelf is that the elf watches the kids to make sure they behave and then reports back to Santa every night, and that's why it moves. The elf's job is not to punish, so the dad is just a psychopath who enjoys tormenting children.
And u can do fun lil pranks but not ruin ur own child’s birthday cake
@@scxxt3r_ or cut up a little girls clothes while she’s sleeping
That’s exactly what I was about to say.
He’s there as a spy for Santa and that’s why he can be found in some weird places. One day he’s climbed to the top of a little girl’s dresser in her room, the next day he’s peering around the side of the little boy’s toy box in his room, the day after that he’s looking over the cookie jar on the kitchen rack, etc.
He’s meant as a bit of fun - not there to traumatise kids.
If you’re gonna have him “playing pranks”, make them innocent pranks, like the texta on the forehead reading “hello” and have him peering around some furniture with a texta in his hand.
You don’t do what Miles did with it.
@@goofyrat2938 while she's sleeping IN THOSE PJS TOO!!!
This
Update on Story 1: OP immediately kicked Miles out of the house. Spent Christmas alone with the three kids, and Andy got an "apology note" from Bob who assured him that Santa remembers the kid of Christmas.
Then she and the kids stayed with her parents at least through New Years. Hopefully dad takes the hint and realizes how wrong he was and can work to fix things. I don't know though he doesn't seem like the type.
That OP did what I hoped she would do! Miles needs to understand that shit isn't okay and that is being a manchild.
i don't think someone who looks forward to abusing children and being mad that one doesn't misbehave so they could mess with them is someone who would change.
Good! Put the father in the corner and keep him there until HE learns HIS lesson. You act like a manchild, you get punished like one.
@@abiean222 That is someone who has no business being around children. I can only hope that OP has since separated/divorced and has primary custody of at least her son and daughter ...... and maybe her husband's son as well if the boy's mother is not in the picture ...... which makes me wonder if Miles' penchant for cruelty is the reason for them is not being together.
@@vaporean_boylove.0w083 even with all the ghosts of douchebags past, present, and future Miles is so deep in denial to realize how abusive he’s being
Story 1: As the scapegoat child myself, it was quite triggering to hear Andy's dad wanted to punish him even though he did nothing wrong. This WILL stay with the kid.
It's going to make the kid hate his stepfather for the rest of his life.
My dad was like that too, once when my brother burnt the food they were cooking together, my father forced me to eat this burnt crap while threatening to beat me and screaming "EAT!!!" less than a foot away from my face. Plus when my brother broke a pool cue, my father forced me to drink strong alcohol when I was like 11 and choked me.
You really never forget when your dad mistreats you, especially when you did nothing wrong.
@@PaladinGear15 so true. I still vividly remember the day my brother stubbed his toe on the other side of the room and my mom jumped up, grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the ground.
Agreed, and unless the mother takes very serious action soon, she'll be posting a few years from now wondering why Andy doesn't talk to her, hubby and siblings anymore...
WHAT?!!!!
@@SoManyRandomRamblings
Something I’m surprised Rslash missed on the “Elf on a Shelf” story: Andy never actually misbehaved or did anything wrong. He maintained good behavior, did everything right, and STILL had his birthday ruined. Like his stepdad was just waiting for him to fuck up like “oh boy I can’t wait for an excuse to fuck with my stepson” and then said “he hasn’t done anything wrong but it’s his bday and I just can’t pass up a chance to ruin it!” Straight up sadistic cruelty.
WHAT THE F@@K!?
He did mention it before moving to the next story.
He did mention it
OK, so maybe not missed entirely but brushed over.
His step dad sound to be as sadistic as mine, I hope he does what i did and disown him when he's older, I hope he and his siblings do the same and they have a happy life
So fun fact about the first story. OP actually made a few edits and explained that when her husband cut up their daughter’s onesie, the daughter was actually asleep and WEARING IT WHILE HE WAS CUTTING IT UP. That makes things even WORSE because if he wasn’t careful, he could have EASILY cut the daughter.
OP said she kicked the husband out of the house and repaired things with the kids, who were nothing but loving and supportive towards their brother after the incident at his birthday. No word on whether or not they’re getting divorced, but that should be a BIG wake up call for OP. The husband’s behavior is terrifying and I dont think OP’s kids are safe around him anymore.
In that case, I would actually call the police, you can make the argument that this is straight up child abuse. Like the whole daddyofive situation
OP needs the husband to read her post and the Reddit responses. If he STILL is doubling down, being defensive, and asserting his authority then it's time for a divorce. This guy really, really freaks me out. Like, legit SAW vibes here.
@@ImNotaRussianBot Even if he were to read the post and the Reddit responses, this man should still be out. If the bio mum of the stepchild is still in the picture, she needs to get custody of their child and OP should run with hers. This is disgusting. The fact that he cut up an outfit his daughter was wearing while she was sleeping is divorce territory. The fact that he got jealous of one of the children whose birthday happened to be the day before Christmas is divorce territory. The fact that he TERRORISES CHILDREN for fun should sure as effing hell be divorce territory. I wouldn't stay with a man like this. No way.
If the girl was asleep, that does make this, like, ten times worse. My brain immediately jumps to the worst possible scenario, & that comes off as the worst kind of creepy.
Also, what if she’d woken up? Imagine that. You’re sleeping peacefully when suddenly you wake up to see daddy cutting your PJs w/ (hopefully) scissors. That would scar the poor girl for life.
What if the husband was a pedo
In the first story when OP said she grabbed the elf on a shelf and threw him away and then grabbed her husband, I thought she was going to say she threw him away too, cause clearly she needs to, he's a psycho.
Child: Why is dad in the bin?
Mum: Oh he was rubbish so I threw him away with Bob
The last story: OPs boyfriend should have warned her. He should have said ,”hey my family has this stupid tradition where all newcomers get coal for Christmas. Just play along and I’ll take you out for drinks afterward.” I would have been like. Okay, fine. I’ll play along but you owe me!
Something! I wouldn't be surprised if that isn't what most other couples did. Fiance told the person in advance that the gifts would be a family joke and not to get upset.
If I was in that situation, I wouldn't taken all the gifts I gotten them, and set them on fire, conveniently with the fresh coal I gotten for Christmas, as they watch in disbelief, and when they ask "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" "oh just using the best gift every, thanks guys"
revenge is best served over a roaring fire
@@Josh_the_jester HAHA! I wouldn't have thought of that and that would have been rightfully deserved! One or two gag gifts can be fun. But having all of them be a "joke" is insulting. The parents could have given her a small gift as they knew her. I think that the fiance should have gotten her something at the very least!
Not just boyfriend: fiancé. She was planing on becoming part of that family and they hit her with this. I remember reading this and in the comments OP mentioned that one of those gifts of coal was from the fiancé. Even the FIANCÉ pulled this shit and didn’t get her a real gift. She actually went into detail about the personalized gifts she got for people and her gift-giving game is off the damn charts. It’s so sad that someone as thoughtful as her had to be insulted and humiliated like that.
If you think about it, the birthday kid did nothing wrong and was still punished, so the dad's just teaching the kids that the elf on a shelf is a jerk and no matter what they do, they will never be safe and secure. This is "father of the year" right there 😒
Big celebration where the elf gets sent back to santa the same way Norwegian letters are, through the chimney.
Seriously. That whole thing sounded like the beginning of a horror movie
@@wingracer1614 And hes one of those deluded villains that sees absolutely nothing wrong with their actions
Update to that story from Reddit:
1.-Andy's dad is from Canada, he visit's Andy every spring, summer and on Christmas break. This year he stayed for his job, so he isn't an absent parent.
2.-After Andy's bd i told Miles to get out of the house, and so he did, he spent Christmas with my in laws. I stayed with the kids, and all of them slept in Andy's room. My kids didn't want to leave his brother alone. The next morning we opened the gifts and i made sure that Andy could feel special after what happened on his bd, so i wrote a note from "Bob". Saying that he is sorry if scared him and his siblings, he didn't do his job correctly so now he would be flying to the NP with Santa. And when he asked if Santa still remembered the kid of Xmas, he did. Santa was really happy to see him.
3.-My kids and i, are ok, we are sleeping at my parent's house. And we would celebrate NYE here too.
4.-Yes, Claire was usign the onesie while she was sleeping. My husband took the idea out of Tik Tok. And no, Andy, did nothing to even be "attacked" by Bob.
@@Mithandune Thank you for the update. I hope you and your family continue to heal and grow close. So glad the children are supporting each other. That shows your good parenting has been a wonderful example of how to treat each other.
When a couple is sent an invite, the normal thing is for them to get one invitation that addresses them both. It makes sense the daughter would be listed first, as she is, well, the daughter. Just as if his family sent an invitation, it would make sense for him to be listed first. He's just looking to make trouble and will isolate her from the family if she lets him.
I think he is doing it to separate her from her family....that's what abusers do...do you noticed how he spoke to her in the story
Yes, he's unhinged and she needs to dump him. Seriously, being that adamant that he get his own invitation? He's got a screw loose.
I've never heard of any parents using the elf on the shelf as an excuse to terrorize their kids. When my dad did it, he just moved it around at night. He usually just hid it in funny places for me to find.
Some folks do slightly messed up things with their EotS, like having them 'get caught' in compromising positions with cigarettes, booze, or a bunch of undressed Barbie dolls (though stuff like this is usually for photogs and internet points), but agreed. This is straight-up bullying and being a douche.
Some folks also make the elf do stupid stuff besides the inappropriate stuff like cleaning toys or getting into marshmallows or fishing in the sink etc. The dude in the story was just being a douche
Most times that 'parents' use their EotS for bullying, they don't post it online and their kids don't post it online because of the 'rules'. Alot of the things people do with them is just abusive.
@@GalliaUchiha came here to say this, Elf of the Shelf have been an excuse to bully and abuse kids since the tradition was born.
My brother and sister in law had their elf hide their (my s.i.l &brothers) pillows under their bed for the kids to find. The kids roared with laughter as they pulled the pillows out and my brother “scolded” the elf. It also hid in various places for them to find. My sister in law would throw my brother out if he pulled something like this “father” did.
On the last story, my family did something similar. We got my mom 4 bags of coal and she was a good sport about it. Then we showed her the new charcoal grill we got her to replace the one that didn't make the cross country move
Yours was actually a gift
Okay, the coal/grill thing was brilliant. THAT’S how you play a prank - something that has both sides laughing and doesn’t take away from things
Aww, but that’s genuinely adorable!
DAAAAAAAAW- I BET YOUR MOM WAS OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT ALL I'm glad you guys had a great laugh and Christmas that year ^w^
That’s how you do a prank! As a kid I remember getting headphones and was really confused cus I didn’t have anything to go with them (this was the 90s), but was gracious anyway because I figured “hey, I could plug these into the TV and play Mario without annoying others”, or the small radio I had in my room and how I could play music whilst reading. My aunt who gifted them was impressed with my thinking and then revealed the Walkman CD player gift to go with the headphones (portable CD player you could put in your pocket). I was over the moon and loved how her prank turned into me thinking of ways to use the gift before knowing I’d actually have a Walkman, I think she expected confusion and wasn’t quite expecting me to figure an actual use for them before the gift XD
My mom had a joke at Christmas where she gave out coal. They were chocolate wrapped in black foil. She'd give them to anyone as stocking stuffers and it was a good time. What that family did to OP was beyond cruel. Message received, they wanted OP to know loud and clear what they think. "It's easier this way" bullllllshit.
Definitely. Joke "coal" is cute and fun. What they were doing was straight up weird and toxic. Also...depending on where they are in the US (I'm assuming this is the US)......coal ain't always that easy to find, or that cheap. There is NO way that getting coal (and then wrapping it) would be easier/cheaper than just.....a generic Starbucks gift card.
My husband does joke coal "chocolates" in my kids and my sister's stockings. But we put other things in there as well. It's fun. Just getting coal for Christmas definitely is not. I agree, total bullshit.
@@kalimaxine unless you're giving it to a pyromaniac
@@RestingDogFace yeah I enjoy controlled fires so coal isn't a horrible gift for me
Yeah, my parents did this one year. It was fun.
The last story: It's not just the fact that they were all gag gifts. Getting COAL sends a very specific message. It's like getting 18 messages saying "We don't like you. You're a bad person." I feel so sorry for OP. They were bullied for the holiday.
I think OP should have just grabbed back the gifts they had got for everyone and returned them since they obviously weren't valued. It may destroy the relationship, but honestly, the relationship isn't even worth it if that is how they are going to act.
That dude is going to die single
She should just leave the whole relationship because her boyfriend actually got her coal too!! No other gift, just coal! Just like his family. This is some kind of sick hazing. And I agree, she should have snatched back those gifts and left, ALONE.
It's really sad when OP was so thoughtful about getting everyone a little something nice even if she didn't know them. It might have been funny if she hadn't brought gifts for the people she didn't know, and got embarrassed at first for not getting anything and seeing all the gifts, and then a bit of relief when it's all gag gifts anyway...
If I were OP I would have chucked a piece at the fiancée’s head and told them all off, take the gifts back and then left alone, and later would call off the engagement. One lump of coal is a gag, but 18 that’s an insult, and the fact that they sprung it on her with no warning whatsoever that’s completely unacceptable.
My wife's birthday is Dec. 24. Her parents always went to a great deal of trouble to keep her birthday and Christmas separate. While we dated and since we married, I and my family have done the same. Everyone, especially children, deserve to have a happy birthday, regardless of when it is.
Exactly. Having his birthday so close to christmas means it will be subsumed into Christmas celebrations if they don’t make a special effort to make it special. His unique circumstances necessitate that corrective adjustment and giving the same ‘correction’ to kids whose birthdays are already fully distinct would in fact be giving *them* special treatment.
My aunts birthday is on Dec. 24 too
A kid needs a little favoritism when your birthday gets overshadowed by the biggest holiday of the year for your whole life. That husband seems a little psychotic.
Also, for the last story, you know what makes a good gift when you don’t know someone very well? A FRICKIN’ GIFT CARD!!!!
Husband is an abuser, he shouldn't be around children.
yes favoritism on a birthday is nothing bad. I guess it would be reasonable to ask to move 1 celebration like opening christmas presents on the next day or celebrating the birthday on the next one. There are other ways than to traumatise your kids.
It sounds like they just have christmas themed bdays 🤦🏾♀️
Like Bruh thats not really favoritism
Like omg halloween baby gets a big halloween bash and is the pumpkin queen but everyone goes trick or treating...like not favoritism just making the best out of a situation
@@tschichpich I believe the kids birthday is Christmas Eve so they already open presents and stuff the next day. If I’m wrong- sorry. If not then there is no need for compromise. That “dad” is a monster imo. My heart really hurts for that kid 😔
@@affettatoprosciutto7139 possible. I'm opening on Christmas eve (from germany) maybe that's why i miss understood. That would make it even less understandable to me.
I hate this father now even more
1st story: Miles is genuinely awful, he's straight up bullying the kids
Not just that he is a phycopath enjoying abusing kids
He sure is. I hope OP leaves him.
@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Agreed, hope she runs for the hills (with kids in tow) as fast as humanly possible.
RSlash thinks that a drawing on a kid’s face with a Sharpie isn’t bad. We don’t know what was written or drawn and Sharpie ink lasts a lot longer than other marker ink. He wasn’t equally vicious but he’s definitely sadistic
I think Bob the Elf has one more prank to do, towards Miles. Maybe divorce papers, maybe destroying some of his property cos "honey, you were a bad boy, and anyway it's just a prank! Look, I'm laughing at you!"
I feel like fitting "my boobs are fake" into a first date conversation is kind of difficult
Definitely not something most people bring up. But I can also sympathize with the guy as well. Sometimes just knowing is enough to overpower everything else because it changes how you see something, ignorance is bliss and all. If his anti-kink is having fake breasts, then that's his thing to deal with. And from what it sounds like, things just couldn't work out between them now that he knows. It's certainly not her fault for getting them, nor should he blame her for not telling him on a first date. I would say that if they were well into a very long relationship and things played out like this, then both would be at fault for not sharing as I feel that it is something that should be brought up eventually, even if done simply by dropping it while telling a story, or by him asking about something that clearly is a concern for him.
I will say that it does sound like the guy has had some amount of "experience" in viewing obvious / "bad" plastic surgery to know he isn't into it to this extent. And if so, then that's not a good basis to make a judgment on, since they could have been acquired to help in their line of their work, where it is very much a category.
@@javelinjoe7034imo sure it might be a kink thing but it could be him wondering that if she “lied” or didn’t tell him about her body what else has she been keeping to herself. I may be stupid tho so
@@javelinjoe7034 I think that as long as it is not something that has been willingly kept hidden, then it's not her fault even if they have been in a long relationship.
If you really don't like something, you should be the one making sure that your criteria have been met.
How was she supposed to know that she had to share that info?
He is the one that should have expressed it as a concern, as you have mentioned.
(Ignoring the obvs fact that the dude sounds quite shitty by slutshaming and bodyshaming and insulting a whole group of people based purely on his own prejudices.
Right?? Imo it's no one's business EVER to know that surgery has been had. I just don't think you should have to disclose it but especially within the first 6 months? That's weird. That guy gives me bad vibes
Are guys up front about how long their members are? Spoiler: they aren't.
Dude... That dad is absolutely insane, I feel so bad for the kids. Divorce material for sure. Who cuts up their daughter's clothes while they're sleeping? Jfc that could be traumatizing if she woke up and couldn't recognize him immediately. No. No no no.
your tripping if you think that would be traumatizing
And divorsing a husband and father because he played harmless pranks on his kids like a dad should is insane,
@@jesusrodriguez4849 Cutting up a kid's clothes while they're wearing them (very very creepy and destruction of property) and destroying a kid's birthday cake for absolutely no reason (also destruction of property.) are not harmless pranks. Heck, even marking the kid's face with a sharpie isn't harmless, depending on how hard it was to get off (I've heard people mentioning using rubbing alcohol for it, but I can't imagine that being good for the skin).
@@jesusrodriguez4849 divorcing your husband for abusing your children is quite rational actually.
@@jesusrodriguez4849so cutting up a kids pj’s while their seeping in them and destroying a kids birthday cake cause he’s been good are harmless?
Last story: Right, she embarrassed her bf they say, because opening 18 gifts containing coal isn't at all weird, awkward and embarrassing? Wtf man
His family clearly doesn't care about her and what she went through.
Since she got coal and was declared naughty then I guess she can be naughty and leave with all the gifts she brought. Later losers!
@@lorilancaster5917 That's a great take on it :D
Fr like rSlash said, ONE gift of coal is a funny haha moment and a fun lil quirky tradition.
E V E R Y T H I N G being coal? That's just twisted and is obviously mocking the person...
Like even if you don't know the person you can get them the usual generic "idk you" gifts.
Socks, cookware, other bits and bobs. The usual stuff you give people you don't really know.
I would have took back my gifts
There's a common thing among some AITA posts where the boyfriend (usually) is essentially saying "Why aren't you playing along with the rules of the stupid thing we didn't tell you about?". I've seen it a few times now.
I had a teacher in highschool who was in a terrible car accident. She was a young woman, I think it was her first teaching job out of uni, and very beautiful by most standards. After the accident she required major reconstructive surgery. When she finally returned to work, after about a year or so, she looked completely different. Nobody had a mean thing to say about her because we all heard the news about what happened and why she looked different now. 10 years later (give or take) after I left school, I found myself talking to some young men who had finished more recently at a local games club. We got to talking about her, and their response was to kind of smirk and speak derogatorily of her, claiming she was vain and vapid because of her cosmetic surgery. Everybody was aware she'd had the surgery, but nobody was around to tell the story of how she came to have it.
And who's darn business is it anyway, why she had it??
@@molliannstocks2217 we all heard about the accident way before we knew she was having surgery. For a while it sounded like she may not even survive. The news about the surgery, having heard that some of her skull was crushed, wasn't met with more than, "of course, she'd need it."
I'm kind of angry about those kids who are judging her for it; you're right, it's none of their business whether it was reconstructive surgery or just because of the way she looked. The fact that they just jumped to those conclusions and dismissed this woman boils my blood.
That is awful, glad she is ok! If it is for medical reasons I totally agree with plastic surgery, however, people who just do it because they are insecure about an aspect of themselves I struggle with. First because it doesn't help people's body image in general. People will often find flaws about themselves and with to change them and once they actually do it, it becomes addictive and the just keep going back to change more and more about themselves. It can lead to eating disorders and other body image struggles because they are constantly unhappy about themselves. Not to mention the underlying impact of every time they get complements they feel constantly proved right like: "See, I was ugly before I got (x procedure) done!" which of course makes them hate the way their body was before even more. Of course, not every person goes down these routes but a lot do.
The second reason I dislike it is that they take their beautiful, unique selves and try to morph it to fit society's standards of beauty, which are both unrealistic and unhealthy both physically and mentally. It's a dangerous path to go own and in my opinion, if the person you are with wants you to change the way you dress, how you wear make up, or even pressure you into plastic surgery then they aren't worth it. Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way and we shouldn't feel pressured into changing ourselves or wearing a mask. You want someone who will be with you when you are old and wrinkly and no amount of plastic surgery can make you look good, that is the relationship I want. Let people be beautiful by themselves.
@@AW-wi1ep I agree, we should learn to love ourselves and be comfortable in our own skins. But people seem to delight in pointing out one another's perceived flaws as if we don't know what we look like.
I can somewhat imagine the relief it must be to finally be able to stop the name calling, jokes, and jeers after years of living with physical differences that shouldn't be any body's concern but our own.
@@AW-wi1ep Agreed, especially when major injuries could be permanently scarring. I technically had plastic surgery as a kindergartener - I missed jumping into my bed late one night, splitting the bridge of my nose and corner of my eye socket on the metal bed frame. A plastic surgeon was already on his way to the pediatric ER for another call and took on stitching up my face. My parents lost count when he was nowhere near done with my nose after 50 stitches. You'd hardly ever notice the scars nowadays, even though I can still feel the nick in the bone next to my eye. If it wasn't for him, I couldn't imagine what those scars would look like today, and I'm forever grateful for him.
Last Story: Let me get this straight...OP's fiancee invites her to his family's Christmas celebration, she ends up with 18 gifts of coal and leaves because of it, and HE'S the one who's embarrassed? DUDE, YOU GAVE HER NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS BUT EIGHTEEN BOXES OF COAL!! How could he NOT be the Butthole?
yeah I was thinking, okay the relatives didn't know her and they gave her coal but you are the boyfriend did you not at least get her a proper gift? You as the boyfriend also gave her coal? what?
story 1: my mom did elf on the shelf with us when we were little and she would never rip up my clothes or draw on me with permanent marker. the worst she ever did was have the elf go on “vacation” when my sister and i couldnt stop fighting. it’s a fun family tradition, not an excuse to bully your young children
Ngl I feel like the dad just made that up because he wanted to "prank" his kids
@LaCabraAsada makes me worried about how farther he would have gone if op didn't stop him.
The last story with the gifts of coal also feels like a power play, to put the new person in the "family"... "in her place" and set the hirarchy. And when they complained that she embarrassed him, when she was not ok with this, instead of apologizing, seems like classic gaslighting to me..
It seems like a shitty hazing tradition that you'd expect a college fraternity to pull. If this family has the same mentality as college humor, I think it would be best to avoid their family gatherings
As someone born near Christmas, I really sympathize with Andy. Kids with birthdays around Christmas frequently get shorted on birthday presents and celebrations.
Not to mention a lot of your friends are traveling with their families so they can't make your birthday. I had a friend in high school born right near Christmas. I was the only one that showed up around his birthday.
With the coal story- it’s worse because OP did the due diligence of getting a gift for the in laws. She did a kind thing and got rewarded with 18 lumps of coal because they couldn’t be bothered to return her kindness. If instead she’d been told not to bring a gift, or to bring coal herself, the gifts of coal wouldn’t have been as mean. She’d have been allowed in on the joke instead of having 18 lumps of coal
Oh goodness, this elf on a shelf punishing naughty kids just makes for a horror film. It's all I could think about through that story
Story 4: I think most people (understandably) mistake not liking plastic surgery for not liking bad plastic surgery. Because I think most can agree that the point of a good plastic surgery is to look or mimic natural. To not stand out as plastic surgery. So if people only notice the bad examples because they stand out, then they assume that all plastic surgery is that way.
There is another issue with plastic surgery. It can make beauty ideals even more unattainable unless people are very wealthy. The problem here is not with the girl who got plastic surgery but all the people who made her feel so insecure.
Beyond any of that, if someone doesn't like plastic surgery. And it is a turn off for them, no matter if it is good plastic surgery or botched. That's their right, just like it is anyone's right to get it.
it also seems that some people miss the line between surgeries that are reconstructive and those that are purely cosmetic because both fall under the category of plastic surgery.
I was tryna remember where I heard this argument setup before and I realized that basically rSlash made the same argument that toxic trans people would always make towards straight men. Basically saying they don't have to disclose that they're trans. If you find out they're trans and break up with them or if you don't date them cuz they are not biologically the gender they identify as then you're automatically a transphobic douchebag. Like, its a extremely unfair argument to make.
rSlash even used the same claim they always use which is, "You only THINK you're not attracted to it."
When I was a kid, I just thought the elf on the shelf was a messenger for Santa, not a bully who would tear up my clothes or ruin my birthday if I misbehaved.
In this case, the birthday kid didn't misbehave. His jerk step father just wanted to ruin his birthday because a) he's weirdly jealous that OP makes a big deal of it b) the kid didn't misbehave so "Bob" could punish him.
Because they DON'T do that. They're just supposed to tell Santa if you're naughty. I don't know where this dude came up with the prank idea, but it's so damn weird
And tearing up clothing that I'm wearing while I'm in my bed sleeping...
That's my understanding too. These "pranks" were rude and insenstive. I didn't notice until Rslash pointed out that he only did this to his stepkids and not his own biological kids, which makes it 10 times worse.
Also, something interesting about how the husband pranked the kids: Lucas (his son) only got sharpie faced, Clare (the daughter of both Miles and OP) got her favorite onesie DESTROYED, and Andy (OP’s son) had his birthday RUINED. So… who’s playing favorites here?
This past Christmas was my first time participating in the Elf on a Shelf tradition. You got the gist correct. It comes out of the box in December and gets moved all around the house each night and the kid(s) find it in various places each morning. Also, when first brought home, the kid(s) must give it a name. The key is that kid(s) are cautioned to never touch it or it loses its magic. There’s a ton of pics online of creative and funny things parents have done with their family’s elf. Having Bob eat a little bit of the cake could have been funny, but destroying the cake? Miles is a bully.
Yeah, catching Bob in the box with the cake, trying to sneak a bite, that would’ve been kind of funny
This mum in the first story is one of the first mums I’ve seen who didn’t belittle their kids birthday by marrying it up with Christmas if it’s around then.
Exactly my thought.
Huzzah! A parent of quality.
We do the same thing for my cousin. His birthday is Christmas Eve, we always sing happy birthday and eat the cake before giving the gifts, and he tends to always have the most gifts since it’s technically two holidays for him. Out of everyone I got gifts for, he got the most, which my dad being the runner up and he only got two gifts from me.
As a woman who was once a kid born on Christmas Day, I feel like op is doing a great job for her "kid of Christmas"
I love that he actually gets his own day, I’ve always felt like it’s disrespectful to not give a kid their one special day out of the entire year because it’s near a big holiday.
The last story - I’m one of those people who puts a lot of time, thought and energy into gift giving. I would have been humiliated by that family’s coal gifts. It would feel like a slap in the face on Christmas. Instead of embracing OP’s presence in their sons life, they chose to haze her. I don’t blame her for leaving. It’s a cruel joke to pull on someone who already feels like an outsider as is trying to get to know the family.
And the thing is: almost EVERYONE got pranked by this and they were ok!
@@molly-molly925 yeah... that's still hazing
@@molly-molly925 Yeah, because they all share the same sense of sick humor. They cruelly prank someone and, if they laugh it off, then they are welcomed by the family. It's ensuring only a certain type of person marries into the family. They are all a family of buttholes. OP was never going to be accepted because she's too different.
@@Shadowfate93 Yes, I mean, how didn't they realize how bad it is?
Maybe they got a heads up so they braced for it. Still a stupid tradition even if that is the case.
I would be beyond mortified if I got all coal. I remember how awkward I felt at my in-law's first Christmas just opening normal gifts, due to my social anxiety. So having that happen sounds like a nightmare. Even if it was just 5-7 gifts. 😩
The last story sounds like an actual nightmare. Its hard to say its a tradition, it sounds more like singling out a person to make them feel bad. Can't imagine how awkward she must've felt.
Right, OP turned down HER family Christmas with people who actually like her, can show her that with non "joke" gifts, and she turned that down for THIS BS. The parents must not want their kids to come to Christmas, because if they are putting ALL the SO through this, I'm sure their SO's want to avoid the parents at this time of year. This is a good reason for them to favor going to OP's family gathering over theirs in the future if they stay together.
I guarantee you that family says "you need thick skin to hang out with us"
He should have absolutely warned her what his family does, then had a super nice gift to compensate for what they were going to do if he couldn't talk them into at least giving her a random $10 gift card with the coal.
It sounds like a hazing ritual
@@annienunyabiz6627 Absolutely he should have, at the very least.
I wouldn't even invite anyone into that.
My birthday is also on Christmas Eve, and I need you guys to fully understand how easy it is for that to absolutely suck as a kid. I often would get one present from family members that would "count for both". My friends couldn't come to my birthday parties because of church, or they weren't in town, or they were just spending time with their family. It often made my birthday incredibly lonely, especially since my brother didn't have those issues (obviously this is not an issue now that I'm in my 20s). I love the tradition that the kid's biological dad started to help him feel special!
I feel your pain. I'm born on Dec 25th, and I share all of your experiences, except we didn't even have birthday parties because of Christmas. I think the bio dad was in the right for doing something special for the Christmas kid.
My son's BD was on Dec 30th and all my other children had spring, summer or fall birthdays. So we had him celebrate on his "half-birthday" so he could do an outdoor activity or something, so that we didn't have to celebrate right after Christmas. We still had a family party on the 30th, but it made it a lot better.
I don't get why more families don't just set an official unbirthday date for their christmas born kids. Why ruin one or the other holiday when you can have both? It's not fair to skip a kid's birthday just because other holidays exist.
my bday is the 26th. ever since I grew out of being gifted toys, its been hard. my friends are always out of town and everyone's holiday joy and spirit is over and they're tired. the past few bdays I've tried to k/ms and I always get the most depressed around this time of year. I am going to try to celebrate my birthday on a different day next year to see if that helps my mood
@@noelpans Genuinely try having an unbirthday, there's even a song you can use called The Unbirthday Song from Alice in Wonderland (disney 1951) The best part of an unbirthday - birthday party is that you can pick whatever day you like to celebrate every year. So you can specifically pick a day where all your friends are available and yout get to celebrate both the holidays AND your birthday.
Regardless, I hope you have a very happy birthday no matter what day it's celebrated on because the fact you were born out of all the odds in the world should be appreciated for the miracle it is!
For Story 1: my family has an Elf on the Shelf, and how OP’s husband had Bob act was so wrong. The elf never punishes children for naughty behavior. They leave at night to report to Santa if the kids are behaving. They return home before the kid wakes up, which is why they move to different spots. With my family, my cousins love waking up and figuring out where the elves moved to. And the elves have some fun at night when they’ve got free time, so they’ll roast marshmallows over the fireplace, or hide in the tree, or draw pictures for the kids. Little things that’s fun for the kids to discover in the morning.
OP’s husband was insanely cruel to all the kids, but especially OP’s kids, for how he treated this. The cake was terrible. There’s no excuse for that behavior. And so was cutting up the onesie, especially for the daughter. If the kids learned the “lore” then they know that the elves can’t be touched or they lose their magic. It’s devastating for a child to realize they probably hurt the elf. My cousin knocked over a bookcase once and accidentally touched an elf, and she still remembers it years later. This whole story was so f**ked up!
First story: what kind of Grinch seriously thinks that destroying someone else’s property, a CHILD’S property, counts as an acceptable prank!? at CHRISTMASTIME!? That’s not a jokester- that’s a bully who’s picked out his favorite victims and it’s clearly her kids, not his.
All the Grinch did was steal, not destroy.
This man made him look like a saint
@@silverflight01 I also question the other parents at the party who thought it was funny
Grinch just stole things, but he never drew on someone's face with a sharpie, cut up someone's onesie, and RUINING SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY CAKE.
@@dracko158 cut up someone's onesie while she was wearing it*
Source: op edited the base post to answer questions
@@lorilancaster5917 Thank god I found another person who mentions those jerks. They watch the birthday of their children's friend get ruined and just LAUGH?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM?! This seriously makes me question how they treat their own kids. Miles and those parents are literal psychopaths
*[Cheerful elf voice]* _"The child has not cleaned his room!! The child has been designated as 'naughty'!! Pigs blood! Shower the child with pigs blood!!"_
"They're ALL gonna LAUGH at you! They're gonna see your dirtypillows! They're ALL gonna LAUGH at you!"
Carrie is that you?
@@BronzeDragon133 “We’re all very sorry Cassie…”
I would legitimately watch that movie. It sounds delightfully deranged
Last story: him not warning his girlfriend is absolutely horrible.
Having a birthday close to Christmas can make the two celebrations run together, so making the Christmas Baby feel special is actually good, because otherwise it can feel like his birthday is only an afterthought.
Like he's only getting half a birthday.
Yeah, and quite a lot of kids don't get a proper birthday celebration, and even gifts, due to it being on christmas or close around christmas. Which is really sad. It's not like they chose to be born around that time.
My birthday is on the 13th of December, and even that was too close. Sometimes I just didn't get a birthday present at all because it was too close to Christmas.
@@Stefisgarden I really feel for you. That's just mean and unfair. I have a friend whose birthday is just a few days after and her family makes the effort to seperate the two occassions.
I truly hope your birthdays nowadays are better and a thing of their own.
This is why half-birthdays are a thing: celebrating the birthday at a six-month offset instead of on Christmas.
Some of us are born on Christmas Day and have never gotten actual birthday. I had one birthday party when I was 11 years old because I asked for a 1/2 birthday. As an adult, my inlaws and my husband do a very large amount of leg work to ensure I feel special on the day. I.e. Christmas dessert is birthday cake, my favorite kind too. But yes, only getting gifts and acknowledgment one day a year on A-day when everyone else also gets gifts to acknowledgment is super frustrating when you're a kid
For the elf on a shelf story: my family does it and some things are pretty funny and once in a while one of us will wake up to a sharpied face (from the siblings instead) but has our parents ever ruined our clothes for some "prank"? nope, that is just a bad dad
And to take a 5 year old's FAVORITE pajamas? wtf? OP married a psycho
When I was 10 my dad joked that I was gonna get coal for Christmas. I didn't think he was serious because I was being good. Well Christmas morning came and I only had a tin with coal chips in it in my stocking. I cried and cried. My mom had backup gifts in the cabinet but it was still traumatizing. I feel like as an adult getting that from my future in-laws would be even worse.
First story - there is a lot of people who were born on Christmas Day and suffered because theirs birthday was forgotten or just less important. OP is doing well by making Andy feel special. If husband thinks they should treat all chidren equally - does that mean other kids shouldn't have birthday too?
man, I'm luckier as I was born on Halloween, I get to party twice that night.
Exactly, that is my friend. He is born on Christmas and he is called Noel Nicholas. Everyone always forgets his birthday so I made a point of making a special birthday for him at mine on boxing day with three gifts and every year his parents call me to say how selfish I am as he misses their boxing day brunch to come to my house. I actually blocked them but they end up calling me on one of the relatives who are staying with them.
@@zsazsasays1573 Wow. Keep being a good friend and keep that block button ready, you're probably helping make up for YEARS of sadness from forgotten birthdays. Those parents suck
My daughter was born about a week before and I always try to make a big deal about it since my stepdad is born in early December but mentioned once that because it was so close to Christmas his parents didn’t do much for his birthday, unlike his siblings. And other people I’ve known say similar things. They get a few small gifts while their siblings get a bunch of stuff and their parents say, you just got a bunch of gifts for Christmas.
I’m not sorry about this, but my kid’s birthday is 1000 times more important than Christmas will ever be. I don’t get her many gifts for her birthday because she’s still having birthday parties and gets gifts from other kids. As she gets older I’ll get her more, and I’ll do the same for her summer time brother
@@Nevertoleave I was born a week before Christmas too, and I gotta say, I love what you’re doing! Please keep it up! I’m in my 30s now and I found that one of the hardest times of having my birthday a week before was actually once I was in college, because my family wasn’t always around to celebrate, and my friends would rarely be in town because they would have gone back home to their families for Christmas. At least when I was a kid, the other kids were usually physically there. Ever since, I’ve basically done things on my own, with my partner, or with my parents on my birthday (depending on life circumstances), without even trying to plan things with other people; that way I don’t feel let down and still have a great day. I’ve also made it clear to friends that I will not be purchasing two separate gifts for their birthday and Christmas if they won’t do the same for me, because I’ve been burned way too many times (like, I spend $60 on gifts for them over the two holidays and they get me like one $15 gift and call it even - I’m sure that sounds dumb, and I understand people are already having to spend money on Christmas presents for loved ones so don’t want to have the extra birthday present expenses, but you can only get a single bag of 3 $1 tea lights and have it called a double present so many times). So keep up the effort as your child gets older and keep being an awesome parent!
Ps - one of my favorite bday parties as a kid was when we held my party on June 18th so that I could have a pool party when I turned 13. It felt really special to have the day only be about my birthday.
The elf on the shelf story would have been funny had the dad pulled out a 2nd untouched cake and said 'hey kiddo I had a feeling Bob would do this so I hid the real cake away'.
Simple as that
Yeah, no. You're forgetting "the elf" has been terrorizing the other kids as well.
@@jariccacierra8445 apparently not the father's son. He didn't do it as bad as the other children
Yeah, that husband clearly just used Bob as an excuse to ruin a tradition he resents. The husband is a major asshole and OP should insist he get come counseling to deal with his shit.
@@jariccacierra8445 Except the husband didn't even have the fig leaf excuse that the birthday boy was 'bad', right? He just ruined the kid's birthday (and the party for every kid in attendance) because Miles is a jackass.
That's still humiliation and terrorizing. "I undid the (physical) damage of the act that hurt you did" doesn't stop the emotional hurt.
How the boyfriend should’ve handled the situation in the last story:
Hey my family has tradition of giving coal to new comers on their first Christmas. Just play along. I will give you your actual Christmas present later in the day.
First Story, NTA: Is OP married to a grown man or a man child? "Keep the magic" he is the one who touched Bob in the first place? Also, these "pranks" aren’t pranks, this is straight up abuse to me. A kid doesn’t do chores, he destroys a onesie? Also, the fact this man moved Bob and put him there all because Andy not once misbehaved is alarming. OP's husband is a major red flag bro. I didn’t even think of it like that; rSlash is right. His kid got the least bad punshment and OP's kid got the worst one. So not only is this guy a walking red flag, he is a hypocrite
Second Story, NTA: Wait, what? How is OP responsible for this? These are grown ass adults. They can get there on time themselves
Third Story, YTA: What?! I’m with OP's mom on this one. Why is Luke upset with this? I thought the invitation with both names on their was to show that they are one as a couple. Luke is weird bro, he really try a petty power play for what?
Fourth Story, NTA: I didn’t finish the story yet but I want to say something first. Max don’t speak for all of us, he only speaks for himself when he said "how men prefer natural over two balloons" and the other sexist thing he said. He is weird bro. First off, that is personal information and second he is just a misogynist
Fifth Story, NTA: What kind of messed up tradition is this? OP embarassed him??? No, they embarassed OP. OP's fiancé should’ve warned OP about this so she could’ve avoided this horrible "tradition". Does OP want to be married into this family?
What about it? lol
???
@@wolfsbane9639I edited the comment
No, no. The onesie one was she just touched the damn elf
@@Ghostcyborg71 facts, even then rSlash made a point
I probably would have grabbed ‘Bob’ and thrown him out of the house with a, “time for Bob to get out. He’s a naughty elf and isn’t welcome in this home anymore if he’s going to be so mean.”
Yeah. I would have just took a picture of Bob sleeping on the couch and sent it to the husband so he gets the message.
Rslash should combine his two methods of saying AITA and start saying, "Am I the wrong hole?"
Yes
"Am I in the wrong hole?"
Story 3: In my opinion, "support your spouse" means you are a unit that receives invitations together, and Luke is being the bum by saying that he doesn't his name as an extension. I got news for you Luke, if your nieces and nephews are anything like me, they may only remember your name by first recalling your wife's name. If may go the other way where your wife's name is recalled by first recalling yours. But it all the same, you've been a unit together since "I do."
Story 4: If it is a tradition, OP needs a heads up and also 18 is too much. They could have done the same thing OP did and gift chocolate, and stick to tradition make it in the shape of coal.
Who ever heard of sending TWO invitations to a couple that cohabitates, married or not? Luke is just being a jerk and causing drama.
I mean, that’s better, but still. 18 of the EXSCT SAME GIFT is too much. It doesn’t matter what it is, if you open 18 of the exact same thing, unless it’s cash, it’ll ultimately feel just like getting 18 lumps of actual coal.
the coal story was number 5
The wedding story is one of those that really makes me wonder how some people make it in life. Like, the parents have to have jobs, they raised children, have their own house, etc. so..are they always late to events such as a wedding? I’m going to need more of a backstory to understand how 2 grown adults can’t make it to their child’s wedding by 2 pm.
I would imagine they actually manage just fine to be on time for things that are important to/have consequences for *them*. My extended family was like this and it is 100% voluntary. "Oh we have to be somewhere by 3 pm for Thanksgiving? Well, I want to stop at somebody else's house on the way there...guess they'll just have to wait for us. They'll understand." Only way to nip it in the bud is...to just start stuff without them and let them know you mean business. I can get why OP's sister didn't want her wedding day to be that battleground, but that's what happens when you let that behavior slide for YEARS.
I remember a chronically late family in a comic strip where, no matter what they tried, they were ALWAYS late. But at least they DID try.
They should have received custom invitations stating the start time was 1pm! There problem solved!!!
@@OldsmobileCutlass1969Va I think there was a Reddit post where someone actually did that. The recipient had the nerve to be offended. 🙄
Man, I laughed SO HARD at the Midsommar reference. Kudos @rSlash!
The other parents that were laughing break my heart for the kid… but what op needs is a divorce because her kids cut her out of their lives for her husbands doing (and was he literally mad because his kid didn’t misbehave)
Also what his bio father did is amazing. I have December birthday and always hated it because no one remembers because of Christmas but making that kid feel special because he was born so close to Christmas is amazing.
Our elf does harmless pranks like cutting snowflake patterns into the toilet paper or leaving poppers in the doorway. Not this traumatic crazy stuff.
Mom: let's do the Christmas kid tradition and pretend to be Santa.
Dad: Hmmmm.... Not evil enough.
First story: OP could do some revenge by roping the father all over and throwing him in the closet, and placing Bob before him - he has been a naughty boy after all.
P.S. I despise TH-cam and his censorship laws. Susan, you get 6/5 Buttholes.
That’s evil 👿 I love it!
Or if you go by the not always right scale, a perfect 5/7
If I remember correctly, the first story is 100 times worse because, on top of the kid doing absolutely nothing wrong except not get pranked, the daughter was WEARING the clothes when her dad cut them up.
Like she was sleeping and he cut them up? Wtf
@slytherindork8459 Yes, OP updated the post clarifying Claire was, in fact, wearing the onesie when it was cut up. Apparently he got the idea from TikTok.
@@AMASTA5 That’s so dumb, just the whole concept of using the elf to punish children, that makes zero sense
Last one, about Coal as a Christmas gift: Pull a 'reverse uno', and loudly exclaim on getting the last lump "Wow! Now I can forge that throwing knife set that I always wanted! Thanks!".
Weddings should start on time. Let the person that comes late miss out.
Story 2: Screw them, you didn't agree to be the babysitter for these two adults who should have known better. Also ask your sister when did she assign that to you, if her sentence starts off with I assumed, or you should, then immediately interrupt her and say well that's your fault. They're adults it's not your responsibility. But I know why everyone's blaming you, they spent so long being manager parents that they don't want to anymore so they're mad at you because it's easier, and your parents are jumping on the bandwagon because that mean they avoid any responsibility for their own negligence. Tell your family that you're not a scapegoat and tell her parents that maybe if they were less inconsiderate of other people time they would make it to events.
Considering this one story from OP, I think we can all get the idea of why they didn't want to stay with their parents in the first place. I can't imagine their lack of time management is the one thing they come up short on.
They sound like they would get along with the parents of that one OP that gave them the wrong time on their wedding invitation to trick them into being on time for the wedding
@@mostar1219 I'm offended that he said its a Latin thing
So yes Rslash, I had an elf on the shelf when I was a kid. He also had a reindeer. Most of my friends had the same setup as well. There's lore to it, the idea is that Santa sends his smallest elves and tiniest reindeer to keep an eye on kids while also basically hyping them for Christmas by doing random ultimately harmless pranks when no one is around. For example, I remember my elf and deer doing things like eating a bunch of cookies of a plate overnight, or making their way into the garage, flying around and getting stuck on the door safety pull cord thing. Or getting into some cake icing, pushing over small decorations so they have somewhere to sit. That sort of thing. My friend's dad once set up the elf and deer tied to the ceiling fan, like they flew around swinging a rope and it got caught on the spinning blade. It's meant to be harmless fun that you look back on fondly and go "wow, that little elf got into all kinds of trouble". Not whatever that guy did. It's supposed to make you type out long-winded comments like this because the happy memories come back and give you a chuckle when you hear about the elves again. It's not supposed to be bullying your own kids, that's pretty fucked
Story 5: I don't think this family understands the point of coal in Christmas. Coal is given to naughty people that doesn't deserve good gifts.
When you're given a pile of gifts and all of them turn out to be coal, that tends to give negative implications, like the family doesn't actually love you and wants to humiliate you.
Screw that tradition. Let it burn
One or two coals is funny, but 18 is just a middle finger under wraps
I'm willing to bet they understand the implications.
A funny Christmas prank is wrapping something small 3 or 4 extra times and putting them in extra boxes. This is just cruel.
I got coal once
However, it was only one gift from my uncle and auntie, they did give me two gifts, the other one had a board game (I didn't know at the time that it was from them)
I ended up giving coal back to them because they had a fireplace and I wanted to give it to them in case they might need it someday
All I can say is good the family feels awkward.
Imagine being a little kid and your parents bring this elf in your house, and at first everything is super cool and funny, but then the elf starts doing really, really mean things, like eating your freaking birthday cake...
Yeah, I'd be scared af.
That's horror movie material
It's Chuckie disguised as an elf.
2:04
It's in the update, but OP forgot to mention that Claire was using the onesie when the husband cut the holes. Meaning that the husband cut the holes in the onesie when Claire was wearing/sleeping in the onesie. And he got the idea from TikTok.
Dude, he could have cut her. Why the hell did he cut clothes while they were being worn?
This episode started with "is just a prank bro" and ended with "is just a family tradition bro"
Story 5 he didn't even bother to inform her of this tradition until after she got upset, he was just content to get her hopes up and watch her crash wtf
As a person who did Elf on the Shelf as a kid. The elf is not ment to be cruel. The point of them being there is to watch the kids behavior and report back to Santa. And move places the next day to have the children find them. Sometimes they play prankes but its allways something small like being near the cookie jar with a cookie that has a bight taken out of it.
Story 1: I get sociopathic vibes from this man. Like, cutting up a little girl's clothing and wrecking a cake? That is not a prank!
And yeah, Elf on the Shelf is supposed to be that the Elf is in a different place every morning, not whatever the husband was doing
Could be 100% wrong, but I read somewhere, on a different channel, that the girl was wearing the onesie when it got cut up. If that’s true, the story is infinitely worse than we thought.
@@gaxalee7392 correct, she was wearing it. So just think about looming over a sleeping toddler with scissors, cutting up clothes on her body… that’s messed up.
Yeah, OP needs to insist that guy gets some sort of psych eval and some counseling
Elf on the shelf, to my knowledge works as a messenger to Santa, he watches over kids during the day, then at night he goes to Santa to report what kid's in that house are good or bad. That's why he's always in a different spot in the morning
My family does Elf on a Shelf.
Hearing that first story hurt me on a very personal level, emotionally, and OP has every right to be absolutely furious at Miles for being such a monster to her children.
"Idk if this is divorce material, tbh..." - All due respect, Dabney, psychologically abusing children, let alone children that are a part of your own family is 100% divorce material and beyond. Not gonna lie, if I had children and my husband dared to do this to my children if they had a birthday on Christmas - I probably would have gotten physical given how much Elf on the Shelf meant to my little brother growing up and such. (Who the fuck does that to their own children?!)
Miles is not a human being - he's a monster that doesn't deserve a family. Because clearly he has no qualms over tormenting his own flesh and blood for his own amusement at their expense.
14:00 Guilty. I really dislike it when people do plastic surgery. BUT not when it's to try and look more normal like removing scars or fixing broken noses. I dislike the ones where people think they look ugly and do it to "look better" yet they look super fake after. Like: Rodrigo Alves, Jocelyn Wildenstein (2015) or Natasha Crown.
For the last story, I honestly won't be surprised if OP ends the relationship over this because what his family did is very cruel and no matter what tradition it belongs to, one coal is a funny gag gift but 18???!!!?! OP you deserve an apology and REAL gifts from his family. If your bf makes this a hill to die on, dump him. His family is toxic.
Fourth story: there is actually an online store that makes marshmallow treats that look like coal. The family should just switch to that, then everyone would he happy. They could still have their tradition and the newcomer would get a bunch of sweets
There’s chocolate wrapped in foil that looks like coal, cinnamon flavored hard candy that looks like coal, nut candy that looks like coal…
I don't know about other households, but this is the way elf on the shelf worked in my mom's household. The elf, named by the kids, is basically just a spy for Santa. He moves around during the night and he make sure that the kids are being good. If they are bad he reports back to Santa. There is no punishment from Bob for being bad. I personally hated elf on a shelf and never did that with my daughter. I felt it was too big brother to do.
7:53 if my mom told me it was my responsibility to make sure she wasn't late somewhere then she'd need to find a different ride because I will walk out then and there. You are never ever responsible for your parents unless it's a responsibility you willingly and knowingly took on. Let my family talk to me like this even once, they'll never find me again.
Also wtf did the parents think was happening when OP was getting ready and leaving for the church? They live 30 minutes away and they were 35 minutes late? They didn't leave until AFTER the event was scheduled to start! I also love that the parents didn't even say, hey OP what time are you gonna start getting ready for the wedding? What time are you planning to leave? Clearly neither of them can be bothered to manage time. For something so important, I can't believe neither of them thought to set some timers to prompt them. ANYTHING.
@@fdm2155 Right? Like, this is their daughter's wedding and they felt no sense of urgency for the day? Sheesh!
bruh you're so consistent that I've began to use you as a time gage
Same tho! “Ooh! A new RSlash video! Time for me to clock out.”
Where I’m at I always get an rslash video at 6:00 so I can always have it when I wake up!
Except one time where he forgot to hit submit and it didn't get uploaded for several hours and everyone was freaking out lol
My 1st grade class room used to have an elf on a shelf and she/he didn't do anything that would hurt a kids feeling, elf on the shelf would wright notes, move around and sometimes hide in something (stuff animals and the Christmas tree) only. She/he wouldn't write something like "Bethany(fake name) is fat" the only note it wrote and the only one that I can remember was "I'm leaving soon"
For the final story I feel like they could have given OP chocolate. I don't know about the rest of the planet, but here in the USA we have a candy that is a Crunch bar in the shape of coal lumps. Than it would not only stay a tradition, but it would remain a sweet tradition.
I feel like there's another layer to the coal story... after all: lumps of coal are only given to naughty children who don't deserve presents by having been bad during the rest of the year... so basically that family implies in a roundabout way that everyone who hasn't been a member of the family up until that point must be a horrible person? That's not only humiliating, I think that's a roundabout way of character assassination.
If they had given her ONE piece of coal, that would have been funny. 18? Nah. That's insulting and humiliating.
We have actual candies fashioned specifically to look like coal. I got my mother that one year
@@kbowman772 Maybe they're the same thing?
@@fdm2155 Yes, I agree. In fact, I wouldn't have stood for it myself, but her partners family could have & should have either asked him or gotten her something everyone likes suchlike chocolate. For example, I have a young cousin and she loves horses. I noticed on Thanksgiving that she had a white plastic horse. So I got a hold of my older cousin, aka her mother, on FB and asked about it. She told me that her daughter loves horses. This made me ecstatic because days before I had found a ride-able talking horse. It was soft and the battery box was easily accessible with it being in the neck. As soon as my young cousin saw it she exclaimed in excitement and hugged me. It made my day because I was kinda concerned she may not like it as much as I hoped, but she also hugged me. That surprised me since she is normally quite shy towards me.
Story 1 is just using Elf on the Shelf as a cover for abusing the kids. That's messed up
I'm born with a left lip so when I was hearing this I tear up a little, I thought about getting plastic surgery even as a kid because people look at you differently and got bullied to the point where I didn't wanna live, didn't wanna look in the mirror, but I kinda love my left lip even if it reminds me of the bad memories I wouldn't want to change it because it's my flaw and grow to love it
First story: as a person who's done elf on the shelf for going on 14 years for my little sibling, i can say that what is described in the story is 100% *not* something that should be happening.
Yeah the elf gets into mischief if you want them too, but that's like... Making a small snowman indoors in the sink, or taking peoples clean undergarments and hanging them off the chandler with a cheeky I see London I see France vibe.
What the father did in that story was straight up horrific.
I can stretch the cheekiness to *maybe* the marker on the face, but even that's a little too far. Cutting up clothes and ruining a birthday?? That's straight up disgusting behavior and not in the spirit of the elf at *all*.
The poor kids
From "Am I the butthole" to "Am I the A" now to "Am I wrong"
Respect your grind Dabney
As for the 4th story, I myself do prefer natural, but if one feels that they need a cosmetic surgery they 100% have my support
I REALLY don't like the latest version.
because being an asshole has a completely different vibe than being wrong.
why not AITA, just the abbreviation?
@rSlash
I know why you're changing it, but it's just weird. just say the letters. there's no way youtube will demonetize your vids in that way and it stays true to the OG name.
Here is the issue i fee is being overlooked. Op built a relationship off of decit. Yes it is not a big “omg” moment like in many other stories, but, it is still deceitful. And that is why he reacted the way he did. However, to chastise him for that is just….well dumb and ignorant and bias as heck
@@Retro_Rainer new yt demonitization rules doesn’t let you say any bad words in the first few seconds 😔
@@Retro_Rainer like 80 seconds
@@fried_fries I know that. that's why I said to just use the abbreviation. AITA is not a curse word or anything.
I vividly remember being young and having nightmares about how some of my stuffed animals that I didn't entirely like would come to life and do things like grab and pull on my arms, or just overall scare me. Using an elf on the shelf that way is exactly how you fuel that fear
Story 1: op should play a prank on her husband, divorce him and take full custody of the kids
That family's Christmas "tradition" and my boyfriend not warning me would have hurt me more than being cheated on. If only he had apologized after maybe the relationship could have been saved...
You're saying not receiving expensive gifts on Christmas is worse than infidelity?? You might need to re-evaluate your priorities 😬
@@DrakeNAllen I don't give a flip about gifts ☺️ it's about the anticipation and everyone being in on the joke and that joke is you, in the end. The humiliation is worse for me, cause the partner has nothing to gain from it. If he cheats, it is because he can't control himself, or is selfish and not because he wants to intentionally hurt me, it is not about me.
As someone who's been cheated on, can't say I share your pov
@@mariposa9506 to each it's own, of course. I might be in a minority on this, I know. I just wanted to point out that people to whom humiliation is worse than cheating also exist ☺️
@@carodajka13 sure. Cheating is also humiliating though. Has it ever happened to you?
I wonder what dabneys wife thought the first time she hears him arguing with himself while making goofy voices in his office 😂😂😂
My dad also used the Elf of the shelf thing to terrorize my sister and I. He threw our underwear outside and we only noticed it when the bus picked us up (we were 5 and 8), destroyed the house (tp everywhere, silly string up and down the stairs, smudges on windows and picture frames) and we had to clean it up, and ripped apart our toys. We only had it for a week before my mom threw it away.
I do hope you meant your dad when you mentioned your mom throwing "it" away? How can any parent behave like this towards their children...?
@@MLWJ1993 technically she did that too
For the fifth story, when OP and her fiancé go back to OP's family, they should all give the fiancé coal and no other gifts.
I would say not cool just because that's his tradition, something less useful would be helpful in this department. Like literal gifts of nothing. "We don't really know you, so you bring nothing to our lives, so that's what we brought you to this event"
@@kp2223 Oh, let they open up the box, and there is nothing in it? Genuis!
Can I just note that the whole "kid of Chrismas" part OP of the first story was super sweet? Like, I've heard so many stories of people having bdays so close to holidays having bad times. That's such a good idea to make sure the kid feels special on his birthday AND on Christmas!
And this is probably gonna be one of the reasons why your kids won't talk to YOU SPECIFICALLY in the future.
"We don't understand. There's absolutely no reason for them to cut us off. We just have some [disagreement] last week and they said that will never meet us ever again."
Gee I wonder why the missing reason keep missing
What is wrong with the husband in the first story? That wasn't something for the kids, that was something for the husband to attack the kids. I can see why he his last wife left him and I feel bad for his son.
Edit: Checked and there's been an update. Mainly that OP booted Miles out of the house, all the kids are sticking by Andy after what happened, mamaged to salvage Christmas for Andy, then she took them all to spend NYE with her parents. Turns out Miles took it off *Tik-Tok* because of course that's how parenting works. They didn't comment anything else besides the update
F!!!!!! That edit is messed up!! XooX
Why am I not surprised? Next, Miles is going to get parenting advice from The Ace Family and the other shitty family vloggers on TH-cam
As soon as she mentioned “Elf on the Shelf”, I knew things were going to be bad. Whoever decided to start that “””tradition””” needs to pay dearly for all the trust issues all the children who have experienced it have gotten. Gaslighting is NOT a fun Christmas activity!
Story 1: To make it clear he cut up his daughter's favorite pajamas while she was wearing them so she woke up to 'Bob' having destroyed her clothes. This man is using the elf on the shelf to 'prank' aka abuse the children. The birthday boy did nothing wrong but he just had to get him. There was an update to this story, OP managed to help her little boy regain the magic of being a Christmas child, and if I recall correctly she's leaving his ass for what he did to the kids.
I agree so much with your comment. My stepmom was the same but it started out Subtle, though unlike this guy who just outright started doing shit Towards them in the name of Bob.
That first story. Oh my God I’m in I’m a teacher that is the perfect example of why I am against elf on the shelf so often do I see parents use it as an excuse to basically bully their children. Like not every parent does it like this, but it’s way more common that should be and then maybe that’s a sign that we should get rid of them.
The worst thing an elf on the shelf has done in my experience was tp’d the fridge, but my dad picked it up and scolded the elf.
That's harmless, unlike the cake ruining story. Yours is cute and cheeky since nobody's feelings were hurt.
@@beccas.7762 I just hope that fathers gets what he deserves that wasn’t okay.
Years later in story 1: "Why wont my kids talk to me anymore?"
Or why am I in jail for setting my ex’s car on fire it was just a prank
My bf and I did elf on the shelf with a little snowman and it was so fun trying to find increasingly chaotic or intricate setups to make eachother laugh. This snowman made us dinner, played our xbox, spied in our bathroom, slept in our bed, and passed out in the recliner :P it was super wholesome and silly for us, that dad is so cruel with zero motive
Elf on the shelf is basically there's an elf that moves throughout the house every night until Christmas and if the kids does something bad the efi reports it to Santa
Story 1: obviously Miles is in the wrong here, but I can’t believe those other parents laughed at the ruined cake!
If that happened at a party I attended, I'd have to get that child a cake. I wouldn't even ask. That child would have a cake. The only way this would have been funny is if it was not the real cake, and they immediately brought out the actual cake.
Not only was the whole family delusional for having the expectations that Op make sure grown adults get to their daughter's wedding on time, some of the comments were calling Op the AH. It's their daughter's wedding. If they can't put in the extra effort to make sure they arrive on time, that's literally their problem and not Op's.
I bet those people giving OP the YTA messages are the family members themselves.
So wild to me that the OP in the story about the late parents is being considered TA by the family, and not the people who couldn’t be bothered to get there on time.
Like, seriously, your own child’s wedding is so unimportant to you that you needed to be reminded to get ready and go?
I am perpetually late because of a bad combination of time blindness and consistently underestimating how long things take. But that’s MY problem, MY consequences, my responsibility. It’s no one else’s job to get me out the door on time except my own, and when I’m late it’s no one’s fault but my own.
“Am I Wrong” literally had me laughing so hard and idk why
TH-cam ain't touching normal grass, that's why
MOM COME PICK ME UP I'M SCARED
They get a wrong score on the wrong scale now. It’s slightly inner wing but TH-cam’s an asshole.
@@Anonymous_Individual its super insulting too. like they have a space for kids to go on, why do we adults have to have our space regulated like that? i'm an adult, i want to hear adult fucking swear! youtube is being so insulting like this!