Dating Red Flags | JUST B DIVORCE
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ค. 2024
- I knew there was trouble in paradise when I got engaged... if you don't know it's right... it's WRONG. Point blank. Diving more into my personal story and sharing some hard truths in an effort to help educate others on how to avoid the big D... Divorce.
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Bethenny Frankel is the CEO & Founder of Skinnygirl Brand, a Best-Selling Author, Podcast Host, Television Host, founder of Bstrong, and the TikTok anti-influencer of Beauty.
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Dating today is a total nightmare. I am so much happier alone in peace.
Amen to that!!
Let's even put dating to the side. You can't find someone with less than five of the traits for Narcissism even if you are looking for a real friend!!! You might as well be alone if you are sitting with someone who is only capable of monologues.
I've been with my husband for 20 years but if I were to find myself single again, there's no way in hell I would date. My mom dated after my dad died and she said it was a nightmare. She's now married to God and prefers it that way. People are psychotic nowadays. Dating is dangerous for women too.
Couldn’t agree with you more
Same
I remember watching Bethenny getting married , and you can tell your inner voice is telling you No. I’m trying to listen to that inner voice more as I get older. It’s really powerful.
True!
Oh totally.
Yep me too but boy I was rooting for them 😢
I remember and he looked like a total douche. Many of us have been there, others see it but you don't.
fewer
“If you do not know that it’s right it’s wrong”. When I was in a bad relationship I couldn’t put my finger on it in the beginning but it felt off. This is such an important message for someone to hear. Thank you for sharing this.
Yes! Loved that too, such a good point.
Thanks for watching!
Single, never been married woman in my 20's listening to this series because it's oddly soothing.
Learn from this video. Please never get married in your 20s
@@ann5765 B is technically talking about the tumultuous divorce that happened in her 30’s to 40’s, but I get what you’re saying.
The growth you have between your 20's and 30's is profound. Take your time and don't rush even if it feels absolutely right. So much change will happen with your personal growth during this time of your life.
Single, in my thirties, never been married. The older I get, the more thankful I am that I never did this to myself! Lol
Enjoy ur 20s girl I had no video getting married at 25!! It goes so fast I’m 39 yo mom and starting over so take ur time!! ❤❤
Less problems and hassles living alone. You can go wherever ,whenever. I doubt I will want another man in my life .
Yeah My picker is broken! I think I'll stop now. It's so much more peaceful and consistent.
But when people ant kids and a family it’s not so easy to just opt out
Amen 🙏
She's incredibly articulate and her daughter is very blessed to have a mom that turns hardships into helping her (which is really what's at Bethenny's core) and others. We need to teach what red flags look like and how to turn away from them (and not look back). Looking back on my life, I didn't recognize that those were red flags. And, if my soul was telling me something wasn't quite right at the time. I didn't feel it was enough to warrant walking away from a relationship. Yup, it does and it's OK.
Did Bethenny and Paul breakup? I think that’s what Heather claimed over on juicy scoop.
Men who are all about the money make for a long divorce.
Or both money and bc they r primarily coercive controlling abusers . Narcs , power , cruelty just bc they can and bc the legal loopholes allow and enable them to push the envelope & drag out an abusive situation to the limit .
The moral of the story ... don't let a "charming" dude use the pressure of your (decreasing) baby birthin' years, as a means to knock you up.
It's way more than this. It's red flags.
It's also HELLUVA creepy.
@@fevertreelover Like many others, I had my suspicions about Mr. Hoppy from the get go, but it takes two to tango, and ultimately, Bethenny should have had more control over her body. Because if a child weren't involved, there probably would not have been a ten yr. divorce war.
@@snarkyenigma9219 Sadly, I agree with you. 💯
Don't let a charmer in anytime..it's manipulation usually and a big sign of a narcissist
I remember watching the series where she got married & was selling the business and I remember saying to my ex (husband at the time) that I could see on her face something was wrong and I didn’t like the way he spoke to her, like helicopter scene standing out in my mind though I don’t remember the why, but was conditioned to think that men are just that way. I too made the mistake of not listening to my intuition a week before my wedding and I sit here marveling at how I didn’t like her ex J while my now ex was doing the same thing to me. Psychological and emotional manipulation can be so undetectable if you don’t know what it is.
Now some of the scenes in Bethanny Ever After make sense...
My thoughts exactly! I was always asking myself, “What’s really going on when the cameras aren’t rolling?” Now we know. No woman should have to go through that.
Authenticity and honesty. Thank you B.
He was already pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Thank you for your honesty & being so real & vulnerable. We have a lot in common w/ how we grew up. I understand not having family & how we are truly alone! I learned that my spiritual journey provided me the healing w/ therapy to trust my gut! 🙏🙏🙏Blessing’s
I always thought He was wirey and sleezy. Did Bethenny and Paul break up?
I always say “If it’s not a yes, it’s a no” I just gave that advice to a friend that was supposed to get married and it felt wrong.
A man must make as much as me or more...never less. I had to learn that the hard way!
The best way I’ve ever heard of the a pre-nup explained is if you’re married and your wife (let’s say has inherited her deceased parents wealth) and then she passes away and the husband remarries. Her family’s wealth will not end up going his new wife. Basically having a say about the future vs head in the sand on what reality may bring. It’s difficult in the frenzy of romance to sort these things out clearly. But the service of your sharing this and helping people become aware of “ the contact” is a huge leap forward for everyone involved.
The vast majority of divorcees are in a vunerable state of mind & are facing the unknown in the first year post divorce. If you date in that first year you're placing yourself at an increased risk of attracting the wrong ppl who can spot vulnerability from a mile away & who don't always have your best interest at heart. Emotions can feel really different compared to when you're not in survival mode & it's never healthy to base decisions on emotions, especially when it comes to relationships. This should be a time for self care, forgiveness, healing & personal growth. If you have children, it's critical they are given your undivided attention bc they can't process things like adults do. ❤
(I posted this before listening all the way through, but she hit the nail on the head!!)
I never married and I have never regretted it. In fact, I believe that I dodged bullets. At a certain age, the pressure to marry intensifies. Fortunately, I resisted (and I felt ostracized, to be honest) but I have never regretted remaining single. You validate my choice. Best wishes to you, Bethenny.
Same!
I wish I felt the same way! I was not ready to get married in my 30s. And then I stayed in relationships a little too long with men who were not marriage material. And now I’m in my 40s and I wish I had a mother or parents or, someone in my life who had pressured me to get married. Now I’m on treading a very thin line of it being too late for me. Once you hit your upper 40s you stop being relevant to men who are dating. I don’t wanna grow old alone.
@HH-gv8mx My circumstances are super similar, but I still don't regret not marrying any of my exes (maybe there is one exception,but he's a true exception) The rest = would have all ended in divorce and I would've hated my life. How I bring reality into focus is: pay attention to the marriages of all your friends. Would you want any of those relationships?
Bethenny, thank you for doing these videos. Your stories and wisdom helps me to not feel alone. ❤ I really appreciate you!!!
Love that! Thanks for watching!
If the man wants out, it’s easy- if not, they’ll go low and haunt aggressively. Facts.
I watched your show years and years ago...I was a teen...the show when you were pregnant with your daughter and getting married...I was virginal and green. I didn't know anything about anything, however, there was a couple of episodes where I FELT that something wasn't right...(I know, I know--tv world isn't real, Bethenny)...but I felt it...I didn't LEARN what I felt until years and years later...I know now.
Bethenny, we love it when you tell us your life stories. Keep it like this please. Share your experiences because they are real. Don't turn into a text book. We learn more from real life! Have a fabulous day. We love you. 💓
Love that you watched xoxo
This is so healing. Love Bethenny. The most genuine, authentic, smart and funny celeb out there.
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I’ve learned that “charming” can be manipulative, whether a man or woman. I think women use “charm” differently but it’s all the same. The person is looking for something in return ~ even if it’s just the adoration from others. I imagine it can be incredibly intoxicating for both sides. Motives can be incredibly disingenuous, dangerous, and life changing. Of course, there is a spectrum like everything. I love someone who is engaging and charming BUT at 60 I now can read the energy of people and usually see through things because of all these decades of experience and people watching. I’m not quite 6 minutes in and I feel like he targeted you when he saw you. I also just restarted watching when you two had the show together about your wedding. I watched in real time but you never know what’s really going on. I don’t know what happened but I remember back then that I hoped you had found a family to help heal your childhood wounds, which I could feel were so deep. Rightfully so. Even more since learning about your mom. I’m so sorry for that loss for both you and your daughter. I’m also sorry that family not only didn’t help heal you, but hurt you even deeper. HOWEVER, my dear - look at you now. After all the pain. This is how we heal. Talking. Sharing. Keep going! 💕
I have had breakups that were like a divorce. It made me not ever want to get married. My parents, sisters and friends terrible marriages and their eventual divorces made my blood run cold.
"Convinced myself to be into him". That hit hard
I’m shocked these judges allowed him to drag this on for so long, especially after the discovery of his antics. I always wonder how hard it is for you to have to share Bryn with this man. I think about how much she must love her Dad, and I get that love but to know you also have to warn her about men like this in the future! This is torturous in itself💔
I remember watching Bethenny Getting Married and Bethenny Ever After when it first came out, thinking how charming he was, and he seemed like the perfect fiance/husband and Bethenny seemed a bit "over the top" emotional (at the time she hadn't talked about all the abuse, so I was just forming an opinion from these TV shows). Then, I spent 3 years in an abusive relationship. I watched these shows again after escaping. Well, that was hard to watch. Because every single mannerism from him, every word he spoke, reminded me of my abuser. The similarities were just terrifying. And I recognised myself in all of Bethenny's reactions, that, in the past, seemed over the top to me. Unfortunately, I think that unless you've lived it, when faced with a real manipulator, it's very hard to actually spot the signs, until it's too late.
Domestic violence is not just about physical abuse. Mental abuse can be just as dangerous, I should know, it almost killed me. So thank you Bethenny for talking about it so openly, hopefully it will help some people realise that they're in danger and escape before it's too late.
Charm as a commodity, feeding people with charm and making them feel good
Narcs …love bomb, charm, befriends all your friends , gaslights , then isolate you , then control you in every way they can . Abusers of the worst variety …charmers in public; abusers behind closed doors . J Depp is textbook version thereof
JDep* : ULTIMATE textbook version of coercive controlling abuser who gaslighted, charmed all, ( esp fans ) , behind closed doors a cruel, vindictive entitled addict who vowed to destroy and publicly humiliate a partner who dared to stand up to him & didn’t settle for his his s*it . . He fulfilled his objective & set about a prolonged war of vengeance ….. if our younger generation don’t see all the red flags in his court case of a narc abuser then they are doomed to fall for same type of charmer and gaslighter & go thru same hell. Instead he was publicly lauded and celebrated bc of his on screen characters . Sounds like B had a classic JD … in for the sport of humiliation and vengeance of an ex partner . JD should be on school curriculums if we want our daughters to avoid falling for the charm, bs, gaslighting and abuse bc never has a more textbook version of coercive abuse been so played out in real life
If someone is charming towards me my guard goes up, especially if I’ve only met them briefly, it’s like red alert as it’s not the same as being polite. I know from talking to friends dating has changed so much. Friend got divorced with good settlement and very sensibly got everything tied up into Trusts for her kids in the future and not for any future partner.
I’m so glad you’re telling your story. You will help so many ❤❤❤❤
Love that you watched!
Oh boy is the charm point ever the truth…. never thought about it but you’re so so so right!
Charm is very often a trait of a dangerous narcissist!
The Bible says charm is deceptive and if you think about it, it is much like casting a spell/influencing someone to bend to your will. I'll never date a 'charming' narcissistic man again, maybe any man for that matter. 🤷🏼♂ Single and happy!
Agree about economic differences - it does not work when you make more money than he does - it just doesn’t and I know it sounds “ not woke”(whatever word you want to use,) it just doesn’t work.
I agree. I made a lot more than my exhusband and I resented it.
Thank you for sharing. This is so important ❤ . My poor friend is going through it
Love that you watched!
Thank you so much B . I’m heeding your advice as I’ve been divorced and now find myself in a similar situation…..❤
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Goo-good-gas-gaaa relationship; Jezzus how true. I married a narcissist for 5 yrs got divorced and then like an idiot knew 1month into it involved myself for 8yrs with a liar, cheater, sociopathic man. 5 yrs outta that and now just finished the financial clean up of these two relationships I swore were right for me. Insane. Just moronic of me. Never ever will I get married again ever
You are so strong! I admire you, sorry you had to go thru this mess with that man!!!
Thanks for watching ❤
Im single, older and childless and thst suited me just fine. But the amount of women I know off, that split and lost everything to their ex is astounding. Women need to grow up and look after themselves when they get married or into a longterm relationship.
I never hear of a woman losing everything, unless it’s Wendy Williams or Bethany Frankel. Usually men have more to lose. But if women marry broke men without a prenup, then that’s a different story.
What a cozy sweater!
My husband past away we were married for 45 years . He past away 9 years ago so yes I started going out and let me tell you the man are there are out for money trust me than I thought I met someone and seen him for two years but I tell him to go home. I need my peace then a couple weeks ago you showed me a picture of a mother of his child who she married has another child I said oh don’t come back because obviously usual picture of your ex why is she sending you pictures it’s one thing if they’re texting about their child who he never married the woman but that’s not the point so that was a red flag so him and the red flag went out so just stay alone. It’s OK to go out once in a while.but keep it out that
I haven't been in a relationship for a long time. I would like to find a significant other, but dating at the moment seems like a chore.😅
I can NEVER be with guy not into! NJ KEPT me tied up in Divorce court for 7yrs Only reason why he knocked up a stranger not told to me. 20yrs No pension gave him home to keep forever for kids He got investments i hired financial planner. A shit show head injury left with NOTHING over corruption.
if “charm” is not clear third or fourth attribute, watch out ! it’s the number one way a person complement you into submission, and get everyone on their unfortunately team. They are passively aggressively, manipulating everyone in their environment. however, it’s usually the partner that’s with them his open one day, and realizes that they use it to “gaslight“ anyone that’s on to them. What’s the most dangerous about it? The world thinks he’s wonderful. Meanwhile he’s not only gaslighting you, but he’s manipulating them with his charm to be on his team that’s and gets help from them you by telling them how “crazy,”, “nuts” and when you react strongly against those statements, they turn to their friends and family and say “I told you so ” because it’s horrible because it breaks you down. If anybody is doing this to you, I would tape them. (although taping somebody in some states are against the law.) get a good therapist and I would have them listen to your tape help your own team. I’m so sorry Bethany that you had to go through this. I’ve been through it too. Yours was a decade as was mine. sweetheart, please take care of yourself as you’re reliving this. Please know that it’s behind you. My therapist told me that whenever I go through these horrible memories that I should leave the conversation after asking myself this question last “and then what happened”.... because we are now on the other side. Thank God still scarred deeply. However, we made it. Please be proud of yourself.😍
I had a gut feeling with my ex I couldn't put my finger on yet I married him anyways (on my 20s). Big Mistake... HUGE
Wanting to be wanted does it to me every time
I dated a really nice younger man for a short time in December/January. We remain friendly, but we really are at different places in life. At 69, I'm pretty much a selfcontained unit. Been single since March 2003. After the first 5 years, never missed it...or him!
Thanks so much for the info. Very interesting and valuable - like you.
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Just have someone to go to dinner with or have a day out. Don't get married again. I think in your position it will be difficult going forward. 🎉❤ sent with love from Rosie O x
So glad I’m one of the lucky ones to have found a great man and married almost 35 yrs .Tje tonight of divorce scares the living hell out of me !!
I don’t know anyone whose marriages have worked.
Charming people want something - it’s not authentic
Yeah narcissist love to get people pregnant because then they can use the kids against them. Narcissist I have yet to see them be a good mother or father so but I pray that he is a better father than he has been a partner for her sake.
My narc ex would alwayyyys talk about wanting to get me pregnant but never about wanting to be a father or being excited to raise a family. He literally saw pregnancy as a tool not a blessing.
Had an ex that dragged divorce out for 3 years, for no reason. He was cheating, he hoped that he could say, I left for someone else. I never cheated, never dated, waited until divorce final. ( One time got together to see if could reconcile, reputedly. He kept pointing out men, he’d say, he’s interested in you. He’d tell me repeatedly, you just don’t want to be dependent on me.- No , the problem is YOU are not dependable, non-stop lying.)😡🤬🤬
My ex was all of this. I worked to pay for him to build his business, then felt so disrespected, and exhausted, by his actions that I let my filter go. I was sad about it in the beginning, but now... Fuck it! Good riddance!!!
Proud of your strength ❤❤❤
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@@bethennyfrankel hopefully we can meet one day come to Orlando I’ll get you in Disney :)
Can't thank you enough for this. Am in something that came w so many red flags that I all ignored precisely because the attention at a real low in my life just felt so good. Now it is hell on wheels. Listening to this only confirms to me what I need to do and that is to get the hell out asap. Thank you!
Love that you watched!
Sending you hugs! Thank you for continuing to be vulnerable and sharing.
xoxo
Hiya Bethenny Thankyou for sharing your experience/ thoughts. Blessings luv Ontario Canada 🐝🇨🇦
Thanks for watching!
You made an excellent, point-you make better choices when you feel good about yourself. Thanj you sharing your wisdom with us.
Key word feeling good about yourself . I think everyone who has accumulated wealth should have a prenuptial agreement.if not that is the making for a very toxic relationship. You will always think he is with you for your money. When you marry young and built wealth together then it will be divided.
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B, I have watched you since housewives started, the show after and still. Im sorry you experienced this but what a blessing you have in your daughter as a result. I love that you are in a place to share this now. You are helping so many.❤
Love that you watched xo
I just took a call from a heartbroken girlfriend. I had a date woth her boyfriend not knowing he wasn't single. I felt so stinking bad for her. A year together, met his parents and her children are involved. She saw his texts and immediately called me. When does the BS stop? If you dont want to be with someone...tell them. This was so hurtful to this young lady.
Bethenny spoke factz, even when she pulled the Johnny Depp. She kept it real and honestly the advice is needed in my life so....keep on giving it cuz imma keep receiving it ❤
Thanks for watching ❤️
I SO appreciate how honest you always are. ❤
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This is so good and important! ❤❤
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Red flags, listen, see, feel them yup. I didn't see any! Woke up though and thank you Bethany for your wisdom. Hanging on every word. ❤
Thanks for watching!
You did it the right way sooooo proud of you!!! All great Mothers are proud of you!!! Love always Kelli
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I love the sweater!!! You are hilarious Bethany.
🌹Absolute vital topic to discuss. You continuing to share your experiences are helping so many women Bethenny. I relate so much to you. Thank you for being the incredibly authentic, courageous and inspiring woman that you are. ~Love&Light♥️Carli
So important to share with other women. Keep listening, spread the word!
Thank you for sharing.🇬🇧💛🤍
I was married 16 yrs. @ 17, a child owned a home ,but my husband was a domestic violence. Had child, and paid for my own divorce at 21. Stay single for 30 yrs. Now remarried @51, 07/07/07 and now a widowed ❤ 2022 . Life CHANGE...
Thank you for this. Love watching this
Glad you enjoyed it!
YESSSSSSSSSSSS episode 2 is back!!!!!!!
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❤❤❤❤ B , I think it’s so awesome 🙌 that for a self made rich person, it’s so cool you’re sharing this important knowledge to us all for free , in hopes it will keep someone, to share this is priceless- THANK YOU 🙏💖Fifi
Keep listening ❤️
Totally not related to topic,but please fix the camera angle so your just b sign is in shot. I've watched a few episodes and I can't take it! Is my ocd showing? 😂 It's making me crazy. 😎 Love you girl! 😉
“ Shake your head up like a snowball and get the hell out of your own way “
At 6 minutes you are speaking my language. I realize years later he in on the Narcissist spectrum at level 9. Looking for attorney not looking forward to the battle.
“and what the fuck why am i in this car?” 😂
One must ‘flatter-proof’ one’s self, if at all possible!!
You know divorce. But stop at the I know relationships. With peace and love 💝.❤
Lol
LOVE this series.
Keep watching ❤
No prenuptial agreement, but because of previous marriage. I left everything I had in a trust, and will continue to keep my home in a trust. I won't loose it again. Goes to my daughter, hubs is okay with that...
Hugs to you Bethenny. I know you love makeup but you only need your moisturizers. You are prettier than you think.
obsessed with you
I love this, thanks B❤️
Thanks for watching!
Happens to far too many women...I've had that thought too..like wth was I thinking with that bum??? Never again. So many don't learn or let such a person destroy them. Nope. Just got knowledge to not let a monster in ever again.
I am so here for this!
Love that!
A lot of states have gotten rid of common law marriage
I have been divorced twice. Could not afford a lawyer at that time in my life unfortunately.
I absolutely adore this series, and it's important to debunk the myth that only divorce attorneys are equipped to discuss divorce. While they certainly excel at navigating the legal intricacies, individuals like B, who have experienced a lengthy divorce, offer invaluable insights into the social dynamics involved.
As a person who has made mistakes...you know your own heart...we don't want to believe it, but it tells us the truth
I subbed right away! My husband blindsided me with divorce papers and I need guidance and advice. I need to put on my big girl panties! Thank you ❤
Thanks for watching xo
You give great advice!❤
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I thought he was overbearing on Bethany ever after he was a creep
You are saying it straight up!
I never would have married my ex-husband if I hadn't gotten pregnant. I lasted 16 years, but he was a good father, and we had an amicable divorce, and our daughter appreciates that we get along. I did end up remarrying and am in a wonderful relationship. It is my 4th marriage and I am 58. There is hope, but it takes finding the right person. We met thru eharmony and I genuinely think that it works if you take the time to answer all of the questions.
The fact that your ex dated another reality star tells me everything I need to know about this guy… you’re lovely and beautiful but this guy was after money and “fame”
If you don’t know that it’s right, it’s wrong. So true! The day I got married there was no nerves, no worries. I knew my husband was the one.
Damn so good
This advice is spot on
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4:14 i was “charming” in my early twenties because it seemed to work for me, but then some girl said “oh wow, are you a schmoozer?”