If your with someone who doesn't make you feel seen or heard or loved, that may be an indicator your not with the right person. So many people try to fit a square peg into a round hole cause they don't want to be alone.
That could also be how you feel because of past traumas and your partner could be doing everything in their power to help you feel those things but you can't receive it due to your own distortions.
I felt like that in the beginning of my relashionship, but honestly it was because of my issues. I worked on that an now I feel loved :) So it depends.
I love that you are following this show, thank you for all the content you put out!! I don’t watch 90 Fiancé so I appreciate you covering so many different things. I can’t imagine the amount of time it takes 💓
Same! Love his reaction videos but fell off the 90 day train and feels way too overwhelming to jump back in. Love these other reaction videos to shows that give us some raw(ish) human behavior to observe.
I love that you talked about the internet vs psychology. I think terms get thrown around too much, and people start believing everyone who hurts them is a narcissist or a sociopath, but not everyone fits under a perfect label. It does a great disservice to diagnosed people who are trying to get better, or people who are looking for an excuse for their bad behavior. For example, my father shows narcissistic tendencies towards me, but he'd jump in front of a bullet for his childhood family. Others see him as a great friend. As for me, he makes me feel unwanted and pats himself on the back if he calls 4x a year. I don't think he's a narcissist, I just think he's immature and unwilling to seek guidance for his trauma. It's easier to be in denial than to take off the rose-tinted glasses and talk about what's really happening.
So true. Anytime someone on these shows shows some self-centered thinking or behavior or does something the audience doesn’t like (almost always rightfully so), they are immediately internet-diagnosed as a narcissist or a sociopath.
Colby is eerily similar to the guy I was dating earlier this year. I literally never felt seen. It was so weird because he technically did all these “loving” gestures. My ex, who loved me SO much, supposedly, idealized me for months, randomly ghosted me and blocked me after 8 months. It was the weirdest thing. And oddly enough, Dr. Honda, I had known it all along but was in denial. During our relationship, I never felt listened to, heard, or real to him. And I tried bringing these 3 concerns to him, over and over again, and that feeling never went away.
I think part of the wide variance in both Colby and Madlyn's reactivity is the level of alcohol consumption. After the show Madlyn has stated on different podcasts that she wished she hadn't drank so much during filming of the show.
At 24:00 when Maddie is talking about doing whatever it takes to get "love," is she saying that if she feels like she's in a loveless relationship, she'll leave or might even cheat on that person to get it?
“She must be in a particular space bc she’s making a lot of choices right now to make it work.” Knowing what we know now, yeah you could say that Dr. H! 😏
Anyone watch Seeking Sister Wife? The 90 day fiance fandom doesn't seem to back me up in wanting the Docs reactions. Maybe my people are here following the Ultimatum? 🙏
hmm 9:30 what you describe as a sensitivity to criticism sounds similar to what thais gibson says of dismissive avoidants, it feels like there is a blurred line between the two here.
What the mom described could easily be explained as having good days and bad days, being in a state of nervousness and hypervigilance vs a relaxed state. There's no indication of narcissism in what the mom said. Perhaps in Colbys behavior on screen, though.
Doc, I saw someone in a TH-cam comment (on a video, not yours) say that their therapist told them that if you feel like you HAVE to record your conversations to replay to the person that you’re probably dealing with someone with NPD or BPD.
He generally doesn’t talk about ‘having’ to record yourself. He talks about using it as a tool to notice how you come off to others in conflict. It’s a way of hearing back your tone and phrases because we often don’t realize we’re acting a certain way in conflict. Not to score keep or to remember things necessarily.
I think it’s really important to keep in mind that they-particularly Colby-are very, very aware that they are on camera for this conversation in particular. Especially the end, where he says “I know I need to listen more and I promise to do that.” I want to think that he was being sincere, but in this scene and others I have gotten the feeling (and I have no idea, obviously), that he is saying what he thinks he should say in order to look good for the cameras. Hence why he wasn’t actually vulnerable, but said enough for it to feel like he was being receptive but seemingly very quickly (at least in the edit) did turn it around on her, but then still looked like the good guy because he was being very insightful and sensitive about the source of her traumas/criticism. I mean, I would have a hard time showing the bad side of myself when there’s a camera 2 feet away too. But he seemed like he was the one whose communication was driven the most by being on camera. And maybe that’s another tick in the column of narcissism, I don’t know.
I agree on the amount of editing on this show. When I watched the ultimatum... I was talking out loud about how abrupt and obvious the edited clips were. Looking for extra drama for clicks and memes? I was already interested in their issues and how they would talk things out and found the editing completely unnecessary. Wish there were more shows kind of like couples therapy. I am so interested in couples and intimacy! It is my national geographic lol
I’m surprised at the extent that Dr. Honda and most commenters are going after Colby. I honestly didn’t think he was that bad, I did NOT see superiority complexes NEARLY as much as Dr. Honda talks on and on about, and frankly until this point in the show, I was WAY more disgusted by Madilyn and her behavior, demeanor, attitude towards Colby, etc. Even if we think that she was being manipulated or put down by Colby (which I don’t buy), the level of contempt she seemed to have for him from the get go seemed less like her being a victim and way more like her taking him for granted, smugly enjoying being chased while looking down on him and not reciprocating affection, etc. I have NOT seen an OUNCE of affection towards him from her, and if I heard my partner talk about me the way she did, especially in the beginning of the show, I’d have left. It’s probably also why I don’t even see his supposed cheating as cheating - partly because to me it seemed an understandable misunderstanding of the “rules of the game “ with a show like this, but partly because it seemed like she expects him to chase after her and showcase pure loyalty even as she’s SO ready to tear him up, throw herself at someone else, and not give him the love and loyalty she wants.
Lmao, I was dating a potential narc for a few months when this show first aired, and was in denial about it. He was great on the surface, and “technically” did a lot of loving things but I had this weird gut feeling from very early on that never went away. And as our relationship developed and he “fell in love” with me, things still felt off. I literally never fully believed that he saw me or understood me. It almost like he loved having me. The idealization and framing us as the perfect couple was so similar to how Colby talks about Mad. So, I started watching the show and it was eerie how similar Colby’s mannerisms and…personality were to my ex. And it was even more concerning hearing Mad express all these feelings that I felt wanting to ignore. I thought that I was going crazy for not wanting to be with this “seemingly” great guy. Anyway. I continued the relationship. And suspected that Colby was a narc, and then…concluded - what does that say about my boyfriend at the time? 😆. This same boyfriend, who worshipped the ground I walked on for 6 months, and I got into a minor argument a few weeks later. I wake up, and find that he literally blocked me from everywhere. For no reason. No rationale. The argument from the night before wasn’t grand. It was odd. It was like overnight, he no longer existed. That’s when it was confirmed to me that he was probably a narc and that I was devalued and discarded. Similarly, to how Mad’s mom points out that Colby suddenly began to treat her differently. My ex of 9 months, who told me 48 hours ago, how much he loved me blah blah blah, ghosted me. And refused to break up with me or give me any closure. I think that Mad and others are picking up on the same bad vibes I felt when I first met my ex. It’s something that narcs are known to make people feel…
I don't watch the show. I just watch what Dr. Honda shows and it seems like she doesn't care about him. Sounds like she's trying to find an excuse to break it up but he just won't budge.
@@wackybrattyx girl, I feel you 100%. My ex seemed perfect, he took me for trips, he took a 300km train ride when I was sick just to see me for 2 days, he took me to expensive restaurants and let cooked me meals. Perfect on the outside. He also held all small things against me, he never took my "no" for an answer, especially eery in bed. He touched me when I didn't want to, he got offended by small things and loved to trigger me and argue with me. He belittled my culture and disguised it as "jokes", because according to him I am nationalistic for not wanting to be called a slave (because apparently Slavs come from slaves), my currency "fake people money", or not actually believing life in my country is not that inferior to his western country. He also had temper tantrums and was not able to control his emotions, blowing up because I didn't reciprocate tickling in a shop when I was on my period and specifically told him not to touch me, no fresh basil in any small shop on Sunday, being too late for a tram, spilling oil on the kitchen floor. The arguments never ended, because ever after supposed ending, he took out all the dirt and accusations from other arguements. After 8 months it was just damn too much, I felt like I was going crazy. At the same time he conveniently omitted all nice, caring things I did to him on a daily basis. He even accused me of not being committed enough to the relationship when I broke up with me a week before (we made up). Just walking on eggshells at home but perfect in front of others. He always had to WIN and could never have any empathy towards me, that was bigger than running out of toilet paper or losing a pen. I caught myself begging him to put himself in my shoes, I was begging this narcissist for empathy. It's fruitless. You cannot. One week he tells me he loves me and sees the future with me, the next week when I break up with him he harassers me, 20 calls, 30 emails, constant messages from different numbers. Despicable things he texted and said. He wanted to destroy me. Mask off. BELIEVE PEOPLE WHO THEY REALLY ARE. He has never had respect to me and his oblivious thinking is ridiculous at this point. After all he did to me he had an audacity to accuse me (yet again...., Here we go.... ) Of having to respect towards him! If you're interested in the topic, check the podcast of women of impact with the divorce attorney. She put it so well, saying that peoples true nature is seen how they treat other individuals during difficult times. Also, if they act how they act it means they have it in them. My ex had all this venom in him and now I am going to become that "crazy, black soul, venomous ex" he told me about when we started dating. I am sorry it happened to you, I hope you can look with fondness on this period of your life. I know I will but I need more time. For now, I know what to look for when it comes to red flags and what should I work on so I can be ready for the person that would want to build something serious with me. The hardest part of the journey is the realisation that this person is lost, no way of reasoning, no way of empathy. They will be the victims, or better than you, they will see no wrong in themselves despite what they say in critical moments. If they apologize and do the same thing a couple of days, weeks after then they never apologized. The best is cutting loses and moving on.
I wonder if madlyn’s narrative changed from not really being into Colby and being exciting to date other guys to know being more emotional and wanting things to work with him bring due to her possibly finding out she was pregnant. Just a thought..
So, what she was saying, I think, is rather that, when she doesn't feel loved and appreciated by a romantic partner, she's going to be willing to do everything in her power to met this particular need and feel this way again (even by going to another one if she has to..(I suppose*)). She is confessing that she knows her intensity or flaws in this particular situation may or will be coming back in future.
are people blind. Madlyn was treating Colby like trash the whole show. publicly insulting him. Just openly disrespecting him. She wanted to sleep with the other guy as early as possible. Why are people even taking her seriously. She shouldn't date anyone.
It makes me pretty sad that even therapists call out people who have NPD in a way that suggests that these people are monsters, and that you should do everything to get out of a relationship with them, like they're not worthy of being loved, because all they want from others is their narcissistic supply and to put others down. And once they're done completely destroying, abusing and sucking you dry, they'll discard you like a piece of trash and even feel good about it. Dr. Honda's description of narcissism totally fits my husband's personality. And I can also see the pain he is causing himself, or better said the constant strife of not feeling utterly worthless and empty. I only understood how much he is suffering after I started listening to Honda Sensei about a year ago, and I understand the involuntary behaviours of his to make others feel the way he does about himself - like a freaking piece of s*it... Just because he thinks it's making him feel better. The put downs, rage and seeming nonchalance and disregard he sometimes displays, now show me how scared he is of revealing his true vulnerable self... And it's so sad to me that people with this personality disorder do so much to appear like a good person just because they really believe that they are nothing, when without this behavior, it would be so much easier to actually love them and meet their needs. To me, they are not master manipulators as so many people on the internet try to proclaim them as. I think they're one of the saddest people of all, who suffer so much with being who they are that they do everything to appear different and supperior to that, and that is the very reason they don't get loved...
It’s very sad but what most recognise is these people can be destructive, abusive and harmful. You are not required to tolerate people’s crap it’s their job to get therapy and keep your child safe or they will resent you / be traumatised
I really don't like the label narcissist. I once heard narcissism described as anything negative you don't want to see in yourself. I believe we all have aspects of this we aren't ready to address.
I get where you're coming from. A lot of people misuse the label. Narcissism is just being arrogant/ self centered. Narcissistic personality disorder is someone who suffered a lot growing up and uses arrogance and self centeredness as a way to cope with a deep feeling of emptiness I feel if you use the terms/labels correctly then they aren't harmful
@@seashells1460 someone who is a true narcissist - is someone who has NPD. But like all conditions it’s on a spectrum- some people have a much more extreme version of it while others are lower on the NPD scale. What you are talking about with ‘narcissism’ is someone who has narcissistic traits, or exhibits narcissistic behaviours. That’s not the same thing as someone who has narcissism or is a narcissist as that’s refer to someone who has some levels of NPD
@@barbarella.artist I agree with you in the sense that it is a spectrum. I'm aware someone can have traits and not be diagnosed as having a personality disorder. I don't think there is such a thing as "having narcissism" seeing as it's just a description-example: "that person is narcissistic". but saying "that person is a narcissist" it's not clinical. It's something people on the internet say. It'd be like saying that person is a borderline. It's not really "correct" wording. Im not sure you read my full comment. I described someone with NPD as someone who most likely had severe childhood trauma or neglect and copes in ways that come across as arrogance and self centeredness. So that they don't have to face the pure emptiness they feel inside. Some people are just kind of arrogant or self centered but not diagnosable so therefore they are just narcissistic not someone who suffers from a personality disorder. I think we both agree on this you may have just misunderstood what I wrote and I may have not explained myself well.
Dude. Madelyn is only is this show to get to use the excuse of the "experiment" to sleep with other people. It's so obvious. You give her to much unearned credit
Yes!! I have not seen this yet but I would love to see him react to more UK versions of shows. Even this year’s Love Island UK I feel like there are (cultural) differences that could be interesting to see Dr Hondas take on.
@@dextermorganscat i love him reacting to the Ultimatum tbh but yes this season of Love Island UK has A TON of good content i’d love to hear Dr. Honda’s take
If your with someone who doesn't make you feel seen or heard or loved, that may be an indicator your not with the right person. So many people try to fit a square peg into a round hole cause they don't want to be alone.
Thank you! Say it louder for the ppl in the back.
I feel this 😔
That could also be how you feel because of past traumas and your partner could be doing everything in their power to help you feel those things but you can't receive it due to your own distortions.
I felt like that in the beginning of my relashionship, but honestly it was because of my issues. I worked on that an now I feel loved :) So it depends.
I love that you are following this show, thank you for all the content you put out!! I don’t watch 90 Fiancé so I appreciate you covering so many different things. I can’t imagine the amount of time it takes 💓
Same! Love his reaction videos but fell off the 90 day train and feels way too overwhelming to jump back in. Love these other reaction videos to shows that give us some raw(ish) human behavior to observe.
I love that you talked about the internet vs psychology. I think terms get thrown around too much, and people start believing everyone who hurts them is a narcissist or a sociopath, but not everyone fits under a perfect label. It does a great disservice to diagnosed people who are trying to get better, or people who are looking for an excuse for their bad behavior.
For example, my father shows narcissistic tendencies towards me, but he'd jump in front of a bullet for his childhood family. Others see him as a great friend. As for me, he makes me feel unwanted and pats himself on the back if he calls 4x a year. I don't think he's a narcissist, I just think he's immature and unwilling to seek guidance for his trauma. It's easier to be in denial than to take off the rose-tinted glasses and talk about what's really happening.
So true. Anytime someone on these shows shows some self-centered thinking or behavior or does something the audience doesn’t like (almost always rightfully so), they are immediately internet-diagnosed as a narcissist or a sociopath.
Anyone else just dying to see Dr Honda’s reaction to how these two turn out? Getting out my popcorn…🤣
Colby is eerily similar to the guy I was dating earlier this year. I literally never felt seen. It was so weird because he technically did all these “loving” gestures. My ex, who loved me SO much, supposedly, idealized me for months, randomly ghosted me and blocked me after 8 months. It was the weirdest thing. And oddly enough, Dr. Honda, I had known it all along but was in denial. During our relationship, I never felt listened to, heard, or real to him. And I tried bringing these 3 concerns to him, over and over again, and that feeling never went away.
Madlyn seems like she has been traumatized by her parents divorce in such a way that leaving someone she doesn't even seem to like is so scary to her.
I think part of the wide variance in both Colby and Madlyn's reactivity is the level of alcohol consumption. After the show Madlyn has stated on different podcasts that she wished she hadn't drank so much during filming of the show.
Yeah she was a mad house after she drank. Very unattractive.
Oh God it was bad to watch
At 24:00 when Maddie is talking about doing whatever it takes to get "love," is she saying that if she feels like she's in a loveless relationship, she'll leave or might even cheat on that person to get it?
I'm glad you're sticking with this show!
“She must be in a particular space bc she’s making a lot of choices right now to make it work.” Knowing what we know now, yeah you could say that Dr. H! 😏
Love your content ♥️
Anyone watch Seeking Sister Wife? The 90 day fiance fandom doesn't seem to back me up in wanting the Docs reactions. Maybe my people are here following the Ultimatum? 🙏
That would be incredible!
hmm 9:30 what you describe as a sensitivity to criticism sounds similar to what thais gibson says of dismissive avoidants, it feels like there is a blurred line between the two here.
What the mom described could easily be explained as having good days and bad days, being in a state of nervousness and hypervigilance vs a relaxed state. There's no indication of narcissism in what the mom said. Perhaps in Colbys behavior on screen, though.
Doc, I saw someone in a TH-cam comment (on a video, not yours) say that their therapist told them that if you feel like you HAVE to record your conversations to replay to the person that you’re probably dealing with someone with NPD or BPD.
He generally doesn’t talk about ‘having’ to record yourself. He talks about using it as a tool to notice how you come off to others in conflict. It’s a way of hearing back your tone and phrases because we often don’t realize we’re acting a certain way in conflict. Not to score keep or to remember things necessarily.
I think it’s really important to keep in mind that they-particularly Colby-are very, very aware that they are on camera for this conversation in particular. Especially the end, where he says “I know I need to listen more and I promise to do that.” I want to think that he was being sincere, but in this scene and others I have gotten the feeling (and I have no idea, obviously), that he is saying what he thinks he should say in order to look good for the cameras. Hence why he wasn’t actually vulnerable, but said enough for it to feel like he was being receptive but seemingly very quickly (at least in the edit) did turn it around on her, but then still looked like the good guy because he was being very insightful and sensitive about the source of her traumas/criticism. I mean, I would have a hard time showing the bad side of myself when there’s a camera 2 feet away too. But he seemed like he was the one whose communication was driven the most by being on camera. And maybe that’s another tick in the column of narcissism, I don’t know.
I agree on the amount of editing on this show. When I watched the ultimatum... I was talking out loud about how abrupt and obvious the edited clips were. Looking for extra drama for clicks and memes? I was already interested in their issues and how they would talk things out and found the editing completely unnecessary. Wish there were more shows kind of like couples therapy. I am so interested in couples and intimacy! It is my national geographic lol
I’m surprised at the extent that Dr. Honda and most commenters are going after Colby. I honestly didn’t think he was that bad, I did NOT see superiority complexes NEARLY as much as Dr. Honda talks on and on about, and frankly until this point in the show, I was WAY more disgusted by Madilyn and her behavior, demeanor, attitude towards Colby, etc. Even if we think that she was being manipulated or put down by Colby (which I don’t buy), the level of contempt she seemed to have for him from the get go seemed less like her being a victim and way more like her taking him for granted, smugly enjoying being chased while looking down on him and not reciprocating affection, etc. I have NOT seen an OUNCE of affection towards him from her, and if I heard my partner talk about me the way she did, especially in the beginning of the show, I’d have left. It’s probably also why I don’t even see his supposed cheating as cheating - partly because to me it seemed an understandable misunderstanding of the “rules of the game “ with a show like this, but partly because it seemed like she expects him to chase after her and showcase pure loyalty even as she’s SO ready to tear him up, throw herself at someone else, and not give him the love and loyalty she wants.
I agree and I'm still very surprised at what focus all the segments about Madlyn and Colby have on this channel.
Lmao, I was dating a potential narc for a few months when this show first aired, and was in denial about it. He was great on the surface, and “technically” did a lot of loving things but I had this weird gut feeling from very early on that never went away. And as our relationship developed and he “fell in love” with me, things still felt off. I literally never fully believed that he saw me or understood me. It almost like he loved having me. The idealization and framing us as the perfect couple was so similar to how Colby talks about Mad. So, I started watching the show and it was eerie how similar Colby’s mannerisms and…personality were to my ex. And it was even more concerning hearing Mad express all these feelings that I felt wanting to ignore. I thought that I was going crazy for not wanting to be with this “seemingly” great guy. Anyway. I continued the relationship. And suspected that Colby was a narc, and then…concluded - what does that say about my boyfriend at the time? 😆.
This same boyfriend, who worshipped the ground I walked on for 6 months, and I got into a minor argument a few weeks later. I wake up, and find that he literally blocked me from everywhere. For no reason. No rationale. The argument from the night before wasn’t grand. It was odd. It was like overnight, he no longer existed. That’s when it was confirmed to me that he was probably a narc and that I was devalued and discarded. Similarly, to how Mad’s mom points out that Colby suddenly began to treat her differently.
My ex of 9 months, who told me 48 hours ago, how much he loved me blah blah blah, ghosted me. And refused to break up with me or give me any closure. I think that Mad and others are picking up on the same bad vibes I felt when I first met my ex. It’s something that narcs are known to make people feel…
I don't watch the show. I just watch what Dr. Honda shows and it seems like she doesn't care about him. Sounds like she's trying to find an excuse to break it up but he just won't budge.
@@wackybrattyx girl, I feel you 100%.
My ex seemed perfect, he took me for trips, he took a 300km train ride when I was sick just to see me for 2 days, he took me to expensive restaurants and let cooked me meals.
Perfect on the outside.
He also held all small things against me, he never took my "no" for an answer, especially eery in bed. He touched me when I didn't want to, he got offended by small things and loved to trigger me and argue with me. He belittled my culture and disguised it as "jokes", because according to him I am nationalistic for not wanting to be called a slave (because apparently Slavs come from slaves), my currency "fake people money", or not actually believing life in my country is not that inferior to his western country.
He also had temper tantrums and was not able to control his emotions, blowing up because I didn't reciprocate tickling in a shop when I was on my period and specifically told him not to touch me, no fresh basil in any small shop on Sunday, being too late for a tram, spilling oil on the kitchen floor.
The arguments never ended, because ever after supposed ending, he took out all the dirt and accusations from other arguements. After 8 months it was just damn too much, I felt like I was going crazy.
At the same time he conveniently omitted all nice, caring things I did to him on a daily basis.
He even accused me of not being committed enough to the relationship when I broke up with me a week before (we made up).
Just walking on eggshells at home but perfect in front of others. He always had to WIN and could never have any empathy towards me, that was bigger than running out of toilet paper or losing a pen. I caught myself begging him to put himself in my shoes, I was begging this narcissist for empathy.
It's fruitless. You cannot.
One week he tells me he loves me and sees the future with me, the next week when I break up with him he harassers me, 20 calls, 30 emails, constant messages from different numbers. Despicable things he texted and said. He wanted to destroy me.
Mask off. BELIEVE PEOPLE WHO THEY REALLY ARE. He has never had respect to me and his oblivious thinking is ridiculous at this point. After all he did to me he had an audacity to accuse me (yet again...., Here we go.... ) Of having to respect towards him!
If you're interested in the topic, check the podcast of women of impact with the divorce attorney. She put it so well, saying that peoples true nature is seen how they treat other individuals during difficult times. Also, if they act how they act it means they have it in them. My ex had all this venom in him and now I am going to become that "crazy, black soul, venomous ex" he told me about when we started dating.
I am sorry it happened to you, I hope you can look with fondness on this period of your life. I know I will but I need more time. For now, I know what to look for when it comes to red flags and what should I work on so I can be ready for the person that would want to build something serious with me.
The hardest part of the journey is the realisation that this person is lost, no way of reasoning, no way of empathy. They will be the victims, or better than you, they will see no wrong in themselves despite what they say in critical moments. If they apologize and do the same thing a couple of days, weeks after then they never apologized.
The best is cutting loses and moving on.
I was disgusted with her immediately. She seems like one of those people that will cheat on you and blame you for it.
you should review change days!! it's essentially the same concept but korean i think itd be really interesting
I wonder if madlyn’s narrative changed from not really being into Colby and being exciting to date other guys to know being more emotional and wanting things to work with him bring due to her possibly finding out she was pregnant. Just a thought..
My experience with a narcissist is that they do desperately try but won't hear you or actually change.
So, what she was saying, I think, is rather that, when she doesn't feel loved and appreciated by a romantic partner, she's going to be willing to do everything in her power to met this particular need and feel this way again (even by going to another one if she has to..(I suppose*)). She is confessing that she knows her intensity or flaws in this particular situation may or will be coming back in future.
asking for vanderpump rules reaction! I need dr Hondas reaction to that show
You should put all healthy moments in a row with your reaction. We need the vibes and inspo pronto
What do you think of MBTI? What's your personailty type?
he has an episode on this on the podcast, with a guest! it's a pretty cool one :)
@@kmarina4261 do you have the link please?
He is ENFJ I believe. It's searchable on Patreon for patrons
are people blind. Madlyn was treating Colby like trash the whole show. publicly insulting him. Just openly disrespecting him. She wanted to sleep with the other guy as early as possible. Why are people even taking her seriously. She shouldn't date anyone.
Can you analyze Will Smith apology?
@Miss Manawaka Smith apologized in a youtube video again yesterday. I don't believe the channel addressed this most recent apology yet
It makes me pretty sad that even therapists call out people who have NPD in a way that suggests that these people are monsters, and that you should do everything to get out of a relationship with them, like they're not worthy of being loved, because all they want from others is their narcissistic supply and to put others down. And once they're done completely destroying, abusing and sucking you dry, they'll discard you like a piece of trash and even feel good about it.
Dr. Honda's description of narcissism totally fits my husband's personality. And I can also see the pain he is causing himself, or better said the constant strife of not feeling utterly worthless and empty.
I only understood how much he is suffering after I started listening to Honda Sensei about a year ago, and I understand the involuntary behaviours of his to make others feel the way he does about himself - like a freaking piece of s*it... Just because he thinks it's making him feel better.
The put downs, rage and seeming nonchalance and disregard he sometimes displays, now show me how scared he is of revealing his true vulnerable self... And it's so sad to me that people with this personality disorder do so much to appear like a good person just because they really believe that they are nothing, when without this behavior, it would be so much easier to actually love them and meet their needs. To me, they are not master manipulators as so many people on the internet try to proclaim them as. I think they're one of the saddest people of all, who suffer so much with being who they are that they do everything to appear different and supperior to that, and that is the very reason they don't get loved...
Well the narcissists relationship cycle is very very real.
It’s very sad but what most recognise is these people can be destructive, abusive and harmful. You are not required to tolerate people’s crap it’s their job to get therapy and keep your child safe or they will resent you / be traumatised
Her vocal fry makes me very irritated. Why is vocal fry so annoying to some of us? People in the UK don't seem to have it. 🤔
It’s annoying to me because it’s fake.
I really don't like the label narcissist. I once heard narcissism described as anything negative you don't want to see in yourself. I believe we all have aspects of this we aren't ready to address.
I get where you're coming from. A lot of people misuse the label. Narcissism is just being arrogant/ self centered. Narcissistic personality disorder is someone who suffered a lot growing up and uses arrogance and self centeredness as a way to cope with a deep feeling of emptiness
I feel if you use the terms/labels correctly then they aren't harmful
@@seashells1460
someone who is a true narcissist - is someone who has NPD.
But like all conditions it’s on a spectrum- some people have a much more extreme version of it while others are lower on the NPD scale.
What you are talking about with ‘narcissism’ is someone who has narcissistic traits, or exhibits narcissistic behaviours.
That’s not the same thing as someone who has narcissism or is a narcissist as that’s refer to someone who has some levels of NPD
@@barbarella.artist I agree with you in the sense that it is a spectrum. I'm aware someone can have traits and not be diagnosed as having a personality disorder. I don't think there is such a thing as "having narcissism" seeing as it's just a description-example: "that person is narcissistic". but saying "that person is a narcissist" it's not clinical. It's something people on the internet say. It'd be like saying that person is a borderline. It's not really "correct" wording.
Im not sure you read my full comment. I described someone with NPD as someone who most likely had severe childhood trauma or neglect and copes in ways that come across as arrogance and self centeredness. So that they don't have to face the pure emptiness they feel inside. Some people are just kind of arrogant or self centered but not diagnosable so therefore they are just narcissistic not someone who suffers from a personality disorder. I think we both agree on this you may have just misunderstood what I wrote and I may have not explained myself well.
@@barbarella.artist I know! Lol I don't know what I'm saying to make you think I don't know this.
that's not what narcissism means though
Could you watch and review the show Change Days on netflix? It is about real relationships with issues and I would love your input!! ❤️
Dude. Madelyn is only is this show to get to use the excuse of the "experiment" to sleep with other people. It's so obvious. You give her to much unearned credit
she didn't though?? also he was the one dating some rando who was not even involved in the show, something they did NOT agree to
'I'm not defending them.' Yeah, right.🤣🤣
Love ya doc but please give up on this old show and start watching 90 Day fiance UK! It just came out recently. Would love to see your take on it.
Yes!! I have not seen this yet but I would love to see him react to more UK versions of shows. Even this year’s Love Island UK I feel like there are (cultural) differences that could be interesting to see Dr Hondas take on.
@@dextermorganscat i love him reacting to the Ultimatum tbh but yes this season of Love Island UK has A TON of good content i’d love to hear Dr. Honda’s take
I wonder if there's an access issue with UK versions. I'd like to see them though
Not all of us watch 90 day fiancé, and it’d be VERY old and repetitive for him to do ALL of the content on one franchise. The rest of us matter too.