Tim Hawkins - Things You Don't Say To Your Wife
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 เม.ย. 2009
- www.timhawkins.net
Tim sings about learning some things the hard way, from the "Full Range of Motion" DVD.
"Things You Don't Say to Your Wife" is available on Tim's CD "Extremely Madeover".
Get Extremely Madeover and Full Range @ timhawkins.brushfireapp.com/s... - ตลก
Women in the audience: laughing
Men in the audience: taking notes
Exactly
😂
LOL😂
And those notes will be referenced until the end of time
I love song 🎶
Tim Hawkins: "Solo! **strums once** -- okay."
Hilarious!
he said 'a key' not okay as he only played one key
sandy xx Note. He played a note, not a key.
lmao i'm crying
*Hits one note**
The "your cooking is OK, but not like mother makes" line brings back memories, because I DID say that to my wife when we first got married 😂. I still get reminded 1-2 times/year- deservedly so.
So glad you're still alive, Jim 🙏
Yeah, you need to wait until your wife comes to that conclusion first
@reallyawesometitle7653 my thoughts exactly
That's the sort of comment you NEVER say to your wife, because she can always go nuclear with "yeah, but my ex's dick was bigger than yours, so I guess we've both had to make some sacrifices, right?" 😂
LOL
I bought my wife a grill once for Mother’s Day because that’s what she said she wanted. 30 years later I’m still getting reminded of it!!!
It’s what she asked for; how was I to know she didn’t really mean it???
And this is how women work XD she probably meant she wanted a grill, like, in general, not as an anniversary gift lol
People like that drive me crazy
Schatze Manly I’m staying single for as long as God allows.
Marshall Davis What?
Yep when wives ask for equipment around the house, they don't appreciate them as gifts for special occasions lol, because she needs that stuff anyway, and it's more for the family, not just for her, that's what I'm guessing.
best solo ever
+Dejomony Lemon doge....wut you doin here. you have a wife? , such suprise, much wife, so congrat.
wow
or it could be for a girlfriend
I know right, lad?
Greatest*
"Solo... Okay" - Tim Hawkins
Lol he did that right when I read this
he actually said "solo....... a key"
K
Solo...A KEY
SOLO! tink Okay
Played your song at my wedding when all the guys were walking in. Had more people laughing than i could count. Great job man! I come listen off and on and brings great memories and good laughs.
Hilarious! I would be laughing too!
What a Chad
@yotoland2543 same this song is great
Are you divorced now
Thats great
The solo still hit me so hard😂
"These are the things you don't say to your Wii"
I heard it to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol
I heard it right as I read this comment lol
David Abiyo sane aha
David Abiyo me too
I guess ima marry my wii?? Id rather it be my pc but ok
Tim Hawkins is a comedic genius
Jsnakeyes 21 he's a Christian Comedian
Jsnakeyes 21 Without a doubt!
If he was a genius he wouldn't have had to steal this song parody idea from Anita Renfroe...Renfroe does a few different songs in this style
Jsnakeyes 21 Without his musicianship, his act is nothing my college buddies and I didn’t do.
You know who else has done parodies like this Yankovic. But Tim is still a legend and deserves respect. He's one of two things I'm glad my ex introduced me to.
My wife once told me she wanted a "big-ass cheeseburger" for lunch. I said "just eat the cheeseburger, you already have the big ass" I have no idea what happened next.
She probably knocked you out...
🤦♀️🤣🤣☠☠☠☠
after waking up in the ER?
Perhaps I'm in an extraordinary position with my wife, but she takes comments like that from me as compliments.
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I'm going to play this at a wedding
Yes someone should
I don’t care who’s I’m just gonna play it
The likes are 69 NICE
Yes
looooool do it
*I can't believe this is 10 years old.*
And it hasn't aged in the slightest......
@@samsonsoturian6013 pog
@@Jirachi_OFFICIAL wut?
@@samsonsoturian6013 pog
That's the last time I had a physical long term relationship
He does an amazing job at sounding like Green Day (And just about every other band he's ever parodied)!
I played this at my Dad's funeral, and he woke up laughing his ass off!
Wife, speaking at husband's funeral, "It's so hard."
Husband (in coffin) "that's what she said!"
Bru.....seriously🙄
@@geraldfrost4710 lmao that just made my night thanks
🤨
Whoa whoa whoa, back up. How the hell you wake up dead?
“Your cooking is ok, but not like mother makes.”
That line would get me fucked up in a heartbeat.
My bf is probably the only man on earth who could say something similar and live - his father is the cook in their house. And I'd have a hell of a time outdoing that man on most dishes 😂
My only win here is that I make some dishes that he doesn't. HOORAY CULTURAL DIFFERENCES lol
“ my cooking is great but not like my mother’s “ - me
@@kp-fc4yr My wife was gettin fly with me once and said, “My moms cooking is better than your moms cooking, so HA!”
I replied, “Your moms cooking is better than your cooking.”
She’s still salty about that one hahaha
@@JakeNaughtFromStateFarm how are you even still alive 😂😂😂😂
@@kp-fc4yr Love? That and she knows I’m right 😂
I've been trying to teach myself that solo for years...can't quite get it. :)
You need to slow it down to see exactly what he's doing.
Are you saying "ok"?
@@zacharyalan4977
OMG That's what I've done wrong all these years trying to master that solo! Thank you
need the tabs
Don't feel bad, only Tim Hawkins and Yngwie Malmsteen (to an extent) can do it...
Tim is my favorite comedian. Clean side-splitting humor. This guys a genius.
10 yrs later and still pretty funny.
Whose watching in 2019.
Michael Benoit I just discoverd him
Michael Benoit me!
I still watch a lot of his videos
More so just found his stuff, 'least I'm watching multiple videos rn
2020 bro
So my wife complained that I never buy her flowers. WTF? I didn't even know she bloody SOLD flowers.
when i was 14 i gave my mom a packet of flower seeds for mothers day. she said it defeated the purpose and i explained to her that if i bought her seeds, they'd last much longer than flowers from a store. so i planted them and watered them and the pot turned into a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of springtime flowers that lasted until fall. for months the neighbors adored them. she told me multiple times that i was right: having flowers that you have to wait for to enjoy them for months is better than getting flowers from a store that will die in 2 weeks.
he knows he's hilarious, u can hear ill spots where he just can't help laughing
*lil
He's trying to laugh on purpose
Ace Artwork Productions llwmw
But he's not
That makes it even funnier 😅😂🤣
I played this at my brother's wedding. Everyone loved it.
There’s a story behind “I taped it over our old wedding video” I just know it
@CJ DUNROVIN I see he made the right choice then.
CJ DUNROVIN did you divorce him over the tape?
There was an episode of Everybody loves Raymond, where he taped a superbowl game over their wedding video.
I'm not sure if it's a reference to that, or if there is actually a real life story of someone actually doing that.
The Seinfeld throwback with this song... almost a tear.
Best solo ever
Love this guy! He's not afraid to be completely ridiculous. Good clean humor!
Yeah, someone said ‘he’s the church’s answer to weird Al’ (and obviously the reply section went straight to trashing any religion with a church) but I mean, clearly they haven’t heard ‘The Sound of Starbucks’ lol
My family went to one of his shows earlier this year, and my sisters and I screamed every single word to this song, and also the Chickfila song, and he called us out after the song and said "Shout out to the screaming girls in the back". Made my LIFE!!
No one else knew the song.....
What in the world? :p
I was fortunate enough to see him live, he is even funnier in person
"Solo!" *derp* "Okey."
*laugh*
Tim Hawkins was the first Stand-Up Comic I ever saw and I still think about how much he made me and my siblings laugh.
I would love for someone’s best man to play this instead of giving a wedding toast
dope sniper
alright if I ever end up being someone's best man then I will play this
one of the girls at my youth retreat sang this song infront of like 4,000 teenager and had all the male youth leaders come up to the front of the stage and stand there....it was amazing... all the leaders were bright red
My dad actually did buy my mom a treadmill. -.-
Natalie Huebner
they still married lol
Same
Your dad isnt afraid of death
Same
ur brave
Green Day should see this song
I bet they have
I want to see their reaction😂😂
Im here from green day
What song of this
Good riddance (time of your life)
Omg! I've already said more than half of those to my wife.. I should probably stop while I'm ahead (alive) 🤣
I love his in song commentary "Done that" with the wedding video and "Done that too" with the anniversary treadmill 😂
"Solo!" *Strums 1 note* "Okay"
So incredibly impressive solo Tim!
The first time I heard this was when I was in class,and I couldn't stop laughing! I was laughing so much that my head hurt alot! He is the best!
Words to live by
I wish I could give this a thousand thumbs up! I've been married for over 30 years and I wish my husband had had this song as a reference in the beginning! LOL
Can't get enough of this guy! Funny, clean stuff!
you don't say those things to ANY female if you want to live a long and happy life
thats true
So tru
so true
That's so true
yeah coz women are so strong and scary
Thank you, Mrs. Hawkins for the TREADMILL! Lol!
When my Dad got me a new treadmill, he said it was from Mrs. Hawkins………..… 😅😂❤ 🤣 ❤
Listen to the man he knows what he's talking about
i love this song. :) i saw him live a few years ago and he sang this. :) he forced everyone to sing with him even if they didn't know the lines. he's awsome. :)
Oh, this is a hoot!!! I've been down in the dumps worrying over problems and for a short time you made me laugh and smile. Thank you.
This NEVER gets OLD!! 😂😂
I know this clip is years old, but I've only just come across it by accident. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!! It gave me a REALLY GOOD laugh!!!!!!
Mercy, I hope you will or have played it at a wedding, because I think it'd be well received, NOT kidding!!!
1:37 I love the little pause. ♥
You gotta love his little dance moves in the beginning😂😂
*We need a 10 hour loop of this glory.*
His solo is the best one ever
I can't listen to this without laughing out loud
Exactly
I never knew before this video that I had Tim's same guitar talent. I could pay a solo as well!
I did buy my wife a top of the line nordictrack treadmill. For our 10 year anniversary. She loved it
I wish I would’ve listened to this song before I bought my wife a treadmill
Superfly Samoan rip 🔪
he did the choreography himself
nice job, hawkins! God bless =)
"Solo!" *twang* "Okie!"
Shelley Bee 🤣🤣
15 years later and I still remember this 😂
So many guys I know could stand to hear this
You are so funny!!! My family loves your music videos. We are waiting for you to do another one!!! Keep em coming, please!!!
OMG!!!!
I saw this whole concert today on tv and cried so hard that i cried!!!! LOL
i just loved it! he's amazing!
This song gets me everey time i listen to it. The "i planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday i didnt ask but i knew it be okay is HILARIOUS 🤣🤣
Guitar solo part is the best i ever heard😂😂
Tim this has to be one of your most brilliant songs!
this is exactly what i needed in 2020
-
im gonna cry tho he is so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣
'Stop talking because I'm trying to watch the game' is something my mother would say to my father.
So much talent in one person
This is greatness!!!
I actually saw him just the other day when he came... Nearly fell in the floor laughin!!!
This song cracks my friend and I every time we listen to it go
Timmmmmmmmmmm Hawkinsssssssssss!!!
My ex husband/his family have said so many many many horrible things. And have done so many horrible things to me since I first got engaged/married to their son many many many decades ago I Praise God for permanent divorce and absolutely no reconciliation ever!!!!!!!!/thank you Jesus for peace/closure. And thank you Jesus for my singleness:) And my brand new life of Joy:). And on June 9th 2023 my middle sister. And I graduated from high school 22 years ago so here is a quick shout out to all of our fellow classmates hey everyone it’s been 22 years since we all walked up that ramp. And got handed our diplomas by the high school Principal/his high school staff that day:) and we had our last pictures taken that day. And we got to say our final goodbyes and we got to listen to this song right before we walked off /left our high school campus behind permanently. And we definitely got to enjoy our grad parties I’m sure that we are all super super thankful that that time in our lives is very very behind us for sure!!:) and again my huge huge congratulations to us all of us the VV bulldogs class #2001 we did it!!!:)
So good to hear this song was on the radio yesterday! Love it!!
Omigosh, where have I been, not to have found Tim before now? I'm shouting with laughter here. My sister just showed me Atheist Bible Camp and Shortened Songs for ADD the other night. Must. Have. More. He's the best Christian musician/comedian I've seen since Mark Lowry.
Check out Yoga pants and Hey there Dlilah!!! Fell outta my chair with laughter!!
cognitogrrl Guitar Meltdown and My Arms Are Broken are pretty hysterical too!
My ex introduced me to Tim. No we didn't break up because he bought me a treadmill. I became a bit controlling and i gained weight and well I think part of us knew it had to end. Even a psychic I contacted said I'd have like so called one last visit and then the goodbye
All i gotta say is.....yoga pants.it will make u laugh everytime
I loved the guitar solo!
They don't say "Happy wife, happy life." for nothing.
Oh Yeah Absolutely Right Kirlen My Friend
Or Your Girlfriend Either One
I personally prefer the term happy spouse, happy house. Both partners should love and respect eachother and try to make eachother happy.
@@patriciabass9502 i came here to say the exact same! I love the happy spouse happy house
No wife, endless bliss.
WOOOOO. !!!!
I played this to my entire guitar class and they loved it 😂
these are step by step directions for a divorce i hope you know that
Happy anniversary I bought you a treadmill!!! this line (and the rest of the song) makes me laugh sooo much!!!
This is simply brilliant. I enjoy iy each time I hear it. Very good.
This is from 12 years ago? And I'm only finding you now...now that my HUSBAND divorced ME?
(Married 15 years).
Well, it's STILL FUNNY!
Thank you for the laughter, Tim Hawkins!
That solo melted my face off
Love that solo!
Dang!! How was this 11 years ago!! I watched this for the first time just a few days after it came out!! I feel old!! 😂😂😂
i love the music he choosesv for his songs. i can relate as they are all of my favorites.
First skit I saw advertised on cable and Tim Hawkins got me through a broken ankle for the rest of the year! Thank you brother! 👏😂
Absolutely banging I'm in tears laughing.. One cheers me up... And Tim love all your songs..please Keep safe and well.. You're so funny x
The solo’s the best part!
This advice is timeless 👌👏🙌
This man inspired me to start writing my own parodies!
Okay, so post a song!
Respond to this comment when you do, and I'll give it a listen.
I have shown video this to about 5 or 6 women and they laughed harder than I did.
Love that Solo
That solo was AWESOME
"SOLO! *doink* Ok!"
I WAS ROLLING!!!
Wow, this brings back SUCH good memories! As a little girl, I grew up in the late 2000s watching Tim Hawkins regularly. My family had a lot of his DVDs and we'd watch them on the weekends. In 2016 we had the great privilege of going to one of his shows. One of the BEST experiences of my life; my entire body hurt from laughing for more than THREE hours straight!! 🤣 Tim and his comedy will always hold a special place in my heart and memory of my childhood. ❤
This will never get old
I planed a hunting trip next week on your birth day, i didn't ask you but i knew it'd be OK, now go make some dinner while i watch this fishing show, i taped it over our old wedding video!!!!
Love it, from one guitarist to another. This is too funny
[Verse 1]
Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end?
That dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend
And where'd you get those shoes? I think they're pretty lame
Would you stop talking 'cause I'm trying to watch the game
[Chorus]
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don't say to your wife
[Verse 2]
I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you 'cause I knew it'd be okay
Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show
I taped it over our old wedding video
[Chorus]
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don't say to your wife
[Verse 3]
Your cooking is okay but not like mother makes
The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake
Your eyes look puffy, dear, are you feeling ill?
Happy anniversary, I bought you a treadmill
[Chorus]
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don't say to your wife
If you're a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife
These are the things you don't say to your wife
Thank you so much
Underrated
It’s weefe not wife
You forgot the solo
@@semblanceofmagic4760 okay!
I'm reliving this in 2021 and it's still just as brilliant
Brings me back to 9 years old...man have things changed.