Asking her daughter if she’s upset when she very clearly wasn’t. And then looking disappointed that she wasn’t upset just shows that she purposely wanted to hurt her.
I came into my in-laws with full hair and makeup done for a family wedding we were driving together, just needed my dress on (which was at the in-laws house already, known by everyone).. anyway, I walk in and she looks at me and says “well if you still need to shower I’ll bring a clean towel for you”. No I don’t need to shower, how nice of you though..
She is angry at Jen for bonding with Katie. Barb feels left out and insecure that she will be forgotten or replaced by someone else. Too bad her respones to these feelings end up making that a reality and not just a bad fantasy.
What breaks my heart the most is John and his reaction. He was the first to notice his mom’s reaction to Kate, to the closeness she had with Jennifer, you could see the anxiety in his face, he was practically bracing himself for the shitstorm that his mom was about to unleash. That kind of hyperawareness to the feelings of others comes from a lifetime of walking on eggshells around a toxic parent. I speak from personal experience, and it makes me want to give John a great big hug ❤
Yup! I lost my “John” aka my brother in 2007, he was killed. And going through life as an only child now sucks. At least having a sibling to help see when this stuff happens, and knowing when your parent is behaving like this, or even who protects you from them even just a little. Idk, it was different. Now it feels like I am fighting the war alone. It’s exhausting. I have had to go NC many times over the years, or at least LC many times. And it sucks, bc when you lose a part of your family, the remaining part of them feels like you want to cling to them even more. 💔 But a parent like this makes it impossible to breath.
New head cannon for Frank. Dude pays a lot more attention than people think. He's aware of everything. He's just incredibly shy and anti social and isn't good at expressing himself
He pays a lot of attention but doesn't speak up, cause Barb has worn him down. He disappears every time Barb acts up cause he can't stand to see it but can't stand up to her. He's become invisible cause Barb acts up so much that Frank ends up gone most of the time. He's not in denial, but, maybe in avoidance, cause he has to live with her still he keeps the peace by being absent from the conflict
This may not be a popular opinion, but his lack of response to Barb's awful behavior is a kind of tacit approval and even a kind of encouragement. As someone who had a mother like Barb, I sure would have benefitted from having a buffer as some protection, and even an advocate. Just sayin'.....
"the monster really liked that" and "shawna would be cackling with laughter right now" are hilarious and really sum up the amazing relationship they have grown
@@blobblub9424 when jen saw shawna at the beginning they were talking about how h*rny jen has been since the start of her 2nd trimester. something something something jen called her vajj 'the monster' LMAO
@@nicco7518 the crazy narcissist listens to half of what you're saying and decides they understand the secret unspoken parts. Then they get mad at you for lying to them when their imaginary scenario doesn't happen.
@goofyfurball7311 thought that might be, just wanted to double check. Sister is like that too, and would also say things that could be read multiple ways, so I tend to try and make sure.
Yep! My daughter did the same thing with her Grandmother. It’s super sad though when children realise they are behaving better than an adult! We are no contact now with my in-laws and and when we told our kids about it, they were so relieved as they had been done with her behaviour towards me for quite sometime, they just didn’t want to hurt their dad. My husband though has always stood up for me 💯 % of the time, but it’s always taken as I’m “making” him do it 🙄 Our lives have been much happier and stress free since! My husband said we should have done it years ago 😂
This has me in tears! Barb’s jab at Jen to twist the knife when she came back is the picture of a narcissist and I love Jen’s reaction- the only way to hold your footing with a narcissist is to starve the flame. They want you to blow up and get a big reaction out of you so they can spin things to make you seem crazy; the only way to respond is to give them nothing- no reaction- starve that flame! It’s a lesson we all learn the hard way.
I was hoping for a redemption arc but sometimes it really takes overthinking for people to manifest their own worst nightmare, Barb was so scared of being the last to know that she will forever be the last to know
My father was always the last to find out anything because of stuff like this. He literally cannot keep his mouth shut and is very narcissistic and emotionalky/mentally/verbally abusive. We have gone no contact tact with him recently becuz of his toxicity
I take it more as: realistically people who have made it that far in life to be aweful, simply don’t WANT to be good people. They genuinely don’t care who they hurt and they will immediately gaslight themselves into thinking they are the victim. It’s the reason they like meeting new people because it’s easier to manipulate folks who don’t yet realize they are insane.
The bit that gets me is that Frank is often a quiet bystander in the room when Barb is telling Greg how handsome he is and is essentially saying that her husband was never handsome, etc. The constant denigration of Frank has worn him down to the point that he is almost invisible. We need to liberate Frank!
johns sad ‘that’s nice’ after katie says she’ll get to dance with her son made me gasp. it’s such a shame that their mother is so self centred that she’s missing out on all these lovely moments she could have had with her children
We can relate. My MIL didn't come to our wedding, and in fact tried to stop it. So he didn't get to dance with his Mom. His wonderful Aunt stepped up and danced with my husband.
Oh, I clocked that one, too. We had a small wedding. And it was like pulling teeth to get his mother to even want to come, let alone participate. Even if we’d had a larger wedding? I can promise she wouldn’t have danced with her son.
I had to re-watch, and add another comment...Barb had *such a great opportunity* to become friends with Katie, with this sincere shared interest and as Jen said, "Your dream come true" but Barb was so blinded by jealousy, that she couldn't see it. It just is so sad, that even though she thinks so much of Greg, she was in her own hurt so deep, she couldn't see this gift for what it was. Shawna, your script-writing and acting is superb and I cannot thank you enough for sharing your gift with us!
A billion per cent agree re: Shawna's acting, writing and production skills; these videos are so good in part because her editing skills are AMAZING. Barb seems to be the kind of person who either has to be the hero or the villain, and since she couldn't out-hero Katie, she would be what her son predicted. But really, nobody wants to live with either a hero or a villain. We want to live with people who treat us like people (not like victims or enemies).
"She was in her own hurt so deep"... So true. I wonder what trauma Barb suffered in her earlier life to have become this way. She really needs therapy. But she also needs to see the error of her ways & WANT therapy & WANT to change. I had high hopes that she wouldn't ruin everything this time but of course she couldn't help herself.
Piggybacking off this, does anyone else feel so bad for Katie?? This is her first time meeting "the in-laws," and this is what happens! We don't know if Greg warned her about Barb, but that's still a very rough introduction. Especially considering Katie's extravagant gift may be her own kind of coping mechanism. Greg said his dad wasn't around, so maybe Katie began over-compensating by planning big experiences and gifts for him. So, her doing this for his fiance's family may be her way of getting them to accept her, even if it is a subconscious urge.
I don't think Barb knows how to handle being left out of the loop. She thinks not being let in on everything, let alone not being the first to know, is her being lied to. I am really curious about Barb's upbringing
I almost feel a little bad about the joy that filled my petty heart that Barb won't get the night out to see the Nutcracker. I hope Frank goes and has a gruffy good time.
The two situations are a wonderful contrast that fully illuminates the situation. On the one hand, u destined Barb and helping her feel appreciated would be huge in her development. She and Frank are in a relationship where their dysfunctions (I would guess avoidant vs anxious attachment as part of it) pair in a way where each makes the other worse…. A core part of Barb’s ravenous desire to have ALL the love and attention is probably that she is starving for it in her marriage, whereas Frank has experienced so much emotional abuse and vicarious embarrassment that he just withdraws further and further, and his “Boomer guy” domestic laziness, probably worsened by Barb giving him the sense he does everything wrong, makes the whole thing worse. So….treating Barb with care, consideration, inclusion, appreciation…that’s huge for her. On the other hand, if you are a very very grown ass adult, and you still need to be gentleparented through every moment of your life, or else you viciously lash out like this? It is absolutely time to put on your big girl panties, take a modicum of personal responsibility, and get into therapy. What we just saw was so extreme. From here, we either go into “I need help” or “I complain to strangers at the senior center about my cruel ungrateful children who have gone low to no contact with me purely because evil people have stolen them and my grandkids away, and my lack of self awareness is awkwardly visible to everyone” It’s a terrible place to be
@@melissasaint3283 Barb would be watching estranged parents TH-cam channels saying random things to excuse herself from her role in the kids going no contract. Shawna won't allow no contact so its probably going to be low contact.
She will find a way on spinning it on the others. Its what narcissists do. She will call probably shawna because she is bad with boundaries and whine about how cruel Jennifer was to her and how ignorant Greg was. They will find a way to never take accountability. How to spot a narcissist? It's always the others, never themselves.
that was a fast 11:03 minutes... I need more lol 😊Oh my goodness I cried when Barb did that. It breaks my heart to see her do that to Jennifer...and yes I know it's a skit but Shawna has such an amazing way of bringing everyone to life. You forget that it's her playing all the parts. I'm happy Frank let Barb have it in his own way.
Right? I feel so emotionally attached to these characters, even Barb to a certain extent. Shawna does such an incredible job personifying complex behaviours in a way that we can empathize with and understand why Barb acts this way while also easily agreeing she's wrong for lashing out. I really hope she's able to learn to do better so she can fully be in her family's lives, but this is going to be hard to recover from.
At first, I thought Barb was just reacting and not thinking about what she was saying but then seeing her literally calculate the response to make it pointed. Just unreal... I'm so glad you posted the whole thing so I didn't have to leave on that cliffhanger for a couple days!
Yeah like if only I could go back and rewatch my own family interactions a few times because in the moment it’s just emotional whiplash and then afterwards I don’t remember it clearly and I wonder if I misunderstood or try to give it the benefit of the doubt
To be honest, I really don't want Barb to have a redemption arc. It's nice when fictional characters experience growth but its unrealistic that every person can be saved from themselves. Irl, most people like Barb do not change. These skits are a perfect depiction of dealing with having a mother/mil like Barb and imo letting her redeem herself will take away from the beautiful story @ShawnatheMom has written. We got our redemption arc in Jennifer. Some characters are just meant to be the villain. I hope everyone goes LC and then maybe Jennifer and Greg go NC. It'd be nice to see them portray the struggle of cutting off someone you care about and resisting the temptation to let them back into your life because "I miss having a mom" but having to remember that the one that life dealt you will never be capable of being an actual mom to you, she's only capable of dishing out hurt and disappointment.
The Barbs of the world really never have a redemption arc. My own Barb has alienated all her children, save the "perfect child". Barb will have nice moments but more and more ugly ones. She'll never be redeemed.
i went nc with my mom for 2 years. i only resumed because she went into the hospital and i was asked to help with the animals. we have a long road ahead but hopefully, god willing, we can walk it together. i missed her terribly but my own mental health must come first. she is fully aware now that im capale, but will pull the door shut if i need too. i cry writing these words because its going to be a forever struggle.
Your response is totally valid and if barb does get the redemption arc, then the drama we love would get boring because she is the cause of it. I still want the redemption arc though. I like seeing people learn and improve. But also hope Shawna ignores my want because it might not work for the story and I don't want this resolved too quickly.
If it’s like mine, it’s because she has built up this public persona of being so wonderful. It’s only at home that her true self comes out. Which, granted, is something that you have to have lived to understand. And the sense that I was betraying her by sharing this information was so strong that I almost didn’t post this.
@@preceptgalI feel this so much. But as another survivor said it this year "let's put the shame where it belongs". Its not your guilt you're feeling right now. It's hers. You aren't guilty. You never were. You are enough. You are lovable. Even if she made you feel otherwise. It's hard to put into words because THATS WHAT THEY WANT. They want you to stay silent, to carry the shame and the guilt. I am so proud of you to speak up! And with mine, it even only came out at times where it could profit her. Like, even at home she pretends to be all defensive and avoidant but she sits with a smile while the chaos plays out and she gets to be the Saint. It's so hard to describe. I understand and I see you.
yeah, cathartic - thanks! now I know why I love watching these skits (apart from the great acting that makes me absolutely forget that it is all one !! person playing this) ... I had a secret wedding, just my husband and me - even though I would have liked to have my whole family present, but I just knew my mom would make it all about herself and walk over every boundary set by either me or him. oh how much I still had to learn back then, 17 yrs ago.
@@michaelabrown9958 my teens are like that with my mom. They love her but they don't feel the same obligation that I do. I may encourage a little, but I don't force communication or interactions.
I have to say I really appreciate that Jennifer is maturing but still very Jennifer 😂 "Do you really think I would turn down a party whose theme is literally 'All Eyes On Jennifer'?" Gold hahaha
She’s so real for that 😂 having that much attention would be a total nightmare for me but there’s something weirdly admirable about someone who loves that attention and is self-aware about it.
But what is so great is Shawnas acceptance of that. The idea that Jennifer wants to be the center of attention and Shawna knows her well enough and loves her enough to celebrate that. Even Jennifer sees it as a sign of love. Acceptance, without boundary violations, is a gift. Especially after having Barb as a mother.
Wait? It was the same person doing all the characters? Now I need to rewatch it 😂 I totally get what you mean though the way she can change and make each character unique but relatable is amazing 👏
you can see the peace in Jen’s eyes. Not just that she’s ready for forever with Greg, but that she’s finally let go of the expectation that her mom will change. she’s free.
yea yea and you can tell john has been in the same situation too! he says "she needed to see it," cos it really takes that one moment and this was it for jennifer
@@jadeyu7197Possibly with whatever happened at his own wedding (note his reaction to the mother-son dance comment. Did she not show? Behave badly towards Shawna? Refused to dance? Wore a white dress?)
Deedee and Katie will be more than enough to make up for barbs hopeful absence. Also, very glad to see that although he isnt very present, Frank also sees Barb and all her nastiness ALSO ALSO love the lil daughter in all her autonomy shes my favorite
Jonathan's "That's nice" after Katie says "I get to dance with my son" was genuinely masterful. Obviously Jonathan never got his Mother-Son dance and is going through the hyper-drive 5 stages of grief experience, feeling everything at once but arriving at acceptance within seconds because even though it still hurts, it isn't holding him back anymore and now it has morphed into stage 6, pity for the other person.
SAME!! Thanks to a comment on Facebook that said “I watched the full video on TH-cam” I figured out she has a TH-cam channel with full videos! How has I been missing this whole time?!
Whoa. Tears literally sprang to my eyes when Frank got Greg’s attention and nodded. Everyone supporting them… And the tears in Greg’s eyes. Thank you!! And thank you for this Christmas gift!!!
Right? Kind of wonder if that wasn't the last straw for him and the beginning of the end. She literally just took the surprise and joy of the proposal away from their daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law (or tried to), just because she was mad and feeling left out because their daughter JUST HAPPENED to end up having an important moment when Barb didn't happen to be there. Like, what the actual fuck, Barb?! You allegedly love your daughter; you apparently like Greg and think he's good for her; this was EXPLICITLY and OBVIOUSLY done SOLELY TO HURT THEM BOTH. A MUCH better reaction would be to thank Katie for being there to look after your baby girl when she was having such a stressful moment, and being relieved that she's got somebody else to count on when your aren't available. You could have had an ALLY. But noooOOOo. Fuck you, Barb. And I'm calling it now: this is the beginning of the end for her marriage, as well as of the kids going low to no contact. Well done, Shawna! Great writing, acting, editing, everything! And thanks for the fantastic Christmas present! Merry Christmas! :D
I love how John got the cookie for their daughter, great way to show your child that you support them, without making a song n dance about it. Both parents verbally set a behavioural expectation with Barb, their kid their parenting rules essentially, Barb repeatedly didn't listen. So they found another way around it and supported their kid in the process, without making their kid feel bad either. That's two kids who know they're loved, safe and respected. Who'll grow up to be like Shawna, John, Gregg and I suspect Jen by the time her baby is grown. Good use of family dynamics to show how one child, often the golden child, can grow to mimic the narc parent but is still able to learn and change in adulthood. And the one narc who opts to stubbornly stay the selfmade victim of their actions and decisions. Barb is gonna be solo at this rate and it'll be her fault. Sad but true, and so deserved if she wont take accountability and make amends. My last straw with my mother was years after it should've been, I gave that woman way too many chances over the years (though saying that, hindsight is always a far clearer view than foresight, i can be very self critical and angry with myself for letting people hurt my family far longer than I should have, so I have to remind myself about the difference tween foresight and hindsight alot lol). We'd fled my ex, my kids dad, then when he found us social had to move us across country and there I decided to kept our new address secret, from everyone I could still call friend or family after my ex pushed most away during the marriage. But I suspected mum had been the one to tell him where we'd been hiding (as pay back for a long conversation we'd had that week about if she wanted to be in my kids lives moving forward, after everything she'd done to me growing up and everything their dad put them through, then I'd need some very firm clear boundaries, which we talked through during the chat much to her chagrin but she agreed to most of my terms and I compromised on some aspects too, I was determined to be firm but fair (like I wanted monthly catch ups she wanted weekly but I wouldnt compromise on her being supervised by me with my kids, things like that)) but couldn't prove it so didnt feel I had the right to fully cut contact then based on an unfounded hunch. So to be safe I told no one our new address, didnt give my number out to anyone and used burner phones for the first year until we were out of the refuge and rebuilding out life in our new town. Especially I was very firm with my mum cos I knew she was toxic but was so scared that I wasn't good enough alone for my kids, thought that they had to have some extended family else I'd damage them (my biggest fear is turning out like my mum). So let my mum keep talking to me kids weekly via the phone with my supervison and clear boundaries (she didnt have my number, I'd ring her once per week so kids could talk to her on loud speaker). Plus a meeting once per year in a neutral city centre, for cinema and meal. At the first of these meet ups, while we were having a lovely reasurant lunch, my mum (who knew most of what my ex did to kids n me, she definitely knew enough to know why my kids were terrified of their dad). Like John I knew something was amiss, she was too happy, too relaxed, to bubbly for her normal self, I figured maybe she had something planned to upset me later on or that just maybe she was just putting on a show cos of the fancy public venue but I knew something was off with her, half expected my ex to pop around the corner any second. Now in hindsight I can see that she was likely testing the boundaries I'd set, seeing if I was as commited to them as I said I was. But seemingly randomly off topic she said, performatively loudly mid meal, to my eldest (then 5) "you'll have to keep out of the sun young lady, we don't want to end up looking like your dad now do we" and belly laughed but with her smirk I'd seen too many times growing up, she knew what she was doing (I'm white, kids dad isn't). Like the tables near us all went quite, jaw dropped, looking at us. My daughter looked worried immediately, asking me "is that true mummy? I'm not like dad am I?" I reassured her, told her what grandma just said was very racist, inappropriate and grossly untrue, that she's nothing like her dad, she's her own unique person. Same for both of them, cos my son was also getting upset too by this point, largely cos my mum started shouting that it was just a joke, I was being too dramatic, trying to gaslight us. I mostly ignored her, trying to reassure kids and started getting their coats on. Then when others started coming to our defense, mum started doubling down on her comment, saying she was trying to "do the kid a favour" and divulging some of the details of abuses we'd suffered from their dad in that public venue. I ignored her, flagged a staff member and asked for the bill to be split, told kiddos that were gonna go back to the hotel now and no more seeing Grandma. Kids didnt argue, my son all but jumped into his pram coat half on bless him. Multiple staff approached, with other customers, trying to shut mum up and they refused to let me pay. People were physically acting as a barrier tween mum n us now, cos she'd started grabbed my kids hats and gloves so I couldn't put them on my kids. I left without the items, had more in the suitcases at the hotel anyway. I was working so hard to stay calm for my kids who'd started crying by this point (youngest was 3 btw, so 3&5 and only a year since we'd left their dad, and all the drama of that year, they were understandably shaken) and the anxiety of it all meant I kept missing the buckles on the pram for son, so I gave up (I'd fix it once away from the situation), picked my daughter up and moved her to my back (an automatic thing I used to do when married so I was tween her and protential danger, didnt even realise I'd done it til after we left the restaraunt and far enough away that I could stop to sort the pram out) but I somehow had just enough mental capacity to realise that for my kids to ever get past their fear of the world (cos while everyone approaching meant well, it was still scary to be suddenly surrounded by angry strangers, even if that anger isnt aimed at you), not just their dad, they needed to see me stand up to my mum in this public place where all I wanted to do was disappear. So just before we left, as calmly and clearly as I could muster, i said "we're done mum. I made it very clear that I'll never let anyone hurt my children again. And I made you personally aware that I'd not let you treat my children the way you've treated me my whole life. There are no more chances." And with that we left, to sodding claps as we were leaving, that again meant well (and in hindsight was truly beautiful) but at the time made me feel sick, too many eyes on us for my comfort lol (I'm happy to deal with conflict these days but back then I was still a mess myself so woefully unprepared for that situation). Never seen her since. I did make the mistake of ringing her during lockdown, when I heard that a family member died in the first wave, I had everyone telling me how insensitive I was being (she's your mum, you only get one mum, maybe she's sorry, yadda yadda). So when kids were safely in bed I rang her to give my condolences and immediately she was telling these weirdly and wildly elaborate lies (about things that were currently illegal or extremely expensive during lockdown, about other people she didn't know I was still in touch with, about my sibling whom I'm not in touch with cos alas unlike Jen they're still very much under mums control so not safe for us either) and doing her usual woe is me BS. But I'd grown, kept calm, just didnt give fuel to her fire. Told her I rang to gave her my condolences, not listen to more lies, clearly she hadn't changed any, gave my condolences then hung up. Never spoken to her since, and I'll never let anyone make me feel bad for cutting her out either. Second best thing I ever did for kids n me, first best being leaving their dad (wish I'd done that alot sooner too but again, hindsight. I know logically if I'd left sooner I probably wouldn't have been strong enough to stay free of him, and thus protect my kids long term. When someone else has been doing your thinking and controlling every aspect of your life for so long, it takes a while to filter out their BS in your head and find your footing - though I'm sure it really angers him that in his teaching me how to stand up to my mum (she had alot of mental and emotional control over me at the start of if our marriage), how to set boundaries and say no to her, he inadvertently taught me how to stand up to him too lol). 😂 Shawna's so kind and empathetic, but Jen will drop Barb like a mouldy spud the second a disparaging remark about her baby comes outta Barbs mouth. And justly so.💜
I loved this segment, but it was so sad. Some people just cannot see that they are the ones sabotaging their own happiness. I know this is just a story, but it hits home so hard. I know people just like Barb. It’s just so sad.
Sadly there's WAY too many people of that generation who behave like that, & feel like everyone just has to deal with it because that's who they are. It's fantastic that they all walked out on Barb. I only wish Frank could've gone with them! 🥺
@ericachacon8337 In someways you feel sorry for him because his wife is the reason he is missing out on actually being part of his kids special moments however this was the same man who watched his daughter and wife treat his sons partner and the mother of his grandkids like crap and did not call it out either.
@@ericachacon8337 Unfortunately there are people of every generation who are like that. I think as they get older it shows more and they get emboldened by getting away with it for so long....so it probably gets worse. And, becomes normalized which is sooo bad. 😢 Hopefully more of the younger generations will nip this behavior in the bud and put down boundaries which will either force those people to stop the behavior...or miss out on family and friends. It is so toxic to everyone.
@@ericachacon8337 Not just that generation we have to remember that growing up wasn't easy for them either. For example my mom grew up being told she was unwanted by her own mother because she's the result of my grandfather forcing himself on my grandmother.
@@Geekabibble This like my cousin is like this and what for. To gain the love attention and even having his mom defend his actions. I've seen more people in my family including myself hurt by that dynamite his actions.
jeez, barb really did shit the bed w this one. that was probably the worst thing she’s ever done and i’m glad they all held true and left her to think about what she’d done and didn’t let her come. she deserved that. frank sealed the deal, too. great episode!!!!
@kiwigirlNZ This gave me a flashbavk of doing a weekly book review along with vocabulary words in elementary school. - Read every few chapters each week. Do the necessary work. If needed I would skip more chapters. Only reading the first couple of pages of those chapters. - Even though I didn't read all the pages, the work I did implied I did. I spent a little more time for the final chapter. This was before the internet and bluebook versions of books. I despised reading until my freshman year. "Clockwork Orange" was my maiden voyage into the infinite space of sci-fi.
@@kiwigirlNZno offense but the comments are for discussing the happenings in the video lol. You really shouldn’t look if you don’t want to know what’s happened
I’m shocked at how invested I am. I can’t wait for the follow up. I’m absolutely fiending for Barb to find out they all (including Frank) went to The Nutcracker and dinner at the Ritz without her.
My jaw LITERALLY dropped and I had to pause the video. I saw the short of Barb and Frank and Greg discussing the proposal earlier and I was so excited for a happy moment and then THIS?! Ain't no way Barb is getting back into the life of her daughter and perhaps even her son and grandkids without some SERIOUS work and therapy.
THERAPY is the only redemption arc that’s going to fix this woman and heal their family. Everyone has given her their time and their tears and it’s meant nothing to her. At some point, it’s up to the abuser to take responsibility for their own behavior and the hurt they have caused everyone else by daring to trust her and hope things could ever be different. I can’t even imagine how much she must have terrorized John and Jennifer when they were just children, looking for someone to love and protect them unconditionally. Barb isn’t just quirky and out of touch; she has some RECKONING to do. Much love to all the families out there who have experienced anything similar, I know your numbers are heartbreakingly many. 😭 And if this BARB of a person won’t step up and truly rectify the place they’ve taken their relationships, it’s okay to let go of the fairytale that someday they will, and to No Contact so you can have some real and lasting peace in your life. Merry Christmas, folks. Goodwill to you all. 😔
Barb is the villan, but poor Frank is caught in the cross hairs beside her. In the fallout of this Christmas, I hope he wakes up from his stupor and steps up loudly for his kids. Also, Shawnas daughter being super skeptical of Grammy?? Delightful
Ok but jennifer and Greg's sidebar about how they're feeling post-barb-shitting-the-bed made me cry! Jen's worry about greg being stuck with her was so real, and his response was so loving, and the 'shawna would be cackling' showing how far their relationship has improved, and the fact that he just had to ask because the love was so big in that moment i just 🥹🥹🥹 And on a separate note i love that shawna's daughter hates grandma barb's vibes out the gate, she has her pegged and is already sick of her crap as a toddler 😂
@@Min-vq3kq😢 I hope not, but my days of giving Barb the benefit of the doubt are quite possibly maxed out at this point. I just hope Shawna Junior is super observant, and not wise from her own personal experience.
8:59 this moment right here was so special, idk how u captured the magical little bit of knowing and sharing a wonderful secret with the ones you love, but it was perfect!
Kids are freaking perceptive. They can read a room like no adult I have ever known. Which is why I have been/am hyper aware of body autonomy. My kids are adults but have never been forced to give/accept physical affection. Any physical interactions with other adults have been fully on their terms. I offer children hi fives, but *any* physical interactions are fully instigated by the kids themselves.
Barb reminds me so much of my own mother whom I went NC this year. The finally straw was my wedding. We (my partner and I) had been planning it for two years and my mother showed little to no interest that her last daughter was finally getting married. I kept her in the loop and was even having the ceremony in the state she (and my sisters) lived in to make it easier on her. With my other sisters she was overly involved but with me, I feel like she kept quiet because she was worried I would ask for money. I still told her everything even if she was not listening, sent pictures of locations, and updated her with dates/times etc. I even invited her and my sisters to a wedding dress try on, which served drinks and snacks. She showed up 1 hour late to a 2 hour time slot. The last two months prior to the wedding, she asked "So what are the plans for the wedding?" I was like "What do you mean? It is happening on X date at X time at X place. You just need to show up. What else is there to know?" She responds with "No, what are the plans FOR ME for the wedding?" I was like "???? What?" Turns out my mother wanted to walk me down the aisle, to stay at the airbnb that myself, my partner and several of our wedding party were staying at (She lived within driving distance and we didn't have any other room for people), wanted to get ready with the wedding party, wanted to get her hair done with me (of course with the assumption I was paying), wanted to bring her dogs to the wedding, and asked me what she should wear to it. I told her No to all of those things. She told me and I quote: "Oh, so this is about you having your little time with your friends and having a popularity contest huh?" The logic behind it. Yes, mother. My wedding day is about me and my partner and celebrating us. Not you. The logic! The entitlement!
oh man. im glad you didnt put up with her BS. you did the most mature things, trying to keep her involved even though she was not present at all, then she tries to take advantage of your special day. great job handling this, i hope the wedding went amazing!!
@@carlenedonovan I doubt it. We are going on 7 months no contact. FYI, she also blames me for my dad’s death. My dad passed away of a massive pulmonary embolism over four years ago. I was the one doing CPR until EMS arrived. It was quite traumatizing for the family but she refuses to get any kind of therapy. At this point, she’s been like this my whole life. My sisters cannot even tell my mom they are traveling places because she gets major FOMO and gets angry at everyone for it. I don’t expect the Zebra to change her stripes anytime soon. But realistically what I want is not an apology but her to get intense therapy.
Lord have MERCY! I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. I'm glad you're doing what you can to protect your peace and surrounding yourself with family {by blood or chosen) who love and support you! ❤@@brittanymchaffie7604
As an adult, I am constantly silently rebuking myself when some every day bit if business slips out to my own mother. It happens so easily because I didn't notice as a kid that, like Barb, those everyday life bits of business very frequently get turned around and used against me and mine. The jealousy is over the top too. When I gave birth my mother called a cousin I was estranged from, and told that cousin that I'd had a baby, and so that cousin came to the hospital. Not out of an attempt to create unity. But because my husband's family is close knit, where my family isn't, so it was a competition thing. I never would have thought seeing my own mother's behavior in a skit, would feel so validating. I'm not alone...
You aren't alone, I too walk the same fine line as you. Trying to give enough info so that she thinks she's "involved" in my life, but not so much that she's causing chaos. Over the summer I had a busy few weeks and OMG! I didn’t talk to her for a few days. My sister was also unavailable so mother dearest decided that NoBoDy LoVeS hEr and stopped taking her insulin, blood pressure, and anti-depression for the week. She narrowly escaped a trip to the ER and she got her damn attention she wanted so badly. 🙄 Anyways, not alone.
Totally not alone. I'll tell you what, that was such a turningpoingin my healing journey from a narcissistic mother. When I learned that other people do understand me. Cause most of society doesn't and it makes u feel crazy and so lonely, questioning yourself. My hearts with you and I understand you! (They are just demons)
@@AmandaShook-wx1kt Thank you, for commenting back. It's funny you mentioned society, because I still lie so much, and omit so much out of my conversations with other people, when talk shifts to my mother. To try to cover for her odd, erratic, unexplainable behavior. Society has one idea of Mothers, and there are so many different versions in real life.
Information is currency in my mother's family. The most benign comment (IE I had a mammogram on Tuesday) will go across the world as something scary that is happening to my mother (or HER daughter might have cancer). My little family went LC when we decided to stop feeding the gossip mill.
I made a comment and it didn’t capitalize her name, and it occurred to me what the definition of a “barb” is: “a sharp projection near the end of an arrow, fishhook, or similar item, angled away from the main point so as to make extraction difficult.” So it stabs you and you can’t pull it out. Another definition of “barb” is “a biting or pointedly critical remark or comment.” Sometimes the name just works out.
It may not be the proposal he expected, but sometimes it’s the unexpected that are the most memorable down the road. Jen got her proposal, the family still celebrated, and Barb got put in her place. Shawna playing all parts is amazing 🤩
I knew when Jen was all snotty and red faced, but taking that deep breath and composing herself so beautifully that Greg was going to take one look at her and realize he didn't want to wait one more second.
Dee dee foreshadowing at Thanksgiving about barb pushing people away because she's so scared of being left out was great. It seemed like barb was making some slow progress then, but completely reverted back and then some once another loved mother figure stepped onto the scene. I hope that after sitting in her loneliness on Christmas after being called out for her heartless behavior she will think about DeeDees words to her and maybe have a breakthrough. Deep down barb is a broken and insecure person who just wants to be loved and included, but she has let that turn her into a monster that will beget the exact thing she is afraid of. Hopefully she will realize that. I'd like to see the family encourage her to see a therapist after this. A barb therapy arc could be really great as part of a redemption arc. Great job as always shawna! I love following your stories.
It was nice to see a turn around for Barb during the Thanksgiving arc, but I always suspected she would regress because she never actually apologized to Jen for ruining her baby shower. It's sad that Barb sometimes feels excluded or underappreciated, but she never considers that sometimes... you're going to be excluded from things. Or that she's guilty of doing the same thing to others.
Barb is incapable of the introspection required to make those changes. People like Barb see the emotional discomfort brought on by admitting her wrongdoing as an existential threat. Until she can move through that kind of negative emotion and see things get better on the other side, she will never be able to mature to the point of having the relationships she desires so badly.
I came from Facebook, first time watching it all on TH-cam, I am SO hooked. I’ve been watching your videos since before Jennifer’s redemption arc. The way I don’t even notice how it’s you playing all of the characters, you play them all PERFECTLY. Never stop doing these please they are great, so entertaining and heartfelt!
Barb just HAD to make sure it was all about her (disappointment)...couldn't just sit it out...or go rearrange the cookie tray. And making the kids ask nicely for cookies at a family gathering??? C'mon. Barb's the LAST person to be forcing 'etiquette' on anyone. Shawna...YOU ARE TOP NOTCH at this!!! Brava!!! Bouquet of flowers, standing ovation and multiple curtain calls on this one. :)
I can imagine how much hard work is put into these videos. I am well invested and appreciate the storyline and characters. You have got quite the talent. This has been the best one yet.
the way greg never said when he was gonna propose yet barb just assumed it’d be on christmas and then called him a liar when it looked like it wouldn’t be
Love that they all held Barb accountable and moved Christmas elsewhere. Also loved Jennifer not letting Barb see that she's upset. Congrats Jen and Greg! ✨🌙💛✨
MAN I KNEW GREG SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED BARB 😭 but honestly, good for Frank for saying something at the end!!! And I'm so glad that Greg reassured Jen he's in love with her, and the happy ending more than made up for what we expected Barb to do. Absolutely beautiful.
I think Greg was trying to show Barb that he wants to involve her and trust her. It's like he was giving her another chance after the baby shower debacle. But Barb blew it and just as with the shower Greg stood up for, defended, and protected Jennifer. Beautiful ❤
@@lorrieoiler1878 I think that after Thanksgiving we were all really hoping for a redemption arc for Barb, but honestly having someone who's exactly like her in my life, I'm not at all surprised that she did this 🥺 because she would have REALLY needed to want to be better.
Not the main point, but i really like how Jen said "Shawna would've cackled w laughter at that" - just shows you how close Jen and Shawna are! I dont wanna say that she thought of Shawna during this very emotional moment, but that she mentioned an inside joke between them like this when shawna isn't there just makes me really happy.
I really liked the shorts, but the full video has a way bigger impact on how well they've done to stand up to Barb. Family issues are always a delicate thing to deal with. Toxic family members are the worst, but they are family. So it's hard to decide, if it's better to cut them off or hope to work with them to make things better. I guess, it depends if the fam-memb in question is willing to work or not. But I trail of, I guess. Great video, great message and I'm so happy for Jen and Greg. And Katie is such a sweety pie.
I am way too invested in all of this. This was incredible. In ten minutes I went from elated to so nervous to shocked out of my mind to horrified to straight elation again and “suck it Barb” to peace again. Shawna. You’re killing me. You can’t keep doing this to us….except you can. Please don’t ever stop this series.
My take on this situation. It seemed to be one of those, "everyone got caught up in the moment" and so missed the intial signs of Barb regressing. Therefore, there wasn't a way to correct. Barb was super excited about knowing a secret. Then, when everyone started complimenting Katie as a good mom, the return of the feeling, "Im not a good mother." Started to rear up. It was slightky diminished when it was just the Nutcracker tickets, but then the rest of the present led to the lashing out. John did notice after the initial burble died down, but also still didn’t full get that it wasn’t just that Katie was the first to find out about the pregnancy. To be clear, NONE of what I just said is making an excuse for Barb. Barb lashed out as she does, but it wasn’t /just/ because of spite. It was from pain and guilt and she wanted others to feel the same. She 💯needed that final reaction from everyone leaving. I'm so glad the proposal still happened and that Barb was too wrapped up in her "I am hurt and therefore everyone should be hurt" that she missed it. Love these skits so much and how much depth is being added to these characters.
Yeah, I was actually feeling really bad for Barb as point after point was made praising Katie and Jennifer made it very clear how much she sees her as a mum and how wonderful a mum she thinks she is. I actually even felt it crossed a little into insensitive towards Barb. The subtext "you're s much better mum than Barb" was actually there, rather than Barb fabricating it. But that in Jo way excuses the awful thing Barb did
@jaycievictory8461 DeeDee is Shawna's mom. Katie is Greg's mom. It's even harder as we almost had a redemption arc with Barb after Thanksgiving. But there wasn't e ough of a change from Barb...
@Kaladelia Thanks, changed it! Yeah, I really liked the Thanksgiving episode. But I also really liked how DeeDee identified how much Barb had done to host Thanksgiving I.e. recognised and praised all her unpaid labour. And I found myself wondering how often John, Jennifer and Frank recognised how much she did, or if it was taken for granted. Again, they have good reason to be wary/distant/disinclined to praise Barb, but I like the nuances I think Shauna is drawing
I agree and disagree. Barb likes the attention on her, and can’t handle when she’s not the center. For many of the reasons you mentioned, but even before Greg and his mom showed up she was so heavy handed with the hints that I was surprised no one started putting two and two together. Greg went to her with a special secret and Barb was trying to make a point that she knew a special surprise and let the cat out of the bag, without letting the cat out of the bag, before she actually did...let the cat out of the bag, lol. Barb was afraid that Greg’s mom would have that “special moment” of the proposal being at an event planned by her, instead of by Barb herself, so she deliberately made sure that no one would have that “special moment.” It was a very cruel move.
@jordie6688 that is also true. I do think though that she would have kept the secret u til Greg proposed, unless something else triggered the jealousy. But the desire to know a secret, but not say is also bad. Her joy at being told the secret was more that no one else knew (except Frank) and that not that Greg was going to propose and Je nifer would be happy. While she was happy he was going to propose, the joy was more focused on the secret and that he might propose while at her house. I think someone else had commented this, but it was also a way for her to use it later if the proposal happened at her house. She could say forever, "remember that time Greg proposed to you..."
Your acting skills (and editing skills!) are phenomenal!!! Wow. Just… Wow! You know you’re a good author when you can capture and manipulate the emotions of your audience flawlessly. I always enjoy your videos/shorts.
I've thoroughly enjoyed everything you've done, but this Christmas video is the best work you've done to date. It was so uplifting and a wonderful story. I've especially enjoyed watching the growth & maturation of Jennifer and in this episode I saw that Frank isn't standoffish, stoic or uninvolved, he's just quiet and soft spoken. Good work. May you continue for many years to come.
I immediately "ran" to the longer version as I didn't want to miss Frank's brilliant one line sentence that flattened Barb! Shawna, may I say that your character development and acting is first rate! Is there an award for these things!? Barb's competition that she has with Jennifer is really unnerving. How she wanted to be happy when she felt that she had made Jennifer upset is all sorts of nastiness, cruelty, and selfish. My goodness...Who the hell hurt her!?
barb is a self fulfilling prophecy. i know its just you wearing different costumes but ive never wanted to jump through a screen and scream at someone SO BAD
Was just thinking that. Shawna does such a good job of raising the stakes and keeping them there and making us all root for all of them. Not to mention creating such distinct characters!
WHY AM I LITERALLY CRYING?? Shawna, you have NAILED IT once again! Barb literally does not learn and some people are just like that. And to think I was literally rooting for her... And now Jennifer and Greg are getting MARRIED!! AAAAAAAA OHMYGOSH I'm SO EXCITED!! Jen really REALLY changed for the better (thanks to Greg and motherhood LOL) and I'm so proud of her development. And Katie seems like THE BEST mother-in-law to have!! Feel bad for Greg on that part lol. Best Christmas ever!! Seriously though, your acting is AMAZING and I am WAY too invested in this series now. No turning back!
The little one refusing to say a word to her Grandma Barb until the very end with a very happy "Goodbye Grandmother" 😂😂😂😂 I love all of it but I really love all those little details. Wow this was so good & so relatable. I watched the TH-cam Shorts, but seeing it all put together really sheds some emphasize on how everyone was feeling.
Actions have consequences. This series needs to be shown, as a masterclass in dealing with people, narcissists specifically. You are an amazing writer and actor. Thankyou.
I can't believe how invested I am in this I'm literally crying by the end 😭😭 I'm SO proud of how far you've come with these skits and characters and how amazing you are at bringing life to people ALL PLAYED BY YOU!! Thank you for this 🙏😭❤️
I knew things were gonna go off the rails when Barb found out Greg's mom was there when Jennifer found out she was pregnant. 😬 I LOVE that Barb faced real consequences for her actions.
I'm so disappointed in Barbs choices. I really hope being alone on christmas puts perspective on things. Oh my god Shawna you killed this Christmas special!! Extremely well done, merry Christmas to you and yours ❤💚
This is awesome!! I love that even Frank stood up to Barb and didnt just go get a cookie. He is MAD. Which of course he his! He wanted to see his daughter get engaged too and she ruined it. I love that Shawna and John did not make their daughter say please because Barb clearly did not deserve any respect at that moment. I think she understood at least that barb upset her aunt
I like that they all chose to be responsible and just left. I feel like in the heat of the moment id be making it worse by yelling at Barb and pointing out that Greg never said he was going to propose AT Barb's house ON Christmas day.
I love how Jennifer went first, in a calm manner, just making the statement of "I don't want to be here" and everyone followed her in solidarity. I wonder what the conversation between Frank and Barb
I literally got tears in my eyes when Greg asked Jen to marry him. Such amazing acting and characters. And scripting! Love the kids and Katie. So much work and such amazing payoff. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
That has EWWWWWW written allll over it. And you're exactly right in your guess. I could very well see that happening. They could run away and elope, but they'd be hearing about that for the rest of their lives!
Am I the only one who laughs and cries and gets mad with all of these characters? You are so talented and honestly work so hard at every skit you do. Congratulations ♥️ Merry Christmas!
“Why’d you do it, Barb?” With that scolding look from their dad was GREAT. We hardly ever hear him speak and having that one big moment of clear disappointment and acknowledging her wrongdoing was just… Magnifique! 🙏 Merry Christmas you beautiful healthy individuals! Let Barb stew in her misery, she’s spent so much time seasoning it after all…
This is the comic relief I need! My mom did something very similar for the 100th time in August. I haven’t spoken to her since and today I get a text from her husband telling me to find forgiveness in my heart bc somehow she’s the victim AGAIN!!!
I'm sorry. That is hard We chose to express it differently. We chose to forgive - not because they had changed, not because the next time will be diffrent but because we realized that this is who they have always been and it was not something new or hidden about them and it was our fault on putting an expectation that they behave and treat us in a way they have no capability or intention in actually doing. But although we have forgiven them we will not be taking steps in reestablishing a relationship with them as that is not the type of person we want to associate with in our lives anymore. That we wish them the best with the rest of their lives but they will no longer be a part of ours.
@@Kiki-uu6pc Thank you. I’m not very tactful when expressing my feelings but you’ve just said it perfectly and respectfully. I can just copy and paste!
Good on everyone for standing up to Barb, but the nail in the coffin was Frank….”why did you do it Barb?” I really enjoyed that
❤ and kiddo finally choosing to speak to her only when it was time for 'goodbye' 😂
Me too! And the little girl clocking her evil
ME too 🤣
That was so worth it! Good for Frank!
@@susanvinson2667right? Like now I’m on team Frank apparently now too?!? What is happening?!
Asking her daughter if she’s upset when she very clearly wasn’t. And then looking disappointed that she wasn’t upset just shows that she purposely wanted to hurt her.
Oh wow 😢
🤢🤮 Unfortunately...this is my own mother as well. Low contact for now...hoping she and dad move to another state now that they are in retirement.
I'll never for the life of me understand wanting to actively hurt your kids
I came into my in-laws with full hair and makeup done for a family wedding we were driving together, just needed my dress on (which was at the in-laws house already, known by everyone).. anyway, I walk in and she looks at me and says “well if you still need to shower I’ll bring a clean towel for you”. No I don’t need to shower, how nice of you though..
She is angry at Jen for bonding with Katie. Barb feels left out and insecure that she will be forgotten or replaced by someone else. Too bad her respones to these feelings end up making that a reality and not just a bad fantasy.
What breaks my heart the most is John and his reaction. He was the first to notice his mom’s reaction to Kate, to the closeness she had with Jennifer, you could see the anxiety in his face, he was practically bracing himself for the shitstorm that his mom was about to unleash. That kind of hyperawareness to the feelings of others comes from a lifetime of walking on eggshells around a toxic parent. I speak from personal experience, and it makes me want to give John a great big hug ❤
Yup! I lost my “John” aka my brother in 2007, he was killed. And going through life as an only child now sucks. At least having a sibling to help see when this stuff happens, and knowing when your parent is behaving like this, or even who protects you from them even just a little. Idk, it was different. Now it feels like I am fighting the war alone. It’s exhausting. I have had to go NC many times over the years, or at least LC many times. And it sucks, bc when you lose a part of your family, the remaining part of them feels like you want to cling to them even more. 💔 But a parent like this makes it impossible to breath.
Yes, it does and it's darn near impossible to unlearn.
@@annateresalatourney5615I'm so sorry. I hope you have good people around you and plenty of love.❤❤❤
Frank too. He pivoted into presents hoping to redirect her attention.
Frank too. He pivoted into presents hoping to redirect her attention.
New head cannon for Frank. Dude pays a lot more attention than people think. He's aware of everything. He's just incredibly shy and anti social and isn't good at expressing himself
He pays a lot of attention but doesn't speak up, cause Barb has worn him down. He disappears every time Barb acts up cause he can't stand to see it but can't stand up to her. He's become invisible cause Barb acts up so much that Frank ends up gone most of the time. He's not in denial, but, maybe in avoidance, cause he has to live with her still he keeps the peace by being absent from the conflict
@kimberphereclar4979He's a victim of her as well... but unlike everyone else, he can't just leave and go somewhere else.
This may not be a popular opinion, but his lack of response to Barb's awful behavior is a kind of tacit approval and even a kind of encouragement. As someone who had a mother like Barb, I sure would have benefitted from having a buffer as some protection, and even an advocate. Just sayin'.....
He was the first to suffer the abuse and it doesn't excuse his absence but I understand why he didn't step up till that moment
I appreciated that he said "Whatever Jen wants." His approval is contingent on what his daughter actually wants.
"the monster really liked that" and "shawna would be cackling with laughter right now" are hilarious and really sum up the amazing relationship they have grown
Jen’s growing self-awareness is an honest to god delight!
I really love to see it! It's also so fun to see Jennifer becoming less and less like barb the more aware of how cruel she can be!
Can someone explain the jokes? I've been watching on and off and must've missed those episodes😅
@@blobblub9424I think that one was actually in this video. The “monster” is her horniness I’m 90% sure lol
@@blobblub9424 when jen saw shawna at the beginning they were talking about how h*rny jen has been since the start of her 2nd trimester. something something something jen called her vajj 'the monster' LMAO
Also just, notice Greg never told Barb when/how he was gonna propose. Barb leapt to that idea on her own. And then accused Greg of lying.
That is the exact definition of a Narcisist
They do that though.
@goofyfurball7311 who does what?
@@nicco7518 the crazy narcissist listens to half of what you're saying and decides they understand the secret unspoken parts. Then they get mad at you for lying to them when their imaginary scenario doesn't happen.
@goofyfurball7311 thought that might be, just wanted to double check. Sister is like that too, and would also say things that could be read multiple ways, so I tend to try and make sure.
I love that Shawna’s daughter does not put up with barb’s bs, that’s so relatable and I love that she sticks up for her mommy
She was so happy to leave too like "✨️bye grandma✨️😇"
"Goodbye, Grandmother," had me in shambles 🤣
I love her little neurodivergent self, she knows what's up
Yes I spotted that as well and thought it spoke volumes to Barbs character.
Yep! My daughter did the same thing with her Grandmother. It’s super sad though when children realise they are behaving better than an adult! We are no contact now with my in-laws and and when we told our kids about it, they were so relieved as they had been done with her behaviour towards me for quite sometime, they just didn’t want to hurt their dad. My husband though has always stood up for me 💯 % of the time, but it’s always taken as I’m “making” him do it 🙄 Our lives have been much happier and stress free since! My husband said we should have done it years ago 😂
John's little gasp of hope when Greg said he wants a best man 🥹
It was precious. I'm sure John and Shawna's wedding was a train wreck thanks to Barb, so...this will be better without her.
Well, now I need a flashback to Shawna and John's wedding
@@quantumkitty128And the funniest part, is that Frank will be invited bc even he had enough.
@@virujitoyes! We need this!!!! @shawnathemom
RIGHT! So cute!
This has me in tears! Barb’s jab at Jen to twist the knife when she came back is the picture of a narcissist and I love Jen’s reaction- the only way to hold your footing with a narcissist is to starve the flame. They want you to blow up and get a big reaction out of you so they can spin things to make you seem crazy; the only way to respond is to give them nothing- no reaction- starve that flame!
It’s a lesson we all learn the hard way.
I was hoping for a redemption arc but sometimes it really takes overthinking for people to manifest their own worst nightmare, Barb was so scared of being the last to know that she will forever be the last to know
My father was always the last to find out anything because of stuff like this. He literally cannot keep his mouth shut and is very narcissistic and emotionalky/mentally/verbally abusive. We have gone no contact tact with him recently becuz of his toxicity
@@amothersmagikSorry for your loss. It's for the best though🙏🏼💕
I think Jen was going to be the redeemed person in this scenario, while Barb will be...Barb. But yeah, you're exactly right!
Self fulfilling prophecy!!!
I take it more as: realistically people who have made it that far in life to be aweful, simply don’t WANT to be good people. They genuinely don’t care who they hurt and they will immediately gaslight themselves into thinking they are the victim. It’s the reason they like meeting new people because it’s easier to manipulate folks who don’t yet realize they are insane.
The bit that gets me is that Frank is often a quiet bystander in the room when Barb is telling Greg how handsome he is and is essentially saying that her husband was never handsome, etc. The constant denigration of Frank has worn him down to the point that he is almost invisible. We need to liberate Frank!
Yes! It’s clear that he deals with a lot of verbal and emotional abuse
That's 100% my dad. He won't be liberated though.
FREE FRANK!! FREE FRANK!! 😂
Yes! And I felt so bad knowing Frank had to be punished with Barb. What a shame.
May 2025 be the year of Frank❤
"What about the Nutcracker?"
The audacity!!
You're amazing, that was fantastic.
haha, I know! I hope they take DeeDee instead!
@@pattychurraThat would be awesome, but she's on her Christmas cruise.
@@specksmommy Deedee will be back from cruise and will be friends with katiee😼✨
johns sad ‘that’s nice’ after katie says she’ll get to dance with her son made me gasp. it’s such a shame that their mother is so self centred that she’s missing out on all these lovely moments she could have had with her children
Oh I didn't even notice that. 😢that's so sad.
We can relate. My MIL didn't come to our wedding, and in fact tried to stop it. So he didn't get to dance with his Mom. His wonderful Aunt stepped up and danced with my husband.
I saw that too! Its so sad but also details like that make this channel so good
Oh, I clocked that one, too.
We had a small wedding. And it was like pulling teeth to get his mother to even want to come, let alone participate. Even if we’d had a larger wedding? I can promise she wouldn’t have danced with her son.
I wonder if Barb ruined the dance with John at his wedding?
I had to re-watch, and add another comment...Barb had *such a great opportunity* to become friends with Katie, with this sincere shared interest and as Jen said, "Your dream come true" but Barb was so blinded by jealousy, that she couldn't see it. It just is so sad, that even though she thinks so much of Greg, she was in her own hurt so deep, she couldn't see this gift for what it was. Shawna, your script-writing and acting is superb and I cannot thank you enough for sharing your gift with us!
A billion per cent agree re: Shawna's acting, writing and production skills; these videos are so good in part because her editing skills are AMAZING.
Barb seems to be the kind of person who either has to be the hero or the villain, and since she couldn't out-hero Katie, she would be what her son predicted. But really, nobody wants to live with either a hero or a villain. We want to live with people who treat us like people (not like victims or enemies).
"She was in her own hurt so deep"... So true. I wonder what trauma Barb suffered in her earlier life to have become this way. She really needs therapy. But she also needs to see the error of her ways & WANT therapy & WANT to change. I had high hopes that she wouldn't ruin everything this time but of course she couldn't help herself.
Piggybacking off this, does anyone else feel so bad for Katie?? This is her first time meeting "the in-laws," and this is what happens! We don't know if Greg warned her about Barb, but that's still a very rough introduction. Especially considering Katie's extravagant gift may be her own kind of coping mechanism. Greg said his dad wasn't around, so maybe Katie began over-compensating by planning big experiences and gifts for him. So, her doing this for his fiance's family may be her way of getting them to accept her, even if it is a subconscious urge.
@@creategenius719I do think Greg was not aware how bad Barb was until Jennifer explained. But he knows now.
I don't think Barb knows how to handle being left out of the loop.
She thinks not being let in on everything, let alone not being the first to know, is her being lied to.
I am really curious about Barb's upbringing
I almost feel a little bad about the joy that filled my petty heart that Barb won't get the night out to see the Nutcracker. I hope Frank goes and has a gruffy good time.
Why did I cry when everyone silently acknowledged the proposal? This was one of your best videos!
yesssss me too!!!!!
I totally agree! They are silently high fiving each other!
Same!!
Especially when Frank did it!
Me too 😭
I appreciated how Dee Dee soothed Barb on Thanksgiving but am so happy that everyone (including the nod from Frank) let Barb know her error this time.
…wondering if we’ll ever get a Dee Dee meets Katie scene…
That’s a great example of gentle parenting vs boundaries. ☺️🎯
It's not really an error for her, people like this do this stuff on purpose and they're incapable of change
The two situations are a wonderful contrast that fully illuminates the situation. On the one hand, u destined Barb and helping her feel appreciated would be huge in her development.
She and Frank are in a relationship where their dysfunctions (I would guess avoidant vs anxious attachment as part of it) pair in a way where each makes the other worse…. A core part of Barb’s ravenous desire to have ALL the love and attention is probably that she is starving for it in her marriage, whereas Frank has experienced so much emotional abuse and vicarious embarrassment that he just withdraws further and further, and his “Boomer guy” domestic laziness, probably worsened by Barb giving him the sense he does everything wrong, makes the whole thing worse.
So….treating Barb with care, consideration, inclusion, appreciation…that’s huge for her.
On the other hand, if you are a very very grown ass adult, and you still need to be gentleparented through every moment of your life, or else you viciously lash out like this?
It is absolutely time to put on your big girl panties, take a modicum of personal responsibility, and get into therapy.
What we just saw was so extreme.
From here, we either go into “I need help” or “I complain to strangers at the senior center about my cruel ungrateful children who have gone low to no contact with me purely because evil people have stolen them and my grandkids away, and my lack of self awareness is awkwardly visible to everyone”
It’s a terrible place to be
@@melissasaint3283 Barb would be watching estranged parents TH-cam channels saying random things to excuse herself from her role in the kids going no contract. Shawna won't allow no contact so its probably going to be low contact.
Good on John and Shawna for leaving too and not even bothering to pretend there was another reason for it. Leave her to think about what she's done
The funny (not funny) past is that she still thinks she did nothing wrong.
She won't ever see herself as wrong.
She will find a way on spinning it on the others. Its what narcissists do. She will call probably shawna because she is bad with boundaries and whine about how cruel Jennifer was to her and how ignorant Greg was. They will find a way to never take accountability. How to spot a narcissist? It's always the others, never themselves.
that was a fast 11:03 minutes... I need more lol 😊Oh my goodness I cried when Barb did that. It breaks my heart to see her do that to Jennifer...and yes I know it's a skit but Shawna has such an amazing way of bringing everyone to life. You forget that it's her playing all the parts. I'm happy Frank let Barb have it in his own way.
Right?
I knowww! Don’t forget the kiddos too! 😂A nice Christmas story! ❤
It's just like with audiobooks, you know it is the same voice actor but you're still getting the immersive feels as if it is real.
Right? I feel so emotionally attached to these characters, even Barb to a certain extent. Shawna does such an incredible job personifying complex behaviours in a way that we can empathize with and understand why Barb acts this way while also easily agreeing she's wrong for lashing out. I really hope she's able to learn to do better so she can fully be in her family's lives, but this is going to be hard to recover from.
You took the words right out of my head. Well said! This was absolutely amazing!
At first, I thought Barb was just reacting and not thinking about what she was saying but then seeing her literally calculate the response to make it pointed. Just unreal... I'm so glad you posted the whole thing so I didn't have to leave on that cliffhanger for a couple days!
It was definitely the, "wait you look happy, why are you not upset" reaction when Greg and Jennifer emerged that really sends that point home
Barb was being reactionary that's the MO of a narcissistic person. They are stuck on their triggers and got stuck along the way to becoming an adult
Yeah like if only I could go back and rewatch my own family interactions a few times because in the moment it’s just emotional whiplash and then afterwards I don’t remember it clearly and I wonder if I misunderstood or try to give it the benefit of the doubt
To be honest, I really don't want Barb to have a redemption arc. It's nice when fictional characters experience growth but its unrealistic that every person can be saved from themselves. Irl, most people like Barb do not change. These skits are a perfect depiction of dealing with having a mother/mil like Barb and imo letting her redeem herself will take away from the beautiful story @ShawnatheMom has written. We got our redemption arc in Jennifer. Some characters are just meant to be the villain. I hope everyone goes LC and then maybe Jennifer and Greg go NC. It'd be nice to see them portray the struggle of cutting off someone you care about and resisting the temptation to let them back into your life because "I miss having a mom" but having to remember that the one that life dealt you will never be capable of being an actual mom to you, she's only capable of dishing out hurt and disappointment.
The Barbs of the world really never have a redemption arc. My own Barb has alienated all her children, save the "perfect child". Barb will have nice moments but more and more ugly ones. She'll never be redeemed.
i went nc with my mom for 2 years. i only resumed because she went into the hospital and i was asked to help with the animals. we have a long road ahead but hopefully, god willing, we can walk it together. i missed her terribly but my own mental health must come first. she is fully aware now that im capale, but will pull the door shut if i need too. i cry writing these words because its going to be a forever struggle.
Your response is totally valid and if barb does get the redemption arc, then the drama we love would get boring because she is the cause of it. I still want the redemption arc though. I like seeing people learn and improve. But also hope Shawna ignores my want because it might not work for the story and I don't want this resolved too quickly.
“You wouldn’t get it if you haven’t lived here. It’s just what she does”. I felt that so hard. Thanks for making this series. It’s cathartic.
If it’s like mine, it’s because she has built up this public persona of being so wonderful. It’s only at home that her true self comes out.
Which, granted, is something that you have to have lived to understand.
And the sense that I was betraying her by sharing this information was so strong that I almost didn’t post this.
@@preceptgalI feel this so much. But as another survivor said it this year "let's put the shame where it belongs". Its not your guilt you're feeling right now. It's hers. You aren't guilty. You never were. You are enough. You are lovable. Even if she made you feel otherwise. It's hard to put into words because THATS WHAT THEY WANT. They want you to stay silent, to carry the shame and the guilt. I am so proud of you to speak up! And with mine, it even only came out at times where it could profit her. Like, even at home she pretends to be all defensive and avoidant but she sits with a smile while the chaos plays out and she gets to be the Saint. It's so hard to describe. I understand and I see you.
Same here
yeah, cathartic - thanks! now I know why I love watching these skits (apart from the great acting that makes me absolutely forget that it is all one !! person playing this) ... I had a secret wedding, just my husband and me - even though I would have liked to have my whole family present, but I just knew my mom would make it all about herself and walk over every boundary set by either me or him. oh how much I still had to learn back then, 17 yrs ago.
@@not-a-ghost2206 TY ❤️ Being seen are powerful words
Well, that made me cry. I'm going to be a snotty sobbing mess at the wedding and Katie isn't going to be there to wipe my nose on her sleeve.
Oh man, I definitely cried too 😭
I admit I shed a few tears 😢
Oh phew I am still trying to stop crying!!! 😅
The little girl knows! She did not want to say hi to Grammy and she was elated to say goodbye. She knows!
Kids just know, man
kids always know, even if they don’t actually know, if that makes sense
@@michaelabrown9958 my teens are like that with my mom. They love her but they don't feel the same obligation that I do. I may encourage a little, but I don't force communication or interactions.
Knows what? That Barb is a monster?
@@piper0328especially little girls. Hella intuitive
Your acting is getting so good. I genuinely hate barb. They are all so different
And I wish they’d have an engagement party at Bistro Huddy
I started watching Bistro Huddy from comments here and now I understand the calls for a collab. It would be epic.
Omg. Nicole vs. Barb. Omg 😳🤣
This family at Bistro Huddy might make the world collapse 😂😂😂
Oooh, Nicole from Bistro Huddy would ABSOLUTELY destroy Barb!!!
An engagement party or dress rehersal dinner at Bistro Huddy would be EPIC
I have to say I really appreciate that Jennifer is maturing but still very Jennifer 😂 "Do you really think I would turn down a party whose theme is literally 'All Eyes On Jennifer'?" Gold hahaha
That's me. I am pretty insufferable at times, but I try to at least be self aware.
She’s so real for that 😂 having that much attention would be a total nightmare for me but there’s something weirdly admirable about someone who loves that attention and is self-aware about it.
But what is so great is Shawnas acceptance of that. The idea that Jennifer wants to be the center of attention and Shawna knows her well enough and loves her enough to celebrate that. Even Jennifer sees it as a sign of love. Acceptance, without boundary violations, is a gift. Especially after having Barb as a mother.
I liked this part because it's much more realistic
Jennifer being who she is is not the problem ♥️ she's very likeable when she's aware that she can be hurtful
I am so invested in this story that I forget that this is one woman performing all the characters.
Truly brilliant xx
Right?? Me too! She does such an amazing job making each character feel really unique and lived in. It's so amazing!
Wait? It was the same person doing all the characters? Now I need to rewatch it 😂 I totally get what you mean though the way she can change and make each character unique but relatable is amazing 👏
Same!! Her portrayal of the characters has made me literally see them all as completely different people! She is Brilliant!
you can see the peace in Jen’s eyes. Not just that she’s ready for forever with Greg, but that she’s finally let go of the expectation that her mom will change. she’s free.
yea yea and you can tell john has been in the same situation too! he says "she needed to see it," cos it really takes that one moment and this was it for jennifer
@@jadeyu7197Possibly with whatever happened at his own wedding (note his reaction to the mother-son dance comment. Did she not show? Behave badly towards Shawna? Refused to dance? Wore a white dress?)
@@kathydurow6814 yeah we need a flashback to John and Shawna's wedding.
@@MissmoriI don’t think I could handle a flashback from Barb after this
@@kathydurow6814 She totally wore white.
Correction: She totally wore "pale champaign" or "eggshell" or some other nonsense shade of definitely-white.
Deedee and Katie will be more than enough to make up for barbs hopeful absence. Also, very glad to see that although he isnt very present, Frank also sees Barb and all her nastiness ALSO ALSO love the lil daughter in all her autonomy shes my favorite
Father I need your lap.
It seems that the little daughter knows her grandma Barb can be very mean sometimes and wants none of it. So very perceptive!
Kids are very good at recognizing bullies
That’s exactly how my little sister was with my awful awful grandma
That's exactly why Frank is largely absent/in his own world.
The little girl cracks me up every time when she goes thank you mother, father, grandmother, so formal, and I love it ❤😂
Finally, Barb gets the treatment she has deserved for ages! Also, I love that granddaughter sees right through evil grandma.
the granddaughter was AMAZING. stole the show tbh.
She totally understands that her grandmother upsets others.
It killed me that she was only excited to address Barb when it was time to leave
Jonathan's "That's nice" after Katie says "I get to dance with my son" was genuinely masterful. Obviously Jonathan never got his Mother-Son dance and is going through the hyper-drive 5 stages of grief experience, feeling everything at once but arriving at acceptance within seconds because even though it still hurts, it isn't holding him back anymore and now it has morphed into stage 6, pity for the other person.
Good catch
And also only venting the realisations to wifey instead of Jennifer or Greg
Not Barb calling Greg a liar when he never actually said he would propose at Barbs
There was also just no reason ro believe he wasn't going to propose anyway! She ruined it before he even had a chance to disappoint her.
I was today years old when I found out I could watch the videos in full length! Loved it!
Same!!!😊
And they have extra scenes when you do!
Me too!🎉
SAME!! Thanks to a comment on Facebook that said “I watched the full video on TH-cam” I figured out she has a TH-cam channel with full videos! How has I been missing this whole time?!
Same here. Lol
Whoa. Tears literally sprang to my eyes when Frank got Greg’s attention and nodded.
Everyone supporting them…
And the tears in Greg’s eyes.
Thank you!!
And thank you for this Christmas gift!!!
Omg the tears in Greg’s eyes 😢
Yeah, was he ok at the end? I couldn't tell.
The granddaughter noticing her grandmother’s behavior and not wanting to be affectionate towards her grandmother anymore. I feel that.
Frank asking barb why she did it gave me literal chills!!!!! That was so good!!!!!
💯💯💯
Right? Kind of wonder if that wasn't the last straw for him and the beginning of the end. She literally just took the surprise and joy of the proposal away from their daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law (or tried to), just because she was mad and feeling left out because their daughter JUST HAPPENED to end up having an important moment when Barb didn't happen to be there. Like, what the actual fuck, Barb?! You allegedly love your daughter; you apparently like Greg and think he's good for her; this was EXPLICITLY and OBVIOUSLY done SOLELY TO HURT THEM BOTH.
A MUCH better reaction would be to thank Katie for being there to look after your baby girl when she was having such a stressful moment, and being relieved that she's got somebody else to count on when your aren't available. You could have had an ALLY. But noooOOOo.
Fuck you, Barb. And I'm calling it now: this is the beginning of the end for her marriage, as well as of the kids going low to no contact.
Well done, Shawna! Great writing, acting, editing, everything! And thanks for the fantastic Christmas present! Merry Christmas! :D
@@KryssLaBrynthat's wishcasting and there may be several more twists before that, if it ever does, happen.
It wasn't a test, but Barb made it a test by failing.
I love how John got the cookie for their daughter, great way to show your child that you support them, without making a song n dance about it. Both parents verbally set a behavioural expectation with Barb, their kid their parenting rules essentially, Barb repeatedly didn't listen. So they found another way around it and supported their kid in the process, without making their kid feel bad either. That's two kids who know they're loved, safe and respected. Who'll grow up to be like Shawna, John, Gregg and I suspect Jen by the time her baby is grown.
Good use of family dynamics to show how one child, often the golden child, can grow to mimic the narc parent but is still able to learn and change in adulthood. And the one narc who opts to stubbornly stay the selfmade victim of their actions and decisions.
Barb is gonna be solo at this rate and it'll be her fault. Sad but true, and so deserved if she wont take accountability and make amends.
My last straw with my mother was years after it should've been, I gave that woman way too many chances over the years (though saying that, hindsight is always a far clearer view than foresight, i can be very self critical and angry with myself for letting people hurt my family far longer than I should have, so I have to remind myself about the difference tween foresight and hindsight alot lol).
We'd fled my ex, my kids dad, then when he found us social had to move us across country and there I decided to kept our new address secret, from everyone I could still call friend or family after my ex pushed most away during the marriage. But I suspected mum had been the one to tell him where we'd been hiding (as pay back for a long conversation we'd had that week about if she wanted to be in my kids lives moving forward, after everything she'd done to me growing up and everything their dad put them through, then I'd need some very firm clear boundaries, which we talked through during the chat much to her chagrin but she agreed to most of my terms and I compromised on some aspects too, I was determined to be firm but fair (like I wanted monthly catch ups she wanted weekly but I wouldnt compromise on her being supervised by me with my kids, things like that)) but couldn't prove it so didnt feel I had the right to fully cut contact then based on an unfounded hunch. So to be safe I told no one our new address, didnt give my number out to anyone and used burner phones for the first year until we were out of the refuge and rebuilding out life in our new town. Especially I was very firm with my mum cos I knew she was toxic but was so scared that I wasn't good enough alone for my kids, thought that they had to have some extended family else I'd damage them (my biggest fear is turning out like my mum). So let my mum keep talking to me kids weekly via the phone with my supervison and clear boundaries (she didnt have my number, I'd ring her once per week so kids could talk to her on loud speaker). Plus a meeting once per year in a neutral city centre, for cinema and meal.
At the first of these meet ups, while we were having a lovely reasurant lunch, my mum (who knew most of what my ex did to kids n me, she definitely knew enough to know why my kids were terrified of their dad). Like John I knew something was amiss, she was too happy, too relaxed, to bubbly for her normal self, I figured maybe she had something planned to upset me later on or that just maybe she was just putting on a show cos of the fancy public venue but I knew something was off with her, half expected my ex to pop around the corner any second. Now in hindsight I can see that she was likely testing the boundaries I'd set, seeing if I was as commited to them as I said I was. But seemingly randomly off topic she said, performatively loudly mid meal, to my eldest (then 5) "you'll have to keep out of the sun young lady, we don't want to end up looking like your dad now do we" and belly laughed but with her smirk I'd seen too many times growing up, she knew what she was doing (I'm white, kids dad isn't).
Like the tables near us all went quite, jaw dropped, looking at us.
My daughter looked worried immediately, asking me "is that true mummy? I'm not like dad am I?" I reassured her, told her what grandma just said was very racist, inappropriate and grossly untrue, that she's nothing like her dad, she's her own unique person. Same for both of them, cos my son was also getting upset too by this point, largely cos my mum started shouting that it was just a joke, I was being too dramatic, trying to gaslight us. I mostly ignored her, trying to reassure kids and started getting their coats on. Then when others started coming to our defense, mum started doubling down on her comment, saying she was trying to "do the kid a favour" and divulging some of the details of abuses we'd suffered from their dad in that public venue. I ignored her, flagged a staff member and asked for the bill to be split, told kiddos that were gonna go back to the hotel now and no more seeing Grandma. Kids didnt argue, my son all but jumped into his pram coat half on bless him. Multiple staff approached, with other customers, trying to shut mum up and they refused to let me pay. People were physically acting as a barrier tween mum n us now, cos she'd started grabbed my kids hats and gloves so I couldn't put them on my kids. I left without the items, had more in the suitcases at the hotel anyway. I was working so hard to stay calm for my kids who'd started crying by this point (youngest was 3 btw, so 3&5 and only a year since we'd left their dad, and all the drama of that year, they were understandably shaken) and the anxiety of it all meant I kept missing the buckles on the pram for son, so I gave up (I'd fix it once away from the situation), picked my daughter up and moved her to my back (an automatic thing I used to do when married so I was tween her and protential danger, didnt even realise I'd done it til after we left the restaraunt and far enough away that I could stop to sort the pram out) but I somehow had just enough mental capacity to realise that for my kids to ever get past their fear of the world (cos while everyone approaching meant well, it was still scary to be suddenly surrounded by angry strangers, even if that anger isnt aimed at you), not just their dad, they needed to see me stand up to my mum in this public place where all I wanted to do was disappear. So just before we left, as calmly and clearly as I could muster, i said "we're done mum. I made it very clear that I'll never let anyone hurt my children again. And I made you personally aware that I'd not let you treat my children the way you've treated me my whole life. There are no more chances." And with that we left, to sodding claps as we were leaving, that again meant well (and in hindsight was truly beautiful) but at the time made me feel sick, too many eyes on us for my comfort lol (I'm happy to deal with conflict these days but back then I was still a mess myself so woefully unprepared for that situation). Never seen her since.
I did make the mistake of ringing her during lockdown, when I heard that a family member died in the first wave, I had everyone telling me how insensitive I was being (she's your mum, you only get one mum, maybe she's sorry, yadda yadda). So when kids were safely in bed I rang her to give my condolences and immediately she was telling these weirdly and wildly elaborate lies (about things that were currently illegal or extremely expensive during lockdown, about other people she didn't know I was still in touch with, about my sibling whom I'm not in touch with cos alas unlike Jen they're still very much under mums control so not safe for us either) and doing her usual woe is me BS. But I'd grown, kept calm, just didnt give fuel to her fire. Told her I rang to gave her my condolences, not listen to more lies, clearly she hadn't changed any, gave my condolences then hung up. Never spoken to her since, and I'll never let anyone make me feel bad for cutting her out either. Second best thing I ever did for kids n me, first best being leaving their dad (wish I'd done that alot sooner too but again, hindsight. I know logically if I'd left sooner I probably wouldn't have been strong enough to stay free of him, and thus protect my kids long term. When someone else has been doing your thinking and controlling every aspect of your life for so long, it takes a while to filter out their BS in your head and find your footing - though I'm sure it really angers him that in his teaching me how to stand up to my mum (she had alot of mental and emotional control over me at the start of if our marriage), how to set boundaries and say no to her, he inadvertently taught me how to stand up to him too lol). 😂
Shawna's so kind and empathetic, but Jen will drop Barb like a mouldy spud the second a disparaging remark about her baby comes outta Barbs mouth. And justly so.💜
I loved this segment, but it was so sad. Some people just cannot see that they are the ones sabotaging their own happiness. I know this is just a story, but it hits home so hard. I know people just like Barb. It’s just so sad.
Sadly there's WAY too many people of that generation who behave like that, & feel like everyone just has to deal with it because that's who they are. It's fantastic that they all walked out on Barb. I only wish Frank could've gone with them! 🥺
@ericachacon8337 In someways you feel sorry for him because his wife is the reason he is missing out on actually being part of his kids special moments however this was the same man who watched his daughter and wife treat his sons partner and the mother of his grandkids like crap and did not call it out either.
@@ericachacon8337 Unfortunately there are people of every generation who are like that. I think as they get older it shows more and they get emboldened by getting away with it for so long....so it probably gets worse. And, becomes normalized which is sooo bad. 😢 Hopefully more of the younger generations will nip this behavior in the bud and put down boundaries which will either force those people to stop the behavior...or miss out on family and friends. It is so toxic to everyone.
@@ericachacon8337 Not just that generation we have to remember that growing up wasn't easy for them either. For example my mom grew up being told she was unwanted by her own mother because she's the result of my grandfather forcing himself on my grandmother.
@@Geekabibble This like my cousin is like this and what for. To gain the love attention and even having his mom defend his actions. I've seen more people in my family including myself hurt by that dynamite his actions.
jeez, barb really did shit the bed w this one. that was probably the worst thing she’s ever done and i’m glad they all held true and left her to think about what she’d done and didn’t let her come. she deserved that. frank sealed the deal, too. great episode!!!!
I haven’t finished watching, but I wish I didn’t read the comments. For me, *you* pulled a Barb in the comment section.
Damnit 😂
@kiwigirlNZ This gave me a flashbavk of doing a weekly book review along with vocabulary words in elementary school.
- Read every few chapters each week. Do the necessary work. If needed I would skip more chapters. Only reading the first couple of pages of those chapters.
- Even though I didn't read all the pages, the work I did implied I did.
I spent a little more time for the final chapter.
This was before the internet and bluebook versions of books.
I despised reading until my freshman year. "Clockwork Orange" was my maiden voyage into the infinite space of sci-fi.
Oh my gosh... I'm so invested in this! Thank you, Shawna, for the drama and fun and love!! ❤
@@kiwigirlNZno offense but the comments are for discussing the happenings in the video lol. You really shouldn’t look if you don’t want to know what’s happened
@ @phoenixfeather It was unintentional. Clicked on the vid, and *one* comment was exposed.
The one I commented on.
I’m shocked at how invested I am. I can’t wait for the follow up. I’m absolutely fiending for Barb to find out they all (including Frank) went to The Nutcracker and dinner at the Ritz without her.
My jaw LITERALLY dropped and I had to pause the video. I saw the short of Barb and Frank and Greg discussing the proposal earlier and I was so excited for a happy moment and then THIS?! Ain't no way Barb is getting back into the life of her daughter and perhaps even her son and grandkids without some SERIOUS work and therapy.
THERAPY is the only redemption arc that’s going to fix this woman and heal their family. Everyone has given her their time and their tears and it’s meant nothing to her. At some point, it’s up to the abuser to take responsibility for their own behavior and the hurt they have caused everyone else by daring to trust her and hope things could ever be different. I can’t even imagine how much she must have terrorized John and Jennifer when they were just children, looking for someone to love and protect them unconditionally. Barb isn’t just quirky and out of touch; she has some RECKONING to do. Much love to all the families out there who have experienced anything similar, I know your numbers are heartbreakingly many. 😭
And if this BARB of a person won’t step up and truly rectify the place they’ve taken their relationships, it’s okay to let go of the fairytale that someday they will, and to No Contact so you can have some real and lasting peace in your life. Merry Christmas, folks. Goodwill to you all. 😔
So did I!! I gasped so hard at her audacity. I seen it flying down hill when they shared the knick names tho.
Barb is the villan, but poor Frank is caught in the cross hairs beside her. In the fallout of this Christmas, I hope he wakes up from his stupor and steps up loudly for his kids.
Also, Shawnas daughter being super skeptical of Grammy?? Delightful
I love the "yeah i'm great" and Katie automatically gets it. No other words needed. Also Barb learned the hard way. I think that's what she needed.
Did she learn anything though? Imo all she heard was that her suspicions are confirmed and everyone really is out to marginalize and disregard her.
Ok but jennifer and Greg's sidebar about how they're feeling post-barb-shitting-the-bed made me cry! Jen's worry about greg being stuck with her was so real, and his response was so loving, and the 'shawna would be cackling' showing how far their relationship has improved, and the fact that he just had to ask because the love was so big in that moment i just 🥹🥹🥹
And on a separate note i love that shawna's daughter hates grandma barb's vibes out the gate, she has her pegged and is already sick of her crap as a toddler 😂
Love that kid. 😆
I get the feeling that Barb is the type of grandma that is only nice to her grandsons and purposely mean to the granddaughters. Idk
@@Min-vq3kq😢 I hope not, but my days of giving Barb the benefit of the doubt are quite possibly maxed out at this point. I just hope Shawna Junior is super observant, and not wise from her own personal experience.
THAT HAIR 😂😂😂 👧
@@Min-vq3kqAs a fellow shy kid, I hated being forced to talk. Poor girl's probably been forced by Barb so many times.
The nod from Frank 😭❤️ edit: ALSO HE STOOD UP TO BARB, HECK YEAH!! 👏
i was searching for this comment! ♥
8:59 this moment right here was so special, idk how u captured the magical little bit of knowing and sharing a wonderful secret with the ones you love, but it was perfect!
I do love the lil children. Especially the girl. "Father I need your lap." and her long stares at Grandma.
She sees barbs actions too..... kids are always watching and listening especially when you don't think they are or want them too
Kids are freaking perceptive. They can read a room like no adult I have ever known. Which is why I have been/am hyper aware of body autonomy. My kids are adults but have never been forced to give/accept physical affection. Any physical interactions with other adults have been fully on their terms. I offer children hi fives, but *any* physical interactions are fully instigated by the kids themselves.
"Father I need your lap." is one of my favourites lines from it all. I crack up every time.
The fact that i got tearful over fictional characters all played by ONE PERSON 😂. You did an amazing job, merry Christmas!
This! So much this!
Oh boy that whole "I'm sorry youre stuck with me and therefore my mom" hit haaaaaaard. Go low/no contact Jen.
Barb reminds me so much of my own mother whom I went NC this year. The finally straw was my wedding. We (my partner and I) had been planning it for two years and my mother showed little to no interest that her last daughter was finally getting married. I kept her in the loop and was even having the ceremony in the state she (and my sisters) lived in to make it easier on her. With my other sisters she was overly involved but with me, I feel like she kept quiet because she was worried I would ask for money. I still told her everything even if she was not listening, sent pictures of locations, and updated her with dates/times etc. I even invited her and my sisters to a wedding dress try on, which served drinks and snacks. She showed up 1 hour late to a 2 hour time slot. The last two months prior to the wedding, she asked "So what are the plans for the wedding?" I was like "What do you mean? It is happening on X date at X time at X place. You just need to show up. What else is there to know?" She responds with "No, what are the plans FOR ME for the wedding?" I was like "???? What?" Turns out my mother wanted to walk me down the aisle, to stay at the airbnb that myself, my partner and several of our wedding party were staying at (She lived within driving distance and we didn't have any other room for people), wanted to get ready with the wedding party, wanted to get her hair done with me (of course with the assumption I was paying), wanted to bring her dogs to the wedding, and asked me what she should wear to it. I told her No to all of those things. She told me and I quote: "Oh, so this is about you having your little time with your friends and having a popularity contest huh?" The logic behind it. Yes, mother. My wedding day is about me and my partner and celebrating us. Not you. The logic! The entitlement!
oh man. im glad you didnt put up with her BS. you did the most mature things, trying to keep her involved even though she was not present at all, then she tries to take advantage of your special day. great job handling this, i hope the wedding went amazing!!
Wow. I am so sorry. You deserve better. May she see the light before she leaves this earth.
@@carlenedonovan I doubt it. We are going on 7 months no contact. FYI, she also blames me for my dad’s death. My dad passed away of a massive pulmonary embolism over four years ago. I was the one doing CPR until EMS arrived. It was quite traumatizing for the family but she refuses to get any kind of therapy. At this point, she’s been like this my whole life. My sisters cannot even tell my mom they are traveling places because she gets major FOMO and gets angry at everyone for it.
I don’t expect the Zebra to change her stripes anytime soon. But realistically what I want is not an apology but her to get intense therapy.
I’ll send her a mean letter in the mail if you want
Lord have MERCY! I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. I'm glad you're doing what you can to protect your peace and surrounding yourself with family {by blood or chosen) who love and support you! ❤@@brittanymchaffie7604
Gotham has a new super villian
And it's Barb!
That line was hilarious!
Best line in an enormous pile of awesome lines 🎉
This whole series is just perfection. I LOVE how they immediately decided "we aren't gonna let her ruin this." Greg and Jen are my new OTP
Master class in how to navigate around a narcissist. This was brilliant! Empowering.
As an adult, I am constantly silently rebuking myself when some every day bit if business slips out to my own mother. It happens so easily because I didn't notice as a kid that, like Barb, those everyday life bits of business very frequently get turned around and used against me and mine.
The jealousy is over the top too. When I gave birth my mother called a cousin I was estranged from, and told that cousin that I'd had a baby, and so that cousin came to the hospital. Not out of an attempt to create unity. But because my husband's family is close knit, where my family isn't, so it was a competition thing.
I never would have thought seeing my own mother's behavior in a skit, would feel so validating. I'm not alone...
You aren't alone, I too walk the same fine line as you. Trying to give enough info so that she thinks she's "involved" in my life, but not so much that she's causing chaos. Over the summer I had a busy few weeks and OMG! I didn’t talk to her for a few days. My sister was also unavailable so mother dearest decided that NoBoDy LoVeS hEr and stopped taking her insulin, blood pressure, and anti-depression for the week. She narrowly escaped a trip to the ER and she got her damn attention she wanted so badly. 🙄
Anyways, not alone.
Totally not alone. I'll tell you what, that was such a turningpoingin my healing journey from a narcissistic mother. When I learned that other people do understand me. Cause most of society doesn't and it makes u feel crazy and so lonely, questioning yourself. My hearts with you and I understand you! (They are just demons)
@@KimberlyShuron I don't know why my reply to you never showed up, but
Thank you 💗
@@AmandaShook-wx1kt Thank you, for commenting back.
It's funny you mentioned society, because I still lie so much, and omit so much out of my conversations with other people, when talk shifts to my mother.
To try to cover for her odd, erratic, unexplainable behavior.
Society has one idea of Mothers, and there are so many different versions in real life.
Information is currency in my mother's family. The most benign comment (IE I had a mammogram on Tuesday) will go across the world as something scary that is happening to my mother (or HER daughter might have cancer). My little family went LC when we decided to stop feeding the gossip mill.
I made a comment and it didn’t capitalize her name, and it occurred to me what the definition of a “barb” is:
“a sharp projection near the end of an arrow, fishhook, or similar item, angled away from the main point so as to make extraction difficult.”
So it stabs you and you can’t pull it out.
Another definition of “barb” is “a biting or pointedly critical remark or comment.”
Sometimes the name just works out.
Oh, how true. Love that observation
It may not be the proposal he expected, but sometimes it’s the unexpected that are the most memorable down the road. Jen got her proposal, the family still celebrated, and Barb got put in her place. Shawna playing all parts is amazing 🤩
I still need to see the moment Barb finds out it was done out of her view…I’m a glutton for schadenfreude for people like that 😜
I knew when Jen was all snotty and red faced, but taking that deep breath and composing herself so beautifully that Greg was going to take one look at her and realize he didn't want to wait one more second.
@jenniferhiemstra5228 can you imagine what wedding planning is going to be like? It's going to be an awesome series!
Dee dee foreshadowing at Thanksgiving about barb pushing people away because she's so scared of being left out was great. It seemed like barb was making some slow progress then, but completely reverted back and then some once another loved mother figure stepped onto the scene. I hope that after sitting in her loneliness on Christmas after being called out for her heartless behavior she will think about DeeDees words to her and maybe have a breakthrough. Deep down barb is a broken and insecure person who just wants to be loved and included, but she has let that turn her into a monster that will beget the exact thing she is afraid of. Hopefully she will realize that. I'd like to see the family encourage her to see a therapist after this. A barb therapy arc could be really great as part of a redemption arc.
Great job as always shawna! I love following your stories.
I always say, we create what we fear.
(Actually, we create what we focus on, but that's a lesson for another day.)
It was nice to see a turn around for Barb during the Thanksgiving arc, but I always suspected she would regress because she never actually apologized to Jen for ruining her baby shower. It's sad that Barb sometimes feels excluded or underappreciated, but she never considers that sometimes... you're going to be excluded from things. Or that she's guilty of doing the same thing to others.
This this this!
Barb is incapable of the introspection required to make those changes. People like Barb see the emotional discomfort brought on by admitting her wrongdoing as an existential threat. Until she can move through that kind of negative emotion and see things get better on the other side, she will never be able to mature to the point of having the relationships she desires so badly.
I came from Facebook, first time watching it all on TH-cam, I am SO hooked. I’ve been watching your videos since before Jennifer’s redemption arc. The way I don’t even notice how it’s you playing all of the characters, you play them all PERFECTLY. Never stop doing these please they are great, so entertaining and heartfelt!
I just LOVEE the looks Jen gives Shawna!!!!!
I've loved every moment since they became friends ❤️
I am so glad to see Jennifer forming healthy bonds with other women and healing her inner child by setting boundaries.
Omg, that "Why'd ya do it, Barb," from Frank hit *hard*.
I was shocked when everyone left at the same time. So many of us have stood up and were told we were wrong for doing so.
God, seeing Jennifer break down crying after all the bs Barb pulled was so heartbreaking. I'm so glad she has Greg and the others to support her. 💜
Barb just HAD to make sure it was all about her (disappointment)...couldn't just sit it out...or go rearrange the cookie tray. And making the kids ask nicely for cookies at a family gathering??? C'mon. Barb's the LAST person to be forcing 'etiquette' on anyone.
Shawna...YOU ARE TOP NOTCH at this!!! Brava!!! Bouquet of flowers, standing ovation and multiple curtain calls on this one. :)
I loved John asking nicely for a cookie then giving it to the little. Good daddy.
I can imagine how much hard work is put into these videos. I am well invested and appreciate the storyline and characters. You have got quite the talent. This has been the best one yet.
the way greg never said when he was gonna propose yet barb just assumed it’d be on christmas and then called him a liar when it looked like it wouldn’t be
She did it all to herself, she put the words in his mouth and expectation in her own mind.
Love that they all held Barb accountable and moved Christmas elsewhere. Also loved Jennifer not letting Barb see that she's upset. Congrats Jen and Greg! ✨🌙💛✨
Hearing Frank put the last nail in was music to my ears!!
MAN I KNEW GREG SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED BARB 😭 but honestly, good for Frank for saying something at the end!!! And I'm so glad that Greg reassured Jen he's in love with her, and the happy ending more than made up for what we expected Barb to do.
Absolutely beautiful.
Now he really knows how bad she is. It's good for their (fictional!) future :)
I think Greg was trying to show Barb that he wants to involve her and trust her. It's like he was giving her another chance after the baby shower debacle. But Barb blew it and just as with the shower Greg stood up for, defended, and protected Jennifer. Beautiful ❤
@@lorrieoiler1878 I think that after Thanksgiving we were all really hoping for a redemption arc for Barb, but honestly having someone who's exactly like her in my life, I'm not at all surprised that she did this 🥺 because she would have REALLY needed to want to be better.
Not the main point, but i really like how Jen said "Shawna would've cackled w laughter at that" - just shows you how close Jen and Shawna are! I dont wanna say that she thought of Shawna during this very emotional moment, but that she mentioned an inside joke between them like this when shawna isn't there just makes me really happy.
I really liked the shorts, but the full video has a way bigger impact on how well they've done to stand up to Barb. Family issues are always a delicate thing to deal with. Toxic family members are the worst, but they are family. So it's hard to decide, if it's better to cut them off or hope to work with them to make things better. I guess, it depends if the fam-memb in question is willing to work or not.
But I trail of, I guess. Great video, great message and I'm so happy for Jen and Greg. And Katie is such a sweety pie.
I am way too invested in all of this. This was incredible. In ten minutes I went from elated to so nervous to shocked out of my mind to horrified to straight elation again and “suck it Barb” to peace again. Shawna. You’re killing me. You can’t keep doing this to us….except you can. Please don’t ever stop this series.
My take on this situation. It seemed to be one of those, "everyone got caught up in the moment" and so missed the intial signs of Barb regressing. Therefore, there wasn't a way to correct.
Barb was super excited about knowing a secret. Then, when everyone started complimenting Katie as a good mom, the return of the feeling, "Im not a good mother." Started to rear up. It was slightky diminished when it was just the Nutcracker tickets, but then the rest of the present led to the lashing out. John did notice after the initial burble died down, but also still didn’t full get that it wasn’t just that Katie was the first to find out about the pregnancy.
To be clear, NONE of what I just said is making an excuse for Barb. Barb lashed out as she does, but it wasn’t /just/ because of spite. It was from pain and guilt and she wanted others to feel the same. She 💯needed that final reaction from everyone leaving.
I'm so glad the proposal still happened and that Barb was too wrapped up in her "I am hurt and therefore everyone should be hurt" that she missed it.
Love these skits so much and how much depth is being added to these characters.
Yeah, I was actually feeling really bad for Barb as point after point was made praising Katie and Jennifer made it very clear how much she sees her as a mum and how wonderful a mum she thinks she is. I actually even felt it crossed a little into insensitive towards Barb. The subtext "you're s much better mum than Barb" was actually there, rather than Barb fabricating it. But that in Jo way excuses the awful thing Barb did
@jaycievictory8461 DeeDee is Shawna's mom. Katie is Greg's mom.
It's even harder as we almost had a redemption arc with Barb after Thanksgiving. But there wasn't e ough of a change from Barb...
@Kaladelia Thanks, changed it!
Yeah, I really liked the Thanksgiving episode. But I also really liked how DeeDee identified how much Barb had done to host Thanksgiving I.e. recognised and praised all her unpaid labour. And I found myself wondering how often John, Jennifer and Frank recognised how much she did, or if it was taken for granted. Again, they have good reason to be wary/distant/disinclined to praise Barb, but I like the nuances I think Shauna is drawing
I agree and disagree. Barb likes the attention on her, and can’t handle when she’s not the center. For many of the reasons you mentioned, but even before Greg and his mom showed up she was so heavy handed with the hints that I was surprised no one started putting two and two together. Greg went to her with a special secret and Barb was trying to make a point that she knew a special surprise and let the cat out of the bag, without letting the cat out of the bag, before she actually did...let the cat out of the bag, lol. Barb was afraid that Greg’s mom would have that “special moment” of the proposal being at an event planned by her, instead of by Barb herself, so she deliberately made sure that no one would have that “special moment.” It was a very cruel move.
@jordie6688 that is also true. I do think though that she would have kept the secret u til Greg proposed, unless something else triggered the jealousy. But the desire to know a secret, but not say is also bad.
Her joy at being told the secret was more that no one else knew (except Frank) and that not that Greg was going to propose and Je nifer would be happy. While she was happy he was going to propose, the joy was more focused on the secret and that he might propose while at her house.
I think someone else had commented this, but it was also a way for her to use it later if the proposal happened at her house. She could say forever, "remember that time Greg proposed to you..."
Your acting skills (and editing skills!) are phenomenal!!!
Wow. Just… Wow!
You know you’re a good author when you can capture and manipulate the emotions of your audience flawlessly.
I always enjoy your videos/shorts.
Something tells me Barb is going to be visited by three Christmas ghosts tonight
😂
this comment 👏🏻😂
Probably the ghosts got lost cause this is the bad ending the future one warn you about
Genius, next Christmas we need this
Legit would scream to watch that adaptation 😂😂😂😂
I've thoroughly enjoyed everything you've done, but this Christmas video is the best work you've done to date. It was so uplifting and a wonderful story. I've especially enjoyed watching the growth & maturation of Jennifer and in this episode I saw that Frank isn't standoffish, stoic or uninvolved, he's just quiet and soft spoken. Good work. May you continue for many years to come.
I get the vibe that Frank has been so manipulated and emotionally abused that he just hides in plain sight to survive. 😢
Noticed that he wears the same color shirt as Greg
I immediately "ran" to the longer version as I didn't want to miss Frank's brilliant one line sentence that flattened Barb! Shawna, may I say that your character development and acting is first rate! Is there an award for these things!? Barb's competition that she has with Jennifer is really unnerving. How she wanted to be happy when she felt that she had made Jennifer upset is all sorts of nastiness, cruelty, and selfish. My goodness...Who the hell hurt her!?
barb is a self fulfilling prophecy. i know its just you wearing different costumes but ive never wanted to jump through a screen and scream at someone SO BAD
9:49 I love how even Frank defends them. ❤
The acting is so good you forget it’s one person. I’m so invested now.
BARB!!! WOW. I was kinda rooting for her. Even Frank was disappointed. 🤷🏿♀️
I am way too invested in basically the same person.
Was just thinking that. Shawna does such a good job of raising the stakes and keeping them there and making us all root for all of them. Not to mention creating such distinct characters!
@@kemhug2623 you are not alone in being so invested in this.
True, it's the same way with Bistro Huddy. Like these are real people to me lol, I am so invested in their life
WHY AM I LITERALLY CRYING?? Shawna, you have NAILED IT once again! Barb literally does not learn and some people are just like that. And to think I was literally rooting for her... And now Jennifer and Greg are getting MARRIED!! AAAAAAAA OHMYGOSH I'm SO EXCITED!! Jen really REALLY changed for the better (thanks to Greg and motherhood LOL) and I'm so proud of her development. And Katie seems like THE BEST mother-in-law to have!! Feel bad for Greg on that part lol. Best Christmas ever!!
Seriously though, your acting is AMAZING and I am WAY too invested in this series now. No turning back!
The little one refusing to say a word to her Grandma Barb until the very end with a very happy "Goodbye Grandmother" 😂😂😂😂 I love all of it but I really love all those little details. Wow this was so good & so relatable. I watched the TH-cam Shorts, but seeing it all put together really sheds some emphasize on how everyone was feeling.
BARB NOOOOOO! I literally screamed. I’m so glad no one told barb. Even Frank. Go Frank.
Actions have consequences.
This series needs to be shown, as a masterclass in dealing with people, narcissists specifically.
You are an amazing writer and actor. Thankyou.
I can't believe how invested I am in this I'm literally crying by the end 😭😭 I'm SO proud of how far you've come with these skits and characters and how amazing you are at bringing life to people ALL PLAYED BY YOU!! Thank you for this 🙏😭❤️
I knew things were gonna go off the rails when Barb found out Greg's mom was there when Jennifer found out she was pregnant. 😬 I LOVE that Barb faced real consequences for her actions.
I'm so disappointed in Barbs choices. I really hope being alone on christmas puts perspective on things. Oh my god Shawna you killed this Christmas special!! Extremely well done, merry Christmas to you and yours ❤💚
Your storytelling, acting, character arcs, scriptwriting ... SUPERB! Just excellent.
Second this ☝️! All day...Everyday!
👏👏👏
This is awesome!! I love that even Frank stood up to Barb and didnt just go get a cookie. He is MAD. Which of course he his! He wanted to see his daughter get engaged too and she ruined it. I love that Shawna and John did not make their daughter say please because Barb clearly did not deserve any respect at that moment. I think she understood at least that barb upset her aunt
“Shawna would be cackling with laughter right now” made me so happy. This was fantastic
I like that they all chose to be responsible and just left. I feel like in the heat of the moment id be making it worse by yelling at Barb and pointing out that Greg never said he was going to propose AT Barb's house ON Christmas day.
But Shawna and John being on the same page seemingly without needing to discuss: Is time to G-O- GET OUT.
Relationship Goals, I meant to say
I love how Jennifer went first, in a calm manner, just making the statement of "I don't want to be here" and everyone followed her in solidarity.
I wonder what the conversation between Frank and Barb
I literally got tears in my eyes when Greg asked Jen to marry him. Such amazing acting and characters. And scripting! Love the kids and Katie. So much work and such amazing payoff. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
“So only me” Barb constantly has phrases that ignore the fact that others are around her.
Like Frank is right there dude
I can tell you right now, Barb is going to want to dance with Greg at the wedding before Katie.
I hope she gets put on a no-entry list. I was truly hoping she'd get a redemption arc after Thanksgiving, but sometimes people just will not change.
I was thinking the same thing. Not sure if she’s getting invited to the wedding.
That has EWWWWWW written allll over it. And you're exactly right in your guess. I could very well see that happening. They could run away and elope, but they'd be hearing about that for the rest of their lives!
She will want to dance with Greg before JENNIFER!!! 😡😂
Barb should not be invited. That will fit her victim narrative better anyway.
Am I the only one who laughs and cries and gets mad with all of these characters? You are so talented and honestly work so hard at every skit you do. Congratulations ♥️ Merry Christmas!
No! I laugh, cry, get pissed along with them all lol It's as if they are real people I know haha
I’m AMAZED at how believable the dialogue is! SHAWNATHEMOM is an artiste!
“Why’d you do it, Barb?” With that scolding look from their dad was GREAT. We hardly ever hear him speak and having that one big moment of clear disappointment and acknowledging her wrongdoing was just… Magnifique! 🙏 Merry Christmas you beautiful healthy individuals!
Let Barb stew in her misery, she’s spent so much time seasoning it after all…
Stooppp... I'm literally crying at 12:30 am at Jennifer's apology to Greg, then happy tears at Greg's response, and then more happy tears at the end.
I never imagined I'd ever feel so bad for Jennifer I'd ugly cry when she broke down, but here we are... Lol
This is the comic relief I need! My mom did something very similar for the 100th time in August. I haven’t spoken to her since and today I get a text from her husband telling me to find forgiveness in my heart bc somehow she’s the victim AGAIN!!!
I’m so very sorry
I'm sorry. That is hard
We chose to express it differently. We chose to forgive - not because they had changed, not because the next time will be diffrent but because we realized that this is who they have always been and it was not something new or hidden about them and it was our fault on putting an expectation that they behave and treat us in a way they have no capability or intention in actually doing.
But although we have forgiven them we will not be taking steps in reestablishing a relationship with them as that is not the type of person we want to associate with in our lives anymore. That we wish them the best with the rest of their lives but they will no longer be a part of ours.
@@Kiki-uu6pc Thank you. I’m not very tactful when expressing my feelings but you’ve just said it perfectly and respectfully. I can just copy and paste!
Forgive her because you deserve it. You deserve to heal and move on and be happy. It is what I had to do for 20+ years. For my own sanity.