Womansplaining Men to Women Compilation: 52-55
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
- Ladies: MEN DO THEIR HOMEWORK TOO. Your social medias are your resume in the dating world. The things you MAKE PUBLIC will determine whether or not you get a callback.
This compilation goes deep into how WHAT YOU POST can and WILL backfire if it's toxic enough.
Please also enjoy my series Womansplaining Women to Men (after all, life is about balance) and my Partner Shaming series to see what NOT to do.
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That's not even ghosting. Ghosting is when someone just stops communicating with you without warning. If someone tells you why they don't want to date, that's not ghosting, that's just straight up rejection.
The ghosting one was a different tiktok from the one where the guy explains himself
Frankly you dont need to tell anyone anything. Ghosting is when you on purpose ignore someone to be mean. Just not wanting to talk to someone will never be ghosting.
He was even polite and told her exactly why. He was as honest as one could possibly be.
@@Mornomgir No, ghosting is when something already exists between you and another person, and one of you wants out, but doesn't want to have to say so because they feel awkward about it. I was ghosted not that long ago. I had started talking with a girl, we were having weekend long chats and frequent contact in between. We met in person, and seemed to hit it off, spent all day walking around the city and talking. I drove eight hours round trip for that date. Over dinner, she said she wanted to keep things going.
As soon as I got home, contact completely ended. Not wanting to seem needy or desperate, I sent messages at our regular pace for a couple days, then one more message a week later asking if everything was okay. My interpretation of that situation is that she lied about wanting to keep in contact, then bailed and didn't say anything, hoping I would just go away, which of course I did. And since I had started to have feelings for her a bit, the silent treatment was way more painful. If she'd just said "sorry, not interested," I could have moved on quickly and kept looking.
That, my friend, is what ghosting is. Taking the coward's way out instead of making a clean, merciful break. It's why I make a point to always tell someone if I'm not interested, and I've had many people thank me for it. What that girl did... it worsened my anxiety issues significantly. Completely avoidable, if she had only been honest.
@@johannhowitzer Correct, too many people use this incorrectly. The conversation dying off on bumble or not getting a third date isn't 'ghosting'. Ghosting is when youve reach the point it is clearly heading toward something and then
The only reason to turn down sex is low confidence? Ma'am there is a magic the gathering event EVERY friday night.
More of a D&D guy but point taken
For real where
Sir, there are MTG events EVERY NIGHT
Sounds like you're missing out
While I understand your point, I will say MTG events are lower on my priority list.
i shit you not i did once turn down a booty call because the roomies invited me to some kitchen-table MTG.
Early in our marriage, my wife started doing all the laundry. I was doing all the yard work, so I went with it. When arguments would kick up, she would take away the laundry "I'm not doing you're laundry anymore." After a couple weeks she tried to do my laundry again. I simply told her that I don't want her to do my laundry because I don't want her to use it in arguments. Bonus: I get to use whatever laundry soap I prefer. We're simple, not simpletons
Had a similar thing. After I had taken a few thing away from my girlfriend's list to mine like this, I discovered that she no longer offers me anything so I cut her out of my life.
(Very simplified)
I do my own laundry as well. Been doing it for 30 years, I can manage. No sense giving 'em more stuff to hold over your head.
My now ex used to play that game about everything. I just started pointing out that I would trade her my life responsibilities for hers on the spot without question or hesitation.
She never agreed, ever.
@@russianbot4418 I told my wife we did NOT have the budget for all the stuff she buys online, so from then on, SHE could do all the bills and handle all the finances. She quickly learned that no, we did NOT have the money for everything she wanted to buy.
@@MattStryker This is why everything is in my name.
The funny thing is that by diminishing a guys self confidence those women are making him MORE likely to cheat, since he's so used to being treated like crap the minute somebody comes along who doesn't treat him like crap it suddenly looks like a really good option.
Not that I approve of infidelity, because I don't, but you're definitely on to something.
Can confirm, I hooked up with my ex when my gf at that time treated me like crap just to get an emotional break. It was a really ugly and complicated mess and without revealing all the details it ended up with me being in the hospital with a concussion and her kids (not mine) being traumatised from her screaming and breaking stuff while I was just trying to pack my sack and leave.
Its been proven more then once that if women deny sex to their man, the more likely he is to get it somewhere else. One of the main reason for a man to support a woman is for that simple reason. Obviously there's the need to provide and be needed sure or have a family that comes into play. But fundementaly that is one of the big things.
Women on the other hand admit they step out because ofthe excitement. Also women are more likely to sleep with married men compared to single ones because the married man has been vetted by another women. (low value women do this especially.) Look up the amount of stories women post of how they stopped getting attention the moment she had a ring on vs how her husband somehow got increase attention from other women.
A piece of advice I have gotten for potential kids in my future is "Tell them you love them, because if you don't some jerk is going to say it and they'll believe that jerk". The same applies to partners in a relationship. If you just constantly emotionally abuse them, no matter if its a guy or a girl, the second someone else comes along and offers them emotional comfort, comfort you're not giving, they will take that comfort.
Woman: Why is it the sub-par MF's always ghost you?
Men: Why do you feel like the world will end if you don't go on another date with the same sub-par MF? Explain your overwhelming need to date the sub-par MF.
My ex once asked me if I was ever going to stop seeing her as my mother. Our relationship was already so far gone that I didn't dare say it out loud (she had immense explosive anger issues), but the immediate thought in my head was "When you stop seeing me as a child."
It’s such a chicken and the egg situation. So many women “being treated like mothers” are the ones who started by treating their partners like children.
@@Mr.Heller Is the egg's type determined by the creature who laid it or the creature inside it? Wouldn't the egg be a Red junglefowl egg, just with a chicken in it? Chickens lay unfertilized eggs that are called chicken eggs despite them not containing any chicken. This is why I assert the chicken came first, chicken egg second.
@@Mr.Heller But then there's a question of "what percentage does a chicken need to be a chicken, in order to be classified as a chicken?"
As in, even if you are selectively breeding birds, there's still going to be a gradient, where said birds are slowly becoming more and more chicken-like over several generations. You basically need to draw an arbitrary line, otherwise you can never really say "OK, Generation N is not a chicken, but generation N+1 is". The differences between generations, AFAIK, are too minute for you to be able to do that.
I do, however, agree with the egg notion, simply because egg layers existed way before birds, and as such - the egg had to come first.
I mean technically, before chickens eggs were around in dinosaurs, in reptiles, in lizards, in amphibians, and in fish.
Eggs by far predate chicken.
Point is, she sees him as an egg long before he treats her as a chicken.
You have to infer from the problem that the egg in question is specifically a chicken egg, otherwise there would be no point in asking about it.
What's really the question here is if a specific creature existed before or only after that specific creature's type of egg. I posit that the egg that specific creature hatched from is the egg of it's parent (different) creature and as such the specific creature had to come first and it's own type of egg was laid by it afterwards.
I met one of that "All men are thrash/jerks" type a few weeks ago. I asked, "If all men are jerks, why are you talking to one?!" and she answered, "But you are different". Mind you we only spoke like 5 minutes before this via text. I asked, "HOW are you sure? I could be the biggest jerk of all time." she was like "I just know". I knew she was bullsh*tting. And I completely lost interest. I informed her that. She kept messaging me and I felt uncomfortable. I told her to not talk to me after some texts, yet she messaged me the next day. I just stopped answering to her.
I am not interested in someone who calls EVERY SINGLE MALE a Thrash or Jerk. That is blatant sexism. But it is completely fine when women be sexist against men, right? SMH.
About 10 years ago I was really into a girl. We started to get to know each other and the "all men" rhetoric came out. I asked, if she thought that of all men, what does she think of me? She relied, present company excluded. I tried to explain why I was a tad offended and she couldn't understand. And then she hit me with, if you're offended, you must be one of "those" men. If it didn't apply to me, I wouldn't be offended. We stopped talking after that.
Because the plastic D in the drawer is just no replacement for the real thing.
You avoided love bombing. Let’s go!!!!
Then when you asked them if it's OK to say that "all women are evil, toxic bitches' they get offended. Or if you ask them about fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, etc if they are under the 'One of THOSE men, too?' things get quiet. Or they double down and it's doomed anyway.
Honestly a woman who says all men are (Choose your negative adjective here) says more about her and her decision making process.
Man: doesn’t do schedules, doesn’t control finances
Woman: omg he thinks I’m his mother and I have to do everything around here
Meanwhile:
Man: controls finances, makes schedule and leads family
Woman: omg he’s so controlling and emotionally abusive, I have no control of my own life!!!!
Can't win so men quit. I have. Can't turn a 304 into a housewife.
@@xtremefps_ Well, the hookers are cheaper anyways. And more honest.
@@xtremefps_ Yeah, I was blackpilled years ago myself. I gave up hope so long ago that I don't even remember what it feels like.
Consistency is the tool of the patriarchy
The thing is there’s a middle ground between doing her everything and him doing everything. We want someone who will work on things as a team.
Your story about your husband helping you with nursing bras is HILARIOUS. 😂
And oddly, very accurate.
I laughed out loud thinking the same thing. We men are problem solvers...just point is at the problem!
@@RichD22554 oddly enough I’m a bit of a problem solver too. It’s gotten to the point where I ask (usually other women) “do you want me to problem solve or do you just want me to listen?”. I have upset many other women with my problem solving tendencies
@@samanthacousland870 My wife is the same way. We joke that we behave opposite of our stereotypical genders. I have to often lead venting conversations with "I am not looking for a solution..." then start to vent. She adjusts (which I greatly appreciate) and all is gravy. Meanwhile, if she starts venting it is in my best interest, if I can, to provide a couple solutions (opposed to being empathetic telling her, "that's rough, I'd feel the same way, I'm sorry babe").
@@samanthacousland870 I saw a man give this advice two young men on his video. He realized that there is a difference between his wife wanting to vent, and needing to work out a problem. He learned to make sure which one was needed by directly asking. Then he adjusted to what was needed at the time.
"resentment fodder for later" YESSS. People need to stop collecting emergency reasons to be upset. Can we collect emergency reasons to be happy with someone instead?
Something you can look too when you're mad as "this is the reason I still love him/her"
The last relationship I was in, that's what we did. Mostly because we loved each other and wanted to be together. Yes, we had arguments. Yes, we got angry with each other. Yes, we had quirks that we each hated about each other. But, we would "cool off" and then come back later as if the argument didn't happen and just be wonderful to each other again. It was just generally easier for us to remember the reasons why we were together and the reasons we were madly in love.
@@XxTaiMTxX why didn't it work out tho
@@TheRhalf Because there was no way she was ever going to leave her family to move somewhere else with me. And, there was no way I was going to pass up an opportunity to earn more money. I didn't ask her to sacrifice being close to her family and she never asked me to sacrifice parts of my life goals to be with her. It was just easier to part amicably than build resentment toward each other in the future.
@@XxTaiMTxX that sucks...I've never been in that situation so I wont try to form an opinion, but I do hope you've either found another that's for those qualities or that you will in the future
@@notrelatedtobacon1282you'll find it easier finding a wheat stalk in a forest of needles and pins than a woman who doesn't collect resentment reasons
I noticed that saying no to women was going to be toxic about 10-15 years ago when I realized that most women I met had never heard the word before in their life.
Lol yea a couple of years ago I was helping a french woman with her English and she was in sales so helping me brand marketing, Sora over coffee deal, I guess we got too close or I was giving off the wrong vibes but she leaned in for a kiss and when I stopped her and pointed out she knew I was in a relationship she broke down in tears. I was the first guy to say no to her. She was 42! and I was 33. Her last boyfriend I think she tried to poach also. She kept saying she falls for guy she can't have. Meh I doubt that's the problem, she was just a poacher
@@jhnshepyeah, most women are. They see a taken man and think "oh, well if other women want him he must have something valuable to offer" totally ignoring the fact that any man THEY poached, is poachable by others
@@dillongage I saw a tweet or similar post recently where a woman advises to steal the "good" men who are in relationships rather than going for single men, because there clearly must be something "wrong" with them. My immediate thought was "And what? You think that logic doesn't apply to you?"
@@dillongage RIGHT i never saw the logic in that.
and being a OVERLY logical male... means there is none.
If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. Never go for a taken man/woman because if they're willing to cheat they're low value. A lot of the younger generations seem to consider cheating to be a bit like a sport when I've spoken to them about it and when I've said "that's fine, enjoy your youth but understand that the reputation you make now will follow you" they've pretty much ignored. Now I've seen some of the girls complain about how no guy wants to be with them beyond one night stands and that they can't secure a guy for more than 5 minutes. Umm, darling, all the guys you're complaining about either have watched you cheat on every guy they know, or you've cheated on them, what did you expect? Anyone looking for a long term, secure relationship isn't going to go with the person that's proven to be a cheat.
One of my personal favorite "ghost jobs".
"Blind date", set up by a coworker while we were on the clock in a different city for a job. I never knew this was happening until we arrived at the restaurant.
The day from my perspective.
Up at 3 am for a 5:30 am flight after a 4 hour flight and a 2 hour orientation of the venues/job site for the next day. Being given instructions and a 20 pages of instructions/notes for the job that we needed to review just incase.
We get to the hotel, check in took forever they screwed up the reservations, the hotel restaurant was closed.
He said dont sorry we are going to a restaurant nearby with private booths, my thought was great we can review the notes and set up a plan.
I am a high functioning neuro divergent and I was basically done by this point.
But I was all for pushing through, getting a plan in place so it was no longer part of my mental mental load, going into a day of dealing with strangers.
we arrived at the restaurant, it is nearly 9pm, I am famished I just want food and sleep. By coworker, bolts for the bathroom. So I ask the wait staff for a menu, they look at me slightly confused because I had not been seated, i told the girl just let me see it I am exhausted and want to know what I am ordering before I sit down, my waitress overheard this asked what the problem was, I said I just wanted to figure out my order before I sat down because I was hungry. She looks at me and says go with the special I can have it on your table in 10 minutes. Tells me it a and steak medium rare will have it on the table in 10. I said rare works just fine, waitress replies "Perfect! See you in 8".
Her beeper goes off and I get seated, I pull the binder of notes/instructions out of my bag and start reading.
Next thing i know some woman sits down asks if I am "max", me very confused says yes with a sideways look. She says perfect sits her arse down then introduces herself, before she bursts into babbling brook levels of verbal vomit. I did not hear a thing it was full on peanuts speak and my just vaguely agreeing or saying continue.
The waitress shows up, food in hand, clearly as confused as I am. Asks to take the woman's order, as she sets my bloody steak down in front of me. She goes off about being vegan and that meat is murder, i look at the waitress and said clearly she needs a menu the special wont do.
This random woman is clearly uncomfortable as I am scarffing down this delicious steak, but she keeps talking. I am reduced to primal grunts at this point because food in mouth, good.
I have no clue my coworker is shagging this woman's friend in the women's bathroom.
Waitress gets back with waters and the menu, asks if there is anything else we need, I said Deseret between bits, she just ginned and nodded, it was part of the special a little chocolate cake.
Waitress gets back andthis woman that has been running her mouth as amazing background noise the entire time I was eating orders a 75$ seafood plate and a 110$ bottle of wine. My dinner was 30.
My coworker finally shows up as I am downing the last 2 bites of dinner with his bimbo in tow. They sit down at the table stinking like a sushi bar that had not been cleaned in a month. I am thankful ly done eating at this point.
The two of them order 90$ in food and another bottle of the same wine, him chuckling about how he can just expense it.
- We can't, we had max 50$ each for food/drink for day one. Client dinner authorization was only valid for the actual days of the event and alcohol is never covered.
I excuse myself from the table get the waitress's attention pay her in cash, including tip and ask her to prep the receipt while I use the bathroom.
I dipped out.
The next day my coworker is 4 hours late, the convention doors have been open to the public for well over an hour and he smells like a rotting fish and wine. This idiot then proceeds to tell me I am incredibly rude for passing up on that piece of A, that was into me, and my dark mysterious aura... if I wanted he would call them back for dinner later that night. I said no thanks I like my girlfriend, I did not have a girlfriend at the time.
I went back to the restaurant and asked the waitress if she was free later that night or the afternoon the next say, she was not free but appreciated the offer.
This was a wiiiiild story. I have to ask - what do you do for work?
@@thedadvocate lets just go with, working in computers and server racks.
Funniest part was the new head of sales was part of the kiosk crew, we did not know this at the start of the convention. I was just there as a technical advisor, because my boss aka the person that should have been there. Was in a car accident a week before hand and decided staying home was the better option.
My soon to be ex coworker basically shot himself in the foot from the word go, he got into an argument about his stank with the head of sales who asked him to go shower.
Nuts. That coworker sounds like an incredible drag
Ngl, this pissed me off.
If you're gonna force your "help/plans" on people, at least communicate them properly.
@@HiddenRealmYea that kinda just blew the whole story out of the water.
The woman who said that women should never do anything or give anything to their men made my stomach clench up. That sort of hurt in a strange way because as a very average guy, I’ve never had any women do anything nice for me or even give me a genuine compliment until I met my wife.
Women should know by now than men do not receive random kindness, almost ever. And to think that there are women out there who want it to stay that way is disturbing. They literally do not see us as humans.
I can relate to this. Was 25 the first time a girl said that spending time with me made her happy. Didn’t know how to handle the way that felt and bawled my eyes out once I was home.
I had been neglected of that kind of treatment for so long that I didn’t even know it existed.
I've told more than one woman "I'll climb mountains for you if you'll cross the street for me." My standards are very low, i just need you to make a minimal effort. They won't even do that most of the time, and it sucks.
The amount of baggage energy she had coming out of each and every pore was intense.
I'll never understand those people who think they're 'humbling' anyone by making themselves look bad. You didn't 'humble' that 'toxic' guy, you just lowered his opinion of you.
The guy's opinion of her was already low enough to reject her but I guess making it even worse and putting yourself on blast is somehow a win... more like a self own than anything else 😆
OP, your profile pic is my steam accounts picture, and no, I do not have the same name there
It’s not humbling, it’s spite. They are just in denial about what they are actually doing. Lashing out at people because they are hurt to make themselves feel better. Avoid those people, they are toxic.
This woman gives me hope. And not just hope that there are good women out there but that I don’t have to devolve into a complete misogynist
I was one for awhile because my upbringing was with horrible women, it stayed that way until I meet my therapist. She was so kind and actually listened without making me feel guilty or belittle my feelings, it was then I realized that I didn't hate women but rather I hated people that just happened to be women. I'm glad I got her as a therapist because I requested a man when I started seeking help, I guess all it takes is a small thing like that to give you a little hope that the world isn't as terrible as you originally thought
@@scarletjester7831 Seems like mysogyny is caused by shit women, and not just women in general.
I think a lot of guys who struggle with this are more gynophobic than misogynistic
nah thanks, i'll take being a misogynist.
@@drakoan are you serious? Like for real was that a joke?
So, that girl that thinks she's too good for the guy that ghosted her: She ran into what I call "The 15 minute rule". You meet a person, and they are however attractive they are too you physically. After about 15 minutes, the small talk is over, and the personality kicks in, and that person gets either more or less attractive from that point on. The girl on the video obviously made it so the way to 0.
"There's only one reason why men never initiate, it's their self-confidence!"
Yeah, we never have migraines, get tired, sick, angry at you, stressed, pre-occupied with something else, physically hurt...
I mean, I definitely still wanted to initiate after I had a procedure done on my thing and was literally bleeding and bandaged down there. That was purely my self-confidence being low.
Or when the sex has gotten so duty sex that you just wanna disappear off somewhere… but u r stuck in it for the kids
Why would ANY man initiate 'relations' after the decade of #metoo and #believe all women?
If I were still dating, I'd pay the money to have a lawyer draw up a consent contract and print them ten at a time.
-
Sign here, initial here, put today's date... now do the same for your copy and my lawyer's copy...
I noticed a trend where women will complain about how they do all the chores. Often it's not true cause they just don't see everything the guy does, but when it is true, it's often her own fault because when he tries to help he isn't "doing it right" and/or she does not give him the opportunity to actually do stuff before getting frustrated and doing it herself. Guys will give up and let you do it if you aren't happy with their help, especially if they get nagged at less for not helping then for doing it wrong. It doesn't matter exactly how you load a dishwasher or wipe a countertop, as long as the stuff is clean after. Just let him do it and be happy.
so true
The man has to agree that the chore needs to be done also.
Just call them on it… make sure they know they cant have it both ways. The mistake is to let it slide.
I've wondered about this strategy: If it takes you an hour to do all your necessary chores. It takes your mate five hours to do all their necessary chores, your mate gets to assign you one hour of chores, done exactly how they want it done. They will find they have four and a half hours left of chores. They saved half an hour of perfectly executed chores. You work no harder than you used to, they get a little help without compromise. Totally fair solution, that would be flatly rejected by the OCD partner who's actually expecting you to become their clone, but... you tried.
To be fair, sometimes people are actually bad at some chores and if you are bad at most of them, it's fair for the partner to be frustrated with you. It's even worse if you are careless enough to, say, not notice stains you make on the table or ignore dust until it's so thick the shelves look gray hense making them do those chores more often. It is possible I guess to divide responsibilities and compensate by doing different things, like "I'm cooking you do dishes" for example, but in that case you should be actually good at the other stuff you do.
I am a lesbian and am often considered the one "wearing the pants", as I have many behaviors that are apparently "masculine".
But I have NEVER known just how little I actually know about men until I watched your series.
I understand many of my friends that much more now.
Our brains are wired very differently.
Men and women are, on a biological, social, evolutionary and religious level, distinct.
A lot of big things can be broken down into the following, now not _all_ men are like this but strong averages:
The one big thing she hasn't gone over much that I can think of is that while men do basically no hinting or tests, there is ONE subtle test I know most men do, which is to stop initiating. Men are expected to start most things, but after a time a man will just... not initiate, at least not until you do. Activity and talking, this is a test to try and get you to start it. He's not ghosting you, he wants you to say start the activity/conversation this time. If he wants to leave then he'll just say it if you prod him.
Men do not affirm or talk about feelings but instead take an issue it's as if a game, a challenge, or a job to complete depending on the severity. If the man can't see a way to improve or solve it that's when he _really_ begins to stress out and collapse, affirmation isn't the key he just wants a solution to work towards. Similarly he won't generally offer much affirmation but rather try to provide ways to solve it. You might have to explicitly state this and explain it to him.
Men are more aggressive on average and greater risk takers. This is not a bad thing, that also means ambitious and less worried generally, more willing to stand up.
Men are blunt and literal, unless it's for teasing purposes it's going to be taken as fully literal and meant with little to no hidden meaning.
Men like women, really like women. Society has never hated women, it has considered women as childish and in need of protection or guidance in a way a child might, but men are willing to die ten at a time to recover a single woman's body that they knew. That has happened and is a well-observed phenomenon in military units where co-ed was permitted.
Men are not as socially literate as women are, they spend far more time physically and express aggression and frustration physically more than socially, thus they don't understand passive-aggressiveness and don't understand hints. They do understand reputation destruction, which is a sort of "violent" behavior common of women. Understand that when a woman publicly shames her man and tear down his reputation what is being done is in a woman's behavior the equivalent of the man engaging in physically striking her.
Ah yes Lesbians, the only women who truly understand what living with a woman entails.
Let me buy you a pint
Hey, while you are her, If you are the 'man' does that mean you are blamed for everything?
i am glad it helps you understand your male friends more my Lesbian friends and I bounce issues off each other that we would normally be afraid to tell the other sex, I find out way more about women she understands men a bit more and our friendship is strong because of it. Its like having a guy friend with some super secret play book to understanding women that you can just refer to at a moments notice.
So, I'm a man. I love this series. You are funny, and managed to explain things that even I didn't really understand about myself. Also, it is EXTREMELY refreshing to see a woman not hate all men. Kudos!
Yeah same, she be speaking truth
ik right dude shes so accurate about how our brains work
The reason for this is cause a content /happy woman will not be posting anything on tiktoc, they are busy enjoying life. Bitter/unhappy women have plenty of time to post on tiktoc.
@@crazylegs1823 Very true. For a lot of things in the world, loud minorities make it seem worse than it is. Some people just don't care enough to say anything.
Real empowerment doesn't require tearing someone else down. If you need to do that to feel good about yourself, you're insecure, not empowered.
It might not be insecurity, it might be psychopathy or sociopathy. Narcissistic people don't have the ability to feel insecure, only the ability to shamelessly self-aggrandize, regardless of the truth of the matter, because they lack the ability to consider others ... at all.
Go be proud that you're empowered, but don't hate me for some credit
And possibly a bully.
I will NEVER understand why single women take dating advice from angry, single women instead of women who have been in loving, successful, multi-year relationships? Why are you listening to some bitter stranger online when you could be listening to your happy grandmother? Just baffling and another proof that I will never understand the female mind.
Because "all men are thrash"
My guess is that it's because people who are upset often want validation and commiseration, rather than (or at least prior to) advice. That's a human thing, not a woman-specific thing.
Men who have experienced rejection or heartbreak will often gravitate towards other men in the same boat. As long as that behavior is short-lived, and people eventually realize that not all members of the opposite sex are like that person who rejected them or cheated on them or whatever, then it's just a natural phase. It's only problematic when people get stuck on hating the opposite sex.
If they had someone positive they were willing to listen to (and who was someone they considered a good role model), they probably wouldn’t be in the boat they are in.
Chances are, grandma is exhausted and burnt out from having to raise her daughters kid (who now can’t stand her even/especially if she’s right), or died of cancer years ago, or is stuck in a damaged and abusive narcissistic relationship, etc. etc.
It’s easy to shoulds/coulda’s, but most people are in the situation they are in because they either cannot or will not see other choices than the ones they make - either due to real problems, or things that are too scary/overwhelming for them to consider for various reasons.
Lotta single men take dating advice from angry single men. Not really a gender thing.
I ended things with a woman after she spouted off "believe all women" after her male friend brought up false accusations and I shared my story with him while we were at the bar.
Having to cut off women who parrot communist party slogans really narrows that dating pool.
I've been single for well over a decade, and have had like.... three? Maybe five? Dates in that time. Series like this make me feel both more prepared to date again and more glad that i haven't been.
Absolutely same, I’ve had Max three, and one of which was a friend date that I didn’t know could have been a real one.
Hints suck ass for that very reason, because she was awesome.
You aren't missing much
That last one is a skill, lovingly honed as he learned his craft. Respect.
Two things: One of those stories reminded me of something my dad told me years ago, "No matter how hot she is, some guy somewhere is tired of her shit." Yes, rejecting a hot girl is completely sane if she is someone who won't respect you. And two, I'm reminded of that Huey Lewis song "If This Is It" that goes, "...so let me go, or make me want to stay." It is amazing how well you understand us.
I say the same thing about Someone, Somewhere is sick of their shit, but not just some One. Probably more like at least 3 or 4 people. Because this goes Both Ways
That girl complaining about getting ghosted knows she's not a 10, right?
Like... I know I'm not, and that's why I don't go "oh she didn't want to hang out with the hot guy again f her"
Her unjustified, fake self confidence while screaming about how insecure she is...
i mean she acts like a 10
year old
I think girls can be notoriously bad at rating people, especially themselves. If only because of how others behave around them.
Men typically get it told straight to them by other men and women. They can more or less objectively rate themselves and others. For better or worse, harsh criticism is the norm for most men.
Women on the other hand, tend to prefer protecting their friends feelings more than telling the truth. It's always comments like "you are the prettiest" or "don't listen to what others say, you are perfect the way you are" or "he doesn't deserve you, you are way out of his league", etc. This probably makes some girls really believe that they are 9s or 10s, because no one they trust ever told them about their flaws.
I think this also goes the other way, were some girls getting bullied a lot will believe that they are way more ugly than they really are.
most women over rate themselves by at least 3 points they have no self awarness
Also, remember the line? a 10, 10 is not _below_ the line
Unhinged narcissism from using social media. You can't fix women like that. They are pathologically incapable of self reflection.
"Next time you call a guy subpar, make sure you are not crying over him first." 👏👏👏👏👏👏
I honestly hate when a partner cleans after me, if I have made a mess I am aware of it and have made a mental note of when I will clean it. Having someone come up to a dish right next to me and clean it only gives me the fear they're gonna use that as a guilt trip in the future.
Couldn't agree more.
Is that last Part a general thing, or specifically related to cleaning?
Because if it's general, I hope you find a way to unlearn it.
Looking for ways to help ones partner is a common and, for many, very important way to express love.
It would be a huge loss for both of you if your anxiety denies them that avenue completely.
I just finished the entire playlist and I'm mildly frightened by how accurate a lot of these are.
Same here. We need to put more money into cloning ASAP.
Classic reply from women when you do something for her…. I didn’t ask you to do it. Classic reply when she expected you to do something, “you should just know”
when a woman says "I didn’t ask you to do it" well or anyone really, usually it means you have a problem too. its someone getting defensive, often when someone is trying to manipulate him or her by making him/her feel bad about something to get something. it didn't come out of the blue you kinda need to say i did that and that etc before. if you hear this sentence alot, look inside to see if you can improve on anything since yourself is the only person you truly have power over.
the second classic reply you posted doesn't mean anything specific , some stuff should not be needed to ask for if its very obvious like if you ran out of milk in the morning for your coffee you should probably figure out on your own to bring back milk for the kids when you come back from the store. nothing to worry really about this sentence though without context but the 1st one is not something you want or should hear alot.
@@subspace666 I disagree with using the term “usually”, as that has rarely been my experience. Rather, my experience has been either “you didn’t do what I asked”, which really means it wasn’t a request but a command, or when trying to be proactive and it isn’t done the one true proper way it needs to be done.
But let’s walk through the out of milk example. He sees in the morning they’re out of milk. He gets milk on the way home. She also got milk. “Hey, I got milk too!” 🙄 I didn’t ask you to get milk. Next time that happens he doesn’t get milk. 🙄 you should just know we need milk.
And yes, communication is key, but the impetus need not be in the man to read minds. It could happen in either direction but if you were to do a statistically valid survey, I’m willing to bet one side hears it more than the other.
@@gilmanc well i was mostly using the context of events you said, you did say it happens to you alot and the term classic woman reply, implies its multiple woman this indicated a possible common denominator situation but sure its still possible to get unlucky and only get multiple cunts in a row. i was just saying that classic reply can indicate inner problems without further information, your post was pretty vague and short.
@@subspace666 victim blaming men
@@subspace666 or y'know, "you never help me with anything!" "But I do this, this, and this." "Well I never asked you to!"
8:43 100% exactly correct. I was seeing this girl for a couple weeks, I always contacted her, I always asked her out, etc. and she started slowly getting more & more distant. So I let her. She texts me randomly out of the blue “sorry I’ve been so distant and quiet lately, but I want you to know I still care about you.”
Left it on read. Sell it to some other sucker.
Those are quite words, perhaps actions would have spoken louder.
@@christophercrafte precisely.
...Well shit, I've used those words with people too, but not in the context of relationships. I just haven't been able to shake an intense depression since mid 2020. I wonder how many people think me trying to reach out is just me trying to string them along.
@@TheRedstonian context is key.
@@TheRedstonian its mainly tied to actions. a friend of mine knew someone who would basically never talk to him after a certain point. and everytime my friend would try again and sometimes they get back "sorry Im just dealing with a lot of stuff right now."
or "I haven't had the internet for months so I cannot get on to talk" This went on for a while, the point is you have to show you care and aren't just "too busy" otherwise why would the other person try to reach out to you? since you wouldn't reach out to them.
I'm just glad the girl in #54 is hanging her red flags out for everyone to see instead of hiding them behind the couch.
In the wise words of my grandfather “relationships are not a competition”
I'm winning, ner ne ner ne ner nerr
Oh you mean with each other, right.
Yeah, there’s a distinction between “sexy mommy” vibes and actual mother vibes. A guy doesn’t want you to (s)mother him; but he might dig some hot babysitter energy. There’s caregiver vibes of affection and attention that don’t belittle him. That’s what he wants. Unless he has some humiliation kink or something, but even then I suspect he would compartmentalize that.
100%. A nurturing woman is hot af. An overbearing naggy woman is not. If we aren't cuddling in bed, knock it off with the mommy stuff.
Hard dig on the "sexy mommy" vibes. It's so hard to find people who understand the difference.
@@StarboyXL9 It's not my cup of tea and I avoid women like that romantically, but I can still clearly tell the difference between that and someone who's just being his mother.
Sexy mommy? Whooooooa I don't think I'm ready for that one yet, you do you though
"Hot babysitter energy" is a neat term.
I’ve only ever been in one relationship before and didn’t realize fully until after it was over how one sided it was. I mean I sort of knew, but made excuses because she had college stress and depression and family conflict so I just said “Well she’s going through a lot right now, when things calm down it’ll get better,”. I realized later she put NO effort into our relationship.
For an example, I’d drive 10+ hours to visit her at college but she never once drove the 40 minutes it took to get from my house to her house when she was back with her parents.
Now when I’m looking for a relationship, I’m looking for someone who wants me just like I want them and who is willing to put in effort just as I put in effort. I don’t want to be left feeling hollow and unloved again because the person who should be there for me doesn’t give a crap outside what I can do for them.
That second clip reminds me of Dave Chappelle’s line; “Chivalry *is* dead; and women killed it.” And I distinctly remember how hard everyone in the crowd laughed; but especially the men and any of the older women who had a ring on their finger.
women who say "I don't need a man" immediately demote themselves to side chick status. Men are far more likely to wife up a woman who can wholeheartedly depend on him (ie. NEED him). I recently was in a conversation with a woman who was raving about her current relationship. She specifically said "I told him 'I don't need you... but I want you' " I immediately asked if he put a ring on her finger yet, and she said "no". They've been together for years.
This is a classic case of women believing that men want the same things women want. I've heard MANY women say that when a man who doesn't need her, but WANTS her... that's hot. But men need to be needed. To men THAT'S what's hot. Men generally won't wife up lukewarm.
Yup, because wants can change as we age but our needs rarely do
Thing is, in this day and age it has become rather normal to not actually "need" a partner, as in, being unable to live life without one. We all go through a few years of living alone, we know, more or less, how to keep our household in some working order, and we make our own money, men and women alike. If we want to continue as a species, we men need to adapt to not really being needed, same as women need to adapt to picking up their end of the proverbial couch. Failing that, all we'll get is growing groups of unhappy singles.
Well if you measure love in intent to marry then sure.
If they don't need me, I don't need them, it is a two way street. If you approach a guy with a "dating me is a special privilege" attitude they will respond in kind. Respect is earned, not freely given.
Exactly why would I marry or otherwise fully commit to a women whose mindset is "I wont do anything for him PURELY because I dont HAVE to"...
Relations are give and take, men start the flirting and chasing and the women keep it going afterwards
I mean lets be real what do people generally think is a more ideal relationship?
A guy with his long term gf at an outing leading his girl away from the group?
Or the girl grabbing his hand/arm and doing the same?
Most people I talk to think the latter is better looking from an outsider's POV
If the girl isnt fully invested in the guy then it just wont work
That's not a control thing it's just how I've noticed it to be, girls who are responsive in texting and communicating on top of being completely devoted and showing as such have longer and healthier relationships
Ofc the man plays his part in doing as such to but everyone agrees the man does not of the chasing anyway
She felt scorned. That’s the part she couldn’t handle.
"Hell hath no fury ...."
Thanks for pointing out that love requires risk and being vulnerable to love properly I've been saying this for years and realized a lot of people don't love because of fear of what if even though they are so close to someone that has interest in them and it's so close to being g so beautiful.
So true, but it's also one of the hardest fears to overcome when you've experienced time and time again that making yourself vulnerable will eventually be used against you by a person you thought you could trust the most.
If she says she wants 50/50, RUN. Relationship takes 100% from both partners. Been happily married almost 17 years. Not always roses but you both need to be able to laugh at yourself, and each other. In the beginning we fought over the dumbest things.
Man i love the longer format. a bunch of videos together gets me in a better headspace to apply it to my own relationship with my wife. (Not in a negative manner; but more of a "how can this help" manner) You're awesomeness.
It was pretty clear to ANY male just from that rant you posted, that she's....got some issues. Technically, he didn't "ghost" her as in not responding to her messages and just won't see her again. He was very clear and precise that her social media behavior was unacceptable to him and it wouldn't work out.
CLEARLY, he was correct. Well done, bro
I just binged this whole series, and I honestly really hope I can get my gf to watch it as well; Just so much insight into things I didn't even fully understand myself, and I'm a guy!
Plus I learned a lot about what these things are like from the woman's side!
Excellent series, and I hope it continues!
Watching these just makes me appreciate my wife so much more.
Yup. Me too. God I am scared for my kids…who will all be adults within 7 years. Too many feminazzis and just wombats.
This was so good, I had to make anote of it. "Posting their Ls thinking they're flexing". I'll probably never repeat it, but i'll chuckle when i see it.
As someone who was seduced by my loneliness into watching a lot of PUA videos when I was younger, made a LOT of stupid mistakes dating because of it, and only met my current wife when I stopped listening to toxic people, don’t listen to these toxic people. When someone tells you how to manipulate others, ask yourself: “how would I feel if this were done to me?” Classic empathy gap.
On that last note I'd like to give you a quote:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
~ C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Every woman thinks they are a 10... That's mathematically impossible.
Apparently there's an explanation of the scale going around among some women that might help understand where some women's heads are at. They think the scale is how many out of 10 men would have sex with them. Their evaluations are still ridiculous, but it does make more sense of their evaluations of themselves and others.
As much as they think 80 percent of men are below average.
It's the only version of the bell curve that is just a vertical line at the far right side of the graph
NOT SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE!!!
It's their average
Are you a Nurse? And specifically, are you a Psych Nurse? You have a gift for parsing motivation, insight, and have great empathy, with sharp critical thinking skills. I really appreciate how you dissect these dysfunctional thought patterns and behaviors so succinctly. Bravo!
This series was rather insightful into my own soul.
you are actually doing a pretty good job of explaining men to women, hopefully they will listen so they maybe can get the guy they want or atleast have a little bit more patience with their man.
and i think the number one thing women kinda gets a bit twisted about men sometimes is the thought a man will try and fuck any woman regardless how she acts, that might be true for a very small portion of men, but as far as i know men really only are interested in having sex with a woman if she shows reciprocation of interest.
If that was true, hookers would be out of job.
At least, most men know her interest is fake.
When I'm drunk my standards fall to the floor. But when I'm sober, she could be the hottest women I've seen all year, I'm not screwing a self-absorbed diva who just wants me to affirm her narcissism.
At 45, I've come to point in my life, where if I see any of these nonsense games and/or shit-tests from women, I'll just walk away.
No explanation.
Gone.
I'm not as wizened as you are, but do you at least try calling them out on it first? I've never properly dated anyone myself, but I've untangled enough of my friends' relationships by just sitting them down and pointing out that both parties can plainly see through each others' bullshit.
Not worth calling them out. I’m as wizened as the original poster.
@@TheRedstonian
I don't generally call them out.
I generally make it clear from the start I won't be playing, the game, so if and when it happens, I'm done.
With regards to effort, this is one that got brought up in what turned into the "breakup conversation" I had at the tail end of my last "endeavour" (I struggle to classify it as a relationship) - she claimed that I needed to put in more effort if I wanted "a relationship" and that she was always the one asking when I was free to go out. Conveniently, she forgot that a few days prior, I asked her when she was next free, and she gave me a date nearly two weeks away because she was busy with work until then (which I decided to file away to arrange closer to time, as she had previously picked up extra hours at work and become unavailable).
She also worked more erratic shifts with unsociable hours which could cover all 7 days of the week sometimes, whereas I worked a relatively consistent Mon-Fri job, and had very few other commitments (I had also previously relayed all my expected shifts in advance, whereas she did not - something else she conveniently forgot). In my mind, she was better situated to pinpoint overlap of availability because she refused to communicate this properly.
Another point was Valentine's Day - we'd only been going out a couple of months but I decided to get her some flowers, chocolates, a card with a handwritten note inside, cook her a steak dinner, and wear an outfit she'd mentioned a few weeks prior that she wanted to see me wearing (a lumberjack shirt). On the other hand she got me nothing (conveniently, she said she got me a card but she forgot it and left it at home), and instead of making an effort with an outfit for dinner, she had a shower and sat down wearing a sweater and pyjama pants.
But yes, it was me not making any effort...
This. THIS. This is how men work. Like actually. Ngl i was expecting yet another superiority-complex karen when i first saw your channel pop up in my feed, but u r truly one of the few people on the internet that legit give me hope for humanity. U need, like, a seat at the table with Bob Ross and Mr. Rodgers
I'm 53, and happily married. I watch your video so that way I keep perspective in my marriage, making sure that I live up to my expectations with my wife.... but if I had to return to the dating pool today, with even a fraction of the ladies you put out on your channel..... I would willingly die a single lonely man.
So, a "neg" isn't actually supposed to damage their self-esteem, though that's the way people mostly talk about it. The self-esteem damage is a side effect. The purpose of a "neg" is to give the impression that you (the guy) aren't really that into them. The canonical example is saying "Nice nails, are those real?" (when they're obviously not,) "Oh, well I like them anyway." It's a backhanded compliment. If you're just insulting them, that's not a "neg," it's an insult.
Can we just talk about this whole pickup artist thing for a minute? I'm kind of shocked that it took off like it did. I read "The Game" when it first came out, way the fuck back in, what, 2005? I thought it was interesting but didn't see the lifestyle it portrayed as attractive. The introduction to the book talks about how he took "Mystery" (the pickup artist guru) to the hospital because the emptiness of his life had made him suicidal. The opening scene is about how disgusting their "fuck lair" is. (My words, not theirs.) Every hookup he describes, both first and secondhand, is portrayed as unfulfilling in one or more ways. Mystery is INCREDIBLY FUCKING ANNOYING, even to the point that his closest friends start to distance themselves -- and remember, Mystery is the pickup artist guru who can get any girl. The author eventually realizes that his entire outlook has been fundamentally corrupted by pursuing a pickup artist lifestyle and he abandons it in favor of serious, meaningful relationships.
But apparently TONS of guys read this book and went "Dude I have got to get in on this!" Apparently they also read the part on negging and interpreted it to mean that you just shit on people until they want you. I guess being a native English speaker doesn't mean you're actually good at understanding English.
People don't know how to critically think. They read that Mystery got laid, they want to get laid, therefore they want to emulate Mystery. The biggest thing that covid and the Trunp presidential period has shown us is people want authoritative figures (ie the news) to tell them their opinion, and when that isn't viable they look for someone else to be authoritative because they can't do it alone. So they follow Alex Jones or Hasanabi, or Tate or PUA's. It's depressing.
That reminds me of the story of how Christian Bale met some guys in a company and they're like "Man we love Patrick Bateman!" and he thinks they mean his portrayal of him but after a while it dawns on him and he asks "You mean ironically, right?" and they look at him confused. They just completely missed the entire point. Same for Fight Club.
You can learn stuff from fictional characters without repeating their mistakes. The guys wanted a get laid, and they didn't know how they took what they could.
I got into PUA some years ago, I didn't have experience dating, I didn't have friends that picked up women, I had no self esteem, and I was horny as hell. I am also in the spectrum, so learning on my own seem pretty much impossible.
I wanted someone to give me a guide, to tell me what to say, when to say it, and what came after. There was no real alternative for my autistic ass.
I learned self esteem exercises, I learned to TRY, because I had a "proven method" to practice, I was no longer shooting in the dark. And I eventually got laid, a lot.
But I also learned destructive coping mechanisms, learned to hate true self and actually treated a lot of people badly, losing some friends.
I only wish there were alternatives for people in that situation that don't include all the garbage that came with the somehow useful exercises.
Now I can "be myself" (my true self) and get laid if I want, but that's because I have a lot of life experience and true confidence. I can feel the pain many young feel because they don't have that and people telling them to just be themselves or go to therapy don't know how it is to be there, the impotence it makes you feel.
I am hopeful nonetheless, I like how new generations are going more for true expressions than posturing, that is a nice development IMO.
There's also the fact that assholishness, anti-social behavior, is a Veblen Good.
Well PUA is mostly about not getting publicly rejected, if it was about percentage of actual like closing the deal you'd want a woman who is going to reject you to do it ASAP so that you can move on. Like PUA do not actually do that well, the whole thing is that it's a projection, it's not real, just like most of what's in that book is likely bullshit. In real life if you want to sleep with a lot of people, you just to A.) Be willing to lower your standards occasionally and B.)Be willing to move on when it turns out that a lady isn't into you and C.) Be willing to get rejected a LOT, because you're going to be putting yourself out there a LOT. The thing is if you ask 100 ladies to do whatever with you and you have a 99% failure rate, you've closed the deal once. PUA isn't about actually getting laid, it's about the perception that you don't get rejected.
This series makes me feel seen, understood, and validated. It makes me feel like I'm not awful for being a guy or being me. I also appreciate it that you're calling out the harmful behaviors that women aren't just putting on display but actively encouraging other women to adopt. These awful women out themselves as awful without realizing that they would call a man out as "toxic" if the man treated her the way she's boasting about treating him.
I've never seen orange eye shadow, but it fits you very well.
You are a phenomenal woman and an incredibly valued voice of reason in this endless sea of nonsense. Thank you for making these, hopefully more people see and actually learn from them. Here’s to hoping I may one day be as lucky as your husband and find someone with a mentality like yours.
7:42 OR it could because you put on a lot of weight, and he's not attracted to you. OR it could be HE gained weight and his libido went way down. OR it could be you spurned his advances repeatedly, and he's tired of being rejected so he doesn't bother anymore because if you don't want him, he's not going to grape you. OR it could be he found out about your TikTok channel, and he's looking for a way out that he doesn't get screwed over.
or… perhaps those exciting things you used to [pretend] to like… you slowly cut off doing… usually about 3 months in to the relationship.
Wait does your libido go down when you gain weight?
@@artemisolympian6318 yeah, it may seem paradoxical (more energy storage but less usable energy) but if you gain weight (in fat), you have less energy to use. It takes a lot of energy to break down fat, it kinda works on the same principal as when an animal hibernates for the winter. If your body is focused on moving more weight AND breaking down fat you have a lot less energy for your libido.
@@gabrielhenson5751 can confirm the energy gain when you loose weight. I swapped 20lbs of fat for muscle and I felt like I could run a marathon every day when I woke up, instead of flopping out of bed. The difference in energy level is insane.
The part about only helping if you really want to, and "not pocket it as resentment fodder for later" is well said, I like it! I imagine people do this mostly without realizing it. That they don't think to themselves "aha, I have a tendency to help because I feel I have to, and then I resent it, let's make a wiser choice".
That ending bit about the bra measurements seems like a joke you'd see in an anime were a character gets miss identified as a pervert or is actually a pervert but somehow is super competent because of their perversion.
It's such a strange feeling to see something that you only see in fiction happen in real life.
I don’t understand any of these people. My wife and I have been married for 19 years and have a culture of mutual respect. We never call names, we never talk badly about each other to others, and we discuss our problems openly. When I hear these people and read their comments about how you can’t trust the other partner or how they’re just waiting for a chance to hurt you…I feel so sorry and bad for them.
A dudes hands and fingers are legit a measuring tool. I do machining and I cannot tell you how many times ive used my fingers to try to judge distance, depth, whatever lol even when i have a square and a ruler in my tool bag too hahaha
Should legit just get measuring marks tattooed onto your hand or hands at that point; if you're going to use them to get measurements then you may as well get accurate measurements.
I hear ya bud. I work tearing down old wellheads for remanning, and I'm constantly measuring stuff with my hands to verify sizes match when I'm sorting parts.
That last one is so on point it hurts. Women often forget we are very tactile and we will often measure things by feeling them.
the nursing bra story was both fun, sweet and hilarious.
I still cant understand why more people don’t listen to genuine advice like this. I’d rather know I’m wrong than find a justification for why i think I’m right when I’m not
First off if you consider the guy sub par why did you agree to go out with him and second if he's sub par why do you care that he ghosted you????? Why do single women keep taking advice from single women????
Because if she dates the sub par guy she can use, "I didn't have to date you. You need to respect that I agreed at all. You owe me x thing." It's a ploy to guilt trip the guy into "earning" her. And she's pissed that he saw that and noped out. She lost free shit.
Just found your channel. And wanted to say thank you. The bra story reminded me of my parents. My mother literally had no idea what size bra she wore. My dad always bought them. She hated shopping . he liked it. Even though he would bring home somethings not really needed sometimes. First time she went to buy new bras for herself was after my dad died. It was sad and funny at the same time.
I'm not sure if I should be hopeful or let the feeling of doom settle in.
both
No one has ever been divorced in my family (or died mysteriously), going back hundreds of years. We are all taught that the secret to a happy marriage is partnership, listening, and moderation.
Also, my dad is amazing at picking out clothes and jewellery he knows my mom will love. Even though he can be oblivious about many other things.
Wow, I learned about "negging" today. Series is fun, still get the giggles about the dharma post-it. Mostly on point and solid arguments, would love to see a men's putting up with the crazy series.
"Everyone who has ever loved and been loved has had to risk being taken advantage of."
Facts. And anyone who has had that vulnerability abused or exploited has to make that choice all over again every time they want to give a relationship a chance to succeed. It sucks, but it's necessary.
In my younger years, I had a date with an attractive lady who proceeded to spend the entire date on her phone.... Note that this was before smart phones were really a thing.... It was so painful trying to get a conversation out of her, she wasn't into it and then at the end she kind half-assidly said "sorry, another time".... No, thanks.
in my experiences about chores with women in households is like this: youre doing 1 out of 10 things because you bascially just had 25 minutes at home before you had to leave again and come back a 11pm. she blames you for bascially doing nothing. next week, you have time and do 9 out 10 things since you have like 4 hours of time. she still reacts the same way, because that one missing thing, is worth a much as the 9 missing things before. its eighter all, or its nothing
For the first full clip, the reverse actually happened to me. That being, she ghosted me after our first date. To be fair, I wasn't interested in dating her, but I did think she was cool and wanted to at least maintain a friendship. I was just thinking about how to say that without being rude or anything like that (it was my first date ever and I haven't had a lot of dating experience). But I didn't have to worry about that at all because I got ghosted.
Thank you. I had a chick who I was very serious about ghost me because I Google her first before going on a date with her and she acted like I went through her bedroom and purse. She said she could never date a guy who's been to jail and I brought up her arrest record and she got up and left and said not to ever talk to her again because googling someone is the creepiest thing ever. I asked my friends and they all agreed with her. I wouldn't buy a house or car without doing the bare minimum of research why should it be different for someone I plan to spend my life with?
I want to emphasize that insecure people are MORE (MORE!!) likely to cheat. Because 1) You aren't providing them security, and 2) someone else flirting with them will.
Secure confident men do not cheat.
I would love to see the analytics on this series especially the gender break down for it
Congratulations on adding a thousand subscribers just in the past few days. The graphic design really makes your online persona look professional. (I'm guessing thanks to your artist husband? good job!) Your content is fun, insightful and sometimes hilarious. Its very easy to blitz through your episodes all day. Since you are past the threshold for monetization, I hope you are already seeing good returns... I predict your subs will grow exponentially from here. I notice you put multiple episodes in each video... does the YT algorithm reward that? Or would you be better off posting more videos as shorts?. I'm not a content producer so I don't keep up with the YT rules, but its fun to see peoples' success happen, then try to analyze it after the fact.
This woman knows how to explain me better than I can explain me
I can get behind that, subbing.
Just going through the final stages of a long term relationship, I've found that my partner refused to try and understand my priorities. I've really appreciated and resonated with your videos. You've often brought words to my feelings that I had spent so long being incapable of doing.
Even now, I struggle because the relationship had become so toxic to both of us that compassion and understanding was oftentimes lost.
And while I admit that I was a horrible partner to her, everyone has asked me the same thing, "why?" Like what is the real reason in my heart as to why I was behaving the way that I was. Your videos have really helped me look at that question in a way that doesn't ignite large swaths of depression.
As a man who ofteb felt silenced for my opinion, I appreciate the need to call out that men have their own boundaries and it seems that women commonly ignore that fact.
Side note, I also always had the notion that if I want something done more specifically than someone else, (co-worker, partner, friends, family, etc.) Then I will do it myself. I would rather do it myself and have it done the way I like the first time in the way I feel is most efficient, rather than trying to teach someone else my method.
I never got externally mad at her for taking the time to do something to help me out. I may not like the way she does those things, but I'm also not going to expect her to do what I like when her priority is less than mine. That's just not fair to me. Unfortunately, the reciprocal was never returned and that feels like one of the things that really upset me most.
Anyway, thanks for your videos and providing a way for me to cathartically resonate and have words to my feelings that I had been burying for so long. Keep up the great work! ❤
Maybe you should take these videos to her and actually talk about it. Tell her just what you said in that post. Even if it's the end of your relationship - it may be good for everyone to have some sort of closure.
One of the hardest types of closure to get at the end of a relationship is the "Why?"
People need to know why, so that they can grow and develop and be a better person in the next relationship.
Maybe you can give that gift to your partner before you part ways
Maybe you can learn even more by being honest and open and tell her about this and what you posted, giving her the space to tell you things that she may not have before.
@@BlueJadeU i appreciate your comment and feedback. In the time since, I have brought up these points to them and have tried to provide real and honest closure. Unfortunately, she's the stubborn kind of person who prefers blaming over self-reflection.
While I will never make excuses or downplay the seriousness of the situation, things don't "just happen," and that both people involved have some degree of responsibility, in my case, I shoulder most of it because it is my decisions that caused my pain.
But thank you again for your suggestion!
Love your no-nonsense, high-awareness approach to dating and relationships. As an "old man," I am amazed at the number of young women on social media who feel so entitled that only handsome, tall, and wealthy men (who also read minds and can cater to their every wish) should dare to ask them out on a date. This is SO amusing as the only positive thing they bring to the relationship can be satisfied by a 1976 poster of Farrah Fawcett smiling insincerely in a red bathing suit. (Told you I have been around for a while) Woe to the young men that have to deal with all that baggage and entitlement!
7:48 I´m on a relationship but....Most of the time I just want to make sure she´s on the mood for it, I have the kind of girl that will always, always, say yes...The problem is that she does even when she doesn´t want to, I won´t start it if I got the feeling she desires the action as much as I do at the moment. Good thing foreplay exists, in many forms
lots of great examples here of "women are their own worst enemies". Well done.
Yeah this is a problem many of these women don't seem to consider. Once you have gone public with your feminist misandry, your dating life is basically over. Dating and marriage is far too dangerous now to simply treat a woman's tik tok as "venting" or as "ranting". You might skate by for a bit by being young or pretty. The "hit it and quit it" guys might take the risk. But when it comes to marriage, most men are going to seriously reconsider.. And that's something these women will find out as they actually move into their 30s.
just binged the whole playlist, and youve made me feel better about just being a bloke
That ending clip was hilarious.
As a guy who completely gave up on dating, I'm glad to see people finally talking about this. Now, it's far too late for me to ever date again, and it's like that for most adults, but we can set a healthier stage for the younger generation. It makes me happy thinking that some people might not have to go through all this one day.
The problem with that woman is that she's treating love as "transactional". "Don't give anything to men, they don't reciprocate it!". Uh, you're an idiot. If you treat the relationship as "transactional", then the guy knows IMMEDIATELY that's what you're doing and he's just going to be around long enough to "get what he wants" from you and nothing more. He won't even fight to keep you, because you won't fight to keep him.
Look, a man in love is the most dangerous thing on the planet. A man who is in love with you will level mountains with a spoon, drain oceans with a straw, and conquer nations with a shovel. Just to see you smile. Just to hold you in his arms again. That's what a man in love looks like. If you have never had a man like that, it is because you aren't doing anything that makes him love you. Doing his chores isn't what makes him love you. Cleaning his place isn't what makes him love you. He was doing fine on those fronts long before you came around. If he lived in squalor before you, it's because he didn't care that he lived in squalor, which means your cleaning is meaningless to him to begin with. If he struggled with cleaning everything AND working his job and it was absolutely destroying him to do both... and you come along and just take up the mantle of "I will take some of this off of your plate for you, because I don't want you to struggle anymore", then he will appreciate you. He will love you.
As a woman, your job in the relationship, your ONLY job in the relationship that is 100% expected of you... Is to do whatever it takes to make your man love you. That's it. Your duties and responsibilities will be different from relationship to relationship, but the one thing all men want is for you to say and do things that make him fall madly in love with you. That's it. How you do that will differ from guy to guy, but that's your role. The man's role is to fall madly in love with you and then because he loves you so much, sacrifice everything he is for you.
You should never do anything in a relationship with the expectation that you will get something in return. That's childish and stupid. It also reeks of not really caring about the other person, only about yourself. The best relationships I've ever been in are ones where the woman I was dating saw a need in my life that needed filled, and she took up the responsibility of filling that need. In return, I was grateful because she was "helping me out" and not just "doing the expected things all adults are expected to do whether they're in a relationship or not". Because I was grateful, I felt a powerful draw to her that turned into genuine love and appreciation. Because I loved her, I did all manner of silly and stupid crap for her. I bought her nonsense she didn't need. I took on responsibilities in her life to "lessen her burden". I'd look for needs in her life to fill as well. I'd sometimes just do random nice things for her because I wanted to let her know I loved her and appreciated her (like bringing her lunch at work and sitting and listening to her complain about coworkers, or buying her cosmetics despite not knowing anything about it and probably giving her really bad ones, or just declaring that tonight was a date night and we're going out, or whatever). You are in a relationship because you love the person you are with and you want to build a life with them. You aren't in a relationship because you need someone to pay your bills or cook your food.
As for "The only reason a man turns down sex". Some women are delusional.
I've turned down sex because:
1. You strike me as "The Village Bicycle" and I'm not interested in being "the latest rider".
2. I am just not in the mood for it and you've done nothing to "put me in the mood" aside from being a worse actor than what you'd see for free on the internet.
3. I know that you're a "Dead Fish Lover". Which means, I'll do all the work, get nothing out of it other than something I could've done myself in less time, and I won't feel fulfilled.
4. The time/place was not appropriate.
5. I barely know you. Believe it or not, it takes a lot to talk me into "A One Night Stand", because that is more hassle than it's usually worth. I prefer to know you as a person and have an emotional investment in you before I want to sleep with you.
6. The act is deeply intimate to me and if I feel you might not take it as seriously as I will, then I'm not interested.
7. Some insecurity. I know I don't look good, and I'm always nervous about getting my clothes off. Unless you make it clear you're turned on by what I look like... it's hard to draw me out of this one.
8. I like being chasaed too. I hate having to initiate all the time. Unless you're going to show me that you want me, then I just might not be interested. Seduce me 50% of the time! If you don't, there are women out there who will... and you'll get replaced by them. Because they're likely better lovers and they're better partners in general.
9. It sounds like too much work. Engaging in bedroom funtime means you need to please your partner as well. For a man, the act is very quick and simple and doesn't take us very long to get to climax. If all I'm seeking is the climax, and more is expected of me, then it's just too much hassle. I can go into the bathroom and do it myself or whatever and be done. If loving you is "too much work" at the time, then I'll turn it down.
10. I know that my bedroom creativity isn't going to be appreciated by you. As in, the things I'm into, are things you're probably not. Which means, I have to suppress my own desires during the process, and that's just not a fun experience at all. Nor is it intimate. Nor is it emotionally satisfying.
11. I just don't want to have sex with you. Simple. Probably the most common reason I've turned it down.
As I guy, I must say I love your videos. You are so on point with many things. Been married to my wonderful wife for almost 9 years. When we first got married I was working a lot of hours. So she took care of most things. When we had our twin boys she didn't want me getting up in the middle of the night to help feed them. She was worried about me being tired during my 45 minute commute. Once I moved up at work and had to work less hours I would help with more things. I fix stuff around the house, take care of vehicle appointments, etc. I noticed she was always super busy and seemed stressed. Out of love for her I just started doing more things around the house. She didn't ask or expect me to. I did it because I know she loves me and helps me. I wanted to return that. So ladies, don't give up. Just keep loving him and eventually, if you don't nag or put him down, he'll probably start helping you more. We pick up on things after awhile and don't need to ask what you need done, or we might ask. Depends on the guy. Don't get annoyed, lovingly tell us what you need help with. Some things she will ask, especially if it involves using tools. Granted she's more than capable, but she knows I love to do those things.
I dunno. I always told them to their face I lost interest. Ghosting is kinda weak.
I had a really awkward situation with my last gf, I moved in with her in her 1 bedroom house she rented. with her ex bf. and he slept in the bedroom, she slept on the couch. she didn't tell him we were seeing each other. so i had to just, pretend that I was there as their friend. apparently due to the changes in altitude from her home and my previous one (where I live again now) I had started snoring loudly. so she started sleeping in his bed. instead of talking to me about it. and when I told her that made me uncomfortable, she got mad at ME
5:40 - "he asked when the last time I hooked up with someone was and I said last night", "he asked what I would be doing if he didn't ask me out, likely having dinner with someone"
From both lived experiences and watching short videos of women bragging about this I'm sure I'm not the only guy who has my radar out looking to detect signs that dating is her side hustle. I'm on the lookout for signs that she thinks the main reason for my existence is to give her free food and free entertainment, that essentially "dating" is how she subsidizes going to nice restaurants and getting free movies or drinks at the bar or into events or whatever her lifestyle is.
So "I hooked up with someone last night" - putting aside that I would find this question a bit blunt to put it nicely, you're already onto someone else? yeah dating is your lifestyle, not a pathway to one day escaping the hellish wasteland of modern dating. "I'd be having dinner with someone else" - I'd try to dig deeper for confirmation but the immediate implication to me isn't just "dinner with someone else" but also "dinner that someone else is paying for" which, again, tells me that dating is your side-hustle. Them painting it as the guy being insecure is hilarious because its literally that the guy being secure enough to approach the date with some of the most simple standards and expectations.
When we were assigning chores early in our relationship, we decided my wife would do the grocery shopping. Not due to gender norms, not because I don't want to (I actually enjoy grocery shopping) but because of I do the shopping and forget something, screw something up, or make a substitution due to availability of pricing, she gets bent out of shape by it. Mind you, it's not that those things don't happen when she does the shopping, it's that I am more laid back and understanding about it. After a few years, I got annoyed that she would never go to the store until Sunday evening. That was a problem because we had two young kids and both worked, so we needed to be able to cook over the weekend, otherwise the week would be a disaster of trying to get caught up on cooking and dishes. Finally, and as a last resort, I said that if groceries aren't in the house by 3pm on Saturday, I'm not cooking or doing dishes that week (which were normally primarily my chores). At that point she decided groceries should be my chores too. I was fine with that, provided she take one of mine in exchange and she not nitpick how I do it.
The "Don't do anything" girl is so wrong it hurts. What she does for me is how I gauge her love. If she just feels it, I cannot tell.
Yeah. Men go more for actions, than words. If you want him to feel loved - you need to ACT like you love him.
So this woman saying don't do anything for them - that's equivalent to saying' "Don't show any love to them." What guy is gonna wanna stay?
*'Shelf life of an ice cube"* lol I am very tempted to plagiarize that! Excellent imagery! 🤣😂🤣😂
I like this lady. She's pretty cool.
"We each know our roles, and what our jobs are. If you need anything above that, all you have to do is ask."
"But you should just KNOW"
"Yeah but I don't so you're gonna have to ask or it won't get done."
Best conversation I've had in a long time.
Be honest and set boundaries. You are the one who decides how you are treated.
I almost never tell my wife no if she asks me for something, unless she does so in a way where I'm being slighted, which is immediately discussed. I expect her to hold me to the same level of accountability if she is slighted.
just thought i'd clarify what a neg is because most people have the concept completely wrong. it's NOT a negative barb at a woman to make her feel bad. it is a purely neutral to somewhat positive statement that is designed to elicit self-consciousness and give a large, ambiguous, emotional spike, and start her mind racing. i.e., "i really love your hair. i'm always impressed when a woman has the courage to do something that daring." see, ultimately positive statement. the one thing people always get wrong is that a neg is an insult. it's NEVER an insult. it's far more crafty.
This video was my first time hearing about a neg. What you just described is also called a back-handed compliment; which is a subtle and sometimes passive-aggressive way to insult someone. The goal is usually to lower their self-esteem, by hiding an insult in a compliment. Doing this to get a date seems problematic at best, and terrible at worst. Is this popular now? If I completely misunderstood you, I apologize. This is not an attack, I am genuinely confused.
@@barnettmcgowan8978 the difference is intent sort of. like i said, a neg is never insulting, nor are they really used that much. the difference is subtle and hard to explain. i guess a backhanded compliment, the intention is malicious. with a neg, the intention is to... almost confuse? does that make sense? and a neg should seem genuine but open to misinterpretation. a backhanded compliment is usually pretty clear.
also, they're not used to "get a date". you can think of the whole concept as fencing; there is back and forth. parry, riposte. the idea with a neg is that it throws her off balance. and really, the situation where you would even bother trying one arises terribly infrequently, but it's one of those things that was misinterpreted by the general public, then sensationalized: "oh my god! these losers are trying to make girls feel bad so they sleep with them!" that makes a great buzzfeed article, but it's completely off the mark.
i'm no pick-up artist myself; those days are well behind me, but the entire thing is fascinating from a psychological stand-point. the dynamics and interplay. at end of the day however, there is a huge difference between the theory behind it all and actually doing it; it becomes intuitive and at that point you would call it charisma. the difference between what i just described and playing it out is the difference between reading the sheet music for mozart's requiem and seeing it performed.
Oh the chores thing about not seeing what each other does.. so true. Wife is in the kitchen (we are in the UK so laundry room is also the kitchen, dont ask me why as I grew up where its separate) She then announces that she has to put on the laundry. I then point out that the washer that she is standing right in front of is already on and has been for at least 30 minutes when I put it on.