What traits do you relate to? This is the third of 5 videos I'll be posting this week. To catch up, check out the playlist below or if you want to check out the rest of the channel, take a look at the other links below. 🌍 Check out my other World Autism Awareness Week 2020 videos: th-cam.com/play/PLU7asIuC9SU-B-84egpG8Asz1QJ_Bh2Lv.html 🔔 Subscribe here for more videos: bit.ly/2p6hwcb ⭕️ Last video: th-cam.com/video/6onXHHs68v8/w-d-xo.html 👉 Are you new to the channel? Check out these videos: bit.ly/2xjyG6Q 👉 More Autism Videos? bit.ly/2Xw0R1n 👉 Latest IndieAndy videos: bit.ly/2REegkt
All the common autistic traits plus a lot more not so common ones like facial blindness, under sensitivity for physical pain, low access to emotions, eidetic memory, etc. The not so common ones are usually not a topic when talking about autism...
One of autism traits is Caetextia (context blindness) which is the inhability to read the spontaneous context. For example: when an autistic express a message in the same way even if it's a different situation (context); another example is not realizing if an allistic or neurotypical is using sarcasm, irony, metaphors, etc; another one is difficulty in change because neurotypicals can guess what could happen because they are contextually sensitive.
This is the only video (so far) that has mentioned the "no filter mouth" 🤯 I always used my "no filter mouth" as "a way out" when I got in trouble for "speaking my mind". I never really spoke my mind because my mind was telling my mouth to shut up but my mouth didn't care. 🤷🤦 Thank you so much for including this trait 💕
Whenever I talk enthusiastically I notice that don't look at the person faces or eyes. I'm so engrossed in my own thoughts or excitement that I don't pay attention with the person in front of me.
I've recently been diagnosed with Autism (age 25) and I've always really struggled with small talk. Recently I've been living in supported housing and my neighbours routinely send me "Good Morning" messages that I hardly ever reply to. When they ask me "Why have you not replied to my message? Are you ok?" I reply with "You sent me that message yesterday why do I need to reply again?" and they look at me weird. I'm trying really hard to send replies to them but sometimes I forget. I have ended up configuring my phone to send them a scheduled message every morning to say "Good Morning, hope you have a good day." I told my Mum about this and she thought it was hilarious but told me I shouldn't tell them that's what I'm doing.
That's awesome! I do the same thing when managing my friendships/relationships, I'm prone to not engaging first so I schedule text to friends at particular times of day when I know I'll be able to answer and I tailor it to the type of friend. Example: Sally (busy mom that works full time), Bob (retired and likes to chit chat), Tammy (likes in person activities more).... I schedule Sally twice a week in the evenings, Bob 3x a week late morning/early evenings, Tammy, twice a week (1 early in week to give me time to prepare for possible activities, 1 later to confirm/small chit chat)... sorry for the long explanation, it's cool to know I'm not the only one that schedules my text 🤣
I think the hardest thing about being an autistic adult is that when you act 'normal' that's how people expect you to be so when you are struggling they don't understand. But then when they see your struggling they then expect that you must be struggling all the time even when your fine and can manage. So people either just think your being wierd or they tip toe around you and treat you like there's something going on when there's really isnt
@Ignace Alli autism cannot be cured because it is not a disease. Nor is it even a disorder. I may struggle socially and have other issues but at work I can excel with the task at hand. The questions is not how to cure autism but how to put autistic people in a healthy environment they can excel at. Perhaps these herbs help with that or maybe your son is just developing as he grows up, but please for his sake encourage his unique outlook on life and stop trying to cure him I fully believe its how God made us to be.
About the smalltalk issue: I feel like you can flip it just as well and say neurotypicals find the stuff that we autistic people talk about just as irrelevant as we find the stuff they talk about irrelevant. We both perceive each other as doing smalltalk.
Sometimes, I make too much direct eye contact. I will stare others in the eyes with minimal blinking and about no looking away. Other times, I cannot look straight at a person's face.
I understand. I'm 53 years old and was diagnosed around age 30. Maybe in wanting to let them know they have all my attention I give too much, then other times it's as you've said.
I find it really difficult to know how much eye contact to maintain. I might start "normally", then start to feel I'm 'overdoing it' and start looking around the room because I feel uncomfortable.
@@MiracleRed Depends on the conversation and relationship between the speakers. A rule of thumb to follow could be little and often using verbal nods or gestures (if you can) { uh-huh, right, mm-hmm, ok, yeah, smile, nod) For an informal setting: 3 seconds look at the speaker, look away, 3 seconds later make that contact again. Let's them know you're still invested in the conversation. For a more formal setting (job interviews) you may need to double that, maybe more with brief moments to look away and return to the contact. Looking away briefly is fine, looking around the room repeatedly indicates disinterest/deceit/discomfort (even if that's not intended). Intense eye contact (unless in a romantic situation perhaps) is a big no-no - that taps into evolutionary aggressive enemy hangovers.
I've said some outrageous things to strangers, and looking back I don't know what possessed me, but I'm laughing as I type this. They may have been shocked, but they will never forget me ha haa! I'm also terrible for laughing at funerals or when I'm expected to look po faced, like when someone gets bad news and I'm supposed to look terribly grave. I can't help it. Also when people are talking to me, my mind wanders off to funny films and then I have to control myself in case I laugh out loud.
One person commented on another video that: 'socializing is like navigating through a minefield with little to no reward.' -can't remember the person's name-
I've experienced neurotypical people to get angry and wanting to start a physical fight, because of no eye contact. This includes adult men and women ( I also find human eyeballs disgusting to look at)
Traits i relate to: Saying what's on my mind:✔ Struggling with talking:✔ Avoiding eye contact:✔ Struggling with change:✔ Sensory problems:✔ Traits i have since im autistic: Struggling with bright lights:✔ Noise being too loud:✔
I like changes that I have made myself, because it makes me feel a sense of acheivement, and also I'd know I've put careful planning, as well as weighing the pros and cons to said change. But a change that I don't have power over is a different story
Oh man can I ever relate to the "trying to get words out of my face in a concise manner" it's so difficult. It's like someone forgot to hook my brain up to my mouth. And I do find eye contact difficult for tgat reason; it's super hard to think of what to say while looking into someone's eyes. But funnily enough the lady that assessed me said I had "excessive eye contact" at times. Lol I was making HER uncomfortable.
Too much = hostile/threat/aggressive/intense/obsession Too little = disinterest/disregard/disrespect/indifference/scorn/preoccupation/unfocused/inattention Must be a minefield trying to find a balance. use the 3 second rule.
I find that trying to get into a group conversation feels like trying to do double Dutch jump rope while not knowing how to jump in at the right time. So you're either too early or too late and you end up messing it all up.
I am addicted to change. It can be hard and scary, but I get bored. I definitely have my routines, but I love to invent new routines when the environment changes. I have my little bubble and I know what things I need to be comfortable, so if I can fit my few bubble things into the environment, I can be comfortable in any environment.
I find eye contact intimidating and over stimulating. Making the conversation less about me and more about the other person can be challenging for me. It can also be hard to get my voice in a conversation with more than one person. I also don’t have that much patience in a conversation and tend to talk over people. I some times feel like people don’t want to hear what I have to say sometimes.
#1. At my last job, working with ABA teams no less, I experienced quite a few times where I’d say things that I didn’t really think through. Like telling one of my bosses I don’t even check my work email.... her response was I probably shouldn’t say that in front of her. I didn’t think it through
Great video! Eye contact is a big one for me. Growing up people would say “are you looking at me?” It happened so often that I made up an eye disorder to explain it away😀 Now I can fake it
I have the same issue with being mentally stuck on what I am saying when talking to people. Eye contact doesn't physically hurt me but over many years I have tried to force it and I can now do it, shortly, but it's extremely hard to keep doing. My mind races even more and that is another distraction, so I can't focus on my words. It's a mess even after "training".
Also under the right circumstances and the right people surrounding us... We can do anything that we put our minds too! 👍 Good luck with the publishing business Lynn!
What age did you start to talk ??? My son is nearly 3 and diognosed autistic , he still can’t talk unfortunately , fingers crossed hopefully he will 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Autistic brains tend to be at full capacity. Eye contact overloads my brain when every part is already in use. I can't speak or be in very stimulating places, especially eye contact.
I was diagnosed at 3 years old so let’s see No filter: ❌ Communication: ❌ Avoiding Eye Contact: Partially- it’s mainly me making eye contact for too long, looking away for a sec, and doing eye contact again. Change: ❌ Sensory Sensitives: ❌
Could also be talking too much and not knowing when to end it. Or talking about things that make no sense to the current situation. Like my husband randomly comes out and tells me facts about judaism while I’m trying to talk about paying a bill.
Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend while I was sitting in my garden. I was looking at my pond and said out of nowhere to her, 'haha there are two frogs fucking in my pond.' Probably a great example of no filter.
That's a really neat vid. Thank you. I'm not Autistic though I do think the traits are interesting. I had a friend whose child is Autistic. Hence, I evolved an appreciation of being that understanding. The proximity, the spacial awareness of eye contact with talking to people is an interesting trait. I'm extremely long sighted and have difficulty looking at a plate of food in front of me because of the nearness, unless I put my glasses on! The caveman human instinct, fight or flight, freeze or friend, may have something to do with the Autistic trait. Wanting to back away from confrontation, wanting less engagement of dialogue from someone whose physical behaviour is just different other than familiar, being careful with conversation between the Autistic person & someone else that may trigger a subliminal conscienscienciousness, may alert them subliminally to the fact that typical behaviour may be questioned, could be causing apprehension. That feeling of uncomfortableness, akwardness, wanting soothing, calming, reassurance, could really be clashing with potential face to face conversation with someone whose attitude & reactions are unknown. These subconscious, subliminal thoughts could be enough to trigger the subjective self consideration of wanting to back out of a conversation, yet it develops as 'looking away'. That is subconconsciously similar to 'walking away from' or feing as though they are putting a distance between themselves & whoever is talking to them. The same is true of being in a location that feels difficult or akward. Staring out of a window is psychologically similar to wanting to escape. It is actually interpretable as a very typical social trait of non autistic people who just have the caveman old trait of survival, the desire to escape things that feel subjectively dangerous, whether that 'danger' feels to 'that' individual as though it could be a difficult conversation or maybe just that the conversation is from someone new who may misinterpret behaviour or expect different behaviour or be criticising behaviour. Avoiding feeling these emotions could reveal itself as just looking away, looking beyond someone. The anxiety from sequences of rapidly changing colour lights or strobing is similar to the tests that were done years ago on the greater discovery of society's traits that affect Epilepsy. It was discovered that items such as Christmas tree lights & children's toys, play telephones, robot toys, even babies play toys that have sequences of lit up lights and the same with those tin sounds of children's toy telephones that have musical options of short sequences of ring tones yet they sound similar to a tinder box or a very mechanical, electrically synthesized kind of music, yet, importantly, are so quick & similar to a jingle, that they are often repeated in rapid succession. These were discovered to be so extremely dangerous to Epilepsy that the law had to get changed to make the toys and things that have flashing lights and jingle type noise sequences made with dimmer switches, to slow down the sequences and shut them off, and to prevent the rapid changing of light colours, to calm down all the choices that were so brief that the user of the gadget or toy just used to keep pressing the buttons and repeating the electronic jingle or light colour sequences. It could be, with Autism, that the self soothing of repeated gestures or similar is a kind of emotional wall against the introduction of the unknown. As soon as repeated behaviourisms become familiar, the 'use' of repeating them seems to block out the potential focus of attention or the requirement of focus of attention on something different, something new, something that could potentially cause akwardness. One trick to create a new level of comfort in the mind is that same repetition. The brain reacts extremely well to being worked & exercised like arm muscles. Try introducing something new into your life, into each day. Even a couple of seconds. Find a website page with something that makes you feel awkward, uncomfortable, apprehensive. It isn't a mental mountain. It's a low easy next step. Spend one single minute looking at the image, even if you close the page & then relook at it again a few seconds later. That creates an education in the brain that teaches you that seeing something new could always be as easy as that. Every day, you chose. Maybe every couple of hours, maybe just twice a day. One single minute each time. Even if you look away from it a hundred times, look back at it another hundred times. After each one of these single minutes, you will be a hundred times more capable of engaging with new things, face to face, and you have then taught your brain how easy it is. Every time gets easier. I hope this is useful. Kind respects, Theresa 🙋♀️☯️
Yeah sometimes I mess up with how to address people appropriately. I'm just glad I dont live in Japan and other places that have different formality levels of language use and using the wrong one at any time can be offensive. There's at least 3 different ones 😬 Edit: omg thanks for shouting out my eye contact video 💛
Ooh god totally get that for sure 😂👍 Aww it's alright I mean it helped me alot to understand why eye contact might be something some can't do. Because before I couldn't get why it was hard before.
i have no filter from my brain to my speech, if i feel like swearing or saying penis for no reason, then ill say it, and ill always end up speaking my mind which is _slightly_ concerning, but yknow!
Thanks for your video! I thought that i might have autism for a while. Now after watching this i‘m almost sure. I also learned that sensory processing disorder is „a thing“. I definitely have this. You really helped me a lot!
I am only using direct eye contact during intimacy with my boyfriend whom is also the spectrum. I don't know if I'm the only individual that has this but anyone who does give a like to clarify. Eye contact means intimate contact with the person in question and can quite intimidating for someone who is not in that aspect of our social circles. ABA=#Metoo.
Yeah I've had to work on not blurting things... lol I try to always think-out things before i say things...people don't seem to like to wait for a pause to let someone get things clear in certain situations. Also have learned to focus on hairline or their mouth so it doesn't lool like i am being rude...i guess in Japan eye contact is considered rude unless your close with a person or something- so that'd be one pro to living there..... lol If someone is talking long it can be hard to focus on their hair or lips unless i am using their lips to help process what they are saying. Definitely feels weird when not on the ground, but i am not actually afraid of heights- just feels different.
@@IndieAndy I have problems with words sometimes, luckily my family and close friends are very good at interpreting my mumbling and pointing at things.
The problem with eye contact, have I solved very easy: I instead look at either their nose or mouth only. A person can't see any difference when I do that. Thank you for your videos!
Mouth is not the best idea lol. I use that and a lot of people think I’m hitting on them. Nose is great. Forehead people start thinking something on them… things I’ve noticed. Btw I don’t think I’m autistic, just things I’ve pick up from being social awkward 👍 always 10/5 roughly 10 seconds eye contact 5 not.
@@TH-rc9cy Dear friend, no one can see any difference, if I look at there nose or mouth. I got lot's of health issue, and being sort of deaf, means I have to lip reading anyway. I just got my diagnosis 8 feb 2022, I am 100% Aspergers (ASD L1) and waiting for a ADHD test to come. I should mention I am 55 year!! So first getting my diagnosis now is a bit weird but also a HUGE relief.
I get very And get very nervous when I meet new people for the first time and when when things change with plans I gets very upset and I was looking forward to it and don’t like loud I don’t like frie work as they are to too loud for me and ever since I am E when the Scotland rugby game there was the royal marines had their gun to salute them and I had To put my hand over my ears as I don’t like the loud noise
I just learn what propriocetion was because of this video and I now understand why sometimes I can't fall asleep because the way my toes touch eachother bothers me
Found your channel just now and I really like it. I've always been sensitive to sound and to certain textures, so there's that for the sensory perception. Change stresses me out like hell. But what really spoke to me was when you got to eye contact and making words come out not like jumbled garbage. xD Eye contact is both uncomfortable and... kind of like an EMP blowing up my brain. I can neither process what a person is saying nor process what I'm saying if I keep eye contact. It's just white noise. The best I could express it as a kid (didn't get diagnosed as a kid because ableist parents and hey, girls don't have autism, do they?) was that Talking is a three step process for me. Somebody says something, and I need a moment to catch what they're saying and process what that means. Then I need a moment to run their input against my own perspective and figure out how I feel about it. Then I need another moment to put together words in a way that can express what I think in a way that makes sense. Eye contact is a fourth process and I just can't run that parallel with the others. There isn't RAM for that. (Most of the time people don't have the patience for that, because their Talking process is automated. They don't realise I need longer time to talk and just keep talking while I lag behind like a frantic dog trying to catch up with its owner's car.)
@ Yes No Totally brilliant analogy!!!! Dumbfounding! I'm in love with that description, and panting like a dog with pure delight! Seems like I've been running panting forever and a day, on a nowhere train of infinite dissatisfactions.... 😨
I'm not sure if this comes under 'touch', but I can be highly sensitive to temperature changes. Also, when I'm stressed, my experience of temperature is such that I suddenly feel about 15°C hotter, ave have to start shedding layers or go outside to cool down
So I can relate to each trait, some more than others, but have never been diagnosed with autism. Now, this doesn’t guarantee if I have autism but can this be diagnosed by a primary physician or a specialist? Additionally, if I get diagnosed, does it mean anything besides bringing awareness? Not being rude, just asking genuine questions. Can’t take medication or anything.
1:10 I usually tell ppl exactly what I think about them in great detail by accident like I’ll go “i like your hair:)” but then notice a flaw aboit their hair so then i add “oh but it looks like the color is fading a little bit patchy, that’s ok tho bc I think this blue suits you better and the original blue cuz it made you look a bit like a scene kid who was trying a bit hard” and then they’ll say the previous blue was their favorite and I’ll want to kill myself from the severe guilt
But 1985 was awesome and OFF THE CHAIN! lol I'm just starting to get my footing after just recently realizing with certainty that I am on the spectrum. I think you're my fave Autism information provider. You are appreciated.
I'm not autistic but I don't like making eye contact or look at their face too long because sometimes I'll dream of them and I remember dreams like memories and I don't want to see people I met and don't care for
Eye contact: You forgot, when not talking, too much eye contact...or Inaproriat levels of eye contact.... such as hyper eye contact, especially in periods of hyper-focus (which can also come with ADHD) & (Which can still be very uncomfortable & painful at a moment) ... or comes with the "mile-long-stare". This is like when someone who's talking to you is a person, or is engaging in a sort of topic, that requires a lot of eye contact & recognition ... and so you give it (despite it driving you nuts & causing you a lot of anxiety & pain). Yet, because of your anxiety you can actually give eye contact which can come off as "too intense" , or you get the "mile long stare" ... (which they may even contact on) ... and in both cases people will either say that they felt uncomfortable & creeped out, or totally ignored ... because either they felt like you were looking right into or through them, and the later ("mile long stare") gives them the sense that you're looking at them but totally zoned out & entirely somewhere else, or looking right through them. This can sometimes happen more often in social or public situations were you'll find yourself either really interest in someone or an idea (or both: in someone then an idea of that person, or in relation to them, or something random ext.) While you're looking at someone in what first turned out as a glance, but turns into staring. Either something about them really fascinates you or you were glancing at them & entirely zone out on a thought or something (say an item of jewelry in their hair) and you just find yourself honed in on or zoned out completely that it comes off as rude & creepy. Because - you're staring at someone ... typically a stranger. Or you're looking in thier directection but you're so tuned out on a thought or honed in on (say that bead in their hair) that you're not even registering the person at all, but the thought or the object ... or you're just entirely blank .... no thought, no ideas, no dialog, just sort of .... ..... ..... ...... ...... ..... ..... buffering.
Sorry: lol ... epic info dump. And that's how I tend to talk ... having to force myself to slow down, not monalog & to think out loud & be certain to look up to see the other person's expressions as to be able to later play them back in my head so I can analyze & figure out those expressions & their meaning. Especially if it's not one I really know how to read. Even with very close, life long (to x date of y life line) family member.
My brain to mouth filter usually comes off as I am being inappropriately funny while there's absolutely nothing humorous at hand. It's usually that I have read the room completely wrong and figured everyone else would see tte "obvious " of what I see happening and I'm just trying to talk about the elephant in the room so to speak.
@@IndieAndy I think it has something to do with sensory sensitivity when it comes to body awareness and balance. I didnèt realise until I watched this video but it makes sense.
I can’t believe i was literally diagnosed with some gravitational problems as a kid instead of autism… guess that’s because i’m a woman and “I cAn’T hAvE aUtIsM”
Aww no worries and I imagine it's because english is widely spoken however I do know some people speak in their native language about autism like my friend autisimsara over on TikTok does videos in Norwegian for example.
What's confusing is I can talk freely to some people more than others so learning filter talking is hard cause nice people do not bat an eye at what I say but others act like somethings wrong with what I've said there fore somethings wrong with me. I feel I talk weird (goofy, quirky) with the stuffy people more cause I feel they think I'm weird. Alot of people think I'm fun!!!! That's me!
Severe sensory processing disorder No filter Doesn't understand jokes Has trouble with sarcasm unless I'm being sarcastic. Taking everything seriously Self regulation difficulty Blackout meltdowns Can only continue a conversation if it's a topic I like. Don't get sociable cues Don't know when it's my turn to speak on the phone. Doesn't know when it's appropriate to say something and when not. Have trouble with staying on topic Can't communicate verbally when angry
I will say what is literally, logically and obviously true...lol that is not always the best thing to say. Add impulse control with ADHD as well as ASC. Never a dull moment 😃 Being autistic is levels of pain, we can endure and at the point diff. for all we become overwhelmed ..no matter where the pain is coming from we struggle to regulate. And this world is a constant pain & is overwhelming by design. Learning to embrace and accept pain has been my life's work.
OMG this is so me! I spend so much brain power making sure what I say makes sense(at least to me), sounds like I’m very intelligent, and is correct. So, there is usually a lot of silence, like I freeze in the middle of a sentence, and spend a lot of time “ummmmmmm. Um umm ummmmm um” to where people with either interrupt and/or finish my sentence for me(which pisses me off) or move on to another thing without getting out of my mouth what’s in my head. And I can’t even look at someone’s face when I talk. I simply can’t do it. I will look anywhere around them, but I can’t look at their face.
You know what I find most difficult with change? When it's very long and gradual. Say something is going to happen but it's drawn over an unspecified length of time. I like to think of events as encapsulated states. A change is moving from one state to another. When the change is too gradual, I feel stuck in a limbo between two worlds
i've only seen the first 2.5 min of this vid but i have scored very high on the autistic scale and i certainly do NOT have any connection between what i want to say and what actually comes out of my mouth. at times i've surrounded myself with people who could catch up onto what i was thinking rather than what i was saying and since it came naturally for them they've never thought anything of it, and i myself was just happy to be around people who -understood me-, but lately when i've realised i have to distance myself from them in order to become an individual, it meant the sudden lack of humans who could comprehend my thoughts rather than my mouth and... life got seriously damn HARD. bottom line is I'd say that the tongue-brain barrier might very well be a tell-tale of autism in adults.
I don't know if I have problems with eye contact. I think I'm ok with making eye contact. But there are times when I don't know if I'm making the correct amount of eye contact. It's a mystery.
Hi thanks for your video and channel, We are in the process of getting help for my husband. Just a question, do you have any food sensitivities as an adult?
Excellent video and very informative also lots of detail 👌 new to the ASD community, im 42 n just found out im autistic possible savant not savant syndrome. Idk, getting assessments for adults is hard. First if ur on a government disability support program like Canada 🇨🇦 has, firstly you get financial benefits and discounts bc of being on ODSP they also cover medical costs above basic terms but only available apon request of a certain form, you have to do the digging to find the coverage but most times it is. Secondly, depending on disability, or disabilities you may qualify for a disability tax credit, but that's for permanent. I just aquired that, im just working on my disability plaque for the car. My mum n dad take care of me. My grandmother on my dad's side was schizophrenic so immediately thats where they went as I got older just thinking I was a problem child, full of beans, very talkative so ASD went undetected n as I started to get older I masked the edge to rock n talk. What ppl didn't relize was yes I talked but no one took to notice I didn't like talking about me. How I finally got identified was thru a friend that I just communicate with over social media but been good friends n helped each other. I brought up ASD n she said umm ya I need to talk to u. She had just been late diagnosed herself n was level 1 high functioning aspergers, my turn is coming but I already know and am doing the things I need now so I can function better, less shut downs n no meltdowns if possible but you don't know as to what degree something might get under ur skin. Sensory overload n recharge time also no talking time for me bc I can talk n talk, like this I fgo on n on n on, like the energizer bunny. All 5 things you talked about I associate with big time. N learned something too, I never knew about the other 2 senses. With that knowledge now, yes it makes sense why I am scared to fly n don't like strangers touch touching me, ppl I trust if u announce what ur doing yes I like hugs from mum, n a pat on the bk when I do good. I don't vocalize my emotions n when talking with someone I need ur 100% attention. I have a hard time making eye contact out of fear, n that causes me to stammer n get confused, n end up talking about something of intrest to me n if ur not engaging n letting me go on n on, when u do take notice bc im getting worked up n talking erratic bc I've gotten myself all amped up, then someone will suggest I calm down or relax when to me I think I am calm, I think I sound that like I feel happy n excited but no, it is perceived as erratic n angry on the verge of a meltdown. Which only infuriates me n no filter, fly off the handle bc ur telling me what to do. I'm an adult, if I could take care of myself I would. Trying to communicate to nerotypical ppl i cand do it. I sound mean, n smug rude n abtose. This vid I'm sending mum so she can understand how difficult life is for me, n im a triple neurological disorders major chemical imbalance. Thanx for being brave n sharing. Most ppl don't relize that ppl with ASD help eachother more then most of the help nerotypical ppl Can give. They don't understand, but you do. I wish u all the best with the channel n going to check out some others. This first vid was very insightful, pertains to my situation im going thru n helps me get across im ASD. When your this old, n they all think your crazy then find out that's the fine line, n im on the other side with the intelligent "genius " ppl are, they just don't listen to me. Im learning to deal with th frustration better n shutting down less. Once I get fully assest n not just my physiologist I've seen for 20 yrs n he knows me good n 2 moths ago I saw him he couldn't help me with ASD questions but could tell me that ASD makes more of a fit, I didnt research it till I saw him n he said dive in, so I did. I just had a session on FaceTime, such a handy tool for positive use. He made my day by telling me I've taught him a lot on emotions n how to talk to sm1 ASD or not, everyone deserves dignity n pride. It's nice to know that opening up is not only giving me help but also helping my dr understand. Best physiologist I've ever talked to, n I've been thru a few benches of them but he is the only one that gets me also dedicated so much time getting to know me. That funny thing is he's a child physiologist but we have formed a bond. He learns from me learning me n he listens to my thoughts. Keep up the good work
What are the most important things (self care ) someone can do for themselves if they think they might have adult autism? What makes it easier/harder to live with?
*sigh* I watch one video and think everything is fine because I don't identify with the traits, then I watch another and start filling out a bingo card, I am confusion
How about talking differently as in using other phrases,other terms you’ve picked up?? Instead of saying toilet you say bathroom,like Americans do. Instead of using the local slang for hello you can say the slang for hello from another part of the county??
But Americans are allowing people to suffer in silence and die by the thousands with "for profit healthcare". Our decendents protested King George's tea tariffs by dressing in brownface and indigenous attire, boarding the trade ships in question and dumping the crates of tea into the Boston harbor. Britain decided to lend a hand when our "wonderful president" George W Bush decided to invade Iraq only for families with deceased loved still asking questions. Born and raised American and sadly losing faith in a "Dream" that really is a "Nightmare". Think of the story "Coraline". As an individual with ASD I can only pray and wish that I wake up to the birds singing outside my window that propaganda from "Autism Speaks" does not get me lynched.
I look at people's lips! They think you're looking at their eyes and you get the bonus of visual stimuli helping you figure out what they're saying (which is useful when auditory processing is a struggle).
What traits do you relate to?
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All the common autistic traits plus a lot more not so common ones like facial blindness, under sensitivity for physical pain, low access to emotions, eidetic memory, etc. The not so common ones are usually not a topic when talking about autism...
One of autism traits is Caetextia (context blindness) which is the inhability to read the spontaneous context. For example: when an autistic express a message in the same way even if it's a different situation (context); another example is not realizing if an allistic or neurotypical is using sarcasm, irony, metaphors, etc; another one is difficulty in change because neurotypicals can guess what could happen because they are contextually sensitive.
This is the only video (so far) that has mentioned the "no filter mouth" 🤯 I always used my "no filter mouth" as "a way out" when I got in trouble for "speaking my mind". I never really spoke my mind because my mind was telling my mouth to shut up but my mouth didn't care. 🤷🤦 Thank you so much for including this trait 💕
Whenever I talk enthusiastically I notice that don't look at the person faces or eyes. I'm so engrossed in my own thoughts or excitement that I don't pay attention with the person in front of me.
I notice when I do talk I kind of don't show too much expressions and I forget to break eye contact and I think that offends people
@@gabrielguzman6018 this..
@@gabrielguzman6018 it might just be me but I get told that I constantly do a death stare when I just always look at people eyes
Ahhhh! This!!
To who ever reads this. Its a dark place when you dont understand....
Understanding starts with accepting.
Love,
Me, she who is good enough. ☺
I've recently been diagnosed with Autism (age 25) and I've always really struggled with small talk. Recently I've been living in supported housing and my neighbours routinely send me "Good Morning" messages that I hardly ever reply to. When they ask me "Why have you not replied to my message? Are you ok?" I reply with "You sent me that message yesterday why do I need to reply again?" and they look at me weird. I'm trying really hard to send replies to them but sometimes I forget. I have ended up configuring my phone to send them a scheduled message every morning to say "Good Morning, hope you have a good day." I told my Mum about this and she thought it was hilarious but told me I shouldn't tell them that's what I'm doing.
That's awesome! I do the same thing when managing my friendships/relationships, I'm prone to not engaging first so I schedule text to friends at particular times of day when I know I'll be able to answer and I tailor it to the type of friend. Example: Sally (busy mom that works full time), Bob (retired and likes to chit chat), Tammy (likes in person activities more).... I schedule Sally twice a week in the evenings, Bob 3x a week late morning/early evenings, Tammy, twice a week (1 early in week to give me time to prepare for possible activities, 1 later to confirm/small chit chat)... sorry for the long explanation, it's cool to know I'm not the only one that schedules my text 🤣
I think the hardest thing about being an autistic adult is that when you act 'normal' that's how people expect you to be so when you are struggling they don't understand. But then when they see your struggling they then expect that you must be struggling all the time even when your fine and can manage. So people either just think your being wierd or they tip toe around you and treat you like there's something going on when there's really isnt
@Ignace Alli autism cannot be cured because it is not a disease. Nor is it even a disorder. I may struggle socially and have other issues but at work I can excel with the task at hand. The questions is not how to cure autism but how to put autistic people in a healthy environment they can excel at. Perhaps these herbs help with that or maybe your son is just developing as he grows up, but please for his sake encourage his unique outlook on life and stop trying to cure him I fully believe its how God made us to be.
About the smalltalk issue: I feel like you can flip it just as well and say neurotypicals find the stuff that we autistic people talk about just as irrelevant as we find the stuff they talk about irrelevant. We both perceive each other as doing smalltalk.
Ooh yes of course!
Sometimes, I make too much direct eye contact. I will stare others in the eyes with minimal blinking and about no looking away. Other times, I cannot look straight at a person's face.
I understand. I'm 53 years old and was diagnosed around age 30. Maybe in wanting to let them know they have all my attention I give too much, then other times it's as you've said.
@@yasminvillanueva3141 I've heard "look at me when I'm talking to you" a few times.
I find it really difficult to know how much eye contact to maintain. I might start "normally", then start to feel I'm 'overdoing it' and start looking around the room because I feel uncomfortable.
@@MiracleRed
Depends on the conversation and relationship between the speakers. A rule of thumb to follow could be little and often using verbal nods or gestures (if you can) { uh-huh, right, mm-hmm, ok, yeah, smile, nod) For an informal setting: 3 seconds look at the speaker, look away, 3 seconds later make that contact again. Let's them know you're still invested in the conversation. For a more formal setting (job interviews) you may need to double that, maybe more with brief moments to look away and return to the contact. Looking away briefly is fine, looking around the room repeatedly indicates disinterest/deceit/discomfort (even if that's not intended).
Intense eye contact (unless in a romantic situation perhaps) is a big no-no - that taps into evolutionary aggressive enemy hangovers.
I've said some outrageous things to strangers, and looking back I don't know what possessed me, but I'm laughing as I type this.
They may have been shocked, but they will never forget me ha haa!
I'm also terrible for laughing at funerals or when I'm expected to look po faced, like when someone gets bad news and I'm supposed to look terribly grave.
I can't help it.
Also when people are talking to me, my mind wanders off to funny films and then I have to control myself in case I laugh out loud.
One person commented on another video that: 'socializing is like navigating through a minefield with little to no reward.'
-can't remember the person's name-
Socially communicating is exhausting to me.
I've experienced neurotypical people to get angry and wanting to start a physical fight, because of no eye contact. This includes adult men and women ( I also find human eyeballs disgusting to look at)
Traits i relate to:
Saying what's on my mind:✔
Struggling with talking:✔
Avoiding eye contact:✔
Struggling with change:✔
Sensory problems:✔
Traits i have since im autistic:
Struggling with bright lights:✔
Noise being too loud:✔
wow same here
THE LIST YOU MADE A LIST pftfghehe
I like changes that I have made myself, because it makes me feel a sense of acheivement, and also I'd know I've put careful planning, as well as weighing the pros and cons to said change. But a change that I don't have power over is a different story
Oh man can I ever relate to the "trying to get words out of my face in a concise manner" it's so difficult. It's like someone forgot to hook my brain up to my mouth.
And I do find eye contact difficult for tgat reason; it's super hard to think of what to say while looking into someone's eyes. But funnily enough the lady that assessed me said I had "excessive eye contact" at times. Lol I was making HER uncomfortable.
Aww it might be that you use alot of eye contact thinking you're not doing enough maybe without realising? But yeah creep that assessor lady 👏😂
@@IndieAndy yeah! It's probably something like that!
Too much = hostile/threat/aggressive/intense/obsession
Too little = disinterest/disregard/disrespect/indifference/scorn/preoccupation/unfocused/inattention
Must be a minefield trying to find a balance. use the 3 second rule.
I find that trying to get into a group conversation feels like trying to do double Dutch jump rope while not knowing how to jump in at the right time. So you're either too early or too late and you end up messing it all up.
Ooh haha totally! I think virtual calls actually make it worse with the delay 😂
“A massive jumble garbage of words.” Mood 😂
Haha just life for us eh PJ? 😂😂👏
I am addicted to change. It can be hard and scary, but I get bored. I definitely have my routines, but I love to invent new routines when the environment changes. I have my little bubble and I know what things I need to be comfortable, so if I can fit my few bubble things into the environment, I can be comfortable in any environment.
I find eye contact intimidating and over stimulating. Making the conversation less about me and more about the other person can be challenging for me. It can also be hard to get my voice in a conversation with more than one person. I also don’t have that much patience in a conversation and tend to talk over people. I some times feel like people don’t want to hear what I have to say sometimes.
It hurts....too much. But i like to look at the eyes of girlfriends, but on pictures i took before😂. So many emotions....
Spot on here too
Hi i want to know some traits like r u speak loud sometimes
I feel like we autistic people need to stop overanalyzing our actions and stop compromising ourselves in social situations.
Hmm see I do agree with that but I think it's easier said than done.
@@IndieAndy and i agree with that. Struggling with it everyday
#1. At my last job, working with ABA teams no less, I experienced quite a few times where I’d say things that I didn’t really think through. Like telling one of my bosses I don’t even check my work email.... her response was I probably shouldn’t say that in front of her. I didn’t think it through
Great video! Eye contact is a big one for me. Growing up people would say “are you looking at me?” It happened so often that I made up an eye disorder to explain it away😀 Now I can fake it
I have the same issue with being mentally stuck on what I am saying when talking to people. Eye contact doesn't physically hurt me but over many years I have tried to force it and I can now do it, shortly, but it's extremely hard to keep doing. My mind races even more and that is another distraction, so I can't focus on my words. It's a mess even after "training".
Yeah right I see what you mean. It's just such a weird thing really for people to expect 😭
I’m Autistic and just started a publishing business. We can succeed if given the right environment. And yes,my mouth is an issue.
Also under the right circumstances and the right people surrounding us... We can do anything that we put our minds too! 👍 Good luck with the publishing business Lynn!
So glad you're making that disclaimer at the start.
I'm right now compiling a big proper list of all my autism traits, and this is helping me out.
Yeah it's important to be clear because it's super easy for things to be misleading 👍
Miss you Sir
What age did you start to talk ??? My son is nearly 3 and diognosed autistic , he still can’t talk unfortunately , fingers crossed hopefully he will 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I pray he will ❤ from Ireland 🇮🇪
@@itzAurora_Xoxo thank you 🙏🏼 God bless
Autistic brains tend to be at full capacity. Eye contact overloads my brain when every part is already in use. I can't speak or be in very stimulating places, especially eye contact.
I was diagnosed at 3 years old so let’s see
No filter: ❌
Communication: ❌
Avoiding Eye Contact: Partially- it’s mainly me making eye contact for too long, looking away for a sec, and doing eye contact again.
Change: ❌
Sensory Sensitives: ❌
Could also be talking too much and not knowing when to end it. Or talking about things that make no sense to the current situation. Like my husband randomly comes out and tells me facts about judaism while I’m trying to talk about paying a bill.
Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend while I was sitting in my garden. I was looking at my pond and said out of nowhere to her, 'haha there are two frogs fucking in my pond.' Probably a great example of no filter.
Haha someone I know talked about buttholes in a clothing shop awhile back... Yeah it's fair to say that some were not impressed 😂
Best example of no filter I love it.
Do you find internal things like emotional processing can be part of overload as well?
Hmm good question. Sometimes yeah especially when I'm not sure about how to proceed.
Yeah, I'd say so. Yoga helps with that. Also helps with trauma which is nice.
in my experience, emotional processing can contribute.
I have said for 2 decades, HFASD is the next step in evolution. Detaching from emotions and interpersonal dependency.
@@dedpoptart do you belong to the Aspie Elitists?
The background drumming is unpleasant and distracting.
That's a really neat vid. Thank you. I'm not Autistic though I do think the traits are interesting. I had a friend whose child is Autistic. Hence, I evolved an appreciation of being that understanding.
The proximity, the spacial awareness of eye contact with talking to people is an interesting trait. I'm extremely long sighted and have difficulty looking at a plate of food in front of me because of the nearness, unless I put my glasses on! The caveman human instinct, fight or flight, freeze or friend, may have something to do with the Autistic trait. Wanting to back away from confrontation, wanting less engagement of dialogue from someone whose physical behaviour is just different other than familiar, being careful with conversation between the Autistic person & someone else that may trigger a subliminal conscienscienciousness, may alert them subliminally to the fact that typical behaviour may be questioned, could be causing apprehension. That feeling of uncomfortableness, akwardness, wanting soothing, calming, reassurance, could really be clashing with potential face to face conversation with someone whose attitude & reactions are unknown. These subconscious, subliminal thoughts could be enough to trigger the subjective self consideration of wanting to back out of a conversation, yet it develops as 'looking away'. That is subconconsciously similar to 'walking away from' or feing as though they are putting a distance between themselves & whoever is talking to them. The same is true of being in a location that feels difficult or akward. Staring out of a window is psychologically similar to wanting to escape. It is actually interpretable as a very typical social trait of non autistic people who just have the caveman old trait of survival, the desire to escape things that feel subjectively dangerous, whether that 'danger' feels to 'that' individual as though it could be a difficult conversation or maybe just that the conversation is from someone new who may misinterpret behaviour or expect different behaviour or be criticising behaviour. Avoiding feeling these emotions could reveal itself as just looking away, looking beyond someone.
The anxiety from sequences of rapidly changing colour lights or strobing is similar to the tests that were done years ago on the greater discovery of society's traits that affect Epilepsy. It was discovered that items such as Christmas tree lights & children's toys, play telephones, robot toys, even babies play toys that have sequences of lit up lights and the same with those tin sounds of children's toy telephones that have musical options of short sequences of ring tones yet they sound similar to a tinder box or a very mechanical, electrically synthesized kind of music, yet, importantly, are so quick & similar to a jingle, that they are often repeated in rapid succession. These were discovered to be so extremely dangerous to Epilepsy that the law had to get changed to make the toys and things that have flashing lights and jingle type noise sequences made with dimmer switches, to slow down the sequences and shut them off, and to prevent the rapid changing of light colours, to calm down all the choices that were so brief that the user of the gadget or toy just used to keep pressing the buttons and repeating the electronic jingle or light colour sequences. It could be, with Autism, that the self soothing of repeated gestures or similar is a kind of emotional wall against the introduction of the unknown. As soon as repeated behaviourisms become familiar, the 'use' of repeating them seems to block out the potential focus of attention or the requirement of focus of attention on something different, something new, something that could potentially cause akwardness. One trick to create a new level of comfort in the mind is that same repetition. The brain reacts extremely well to being worked & exercised like arm muscles. Try introducing something new into your life, into each day. Even a couple of seconds. Find a website page with something that makes you feel awkward, uncomfortable, apprehensive. It isn't a mental mountain. It's a low easy next step. Spend one single minute looking at the image, even if you close the page & then relook at it again a few seconds later. That creates an education in the brain that teaches you that seeing something new could always be as easy as that. Every day, you chose. Maybe every couple of hours, maybe just twice a day. One single minute each time. Even if you look away from it a hundred times, look back at it another hundred times. After each one of these single minutes, you will be a hundred times more capable of engaging with new things, face to face, and you have then taught your brain how easy it is. Every time gets easier.
I hope this is useful. Kind respects, Theresa 🙋♀️☯️
I can’t look at people in the eyes I just can’t do it even when I’m not talking to someone
Yeah sometimes I mess up with how to address people appropriately. I'm just glad I dont live in Japan and other places that have different formality levels of language use and using the wrong one at any time can be offensive. There's at least 3 different ones 😬
Edit: omg thanks for shouting out my eye contact video 💛
Ooh god totally get that for sure 😂👍 Aww it's alright I mean it helped me alot to understand why eye contact might be something some can't do. Because before I couldn't get why it was hard before.
Would a stutter be a trait because I have a stutter that can be horrible sometimes
I have no issues with irony or sarcasm. I am actually overly ironic and sarcastic so much so no one knows if I’m being sincere. It is probably a mask
i have no filter from my brain to my speech, if i feel like swearing or saying penis for no reason, then ill say it, and ill always end up speaking my mind which is _slightly_ concerning, but yknow!
Thanks for your video! I thought that i might have autism for a while. Now after watching this i‘m almost sure. I also learned that sensory processing disorder is „a thing“. I definitely have this. You really helped me a lot!
Aww I'm glad that this helped! ☺️👍
I am only using direct eye contact during intimacy with my boyfriend whom is also the spectrum. I don't know if I'm the only individual that has this but anyone who does give a like to clarify. Eye contact means intimate contact with the person in question and can quite intimidating for someone who is not in that aspect of our social circles. ABA=#Metoo.
100%
Yeah I've had to work on not blurting things... lol
I try to always think-out things before i say things...people don't seem to like to wait for a pause to let someone get things clear in certain situations.
Also have learned to focus on hairline or their mouth so it doesn't lool like i am being rude...i guess in Japan eye contact is considered rude unless your close with a person or something- so that'd be one pro to living there..... lol
If someone is talking long it can be hard to focus on their hair or lips unless i am using their lips to help process what they are saying.
Definitely feels weird when not on the ground, but i am not actually afraid of heights- just feels different.
Hahah, same here when I don't think a sentence through, often it comes out completely nonsensical.
Haha welcome to my world 😄👍
@@IndieAndy I have problems with words sometimes, luckily my family and close friends are very good at interpreting my mumbling and pointing at things.
Ooh do you mean finding the right word in a sentence?
@@IndieAndy Or any words. Sometimes i try to convert file from ideas to words and I just get an error message back.
I don’t like to make eye contact cause I think I’m catching feelings idk I feel uncomfortable
ah i never realized bad balance and spatial awareness was related to my sensory issues with the main senses.
The problem with eye contact, have I solved very easy: I instead look at either their nose or mouth only. A person can't see any difference when I do that.
Thank you for your videos!
Mouth is not the best idea lol. I use that and a lot of people think I’m hitting on them. Nose is great. Forehead people start thinking something on them… things I’ve noticed. Btw I don’t think I’m autistic, just things I’ve pick up from being social awkward 👍 always 10/5 roughly 10 seconds eye contact 5 not.
@@TH-rc9cy Dear friend, no one can see any difference, if I look at there nose or mouth.
I got lot's of health issue, and being sort of deaf, means I have to lip reading anyway.
I just got my diagnosis 8 feb 2022, I am 100% Aspergers (ASD L1) and waiting for a ADHD test to come. I should mention I am 55 year!! So first getting my diagnosis now is a bit weird but also a HUGE relief.
I often can't intuit the intent is behind the things people say or do. I think that's why I take things at face value.
I get very And get very nervous when I meet new people for the first time and when when things change with plans I gets very upset and I was looking forward to it and don’t like loud I don’t like frie work as they are to too loud for me and ever since I am E when the Scotland rugby game there was the royal marines had their gun to salute them and I had To put my hand over my ears as I don’t like the loud noise
I just learn what propriocetion was because of this video and I now understand why sometimes I can't fall asleep because the way my toes touch eachother bothers me
Found your channel just now and I really like it.
I've always been sensitive to sound and to certain textures, so there's that for the sensory perception. Change stresses me out like hell. But what really spoke to me was when you got to eye contact and making words come out not like jumbled garbage. xD
Eye contact is both uncomfortable and... kind of like an EMP blowing up my brain. I can neither process what a person is saying nor process what I'm saying if I keep eye contact. It's just white noise. The best I could express it as a kid (didn't get diagnosed as a kid because ableist parents and hey, girls don't have autism, do they?) was that Talking is a three step process for me. Somebody says something, and I need a moment to catch what they're saying and process what that means. Then I need a moment to run their input against my own perspective and figure out how I feel about it. Then I need another moment to put together words in a way that can express what I think in a way that makes sense. Eye contact is a fourth process and I just can't run that parallel with the others. There isn't RAM for that. (Most of the time people don't have the patience for that, because their Talking process is automated. They don't realise I need longer time to talk and just keep talking while I lag behind like a frantic dog trying to catch up with its owner's car.)
@ Yes No Totally brilliant analogy!!!! Dumbfounding! I'm in love with that description, and panting like a dog with pure delight! Seems like I've been running panting forever and a day, on a nowhere train of infinite dissatisfactions.... 😨
Just stopping by to say that you have incredible eyes.
I'm not sure if this comes under 'touch', but I can be highly sensitive to temperature changes.
Also, when I'm stressed, my experience of temperature is such that I suddenly feel about 15°C hotter, ave have to start shedding layers or go outside to cool down
So I can relate to each trait, some more than others, but have never been diagnosed with autism. Now, this doesn’t guarantee if I have autism but can this be diagnosed by a primary physician or a specialist? Additionally, if I get diagnosed, does it mean anything besides bringing awareness? Not being rude, just asking genuine questions. Can’t take medication or anything.
1:10 I usually tell ppl exactly what I think about them in great detail by accident like I’ll go “i like your hair:)” but then notice a flaw aboit their hair so then i add “oh but it looks like the color is fading a little bit patchy, that’s ok tho bc I think this blue suits you better and the original blue cuz it made you look a bit like a scene kid who was trying a bit hard” and then they’ll say the previous blue was their favorite and I’ll want to kill myself from the severe guilt
Lol a lense doesn't try to look into your brain
Thank you for a helpful video :-)
But 1985 was awesome and OFF THE CHAIN! lol I'm just starting to get my footing after just recently realizing with certainty that I am on the spectrum. I think you're my fave Autism information provider. You are appreciated.
I'm not autistic but I don't like making eye contact or look at their face too long because sometimes I'll dream of them and I remember dreams like memories and I don't want to see people I met and don't care for
My boyfriend has a nice trick for eye contact:
He looks at their eyebrows, so that it looks like he makes eye contact.
That's cool. I used to study body language to help with empathy...I read that looking at the person's sellion makes us look aggressive
Permanent foot in mouth disorder is what I call no brain to mouth filter.
Eye contact: You forgot, when not talking, too much eye contact...or Inaproriat levels of eye contact.... such as hyper eye contact, especially in periods of hyper-focus (which can also come with ADHD) & (Which can still be very uncomfortable & painful at a moment) ... or comes with the "mile-long-stare". This is like when someone who's talking to you is a person, or is engaging in a sort of topic, that requires a lot of eye contact & recognition ... and so you give it (despite it driving you nuts & causing you a lot of anxiety & pain). Yet, because of your anxiety you can actually give eye contact which can come off as "too intense" , or you get the "mile long stare" ... (which they may even contact on) ... and in both cases people will either say that they felt uncomfortable & creeped out, or totally ignored ... because either they felt like you were looking right into or through them, and the later ("mile long stare") gives them the sense that you're looking at them but totally zoned out & entirely somewhere else, or looking right through them.
This can sometimes happen more often in social or public situations were you'll find yourself either really interest in someone or an idea (or both: in someone then an idea of that person, or in relation to them, or something random ext.) While you're looking at someone in what first turned out as a glance, but turns into staring. Either something about them really fascinates you or you were glancing at them & entirely zone out on a thought or something (say an item of jewelry in their hair) and you just find yourself honed in on or zoned out completely that it comes off as rude & creepy. Because - you're staring at someone ... typically a stranger. Or you're looking in thier directection but you're so tuned out on a thought or honed in on (say that bead in their hair) that you're not even registering the person at all, but the thought or the object ... or you're just entirely blank .... no thought, no ideas, no dialog, just sort of .... ..... ..... ...... ...... ..... ..... buffering.
Sorry: lol ... epic info dump.
And that's how I tend to talk ... having to force myself to slow down, not monalog & to think out loud & be certain to look up to see the other person's expressions as to be able to later play them back in my head so I can analyze & figure out those expressions & their meaning. Especially if it's not one I really know how to read. Even with very close, life long (to x date of y life line) family member.
My brain to mouth filter usually comes off as I am being inappropriately funny while there's absolutely nothing humorous at hand. It's usually that I have read the room completely wrong and figured everyone else would see tte "obvious " of what I see happening and I'm just trying to talk about the elephant in the room so to speak.
If someone picks me up and lift me,I panic.
Aww really how come?
@@IndieAndy I think it has something to do with sensory sensitivity when it comes to body awareness and balance. I didnèt realise until I watched this video but it makes sense.
Ooh right I see it's probably that feeling of firstly being squeezed then being lifted off the ground... Yeah it's just weird to me honestly 😂👍
@@IndieAndy For me it's as sooon as my feet leave the floor I feel like I'm wayyy up high about to fall.
I can’t believe i was literally diagnosed with some gravitational problems as a kid instead of autism… guess that’s because i’m a woman and “I cAn’T hAvE aUtIsM”
Thanks for these vids, it really helps. Also why are all the people doing vids on autism also English? haha
Aww no worries and I imagine it's because english is widely spoken however I do know some people speak in their native language about autism like my friend autisimsara over on TikTok does videos in Norwegian for example.
Beautiful soul ❤️
What's confusing is I can talk freely to some people more than others so learning filter talking is hard cause nice people do not bat an eye at what I say but others act like somethings wrong with what I've said there fore somethings wrong with me. I feel I talk weird (goofy, quirky) with the stuffy people more cause I feel they think I'm weird. Alot of people think I'm fun!!!! That's me!
Severe sensory processing disorder
No filter
Doesn't understand jokes
Has trouble with sarcasm unless I'm being sarcastic.
Taking everything seriously
Self regulation difficulty
Blackout meltdowns
Can only continue a conversation if it's a topic I like.
Don't get sociable cues
Don't know when it's my turn to speak on the phone.
Doesn't know when it's appropriate to say something and when not.
Have trouble with staying on topic
Can't communicate verbally when angry
I will say what is literally, logically and obviously true...lol that is not always the best thing to say. Add impulse control with ADHD as well as ASC. Never a dull moment 😃 Being autistic is levels of pain, we can endure and at the point diff. for all we become overwhelmed ..no matter where the pain is coming from we struggle to regulate. And this world is a constant pain & is overwhelming by design. Learning to embrace and accept pain has been my life's work.
OMG this is so me! I spend so much brain power making sure what I say makes sense(at least to me), sounds like I’m very intelligent, and is correct. So, there is usually a lot of silence, like I freeze in the middle of a sentence, and spend a lot of time “ummmmmmm. Um umm ummmmm um” to where people with either interrupt and/or finish my sentence for me(which pisses me off) or move on to another thing without getting out of my mouth what’s in my head. And I can’t even look at someone’s face when I talk. I simply can’t do it. I will look anywhere around them, but I can’t look at their face.
You know what I find most difficult with change? When it's very long and gradual. Say something is going to happen but it's drawn over an unspecified length of time. I like to think of events as encapsulated states. A change is moving from one state to another. When the change is too gradual, I feel stuck in a limbo between two worlds
i've only seen the first 2.5 min of this vid but i have scored very high on the autistic scale and i certainly do NOT have any connection between what i want to say and what actually comes out of my mouth. at times i've surrounded myself with people who could catch up onto what i was thinking rather than what i was saying and since it came naturally for them they've never thought anything of it, and i myself was just happy to be around people who -understood me-, but lately when i've realised i have to distance myself from them in order to become an individual, it meant the sudden lack of humans who could comprehend my thoughts rather than my mouth and... life got seriously damn HARD.
bottom line is I'd say that the tongue-brain barrier might very well be a tell-tale of autism in adults.
I don't know if I have problems with eye contact. I think I'm ok with making eye contact. But there are times when I don't know if I'm making the correct amount of eye contact. It's a mystery.
Hi thanks for your video and channel, We are in the process of getting help for my husband. Just a question, do you have any food sensitivities as an adult?
eye contact is so confusing to me. how much is too much? which eye should I look at? (can't look at both at once!)
My husband refers to me as a loose cannon, he doesn’t know I’m on the spectrum! 🤣
Thank you for sharing. Keep up the helpful videos, they are much appreciated.
I have work with people with autism it was amazing experience for me ♥️
Excellent video and very informative also lots of detail 👌 new to the ASD community, im 42 n just found out im autistic possible savant not savant syndrome. Idk, getting assessments for adults is hard. First if ur on a government disability support program like Canada 🇨🇦 has, firstly you get financial benefits and discounts bc of being on ODSP they also cover medical costs above basic terms but only available apon request of a certain form, you have to do the digging to find the coverage but most times it is. Secondly, depending on disability, or disabilities you may qualify for a disability tax credit, but that's for permanent. I just aquired that, im just working on my disability plaque for the car. My mum n dad take care of me. My grandmother on my dad's side was schizophrenic so immediately thats where they went as I got older just thinking I was a problem child, full of beans, very talkative so ASD went undetected n as I started to get older I masked the edge to rock n talk. What ppl didn't relize was yes I talked but no one took to notice I didn't like talking about me. How I finally got identified was thru a friend that I just communicate with over social media but been good friends n helped each other. I brought up ASD n she said umm ya I need to talk to u. She had just been late diagnosed herself n was level 1 high functioning aspergers, my turn is coming but I already know and am doing the things I need now so I can function better, less shut downs n no meltdowns if possible but you don't know as to what degree something might get under ur skin. Sensory overload n recharge time also no talking time for me bc I can talk n talk, like this I fgo on n on n on, like the energizer bunny. All 5 things you talked about I associate with big time. N learned something too, I never knew about the other 2 senses. With that knowledge now, yes it makes sense why I am scared to fly n don't like strangers touch touching me, ppl I trust if u announce what ur doing yes I like hugs from mum, n a pat on the bk when I do good. I don't vocalize my emotions n when talking with someone I need ur 100% attention. I have a hard time making eye contact out of fear, n that causes me to stammer n get confused, n end up talking about something of intrest to me n if ur not engaging n letting me go on n on, when u do take notice bc im getting worked up n talking erratic bc I've gotten myself all amped up, then someone will suggest I calm down or relax when to me I think I am calm, I think I sound that like I feel happy n excited but no, it is perceived as erratic n angry on the verge of a meltdown. Which only infuriates me n no filter, fly off the handle bc ur telling me what to do. I'm an adult, if I could take care of myself I would. Trying to communicate to nerotypical ppl i cand do it. I sound mean, n smug rude n abtose. This vid I'm sending mum so she can understand how difficult life is for me, n im a triple neurological disorders major chemical imbalance. Thanx for being brave n sharing. Most ppl don't relize that ppl with ASD help eachother more then most of the help nerotypical ppl Can give. They don't understand, but you do. I wish u all the best with the channel n going to check out some others. This first vid was very insightful, pertains to my situation im going thru n helps me get across im ASD. When your this old, n they all think your crazy then find out that's the fine line, n im on the other side with the intelligent "genius " ppl are, they just don't listen to me. Im learning to deal with th frustration better n shutting down less. Once I get fully assest n not just my physiologist I've seen for 20 yrs n he knows me good n 2 moths ago I saw him he couldn't help me with ASD questions but could tell me that ASD makes more of a fit, I didnt research it till I saw him n he said dive in, so I did. I just had a session on FaceTime, such a handy tool for positive use. He made my day by telling me I've taught him a lot on emotions n how to talk to sm1 ASD or not, everyone deserves dignity n pride. It's nice to know that opening up is not only giving me help but also helping my dr understand. Best physiologist I've ever talked to, n I've been thru a few benches of them but he is the only one that gets me also dedicated so much time getting to know me. That funny thing is he's a child physiologist but we have formed a bond. He learns from me learning me n he listens to my thoughts. Keep up the good work
Making good eye contact makes it hard to focus on what I am talking about.
69th XD
420th is better 👍😂
What are the most important things (self care ) someone can do for themselves if they think they might have adult autism? What makes it easier/harder to live with?
Do I see a Derpy plushie in the background
Hmm not sure tbh, possibly.
@@IndieAndy sure looks like it tho, I love it ❤❤❤
Pale blue eyes always difficult not to look into.
*sigh*
I watch one video and think everything is fine because I don't identify with the traits, then I watch another and start filling out a bingo card, I am confusion
@Ignace Alli You can't reverse a gentic condition with herbs, you can manage and alleviate symptoms sure, but you can't reverse autism
Words totally "come out of my face" too lol
Put some sunglasses on!
Jessie Gender is wonderful
How about talking differently as in using other phrases,other terms you’ve picked up?? Instead of saying toilet you say bathroom,like Americans do. Instead of using the local slang for hello you can say the slang for hello from another part of the county??
But Americans are allowing people to suffer in silence and die by the thousands with "for profit healthcare". Our decendents protested King George's tea tariffs by dressing in brownface and indigenous attire, boarding the trade ships in question and dumping the crates of tea into the Boston harbor. Britain decided to lend a hand when our "wonderful president" George W Bush decided to invade Iraq only for families with deceased loved still asking questions. Born and raised American and sadly losing faith in a "Dream" that really is a "Nightmare". Think of the story "Coraline". As an individual with ASD I can only pray and wish that I wake up to the birds singing outside my window that propaganda from "Autism Speaks" does not get me lynched.
Hmm I guess it can be a thing though I think that is just depending on what you consume really.
IndieAndy A reasonable amount of both dialects,I’d say 😂
@Ignace Alli BS!! Autism cannot be reversed. Please respect this channel and stop commenting on how it can be “reversed” because it can’t.
how can you do eye contact when you can’t think straight trying 👀 contact???
Hmm I would look at something else that's near the person. Tbh looking away helps me just gather my thoughts.
I look at people's lips! They think you're looking at their eyes and you get the bonus of visual stimuli helping you figure out what they're saying (which is useful when auditory processing is a struggle).
1985 or 1995?
I'm confused, what do you mean?
My video started buffering at 3:20 😂. Great video, this has been very informative and helps a lot!