Miscellaneous Myths: The Minotaur

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 พ.ย. 2024

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  • @ailimarie
    @ailimarie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15233

    Theory: someone who hated the minoans saw all their bull iconography, called them bull fuckers, and the joke got WAY out of hand

    • @MCArt25
      @MCArt25 4 ปีที่แล้ว +951

      i mean their favorite sport was basically bull rodeo so it wasn't really hard to make that joke

    • @Tustin2121
      @Tustin2121 4 ปีที่แล้ว +589

      This reminds me of how Prince Achmed just wants his tiger. His army even put on a song for him about it.

    • @Changeling6562
      @Changeling6562 3 ปีที่แล้ว +188

      @@Tustin2121 All hail Achmed the tigerfucker

    • @charlesclinton3305
      @charlesclinton3305 3 ปีที่แล้ว +282

      Sounds like it was a regular Athenian insult hurled at anyone from Crete.

    • @KhanhNguyen-mh5ec
      @KhanhNguyen-mh5ec 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Sounds about right

  • @artemiswolf4508
    @artemiswolf4508 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9781

    Decapitating the Minotaur sucks because unlike other monster you can’t really show it of as a trophy.
    “And this is the head of the Minotaur, half man half bull monstrosity that ate humans in a labyrinth”
    “Dude that’s a cow”

    • @kryptonianguest1903
      @kryptonianguest1903 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1939

      No, it's not! Here's the rest of his body.
      Dude, that's a dude.

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 4 ปีที่แล้ว +447

      How would _you_ turn it into a trophy? Cut off its whole torso?

    • @z.j.karasik9601
      @z.j.karasik9601 4 ปีที่แล้ว +502

      @@timothymclean cut it down the middle

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 4 ปีที่แล้ว +313

      @@z.j.karasik9601 Vertically or horizontally?

    • @crazeelazee7524
      @crazeelazee7524 4 ปีที่แล้ว +445

      @@timothymclean yes

  • @Scream_Lord
    @Scream_Lord 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5477

    Red: "Stop boning animals!"
    Loki: *currently a mare about to be impregnated by a horse* Huh?

    • @siberiandante
      @siberiandante 4 ปีที่แล้ว +492

      Loki: I'll pretend I didn't hear that

    • @kortmann9
      @kortmann9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +372

      Loki does as he/she/they pleases...
      Even if it is pretty messed up.

    • @campeonjpm9105
      @campeonjpm9105 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      JRHNBR

    • @oracle8535
      @oracle8535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +269

      He freaking fathered a snake the size of the world.

    • @violet5018
      @violet5018 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Excuse me *what-*

  • @fireflyeclipse
    @fireflyeclipse 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6754

    There’s something that makes sense about a goddess of mazes ending up with the god of madness and wine

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 3 ปีที่แล้ว +127

      Ikr

    • @sramtae5820
      @sramtae5820 3 ปีที่แล้ว +963

      Dyonisus, drunk af: honey I'm homeee
      Ariadne, also drunk: hey sweetie, i turned the house into a laberinth

    • @jacobsheehan9715
      @jacobsheehan9715 3 ปีที่แล้ว +474

      @@sramtae5820 everyone else: why?
      Them: why not?

    • @luckywolf8171
      @luckywolf8171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +362

      One of the most functional and crazy couples out there

    • @alljammedup6781
      @alljammedup6781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Spiral Vibes

  • @calico_queen8976
    @calico_queen8976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7078

    Can you just imagine Ariadne's face as she watches her ex's life go downhill while she's chilling at a rave party her immortal husband's hosting?

    • @MatsuoTanuki
      @MatsuoTanuki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1299

      Ariadne: "Tragic." *dainty sip of Olympian nectar and Bacchanal wine cocktail*

    • @airmanon7213
      @airmanon7213 4 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      @Mullerornis Care to explain why? I don't know about the Scythian gods myself.

    • @lorendaemon7945
      @lorendaemon7945 4 ปีที่แล้ว +208

      @@airmanon7213 it doesn't look like we know a lot about the Scythian pantheon, but apparently they did have their version of Hestia as the Queen of the gods so that probably speaks well

    • @darkherculeskabuterimon7203
      @darkherculeskabuterimon7203 4 ปีที่แล้ว +191

      @@lorendaemon7945 Because Hestia is part of the Virgen Trio, because she's the goddess the home & hearth, or because she's basically the Greek god equivalent of the stereotypical 'everyone's favorite aunt'?

    • @lorendaemon7945
      @lorendaemon7945 4 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      @@darkherculeskabuterimon7203 it's the first one I feel like the peaceful god of the hearth being queen says good things about what the culture valued I guess

  • @joeevans5770
    @joeevans5770 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13374

    Dionysus having one of the most stable Olympian relationships. Didn't see that one coming

    • @thundergozon6439
      @thundergozon6439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1790

      The fact that the word stable is not being used as a pun here is both giving me hope and making me die inside.

    • @JoshtheOverlander
      @JoshtheOverlander 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2476

      Dionysus and Hades be chilling on the sidelines while the rest of the gods be getting it on with everyone *but* their significant others

    • @starmaker75
      @starmaker75 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1291

      It funny how the the alcoholic is one of the more kind gods.

    • @do-nothingbear9474
      @do-nothingbear9474 4 ปีที่แล้ว +599

      Star maker 75 he’s a happy drunk

    • @oracle8535
      @oracle8535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +643

      @@starmaker75 You think, until you see all the guys he turned crazy and into various animals and grapes.

  • @juanmanuelpenaloza9264
    @juanmanuelpenaloza9264 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3149

    Could you imagine the Minotaur and Icarus having a chat like just:
    Icarus: "So apparently the only reason we're in here is because my dad made a fursuit for your mom."
    Minotaur: "So does that make us brothers?"
    Icarus: "I don't know... maybe."

    • @carlosroo5460
      @carlosroo5460 4 ปีที่แล้ว +203

      I think more like uncle and nephew.

    • @Nazuiko
      @Nazuiko 4 ปีที่แล้ว +317

      That makes them step-cousins, at best; but really just "You're the son of my dad's boss."

    • @aphato2770
      @aphato2770 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      @@Nazuiko what are you doing step-cousin

    • @Hazyla
      @Hazyla 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Ta Ba **dies**

    • @Undomaranel
      @Undomaranel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      @@Nazuiko Make that "my dad's boss's wife's affair son." The minotaur isn't descended from Minos, though arguably there is a bloodline connection through Poseidon that makes the minotaur and Minos somewhat half brothers or cousins.

  • @theweirdgamer4073
    @theweirdgamer4073 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4129

    Ah yes, the Minotaur, the first cowboy.

    • @monhunterz5430
      @monhunterz5430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +171

      Firstly, I'm pretty sure i read this before on tumblr
      Secondly, HOW DARE YOU!!!

    • @theweirdgamer4073
      @theweirdgamer4073 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @@monhunterz5430 mwahahahaha >:)

    • @unseenmonster4506
      @unseenmonster4506 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      I mean he isnt wrong his he

    • @theweirdgamer4073
      @theweirdgamer4073 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@unseenmonster4506 Nope and here is another shower thought that I'm pretty sure no one thought of.
      Therapist, are just vent doctors.

    • @unseenmonster4506
      @unseenmonster4506 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@theweirdgamer4073 ...
      We have 2 minutes to live, but when we breathe the timer resets.

  • @Peteman
    @Peteman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3416

    Pasiphaë: "I want to commission you to make me a fake cow suit so I can get close to my husband's divine bull. Do you think you can swing it, or is it too weird for you?"
    Daedalus: "Lady, this wouldn't even crack the top ten in weirdest fetish crap people have wanted me to build."

    • @redwitch12
      @redwitch12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +583

      Ah, the curse of being the greatest inventor in the world. Not only do you have to keep dodging the tyrannical kings who want you to build them torture devices and complicated palaces, you keep getting calls from people who are determined to satisfy their kinks at all costs.

    • @zeeb2190
      @zeeb2190 4 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      @@redwitch12 it's a shame he didn't anticipate Minos being an asshole

    • @MrDalisclock
      @MrDalisclock 4 ปีที่แล้ว +197

      One presumes he charges extra for weird kink shit.

    • @Jess-pe8bq
      @Jess-pe8bq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +134

      redwitch12 or the kinky tyrants who want both

    • @VelvetCondoms
      @VelvetCondoms 4 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      @@MrDalisclock Better weird kink shit than the fucked up torture devices for tyrannical kings. Hell, given the budget differences, I wouldn't be surprised if the kings got the extra charges.

  • @fullmetaltheorist
    @fullmetaltheorist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3107

    "I need a cow suit"
    "Why"
    *"Recreational purposes?"*
    "Seems legit."

    • @aellin-jz9el
      @aellin-jz9el 4 ปีที่แล้ว +199

      People who do commissions for a living be like

    • @void_wyrm
      @void_wyrm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +149

      Ahh, yes, like all poor comission artists, they do not question the kinky shit they are commissioned to do

    • @BandanaDrummer95
      @BandanaDrummer95 4 ปีที่แล้ว +118

      Commission artist: "By recreational purposes what do you mean? How big do the holes need to be and where do they need to line up?"

    • @camramaster
      @camramaster 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Judge nothing, keep an open mind, and make sure to drink a lot of alcohol while making whatever to temove inhebitions.

    • @PhantomObserver
      @PhantomObserver 4 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      "By the way -- I charge a reasonable premium for no questions asked. Also, I have expenses. You'll have to give me the tools and materials I need."
      Later ...
      "Dad, where did these feathers come from?"
      "I was using them for padding for the inside of the Queen's cow suit. Rough leather on bare skin's not really nice, son."
      "Same with the wax?"
      "Yep."
      "So why are they in the middle of this labyrinth?"
      "Because King Minos is too cheap to buy extra storage space in his castle."

  • @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache
    @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3467

    5:40
    "Stop boning animals"
    Zeus: "No, I don't think I will"

    • @EveryoneElseIsWeirdImNormal
      @EveryoneElseIsWeirdImNormal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +147

      No Zeus is the animal

    • @ombreflowers6871
      @ombreflowers6871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Just Some Guy without a Mustache omg you’re here too?

    • @gonzaloolivera1954
      @gonzaloolivera1954 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      gotta say, you so have a nice taste in content XD

    • @fullmetaltheorist
      @fullmetaltheorist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hey its the guy from the thing

    • @krankarvolund7771
      @krankarvolund7771 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Surprisingly, Zeus boned no animals, only humans.... He however was a alot of animals XD

  • @armanmahmood9783
    @armanmahmood9783 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3442

    Dionysus: **has a functional relationship **
    Zeus: HEY

    • @gingermcgingin1733
      @gingermcgingin1733 3 ปีที่แล้ว +208

      I don't think Zeus is even capable of conceptualising a functional relationship.

    • @armanmahmood9783
      @armanmahmood9783 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Whats that?

    • @decoral
      @decoral 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@gingermcgingin1733 He is still married to Hera, so I guess things are working out for them😂

    • @gingermcgingin1733
      @gingermcgingin1733 3 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      @@decoral yeah, & she does her damnedest to kill off all the illegitimate children he has with other women & often the mother too. Doesn't strike me as healthy.

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@gingermcgingin1733 this is true

  • @eyesofthecervino3366
    @eyesofthecervino3366 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3032

    When you consider the whole "maiden of the labyrinth" thing, the Ariadne plus Dionysus connection gets especially interesting, seeing as earlier versions of Dionysus depict something of a deity of madness and the unknowable. They're really made for each other -- thematically, at least.

    • @Duiker36
      @Duiker36 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      It's a very Ursula Le Guin take.

    • @gergelykovacs4008
      @gergelykovacs4008 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      I mean yeah but do consider that in these labyrinths youre not supposed to get lost in(its one long line) its for religios dances

    • @prernap3104
      @prernap3104 4 ปีที่แล้ว +120

      And there are some stories that the Labyrinth could make you go mad (which makes sense as it’s an isolating underground never ending maze with certain death as the prize) so that fits well too

    • @Dyneamaeus
      @Dyneamaeus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +128

      Looking further in to labyrinths (how have I never done that before now?) they also appear to involve themes of introspection and rebirth, both of which would be appropriate to associate with Dionysus to some degree. Perhaps the 'Lady of the Labyrinth' was a Deity of deep introspection, religious euphoria, or some other altered mental state similar to the drunken state associated with Dionysus. But y'know, involving the labyrinth somehow. Coupled with Dionysus' own muddled biography that could somewhat explain how a plot that would typically be the focal point of a Greek myth (god falls for person, for real this time, person becomes immortal) is instead almost awkwardly stapled on to the end of one.

    • @leonmercury3732
      @leonmercury3732 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@Dyneamaeus all this discussion really brings home how little we know and how much we have to speculate. I would love to know the original beliefs, but this is a fantastic theory.

  • @1313fina
    @1313fina 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7029

    My headcanon: Dionysus made Theseus's love life a misery because he ditched Ariadne on an island.

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +759

      He probably give Eros monney to make Theseus love life horrible

    • @CJCroen1393
      @CJCroen1393 4 ปีที่แล้ว +197

      I can certainly see that.

    • @masodemic4509
      @masodemic4509 4 ปีที่แล้ว +605

      @@despinasgarden.4100 He bribed Eros with booze cuz Aphrodite wouldn't let him have any. He's too young.

    • @pleaseenteraname6590
      @pleaseenteraname6590 4 ปีที่แล้ว +110

      @@masodemic4509 I love this SO MUCH

    • @Grim_Sister
      @Grim_Sister 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Headcanon approved

  • @HaakonTheRayquaza
    @HaakonTheRayquaza 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1586

    Red: STOP BONING ANIMALS!!
    Loki: hey it's not my fault, he boned me!

    • @thegreatstoneddragon9432
      @thegreatstoneddragon9432 4 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      Hey, you're the one who rolled a Nat 20 on Seduction.

    • @HaakonTheRayquaza
      @HaakonTheRayquaza 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@thegreatstoneddragon9432 huh? what do you mean?

    • @_lucas_2066
      @_lucas_2066 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      He got raped by a horse as a horse
      (It hurt me to tipe that.)

    • @nidohime6233
      @nidohime6233 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@_lucas_2066 You mean a mare.

    • @_lucas_2066
      @_lucas_2066 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Stop. Now

  • @murataubakir8437
    @murataubakir8437 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1932

    "Forced oceanic trade"
    "Also known as piracy"
    Lmao I'm dying.

    • @RedXlV
      @RedXlV 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      This channel has some of the best euphemisms for piracy. This one might've been even better than "involuntary treasure reallocation".

    • @DanialTarki
      @DanialTarki ปีที่แล้ว +5

      “Organized seafaring theft”

  • @marymccann3500
    @marymccann3500 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4524

    Fun fact! Poseidon is the creator of horses, so his offspring being a horse is actually somewhat plausible. The wings are still a mystery, though.

    • @natureisneat8262
      @natureisneat8262 4 ปีที่แล้ว +268

      Wings are recessive from Ouranus

    • @alguiencosa6634
      @alguiencosa6634 4 ปีที่แล้ว +471

      In the oldest versions of the myth, Medusa actually had wings, apparently gold wings, as well as bronze claws and faces and wild boar fangs, a rare thing.
      It is as said at the beginning of the video, the Greeks (and most civilizations) to create monsters simply mixed animals at random.

    • @CJCroen1393
      @CJCroen1393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      What @Alguien Cosa said. The wings came from Medusa.

    • @PutoMedicoBrujo
      @PutoMedicoBrujo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +134

      @@alguiencosa6634 that explains pegasus mostly ignored sibling, Chrysaor being in some images a golden boar with wings

    • @teacup7044
      @teacup7044 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Oddly the sky and waters were seen as a reflection then often wings were put in place of fins. I could be wrong but I think that it goes back to when Posidon was king of the sky.

  • @devanskrobarcek2013
    @devanskrobarcek2013 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3441

    Funfact about Ariadne there is the depiction of how Ariadne become a goddess and it’s quite interesting
    Basically she was traveling with dionysus spreading his cult but king Perseus accidentally turned her to stone (using Medusa head) and was smashed and dionysus was so heart broken he begged hades to let him bring her back and ask Zeus to make her a goddess
    And to all those saying how happy and faithful the marriage is there is a story about that
    Basically Ariadne suspected dionysus was cheating on her and cried on a beach then dionysus told her it wasn’t the case and to prove it he turned her wedding crown into a constellation

    • @masodemic4509
      @masodemic4509 4 ปีที่แล้ว +463

      THEY'RE SO CUTE I'M GONNA SCREAM

    • @duckvenger3628
      @duckvenger3628 4 ปีที่แล้ว +138

      Hey there! I know yah wrote this comment a little while ago, but would you know a video/website/etc I could go to for further reading into this story of Ariadne being turned to stone? I'm trying to write a few short stories of the Greek Gods and would love to include tales of Dionysus and Ariadne's love, so I wanna take any chance I can get to learn more about them. Thank you! :D

    • @yesyouarecorrect1315
      @yesyouarecorrect1315 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      did... did you get this source from a fanfic called "Drunk on Love"? It sounds so similar. And im not tryna sound smart, nor ruining the fun, but didnt Dionysus/Aphrodite turn Ariadne's crown after their marriage? I mean, it _is_ a wedding crown after all.

    • @devanskrobarcek2013
      @devanskrobarcek2013 4 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      @@yesyouarecorrect1315 no I found about this story after scrolling through the link I post above researching for a project for school but I’m interested in that fanfic can u link it to me

    • @devanskrobarcek2013
      @devanskrobarcek2013 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@yesyouarecorrect1315 and I honestly would be surprised if there is major similarities between the fanfic and the story cause a lot of people would read a story and fill in the blank for add there own twist in fanfics

  • @dylantennant6594
    @dylantennant6594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +838

    Meanwhile
    Loki: I screwed a horse and spend a year pregnant to save Asgard. It was horrible (crying like a baby).
    Zeus and Poseidon: Our people do it for fun.
    Loki (crying harder) Make it stop! Make it stop!

    • @justanotheryoutubecommente2
      @justanotheryoutubecommente2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I've never heard of horse Loki before today. I really want to hear Red tell this myth next

    • @dynamicworlds1
      @dynamicworlds1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      So we don't want to remind Loki that Odin is _riding_ his kid?

    • @dylantennant6594
      @dylantennant6594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@justanotheryoutubecommente2 It was alluded to in The Prose Edda episode, but she didnt go into full detail.

    • @dylantennant6594
      @dylantennant6594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@dynamicworlds1 Depends, do you have a death wish? Because he can make that happen, death is his daughter.

    • @viktor681
      @viktor681 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Just Another TH-cam Commenter there’s actually a bunch of comments on the Prose Edda video about it. What Red said was “ so Loki does his thing” what Red means is “ so Loki get chased by the horse and gets pregnant”.

  • @insertclevernamehere1186
    @insertclevernamehere1186 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1730

    I wonder, why did Minos not just, you know, breed the bull with his cows and THEN sacrifice it? High quality offspring and Poseidon still gets his bull back.

    • @mutantmaster1
      @mutantmaster1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Zeus, horndog that he is, frowns upon killing your family members, so he might have been trying to avoid a celestial SMITE

    • @insertclevernamehere1186
      @insertclevernamehere1186 2 ปีที่แล้ว +294

      @@mutantmaster1 Breed the *original* bull *with his cows* for high quality *livestock* offspring.

    • @misselizabethplays8070
      @misselizabethplays8070 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Because, he is an idiot.
      I'd cite examples of this but you pretty much have all the evidence you need right here in this video.

    • @highlyopinionated5611
      @highlyopinionated5611 2 ปีที่แล้ว +251

      Because if Minos was smart, there wouldn't be a story.

    • @coltonwilliams4153
      @coltonwilliams4153 2 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      How exactly did Minos become a judge of the dead, again? He always seemed like an utter ass to me. Why would Hades have him in that position?

  • @NxTTxT
    @NxTTxT 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4049

    "so aphrodite made his wife fall in love with a bull"
    oh no
    "but then the bull has standards and politely says no"
    oh okay thank god
    "but then the wife decides to put on a cow costume"
    OH *_NOOOOOOO_*

    • @nonnayerbusiness7704
      @nonnayerbusiness7704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +304

      Oh MOOOOO

    • @FunnyFany
      @FunnyFany 4 ปีที่แล้ว +218

      panik, kalm, PANIK

    • @Drakin292
      @Drakin292 4 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people.

    • @janaterbio8010
      @janaterbio8010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +195

      I love the fact that the bull has standards, it's makes me all happy!

    • @LittleMissRequiem
      @LittleMissRequiem 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      jocontemporary It could be worse. Red never mentioned how exactly the Aloadae (see the “Ares’ Abduction” video) were conceived, but... well, let’s just say you may think twice about going to the beach ever again after you hear the full details.

  • @evilcow666
    @evilcow666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +948

    I love how Minos is the only person in Greece whos a jerk because he didn't kill something

    • @elijahpadilla5083
      @elijahpadilla5083 4 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      It's more that he killed the wrong thing.

    • @kosiak10851
      @kosiak10851 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@elijahpadilla5083 It's not a killing. Minotaur did all the murders.

    • @elijahpadilla5083
      @elijahpadilla5083 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @@kosiak10851 The wrong bull. He sacrificed the wrong bull.

    • @kylepessell1350
      @kylepessell1350 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      A god basically gives him the crown and he decides to try cheating said god by offering a sacrifice of lesser quality while keeping the beautiful bull as a trophy of sorts. That's pretty lame since Poseidon didn't ask for much as all and Minos is so greedy that he's willing to go back on the one promise he made.

    • @michaelfruetel273
      @michaelfruetel273 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@kosiak10851 That doesn't really absolve Minos. He still orchestrated the killings, which would (I believe) make him guilty of something along the lines of conspiracy to commit murder. (Any lawyers in the room are more than welcome to correct me if I'm wrong.)

  • @TheTimitor
    @TheTimitor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1724

    Ah yes, my favorite greek myth, "The original fursuit"

    • @gingermcgingin1733
      @gingermcgingin1733 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Look up 'skinwalker'

    • @allicommentishaiku8205
      @allicommentishaiku8205 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Why would you say that
      It would have cost you nothing
      Now I'm stuck with this

    • @i_need_more_sleep9050
      @i_need_more_sleep9050 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      This made me died 5 times

    • @banann_ducc
      @banann_ducc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@gingermcgingin1733 i dont think i will

    • @ranacroak9156
      @ranacroak9156 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I spit out my very, very hot coffee

  • @hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095
    @hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095 2 ปีที่แล้ว +362

    The scene where the bull gives a PSA about his standards is friggin hilarious.

    • @Blokewood3
      @Blokewood3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Pasiphae: Hey there, hot stuff...
      Bull: Oh puh-LEEZE! I only date real cows!

  • @Fubukio
    @Fubukio 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1363

    Red: "STOP BONING ANIMALS!"
    Greeks: "NO PROMISES!"

    • @drretard0343
      @drretard0343 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Yes indeed.
      *Oh wait but I am Greek...*
      *Fuck*

    • @drag0fek0
      @drag0fek0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@drretard0343 than a furry you shall be !

    • @Reishadowen
      @Reishadowen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      *New Zealand has entered the chat*

    • @thetuguar
      @thetuguar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah, who are they supposed to bone? Women?

    • @RandomThoughtsFromEll
      @RandomThoughtsFromEll 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      And the Welsh.

  • @BandanaDrummer95
    @BandanaDrummer95 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1489

    Red: "Stop boning animals!"
    Monkey king: "I'm technically a demon, so I'm still fair game."
    Red: "HORNY JAIL! NOW!"

    • @commanderjason7786
      @commanderjason7786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +114

      "STOP! YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW!"

    • @gewreid5946
      @gewreid5946 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      Yeah, he was more into the other kind of banging.

    • @Punaparta
      @Punaparta 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@gewreid5946 Like drums or...?

    • @garlandmueller740
      @garlandmueller740 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @Mullerornis He got married, so subtext and such. Don't see him being Christian either so the two don't cancel out.

    • @BandanaDrummer95
      @BandanaDrummer95 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @Mullerornis Honestly, I think his only reason would be because somebody implied no, but there's a loophole

  • @fashioni.star.
    @fashioni.star. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1623

    Last time I was this early, Zeus had just promised to be faithful to Hera
    Which was never. I’ve never been this early.

  • @lordofinnistrad8757
    @lordofinnistrad8757 4 ปีที่แล้ว +962

    Fun fact: Dionysus references Theseus ditching Ariadne in Hades.

    • @lissaquon607
      @lissaquon607 3 ปีที่แล้ว +215

      Posideon also apologizes at one point for the Minotaur. He refuses to explain just says its a a long and boring story.

    • @whatgsaid
      @whatgsaid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      I SCREAMED when I saw it come up in the game super casually.

    • @ForrestFox626
      @ForrestFox626 3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      Supergiant Games did their research

    • @atotalfiasco4213
      @atotalfiasco4213 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      Theseus says something too if you have the yarn of ariadne on you in his fight

    • @alyseleem2692
      @alyseleem2692 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@lissaquon607 ........
      Some say he's actually his son....
      Anyway,he's the cause behind his existence, at least.

  • @lystriadensine881
    @lystriadensine881 4 ปีที่แล้ว +411

    "...Ariadne is a Cretean goddess of the Labrynth which is dope as hell, but that's NOT what we're here for!"
    Dangit. Got me all excited for nothing.

  • @uria3679
    @uria3679 4 ปีที่แล้ว +505

    Who would be interested in Red covering the myths where Nyx scares Zeus because he was chasing Hypno, the myth where Nezha beats up the Dragon Kings, or the myth where Amaterasu and her husband/brother go on date which ends up getting a Food Goddess killed?

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I would like to hear more myths about the titan's

    • @akechijubeimitsuhide
      @akechijubeimitsuhide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Linfamy did that! (about Amaterasu):D

    • @hellocentral5551
      @hellocentral5551 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That would be awesome. I would like that.

    • @gormauslander
      @gormauslander 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      All of the above

    • @idkanymore12
      @idkanymore12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My top myths I hope she will eventually cover! Typical mythical shenanigans

  • @JordanGold5227
    @JordanGold5227 4 ปีที่แล้ว +415

    "Stop boning animals"
    A moral one wouldn't think need be stated, but here we are.

    • @SM-qv2om
      @SM-qv2om 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Thought that was just common sense

    • @raezad
      @raezad 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Furries go a looooong way back

    • @JordanGold5227
      @JordanGold5227 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@raezad Furry doesn't equal bestiality.

    • @Drakin292
      @Drakin292 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@raezad As I said in another comment, "Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people."

    • @sailiealquadacil1284
      @sailiealquadacil1284 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      There was a case recently in our city - horse owners were warned that there was this sicko around who'd break into stables at night and rape horses in their boxes. This can seriously traumatise and even kill them (depending on their size). Thankfully, it seems they caught that bastard.

  • @parkerbarnett6684
    @parkerbarnett6684 4 ปีที่แล้ว +844

    Red: Theseus is best boy!
    Me: ...you sure about that-
    Red: *immediately shows list of fuck ups going off the page*
    Me: There it is.

    • @lemeres2478
      @lemeres2478 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Best out of the boys of Athens, at least.

    • @tiringsarcasm
      @tiringsarcasm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@lemeres2478 I’d pick Alcibiades over him any day.

    • @coltonwilliams4153
      @coltonwilliams4153 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Of course he’s best boy! An Athenian kidnapping a Spartan (Helen’s original home) automatically makes him the best boy! Hmm. Actually, I wonder why the Spartans always get a bad rep… oh, yeah. Athens wrote all the stories. Right.

    • @christopherfleetwood5252
      @christopherfleetwood5252 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Laughs in Zagreus!

    • @parkerbarnett6684
      @parkerbarnett6684 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@christopherfleetwood5252 “Asterius. Other Guy.”

  • @frodoswaggins3132
    @frodoswaggins3132 4 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    “It’s biased, filtered, and offset from the source by several centuries”
    *Screams in historian*

    • @blueteller
      @blueteller 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Isn't that what all history is like anyway?

    • @Vizivirag
      @Vizivirag 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      We gotta cook with what ingredients we have. *feels your pain

    • @frodoswaggins3132
      @frodoswaggins3132 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      BlueTeller unfortunately, yes

  • @kiptheott
    @kiptheott 4 ปีที่แล้ว +851

    Can we get a little more info about that "Ariadne may have been a Cretan goddess" thing?

    • @Sunkuwong
      @Sunkuwong 4 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      There is a mycenaean goddess named Mistress of the Labyrinth. Nothing is known about her. That's about as much as I know. I have some short stories about Mycenaean gods and how they're forgotten, but they're mostly baseless and not the best if you're actually trying to learn, since the source material is nonexistent.

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Ariadne is married to Dionysus, i really want to see a video of them getting toguether

    • @thefriesofLockeLamora
      @thefriesofLockeLamora 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Seconded

    • @arandomqueerfanpeep7655
      @arandomqueerfanpeep7655 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Please Red give us more

    • @m.g.9468
      @m.g.9468 4 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      @@despinasgarden.4100 She is the goddess of labyrinths (aka of having/overcoming orientation problems) married to the god of alcohol (aka getting/beeing drunk).
      If you have ever problems with orientation or coordination after "worshipping" Dionysus, you pray to his counterpart/wife Ariadne to find your way.
      Maybe the Kretes had a party game in which you gor drunk and then had to find your way while having your eyes covered or being locked in a dark basement/ tunnel system.
      Dionysus probably fell in love with her after she helped him getting home after he had a blast. And she fell for him because... oh well he is the god of parties, wouldn't you?

  • @ezgiberf5137
    @ezgiberf5137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +371

    Knowing Dionysos' ancient history and the mysterious side he has(yes I watched your Dionysos video), I think it is fitting that he is actually married to a mysterious labyrinth goddess. Good for them.

    • @idkanymore12
      @idkanymore12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      It’s crazy how they’re among the few stable immortal relationships in this pantheon

    • @anez1266
      @anez1266 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@idkanymore12 Umm hello!
      Hades and Persephone
      Eros and Psyche
      You forgot these lovable dorks

    • @mase5995
      @mase5995 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Linezrodrigez 02 Also Perseus and Andromeda

    • @reyonXIII
      @reyonXIII 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Alas, all those listed here are the minority. These pairs are one finger short of a full hand. That's not very reassuring

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@anez1266 ah yes hades the sane one of the big three and his happy goth wife

  • @augustrempelewert4377
    @augustrempelewert4377 ปีที่แล้ว +208

    There's a hilarious side-story to Dionysus and Ariadne's love story.
    So in-between Dionysus seeing Ariadne on that island and them getting together, a local nymph named Psalacantha approached Dionysus and offered to be his wingman in wooing Ariadne in exchange for sexual favors. Shockingly, Dionysus -- the GREEK GOD OF HEDONISM -- refused this offer. Psalacantha, bitter at being rejected, went and told Ariadne "Hey, don't talk to that drunk god or go anywhere with him, stay away from him" out of spite, so in retaliation Dionysus turned her into a new plant named after herself. Fortunately, Ariadne didn't listen to Psalacantha.

  • @davididiart5934
    @davididiart5934 4 ปีที่แล้ว +384

    "Stop boning animals!"
    This is ancient Athens. You're being unreasonable here.

    • @mcpugh
      @mcpugh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Zeus: You have no right to say that.

  • @nawf4372
    @nawf4372 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1127

    Fun fact: It may seem weird that the child of a herbivore and an omnivore is exclusively a carnivore, when its head is very much the herbivore, but in reality cows are opportunistic carnivores. This means they mostly eat plants, but if the opportunity presents itself, they will eat a living creature.
    This is commonly seen on farms when a baby chick wonders in the cow field and gets gobbled up.
    Presumably, the Minotaur's "unique" birth cause a mutation that made plants unappetizing to its pallet, so it only at people. Or it total did eat plants, but being locked in a laberyth didn't give it much opportunity to eat anything except what Minos gave him.

    • @david18cruz1989
      @david18cruz1989 4 ปีที่แล้ว +119

      also if he probrably didint have 3 stomachs to digest just plants

    • @giboi03
      @giboi03 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      **whispers**
      *The minotaur is just Melon from Beastars*

    • @ghostgabe81
      @ghostgabe81 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Reminds me of the Fate version of the Minotaur. Asterios isn't really villainous but he's locked in a Labyrinth and the only edible thing down there is people... bull's gotta eat

    • @nnamdiodiaka6684
      @nnamdiodiaka6684 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      So Troy McClure was right when he said “If a cow ever got the chance he'd kill you and everyone you ever cared about”

    • @kylepessell1350
      @kylepessell1350 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Strangely enough, exactly how much and which parts of the Minotaur are bull / human can vary greatly depending on the source. The widely held belief today that the Minotaur had the head of a bull and the rest of it was human wasn't nearly so widely held back then so it is totally possible that his appearance was quite different in the original.

  • @arthel8026
    @arthel8026 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1407

    Red: “don’t let languages die kids”
    Me: *studies Latin harder*

    • @jeffbenton6183
      @jeffbenton6183 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I approve.

    • @Thatslifebro_
      @Thatslifebro_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      I actually don't think Latin will ever truly die, it's too embeded in Law and medicine so there will always be a need for classes and therefore teachers.

    • @puddleslime2238
      @puddleslime2238 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @@Thatslifebro_ Plus we actually have it recorded very securely now

    • @BawonoSA173
      @BawonoSA173 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      What about ancient Enochian?

    • @selenopheria
      @selenopheria 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Latin wasn't this hard when I was a kid!
      [studies French and Norwegian at the same time]

  • @Kelaiah01
    @Kelaiah01 3 ปีที่แล้ว +756

    Headcanon: I read that Dionysus "dies" during the winter and is "reborn" in the spring to symbolize how grapes wither in winter and then bloom in spring. I also read a theory that Dionysus and Hestia "trade off" the 12th Olympian seat, with Dionysus sitting in it during spring/summer and Hestia during fall/winter. Add to that the fact that one of the versions of Dionysus is the son of Persephone, as well as the fact that Dionysus also has oracular powers, and here's my idea:
    Whenever Persephone leaves to go back to the Underworld, Dionysus goes with her, and he throws lavish parties there for her and Hades. Ariadne would also go along, being the wife of Dionysus. So I imagine a scene of Hades, Persephone, Dionysus and Ariadne all hanging out, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, making merry and whatnot, when all of a sudden, Dionysus' oracular powers kick in, and he's able to warn Hades and Persephone of Theseus and Pirithous coming to kidnap Persephone.
    So when Thes and Piri arrive, Hades has a trap in store for them... and after the two men are stuck on the rock, Ariadne "reunites" with her old flame Theseus... and promptly points at him and laughs her head off. Later on, when Dionysus and Ariadne come back to the Underworld, they hear about how Heracles rescued Theseus. At first, Ariadne is disappointed that Theseus' suffering has ended... only to get yet another laugh when she finds out Theseus' butt was left behind on the rock. XD

    • @spencertang5155
      @spencertang5155 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Yyyikes Theseus can’t catch a break… served him right I guess for leaving ariadne behind like a jerk but still.

    • @artimuos903
      @artimuos903 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      But Hercules saved Theseus and Theseus also married to Hippolyta(Wonder Woman's mom). Also headcanon Dionysus favorite demigod is Percy a son of Poseidon.

    • @goatgeta6549
      @goatgeta6549 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Also kinda works with the myth of Zagreus being reborn as Dionysus because Zagreus was a son of Hades and Persephone

    • @beruktsehaye1018
      @beruktsehaye1018 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@artimuos903 Percy isn't a real demigod from the myths. He's a character made by Rick Riordan and in the books Dionysus hates him with a passion. But if you're talking about Perseus the one in the mythos then he's not the son of Poseidon but instead a son of Zeus (Like every hero in Greek mythology).

    • @Amy_the_Lizard
      @Amy_the_Lizard 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@artimuos903 Actually, in the Percy Jackson novels, Dionysus has a bit of an irrational dislike for Percy, because Theseus was also a son of Poseidon, and Percy reminds him of him...

  • @shotoboppin9227
    @shotoboppin9227 4 ปีที่แล้ว +669

    I can just imagine someone in Greece going “Woah my child is a demigod. Who’s the father?” Then she finds out that it’s Zeus and she’s just like “oh ok whatever”

    • @JoshtheOverlander
      @JoshtheOverlander 4 ปีที่แล้ว +99

      Zeus may be king of the gods, but having your child turn out to be sired by him is like the biggest disappointment. At least if your sugar daddy was Dionysus, you can expect your son to be a heckin' good party animal.

    • @shotoboppin9227
      @shotoboppin9227 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      JoshtheOverlander I agree, finding out that your child is Zeus’s is like “ yay, my child will turn out being a pedophile

    • @combine1175
      @combine1175 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Hera looms over her with murderous eyes, because justice isn't in her vocabulary.

    • @tobistein6639
      @tobistein6639 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      "Looks like Little Jimmy down the street has a new half-brother. I'll tell them to prep a seat at Demigods Anonymous for a couple years from now."

    • @s67and13
      @s67and13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@tobistein6639 You seriously underestimate how quickly demigods age.

  • @mrmimeisfunny
    @mrmimeisfunny 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1957

    Ariadne: My BF just killed my half bull half brother and ditched me on an Island.
    Dionysus: That's rough buddy. Want some alcohol?
    I wish I had a friend like Dionysus, or any friend.

    • @reyonXIII
      @reyonXIII 4 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      I can just imagine them. They're not just a sweet divine couple, they're legit drinking buddies.
      Their idea of a romantic evening is trying to drink each other under the table...and then going at it under the table. It's messy but damn if it ain't sweet.

    • @clockworkkirlia7475
      @clockworkkirlia7475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Aw, I'm sure you'll find friends! There are plenty of dionysusy people out there to find!

    • @messman10
      @messman10 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      It's the internet: full of the drive for booze and existential loneliness of the unloved loners.

    • @segevstormlord3713
      @segevstormlord3713 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@reyonXIII She was into him because he could help her forget her troubles. He was into her because she could ALWAYS find where they left their car, no matter how drunk they got.

    • @薇vern
      @薇vern 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I’d like a Ariadne x Dionysus fan fiction please

  • @defensivekobra3873
    @defensivekobra3873 4 ปีที่แล้ว +853

    broke: calling yourself an pirate
    woke: "i am an merchant that deals in forced oceanic trade"

    • @thomasnguyen5197
      @thomasnguyen5197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      the best version of being so woke

    • @wrath2501
      @wrath2501 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      You can also use the term "adventure capitalist."

    • @CliffCardi
      @CliffCardi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I prefer “High-Risk Trader”

    • @skvaderarts7009
      @skvaderarts7009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      "Cargo Embargo Redistributor" is the way I like to spin it. Pirate is such a naughty yet accurate way to put it.

    • @RavenCloak13
      @RavenCloak13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      defenseive kobra
      So... Privater?

  • @positivelink6961
    @positivelink6961 2 ปีที่แล้ว +664

    Can we all just admire Daedalus’s professionalism? He essentially gets a kinky commission and refrains from judging his client.

    • @videogollumer
      @videogollumer ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Well, he was a proud craftsman and would gladly take on even the most difficult and/or ridiculous challenge to prove he could do it.

    • @airplanes_aren.t_real
      @airplanes_aren.t_real ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Daedalus was the first commission artist that allowed nsfw

    • @moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863
      @moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Didn't he kill his nephew or am I just stupid

    • @videogollumer
      @videogollumer ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 Yeah, he attempted and either succeeded or his nephew's life was saved by a god behind the scenes.

    • @庫倫亞利克
      @庫倫亞利克 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 He killed his nephew Perdix out of jealousy (of having more potential as a craftsman than him), yes.

  • @nekogakuro8486
    @nekogakuro8486 4 ปีที่แล้ว +247

    the midwife who delivered the minotaur: what in the sweet home alabama is this

    • @idkanymore12
      @idkanymore12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Considering the head usually comes first, that must have been hilarious as hell

    • @appelofdoom8211
      @appelofdoom8211 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Midwife: It’s a cow!?

    • @reyonXIII
      @reyonXIII 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Fellow midwife: What's an "Alabama"?

    • @TyrannoLime
      @TyrannoLime 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      appelofdoom This was the founding tale of Alabama, a small nation south of Crete that died quickly, as it was only the two shocked Midwives and a handful of cousin-husbands. However, shortly before the American Southeast was colonized an archaeologist found a depiction of a woman birthing what looked like a cow. The archaeologists assumed it was some form of fertility goddess worship and thought the name Alabama would bring prosperity to one the new colonies in the growing USA. Little did he know it started as an explicative in Ancient Greece.

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      the minotaur prompty ate the midwife. because he does that. cause he's a bastard.

  • @merrittanimation7721
    @merrittanimation7721 4 ปีที่แล้ว +458

    Fun fact?: You know Phaedra from the myth of Hippolytus? That's Ariadne's sister. *Theseus abandoned a girl and then married her gods damned sister*

    • @kaykeunil
      @kaykeunil 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Huh this does not surprise me in the least since Theseus has no brain usually

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      Honestly? He deserved being trapped by Hades in the underworld, not to mention is he's fault he's son died.

    • @JoshtheOverlander
      @JoshtheOverlander 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@despinasgarden.4100 Really didn't deserve to be freed, tbh

    • @alasdeangel3929
      @alasdeangel3929 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Ancient Greece, everyone!!

    • @oracle8535
      @oracle8535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      And then kidnapped Helen when he was bored of Ariadne's sister.

  • @mera-mori
    @mera-mori 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1498

    “Forced oceanic trade”...”also know as piracy”
    Not gonna lie I laughed a bit to much....
    Edit: Thank you for the attention fellow _beings_

    • @Inconsolable_Weeb
      @Inconsolable_Weeb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It’s a very sarcastic joke :3

    • @D00000T
      @D00000T 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It’s not stealing, it’s just forced gifting

    • @angiepagan535
      @angiepagan535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      An overly sarcastic one :)

    • @comicstrider4851
      @comicstrider4851 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      *_B R A N D I N G_*

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Otherwise known as "freelance trading"

  • @kaijufan2000yt
    @kaijufan2000yt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +767

    The fact that you made Poseidon literary gave Aphrodite a twenty dollar bill is just perfect.

    • @zawarudo1161
      @zawarudo1161 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      20 Dollars are 20 dollars

  • @JustinY.
    @JustinY. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8313

    So basically the Minotaur was one of the first furry fanfictions to ever by conceived by mankind.

    • @anon_serenade
      @anon_serenade 4 ปีที่แล้ว +444

      Bro, how are you still kicking

    • @a.h.tvideomapping4293
      @a.h.tvideomapping4293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +246

      Corly I’m honestly not sure how’s he’s staying relevant for that long

    • @siberiandante
      @siberiandante 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Mayhaps

    • @qwertyasdf9290
      @qwertyasdf9290 4 ปีที่แล้ว +203

      @@a.h.tvideomapping4293 he went into a 2 year slumber and awoken a few weeks ago.

    • @eh9618
      @eh9618 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      I can't unread that ever again

  • @a.h.tvideomapping4293
    @a.h.tvideomapping4293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +835

    “Ok we are running out of stuff to make myths with what do we do?”
    “Just steal Aphrodites shipping abilities and use that on two animals”
    “Cool”

    • @moritamikamikara3879
      @moritamikamikara3879 4 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      "Those Minoans are weird and they worship bulls."
      "Hey, I bet they f*ck cows too."
      -Some random Mycenaean dudes.

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      One thing! Just one thing! Please tell IT to me: WHY tf do I have so many fans even though no TH-camr is unprettier than I am? WORLDWIDE!!!! WHY??? Tell me, dear dad

    • @a.h.tvideomapping4293
      @a.h.tvideomapping4293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      AxxL why tf are you here bot? If your not a bot stop being a 5 year old

    • @dubspool
      @dubspool 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      AxxL hey Zeus? Yeah the lighting bolt.

  • @AzureAiluren
    @AzureAiluren 4 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    Just to tack more on the Theseus side of things: Those fourteen Athenian youths? Tribute for a war that Athens lost to Crete, varying mythological justifications abound.
    The entire story is basically a revenge-fic.

    • @gutsmasterson2488
      @gutsmasterson2488 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Make sure your fics are written somewhere that isn’t the internet so you can mess with future archeologists.

    • @MrAuthor3DS
      @MrAuthor3DS 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Aren't a lot of Greek legends revenge-fics?

    • @artofthepossible7329
      @artofthepossible7329 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@MrAuthor3DS Revenge fics with the added bonus of consequences.

    • @Kurai_69420
      @Kurai_69420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Basically revenge Westerns before revenge Westerns were a thing

  • @BrieezySoul
    @BrieezySoul 4 ปีที่แล้ว +602

    Fun Fact: The name “Minos” was a title of the ruler, like Pharaoh.
    Not useful to know, just fun. I love these ruins! I’ve been to those on Crete.

    • @Riot_Bird
      @Riot_Bird 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That was a fun fact thank you 😊

    • @Starii_64
      @Starii_64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      So king minos is basically just called king king?

    • @BrieezySoul
      @BrieezySoul 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Vice- Virgo And now I learned something too! 😂

    • @demonkingsparda
      @demonkingsparda 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      So Minotaur means Bull of the King? That sounds badass af.

    • @tedvendlegard9776
      @tedvendlegard9776 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Vice- Virgo Or Sharia law, or CD disc,

  • @unrandomman3946
    @unrandomman3946 4 ปีที่แล้ว +478

    What Red says: Don’t let languages die.
    What I hear: PRESERVE ALL THE MEMES!!!

    • @olivierluisin1790
      @olivierluisin1790 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      the dna of the souls

    • @CJCroen1393
      @CJCroen1393 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      A lot of ancient mythologies did exactly that, so yeah! Let's preserve all the memes for future generations!

    • @OriginalCreatorSama
      @OriginalCreatorSama 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@CJCroen1393 and in 1,000 years when all that's left is memes, people will think 2020 English was nothing but this

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@OriginalCreatorSama And they'll be right.

    • @quynlanvuorensyrja5484
      @quynlanvuorensyrja5484 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Technical language is the greatest, most widespread meme on earth, so yeah, go for it.

  • @rain-cesiagavden5494
    @rain-cesiagavden5494 4 ปีที่แล้ว +502

    No one’s mentioning how Minos’ wife used the pick up line “ya like jazz?” on the bull

    • @MsPageMistress
      @MsPageMistress 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You know what's funny? Another video got released today that also said that line!

    • @cartoonishidealism582
      @cartoonishidealism582 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      BEEstiality

    • @OriginalCreatorSama
      @OriginalCreatorSama 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I've been trying to ignore it, honestly.

    • @yourmom5038
      @yourmom5038 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I had to pause the video, that drawing made me laugh so hard.

    • @sunspotmill1291
      @sunspotmill1291 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I noticed..

  • @ChaserNeos
    @ChaserNeos 4 ปีที่แล้ว +299

    You know, the minotaur gets screwed over. I almost sympathize with him: a poor misfit that gets mistreated by his stepfather for looking the way he does and has no healthy, emotional outlet. People forget he has a name. It's Asterius.

    • @DragonEmperorMycen
      @DragonEmperorMycen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Chaser Neos consider that this was his reality growing up. Yeah, the minotaur ate men but Asterios didnt ask to be born. When you think about the fact that other than the half monster thing, he probably aged around the same rate as humans, its even more messed up

    • @zoushaomenohu
      @zoushaomenohu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Not to mention the fact that given his bovine features, a carnitarian diet was probably NOT healthy for him. He has a ruminant head for crying out loud! He needs his greens!

    • @jeffbenton6183
      @jeffbenton6183 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@zoushaomenohu yeah, but a human stomach. No way he could've digested grass effectively.

    • @lucasferreyra777
      @lucasferreyra777 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      read the house of asterion by borges

    • @adaritter9597
      @adaritter9597 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He- he does need to eat people to live, though, is the thing

  • @Tobbe9975432
    @Tobbe9975432 3 ปีที่แล้ว +235

    It’s kinda amazing how simple it is to turn this less disgusting.
    Poseidon: ”So, you like my bull eh?”
    *Puts a curse on Minos so that his next child will be the minotaur*
    Minos: ”Oh come on!”

    • @Troublethecat
      @Troublethecat ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Pretty much exactly how it went in the book of Greek Myths I read in middle school lol.

    • @DDlambchop43
      @DDlambchop43 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Joseph Campbell used that joke in a lecture. "So you love the bull? Alright, I'll make your woman love the bull too." something like that.

  • @nikkitaloff8655
    @nikkitaloff8655 4 ปีที่แล้ว +676

    OSP: Posted 12 seconds ago
    Me, supposed to be doing my homework: THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT WHEN HE SAID TO PROCRASTINATE BY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL WITH OUR TIME

    • @onyxCD331
      @onyxCD331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      cheers, i'll drink to that bro, supposed to be doing homework too

    • @adrielcruz2736
      @adrielcruz2736 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nikki Taloff supposed to be paying attention to a google meet, but osp dropped a video, so rip my grades

    • @a.h.tvideomapping4293
      @a.h.tvideomapping4293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m currently doing online school

    • @severeanxietyandagreatsens8313
      @severeanxietyandagreatsens8313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I mean...we’re you doing history?

    • @adrielcruz2736
      @adrielcruz2736 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Raphaella Ponting nope

  • @hiimchrisj
    @hiimchrisj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +225

    The fact that the Minotaur seems easily killable in the sense that it dies by conventional means, yet Minos opted not to kill it outright, it sounds to me like Minos didn't consider the Minotaur a problem, just something you want to keep away from your own citizens.
    So him getting mad at Theseus for killing it seems appropriate to me. If he wanted it dead he probably would've killed it long before that rather than building it a home and giving it regular sacrifices.

    • @shadowclaw7210
      @shadowclaw7210 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      This guy makes it sound like Minos kinda cared about him?

    • @concept5631
      @concept5631 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ​@@shadowclaw7210 Love is a strange thing.

    • @phoebusapollo8365
      @phoebusapollo8365 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or maybe killing a monster is easier said that done? Mortal or otherwise?

    • @earlwajenberg
      @earlwajenberg 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Maybe he kept it to terrorize the Athenians, in which case it massively backfired.

  • @bucca2
    @bucca2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +459

    Kind of surprised you didn't mention this, but Theseus marries Phaedra, Ariadne's little sister, in a true move of dickery. Phaedra, you will note, is how Aphrodite gets Hippolytus killed.

    • @Blokewood3
      @Blokewood3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Theseus's timeline is confusing, but he probably didn't marry Phaedra until many years later, since Hippolytus came from Theseus's marriage to Hippolyta.

    • @Chaotic42Kami
      @Chaotic42Kami 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      ​@@Blokewood3 But wasn't Hyppolyta killed when Herakles took her belt? And wasn't that way before Theseus could've married her?

    • @Blokewood3
      @Blokewood3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@Chaotic42Kami That's another confused part of the story, but in many versions of the story Hippolyta actually survives her encounter with Heracles. In the ones where she does die, Theseus may end up marrying her sister Antiope instead (but for me, I think it makes more sense to assume Hippolytus was named after his mother).

    • @sydhenderson6753
      @sydhenderson6753 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Blokewood3 The version I'm familiar with is that she gives it to Heracles voluntarily. She may get killed by the other Amazons later.

  • @pastelguts6182
    @pastelguts6182 4 ปีที่แล้ว +684

    Dionysus on a random island: snnnnnzzzzz
    A maenad: Hey Dionysus! Theres this girl crying over here! What should we do!
    Dionysus: Uhhhh well see if she wants any wine!
    And that my friends is how my favorite greek god met his wife

    • @WhoamI-wc7pj
      @WhoamI-wc7pj 3 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      So romantic😭😍

    • @pelipoika88
      @pelipoika88 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      @@WhoamI-wc7pj Definitely more romantic than how my favourite greek god met his wife.
      "Hey bro, I kidnapped this goddess for you."
      "Zeus WTF!?"
      And somehow they lived happily ever after.

    • @coltonwilliams4153
      @coltonwilliams4153 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@pelipoika88 In Greece, you take the romantic stories where you can get them.

  • @masterofchaos7282
    @masterofchaos7282 4 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    Kind of want to see an OSP video on Chiron since while he’s not a god, he does play a decent role in some of the mythology (mostly being a teacher to the hero) and I think it’d be interesting to get a video on the forgotten son of Cronus.

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I would really like to hear more of him, i also really like he's relationship with Apollo (he's adoptive dad)

    • @geekacelol8982
      @geekacelol8982 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I wonder if Kronos ate Chiron as well...?

    • @Boss_Isaac
      @Boss_Isaac 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@geekacelol8982
      Nope. Kheiron was born of an affair that Kronos had with a nymph, and its said that he was born a centaur because when Rhea caught Kronos with said nymph, Ol' Pappa Cannibal took the form of a horse and immediately noped outta there.

    • @marseldagistani1989
      @marseldagistani1989 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Boss_Isaac so kinda like Loki with the horse?

    • @Boss_Isaac
      @Boss_Isaac 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@marseldagistani1989
      Well, its implied that the jötunn's horse raped Mare!Loki.

  • @hunterfox6176
    @hunterfox6176 4 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    A few thoughts:
    1)Theseus needed to have a spool of thread to help guide him back through what was essentially a looping spiral. Not even an actual maze.
    2)Dionysus has one of the most stable relationships in all of the Greek pantheon. And now I am just picturing him and Ariadne having a couples date with Hades and Persephone, talking shit about Theseus.
    3)Seriously, don't bone animals. How hard is that to grasp.

    • @InsaneFoxx
      @InsaneFoxx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I'd enjoy listening in on that couple's date conversation

    • @Ardito3709
      @Ardito3709 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Don't forget about Eros and Psyche.

    • @Evonne_Lee
      @Evonne_Lee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      getting the impression Theseus isn't the brightest bulb in the box here

    • @clockworkkirlia7475
      @clockworkkirlia7475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @oH well,lord! It differs from telling to telling, but the classic labyrinth diagram is a single corridor gone weird.

    • @segevstormlord3713
      @segevstormlord3713 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@clockworkkirlia7475 ​ @oH well,lord! , I'd never heard, before this video, about the "dancing path built for Ariadne" before, but it actually makes a lot of sense, since a classical labyrinth was just that: a singular, if complicated, path. There was no getting lost on it. For it to trap something within, it would have to be locked in, not lost inside.
      We tend, today, to think of labyrinths as particularly large or complicated mazes (using the word "labrynthine" to describe something horribly confusing and hard to navigate), and it is in line with the Minotaur myth's claims that it required a special string to help Theseus find his way out, and could trap the minotaur inside.
      Of even further interest: in D&D, minotaurs are _explicitly immune to mazes_ and can always find their way out! Which is even more weirdly removed from the myth, given the purpose of the original labyrinth was to keep the minotaur inside.

  • @anastasianicolaenco4476
    @anastasianicolaenco4476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +191

    1:07 _mysterious hieroglyphs unlike any seen on earth_
    I wonder what Lovecraft would have thought about this

    • @thundergozon6439
      @thundergozon6439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      take my like, you beautiful person

    • @pairot01
      @pairot01 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I mean, we found them on earth though

    • @oracle8535
      @oracle8535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@pairot01 Hush. Do not spoil the fun. I'll pay you likes.

    • @anastasianicolaenco4476
      @anastasianicolaenco4476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@thundergozon6439 Thank youu(/≧▽≦)/

    • @tobistein6639
      @tobistein6639 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Lovecraft was growing up around the time these discoveries were made. He might have heard of them.

  • @xaimaralexisii9095
    @xaimaralexisii9095 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    STOP BONING ANIMALS!
    "That sign can't stop me, I can't read anything from inside this fursuit."
    ~Pashipae probably

  • @bobbyturtle8766
    @bobbyturtle8766 4 ปีที่แล้ว +411

    “Stop boning animals!” The fact that this needs to said is disturbing

    • @moralityisnotsubjective5
      @moralityisnotsubjective5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Alongside stop boning kids. This is the world we live in, folks.

    • @SairinEarthsea
      @SairinEarthsea 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@moralityisnotsubjective5 and relatives. I'm starting to think humans are constantly in heat and just want to f*** until they die.

    • @Kami-ny5jo
      @Kami-ny5jo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Reminds me of that passage I read in the bible "you must not have sexual relations with an animal" the FACT that this needed to be said is baffling.

    • @PutoMedicoBrujo
      @PutoMedicoBrujo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      of course the "stop boning animals" had to be said, AGAIN, dont you remember the "animal brides" video?

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes it is

  • @s.g.7572
    @s.g.7572 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    4:47 Ariadne's shy lil blush makes me so sad, knowing how badly Theseus treats her later

  • @thebestcentaur
    @thebestcentaur 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Rest of the Pantheon: why can't you be normal?!
    Zeus: *screams*

  • @rynop99
    @rynop99 4 ปีที่แล้ว +403

    PLEASEEEEE a video on Hecate/Hekate! She’s a fascinating goddess and has a silly amount of epithets and stories relating to her

    • @hersheysbar28
      @hersheysbar28 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ^^^^^ This

    • @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967
      @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      YES

    • @rafagarau4518
      @rafagarau4518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yes pleaseeeeeee

    • @omarsalem1219
      @omarsalem1219 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ah she turns someone into a ferret and helps demeter look for persephone oh also medea used to work at one of her temples I think that's really it

  • @carlosnicolas2009
    @carlosnicolas2009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    Red: Stop boning animals!
    Zeus: -turns into an animal- HA! Loophole.

  • @izzy1221
    @izzy1221 4 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    A bull having higher standards than a human queen...I should be taking notes from this animal. *Know your worth my friends*

    • @wesleybird880
      @wesleybird880 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      also, don't be fooled by wooden cow suits, friends

    • @DarkSol16
      @DarkSol16 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@wesleybird880 A wooden cow suit made by the genius inventor Daedalus himself though.
      It's like getting the smartest engineer in the world to create the best sex doll.

    • @gamingdemigodxiii5630
      @gamingdemigodxiii5630 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wesley Bird IT’S A TRAP!

    • @NIHIL_EGO
      @NIHIL_EGO 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@DarkSol16 More like the ultimate murrsuit.

  • @BlissfulBluebell
    @BlissfulBluebell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +651

    Actual fun fact: several archaeologists had actually dug for this mythical labyrinth but came up with nothing and theorized that the Minotaur and his maze represented the earthquakes that plagued Athens due to being directly on a fault line. The sacrifices were actually the people being swallowed up by the earth.
    As for bonking a bull... idk they were probably drunk 😂

    • @zombyninja2576
      @zombyninja2576 4 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      maybe they looked at how the minoans like bulls and just assumed them boned them?

    • @linusmota9712
      @linusmota9712 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      @@zombyninja2576 considering how Athenians had the worst types of fetishes they just thought it was normal stuff

    • @MCArt25
      @MCArt25 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      on the other hand the Minoans had a literal bull cult and may have worshipped a god called Asterion

    • @stevenqu3
      @stevenqu3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@zombyninja2576 Now I'm just wondering how many cow suits Daedelus had to build

    • @lissaquon607
      @lissaquon607 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@MCArt25 wait... isnt the minotaur named sometimes Asterios? Might be why Minos was mad at Theseus- he killed their god bull monster.

  • @Dr.Matchstick
    @Dr.Matchstick 4 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    I just had a horrible realization, minos is a model father figure, he didn't leave his son, he fed his son, and got mad when his son died even though he isn't even his son!

    • @isaacorr3180
      @isaacorr3180 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I mean he still locked the minotaur in the labyrinth so he isn't really a model father

    • @Dr.Matchstick
      @Dr.Matchstick ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@isaacorr3180 oh fair point, I think at the time I made this I had a explanation but i have long since forgotten

    • @unm0tivateddumdum
      @unm0tivateddumdum ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@isaacorr3180to be fair if minos didnt lock up the minotaur then Crete could b in danger
      family is a family but he has a kingdom to protect

    • @justintime3656
      @justintime3656 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He's the father that spet up

    • @concept5631
      @concept5631 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@isaacorr3180 It was either that or the minotaur would probably eat his subjects.

  • @fishnewt1331
    @fishnewt1331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    3:35 “But that’s a story for.....four years ago, apparently.”
    Ah, a new meaning to the phrase “A tale as old as time”.

  • @nomamamano
    @nomamamano 4 ปีที่แล้ว +397

    " what kind of union could have made half man half bull?"
    "well that one is pretty straight forward, but you're not gonna like it"
    *rule34 has entered the chat*

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I'm reminded of that gag in the Bellerophon video which showed a bird and a horse on a date to explain how Pegasus came to be.

    • @oracle8535
      @oracle8535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      At least this one is better than Oedipus...
      Maybe...
      Kind of?

    • @hp22h78
      @hp22h78 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      The fact that she even had a cow suit commissioned...

    • @ihcfn
      @ihcfn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@oracle8535 I feel sorry for Oedipus, the poor guy didn't have a clue about everything that happened until after the fact. Then has a complex named after him as if he did it all on purpose!

    • @SoulOfTheReaver
      @SoulOfTheReaver 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I uhh.... I checked. There IS rule34 of this exact event...... No exceptions indeed.

  • @Voidway20
    @Voidway20 4 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    Me: Oh! An episode on the Minotaur! I’m really excited on how Red is gonna break down the origins of the myth and explain things like the Labyrinth!
    Red: How was the Minotaur created?
    Me: oh. *oh no.*

    • @kilianortmann9979
      @kilianortmann9979 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      My favorite explanation for the Labyrinth is that it refers to a double axe, called Labrys.
      And the palace of Knossos (pretty big and labyrinthy) was called Labyrinth, as in house of the many Labrys'. (Labrys'es?)

    • @marseldagistani1989
      @marseldagistani1989 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Ancient Greeks: Bestiality is part of our religion

    • @carlosroo5460
      @carlosroo5460 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@marseldagistani1989 And look to where that got you.

    • @kereminde
      @kereminde 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@carlosroo5460 Well, not forgotten, that's for sure!

    • @stars4809
      @stars4809 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When a mommy and a bull love each other very much...

  • @RelativelyBest
    @RelativelyBest 4 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    Theseus was my favorite Greek hero when I was a kid.
    In retrospect, I'm not really sure why.

    • @Bloodlyshiva
      @Bloodlyshiva 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Because you didn't hear about the bad bits, or glossed over them.

  • @wedran9225
    @wedran9225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +227

    "Minotaur" means "Minos' bull" if i'm not mistaken, He did have a first name.
    Its either Asterios, Asterius, Asterion or something of that variety.

    • @ngiorgos
      @ngiorgos 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You're not mistaken about minotaur, ταύρος (tavros) in modern greek means bull
      I did not know about his real name though, thaks for sharing! It seems to have some 'star' connotation... I don't know why...

    • @Gogetossj50
      @Gogetossj50 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@ngiorgos Asterios basically was/is just a common greek name.

    • @wedran9225
      @wedran9225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@ngiorgos thank you for confirming!
      And i saw another comment saying Asterion was Minos' fathers' name, so maybe its that.

    • @Gogetossj50
      @Gogetossj50 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ​@@ngiorgos With that being said however it was propably symbolic in the case of the minotaur: The star of the Labyrinth in the Cretan coins, according to some scholars, like Karl Kerenyi.

    • @xavierfaust9417
      @xavierfaust9417 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      In the game Hades, Theseus and his minotaur friend Asterius are bosses in Elysium.

  • @RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh
    @RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +956

    "Don't let languages die, kids."
    *Nods frantically* I'm doing my best, but I don't suppose you could go back 400-ish years and get rid of linguicidal England for me?

    • @jafortune
      @jafortune 4 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      Hey I'm working on a time travelling machine, but so far it only travels to the future at a rate of 1 second per second.

    • @clockworkkirlia7475
      @clockworkkirlia7475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Gaelic or Gaeilge? Either way, you can do it!

    • @RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh
      @RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@clockworkkirlia7475 Scottish Gaelic for me! But I have Irish-speaking friends and can have a conversation in it. I'm in Australia though so I also deal with language reclamation/maintenance here, and Gaelic-speakers in Canada are obviously close with indigenous language communities there, too...

    • @clockworkkirlia7475
      @clockworkkirlia7475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh Aha! I have heard of the Gaelic communities in Australia, and it's nice to see the language spoken on the other side of the planet. Possibly from you, actually, since I think it was on a comment on this channel. I'm more familiar with our *other* language (Scots) but I really want to learn Gaelic someday.
      That's super interesting; I do like the cultural cross-linking there. Humans working together to keep culture alive is always a good time.

    • @RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh
      @RaghnaidAnnaNicGaraidh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@clockworkkirlia7475 It was probably me! There are other Gaelic-speakers in Australia but a lot of them are older and can't use the internet very well! Most information online (especially on TH-cam) is stuff I've said.
      I can't use Scots at all, although I suppose I have a better knowledge of it than most non-speakers since I've grown up around a lot of Scots-speakers, including people who use Scots with me.

  • @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache
    @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache 4 ปีที่แล้ว +898

    *Daedalus:* "Pasiphaë, but is this hole for?"
    *Pasiphaë:* "Duh. That's for me to get inside the suit, Daedalus."
    *Daedalus:* "Woman, don't tell me how to engineer. I KNOW what that hole is for. What is this OTHER HOLE for?!"
    *Pasiphaë:* "...Cow stuff."

    • @kwaitefuni9152
      @kwaitefuni9152 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      big oof

    • @babypyroshark2604
      @babypyroshark2604 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Like udders and udders

    • @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache
      @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@agata6337 Always have.

    • @ahorribleterribleperson
      @ahorribleterribleperson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Tbh, if Daedalus is already popular enough to get commissioned for *this* , I'm pretty sure he made MUCH *MUCH* worst.

    • @fjhatsu
      @fjhatsu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Ahh yes the ancient fetish commision

  • @twotimesj6478
    @twotimesj6478 4 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    “HES A GROWING BOY WHO NEEDS SPACE”

  • @Freekymoho
    @Freekymoho 4 ปีที่แล้ว +413

    Hot take: King Minos is just the world's most commited step-dad

    • @thebronzedragon1
      @thebronzedragon1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      I mean
      Dude not only didn't kill the kid, but gave him a killer play pad AND a string of high quality meat
      So.... Yea kinda

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      I honestly like to think that he got mad that theseus killed Asterion because he actually cared for him.

    • @stugod5000
      @stugod5000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@despinasgarden.4100 wait the minotaur has an actual name?

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      @@stugod5000 yeah, he's name is Asterion

    • @wickederebus
      @wickederebus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      This almost makes the Okeanos Singularity seem worth it.

  • @nowhereman6019
    @nowhereman6019 4 ปีที่แล้ว +399

    King Minos: Cucked by a literal bull.
    Also, was the Minotaur just a NEET living in his step-dads basement?
    Minotaur: "GIMME TENDIES!"
    Minos: *throws him some Athenian youths*

    • @johnwilliamson4748
      @johnwilliamson4748 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Yes but not so much by choice it's more like his step dad locked him in the closet under the stairs out of spite and then used him as a why to threaten, humiliate and demoralise his enemies. In a way the minotaur was punished for existing while also being used a tool to punish others for existing.

    • @ShiftyMcGoggles
      @ShiftyMcGoggles 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@johnwilliamson4748 So, what you're saying, he was kinda the harry potter of crete.

    • @johnwilliamson4748
      @johnwilliamson4748 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@ShiftyMcGoggles Yea expect he ate people and instead of casting magic he was just a large cow.

    • @pdreding
      @pdreding 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@johnwilliamson4748 So he's the J.K. Rowling of Crete, then.

    • @genieglasslamp5028
      @genieglasslamp5028 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I kinda hate that I understood this entire joke.

  • @stevenpassmore5740
    @stevenpassmore5740 4 ปีที่แล้ว +563

    Red: "Stop Boning Animals!"
    Zeus: "so it's kosher if I turn into Animals to bone?"
    Red: "NOOOO"
    Hera coming from above at Zeus with a spear
    -we'll be right back

    • @carlosroo5460
      @carlosroo5460 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Don't bother, I'm done it with Zeus, in fact I think I'm gonna go watch videos of Kratos kicking his home breaker ass.

    • @chadfalardeau3259
      @chadfalardeau3259 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thor is a way better thunder god

    • @GenericProtagonist118
      @GenericProtagonist118 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      -we now return to your regularly scheduled program
      Zeus: *screams of agony*

    • @jordanfleming7022
      @jordanfleming7022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Considering how many abnormally large and powerful but otherwise normal animals there are in greek myths, I’d say its very likely Zeus went around making demi-animals as frequently as he made demi-gods.

    • @redwitch12
      @redwitch12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@jordanfleming7022 Zeus (watching the Calydonian Boar rampage around while Artemis stares pointedly at him): "Look, I just thought the Crommyonian Sow was a woman that had shapeshifted into a giant pig, so I figured it was gonna be a mutual kink indulgence, okay? I didn't know it was ACTUALLY A PIG and was gonna have a GIANT ANGRY DEMIGOD PIGBABY, okay?!"

  • @netherillager5959
    @netherillager5959 3 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    5:16 In a line from Dionisius in Hades, he actually mentions this encounter, as well as congratulating Zagreus for tearing Theseus a new one.

    • @gabbyabbott4965
      @gabbyabbott4965 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      The only two gods who don’t chronically cheat on the wives.

    • @TS17ADS
      @TS17ADS 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@gabbyabbott4965 actually there's a third one Eros
      And now I am imagining three of them sitting around a table and arguing their wife is the best one.

    • @trent800
      @trent800 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Technically Typhon doesn’t cheat either

    • @omarsalem1219
      @omarsalem1219 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Gabby Abbott actually Hades cheated on persephone twice with minthe the river nymph who persephone turned into the first mint plant and a sea nymph called leuce

    • @ameliorateepoch9917
      @ameliorateepoch9917 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Luece was a roman add on, so she never never existed in Greek mythology, Also Minthe was before Persephone and got jealous that Hades married another woman, so she started saying she was a better lover to Hades then promptly got turned into a mint plant by Persephone.

  • @Licardss
    @Licardss 4 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    "Forced Trade is known as Piracy". I mean, your not wrong

    • @nowhereman6019
      @nowhereman6019 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      "We get your cargo and you get to not die. I'd call that a fair trade!"

    • @safetymeasures167
      @safetymeasures167 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yes, she is. Trade, forced or not, means giving someone else something in return for something else. Piracy is breaking and entering, but with boats

    • @safetymeasures167
      @safetymeasures167 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Christopher Stanley giving what the gift of life? And how?

    • @Boss_Isaac
      @Boss_Isaac 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@safetymeasures167
      The peeps your'e pirating, i.e., gimme your stuff and me and my crew won't stab you all and chuck into the sea.

  • @CrazyGamerDragon64
    @CrazyGamerDragon64 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The way Red nonchalantly says "Oh, hey where'd that thing come from?" at 3:03 cracks me up for some reason

  • @Vfar0fa
    @Vfar0fa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +330

    "Stop bonning animals!"
    *Zeus has left the chat*

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Oscar Wind yes

    • @decoral
      @decoral 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Loki: *nervous sweating*

    • @Blokewood3
      @Blokewood3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Technically Zeus didn't bone any animals, he *was* the animal.

  • @kitkat25195
    @kitkat25195 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    In some stories it’s stated that Ariadne would only help Theseus if he promised to marry her when they arrived back to his kingdom. Theseus doesn’t want to marry Ariadne but still wants to get help, so he agrees and then when they get to the island he sees this as a perfect opportunity to abandon her.
    Wow.

    • @nkbujvytcygvujno6006
      @nkbujvytcygvujno6006 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Even if that was true, it wasn’t in the original version. And there was nothing stopping him from refusing to marry her once they got back to his kingdom, considering she had no more power once she left her own kingdom… aaand you shouldn’t teach people that deserting a girl to likely die on an unpopulated island is a reasonable response to them wanting to marry you, with you having all the power to reject them normally.

    • @sydhenderson6753
      @sydhenderson6753 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@nkbujvytcygvujno6006 I've seen a version where she went cavorting with the Meanads and Theseus abandoned her because she was gory. Don't know if that's from actual mythology, though.

  • @Percival917
    @Percival917 4 ปีที่แล้ว +204

    "Mythologically, Ariadne and the labyrinth go WAY back."
    *GASP!* THAT'S WHY THE ITEM THAT GETS YOU OUT OF THE LABYRINTH IN ETRIAN ODYSSEY (in the 3DS entries only) IS CALLED THE ARIADNE THREAD!

    • @francismarchand1637
      @francismarchand1637 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      In french, we have an idiom, "le fil d'Ariane", literally "Ariadne's thread", which means a guiding idea or concept, or a solution to a tough problem.

    • @nedwardnobqop6568
      @nedwardnobqop6568 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah man they go all the way back to the 3DS

    • @Nazuiko
      @Nazuiko 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ariadne's Thread is a standard thing in Atlus games; It's the 'return home' item in Persona and SMT: Imagine as well I think.

    • @appelofdoom8211
      @appelofdoom8211 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Even ignoring that bit the main thing ariadne does in any version of the story is let theseus find his back out of the labyrinth by giving him some yarn.

  • @manaalwajidali3408
    @manaalwajidali3408 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I love how we're slowly getting to "Last time in OSP Greek shenanigans" territory and getting recaps from Red's old videos :D

  • @TheCamster4545
    @TheCamster4545 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Ah! That Ariadne tangent was incredibly interesting, especially the concept of the marriage of her to Dionysus, or labyrinths/mazes to madness and intoxication. I would love to see a video on that, even if it is just a theorizing video. I know how twisted mythology can get

  • @michaelrauch8629
    @michaelrauch8629 3 ปีที่แล้ว +121

    I honestly feel bad for Minotaur who did nothing wrong he just was born and was forced into the monstrous role he was

    • @GSBarlev
      @GSBarlev ปีที่แล้ว +24

      It's also like, how exactly was it determined that he'd only eat humans? He's half bovine--I can totally imagine that he would have happily subsisted grazing in a large field, but his jerk of an adopted father was like, "No royal prince will be caught eating grass! No, let's use him to keep our vassal-states in line!"

    • @donnguyen1107
      @donnguyen1107 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Me too! Heck stories even give the Minotaur a NAME: Asterion/Asterius, which I’m thankful for the Hades game for doing. Some even call him Ariadne’s brother.
      Also remember in our reality a lot of people historically drug, starve or beat animals into becoming aggressive man-eaters, so who’s to say Minos didn’t do something like that to Asterion to force him into eating people

    • @donnguyen1107
      @donnguyen1107 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Check out Icarus and Apollo by Jay Bell. The Minotaur/Asterion in that book turns out to be a gentle giant who’s been secretly fed and given books by Daedalus and secretly shows the 14 tributes and Theseus and Ariadne a kinda back door out of the labyrinth instead of killing them.
      He’s even implied to have a crush on a boy somewhere

    • @michaelrauch8629
      @michaelrauch8629 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@donnguyen1107 will do

    • @GSBarlev
      @GSBarlev ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@donnguyen1107 That's beautiful.

  • @j9_shine
    @j9_shine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    So uh when is Ariadne getting her own miscellaneous myth?? Never hear of her before but I definetly wanna know more now!

    • @CJCroen1393
      @CJCroen1393 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      She does have some interesting stories, though most of them involve her marriage to Dionysus. Of particular note is her death (how she dies varies--sometimes she's killed by Perseus which feels a little out of character for him, other times by Artemis, others by Sirens, etc.) and Dionysus pulls an Orpheus and heads down into the Underworld to bring her back. Hades tells him that if he wants her back, he has to leave behind his "best beloved". Depending on the telling, Dionysus either leaves behind his staff or grows a grapevine...and Hades declares this adequate payment, so Dionysus takes Ariadne back, makes her immortal (sometimes depicted as her becoming goddess of labyrinths) and marries her.

    • @kamishin7135
      @kamishin7135 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@CJCroen1393 huh, it's funny to think that alot of beings in hades do somesort of deal. Do you think the devil might picked up this behavior from Hades? That would be funny

    • @Thesaurus_Rex
      @Thesaurus_Rex 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@kamishin7135 Given how the devil is an amalgamation of at least half a dozen cthonic, trickster, or evil gods, it's entirely possible.

    • @Dravoll
      @Dravoll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      CJCroen1393 Regarding her character’s death at the hands of Perseus in some stories, one account is that Dionysus attacked Argos when Perseus was King and Ariadne was accidentally killed in battle. Since Perseus is defending his home, against an invasion, I think that fits with his character. Nonnus’ Dionysiaca has Hera incite him into fighting, so possibly his death was a case of her killing two birds with one stone: damaging the reputation of one of Zeus’ illegitimate kids by having him kill the wife of another.

    • @CJCroen1393
      @CJCroen1393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Dravoll Huh. That does make more sense.

  • @ihavenooriginalnameideas9036
    @ihavenooriginalnameideas9036 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    2:54
    So what you're telling me is daedalus made the first fursuit

    • @TheShanicpower
      @TheShanicpower 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Loki was pretty early too.

    • @oracle8535
      @oracle8535 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheShanicpower Though Loki could shape-shift, so...

    • @cartoonishidealism582
      @cartoonishidealism582 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Murrsuit. It was modified for sexual activity, therefore it is a murrsuit.

  • @negargeliyerdi3766
    @negargeliyerdi3766 4 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    The amount of bestiality in ancient greek myths is scary

    • @im-here-for-the-cult-stuff
      @im-here-for-the-cult-stuff 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Agreed.

    • @nowhereman6019
      @nowhereman6019 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I bet it was pretty common back then for women to be caught banging animals and then claim it was actually Zeus in disguise.

    • @ezgiberf5137
      @ezgiberf5137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      it is still quite common especially in not quite developed patriarchic socities (where you are not aloud have sex with women before marriage.) there was a documentary about it too you can look it up.

    • @alasdeangel3929
      @alasdeangel3929 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@ezgiberf5137 I will not subject my brain to such a thing. Thank you very much.

    • @morganrobinson8042
      @morganrobinson8042 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Not really. This is pretty much like a slightly more secular version of Shinto.
      Like, pretty much every animist religion has a pretty permeable barrier as to what constitutes a person. There's a wide spectrum between animal as we understand them and actual humans that's mostly filled in with shapeshifting gods and trickster entities. Animals as a symbol and link to primal forces in the place of a parent is pretty basic heroic characterization literally everywhere. The unfortunate implications only really kick in when you try to reconcile the understanding that humans are fundamentally distinct from other animals with the way their use as symbols can be distinctly opposed to that division.
      Greek mythology is kind of right on the edge of that sort of religion though, which is why the animals are distinctly animals so much of the time, when a more mystically significant actor would probably have been present in the earlier versions. The more they removed themselves from direct nature worship, the more the myths based in those psychologically primal images became remote to their understanding of themselves, the more animals became literally animals instead of something more like how pretty much any tribe, anywhere, ever, has treated them as symbols for pretty much everything.

  • @melissachan721
    @melissachan721 3 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    I don't know why ppl kept going to the Oracle of Delphi, it literally never ends with a happy ending

    • @yaitz3313
      @yaitz3313 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      No, the times when it went well just weren't interesting enough to become myths. Except that one time with the Battle of Salamis.

    • @shadowldrago
      @shadowldrago 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      It's less that going poorly and more people trying to avoid the prophecies that tends to screw them over.

    • @Extrinoo
      @Extrinoo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@shadowldrago whether people try to avoid death prophecies or not, they will die. That's just how prophecies work.

    • @shadowldrago
      @shadowldrago 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@Extrinoo True, but it's not impossible to imagine that going out of one's way to try to screw destiny to this extent only makes it that much worse.

    • @mirjanbouma
      @mirjanbouma 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Hey Psyche got a good ending!

  • @anez1266
    @anez1266 4 ปีที่แล้ว +506

    Hades x Persephone
    Eros x Psyche
    Dionysus x Ariadne
    The only Olympian Gods who have a FAITHFULLY & LOVING marriage

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      Odysseus and Penelope
      But those are mortal but it still counts

    • @icecreamcat2476
      @icecreamcat2476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@crawlingboy Why would it count if we're talking about gods instead of mortals?

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@icecreamcat2476 cause they are one of the very rare stable myth relationships of greek

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      @@joaonunoespiritosanto6233 no they did not that is one way of the myth
      Hades never cheated on her and persephone and that adonis thing has two versions
      The more logical one where the boy who she raised from a baby was about to be taken away by aphrodite who has been known to cause the death of her lovers
      Or the weird one where she also wanted to bang adonis even though she has stated many times how she only loves hades

    • @chocotoasties2671
      @chocotoasties2671 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Hades literally kidnapped his niece after spying on her naked. Persephone becoming queen and never being cheated on doesn't erase that.

  • @InsaneFoxx
    @InsaneFoxx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +171

    Red: "stop boning animals"
    Me: what would be the result of the minotaur hooking up with a centaur? like a half bull, half horse, or just a regular dude? If it's a regular dude, would he be counted in the stop boning animals part?

    • @wickederebus
      @wickederebus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      well, here are some outcomes
      Bull + Horse hybrid
      Human + Human
      Human + Bull
      Human + Horse
      or just 1/4 bull, 1/4 horse, and 1/2 human

    • @SairinEarthsea
      @SairinEarthsea 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@wickederebus add a few more animal ancestors and you get a chimera.

    • @NIHIL_EGO
      @NIHIL_EGO 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@wickederebus What about the bust of a Minotaur with the lower half of a centaur.

    • @jeffbenton6183
      @jeffbenton6183 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@NIHIL_EGO You mean a regular centaur with a bull's head?

    • @NIHIL_EGO
      @NIHIL_EGO 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jeffbenton6183 Yes.

  • @travisherndon94
    @travisherndon94 4 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    Questions of the day: Do you think there were Ancient Greek Furries back in the day ? and if so do you think they drew sexy minotaur and Typhon on Deviantvase ?

  • @JustSomeDude42
    @JustSomeDude42 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I think one of the reasons Minos doesn’t straight up kill the monster is that’s it’s technically his son by marriage, and it’s a big no no to kill your family in Hellenistic Greece so Minos built the labyrinth as a… happy(?) compromise where he didn’t have to properly deal with the Minotaur but also not kill it.

    • @an8strengthkobold360
      @an8strengthkobold360 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Minos wearing one of those "I'm not the step Dad, I'm the Dad that stepped up" shirts.