*Zeus:* "My son is a genius. His inventions are ahead of his time. Literally!" *Tantalus:* "Oh yeah? Well my son is low in bad cholesterol and pairs well with red wine." *Zeus:* _stops mid-chew_
So, Tantalus’ list of crimes include: - Murdering a family member - Cannibalism - Theft - Violating the sacred rules of hospitality - Producing Agamemnon - Abducting a magical time-travelling dog
Fun fact: the reason why Demeter ate his shoulder was that she was still looking for her daughter, Persephone, and was still grieving to notice she ate the shoulder.
Fun fact; Rick Riordan brings up the conflicting stories issue in his Percy Jackson books by having Tantalus be punished for BOTH stories. He tried to steal nectar and ambrosia, so gets banned from Olympus and loses the gods' favor. In revenge, he invites the gods to dinner, claiming no hard feelings, and then tries to serve them ALL his sons. The gods flip out when they divinely realize all the meals on the table are frickin' children, so they BOOM! Fields of Punishment that asshole.
So Basically his version is: Tantalus:*steals from the Gods* Gods:*bans Tantalus from Olympus* Tantalus:*Kills all his sons and tries to serve them to the Gods* Gods: Hades. *GET THE POOL.*
@@lmaoitsme5271 I read pjo when I was really young and that’s what got me into mythology (not just Greek). Now I frequent history and myth channels and have taken a mythology course in high school. I owe it all to having read that “stupid pjo stuff” a decade ago.
@@thatnerdygaywerewolf9559 Cronos castrates his own father, Uranus. In some accounts describing Cronos' fate after the events of the Titanomachy (in which his son Zeus and co. fought the titans, including Cronos), Zeus imprisons him in Tartarus (which I know may not technically count as death because he's a titan but shh). I am referring to the latter event in my comment.
Oh hey I only just realized that Cronos also eats his own children, only for them to be resurrected later while he is punished by imprisonment in Tartarus. Not what I was thinking of when I made that comment, but a fun parallel nonetheless. On another note, what is it with Greek mythology and patricide?
BallisticPacifist Patricide was a cyclical thing for a lot of monarchies , that’s why Zeus was afraid Athena would kill him but she came out like nah dog I don’t want to be king or revenge for my dead mom (so she made democracy and overthrew him anyway)
"Poseidon took one look at him and got O U T R A G E O U S L Y H O R N Y" Is it just me or does a god/goddess getting like that seem to describe . . . most ancient greek myths?
lordnorj yeah, it was only really men that she hated. And I mean... well, this was Greek times so maybe not *irrationally*, but enough to at least fire a warning shot at them. Specifically, their “leg”
Hera, Hades, Athena, and Hephaestus seem to be the only major gods that didn't sleep around, with Artemis being an additonal possible exception depending on whether you believe she was actually "virginal" or solely intimate with other women.
So basically Hephestus made a time machine. Built a guard dog to protect his dad. Sent it back in time. Ensured he'd be born. Closing a potential time loop
Pelops, that mad lad. Also, I've noticed Poseidon gets less upset with his one night stands when they decide to find love than other Greek gods *Cough* Zeus *Cough*
@@anonymousfellow8879 Well the ancient greeks weren't always the best in that regard. I mean, from my understanding being rude to your host was a worse crime than having sex with a girl without her consent. Let us appriciate how we have improved.
@@anonymousfellow8879 My primary language isn't english, but aren't the phrases "was a worse crime than having sex with a girl without her consent." synonymous with "was a worse crime than raping a girl."? I just don't get why he needed to be corrected.
@@OptimusPhillip he probably did that as well. The reason you hear so many myths about Zeus banging chicks is because the children got famous, if he bangs a dude the story ends there.
@@nousername191 or maybe she would be like “you know what? He’s actually majorly a cutie I’ll let you off the hook for THIS ONE TIME” and repeat If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Hera during my Ancient Greek studies: she’s vain and petty.
Keep Perspective, believe me, by greek mythology standards, he is FAR from being the worst person alive. He is often accused of being arrogant and unfaithful, but most greek heroes and gods are arrogant and unfaithful. And he only sacrificed his daughter because the goddess artemis forced him to. He is not the pleasant guy around, but he is a respected king and even Achilles himself praises his warrior skills when they reconcile in the iliad, following the death of achiles possible male lover
@@franciscomm7675 to be fair though, Artemis only told him that she'd let his army pass if he did that because she didn't want a war to happen in the first place She just.. didn't expect that he'd actually DO it lmao
@@amp-le4699 there are many versions of this story, for example, agamnemenon kills a deer during a hunting trip, unware that it was sacred to artemis, so she demands he sacrifices his daughter. Besides, in most versions of the story, agamnemenon feels really bad for killing his daughter. At the beggining of iliad, he argues with one of his advisors and at one point he basically says "why should i listen to you? You advised me to kill my daughter" Every single time red mentions agamnemenon, you can see she has an anti-agamnemenon bias
Tigger Bane, he killed her because the gods forced him to. And believe me, in greek mythology, there are many characters who are FAR WORSE than agamnmenon. I cannot believe that red is saying that agamnmenon is worse than tantalus
I really appreciate the idea of Hades coming over to Tantalus's pool specifically to update him whenever one of his descendants dies tragically/does something stupid just to add a little spice to the punishment.
I really like the idea of having Tantalus cursed with restlessness - like restless leg syndrome, but so bad he can't ever stop moving, and when he tries to take a break, he'll go crazy with the urge to move again.
2:43 the next scene is him appearing next to the woman saying:"Rejoice mortal for I am your guest and I have decreed that we shall bang"*politely wipes feet before chasing woman
"I don't think there's a ballsier power move than getting a major deity you banged one time to be your wingman." Well I certainly didn't expect that sentence today.
Zeus: "Aephestus, I need you to create a dog to guard myself, and send him back in time to do it when I was a toddler". Aephestus: "And How you know I'll be able to do such thing?" Zeus: "because you did it".
The whole Poesidon giving Pelopes a chariot is one of the reasons I like Greek mythology. Sometimes the gods are bro's and others there assholes, you could imagine them as people.
@@Attaxalotl he has the least number of terrible stories specifically because he's the god of the dead and the greeks were superstitious about talking about him.
"Poseidon took one look at him and got outrageously horny" - Red, 2020 "Getting a deity you banged one time to be your wingman" - Also Red, 2020 Gotta say. Love these videos
"Getting a major deity you banged with one time to make you a favor" sounds like something every bard in an RPG campaign should probably have as an ideal.
Red: “I don’t think there’s a ballsier power move then asking a favor from a god you banged one time.” My immediate dnd brain: “That is such a bard move.”
To be fair the myths are more cautionary tales starring the gods because they’re the main figures everyone would recognise than believed scriptures, and monogamy wasn’t really the norm anyway, at least not for men (yikes I know, but it was Ancient Greece).
Pelops: Poseidon remember that time you blew out my back? Poseidon: Hell yeah man what about it? Pelops: Well I need you to do me a solid. There’s this girl- Poseidon: Done. Have a nice marriage Pelops: *proceeds to make a line of tragic Greek figures*
I read an interpretation that combined the two stories: Tantalus stole Ambrosia and Nectar and Zeus got justifiably pissed, but decided Tantalus deserved another shot and decided he could redeem himself when he has the Gods over for dinner. Tantalus invites them over and serves them his son.
Persephone: Hello? Demeter: Hiiiiiiii, How has my beautiful Queen of the underworld been? How’s my son in law treating you ?❤️❤️❤️ Persephone:...... What do you need? Demeter: Someone back from the dead Persephone: Well we don’t really do that here, why do YOU even want to revive a human? Is not like you to have affairs. Demeter: Well he was a great boy, so young, a grandson of Zeus *andImayhaveeatenhimbymistake* Persephone:......... mom I know things have been rough- Demeter:GODSDAMN IT KORE JUST FIX THIS
"That dish smells so tantalizing!" "I dunno, man. Smells like cookies instead of human sacrifice to me." "Excuse me wHAT" And that, dear friends, is an example of how being a mythology nerd comes with the ability to both start and stop conversations with a single sentence. It's a terrible power... But great for parties!
Technically, Agememnon is a descendant of Pelops, and Tantalus tried to kill Pelops, so really he should get points for trying to prevent Agememnon from happening
It makes sense if you go in knowing that Greek mythology is really a religion for at least every major city-state, and the just mostly welded them together without much care for whether the edges lined up. Hephaestus either wasn't always Zeus's son, or wasn't the original creator of the dog, possibly both.
Well, Demeter is not an Olympian. "Olympian" is a title Zeus gave to gods who aided him in his fight against the Giants. Not Tiants, those are different beings, although they are closely related. Just to show the scale of the battle, Athena killed a Giant by dropping S i c i l y on him.
WENCH, HA! Now that I think about it, it might not actually have killed him. The giants had a really weird weakness, they where completely immortal, but only against gods. That is why the gods asked Herakles for help, who was half mortal. Ares, always the Leeroy Jenkins, ran one through with his spear, but he did not die until Herakles s a w the giant has been impaled.
"Point is he stole a dog. Who does that?" Peta. And they dont even have the decency to keep them alive after, since most of the pets they "rescue" from loving homes die within the day
The version I heard was that Tantalus served his son as food to test if the Olympians were omnipotent or not (the story proved that they were not) and he was sent to Tartarus for the crime of testing the power of the gods.
Probably the version left behind by that guy who really liked reworking the myths to make the gods the bad guys because he had authority issues do to his city states leaders banishing him or something along those lines. I don’t remember the reason but basically yeah he had authority issues and rewrote a lot of myths to be significantly more anti gods.
@@miguelfrancescohogar7501 also zues knows for a fact that they aren't as in a myth I can't remember the name of he hides him banging a girl from his wife with a lightning storm which means one of two things 1. The gods aren't omniscient and Zeus knows that or 2. Zues's storms can hide things from the omniscient both things are equally likely
I think I heard a combination of two different stories - that Tantalus got mad because the gods wouldn’t let him bring ambrosia and nectar to Earth and so he cooked Pelops as a sort of revenge.
Jackass burns down a forest. Red : Yeah, that's horrible. Be more careful with your campfire, m'kay? Jackass steals a dog's bone. Red : ...what? And the rest of us learn why "Red Headed Demon" is a thing. Oh, and Jackass? ...Yeah, they're still finding body parts. Five states away. o0
Something to add: In some versions, this was supposedly during the time when Demeter didn't know where Kore (Persephone) was. So, the world was in a permanent winter as she grieved for her missing daughter. Tantalos, resenting the gods for the lack of food and freezing temperatures, decided he would shame the Olympians. Not only was he sending a message, saying "me murdering my son is entirely your fault because you have let the world die and this is all I can offer to you as food", he was also hoping they would eat it and not notice, so that he could prove to all the gods were fallible and shouldn't be worshipped anymore.
Okay, so I looked up the weird dog story and here's what I found: 1.) Technically it doesn't look like anyone specifically SAID that Hephaestus made it, but it does say that Rhea "had a golden dog made" and Hephaestus is usually the guy that you get for that sort of thing. 2.) One of the few sources for this is Pausanias, who records a myth (which even he notes is unusual) where Hephaestus is the son of someone named Talos, who is himself the son of the island of Crete, apparently? Weird, because Talos is usually an automaton that Hephaestus makes, but still-by this non-conventional genealogy Hephaestus could be older than Zeus and thus the creator of the dog. So there's your explanation, assuming that you prefer something that actually makes sense.
I'd like to imagine that Hephaestus accidentally made a time machine in his forge, so he made the golden dog and taught the cyclopes how to forge and create a stable time loop
I would like to missundestand your explanation and believe that it's logical for Hephaestus to be older than his father because he is the son of the sick robot created by himself before his father was born. Thanks for giving my stupidity the bases for a stupid explanation
"created by Hephaestus to guard baby Zeus" I think some of my neurons just blew their fuses because I've never heard about time travel in relation to Greek mythology.
@Sandvich Tsar Well Hephaestus’s origin story usually includes Dionysus fetched him, intoxicated him with wine, and took the subdued smith back to Olympus on the back of a mule accompanied by revelers. Almost everyone knows how the rest goes, so no explanation needed. Though there is also the story of Harmonia, a child of Ares and Aphrodite, who’s also Dionysus’s grandma; this is how the paradox is started. Hephaestus, blacksmith of the Olympian gods, discovered his wife, Aphrodite, goddess of love, having a sexual affair with Ares, the god of war. He became enraged and vowed to avenge himself for Aphrodite's infidelity by cursing any lineage of children resulting from the affair. Aphrodite bore a daughter, Harmonia, from Ares' seed. Harmonia grew up and was later betrothed to Cadmus of Thebes. Upon hearing of the royal engagement, Hephaestus presented Harmonia with an exquisite necklace and robe as a wedding gift. In some versions of the myth, only the necklace is given. In either case, the necklace was wrought by Hephaestus' own hand and was cursed to bring disaster to any who wore it. Harmonia and Cadmus were both later transformed into serpents (dragons in some versions of the myth). The extent of their suffering as a result of Harmonia wearing the Necklace is debatable because Cadmus and Harmonia are said to have ascended to the paradise of the Elysian Fields after their transformation. The Necklace then went to Harmonia's daughter Semele. She wore it the very day that Hera visited her and insinuated that her husband was not really Zeus. This led to Semele's destruction when she foolishly demanded that Zeus prove his identity by displaying himself in all his glory as the lord of heaven. All that’s left from Semele’s ashes is baby Dionysus, and that’s how the Dionysus and Hephaestus paradox is created
1:22 Demeter: Why Persephone? Why did you eat the damned pomegranate? Dionysus: Demeter! That's a human you're eating! Demeter: Hmmm? Did you say something Dionysus? Dionysus: You just swallowed his shoulder!
"Son! I need a time travelling dog. Make it happen. Oh, make it gold!" "A...What?" "Time. Travelling. Dog. Did I stutter? I know you made it because it already exists. So hop too, son."
_When the food is brought out_ *Zeus:* Okay, so we're all on the same page about this, right? *Artemis:* Yes Father, that is most definitely a person. *Zeus:* Okay, just wanted to make sure we were all clear on- O_O Demeter, what in the name of Khaos are you doing?! *Demeter:* _mouth full_ What? It's good. *Dionysus:* That's a dude's shoulder! *Demeter:* _looks at him weird_ Are you sober? *Dionysus:* When have I *ever* been sober? *Demeter:* Uh, that time with the pirates? _lifts another chunk to her mouth_ *Artemis:* Auntie, for the love of Gaia, stop eating that! Dionysus is right! *Demeter:* O_O _looks at plate_ I am going to need so much wine for this. *Dionysus:* I've got you covered.
(In the second version) Pelops: Oh hey everybody i'm Pelops Poseidon: How about we head over to my place and if you're good enough i'll pay you a favor in the future Pelops: Sounds like a good idea Theritus (my Greek Mythology oc who is Poseidon's kid): DAD DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE NERITES INCIDENT!!!!!!!
It seems like in the myths they often aren't. In the Odyssey, the only reason Athena even brings up rescuing Odysseus is when Poseidon is in Ethiopia and therefore not present to see what's going on.
The version I heard involved him doing it because he was pissed that they wouldn't *give* him the ambrosia (that he stole in one of the versions Red mentioned)
In another legend, one involving Persephone, Persephone felt pity over Tantalus. So she scooped up some water with her hands and gave it to him. She was never called out for this, cause you know, Hades spoiled the sweet cinnamon roll. And Tantalus was sad knowing she would forget about him.
usually Hades is the cinnamon roll in their relationship. its like the "looks like could kill you, is a cinnamon roll" and "looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you" thing. the queen is scary.
Dude, they need to cover that myth. The question though, is that should it be covered under miscellaneous myths or a Halloween special (since he's one of the first werewolves)?
The process Red describes at the beginning is also known as “Flanderization”. Also House Atreides from Frank Herbert’s Dune, are meant to be the descendants of Atreus and their lives are suitably tragic
*the gods see the "meal"* Zeus: Oh...no... Aphrodite: EWWWWWWW Athena: You sick sick... Dionysus: I'm nowhere NEAR drunk enough for this... Demeter: *mood eating*
Hermes brought him with him when he went back in time to become his father's best freind/foster brother and father Pan. This headcanon rectifies Pan being older than his father, Agipan's existance, and why there's only the cows and tortoise events recorded of Hermes' definately very rambunctious childhood Edit: this is a headcanon
Katie Aldred not to mention Wake Me (formerly No Fair Fight)'s version of Kiss From A Rose...which MUST be an Easter Egg at this point since it seems like it's in every video. It was even in the Starwhals/ Uncharted stream with Red singing Kiss the Girl and Blue cutting them off with Kiss From a Rose.
Breaking the laws of hospitality: meh Killing his own son: meh Serving his own son to the gods: meh Indirectly bringing Agamemnon in to his world: meh Stealing a dog: SEND HIM TO TARTARUS!!!!
I like to think that stealing a dog was the straw that broke the camel's back. Like, the Olympians are saying, "Getting real tired of your shit, Tantalus."
Me: Walks dogs, gets home, makes tea, sits down, starts up computer. Hermes: OSP posted a new video. Your timing, friendly neighbourhood Discord bot, is flawless.
Huh, the version I heard was that Pelops was a naturally gifted chariot racer and Poseidon took him to Olympus to teach him to be the greatest racer ever (and probably also to bang him)
This reminds me of the story of Lycaon, a cruel king who tried trick Zeus into eating human flesh and gets turned into a wolf because of it. I only know this story because in high school, I did this project that included research on the history of werewolf mythology.
IIRC, Lycaon was a descendant of Tantalus, wasn't he? Also, I love the poetic ending to his story--as Zeus watches him in wolf form slaughter a herd of sheep, he realizes that he didn't really change Lycaon at all. He simply made him as monstrous on the outside as he's always been on the inside.
huh. poseidon is surprisingly chill about his one-night stand pursuing someone else (which is very unusual for the greek gods)... that's an improvement
@@kashiichan Probably more to do with Pelops being a guy so it's expected he would later marry, and still bang dudes on the side, it was Greece after all
Honestly but that is most of the myths about Poseidon and his human or demigod lovers they'll just pull up to him and be like hey dude can you do me a solid and he does it
The version I'm familiar with kind of combines the two - he fed his family to the gods as an object lesson because as far as he was concerned the gods were at fault for mortality because they kept nectar and ambrosia to themselves.
(in response to 1:01) Oh that's easy, he just miss understood the Gods. See when the Gods saw how attractive his son was, they made a few passing comments along the line of, "Oh your son's muscles are so fine we could just eat off of him instead." Obviously in a joking Manor but Tantalus was just like "Well okay then, I guess they want to eat my kid & who am I to say no to the literal Gods of everything."
3:30 There’s some debate about whether or not Zeus was Hephaestus’s father. There are even versions where Hera gives birth to Hephaestus asexually. Also, please do a video about Hephaestus!!!
Even if we go the "Hera don't need no man" route for Hephaestus, she'd still have been swimmin through Kronos's small intestine at the time Zeus was a baby... since he hadn't freed them all yet.. on account of being a baby. >,> Time ain't quite THAT wibbly-wobbly lol
@@SuiseiUsagi And since Hera gives birth to Hephaestus in response to Zeus "giving birth" to Athena, Zeus has definitely been born by this time. By the way, Red really needs to do videos for Hephaestus and Athena. Maybe even the all-powerful fusion of Hermathena!
Modern People: "Soooo, there's an unmentioned time loop where magical dog made by Hephestus to guard his dad when his dad was a baby and before Hephestus was born?" Ancient Storytellers: "...In our defense, writing things down came much later! And oral storytelling has these hangups sometimes! And the word 'canon' wasn't a desire back then!"
And that's why Hephaestus is God of the Forge. He's so good, he engineers things _before he's even born._ His inventions were ahead of their time.
Gold Doggo AutomaTerminator
Or he also built a time machine and sent the golden dog back in time
ThunderGleek paradox dogo
He was so ahead of his time
Or it's a myth that predates the nicely codified Olympian family tree
*Zeus:* "My son is a genius. His inventions are ahead of his time. Literally!"
*Tantalus:* "Oh yeah? Well my son is low in bad cholesterol and pairs well with red wine."
*Zeus:* _stops mid-chew_
*Zeus*: Tantalus, what's on the stew?
Well. I'll be. The man is here too.
Also me!😄😄😄
with some fava beans and a nice chianti
Hera outraged murmur in the background: "He is not your son!"
*Pelops comes back to life with a prosthetic shoulder*
Pelops: What happened to my shoulder?
Demeter: ( '⊙ _ ⊙)
Pelops: I didn't ask for this ... *Ancient cyberpunk intensifies*
GamerPony we need to add ivory shoulders in Vaporwave Art now
@@GamerPony Jumps from the tower of Babylon and deploys inbuilt parachute. "I didn't chose this"
demeter: gotta friend called dagda.
Pelops is fucking cool
1:17 dionysus is like "man, im nowhere near drunk enough to eat that, and i'm basically never sober."
I mean he's the good of being sloshed. Even if he never drank a drop, he'd still be eternally sloshed.
Dionysus: Im not drunk enough
Dionysus 2 seconds later: *vomits and passes out*
"My entourage of hypnotized women would, maybe."
Dionysus: *looks at the meal* Sod that. I'm going to Burger King.
The only character that is somehow more drunk than Demoman
So, Tantalus’ list of crimes include:
- Murdering a family member
- Cannibalism
- Theft
- Violating the sacred rules of hospitality
- Producing Agamemnon
- Abducting a magical time-travelling dog
Change the last one to killing a dog.
you see, this is a man who needs a film, or just a good representation, like in a book... Rick? you there? good youve got it covered
HANGED FROM THE NECK UNTIL DEAD!
@@jacobbishop8067 *attempts to sneakily grab cheeseburger*
-Giving birth to Agamemnon
Zeus when he falls in love with mortals: *chaos ensues*
Poseidon when he falls in love with mortals: *surprisingly goes well*
Helps Amphitrite isn't all that jealous of her husband's antics.
EmperorTigerstar also it seems to turn out better for his lovers when they’re pretty boys than when they’re girls
Unless you're Medusa...
Well Penelaos descendants are a mess
@@iantaylor9664 That seems to be the course with most male-male pairings in Greco-Roman myth.
Demeter: imma just eat this dude's shoulder, ok?
Everyone else: ...
Ok...
They gave him another one
Fun fact: the reason why Demeter ate his shoulder was that she was still looking for her daughter, Persephone, and was still grieving to notice she ate the shoulder.
Don't worry. Not cannibalism if she's not human :^)
Nature cares not...how fitting
Fun fact; Rick Riordan brings up the conflicting stories issue in his Percy Jackson books by having Tantalus be punished for BOTH stories. He tried to steal nectar and ambrosia, so gets banned from Olympus and loses the gods' favor. In revenge, he invites the gods to dinner, claiming no hard feelings, and then tries to serve them ALL his sons. The gods flip out when they divinely realize all the meals on the table are frickin' children, so they BOOM! Fields of Punishment that asshole.
So Basically his version is:
Tantalus:*steals from the Gods*
Gods:*bans Tantalus from Olympus*
Tantalus:*Kills all his sons and tries to serve them to the Gods*
Gods: Hades. *GET THE POOL.*
@@jaydraws4881 what’s the music name used in 1:06 ?? Thank you for helping ❤️
@@doodidoodi7426 Take A Hint - Victorious soundtrack
Those stupid pjo stuff oh lord
@@lmaoitsme5271 I read pjo when I was really young and that’s what got me into mythology (not just Greek). Now I frequent history and myth channels and have taken a mythology course in high school. I owe it all to having read that “stupid pjo stuff” a decade ago.
dude: *kills and tries to get gods to eat his own son*
red: I sleep
dude: *steals a paradox dog*
red: REAL SH!T
You... I Like you.
when she mentioned Pandarious can never get indigestion i was expecting the story to go in a slightly different but also VERY SPECIFIC direction.
A paradogs, if you will.
OwO Crimes against pupper kind yo
*OWO* space pwupper continsuom has beans intorupteed, chu shal be poonished fir chur crimes
Zeus: shows sign saying "ABSOLUTELY NO KILLING FAMILY MEMBERS"
Cronos: hey wait
"This whole operation was your idea"
I'm 75% sure the myth version involved castration, not killing.
@@thatnerdygaywerewolf9559 Cronos castrates his own father, Uranus. In some accounts describing Cronos' fate after the events of the Titanomachy (in which his son Zeus and co. fought the titans, including Cronos), Zeus imprisons him in Tartarus (which I know may not technically count as death because he's a titan but shh). I am referring to the latter event in my comment.
Oh hey I only just realized that Cronos also eats his own children, only for them to be resurrected later while he is punished by imprisonment in Tartarus. Not what I was thinking of when I made that comment, but a fun parallel nonetheless. On another note, what is it with Greek mythology and patricide?
BallisticPacifist Patricide was a cyclical thing for a lot of monarchies , that’s why Zeus was afraid Athena would kill him but she came out like nah dog I don’t want to be king or revenge for my dead mom (so she made democracy and overthrew him anyway)
"Poseidon took one look at him and got O U T R A G E O U S L Y H O R N Y"
Is it just me or does a god/goddess getting like that seem to describe . . . most ancient greek myths?
Yes, every demigod and warrior was just Zeus not being able to keep it in his pants
TravenTalks I just imagine that all the gods and goddesses, except for maybe Artemis and Athena, have incredibly high sex drives.
@@AyubuKK Artemis surrounded herself with nubile young women, at least women of whom was willing to sleep with her, a fact Zues took advantage of.
lordnorj yeah, it was only really men that she hated. And I mean... well, this was Greek times so maybe not *irrationally*, but enough to at least fire a warning shot at them. Specifically, their “leg”
Hera, Hades, Athena, and Hephaestus seem to be the only major gods that didn't sleep around, with Artemis being an additonal possible exception depending on whether you believe she was actually "virginal" or solely intimate with other women.
So basically Hephestus made a time machine. Built a guard dog to protect his dad. Sent it back in time. Ensured he'd be born. Closing a potential time loop
Things got complicated when Skynet sent their own dog to try to kill Zeus
Ok
Greek Terminator.
Dogginator: Titanomachy
And tantalus also went back in time cause he was the son of zeus trying to steal the dog because if he wasnt born he has no eternal punishment?
"Do me a solid since we banged that one time?"
"Hell yeah!"
Ancient Greece, the truest form of guys bein' dudes.
Karashou Tengu BeSt PaLs
gAl pAlS
This post is excellent
Asking a dude you went intercrural with to help you marry a woman... ancient greek sexuality in a nutsack... er... nutshell.
@@tomswiftyphilo2504 a nutshell is basically a nutsack but hard
The gods at dinner:
🎶that’s a human person🎶
And now they're everywhere
Demeter: * Munches *
Other Gods: "Dude!"
Demeter: "Wuh? Oh, sorry, I was in my own head. What were we talking about?"
Knock knock, or clop clop I should say, it's those horse people I was talking about earlier
GREEKS
CHINA
Pelops, that mad lad.
Also, I've noticed Poseidon gets less upset with his one night stands when they decide to find love than other Greek gods
*Cough* Zeus *Cough*
Emalyn Scott
He’s just as rapey as Zeus, so massive points deduction there
@@anonymousfellow8879 Well the ancient greeks weren't always the best in that regard. I mean, from my understanding being rude to your host was a worse crime than having sex with a girl without her consent. Let us appriciate how we have improved.
docterzero AKA Malte
You literally don’t need to remind us.
(Also rape ain’t sex. It’s rape. Noncon’s rape. Dubcon probably is...but that’s why it’s tagged as dubcon vs rape/noncon)
@@anonymousfellow8879 I think he means, by ancient Greek standards. Obviously in our culture, there's no question that non-consensual sex is rape.
@@anonymousfellow8879 My primary language isn't english, but aren't the phrases "was a worse crime than having sex with a girl without her consent." synonymous with "was a worse crime than raping a girl."? I just don't get why he needed to be corrected.
Zeus: *bangs someone and leaves Hera to ruin their/their children's lives*
Poseidon: *bangs someone and then does them occasional favours*
You know, something tells me Zeus could've avoided a lot of trouble just by banging more dudes.
@@OptimusPhillip I feel like Hera would still be mad.
@@OptimusPhillip he probably did that as well. The reason you hear so many myths about Zeus banging chicks is because the children got famous, if he bangs a dude the story ends there.
@@nousername191 At least theres less demigods running around
@@nousername191 or maybe she would be like “you know what? He’s actually majorly a cutie I’ll let you off the hook for THIS ONE TIME” and repeat
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Hera during my Ancient Greek studies: she’s vain and petty.
Agamemnon: “What a beautiful day to be the worst person alive.”
Hades to Tantalus: “So we’re making your pool unpleasantly cold now...”
I hope so.
Keep Perspective, believe me, by greek mythology standards, he is FAR from being the worst person alive. He is often accused of being arrogant and unfaithful, but most greek heroes and gods are arrogant and unfaithful. And he only sacrificed his daughter because the goddess artemis forced him to.
He is not the pleasant guy around, but he is a respected king and even Achilles himself praises his warrior skills when they reconcile in the iliad, following the death of achiles possible male lover
@@franciscomm7675 to be fair though, Artemis only told him that she'd let his army pass if he did that because she didn't want a war to happen in the first place
She just.. didn't expect that he'd actually DO it lmao
@@amp-le4699 there are many versions of this story, for example, agamnemenon kills a deer during a hunting trip, unware that it was sacred to artemis, so she demands he sacrifices his daughter. Besides, in most versions of the story, agamnemenon feels really bad for killing his daughter. At the beggining of iliad, he argues with one of his advisors and at one point he basically says "why should i listen to you? You advised me to kill my daughter"
Every single time red mentions agamnemenon, you can see she has an anti-agamnemenon bias
@@franciscomm7675 Yeah and he didn't steal a dog he only killed his daughter!
Tigger Bane, he killed her because the gods forced him to. And believe me, in greek mythology, there are many characters who are FAR WORSE than agamnmenon.
I cannot believe that red is saying that agamnmenon is worse than tantalus
Tantalus: *kills son and steals from his host*
Red: ..Eh.
Tantalus: *steals dog*
Red: EXCUSE ME, WHAT-
You do NOT steal the Golden Good-Boi!
She's American. They place more importance on property than life there.
@@achintyanaithani889 Not necessarily
@@allanjbucknol4414 yeah, just a general rule. I think American culture is fascinating in that way. Materialism has replaced religion there.
@@achintyanaithani889 as a Christian American I can say that's more true than it should be.
Tantalus: "I'm going to do what is known as a 'pro gamer move'."
That works for all three of his crimes
I really appreciate the idea of Hades coming over to Tantalus's pool specifically to update him whenever one of his descendants dies tragically/does something stupid just to add a little spice to the punishment.
I really like the idea of having Tantalus cursed with restlessness - like restless leg syndrome, but so bad he can't ever stop moving, and when he tries to take a break, he'll go crazy with the urge to move again.
Never knew Zeus was a god of hospitality.. kinda surprises me what with his uh exploits
Thomas Johnson
Well, there’s nothing more hospitable than letting the king of the gods have free reign in your home... 🤦🏼♀️
Not politness, just hospitality
2:43 the next scene is him appearing next to the woman saying:"Rejoice mortal for I am your guest and I have decreed that we shall bang"*politely wipes feet before chasing woman
Zues has a lot of hubris
Well, he does make himself at home in as many ladies as he can find.
"Tantalus killed his kid"
Meh
"And stole a dog"
*HADES WAS RIGHT TO PUNISH HIM LIKE THAT*
THE DOG WAS A GIFT!
Especially since Hades is a doglover, like who would he be if he allowed that?
So...
It's not *what* he stole, it's who he stole it *from*.
@@kereminde Imagine if he killed the dog...
At least now we know where all the EM's of the world end up
"I don't think there's a ballsier power move than getting a major deity you banged one time to be your wingman."
Well I certainly didn't expect that sentence today.
Red's got a thing for unexpectedly awesome lines
@@justafallperson2108 Absolutely!
Same
I'm still laughing and crying at the dog paradox.
I was going to make an MGS joke but I couldn't think of anything.
Hearing Red's brain break as she tries to wrap her head around it cracks me up every time
It was actually Rhea who made it in most versions
@@NapaCat That explains everything
@@NapaCat let’s just ignore the fact that rhea made it in most versions so it’ll still be funny
Headcanon: Tantalus' punishment is just to be a dog under a dinner table, unable to eat the food he sees above him
Better: Chew toy for Cerebus, aka Spot.
I don’t know which is better!
I... actually like this version better
No, that'll make us feel sorry for him because all we'll see is a hungry dog!
@@agenttheater5 think of it this way, he's a rapid dog with a known habit for biting people
Olympians: What?! We’ve been served human flesh?!
Depressed Demeter: *slowly carries on chewing*
Depressed Demeter sounds like a meme.
Depressed Dememer?
She's the Goddess of Nature: Nature don't give a FUCK.
*spiderman sucking on his fingers meme*
Dionysus: "Damn, and I thought I was supposed to be the crazy one?!" 0_0
400
So Zeus's future son creates a metal protector to be sent back in time and guard Zeus as a child 🤔🤔🤔 that sounds awfully terminatory
Zeus: "Aephestus, I need you to create a dog to guard myself, and send him back in time to do it when I was a toddler".
Aephestus: "And How you know I'll be able to do such thing?"
Zeus: "because you did it".
@@neutronalchemist3241 time loops are complicated
Hey, they are literally descended from the Titan of Time.
@@neutronalchemist3241
Hugh jackman I
@@neutronalchemist3241 any
The whole Poesidon giving Pelopes a chariot is one of the reasons I like Greek mythology.
Sometimes the gods are bro's and others there assholes, you could imagine them as people.
thats what the greeks were going for
And then theres Hades who probably did the least "Let's file that under yikes" stuff, and still gets a bad rap for doing all the "you died" paperwork.
Agreed
I think that's the case of most if not all pagans gods. they are not apart of the world and not perfect so quite relatable to peoples.
@@Attaxalotl he has the least number of terrible stories specifically because he's the god of the dead and the greeks were superstitious about talking about him.
"Poseidon took one look at him and got outrageously horny" - Red, 2020
"Getting a deity you banged one time to be your wingman" - Also Red, 2020
Gotta say. Love these videos
Poseidon: *sitting at the dinner table*
Pelops: *enters*
Table: *jumps up as if something bumped its head into it*
This comment made my day.
I don't get it????
H A
Linezrodrigez 02 Poseidon’s dong
@@anez1266 seriously!
"Getting a major deity you banged with one time to make you a favor" sounds like something every bard in an RPG campaign should probably have as an ideal.
Replace Should with have
A Warlock whose patrons are his old flings.
Sounds more like some crazy cleric who worships Aphrodite or something.
... I am going to use that in a character backstory at some point.
@@Janoha17 "Heyyyy, sugar daddy!"
"For the millionth time, it's Cthulhu."
"Pelops is carried off to Olympus for...appropriately Ancient Greek reasons."
I think that is one of my new favorite quotes.
**Careless whisper blasting in the background**
Tantalus: *murders his own son*
Internet: eh...whatever
Tantalus: *steals doggo*
Internet: burn him alive and doom him to eternal torture.
... would making him starve and thirst for eternity work?
@@dejaypage1575 *Y E S*
The normal procedure for people who have messed with dogs is them becoming a new chewtoy for Cerberus.
That’s an accurate description of the internet
@@dejaypage1575 make is water cold
They loved him..
"uNTIL THE INCIDENT"
We don't talk about "THE INCIDENT".
@@thaddeusb8715 Red just did!
@@goldengirlgalaxy5667 I WAS MAKING A JOKE!
At least there wasn't a PROPHECY about the INCIDENT!
@@alanepithet2931 Let's keep the OSP jokes rolling, boys!
Pelops: Hey, Poseidon, bae, can you do me a solid?
Poseidon: Nah, but I can do you a liquid.
He could always freeze the liquid to make it a solid?
I chucked out loud at this. Thank you.
Ha
👏👏👏
Perish.
3:40 I love the dog's IDGAF look, like he doesn't give a crap about the chronological impossibility of his existence
Red: “I don’t think there’s a ballsier power move then asking a favor from a god you banged one time.”
My immediate dnd brain: “That is such a bard move.”
😂
Pelops the OG Warlock?
"About as exclusive as being left-handed" HAH!
So, about 10% of the population.
@@jackielinde7568 Sounds about right
Yay, I'm as common as Zeus' bastard children.
Surely a sinister omen.
As a left-handed person, i can guarantee that we are not rare
He’s the god of hospitality, YET HE SCREWS EVERY GIRL HE LAYS EYES ON-
Zeus everyone
Zeus is just zap branigon
Keira Taylor I mean the guy probably would say it’s hospitable to bang him.
Zeus: Hey, you know what's real hospitable? My loins.
To be fair the myths are more cautionary tales starring the gods because they’re the main figures everyone would recognise than believed scriptures, and monogamy wasn’t really the norm anyway, at least not for men (yikes I know, but it was Ancient Greece).
The ultimate form of hospitality
Could it be that Demeter (goddess of agriculture) eating Pelops is a metaphor for the decomposition of the body fertilizing the earth?
Maybe.
Ooh, that’s a really cool interpretation! It also link into how the Earth tends to kill things especially during Winter.
That's lit.
Except bodies are not a very good fertilizer.
But we all return to the earth after we die, so... kinda.
Maybe not intentionally, but it’s a cool idea that I’ll accept
That whole dog thing has the same energy as Arin Hanson saying "At age 6 I was born without a face."
I can hear it from here, deadtone and all.
My dad said I would be accepted as I was, but little did he know... He didnt lie, he just didn't know
"Conspire to steal a golden dog-"
ah yes, the GOODEST *B O I*
The boi with the heart of gold
No, that is Hachiko.
...I made myself sad.
@@Luinta Hachiko has a seat in Ultra dog heaven, gods just taking him on tour of heaven first as he is the guest of honour.
@@Theturtleowl screw that all dogs have a heart of gold but this dog's heart is made of Pure joy to the point that it glows with happiness noises.
B O R F
Pelops: Poseidon remember that time you blew out my back?
Poseidon: Hell yeah man what about it?
Pelops: Well I need you to do me a solid. There’s this girl-
Poseidon: Done. Have a nice marriage
Pelops: *proceeds to make a line of tragic Greek figures*
Poor Pelops. In Poseidon's defense, he's got the motion of the ocean.
@@Maria.Annette hooooo 😳😏
Never mind.😐😐😐
My headcanon: Tantalus got pissed that Poseidon banged his son, so he stole their food.
He was probably more pissed that everyone accused him of filicide.
I read an interpretation that combined the two stories: Tantalus stole Ambrosia and Nectar and Zeus got justifiably pissed, but decided Tantalus deserved another shot and decided he could redeem himself when he has the Gods over for dinner. Tantalus invites them over and serves them his son.
@@CJCroen1393 You mean the Rick Riordan version?
@@diowelamaeomega6019 Nah, this was on a blog I found once.
@@CJCroen1393 well the blog writer probably got that from riordan
Persephone: Hello?
Demeter: Hiiiiiiii, How has my beautiful Queen of the underworld been? How’s my son in law treating you ?❤️❤️❤️
Persephone:...... What do you need?
Demeter: Someone back from the dead
Persephone: Well we don’t really do that here, why do YOU even want to revive a human? Is not like you to have affairs.
Demeter: Well he was a great boy, so young, a grandson of Zeus *andImayhaveeatenhimbymistake*
Persephone:......... mom I know things have been rough-
Demeter:GODSDAMN IT KORE JUST FIX THIS
Lol. I'm guessing Persephone doesn't know about Iasion if she thinks her mom isn't getting up to romantic shenanigans.
Also aren't you a vegan mom?
Perfect
Head canon established.
@@michiamamomimi This is why
"Tantalus stole a dog! Who does that?!"
*John Wick has entered the chat*
jocax188723 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Hey now, to be fair that dog was slated to be put down. It wasn't a dog-snatching, it was a rescue! XD
"That dish smells so tantalizing!"
"I dunno, man. Smells like cookies instead of human sacrifice to me."
"Excuse me wHAT"
And that, dear friends, is an example of how being a mythology nerd comes with the ability to both start and stop conversations with a single sentence. It's a terrible power... But great for parties!
Grossly underrated comment. :)
I wish I could remember this the next time I hear that word. XD
@Frost E Bear I KNEW I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO OVERANALYZED THE DISNEY HERCULES MOVIE
That Weird Author 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Is it also the origin of Tartar sauce?
Technically, Agememnon is a descendant of Pelops, and Tantalus tried to kill Pelops, so really he should get points for trying to prevent Agememnon from happening
That could be a silver lining, a very slim one at best, but a silver lining.
Same vibe as OJ Simpson being able to be at peace now that his wife's murderer died xD
Red:...A dog made by Hephaestus to guard baby Zeus
Me: * Visible confusion *
*Barf Barf barf!*
Translation: "Come with me Baby Zeus if you wanna live!"
_Dogminator_
Hephaestus is a descendent of Zeus.
Arnaud Ménard his son
It makes sense if you go in knowing that Greek mythology is really a religion for at least every major city-state, and the just mostly welded them together without much care for whether the edges lined up. Hephaestus either wasn't always Zeus's son, or wasn't the original creator of the dog, possibly both.
Isn’t tantalus zeus son as well? So he went and stole a dog, made by his half-sibling, that guarded his father when he was a baby, with his brother
Olympians: oh ew wtf I ain’t gonna eat a person
Demeter: *FOOD is FOOD*
Well, Demeter is not an Olympian.
"Olympian" is a title Zeus gave to gods who aided him in his fight against the Giants. Not Tiants, those are different beings, although they are closely related. Just to show the scale of the battle, Athena killed a Giant by dropping S i c i l y on him.
@@schwarzerritter5724 man I wish disliking comments did anything, it would really come in handy.
Demeter maybe one of those people who believe you should eat wherever the host puts in front of you and be grateful for it or is incredibly rude.
@@schwarzerritter5724 "a" giant.
One giant.
And it took the entirety of sicily.
Holy shit
WENCH, HA!
Now that I think about it, it might not actually have killed him.
The giants had a really weird weakness, they where completely immortal, but only against gods. That is why the gods asked Herakles for help, who was half mortal. Ares, always the Leeroy Jenkins, ran one through with his spear, but he did not die until Herakles s a w the giant has been impaled.
"Point is he stole a dog. Who does that?"
Peta. And they dont even have the decency to keep them alive after, since most of the pets they "rescue" from loving homes die within the day
Wtf. Really??
@@AuraCreedOLD Yes, actually.
AuraCreed yeah they are the worst.
Hence why PETA is the literal worst thing in the world, ever.
@@AuraCreedOLD Yep. They'll take healthy, happy, well-loved pets from backyards and kill them because it's 'kinder than being enslaved.'
The version I heard was that Tantalus served his son as food to test if the Olympians were omnipotent or not (the story proved that they were not) and he was sent to
Tartarus for the crime of testing the power of the gods.
Probably the version left behind by that guy who really liked reworking the myths to make the gods the bad guys because he had authority issues do to his city states leaders banishing him or something along those lines. I don’t remember the reason but basically yeah he had authority issues and rewrote a lot of myths to be significantly more anti gods.
Omniscient not Omnipotent
Yeah, thats, the one I know to
@@miguelfrancescohogar7501 also zues knows for a fact that they aren't as in a myth I can't remember the name of he hides him banging a girl from his wife with a lightning storm which means one of two things 1. The gods aren't omniscient and Zeus knows that or 2. Zues's storms can hide things from the omniscient both things are equally likely
I think I heard a combination of two different stories - that Tantalus got mad because the gods wouldn’t let him bring ambrosia and nectar to Earth and so he cooked Pelops as a sort of revenge.
Zeus is also the God of hospitality
*_But clearly not the God of personal space!_*
Absolite 6 Nothin’ more hospitable than giving your guest a seat...on the ol’ thunderbolt
He absolutely is the god of personal space... In that he is in all personal space...
So, I'm going with "Today's Lesson is: Don't steal puppers or Red's gonna be upset?"
It's up there with "Don't burn down the Library of Alexandria"
Jackass burns down a forest.
Red : Yeah, that's horrible. Be more careful with your campfire, m'kay?
Jackass steals a dog's bone.
Red : ...what? And the rest of us learn why "Red Headed Demon" is a thing.
Oh, and Jackass? ...Yeah, they're still finding body parts. Five states away. o0
The last time I was this early Gods just killed people they didn’t like
Soooooo 4 saconds ago
Didn't they always do that?
@cak01vej i dont do history so idk
I mean he IS in the underworld, so I would assume that they did
Smote
Something to add:
In some versions, this was supposedly during the time when Demeter didn't know where Kore (Persephone) was. So, the world was in a permanent winter as she grieved for her missing daughter. Tantalos, resenting the gods for the lack of food and freezing temperatures, decided he would shame the Olympians. Not only was he sending a message, saying "me murdering my son is entirely your fault because you have let the world die and this is all I can offer to you as food", he was also hoping they would eat it and not notice, so that he could prove to all the gods were fallible and shouldn't be worshipped anymore.
I like this version a lot. Gods getting their comeuppance is always great.
Put that way it's almost noble.
"Poseidon took one look at him and got *Outrageously* horny!"
This is a big mood if I've ever seen one.
god i hate tumblr and twitter culture
Truly truly truly outrageous.
Doesn’t that describe like 90% of the gods 98% of the time?
@Joseph Buccelli You aren't incorrect.
Okay, so I looked up the weird dog story and here's what I found:
1.) Technically it doesn't look like anyone specifically SAID that Hephaestus made it, but it does say that Rhea "had a golden dog made" and Hephaestus is usually the guy that you get for that sort of thing.
2.) One of the few sources for this is Pausanias, who records a myth (which even he notes is unusual) where Hephaestus is the son of someone named Talos, who is himself the son of the island of Crete, apparently? Weird, because Talos is usually an automaton that Hephaestus makes, but still-by this non-conventional genealogy Hephaestus could be older than Zeus and thus the creator of the dog.
So there's your explanation, assuming that you prefer something that actually makes sense.
I'd like to imagine that Hephaestus accidentally made a time machine in his forge, so he made the golden dog and taught the cyclopes how to forge and create a stable time loop
@@utubrGaming so Terminator with a stable time loop
I would like to missundestand your explanation and believe that it's logical for Hephaestus to be older than his father because he is the son of the sick robot created by himself before his father was born.
Thanks for giving my stupidity the bases for a stupid explanation
Forget Hephastus. Isnt Tantalus a son of Zeus? So in the dog story... how? How???
@@poulomi__hari I figure the robot dog didn't just disappear when Zeus grew up, right? So Tantalus stole it later.
"created by Hephaestus to guard baby Zeus"
I think some of my neurons just blew their fuses because I've never heard about time travel in relation to Greek mythology.
Zeus was getting busy very early in his life
This is almost as weird as the Hephaestus and Dionysus paradox
Manuel Lara Hephaestus and Dionysus paradox? *say more right now*
@Sandvich Tsar
Well Hephaestus’s origin story usually includes Dionysus fetched him, intoxicated him with wine, and took the subdued smith back to Olympus on the back of a mule accompanied by revelers. Almost everyone knows how the rest goes, so no explanation needed.
Though there is also the story of Harmonia, a child of Ares and Aphrodite, who’s also Dionysus’s grandma; this is how the paradox is started.
Hephaestus, blacksmith of the Olympian gods, discovered his wife, Aphrodite, goddess of love, having a sexual affair with Ares, the god of war. He became enraged and vowed to avenge himself for Aphrodite's infidelity by cursing any lineage of children resulting from the affair. Aphrodite bore a daughter, Harmonia, from Ares' seed. Harmonia grew up and was later betrothed to Cadmus of Thebes. Upon hearing of the royal engagement, Hephaestus presented Harmonia with an exquisite necklace and robe as a wedding gift. In some versions of the myth, only the necklace is given. In either case, the necklace was wrought by Hephaestus' own hand and was cursed to bring disaster to any who wore it.
Harmonia and Cadmus were both later transformed into serpents (dragons in some versions of the myth). The extent of their suffering as a result of Harmonia wearing the Necklace is debatable because Cadmus and Harmonia are said to have ascended to the paradise of the Elysian Fields after their transformation. The Necklace then went to Harmonia's daughter Semele. She wore it the very day that Hera visited her and insinuated that her husband was not really Zeus. This led to Semele's destruction when she foolishly demanded that Zeus prove his identity by displaying himself in all his glory as the lord of heaven.
All that’s left from Semele’s ashes is baby Dionysus, and that’s how the Dionysus and Hephaestus paradox is created
@Mullerornis but even then wasn't Tantalos a son of Zeus? There is more than one occasion of time travel in that story
1:22
Demeter: Why Persephone? Why did you eat the damned pomegranate?
Dionysus: Demeter! That's a human you're eating!
Demeter: Hmmm? Did you say something Dionysus?
Dionysus: You just swallowed his shoulder!
Tantalus deciding to sacrifice his son, breaking two major taboos: Yeah, this big brain time.
"Son! I need a time travelling dog. Make it happen. Oh, make it gold!" "A...What?" "Time. Travelling. Dog. Did I stutter? I know you made it because it already exists. So hop too, son."
"I really gotta do this more often, because every time my poor left hand is like 'Why are you using me? YOU NEVER USE ME!'"- Red
_When the food is brought out_
*Zeus:* Okay, so we're all on the same page about this, right?
*Artemis:* Yes Father, that is most definitely a person.
*Zeus:* Okay, just wanted to make sure we were all clear on- O_O Demeter, what in the name of Khaos are you doing?!
*Demeter:* _mouth full_ What? It's good.
*Dionysus:* That's a dude's shoulder!
*Demeter:* _looks at him weird_ Are you sober?
*Dionysus:* When have I *ever* been sober?
*Demeter:* Uh, that time with the pirates? _lifts another chunk to her mouth_
*Artemis:* Auntie, for the love of Gaia, stop eating that! Dionysus is right!
*Demeter:* O_O _looks at plate_ I am going to need so much wine for this.
*Dionysus:* I've got you covered.
Meanwhile in the Underworld...
Persephone: "Pelops! What are you doing here?"
Pelops: "YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ATE ME!!"
(In the second version)
Pelops: Oh hey everybody i'm Pelops
Poseidon: How about we head over to my place and if you're good enough i'll pay you a favor in the future
Pelops: Sounds like a good idea
Theritus (my Greek Mythology oc who is Poseidon's kid): DAD DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE NERITES INCIDENT!!!!!!!
I love how you made that into a whole conversation XD
Lmao
@@GhostBear3067 Hades:”Wait, what?!”
"Hmm. Are the gods really omniscient? I know! I'll kill my son and serve them. Then I'll see if they know."
That's the version I heard.
And it proved that not only they knew, but that they had standards.
It seems like in the myths they often aren't. In the Odyssey, the only reason Athena even brings up rescuing Odysseus is when Poseidon is in Ethiopia and therefore not present to see what's going on.
Ancient Greek heroes/villains seem to be really bad at follow-up plans.
The version I heard involved him doing it because he was pissed that they wouldn't *give* him the ambrosia (that he stole in one of the versions Red mentioned)
I heard it was because he was angry at the gods for allowing Demeter to sulk while persephone was "missing" which lead to famine.
Tantalus: imma honor the gods
*by breaking all the taboos*
@3:47 "The point is, Tantalus STOLE A DOG! Who does that!?!"
PETA: (Starts sweating nervously)
We need more people believing in Zeus so he can properly smite all of them with lightning.
Berserk Knight or the Nordic gods
In another legend, one involving Persephone, Persephone felt pity over Tantalus. So she scooped up some water with her hands and gave it to him. She was never called out for this, cause you know, Hades spoiled the sweet cinnamon roll. And Tantalus was sad knowing she would forget about him.
usually Hades is the cinnamon roll in their relationship. its like the "looks like could kill you, is a cinnamon roll" and "looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you" thing. the queen is scary.
@@darklight4992 personal headcanon, their both cinnamon roles, just with the potential to be terrifying if you tick them off.
@@zachjaeger6401 I love it.
Honestly showing him some kindness every now and again would keep the punishment from getting dull
Demeter: "Delicious."
"Finally some good fking food."
OSP: uses "Hungry like the Wolf" for Tantalus
Lycaon: *offended gasp*
Ah, I wasn't the only one who thought that.
Same
Dude, they need to cover that myth. The question though, is that should it be covered under miscellaneous myths or a Halloween special (since he's one of the first werewolves)?
@@johnnygyro2295 Well hes not a werewolve. He simply becomes a wolf as a punishment
@@ShinigamiInuyasha777
Really? Then why do they call the condition "lycanthropy?" 🤔
The process Red describes at the beginning is also known as “Flanderization”. Also House Atreides from Frank Herbert’s Dune, are meant to be the descendants of Atreus and their lives are suitably tragic
Recently read Dune and immediately thought of them.
House Hakonen also claim to be descended from a Greek hero too BTW
I don't know which is more wack; Dune or Greek mythology
@@laden5568 Oh, wait until God Emperor of Dune, where Paul's half-human-Half-Sandworm son is ruling the galaxy as an iron-fisted tyrant
@@weldonwin
just finished that one, trying to get my hands on the next
*the gods see the "meal"*
Zeus: Oh...no...
Aphrodite: EWWWWWWW
Athena: You sick sick...
Dionysus: I'm nowhere NEAR drunk enough for this...
Demeter: *mood eating*
Artemis: Even I’m not crazy enough for this
Ares: what she said
Hephaestus: seriously
Apollo: thanks for giving me the tasty part
Red getting extremely confused about the dog is exactly how I felt too-
Sent back in time to protect Baby Zeus Connor from evil Cronos.
Hermes brought him with him when he went back in time to become his father's best freind/foster brother and father Pan. This headcanon rectifies Pan being older than his father, Agipan's existance, and why there's only the cows and tortoise events recorded of Hermes' definately very rambunctious childhood
Edit: this is a headcanon
Love the Victorious “Take a Hint” in the background of explaining the no-no’s
Katie Aldred not to mention Wake Me (formerly No Fair Fight)'s version of Kiss From A Rose...which MUST be an Easter Egg at this point since it seems like it's in every video.
It was even in the Starwhals/ Uncharted stream with Red singing Kiss the Girl and Blue cutting them off with Kiss From a Rose.
2:53 I love her voice
"And Poseidon's like HELL YEAH"
Breaking the laws of hospitality: meh
Killing his own son: meh
Serving his own son to the gods: meh
Indirectly bringing Agamemnon in to his world: meh
Stealing a dog: SEND HIM TO TARTARUS!!!!
I like to think that stealing a dog was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Like, the Olympians are saying, "Getting real tired of your shit, Tantalus."
@@TheCrimsonIdol987 if the straw is an anvil and the camel is a ferret then you are correct
Me: Walks dogs, gets home, makes tea, sits down, starts up computer.
Hermes: OSP posted a new video.
Your timing, friendly neighbourhood Discord bot, is flawless.
I know you said Hermes because he's the messenger-god, but why is the Discord bot not Eris?
Huh, the version I heard was that Pelops was a naturally gifted chariot racer and Poseidon took him to Olympus to teach him to be the greatest racer ever (and probably also to bang him)
Well, I suppose you could say that whatever version you hear, Pelops learns to ride either way sooo....
3:25 my brain: ......... what the hell....?
Red’s brain: *in slightly robotic version of her voice* “does not compute! Does not compute!”
My brain not braining
@@Ghost_world666 very much not braining. Even to this day. XD
1:17 I love the expression of Dionysus' face in this panel! He looks so uncomfortable!
"Man, I know I'm plastered, but not THAT plastered."
Basically, he knows he's high, but not high enough to actually consider eating Pelops.
Who else watches the video once then goes back to pause it to take in all the hilarious sight gags?
Red's stuff is comedy GOLD
Me! 🙋 But I have an easier time of pausing the video to read the text when I am on my phone or laptop for some reason then my tablet 😒
This reminds me of the story of Lycaon, a cruel king who tried trick Zeus into eating human flesh and gets turned into a wolf because of it.
I only know this story because in high school, I did this project that included research on the history of werewolf mythology.
I know it from Percy Jackson
@@vetabeta9890 same, I just finished HoO
Maybe turning him into a wolf isn't the best way to cure him of human-eating tendencies. But then what do I know?
IIRC, Lycaon was a descendant of Tantalus, wasn't he? Also, I love the poetic ending to his story--as Zeus watches him in wolf form slaughter a herd of sheep, he realizes that he didn't really change Lycaon at all. He simply made him as monstrous on the outside as he's always been on the inside.
huh. poseidon is surprisingly chill about his one-night stand pursuing someone else (which is very unusual for the greek gods)... that's an improvement
In all honesty it's probably because his potential paramour wasn't also a god or demi-god.
@@kashiichan Probably more to do with Pelops being a guy so it's expected he would later marry, and still bang dudes on the side, it was Greece after all
Honestly but that is most of the myths about Poseidon and his human or demigod lovers they'll just pull up to him and be like hey dude can you do me a solid and he does it
Demeter: *casually cronches shoulder*
Haha, i was like... an OSP video i haven't seen??? wtf is wrong with me!!!
Then i saw upload 1 minute ago
I feel at peace
hey its salter
@@crawlingboy sup
So, instead of the Golden Fleece, he went for the Golden Floof.
Highly underrated comment
The version I'm familiar with kind of combines the two - he fed his family to the gods as an object lesson because as far as he was concerned the gods were at fault for mortality because they kept nectar and ambrosia to themselves.
(in response to 1:01) Oh that's easy, he just miss understood the Gods.
See when the Gods saw how attractive his son was, they made a few passing comments along the line of, "Oh your son's muscles are so fine we could just eat off of him instead." Obviously in a joking Manor but Tantalus was just like "Well okay then, I guess they want to eat my kid & who am I to say no to the literal Gods of everything."
That is a glorious interpretation and I love it.
@@CJCroen1393 Thank you
@@pikagammerpluspizza7478 You're welcome ^_^
tantalus: i'm so hungry
the gods: BABY NEEDS SNACK. I GIVE BABY SNACK OF
N O T H I N G
1:18 I love the way Demeter (forgive me if I spelled it wrong) eats while Dionysus stares at her like “WTF”
2:54 I love the delivery of “hell yeah” here
"There's like 5 absurdities in that story"
A wizard did it.
Nope, definitely not, nuh-huh, wouldn't dream of it. That'd break one of the Law's Of Magic and we definitely don't do that here *shifty eyes*
@@PhilipTosh 😕 Philip. Anything you would like to tell us?
a wizard did it
"Wizards are just old men with glitter in their pockets"
The doggo is a terminator
3:30
There’s some debate about whether or not Zeus was Hephaestus’s father. There are even versions where Hera gives birth to Hephaestus asexually.
Also, please do a video about Hephaestus!!!
Every time i hear comeone complain about the lack of continuity in a comic, i point toward the nearest religion
I mean... comic continuity is still shit, just because religious continuity is even shitty that doesn’t make comics continuity any less shit.
Even if we go the "Hera don't need no man" route for Hephaestus, she'd still have been swimmin through Kronos's small intestine at the time Zeus was a baby... since he hadn't freed them all yet.. on account of being a baby. >,> Time ain't quite THAT wibbly-wobbly lol
@@SuiseiUsagi And since Hera gives birth to Hephaestus in response to Zeus "giving birth" to Athena, Zeus has definitely been born by this time. By the way, Red really needs to do videos for Hephaestus and Athena. Maybe even the all-powerful fusion of Hermathena!
Doesn't Hera threw Hepheastus off Olympus when he was born?
I mean, some of the gods did get eaten by their father sooo... ptsd from Cronos maybe
"Oh yeah, i cooked my son for you guys"
*the gods are now having war flashbacks*
That actually make the first version of the history more fucked up and at the same time more funny XD
3:33 logic.exe has stopped working
0:33
"which is at this point about as exclusive as being left-handed."
Given Zeus's spaghetti of a family tree, I'd say left-handedness is rarer.
It's closer to as exclusive as being right-handed!
"BABY FATHER, I MADE YOU A DOG!"
"Gaga."
Last time I was this early, the Monkey King was just being hatched from a rock
Hears "that's a human person."
Flashes back to History of the Entire World I Guess.
Modern People: "Soooo, there's an unmentioned time loop where magical dog made by Hephestus to guard his dad when his dad was a baby and before Hephestus was born?"
Ancient Storytellers: "...In our defense, writing things down came much later! And oral storytelling has these hangups sometimes! And the word 'canon' wasn't a desire back then!"