Ted Cruz Could Go Further To The Right
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ค. 2024
- Ted Cruz's parking job conveys a certain d-bag sais quoi... and reminds Stephen of that first time he did a thing that's now legal in Colorado.
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Stephen Colbert took over as host of The Late Show on Tuesday, Sept. 8, 2015. Colbert is best known for his work as a television host, writer, actor, and producer, and best known for his charity work teaching English as a second language on Tunisian date farms. Prior to joining the CBS family -- and being officially adopted by network president Les Moonves -- Colbert helmed “The Colbert Report,” which aired nearly 1,500 episodes and required Stephen to wear nearly 1,500 different neckties. The program received two Peabody Awards, two Grammy Awards, and several unwelcome shoulder massages. It won two Emmys for Outstanding Variety Series in 2013 and 2014, both of which appear to have been lost in the move. Colbert is pronounced koʊlˈbɛər, according to Wikipedia. His understudy is William Cavanaugh, who will be hosting The Late Show approximately one third of the time. Good luck, Bill!" - บันเทิง
I thought Stephen was going to tell us he's done gay stuff
+Jordy Shujaa I was thinking same thing ....
I think that's what they were going for.
+Jordy Shujaa Haha I thought the same.
+raf A obviously talking about pot you bright spark
Jib Maher yeah no shit sherlock..
Wait, Colorado legalized night skiing?!
hahhahhahaahahhahahaahhaaha xD
+Abnormal Wrench Shocking. Such debauchery.
you know skiing at night would really be something I would consider banning, as it's much more dangerous than cannabis.
But doing things like requiring First response teams to be present at any establishment that sells access to ski hills at night would work too.
Oh, the humanity!!
*Colorado intensifies*
An Oort Cloud reference. Another reason to love Colbert.
+Pat Connolly Indeed, most of the audience didnt get it tho :S
Wait, so Stephen literally smoked dank memes.
yes
It's all about the substance abuse for Stephen these days, booze, drugs, pen sniffing...
I will fucking riot if I get busted for sniffing pens.
when he was telling the story about bill, my first thought was that they were gay
same
Me too.
*"I'm just glad Bill wasn't taking photographs back then" LOOOOOL*
One of my favorite "Bible facts" is that the most common punishment for misdeeds is getting stoned.
oh shiiiiit it took me a second but lol.
+Michael Winter the muslims got it all wrong. D:
Who the fuck parks a car like that?
+747caveman747 Ted Cruz
He's sending a message. To quote Senator Shady: _Thanks for the support, asshole._
+Joseph Stalin *Ted Cruz's driver
+747caveman747 asshats
Sociopathic serial killers
Haha for a second I thought Stephen was coming out of the closet. Oh no wait he's talkin about weed
Hahaha!!! Ditto
+Alden Legge would like to upvote you, but you have 42 opvotes :D
Nekogami-Crystal Now there's 74. Clearly 346 more are needed.
Lol the same
this was absolutely hilarious so glad this exists
Imagine what would've happened if they smoked the daily horoscopes instead...
+AC-Wesley
I'm gonna start smoking pages of my calculus textbook to prepare for finals.
At first I was wondering 'How did three socially awkward nerds become such awesome adult people?' Then I got my answer. It must have been the magic weed.
All awkward nerds end up as awesome people. It just takes us a while to develop.
In all seriousness, people who knowingly take up two spots in a crowded parking lot are a stain upon the earth.
Stephen has the best origin story... >_> Though the pot should probably have been radioactive, just ya know... to spice it up.
"After smoking radioactive weed through a sunday comic page... Stephen Colbert was granted awesome comedic powers; also a substantial case of the munchies. Now he fights the forces of idiocy and boredom as... Stephen Colbert (the T is silent!)" *stirring theme music*
And the 'a' is invisible....
colBEAR
+Jayson Wills (RandomAcronym) Pretty sure bears are the number 1 threat to America, I doubt Stephen would allow one to hide out in his name like that. >.>
please stop
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Colbert!
Oh, that makes more sense, I thought you meant politically which would have caused some sort of out of bounds error...
or maybe he would loop back around and become Bernie's running mate?
This is why you shouldn't park while having Cruz control on.
I am no defender of Cruz, and I like the joke, but if that was an American car, Ted does not appear to be getting out of the driver´s side.
Yeah he probably had someone else drive for him
Bill Clark now has a new line in his CV...
Night Skiing Nerd!
He's so far right, he even gets out of his car on the right side!
Having done just a little research on night skiing (invented by William "Webb" Moffett in Seattle, Washington sometime around the early 1950's), I'm pretty sure that you can't wrap it up like a little present and destroy it with fire. But, hey, we live in strange days and when there's a will, there's a way.
+TheNightShadow
Well there's a building in Dubai that you can ski in, so technically you could wrap the building in newspaper and burn in down while people are night skiing inside.
+Denis Lipatnikov This image strikes me with pathos.
Nice tribute to an old friend. Hope he stays in touch with Colbert.
"We were in the Oort Cloud of the social structure of our high school."
I was like "wow Steven you know about the Oort cloud? +100 nerd cred."
Stephen should get together with his high school friends just like he did with his teacher.
Lol I pictured the "substance" as night skiing the entire time he was describing it
shout out to the Oort Cloud!
Don't like Cruz, but in all fairness he's getting out of the passenger seat so it's not like he parked it.
+The Voracity Who the fuck did he hire to drive his car is what I'm wondering.
vanyadolly Going by the incompetent job, perhaps the same guy who ran his campaign?
+vanyadolly Think its Secret Service guys that drives.
He was clearly talking about baby fireworks.
You can NOT attach babies to fireworks, you sick sick individual!
Michael Winter Now you're just giving me ideas.
At long last...Stephen's Origin Story.
1:45 Nerd nerd nerd. Nerd is the word. Ma ma ma moo ma mow mow...
+Bruce Baker But... I thought that BIRD is the word....
My life has been a lie.
Everyone'sFavoriteCritic
Oh man. so many ways to go with this... :-)
1. Bird? BIRD? No, man. Bird WAS the Word. Bird is SO C20.
2. Chin up, lil buckaroo. Bird is a fine word. If it's the word for you, then you run with it.
3. This just in...there can be more than one word. Turns out, bird is A word. Just not THE word.
4. Trump 2016...Making Bird the WORD Again! (American birds, of course. Mexican birds will be...stopped...by...the Wall?)
5. Bird WAS the Word. But due to an admin error, the registration wasn't renewed. And nerds...they're all over that shit. Within a minute after the registration lapsed, they git up GoDaddy. And the rest...is history.
6. Nerds form companies. Some succeed. And buy lobbyists. Who then rent politicians. They managed to tack a rider redefining "The Word" onto a Farm Appropriations bill back in the 90's.
7. Orange is the new black. Nerd is the new bird. So blackbirds are now orange nerds.
Okay, I'll stop now.
(Well, I did ETA two. So far.)
+Bruce Baker
XD
great vid
smoking the atomic cronic wrapped in the funnies created Colbert
+TheEvolver311 smoking the atomic cronic created a comic
Well, from the looks of the photo it doesn't look like Ted parked the car.
+Guy Fieri Of course, but it's still his posse.
Yes Stephen, objects from the Oort Cloud are the nursery of comets. Needless to say, you provide a spectacular show when we see you. 🌠
If you look the Zodiac Killer didn't actually park the car. He got out of the car on the passenger side.
But Cruz is on the right side of the car? I mean unless the steering wheel is on the right.
***** I meant he cant be the driver if hes on the right side of the car dip shit. *facepalm*
Ted Cruz approved this parking.
He was in the car and got out.
He's a douchebag.
Ted Cruz went so far to the right he parked more than halfway into the next spot, and then got out the right side of the car. Now that's Extreme Right.
+Jessica Lee but he parked too far to the left :P
I sexually identify as Ted Cruz
+Jordy Shujaa may the lord have mercy on your soul...
we should ban all these filthy tedcruzuals from ever using U.S. bathrooms.
+Renovatio Imperii As a Canadian, I totally second that.
+Jordy Shujaa I wasn't aware "Smug Lizard" was an orientation...
Renovatio Imperii your comment is better than my post haha
Jordy Shujaa It would have been nothing without your preparation.
We should publish a book "The Art of the Comment; 10 Easy Ways to conquer TH-cam without making Videos"
Thank you for validating my entire childhood Stephen
I wonder what it was
im high so i can't figure it out
lol went on a complete tangent, barely had to do with Cruz at all. Still a good story though.
Night skiing in South Carolina lol
I like when Stephen shares personal stories. On the whole, though, this show feels kind of weird. I enjoy watching clips from it, but I'm realizing I never really cared for late night talk shows until I heard Colbert was going to be a talk show host.
I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz isn't the driver though, because cars in the USA tend to have the steering wheel on the left.
+reighfried36952 Think his highness would drive himself to work?
sojutime No.
Colbert married Bill Clark in a Colorado gay wedding?! (Massive geek points for mentioning the Oort Cloud, btw)
LOL at night skeeing
dude, weed! lmao!
lol Stephen Colbert was actually a person in the spider man comics. he was running for president and helped spiderman fight crime
No parking on the dance floor!
Oh my goodness this was amazing! You go Steven!!!
I'm destroying tiny packages of substance right now haha
how serendipitous to stumble across this clip!
I wish he showed a picture of himself from high school haha
Ummm... what was the dude doing in the parking lot when he happened to see Cruz pull in? Could he have been enjoying a little present? lol
Dude, Colbert literally warmed my heart with that story
Colorado says hello Stephen ;)
So you became a comedian... because you lit up the comic section of a newspaper. Best origin story ever.
Awesome!!! I ❤️Colbert even more now!!!
That's what I'm going to call it from now on: "Destroy a little present".
I swear, its like almost all successful people do marijuana, maybe I should start.
no, you'll get depersonalization disorder
yes you should start what are you waiting for go get some right now
yes you should start what are you waiting for go get some right now
The story went from seeming sexual to weed in milliseconds
Don't let your children smoke the funnies.
You are in Marvel universe Stephen
Ted Cruz looks like Randy from Trailer Park Boys!
Wow, I didn't know Colbert did night skiing! Skis might have been hard to roll up though.
Cruz is getting out of the passenger side.
BTW
Steven Colbert indirectly admits to smoking cannabis with highschool friend
Woohoo! Colorado!
You married him?...
Sry
This was weird.
That's a GREAT story. What a small world it is!!
I love Story time with Stephen Colbert
00:40
Ted, please go back to Canada and help their prime minister prepare for the onslaught of people planning on living there for possibly 8 years.
It is good progress seeing a well known church going christian telling people he smoked a plant in public.
Damn why you throw hin under the bus like that
Haha amazing!
Stephen Colbert Orgins
I had friends back in high-school......
lol
Dank
My little gay heart almost exploded for a second there
dude weed lmao
If Lyin' Ted goes any further right, he'll fall of the face of the so-called Flat Earth.
I knew it.
nice.
IF WEED CAN SHARPEN YOU UP TO COLBERT'S LEVEL---MOVE TO COLO..
Pot is definitely legal in Washington too.Just saying.
Yeah. I'm sorry but what part about this is confusing?
I'll go to homecoming with you Stephen.
Billy Connoly used The Bible
The ultimate nerd knows and has played AD&D. How truly nerdy are you Mr. Colbert, I bet I'm nerdier than you! HAHAHA!!!
+William M
Unless you know the Silmarillion better than Tolkien himself, you're not nerdier than Colbert.
I have read The Silmarillion many times. I haven't been in the movie like Colbert, nor read Farmer Gile of Ham, but I was DM, I was know Star Trek and Star Wars (got a job in a theatre to watch it over and over), I have an IQ>143. Lol
+William M At the very least, we know he played the Thieves of Badabaskor module for original D&D, and he had a lv. 11 Paladin that he ruined by having him murder an innocent merchant.
+OtakuD50 I never took him for a lawful good type; but chaotic good. :) He only made a 11th lvl Pal! I had many characters in the upper 20s'! I used to have all the stuff that Gary Gygax could give. Dice and painted pewter pieces aplenty. Terry Brooks; Stephen Donaldson; Stephen King; Fritz Saberhagen; Frank Hurbert; Issac Asimov... I've read them and many more. lol
oh.....the phrase "first time" really through me off. I thought they'd had gay sex. The school dance thing did not help. (until he said that they didn't have dates)
But now I get that it's pot.
He needs to return to the "Colbert" persona and not try to please everyone.
How is he trying to please everyone?
This video segment is pretty..........dope. :D :) :| :/ :( .... I'll show myself out.
It's farther :c
+Miles Law Farther refers to literal distance, whereas further does not. So, since the joke intended us to think he could politically go even more to the right, further works. However, the SUV itself should be farther to the right.
You can't go further to the right than Ted without being an Apartheid era NP politician. Sorry, obscure reference.
Stpehen, I did drugs
crowd cheers
WTH did CBS to Colbert? Who is this guy?
Carlos Salinas... de Gortari??? I won't see any more this show if it's true
+Ildefonso De Leon Well, obviously not. I doubt that Salinas de Gortari went to school in South Carolina together with people more than 15 years younger than him.
+Ildefonso De Leon Hahahaha. The former president of Mexico? That guy is 68. How old do you think Stephen's high school friends were?
+Raul Torres you're damn right.
Too bad old Ted dropped out.
Funny
Drug war is silly
Greatest story ever told, Cruz who..... TRUMP 2016!
Omg does anyone know if this guy is married with kids or not? Because it would be the height of irony if his kids saw this and were like 'but dad did shit in high school and is ok!!"
+Umi's Field Day Side note: *HA*!!!
*high* school
+Umi's Field Day I mean my mom caught me smoking then smoked with me so idk
American high schools sound weird.
They're a trip. To say the least.
Cash Barlow And that separation into castes as seen in media is true?
+Martin Šriber very. At least that's how it was for me growing up in the early 2000's, and without a doubt many generations before me. If you got good looks, you're in the money. If you have bad looks, you're in a locker until your best friend comes and unlocks you out
Cash Barlow That's really weird.
1) Everybody pretty much hangs out with everybody here.
2) Bad looks don't make you pariah, just less likely to get laid.
3) Our lockers aren't big enough for storing people.
+Martin Šriber that sounds like heaven compared to what I went through 😂 I hope I'm not the only one though besides me and Stephen lol