Three years ago, this album and especially these tracks got me through the worst year of my life. I really doubt I would still be here if it wasn't for it.
@Matt Peck yo wtf man eyedea was all about love and never say fuck acid you should go take 5g of mushrooms in silent darkness and then maybe go read a Krishnamurti book. We're all an intricate piece of infinity never say fuck you to another manifestion it might come back around and I'm guessing by your post it already has.
This song is ridiculous, he wrote it when he was 16, and it's one of the most brilliant, eloquently written works of art I've ever bore witness to... it's also really relatable to my current sitch, funny how I'm in the same place as the king known as eyedea, and how his ultimate understanding would lead to his demise
Ryan Nelson Apparently OD'd on the opiates in his sleeping pills. It's still sort of a mystery, his mom said it was a accident and she had just found him in his bed like that. That's the story she's sticking to and she hasn't really said much about it recently because it came as such a shock to her. She said he didn't have a drug problem, but if you listen to his music like "even shadows have shadows" or his album "by the throat" it's hard to tell if he was really as troubled as he seemed or if he made songs like that because he knew people would relate to him. Either way it's a terrible tragedy, such a brilliant artist.
Ryan Nelson I know that feeling. I went on sort of a journey after my uncle passed away last year from liver cancer. Started reading Wilhelm Reich, in the middle of the cancer biopathy right now. The upside is that aetherforce.com and keychests.com are almost everything that I've been searching my whole life for lol. keychests.com/me.php?id=110
Eyedea, I don't' think you realize how many of your fans miss the hell out of your interpretations of what this life is really like for a lot of us. You will be missed forever. R.EYE.P
Eyedea is the mentor I never had. When I discovered him, times were different but I found my self in a pot of kindred souls. We are not alone but will feel that way forever. All I can say is, thank you to everyone in this community for spreading the love and angst we all feel. Eyedea, Michael Larsen: A lost beautiful philosopher which inspired us. I can't think of a stronger genuine person. Aesop Rock is a wonder and purely once in a millennium but he is more satirical with his cleverness.
There's a natural flow, that's attached to your soul/ It don't ask you to go, it just gradually pulls/ Its always now and you're never not you/ So follow yourself 'cause if nothing else, your existence is true -Eyedea (RIP)
This is so relatable to my life. I’m the black sheep in my family, my mother always worries. Depression, anxiety, my father passing away two and half years ago, a lot of existential dread and hopelessness but somehow I’m still here. I’m always in the rabbit holes of conspiracy theories, philosophy and spirituality looking for answers and meaning. Trying DMT really blew me out of the waters and changed my perspective. The mind is so fragile man one can go insane and lose everything or one can let go and become free. Thank you Mikey Larson, seriously..
@@FDENTON-ru8fmhey, sometimes YOU is all you need. Trust me, the world is sick and sad. Figure your mind out first then look for others. Cause believe me, they're all stuck in a maze. Help yourself. I mean that with best intentions.
This song actually helped me a lot, i used to listen to it all the time a few years ago, when i felt super estranged and kept researching Buddhism, Hindu philosophy, hermetic wisdom, esotericism, and metaphysics. I also did a lot of acid and shrooms.. I was so, disconnected. I was so, cynical. (A lot of the knowledge I still keep, of course). Now, 2 years later I feel like the second part of the song, and I haven't touched drugs in over a year. Lots of yoga and relaxation. Happiness.
nope hahanope ohh please don't take it like that. I just meant i was using drugs to escape reality, and not deal with my thoughts. I'd smoke weed until I couldnt speak or do anything but stare at a wall. I just had bad experiences with other drugs like acid and shrooms because I wasn't in a good mindset when i did them, and mixed them with other drugs. Im the one who ruined it for myself. My basic intent was to get fucked up. I should have been more clear, I know psychedelics are a huge tool in spiritual exploration, and has been in almost every culture and drugs are not synonymous with "bad." Just wasn't something I couldn't handle. Sorry.
+Thunder Pants ... dont say sorry . drugs of malgitude are extremly dangerouse to all... i had the chance to rap from these uk shores to the usa ... we used to battle on yahooo, but you can rest asured emcees.. & poets know how to unlock & dive into that river of thought . its all down to drugs & blood... dna from the great experience 1 love...
+Thunder Pants Awesome. I did the same exact thing. I have a question for you since your into similar things and experiences. I attempt to follow the 8 fold path and teachings of Jesus(not his followers who claim him) and many of the other philosophies you mentioned. Yet my intellectualization still takes over then I fall back on the Taoistic mystic transcendent view that good and evil are actually the same and I use it as an excuse to do selfish things. I also became extremely withdrawn from society and friends and even my girlfriend, broke up with her and just hung out by myself and meditated all the time. Then I starting staying in Buddhist monasteries and became obsessed with ordaining. DO you think this obsession is also a need to escape that I once did with drugs but since drugs have been removed it has taken on a different form??? It is always in my mind. I will probably do it as soon as I shed some more selfishness. I have found more of a balance lately and am very happy and have many great friends but I feel a great need to let go completely and, " jump in the river" Or is my idea of letting go actually me not letting go? . ;)
+SickBoy666100 Hmmm that is a difficult question. It kind of is an escape- from our society, norms, and relationships. I also think though, if you needed to work on yourself and those things were "holding you back" from exploring yourself, than it was kinda like shedding your skin. Buddha's teachings are all about letting go of attachments like relationships and material objects so in one way I think it was you manifesting those teachings, but in another light- I think that you can't just ignore how your affects others because even though nothing is "real" you can't deny that your actions have consequences on other people. (I remember the lesson about how a book isn't really a book it's just a pile of molecules that was once a tree, and that in 100 years it'll decay and will never be solid. I think, it makes you a little cynical, can you deny that here in this moment, it's a book?) Basically you need to do what you desire, regardless if it stems off of any philosophy or norm you have been taught. If you want to live life free of people holding you down, or trying to control your actions- do that without guilt. If you want to uphold relationships and be "Attached" I find joy in that too. I think a balance of the two is important. You're the only person you really have so honestly, withdraw when you need to; when you're ready to come back to reality you'll be ready to face "reality." You're not jumping into the river, you are apart of it, and flow you where you desire. Don't try to force yourself to do anything that goes against your flow.
My sister in law and I use to talk about this "dive" all the time and how much it changed us and how terrifying it is until you just stop fighting it, then it becomes so obvious. I showed her this song a while back after I heard she had a similar experience and it blew her away. It's so good to know you're not alone so thank you all for sharing your experiences as well
one of the first times i listened to this album in its entirety i was alone in my garage, coming down off a few tabs of good ol LSD and by the time part 2 was playing i was in tears. crazy how well this album describes how i think. emotions displayed almost perfectly. r. eye. p.
Not Sure it was a good song I don't even know why I said it made me want to kill myself but I guess I was trying to say this song made me realize I'm not as crazy as I thought I was with that being said pink season is out and it is some 🔥
Anxiety, panic attacks, and depression can really make you feel like your losing your mind. I'm only 19, but I feel like if I'm around in 10 years, I'll have probably lost my mind.
Trav in the Box same man I also do a shit ton of robitussin along with a lot of other drugs it makes me go crazy even when I'm sober at work sometimes this song definitely helps but I still have depression and suicidal thoughts on a weekly basis but I'm seeing a doctor for this kinda shit one week from now to be honest tho I didn't think I would live to see myself graduating high school and I made it this far maybe I'll be able to beat this shit
the next 9 years will go by faster than your last two.. smoking weed and seeking truth has always been my best psychiatric remedy for me..entheogens will also help as well as aid you in seeking truth.. Peace
I swear eyedea was/ is some sort of guardian angel. I havent come across an artist that has had as many people say that this person (eyedea) saved their life. Beautiful, beautiful stuff.
I absolutely love the funky breakdowns Abilities puts together at the end of songs like this. It really helps you sit back, relax, and take in all you've just heard. It brings you right back into the moment, and feel the groove of life, after Eyedea takes you on a trip.
Writing this because very few people in my life know how much Eyedea meant to me. The one and only tattoo I have is "I found myself falling into madness so I dove". The songs The dive part 1 & 2 helped me through/partially escape my psychosis, as I was basically stuck in a loop about thinking how crazy I am. The lyrics are in a spiral starting on the outside then going inwards to represent the descent into madness that I felt as I got more trapped in my own mind. This must have been around 4/5 years ago and sometimes I find it so hard to listen to this song now, just reminding me of the dark place I was in. Eyedea thank you so much from stopping me from committing suicide with this song. You truly unveiled what was happening behind the curtain and I will be forever great full.
"We become the writers, the actors, and the audience at the exact same time" This song always finds me again when I'm at an overruminated caused low point, and helps guide me back to reset my thinking to an external observer perspective, like looking from the outside in onto my own thoughts and situation and helps recover my self in a time of losing myself within overthinking overruminating. hope you all find your way to pt2 in time
This album's been with me for half my life I related so much to this particular song. But i didnt realize 10 years later id actually experience my first terrifying episode. Thanks Eyedea! I wish you were still around!
Honestly I really believe Eyedea's music for better or worse did incline me to be more schizo than I naturally already am inclined to be and who knows if you would have had your episode if you weren't so heavily influenced by Eyedea.... These things like "birth of a fish" really resonated with me naturally but who says that is good? Being further disconnected from reality... But this is beautiful art even if it has negative results
this song, together with 'even shadows have shadows', describes exactly what i've been struggling with for so long. i thought i was insane because i didnt know how i felt about anything. I questioned everything. I still don't know exactly how to describe the way i think/used to think. fuck it, maybe i am still insane, who really knows. Im just amazed that there are others out there who are the same as me. the dive part 2 really made me look at my whole 'condition' in a completely different light. pretty much saved me.
***** I went through a similar experience after losing someone where I just felt myself slipping away more and more everyday and eventually I hit rock bottom and found myself again and by rock bottom I mean a failed suicide attempt (thankfully failed) I'm glad I'm still around and I found my sanity again but I'm still deeply scarred from the experience and sometimes just sometimes I still want to die but I know how to beat that feeling now(music and tears). My advice for what it's worth, never love someone more than life itself because it will destroy you if you lose that person. Better yet never love anyone at all, than they can't hurt you. You'll be alright man, we all have our place in life and we can all be happy no matter what we've been through.
Dylan Gagnon Thats a heavy story bro, good to hear you pulled through. Its a fucked experience to hit rock bottom and completely lose your mind. those are the make of break moments. You can choose two paths, one being suicide, and the other is to try and find your mind and your true self. this second option is amazing, because its how you really do find yourself. Dont ever think that you should die, and i know sometimes life seems like it has no meaning and it wouldnt matter if you just end it, but if you try hard enough to build yourself, you'll find eventual happiness.
Thanks man, the second option is the more difficult one but there is so much to live for and I'm not ready to tap out yet. I'll never let a person take away my will to keep going ever again, it's just not worth it. It was an eye opening experience to say the least and I can say I've learned much from it. Keep on keeping on, I certainly will.
TH-cam has always just been a music source for me, I don't really ever get involved in the comments for obvious reasons. Then a friend turned me on to this song. It resonated with me with an understanding I can't find in most music let alone people. So I started going through the comments expecting the same typical mediocre banter spewed by the masses, but instead I found I'm not alone! And not just that! This group of lost people, brought together by a song, actually managed to lull the seemingly endless screams of senseless mediocrity, with words spoken from a pain they all share.. I know how this sounds, but it's how I speak about things worth saying. I just want to express my appreciation for this new perspective on tomorrow.. It doesn't seem like alot to most but a tomorrow is all I live today for.
tacoxx420 deep thinking for 420 eh? I feel the same when I smoke up :P glad this song resonated with you as well, I feel Eyedea is someone everyone should understand.. but I know they won't. They'll just think, "oh he's just a drug addict with a lost grip on reality" but really, he had the most grip, and the deepest understanding for explaing this whole ordeal of life... can't say it enough, he'll forever be missed. I like how you ened your paragraph, "a tomorrow is all I live today for", that's deep, for real. I think that's the sort of thinking most people who listen to Eydea resonate with, Peace.
tacoxx420 -realize ur post was yrs ago,i wanna honor ur honesty& i share similar perspectives on posts-folks-&music.Its tricky how only if/when we bare vulnerabilities= tru connection.The lyrics written here definately move me -powerful-
-its quite beautiful how he connects a river to life, death, and learning the hardships. In Here for you, he says "how we are born into this river without knowing how to swim" which explains that we are BORN into this life having to toil through the difficulties. -In the dive part 1 and 2, he talks about finally diving which i connected to his river analogy. He accepts the struggle and the sanity that will come from diving. Also, he's making the decision to risk going into this life with no guarantee of surviving. - In "bottle dreams" the girl kills herself along with her secrets in the river which shows the death aspect. This also presents the river being a helpless place due to the lack of responses and also suffering. Life, Struggle, and Death. Another connection, in "the dive" he says "fly free" and he says those exact words on "paradise". so relying on others will do you more harm then yourself. All these could be a stretch but i just had these thoughts for the past 6 months. Just my thoughts
I haven't heard this in a long time and was getting sucked into a whirlpool of hellish habits, routine and battling bipolar waves. My mind was caving in and I could feel it, I didn't know where to go. I was all alone with my own inner demon clones. There was no more room to run, I felt nothing could give me the push I needed except a near death experience like I've had before. One listen from this, was all it took to bring me back. Eyedea's lyrics are heaven sent, I don't know how he figured out the exact right words we needed to hear but I can feel like myself again as he reminded me with this wisdom. Thank you again Micheal, your words still help save people like me from metaphysical suicide even after all this time. He has truly learned how to live forever... thank you. Fly free my brother. I hope I can meet you after my time
This song kept my feet on the ground during a very dark time in my life. I still listen to part 2 and just feel, I dont really know how to describe it, but I just feel like myself. It's so peaceful.
Checklist for getting over DP / DR that I've gathered: + #1 thing is to shift your focus onto positive actions and create meaningful direction for your life, which is good to do anyway for a good life. + Don't feed judgements about it, even positive ones about how its fading. Just switch focus to what you're currently doing. + Quit recovery checking. Don't look at forum posts / videos about DP anymore. Simply forget about it over time by repeatedly switching focus. This way it can actually be something positive due to it leading you onto a positive path. + leave deep contemplation / philosophy aside for a while and switch internal focus to external direction, creativity & enjoyments. + exercising often is common to all that recovered fully. Cardio, weightlifting or possibly yoga a few times a week. Probably because it's amazing for the brain: accelerates building new neurons, enhances learning ability, sleep quality, etc. + stay away from substances including caffeine and eat well. + watch funny shit on youtube / comedy shows / tours and laugh often (studies have shown that patients who laughed during a comedy show each day in hospital enhanced recovery ability by +30%) + It's commonly stated that it was all based in anxiety and went away with exercise and consistent external focus.
This song found me at a really fucked time in my life. I had almost nothing, no friends to speak of. I had material possessions but I'd lost all my passion for life. My sense of self and reality were falling apart. I'm better now. I have friends in my life and people that care about me. Some of them were there the whole time and I didn't notice them. I'm not saying hearing this song magically fixed my life, but it brought me out of my solipsism and made me realize that my feelings weren't new or different than things other people had gone through. Thank you, Eyedea, for helping me know myself. RIP
Dude i am dealing with this. I hopped on trains as a hobo with my grateful dead homies, living a dream head all across the country cop some pot in oregon, get spun out on meth in berkeley, satanists killing me in kc mo, crazy shit acid on haight ashbury, ended it all alone, homeless, degraded my self and hurt so bad... now im in a fire academy after a social worker gave me a year free college and im alone i have dreams and think my old friends will murder me, i miss being free
This was the song that started playing right as I was about to shoot myself. Stopped, listened, reflected and now here I am two years later, out of an insanely abusive relationship(physically and mentally) and now with a chick who I’ll probably marry, happy and healthy. One moment can end a life, about ten minutes saved mine.
I went through this exact Psychosis stage a few years ago, I was never been able to adequately describe my thoughts and feelings about it until now. It's a shame that I only heard about this insightful man little more than twelve hours ago.
i think the song is actually about enlightenment and the processes that come along with it. there is something called the dark night of the soul before one attains it. it makes refrences to eastern and western philosophy, and inbetween the two songs he says the union youve achieved is only possible with thought existing no more.
firstzeroslayer I think see both interpretations. I used to think of this as being psychosis, but I feel like it talks about enlightenment as well. Regardless, it's so beautiful. :')
Whatever you wanna call it, losing your mind, ego death, drug induced psychosis, just psychosis. It's a human expierence for sure. I'm just glad there are others who feel the same way.
played this whole album on repeat in high school for two years. four years later these two song has been the soul reason for who I am now. I fucking love you, eyedea... thank you!
Man two years of being told I was crazy, twice being forced to go to the hospital, and $20,000 in bills later...I come across this and realize THEY ARE THE INSANE ONES...Life's a trip gonzo ;)
The transition from part 1 to part 2 is flawless. So many brilliant quotes in part 2 set up by the dialog in part 1. Doubt we'll ever see talent like this again.
Glad to see I wasn't the only one affected by these songs... I think I was only 16 when I discovered this. Till this day(I'm 23) these songs still have an effect on me.
@@BillyBHigh This is the kind of comment you read while far out there and know it's a message from the other side. I lol'd a little seeing that it felt like that to you too seven years on.
One of the most relatable songs of my life 9 years ago now This helped me get through a dark time when I was 19 in college i felt like I was losing my sanity, i became consumed with philosophy and psychedelics and secluded myself completely,I felt so alone...until ill I heard this
I remember putting this CD in when I was like 16 (23 now) layin down on my bed just chillin..this track came on and blew my mind. He was describing everything I felt..
This is an amazing duo of songs. A couple lines really hit me deeply, and it makes me happy to know that there are artists like this that are getting the message out to people who need to hear it.
Seriously man. I didn’t know he wrote this at 16. My journey started at 23 and I couldn’t fully enjoy this song until my latest step at 33 this past December. Now this song is just freakin perfection except some minor things I think he didn’t know like…now that you’ve found yourself you realize you gotta keep doing it all!!! The journey is ongoing and we go in and out of madness and can enjoy the journey now. I’m in a madness zone right now xD. Or am I? O.o
this is one of the few songs that can make me tear up, and they're basically all Eyedea. I think it's clearly in reference to a schizotypal experience where he is extremely self aware which is rare making it all that more precious to those who can so closely identify with it. it's just added on for me that the basic messages are so resonate with the persecutory delusions I've experienced. not a word of this song that doesn't strike a chord with me and that's just an understatement. eyedea had an insane level of awareness which was more than likely a major factor in his premature death. I was so depressed when I realized as soon as I discovered him, I'd already seen his final creations. I mean I was an honor student at one of the best public colleges in the Midwest and I think I needed eyedea and songs like this from keeping me from breaking. idc what anyone says when it comes to hip hop eyedea is the goat and we were all robbed by his premature departure
I agree with you completely. I remember a time when I was just trying to "fit in", and doing a damn good job of it. I would make a fool of myself at school to provoke laughter among my peers. I would act as if I was an idiot, and pretend to not know the answer to questions in class. Why? I think the answer is very simple. Reality is enforced by group dynamics. A group as a whole may have a vastly different perception than a single person who has been alone their entire life. When the group convinces the person to think like they do, the person becomes a part of the group. There is no longer a separation of paradigms. This is what is taking place in our society today. Kids are being raised in a society where it is "uncool" to use logic and reason to analyze established structures of society. What I just said would most likely go over the head of most high school students today, albeit a very straightforward statement. I don't know what makes people like me, you, and others here commenting, so different. Maybe its a psychological adaptation to environment? Maybe we are just smarter than the sheep? But how could that be - I almost fell into the herd myself. Self awareness and introspection saved me. Psychedelics helped with the processes. I know I have something, deep down, wrong with me. Be it personality disorder, schizotypal, mood disorder, who knows. Hell, I could have a bit of it all, but I do know one thing for certain. I wouldn't change it for anything. Yeah I probably could do without the occasional melancholic undertones to life. However, for better or for worse, it has made me an existentialist. I oppose group-think and try to think about everything objectively. I can't even really tell you why, much less why I'm typing all this to an 8 month old comment. It's just that I identified with what you said, and that i wanted to make sure someone like me knew they weren't alone. People like us are out there - don't find them - probably a depressing combination! (We both know we will probably seek them out anyway, after all, great minds think alike) Anywho I will wrap this up with one word : bye
@@Swurveitup i did the same. i thought i was fitting in by pretending to be a stupid stoner. lasted through my freshman year of college where i started to find the passion for academics, and eyedea's music really fueled me through that. unfortunately i think i set myself back very badly with high school and pretending to be a stupid stoner, but i'm back in school now and i hope finally back on track to do what i should be doing. the biggest turning point for me was actually taking mushrooms, i started to hate what i was and feel terrible about what i clearly saw i was doing. my next year at school my gpa went from 2.8 to 3.9, i was an honor student from then on. just went back to school after 3 years off, taking physics and anat/phys (which are really fuckin hard). was disappointing to get an AB (equal to 3.5 GPA) in both, I'll do better in the 2nd part. just need to get into the program
I want to warn everyone to be very careful with listening to and absorbing Eyedea's music. It is some of most powerful stuff I have experienced. I deeply believe in and love this music!! If you are not feeling rooted in yourself please please be careful! This is coming from someone who has experienced the full affect of this. Nothing but love!!
Can you please explain more? There is absolutely a deep benefite from listening to this! I am just saying not to take it lightly at all. It can be negative to. Things aren't all good/bad black and white.
if i were you i wont be thinking about what he is saying or try to think the way he did because you ll lead your mind into thinking of the way most people who have depersonalisation do and then you may develop it and you ll be stuck with it and what depersonalisation is basically you became more aware of your self which make you feel like you are in a dream state and you wont recognise your self you ll feel like a stranger to your body your take care
Havent stopped listenint to this whole album for about a month now... only knew big shots when I was a kid from Tony hawk and decided to give the whole album a listen... couldn't have happened at a more divine time. Blessings
These are the only songs that ever changed my life. The first time I REALLY listened pt 1 broke me into pieces cause being that kind of crazy wasn't something i imagined anyone else relating to. Pt 1 made me hopeless and I actually cried, because even tho i'd been working so hard to come back from that i wasn't there yet and was constantly afraid of slipping back. But then pt 2 came on and put things in a way I never had considered. It didn't fix everything, but it gave me comfort and a level of security in the knowledge I did know myself. Maybe I forget sometimes and lead myself astray but eventually I come back. Thank you Eyedea from the bottom of my heart. I wish i could have known you when you were alive, but at least I have something of you to treasure now.
Oh WHOA. I haven't heard this song in roughly a year. I used to listen to this & One of Four by Aesop Rock...A LOT, because the songs were the only 'friends' that understood. But I didn't listen to Part 2 more than a couple times because I "didn't like it." Nah. It's cuz I didn't yet understand it. & this just Autoplayed after I was listening to Shrunk by Aes. I was SO excited. & when I heard the line "the strain to stay sane's your only demon," it hit me that I'd thought I understood before, but I didn't. I was still in resistance. & anyway, babbling on lol I just wanted to say what a breath of fresh air it was when Part 2 came on & it felt like uplifting whispers from a dear friend who is Somewhere Else...& the realization seeping in that I LOVE part 2, because it finally resonates. & that is proof that even when everything feels stagnant, things are still changing...you are still growing. & that the universe & energy work out for you...the song came back to me when I was ready to receive it. Hope everyone is doing alright. Keep on keepin on, friends.💞💫
I have just discovered this amazing beautiful souls music recently and it was at the exact moment in my life that I needed to. It is been the worst two years of my entire life I literally lost the connection of my entire family and I’m all alone in the world a lot of days I’m clinging on by a strand a thin, tiny little strand of faith.Crazy that nothing is really actually physically changed except for my perception and it’s the first time I felt a little bit of hope in two years thank you
I wasn't in line with my life's message when I felt like that and you can't know it until you find someone else who describes it better so while you're sifting through this music, I highly suggest you get in tune with other people who explain why the world is the way it is and there's no better than Peter Joseph and Jacque Fresco. Become a part of the new human Rights movement.
When im stressed the fuck out i listen to other artists to calm myself... but nothing is like euedea and the way i feel he really cares for human kind with his whole heart. No matter what i will always try and live my life in the good depths of existence.
Michael Larson suffered from one or more of the various forms of dissociative disorders. Perhaps schizo-affective disorder. Perhaps schizophrenia. Maybe borderline personality disorder. Maybe Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder).. could've been why he had multiple aliases. Whatever it may have been, it caused him to abuse substances from the stress caused by the constant symptoms. What is astonishing about all this, is that out of this chaos came amazing music. That's usually the case with most great musicians. If they're not mentally ill, then they are using some sort of psychedelic to mimic psychosis(LSD, shrooms, mescaline, etc). This song is about many things, but the main message is that you are forced to dive, before you can technically resurface. You can't surface without diving. This was symbolic for having to become insane in order to find sanity. This is especially emphasized in the verses at 5:30 - 5:43 R. EYE. P. Michael David Larson(Eyedea/Oliver Heart).
Honestly I really believe Eyedea's music for better or worse did incline me to be more schizo than I naturally already am inclined to be and who knows if I wasn't so heavily influenced by Eyedea.... These things like "birth of a fish" really resonated with me naturally but who says that is good? Being further disconnected from reality... But this is beautiful art even if it has negative results
We should ask yourself, what is reality? How do we define it? Is it this manmade box of rules and expectations of routine? Is it a game people partake in stonewalling your questions as they claim that's life? Once you disconnect yourself from this reality bubble, your body will begin to deprogram itself from the game. I once had a psychosis like the one described here and people around me looked foreign as I felt like an outsider, but this frame I've found must be what reality is. This deeper meaning and "spiritual awakening" feels like home, so what is this nihilistic progressive one we live in? When cultures (even monolithic mentalities) die and life goes on, breathtaking vegetations and many lifeforms takes over as if it's just, leaving a beautiful blank slate of potential yet to be found. People are afraid of the unknown and call it crazy, but we are this planet's craftsman and creators of many things. We even created this game we arrogantly call life, so that rule must apply to our own reality frame. That's when you can realize, I am a creator of my own reality and I can mold it the way I see fit. I'll dance, sing and sit down with the flowers to soak in this beautiful scenery. Society and your fellow humans may criticize you, call you crazy, torment you and cast you out... but what other lifeform does this besides humans? What other lifeform attempts to drag you down as you attempt to live your life? Make you sick to pacify and demoralize you as a human cattle, as they drink wine made of tears. I wonder if we can truly call that "normal".
@@neurockones Freaking love these songs... Especially part two the words "the best thing you ever did was let go.... let go.... let... go...... let go.... So here you are... and here you've always been..." But I just keep repeating "the best thing you ever DID was let go...." in different ways
I haven't listened to this for years. I know, that's unacceptable. But it literally just popped into my head out of nowhere as I was meditating for a solid DMT journey, so I went with it. Talk about fucking deep, was basically just a teary eyed mess by the end.
I have never seen, read, or heard a description to describe my condition so perfectly. Now everyone I meet has there theories when they meet me about what's wrong, they think I just don't get it. But my minds too preoccupied to care, wish I could just show them this song.
Michael Larson suffered from one or more of the various forms of dissociative disorders. Perhaps schizo-affective disorder. Perhaps schizophrenia. Maybe borderline personality disorder. Maybe Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder).. could've been why he had multiple aliases. Whatever it may have been, it caused him to abuse substances from the stress caused by the constant symptoms. What is astonishing about all this, is that out of this chaos came amazing music. That's usually the case with most great musicians. If they're not mentally ill, then they are using some sort of psychedelic to mimic psychosis(LSD, shrooms, mescaline, etc). This song is about many things, but the main message is that you are forced to dive, before you can technically resurface. You can't surface without diving. This was symbolic for having to become insane in order to find sanity. This is especially emphasized in the verses at 5:30 - 5:43 R. EYE. P. Michael David Larson(Eyedea/Oliver Heart).
JasonDotCalm as someone with a bachelor's in psych, think it's very clear that he was on the schizoid spectrum although I could definitely just be biased given that's where I'd consider myself and with me relating so much to his music
When i get depressed, I get strung out. When I feel myself slipping away. Remembering the reason I got into drugs. How disgusting this world is. I just think someone might need me someday. I put on this. It reminds me I'm not alone.
4 years after I first heard this, I gotta say it's taken me so long to truly appreciate it, recently I've been derealizing so much due to my forced sobriety from cannabis and cutting off social media, I've been questioning reality and my own existence and this song series makes me feel far more centered. A lot of the friends I spoke to before I quit both social media and weed started to become more absent, not really their fault but because of the fact I can't contact them as often, and them being far more busy with other relationships that I couldn't get any attention from them. People I'm acquainted with but not close with would always just come up to me, ask me stuff, then go along their day. And with my own recent spiritual journey happening all at the same time, and just overall issues with this program that I was put onto that forced me to quit smoking weed or else I get put on probation, and family struggles, the idea of fading away from this plane of existence was both scary and comforting at the same time. All throughout this, however, I've managed to stay grounded in reality and accepted my existence through this song. R EYE P Mikey we miss you 💜💜💜💜
I don't have anyone I am scared at 40 your right this helps you feel more aware and takes you through some process of life's thoughts I find at just relaxes u half way through chat if you want I am getting back into social media have a great time !
Thank You Mikey for every Eyedea birthed & treating me as a friend the one time we met. The recorded depth of your awareness goes beyond the comprehension of 99.9999999% of the planet for eons & beyond. I shall do my best to pass along your blessings thru the sands of time. 👽
I'm in middle school and I love music like napalm death and terrorizer but this is one of the greatest albums of all time but the thing is no one in my school even knows eyedea. This album got me out of a bad place in my life. Eyedea truly is the Jim Morrison of rap.
Glad to see that I'm not the only one battling my own mind. About the same time Micheal passed away I started going through some shit, family deaths, friends death, etc...I was questioning everything and some nights I felt like I was going to go crazy. Then I found this song and I was even more scared (part 1) but then part 2 started playing and just like that....I felt such relief. It truly did help me and saved me.
"I found myself fallin to madness so i dove, the best thing i ever did was let go" this saved me in the dark days and then got scratched into my skin so i never forget. REYEP
This hit me so hard. After an overdose, I've finally passed from part 1 to part 2, which I didn't know could happen. I saw death as my only escape, but these songs resonate so well with my recent realizations. RIP Eyedea
I first heard this album when I was 11 so I didn't catch alot of the songs at the time, I then found the many faces of Oliver Hart in my auntie's cd case at (12) asked her what it was, then fell in love with that album I played the shit out of it for a year started expanding my taste in underground hip hop, I also started to really become interested in Quantum mechanics/physics, psychology, and philosophy at the time (mainly because it was when Bioshock Infinite came out). I started getting into Eyedea more I listened to mainly the "hits" like Big Shots then just about half a year ago (now I'm 15) I revisited this album and IM SO GLAD I DID I swear I connected to Mikey in a way I haven't with any other artist or person. When I first listened to this album again I just bursted out into tears while listening to this track, and color my world. Second time I listened while on edibles it was pretty mind blowing and Third It was on triple c's It was just a crazy trip. What I'm basically saying is or what I was trying to is that I swear when I heard the beginning of part 1 it literally BLEW MY FUCKING MIND! It was like he was actually talking to me, he described everything I do and think. And I swear everytime I listened to his albums I always related so much it was surreal. Mikey has pretty much been my mentor without me even knowing. Thank you R. EYE. P
It's kind of magical how many people are able to connect with this. We all feel so disconnected, so alone. But it's only because of our own consciousness that we feel disconnected, our biology would never allow us to be as alone as we feel.. if only our language really could accurately convey how we feel.
"So here you are, and now you understand.. you always were here, that's why you always ran! I'd like to welcome you.. to the heaven you created. I tell the truth. This is the wisdom of the ancients!" -Eyedea
Yeah man you were super baked. You're so fucking cool. No one cares, your comment doesn't mean anything to anyone. All it says is I'm a loser and heard this song when I was high.
this let alot of people know they weren't alone
Three years ago, this album and especially these tracks got me through the worst year of my life. I really doubt I would still be here if it wasn't for it.
@Matt Peck yo wtf man eyedea was all about love and never say fuck acid you should go take 5g of mushrooms in silent darkness and then maybe go read a Krishnamurti book. We're all an intricate piece of infinity never say fuck you to another manifestion it might come back around and I'm guessing by your post it already has.
@@thirtythreeeyes8624 he's seeking attention....
What the fuck even happened here
Very true.
This song is ridiculous, he wrote it when he was 16, and it's one of the most brilliant, eloquently written works of art I've ever bore witness to... it's also really relatable to my current sitch, funny how I'm in the same place as the king known as eyedea, and how his ultimate understanding would lead to his demise
He was only 16 !????????? He just doesn't stop amazing me. Even after 4 years of being gone.
what happened to him?
Ryan Nelson Apparently OD'd on the opiates in his sleeping pills. It's still sort of a mystery, his mom said it was a accident and she had just found him in his bed like that. That's the story she's sticking to and she hasn't really said much about it recently because it came as such a shock to her. She said he didn't have a drug problem, but if you listen to his music like "even shadows have shadows" or his album "by the throat" it's hard to tell if he was really as troubled as he seemed or if he made songs like that because he knew people would relate to him. Either way it's a terrible tragedy, such a brilliant artist.
Jamieson Fletcher
yea, so many open minds OD. Its like they cant cope with being open minded.
Ryan Nelson I know that feeling. I went on sort of a journey after my uncle passed away last year from liver cancer. Started reading Wilhelm Reich, in the middle of the cancer biopathy right now. The upside is that aetherforce.com and keychests.com are almost everything that I've been searching my whole life for lol.
keychests.com/me.php?id=110
Eyedea, I don't' think you realize how many of your fans miss the hell out of your interpretations of what this life is really like for a lot of us. You will be missed forever. R.EYE.P
Eyedea is the mentor I never had. When I discovered him, times were different but I found my self in a pot of kindred souls. We are not alone but will feel that way forever. All I can say is, thank you to everyone in this community for spreading the love and angst we all feel.
Eyedea, Michael Larsen:
A lost beautiful philosopher which inspired us.
I can't think of a stronger genuine person.
Aesop Rock is a wonder and purely once in a millennium but he is more satirical with his cleverness.
There's a natural flow, that's attached to your soul/
It don't ask you to go, it just gradually pulls/
Its always now and you're never not you/
So follow yourself 'cause if nothing else, your existence is true
-Eyedea (RIP)
Wish I was friends with all these people who say they connected to this song just as much as I did
+InkCorporated we're all eyedea friends man, one family
+InkCorporated love ya
Haha same here... With hip hop in general... Got no real hip hop head friends
+InkCorporated we are all connected through the highest sensation..
+Madman's Knowledge Let's be friends man!
Rest up Eyedea. Thank you for all you've taught me.
He was so gifted. Infinite respect.
This is so relatable to my life. I’m the black sheep in my family, my mother always worries. Depression, anxiety, my father passing away two and half years ago, a lot of existential dread and hopelessness but somehow I’m still here. I’m always in the rabbit holes of conspiracy theories, philosophy and spirituality looking for answers and meaning. Trying DMT really blew me out of the waters and changed my perspective. The mind is so fragile man one can go insane and lose everything or one can let go and become free. Thank you Mikey Larson, seriously..
“No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.”
Yes please I don't know anyone and I am 40 help lol
@@FDENTON-ru8fm go make rollerblading
Exactly what I say
@@FDENTON-ru8fmhey, sometimes YOU is all you need. Trust me, the world is sick and sad. Figure your mind out first then look for others. Cause believe me, they're all stuck in a maze. Help yourself. I mean that with best intentions.
This song actually helped me a lot, i used to listen to it all the time a few years ago, when i felt super estranged and kept researching Buddhism, Hindu philosophy, hermetic wisdom, esotericism, and metaphysics. I also did a lot of acid and shrooms.. I was so, disconnected. I was so, cynical. (A lot of the knowledge I still keep, of course).
Now, 2 years later I feel like the second part of the song, and I haven't touched drugs in over a year. Lots of yoga and relaxation. Happiness.
nope hahanope ohh please don't take it like that. I just meant i was using drugs to escape reality, and not deal with my thoughts. I'd smoke weed until I couldnt speak or do anything but stare at a wall. I just had bad experiences with other drugs like acid and shrooms because I wasn't in a good mindset when i did them, and mixed them with other drugs. Im the one who ruined it for myself. My basic intent was to get fucked up. I should have been more clear, I know psychedelics are a huge tool in spiritual exploration, and has been in almost every culture and drugs are not synonymous with "bad." Just wasn't something I couldn't handle. Sorry.
No problem, I misunderstood in that case.
+Thunder Pants ... dont say sorry . drugs of malgitude are extremly dangerouse to all... i had the chance to rap from these uk shores to the usa ... we used to battle on yahooo, but you can rest asured emcees.. & poets know how to unlock & dive into that river of thought . its all down to drugs & blood... dna from the great experience
1 love...
+Thunder Pants Awesome. I did the same exact thing. I have a question for you since your into similar things and experiences. I attempt to follow the 8 fold path and teachings of Jesus(not his followers who claim him) and many of the other philosophies you mentioned. Yet my intellectualization still takes over then I fall back on the Taoistic mystic transcendent view that good and evil are actually the same and I use it as an excuse to do selfish things. I also became extremely withdrawn from society and friends and even my girlfriend, broke up with her and just hung out by myself and meditated all the time. Then I starting staying in Buddhist monasteries and became obsessed with ordaining. DO you think this obsession is also a need to escape that I once did with drugs but since drugs have been removed it has taken on a different form??? It is always in my mind. I will probably do it as soon as I shed some more selfishness. I have found more of a balance lately and am very happy and have many great friends but I feel a great need to let go completely and, " jump in the river" Or is my idea of letting go actually me not letting go? . ;)
+SickBoy666100 Hmmm that is a difficult question. It kind of is an escape- from our society, norms, and relationships. I also think though, if you needed to work on yourself and those things were "holding you back" from exploring yourself, than it was kinda like shedding your skin. Buddha's teachings are all about letting go of attachments like relationships and material objects so in one way I think it was you manifesting those teachings, but in another light- I think that you can't just ignore how your affects others because even though nothing is "real" you can't deny that your actions have consequences on other people. (I remember the lesson about how a book isn't really a book it's just a pile of molecules that was once a tree, and that in 100 years it'll decay and will never be solid. I think, it makes you a little cynical, can you deny that here in this moment, it's a book?)
Basically you need to do what you desire, regardless if it stems off of any philosophy or norm you have been taught. If you want to live life free of people holding you down, or trying to control your actions- do that without guilt. If you want to uphold relationships and be "Attached" I find joy in that too. I think a balance of the two is important. You're the only person you really have so honestly, withdraw when you need to; when you're ready to come back to reality you'll be ready to face "reality."
You're not jumping into the river, you are apart of it, and flow you where you desire. Don't try to force yourself to do anything that goes against your flow.
These songs summed up my life and depressive episodes more than I could ever imagine attempting to describe. We love you, Eyedea.
Discovered this back when I was like 17 and it described exactly what was happening to me at the time
I miss you Eyedea. Thanks for what you do for me
My sister in law and I use to talk about this "dive" all the time and how much it changed us and how terrifying it is until you just stop fighting it, then it becomes so obvious. I showed her this song a while back after I heard she had a similar experience and it blew her away. It's so good to know you're not alone so thank you all for sharing your experiences as well
one of the first times i listened to this album in its entirety i was alone in my garage, coming down off a few tabs of good ol LSD and by the time part 2 was playing i was in tears. crazy how well this album describes how i think. emotions displayed almost perfectly. r. eye. p.
right on man... more people think like you than you think
This song saved my life once.
Braeden C the song kill urself by pink guy convinced me to kill myself but this song saved mè
Not Sure it was a good song I don't even know why I said it made me want to kill myself but I guess I was trying to say this song made me realize I'm not as crazy as I thought I was with that being said pink season is out and it is some 🔥
Same boi..
Same here. A lot of times. And its still saving me up to now. Rest in peace Mr. Larsen. Thank you for everything
Same man..
Anxiety, panic attacks, and depression can really make you feel like your losing your mind. I'm only 19, but I feel like if I'm around in 10 years, I'll have probably lost my mind.
With that attitude. ;) Peep that part 2 brother
Trav in the Box same man I also do a shit ton of robitussin along with a lot of other drugs it makes me go crazy even when I'm sober at work sometimes this song definitely helps but I still have depression and suicidal thoughts on a weekly basis but I'm seeing a doctor for this kinda shit one week from now to be honest tho I didn't think I would live to see myself graduating high school and I made it this far maybe I'll be able to beat this shit
Nah you'll be good fam🤙
the next 9 years will go by faster than your last two.. smoking weed and seeking truth has always been my best psychiatric remedy for me..entheogens will also help as well as aid you in seeking truth.. Peace
Hey man I hope you’re doing alright
These tracks can answer a lot of questions during tough times.
I swear eyedea was/ is some sort of guardian angel. I havent come across an artist that has had as many people say that this person (eyedea) saved their life. Beautiful, beautiful stuff.
listen to the song "is happiness just a word" Vinnie paz
hahahah so true eyedeas songs and vinne paz have hit me harder than any man should be able to....
I absolutely love the funky breakdowns Abilities puts together at the end of songs like this. It really helps you sit back, relax, and take in all you've just heard. It brings you right back into the moment, and feel the groove of life, after Eyedea takes you on a trip.
Hell yeah well said. Part of what makes this album immaculate. He does Eyedea justice which is near impossible.
Writing this because very few people in my life know how much Eyedea meant to me.
The one and only tattoo I have is "I found myself falling into madness so I dove".
The songs The dive part 1 & 2 helped me through/partially escape my psychosis, as I was basically stuck in a loop about thinking how crazy I am.
The lyrics are in a spiral starting on the outside then going inwards to represent the descent into madness that I felt as I got more trapped in my own mind.
This must have been around 4/5 years ago and sometimes I find it so hard to listen to this song now, just reminding me of the dark place I was in.
Eyedea thank you so much from stopping me from committing suicide with this song. You truly unveiled what was happening behind the curtain and I will be forever great full.
"We become the writers, the actors, and the audience at the exact same time"
This song always finds me again when I'm at an overruminated caused low point, and helps guide me back to reset my thinking to an external observer perspective, like looking from the outside in onto my own thoughts and situation and helps recover my self in a time of losing myself within overthinking overruminating. hope you all find your way to pt2 in time
This album's been with me for half my life I related so much to this particular song. But i didnt realize 10 years later id actually experience my first terrifying episode. Thanks Eyedea! I wish you were still around!
same here brother
Honestly I really believe Eyedea's music for better or worse did incline me to be more schizo than I naturally already am inclined to be and who knows if you would have had your episode if you weren't so heavily influenced by Eyedea.... These things like "birth of a fish" really resonated with me naturally but who says that is good? Being further disconnected from reality... But this is beautiful art even if it has negative results
this song, together with 'even shadows have shadows', describes exactly what i've been struggling with for so long. i thought i was insane because i didnt know how i felt about anything. I questioned everything. I still don't know exactly how to describe the way i think/used to think. fuck it, maybe i am still insane, who really knows. Im just amazed that there are others out there who are the same as me. the dive part 2 really made me look at my whole 'condition' in a completely different light. pretty much saved me.
***** I went through a similar experience after losing someone where I just felt myself slipping away more and more everyday and eventually I hit rock bottom and found myself again and by rock bottom I mean a failed suicide attempt (thankfully failed) I'm glad I'm still around and I found my sanity again but I'm still deeply scarred from the experience and sometimes just sometimes I still want to die but I know how to beat that feeling now(music and tears). My advice for what it's worth, never love someone more than life itself because it will destroy you if you lose that person. Better yet never love anyone at all, than they can't hurt you. You'll be alright man, we all have our place in life and we can all be happy no matter what we've been through.
Dylan Gagnon Thats a heavy story bro, good to hear you pulled through. Its a fucked experience to hit rock bottom and completely lose your mind. those are the make of break moments. You can choose two paths, one being suicide, and the other is to try and find your mind and your true self. this second option is amazing, because its how you really do find yourself. Dont ever think that you should die, and i know sometimes life seems like it has no meaning and it wouldnt matter if you just end it, but if you try hard enough to build yourself, you'll find eventual happiness.
Thanks man, the second option is the more difficult one but there is so much to live for and I'm not ready to tap out yet. I'll never let a person take away my will to keep going ever again, it's just not worth it. It was an eye opening experience to say the least and I can say I've learned much from it. Keep on keeping on, I certainly will.
I hope all is well with you
To this day it’s still relatable! It totally helped me get through some tough times recently. One of my all time favorites!!
when you listened to this song for 7 years and finally got the message
thats the beauty if music man
beauty of art
Definitely way ahead of their time
TH-cam has always just been a music source for me, I don't really ever get involved in the comments for obvious reasons. Then a friend turned me on to this song. It resonated with me with an understanding I can't find in most music let alone people. So I started going through the comments expecting the same typical mediocre banter spewed by the masses, but instead I found I'm not alone! And not just that! This group of lost people, brought together by a song, actually managed to lull the seemingly endless screams of senseless mediocrity, with words spoken from a pain they all share.. I know how this sounds, but it's how I speak about things worth saying. I just want to express my appreciation for this new perspective on tomorrow.. It doesn't seem like alot to most but a tomorrow is all I live today for.
tacoxx420 deep thinking for 420 eh? I feel the same when I smoke up :P glad this song resonated with you as well, I feel Eyedea is someone everyone should understand.. but I know they won't. They'll just think, "oh he's just a drug addict with a lost grip on reality" but really, he had the most grip, and the deepest understanding for explaing this whole ordeal of life... can't say it enough, he'll forever be missed. I like how you ened your paragraph, "a tomorrow is all I live today for", that's deep, for real. I think that's the sort of thinking most people who listen to Eydea resonate with, Peace.
Search "1love1light" dude has music like this
tacoxx420 -realize ur post was yrs ago,i wanna honor ur honesty& i share similar perspectives on posts-folks-&music.Its tricky how only if/when we bare vulnerabilities= tru connection.The lyrics written here definately move me -powerful-
@@chambz119 Thank you!
If you haven't yet listened to Aesop Rock, definitely check out his stuff. One of Four is a favorite of mine but everything of his is great.
Nobody will ever convince me that this isn't the best song of all time. It's not close.
Saved my life when I was going through highschool and even after..still my favourite song of all time, and artist. R.EYE.P Mikey
-its quite beautiful how he connects a river to life, death, and learning the hardships.
In Here for you, he says "how we are born into this river without knowing how to swim" which explains that we are BORN into this life having to toil through the difficulties.
-In the dive part 1 and 2, he talks about finally diving which i connected to his river analogy. He accepts the struggle and the sanity that will come from diving. Also, he's making the decision to risk going into this life with no guarantee of surviving.
- In "bottle dreams" the girl kills herself along with her secrets in the river which shows the death aspect. This also presents the river being a helpless place due to the lack of responses and also suffering. Life, Struggle, and Death.
Another connection, in "the dive" he says "fly free" and he says those exact words on "paradise". so relying on others will do you more harm then yourself.
All these could be a stretch but i just had these thoughts for the past 6 months. Just my thoughts
+ED SO Damnnnnnn dude!! Fuck. Good shit.
I haven't heard this in a long time and was getting sucked into a whirlpool of hellish habits, routine and battling bipolar waves. My mind was caving in and I could feel it, I didn't know where to go. I was all alone with my own inner demon clones. There was no more room to run, I felt nothing could give me the push I needed except a near death experience like I've had before. One listen from this, was all it took to bring me back.
Eyedea's lyrics are heaven sent, I don't know how he figured out the exact right words we needed to hear but I can feel like myself again as he reminded me with this wisdom. Thank you again Micheal, your words still help save people like me from metaphysical suicide even after all this time. He has truly learned how to live forever... thank you. Fly free my brother. I hope I can meet you after my time
This song kept my feet on the ground during a very dark time in my life. I still listen to part 2 and just feel, I dont really know how to describe it, but I just feel like myself. It's so peaceful.
Checklist for getting over DP / DR that I've gathered:
+ #1 thing is to shift your focus onto positive actions and create meaningful direction for your life, which is good to do anyway for a good life.
+ Don't feed judgements about it, even positive ones about how its fading. Just switch focus to what you're currently doing.
+ Quit recovery checking. Don't look at forum posts / videos about DP anymore. Simply forget about it over time by repeatedly switching focus. This way it can actually be something positive due to it leading you onto a positive path.
+ leave deep contemplation / philosophy aside for a while and switch internal focus to external direction, creativity & enjoyments.
+ exercising often is common to all that recovered fully. Cardio, weightlifting or possibly yoga a few times a week. Probably because it's amazing for the brain: accelerates building new neurons, enhances learning ability, sleep quality, etc.
+ stay away from substances including caffeine and eat well.
+ watch funny shit on youtube / comedy shows / tours and laugh often (studies have shown that patients who laughed during a comedy show each day in hospital enhanced recovery ability by +30%)
+ It's commonly stated that it was all based in anxiety and went away with exercise and consistent external focus.
♥
YES! Consistent external focus is key!! Obviously exercise is important, too.
Over 8 years since i hear this n still hits differently. Also, seeing all the comments still on this warms my heart x1,000,000,000... much love y'all
This song found me at a really fucked time in my life. I had almost nothing, no friends to speak of. I had material possessions but I'd lost all my passion for life. My sense of self and reality were falling apart. I'm better now. I have friends in my life and people that care about me. Some of them were there the whole time and I didn't notice them.
I'm not saying hearing this song magically fixed my life, but it brought me out of my solipsism and made me realize that my feelings weren't new or different than things other people had gone through. Thank you, Eyedea, for helping me know myself.
RIP
Dude i am dealing with this. I hopped on trains as a hobo with my grateful dead homies, living a dream head all across the country cop some pot in oregon, get spun out on meth in berkeley, satanists killing me in kc mo, crazy shit acid on haight ashbury, ended it all alone, homeless, degraded my self and hurt so bad... now im in a fire academy after a social worker gave me a year free college and im alone i have dreams and think my old friends will murder me, i miss being free
This was the song that started playing right as I was about to shoot myself. Stopped, listened, reflected and now here I am two years later, out of an insanely abusive relationship(physically and mentally) and now with a chick who I’ll probably marry, happy and healthy. One moment can end a life, about ten minutes saved mine.
The world has no eyedea..
Factz
I went through this exact Psychosis stage a few years ago, I was never been able to adequately describe my thoughts and feelings about it until now. It's a shame that I only heard about this insightful man little more than twelve hours ago.
i think the song is actually about enlightenment and the processes that come along with it. there is something called the dark night of the soul before one attains it. it makes refrences to eastern and western philosophy, and inbetween the two songs he says the union youve achieved is only possible with thought existing no more.
though the truth of the song is also personal to you. im not saying your interpretation is wrong truth exists on many levels.
firstzeroslayer I think see both interpretations. I used to think of this as being psychosis, but I feel like it talks about enlightenment as well. Regardless, it's so beautiful. :')
Whatever you wanna call it, losing your mind, ego death, drug induced psychosis, just psychosis. It's a human expierence for sure. I'm just glad there are others who feel the same way.
@@firstzeroslayer 💯
played this whole album on repeat in high school for two years. four years later these two song has been the soul reason for who I am now. I fucking love you, eyedea... thank you!
This song gives me chills every time. Describes my first manic episode mixed with psychosis. Jesus Christ this is so to the core.
Man two years of being told I was crazy, twice being forced to go to the hospital, and $20,000 in bills later...I come across this and realize THEY ARE THE INSANE ONES...Life's a trip gonzo ;)
Gonzo's dead ;)
Manny Correa Gonzo is never dead.
Mmm you just might actually be crazy 😂
The transition from part 1 to part 2 is flawless. So many brilliant quotes in part 2 set up by the dialog in part 1. Doubt we'll ever see talent like this again.
That was amazing I’m literally on cloud 9 feeling like I’ve done an eighth of shrooms and I’m completely sober this song is just unbelievable
makes me wanna do an eighth or so of shroom tbf
Glad to see I wasn't the only one affected by these songs... I think I was only 16 when I discovered this. Till this day(I'm 23) these songs still have an effect on me.
don't worry guys, you get through it, trust me. you'll be laughing when you get back from where ever you are and it'll feel like a dream.
damn bro message to myself. i made it. you guys can do.
@@BillyBHigh This is the kind of comment you read while far out there and know it's a message from the other side. I lol'd a little seeing that it felt like that to you too seven years on.
One of the most relatable songs of my life 9 years ago now This helped me get through a dark time when I was 19 in college i felt like I was losing my sanity, i became consumed with philosophy and psychedelics and secluded myself completely,I felt so alone...until ill I heard this
I remember putting this CD in when I was like 16 (23 now) layin down on my bed just chillin..this track came on and blew my mind. He was describing everything I felt..
This is great, it completely represents everything about my mind. I cant express my gratitude for these lyrics, amazing.
This is an amazing duo of songs. A couple lines really hit me deeply, and it makes me happy to know that there are artists like this that are getting the message out to people who need to hear it.
very important message. helps people feel not alone in this lonely world
Life changing song(s) right here, Im not 100% sure I'd still be on this planet if it wasnt for Eyedea. The Dvie 1 + 2 bought me back from the brink.
Seriously man. I didn’t know he wrote this at 16. My journey started at 23 and I couldn’t fully enjoy this song until my latest step at 33 this past December. Now this song is just freakin perfection except some minor things I think he didn’t know like…now that you’ve found yourself you realize you gotta keep doing it all!!! The journey is ongoing and we go in and out of madness and can enjoy the journey now. I’m in a madness zone right now xD. Or am I? O.o
"As long as your always moving with yourself, you'll never slip away." That last line is so deep, I love it.
this is one of the few songs that can make me tear up, and they're basically all Eyedea. I think it's clearly in reference to a schizotypal experience where he is extremely self aware which is rare making it all that more precious to those who can so closely identify with it. it's just added on for me that the basic messages are so resonate with the persecutory delusions I've experienced. not a word of this song that doesn't strike a chord with me and that's just an understatement. eyedea had an insane level of awareness which was more than likely a major factor in his premature death. I was so depressed when I realized as soon as I discovered him, I'd already seen his final creations. I mean I was an honor student at one of the best public colleges in the Midwest and I think I needed eyedea and songs like this from keeping me from breaking. idc what anyone says when it comes to hip hop eyedea is the goat and we were all robbed by his premature departure
I agree with you completely. I remember a time when I was just trying to "fit in", and doing a damn good job of it. I would make a fool of myself at school to provoke laughter among my peers. I would act as if I was an idiot, and pretend to not know the answer to questions in class. Why? I think the answer is very simple. Reality is enforced by group dynamics. A group as a whole may have a vastly different perception than a single person who has been alone their entire life. When the group convinces the person to think like they do, the person becomes a part of the group. There is no longer a separation of paradigms. This is what is taking place in our society today. Kids are being raised in a society where it is "uncool" to use logic and reason to analyze established structures of society. What I just said would most likely go over the head of most high school students today, albeit a very straightforward statement. I don't know what makes people like me, you, and others here commenting, so different. Maybe its a psychological adaptation to environment? Maybe we are just smarter than the sheep? But how could that be - I almost fell into the herd myself. Self awareness and introspection saved me. Psychedelics helped with the processes. I know I have something, deep down, wrong with me. Be it personality disorder, schizotypal, mood disorder, who knows. Hell, I could have a bit of it all, but I do know one thing for certain. I wouldn't change it for anything. Yeah I probably could do without the occasional melancholic undertones to life. However, for better or for worse, it has made me an existentialist. I oppose group-think and try to think about everything objectively. I can't even really tell you why, much less why I'm typing all this to an 8 month old comment. It's just that I identified with what you said, and that i wanted to make sure someone like me knew they weren't alone. People like us are out there - don't find them - probably a depressing combination! (We both know we will probably seek them out anyway, after all, great minds think alike) Anywho I will wrap this up with one word : bye
@@Swurveitup i did the same. i thought i was fitting in by pretending to be a stupid stoner. lasted through my freshman year of college where i started to find the passion for academics, and eyedea's music really fueled me through that. unfortunately i think i set myself back very badly with high school and pretending to be a stupid stoner, but i'm back in school now and i hope finally back on track to do what i should be doing. the biggest turning point for me was actually taking mushrooms, i started to hate what i was and feel terrible about what i clearly saw i was doing. my next year at school my gpa went from 2.8 to 3.9, i was an honor student from then on. just went back to school after 3 years off, taking physics and anat/phys (which are really fuckin hard). was disappointing to get an AB (equal to 3.5 GPA) in both, I'll do better in the 2nd part. just need to get into the program
I listened to this song on a cactus trip. It changed my life completely
I want to warn everyone to be very careful with listening to and absorbing Eyedea's music. It is some of most powerful stuff I have experienced. I deeply believe in and love this music!! If you are not feeling rooted in yourself please please be careful! This is coming from someone who has experienced the full affect of this. Nothing but love!!
Alex Goldberg im listening to this because i have depersonalization thats the worst thing a human can handle its a spiritual cancer
Can you please explain more? There is absolutely a deep benefite from listening to this! I am just saying not to take it lightly at all. It can be negative to. Things aren't all good/bad black and white.
if i were you i wont be thinking about what he is saying or try to think the way he did because you ll lead your mind into thinking of the way most people who have depersonalisation do and then you may develop it and you ll be stuck with it and what depersonalisation is basically you became more aware of your self which make you feel like you are in a dream state and you wont recognise your self you ll feel like a stranger to your body your take care
This is the only song ive ever heard that gives me constant chills throughout, fucking phenomenal.
Have you tried Skydiver? That one does it for me as well, every single time.
Listen to "Complaint" by Buju Banton and Garnett Silk. It blew my MIND.
Best MC like when, they say "imagine if my shit was written" well this is that
Anyone else listen to this periodically to ground yourself ? I love this shit
I just did that today, but that was after years of not listening to it. I'm thankful for it
Havent stopped listenint to this whole album for about a month now... only knew big shots when I was a kid from Tony hawk and decided to give the whole album a listen... couldn't have happened at a more divine time. Blessings
These are the only songs that ever changed my life. The first time I REALLY listened pt 1 broke me into pieces cause being that kind of crazy wasn't something i imagined anyone else relating to. Pt 1 made me hopeless and I actually cried, because even tho i'd been working so hard to come back from that i wasn't there yet and was constantly afraid of slipping back. But then pt 2 came on and put things in a way I never had considered. It didn't fix everything, but it gave me comfort and a level of security in the knowledge I did know myself. Maybe I forget sometimes and lead myself astray but eventually I come back. Thank you Eyedea from the bottom of my heart. I wish i could have known you when you were alive, but at least I have something of you to treasure now.
Oh WHOA. I haven't heard this song in roughly a year. I used to listen to this & One of Four by Aesop Rock...A LOT, because the songs were the only 'friends' that understood. But I didn't listen to Part 2 more than a couple times because I "didn't like it." Nah. It's cuz I didn't yet understand it. & this just Autoplayed after I was listening to Shrunk by Aes. I was SO excited. & when I heard the line "the strain to stay sane's your only demon," it hit me that I'd thought I understood before, but I didn't. I was still in resistance. & anyway, babbling on lol I just wanted to say what a breath of fresh air it was when Part 2 came on & it felt like uplifting whispers from a dear friend who is Somewhere Else...& the realization seeping in that I LOVE part 2, because it finally resonates. & that is proof that even when everything feels stagnant, things are still changing...you are still growing. & that the universe & energy work out for you...the song came back to me when I was ready to receive it. Hope everyone is doing alright. Keep on keepin on, friends.💞💫
& also, that HOLY SHIT...he was just a kid essentially, when he was going through This. Damn.
@@theeemaven yeah man. So talented and intelligent. I wish he would have had more help
Iconic. Life changing song.
I have just discovered this amazing beautiful souls music recently and it was at the exact moment in my life that I needed to. It is been the worst two years of my entire life I literally lost the connection of my entire family and I’m all alone in the world a lot of days I’m clinging on by a strand a thin, tiny little strand of faith.Crazy that nothing is really actually physically changed except for my perception and it’s the first time I felt a little bit of hope in two years thank you
I wasn't in line with my life's message when I felt like that and you can't know it until you find someone else who describes it better so while you're sifting through this music, I highly suggest you get in tune with other people who explain why the world is the way it is and there's no better than Peter Joseph and Jacque Fresco. Become a part of the new human Rights movement.
Way ahead of his time 3rd eye hiphop ish is what God wants us to listen 🕊️
When im stressed the fuck out i listen to other artists to calm myself... but nothing is like euedea and the way i feel he really cares for human kind with his whole heart. No matter what i will always try and live my life in the good depths of existence.
I'm truly grateful to have found this divine masterpiece.. This will be primary source of my strength until the end.
i don't know where i would be without these songs
2019 to 2020 anyone ? this song save my life for eternity
These songs are therapy
Michael Larson suffered from one or more of the various forms of dissociative disorders. Perhaps schizo-affective disorder. Perhaps schizophrenia. Maybe borderline personality disorder. Maybe Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder).. could've been why he had multiple aliases. Whatever it may have been, it caused him to abuse substances from the stress caused by the constant symptoms. What is astonishing about all this, is that out of this chaos came amazing music. That's usually the case with most great musicians. If they're not mentally ill, then they are using some sort of psychedelic to mimic psychosis(LSD, shrooms, mescaline, etc). This song is about many things, but the main message is that you are forced to dive, before you can technically resurface. You can't surface without diving. This was symbolic for having to become insane in order to find sanity. This is especially emphasized in the verses at 5:30 - 5:43 R. EYE. P. Michael David Larson(Eyedea/Oliver Heart).
Read eyedeas favorite book bafoon. Freedom from the known- Jiddu Krishnamurti
eyedea has been my therapy for the past while
my good friend introduced me to t
this song and rapper... I am forever thankful. this is REAL rap right here.
Welcome to the music of the most influential underground hip hop artist to ever exist.
......."You can only run away for so long
Before you catch up with yourself
And become part of this song"........
Hot Fucking Damn
RIP Sweet Prince
Honestly I really believe Eyedea's music for better or worse did incline me to be more schizo than I naturally already am inclined to be and who knows if I wasn't so heavily influenced by Eyedea.... These things like "birth of a fish" really resonated with me naturally but who says that is good? Being further disconnected from reality... But this is beautiful art even if it has negative results
We should ask yourself, what is reality? How do we define it? Is it this manmade box of rules and expectations of routine? Is it a game people partake in stonewalling your questions as they claim that's life? Once you disconnect yourself from this reality bubble, your body will begin to deprogram itself from the game.
I once had a psychosis like the one described here and people around me looked foreign as I felt like an outsider, but this frame I've found must be what reality is. This deeper meaning and "spiritual awakening" feels like home, so what is this nihilistic progressive one we live in? When cultures (even monolithic mentalities) die and life goes on, breathtaking vegetations and many lifeforms takes over as if it's just, leaving a beautiful blank slate of potential yet to be found. People are afraid of the unknown and call it crazy, but we are this planet's craftsman and creators of many things. We even created this game we arrogantly call life, so that rule must apply to our own reality frame.
That's when you can realize, I am a creator of my own reality and I can mold it the way I see fit. I'll dance, sing and sit down with the flowers to soak in this beautiful scenery. Society and your fellow humans may criticize you, call you crazy, torment you and cast you out... but what other lifeform does this besides humans? What other lifeform attempts to drag you down as you attempt to live your life? Make you sick to pacify and demoralize you as a human cattle, as they drink wine made of tears. I wonder if we can truly call that "normal".
What you just did was fall to the depths of existence. The basis for building models of understand.
My fren.
@@neurockones Freaking love these songs... Especially part two the words "the best thing you ever did was let go.... let go.... let... go...... let go.... So here you are... and here you've always been..." But I just keep repeating "the best thing you ever DID was let go...." in different ways
Pt 2 has one of the sickest instrumentals ive heard
So glad eyedea put these thoughts into words.. R.eye.P.
thanks eyedea you touched a person you never met. Timeless
I haven't listened to this for years. I know, that's unacceptable. But it literally just popped into my head out of nowhere as I was meditating for a solid DMT journey, so I went with it. Talk about fucking deep, was basically just a teary eyed mess by the end.
I remember picking up this LP DT SLC Uprok- 03-04”..Got me thru H.S. and many situations. Much love Dj Abilities. Rip Eyedea
Hit the nail on the head
Blast from the past classic
I have never seen, read, or heard a description to describe my condition so perfectly. Now everyone I meet has there theories when they meet me about what's wrong, they think I just don't get it. But my minds too preoccupied to care, wish I could just show them this song.
+Mitchell Barus amnen brother, that's why hes so loved, he relates with the unrelateable
+Mitchell Barus It's everyones condition, they just don't know how to say it or fail to realize that this society is ruined.
Michael Larson suffered from one or more of the various forms of dissociative disorders. Perhaps schizo-affective disorder. Perhaps schizophrenia. Maybe borderline personality disorder. Maybe Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder).. could've been why he had multiple aliases. Whatever it may have been, it caused him to abuse substances from the stress caused by the constant symptoms. What is astonishing about all this, is that out of this chaos came amazing music. That's usually the case with most great musicians. If they're not mentally ill, then they are using some sort of psychedelic to mimic psychosis(LSD, shrooms, mescaline, etc). This song is about many things, but the main message is that you are forced to dive, before you can technically resurface. You can't surface without diving. This was symbolic for having to become insane in order to find sanity. This is especially emphasized in the verses at 5:30 - 5:43 R. EYE. P. Michael David Larson(Eyedea/Oliver Heart).
JasonDotCalm as someone with a bachelor's in psych, think it's very clear that he was on the schizoid spectrum although I could definitely just be biased given that's where I'd consider myself and with me relating so much to his music
When i get depressed, I get strung out. When I feel myself slipping away. Remembering the reason I got into drugs. How disgusting this world is. I just think someone might need me someday. I put on this. It reminds me I'm not alone.
4 years after I first heard this, I gotta say it's taken me so long to truly appreciate it, recently I've been derealizing so much due to my forced sobriety from cannabis and cutting off social media, I've been questioning reality and my own existence and this song series makes me feel far more centered. A lot of the friends I spoke to before I quit both social media and weed started to become more absent, not really their fault but because of the fact I can't contact them as often, and them being far more busy with other relationships that I couldn't get any attention from them. People I'm acquainted with but not close with would always just come up to me, ask me stuff, then go along their day. And with my own recent spiritual journey happening all at the same time, and just overall issues with this program that I was put onto that forced me to quit smoking weed or else I get put on probation, and family struggles, the idea of fading away from this plane of existence was both scary and comforting at the same time. All throughout this, however, I've managed to stay grounded in reality and accepted my existence through this song. R EYE P Mikey we miss you 💜💜💜💜
I don't have anyone I am scared at 40 your right this helps you feel more aware and takes you through some process of life's thoughts I find at just relaxes u half way through chat if you want I am getting back into social media have a great time !
Thank You Mikey for every Eyedea birthed & treating me as a friend the one time we met. The recorded depth of your awareness goes beyond the comprehension of 99.9999999% of the planet for eons & beyond. I shall do my best to pass along your blessings thru the sands of time. 👽
I'm in middle school and I love music like napalm death and terrorizer but this is one of the greatest albums of all time but the thing is no one in my school even knows eyedea. This album got me out of a bad place in my life. Eyedea truly is the Jim Morrison of rap.
Glad to see that I'm not the only one battling my own mind. About the same time Micheal passed away I started going through some shit, family deaths, friends death, etc...I was questioning everything and some nights I felt like I was going to go crazy. Then I found this song and I was even more scared (part 1) but then part 2 started playing and just like that....I felt such relief. It truly did help me and saved me.
"I found myself fallin to madness so i dove, the best thing i ever did was let go" this saved me in the dark days and then got scratched into my skin so i never forget.
REYEP
This song is liquid therapy.
Its not liquid though
This hit me so hard. After an overdose, I've finally passed from part 1 to part 2, which I didn't know could happen. I saw death as my only escape, but these songs resonate so well with my recent realizations. RIP Eyedea
Fuck heroin brother. we deserve to live a beautiful life.
I first heard this album when I was 11 so I didn't catch alot of the songs at the time, I then found the many faces of Oliver Hart in my auntie's cd case at (12) asked her what it was, then fell in love with that album I played the shit out of it for a year started expanding my taste in underground hip hop, I also started to really become interested in Quantum mechanics/physics, psychology, and philosophy at the time (mainly because it was when Bioshock Infinite came out). I started getting into Eyedea more I listened to mainly the "hits" like Big Shots then just about half a year ago (now I'm 15) I revisited this album and IM SO GLAD I DID I swear I connected to Mikey in a way I haven't with any other artist or person. When I first listened to this album again I just bursted out into tears while listening to this track, and color my world. Second time I listened while on edibles it was pretty mind blowing and Third It was on triple c's It was just a crazy trip. What I'm basically saying is or what I was trying to is that I swear when I heard the beginning of part 1 it literally BLEW MY FUCKING MIND! It was like he was actually talking to me, he described everything I do and think. And I swear everytime I listened to his albums I always related so much it was surreal. Mikey has pretty much been my mentor without me even knowing. Thank you R. EYE. P
It's kind of magical how many people are able to connect with this.
We all feel so disconnected, so alone.
But it's only because of our own consciousness that we feel disconnected, our biology would never allow us to be as alone as we feel.. if only our language really could accurately convey how we feel.
This song is such a wonderful rollercoaster
"So here you are, and now you understand.. you always were here, that's why you always ran!
I'd like to welcome you.. to the heaven you created. I tell the truth. This is the wisdom of the ancients!" -Eyedea
The first time hearing that verse, I herd it in my own voice through the headphones, such beauty in these words.
First heard part one when I was super baked. Connected with me so hard that I nearly had an anxiety attack. Lol
Yeah man you were super baked. You're so fucking cool. No one cares, your comment doesn't mean anything to anyone. All it says is I'm a loser and heard this song when I was high.
+linglingjr But how do you really feel?
@linglingjr so edgy you're so cool
@Seth Erickson. At this point I may as well call you Rapunzel. All of these comments done built a castle. WELCOME. Here. Always here
Hey, it happened me something like that, but then entered the part 2 and I was super reliefed.
There is hands down no better description of slipping into mania than this.
this song literally describes me to a perfection....so relatable
dark room, isolated and with headphones , closed eyes ! damn i feel my soul crying !
This just became my favorite song.
I would cruise backroads and bump this shit back in the day. Amazing
Deperonalization.
Disagree
@@adamcook2145 if your going to disagree say why
And he saved me from it.
This is SUPER relatable. Raw shit.
It's to specific.....I feel exposed but I'm glad I'm not alone, he just said exactly what I feel and I'm grateful. Your one of the lucky ones....