- Don't brag about yourself. - Don't try to fill the silence moments with something. - Don't ask "how are you today?", if you are not feeling ready for an honest and long, detailed answer.
- Don't expect or demand small talk of an Estonian - we don't do that. It's considered insincere and a waste of time, "empty talk" is the phrase in Estonian. When you talk, let it be about something that actually matters. - "How are you?" is really a double edged sword. Estonians themselves can be classified into two groups, roughly - there are those who ask this question, because they really want to know how you are and actually listen to the answer - to them the "how are you?" is a conversation starter, especially when catching up. The others ask the question but seem to expect only positive answers and/or won't listen to the actual answer. BUT Estonians really want their close friends to show interest in their life and ask about it. The solution is to rephrase the question as a conversation starter: "What have you been doing lately?", "How's work/school?" and if you're really concerned about a friend or a co-worker, be more specific: "you look tired - are you OK?" - We don't do toothpaste-commercial smiles here, a Mona Lisa smile is also a smile, as long as it's genuine and comes from the inside. In service culture Estonians go for professionalism and efficiency - honestly, what's the use of a pearly-white-smiling service person who takes a century to locate the item the client is looking for, gives back the wrong amount of change and/or plays with their phone instead of paying attention to the customers. - Don't let Estonians (or any other locals) provoke you to say something that would be considered offensive or could turn their opinion against you. "What's the worst Estonian food you've tasted?", "What is your opinion on (some scandalous event or news)?", "What is the ugliest part of Tallinn?" etc. That's directly linked to the reputation topic - you don't want to be known as the foreigner who called someone's home-sweet-home district ugly.
4. Never mistake an estonian for a russian or think that Estonia is basically Russia with a different flag. That is a great insult to an estonian, because it tells them that they had failed to maintain their own culture and identity which is extremely important to them.
Estonia, like in many Northern European countries, people tend to value privacy and personal space, and they may not be as outwardly friendly as people in other cultures. This does not mean that Estonians are not friendly, but rather that they may express their friendliness in different ways.
I had been there in Tallinn as tourist twice and at the same time, I had the opportunity to work with them, I would strongly defer. They are neither friendly nor polite! They are the most untouched community in many aspects compared to other northern countries! They should learn how to behave with outsiders!
I've visited Estonia a few times now (will visit again in a few weeks) and while I do have some experience with 'grumpiness' by older employees at a store, most of my encounters have been positive. A lady who worked at a Prisma saw me struggle to find a certain champagne and she asked me if she could help me and I found what I was looking for. A few nice girls working at Gustav Café always made some small talk around me being from the Netherlands and I even enjoyed making the cashier of a toy store smile when I made a dumb joke. I'm aware this is all anecdotal and I certainly notice the space Estonians give people, I also welcome that over the "in your face 'kindness'" you see in many western countries. There is an honesty in it that I appreciate. I've never felt more at ease in a place than I've felt in Estonia (hence why I keep coming back to Tallinn 😋). I won't ever force friendliness on anyone, but I will be my bubbly self towards everyone I interact with. I don't need it reciprocated, but if it is, I do welcome it. Or will that be my reputation in the future? "Look, It's that bubbly Dutch guy" 😂
From a local point of view, I smile at people all the time and usually people smile back : ) Compared to Australia and certain African countries, I find customer support in Estonia to be extremely helpful and "solving problems" oriented. Be it airport, cashiers, ordering via app, hospitals, cafeterias etc. For example in Spain you get a lot of chit-chat, but then you have to wait 5 minutes in a grocery store for the cashier to show up as they are chatting with coworkers 😅In Australia -post covid-nothing is working and service can be-to say bluntly- rude(this happened every 2nd day-with different services-which is a lot). When I get bad service in Estonia, it`s a huge thing and after feedback it`s usually fixed with an apology. I guess it depends what one considers to be good service experience. I prefer fast and efficient. Smile or chit-chat doesn`t mean as much to me(The American fake smile+ "sir/maam", the same in African countries and then your coffee takes 1h to arrive). However even then I don`t find it too hard to chat up a person in Estonia. Perhaps not as easily as in extraverted cultures, but overall most people are friendly when I`m friendly to them.
I spent some time in Estonia. It is certainly true that most Estonians will not look or acknowledge a stranger on the street. In general, I did find the majority of Estonians quite helpful if I asked for help. As a solo, middle aged man, I did attract some attention to myself by the women. I found the women quite direct when it came to flirtation.. I guess I can only think of two instances in three weeks spent there where I came across grumpy individuals. One, was a middle aged cashier at a grocery store. The other, was an attendant at a gas station. I had asked if I may use the w.c. in the store. He said that it was only for customers of the store, but there was also a charge to use the w.c. in the petrol station. I also found the typical Estonian very trustworthy and honest.
As you already mentioned in your video about our turbulent history, i would answer one of your question about: What not to do as a foreigner. Do not expect or demad that locals around where you live would adopt your ways and traditions and do not act like you own the place. Consequences may vary, sometimes they can also be bad. As you mentioned... reputation. Word travels and people react. All of that is tied to the history. People can be very sensitive about foreigners telling them what to do.
One thing Estonians are correctly pointing out is that they have existed as a country since 1918, not 1991. Important to remember despite times of occupation.
As an Estonian, friendliness and random smiling part is totally on point. When i started traveling the world, at first it felt so wierd that random people just smile at you in the street. Something you do not see in Estonia.
NEVER EVER tell how other person should live his/her life. NEVER EVER insult a woman. Usually they are, who make the decision if you are acceptable for company. Do NOT say ,,how do you do". Hold your DISTANCE. LEARN and speak estonian.
estonians aren't friendly but there's a plus side to an environment like this imo - you can be the way you feel and giving people space (like we do haha, a lot of it both physically and emotionally) is first of all respectful in it's own way and secondly blocks some aspects of toxic positivity. it's fine to not try to act as sunshine 24/7 if you aren't feeling it, negative emotions are allowed too. also, just having lived in portugal for a year and met many latin people, esp from latam - while their friendliness is more genuine and different from USians, at some point it started feeling even kind of anxious to me. like, bruh, chill, why are you so afraid of 1)people not smiling 24/7; 2)this is even bigger one - silence. there can be no silence, every space of silence must be filled with something or the world will end. those are the aspects that culture shocked me the most in the end and made me really miss home. i really didn't fit in, i had a hard time and people probably had a really hard time with me as well because we express our warmth (that we do have!) differently
As Estonian, I would hate American-style customer service. For me, it feels like I am under attack all the time and I lose any desire to buy anything or use any services. Maybe places that are meant for foreign tourists should be more like their taste but at least those services I use as local should be quick, clean and correct :D
I have to admit that for the last 10 years, I have made it a game to get the older ladies at grocery store checkouts to smile. It's NOT easy. I usually get 'em by doing something over-the-top / 'stupid American'ish. I have found that the smiles are usually genuine. In general however (warning, 'generalization alert"), I 100% agree that this sort of behavior annoys most Estonians (and you won't know it because they won't tell you). And as far as Estonia being small, it is RIDICULOUS! I recently needed a referral on someone completely random, so what did I do? I went to Facebook and found a mutual friend and asked my friend. EVERYONE is like 1 to 2 friends away from everyone else. Picture High School, and you'll understand. While Manan is right about one wrong step alienating a chunk of people, this 'smallness' also has some major pluses. As an example, I find that my friends/acquaintances in Estonia, while fewer in number than the states, have a much broader span of economic statuses, occupations, ages, interests, etc... Putting it another way, the small connected nature of Estonia allows for much larger breadth in your social circles... which I find to be great plus. Overall though, great video (all very true IMO).
Haha, it`s the same for me :D Grocery store game. I think sometimes cashiers can also just be too tired to react, but overall most of the time looking into the eye, smiling and firmly saying "hello" does the trick. It`s like they are almost surprised that someone finally notices them. Heard from a friend(who used to work as a cashier) that cashiers can get a lot of shit from customers who are rude to them. Perhaps it`s a defence mechanism. But yeah, it`s fun to try to make people react/smile when going to places.
Here friendlyness is earned thing, so yes it is correct we do not act friendly as it is kinda like lying. Thats good that understood it's a cultural thing, there's many reasons though.
independence and culture? It barely has a population of 1 Million. Why not make Shanghai a country or Moscow. Estonian culture is something between Russian culture and Pagan self destructivness.
I think the video is generally on point. I don't completely agree with you saying people don't smile to each other - they do, just usually not to complete strangers and there are exceptions even here (bumping into each other in a queue, approaching someone on the street to ask something etc). My advice: do not alienate yourself by not trying to learn Estonian. It will be harder to blend in and make local friends if you speak no Estonian (it requires someone to translate to you all the time or everyone to speak English which is uncomfortable for many people). Besides, even if you don't manage to learn to speak the language fluently it still looks good if you at least try (people here consider it respectful to speak a language of a country where you go to live). Also I would recommend not staring at people and respecting people's personal space by not coming too close. It's especially important if you are a guy.
"If somebody's definitely smiling at you then it probably means that they're crazy or they really really really like you or they're probably interested in you." I not only disagree with this statement but also find it harmful to the evolving culture of Tallinn as a European capital. There are many Estonians who like to smile at others, just to be that way. I don't think all Estonians in Tallinn like and accept the "this is how Estonians are" rhetoric. Especially the younger generations. We cannot deny the fact that Tallinn is not a Mediterranean city where you can loudly say hola and smile all the time. It's true that it's way more difficult to stay positive without a particular reason. And also the fact that people smile way less than such places. However, when I think about the reasons, I don't think people don't smile because they don't like smiling or people who smile. This sounds like "Estonians don't like sun" to me. It's not that they don't like it, it's just something they don't see often and they are not used to it. I believe it is a habit that can and will look different in time. On a personal level: I do smile at people when I think it makes sense. Probably at least half the time people smile back. I'm not talking about walking on the sidewalk and smiling at random people. You know, occasions like; the groceries checkout, or bumping into each other in a store entrance, arriving to a queue at the same, seeing your neighbour in the morning etc. That's actually why I found your comment on this discouraging. Perhaps it triggered me because I'm actively trying the opposite. I am specifically talking about Tallinn because it's the only city I spent enough time to have opinions. Also because I believe in our times capitals and big cities develop their blended culture which I see as a mix of the nation's traditional & capital's international cultural elements. Tallinn is capable of that too, therefore, I would like to tell everyone: Please do make the first mistake. Say "tere", "tervist", "tsau", "nägemist", and "head aega". Don't be shy, smile! 😊 ps. Hey Manan, I know you mean no harm. You even speak Estonian. Keep up the good work, we appreciate it.
Estonian here: "automatic American style smile and 'hello, how are you?' are big NO-NO. It feels like a you are hitting on us. Women including.Especially combined with very tiny 'personal bubble' Arabs and many ppl from warmer climates habitually have. You are Arab male, trying to 'swim' under our face, you might get kicked into teeth for just trying to talk (from your pov). God forbid you try to hold hand or smth. Thats violent reaction guaranteed. Do not try it, even tho it might be normal in Afghanistan. How to behave not to alienate yourself? Keep about 1-1.5m away, dont try smalltalk for the sake of it, silence is okay after initial 'hello'. When dealing with total strangers in public setting (bus stop, bus) keep your quiet distance, we'll do same. When strangers are sharing a car, entire car full of ppl quiet for hours is normal for us after 'hello'-s. Dry humor sarcastic of yourself is as nonoffensive as it gets. If you can speak Estonian even badly, show it - it does lot to break ice. We are willing to look past your origin, skin and whatnot when you show you respect us enough to learn the language and behave generally like we do. Muslims arent new - we've had Turkic Azeris among us for decades - but they've learned to mostly assimilate, in return we dont really care what their religion is. Religion: We are mostly atheists. Except for some Christian Protestants and Eastern Orthodox. DO NOT TRY TO PREACH. All sorts of Christian sects doing it on street are annoying enough - and they are 'our own', you, obviously foreigner trying to 'explain how we should live' will not be appreciated. But by the same token, we wont be judging you when you do smth your own people would consider 'haram'. Here you can 'reinvent' yourself without having to think what your 'community' would think. We wont care when your newfound love is weekend pork barbeque with a case of beer. Considering all of that, Estonia might work out for you when you are introvert by nature and do not feel need for a "community from your own culture". Otherwise, it will get depressing as fuck - I know for a fact many refugees (more than 50%) have left the country because they could not tolerate lack of community from their own culture. By the same token, community they missed would have limited their options (haram/halal judgments) If you think you can adapt on your own - more power to you. Easiest way to build local contacts/life networks would be through work - if you have any Estonians you work with, thats one path. Volunteering for things - animal rescue and so forth would be next quick path for creating friendly contacts among locals very fast. my 2c
Damn.. nimetad pakistaanlast araablaseks ja seejärel veel afgaaniks ja siis oodates temalt mingit austust. Ma eestlasena vaatan, et sa just ise käitud nagu mingi ennast täis ja maailmast eriti mitte midagi teadev ameerika redneck
Empty smiles and greetings mean nothing for us , if we do greet someone and smile then that means we really really mean it and i like that more than some fake barbiedoll affection.
I'd like to challenge Your second point. While closed judgements are not good (I agree with You) - The open questions are always welcome. Like What if? Or 'It seems to me.. ..what do You think?".
Good and correct. Only missing i would say is never try speaking Russian specialy if you are a tourist also not try to sugest Estonia is Russian or has ties to it as we only have been forced to live under their rule (we never have wanted to) where a lot of us d 1 3 d. Same reason why rest of the word does not understand that Russia has no chanse against Estonia in a war, as every able man, women, child and elder will fight against them (yes even disabled like me, cant walt or sho0t due to health issues but have other things that are needed like medical abilities/equipment and strategic knowlage, everyone will give what they got that will and can be needed). Russia saw that when they tried to insight unrest, instead all over the coumtried over hundred thousand men and women volenteered for police to held back the unrest. Puudi was unsecsesful and was we will sand together and has not tried anything similar since.
After living in Germany and then moving to Canada, i can totally relate to the difficulties/ challenges that we face on a daily basis as a brown person in Europe. It’s a lot work to get into the society specially when you are coming alone. I would not blame it on the native people but I do request people to be kind and welcoming towards foreigners. The biggest fear that I had while living in Germany was that even if i would scream so loud at a public place, even then nobody will come to you. Because of the “personal space”. But after years of living you get accustomed to the behaviors of people. Now i feel people are intruding into my personal space if someone asks me beyond how I am doing. Everyone needs to give themselves some time to get to know the place. Every country has some good things and bad things. There are millions of things that i really like about Estonia and Germany, but at the same time I would not deny the fact that its very hard for people like us to get permanently settled there.
They say, that almost always in conversations touching religion or politics may not ending well. Religion in Estonia is a different case then in most places, but still there is a danger to offend the person coming to visit us as here are lots of ateists and they dont care any religion that matter. And religious people for sure feel offended as they dont understand it is not personal against their believs but overall statment.
even we, the atheists in Estonia (which is majority) can easily get, not offended but annoyed if you speak about religion very dogmatically and we may want to argue back, which in turn may offend you if you are deeply religious. After all, imposing of religion by Balto-Germanic invaders was big part of our troublesome history and many Estonians are extremely proud that we didn't give in and didn't allow us to be indoctrinated. And even though old Estonian animistic/pagan beliefs are technically long dead, many still hold these dead old folk beliefs in high regard as the true Estonian roots.. dead but not forgotten
@@MananAnwar There is one old estonian 'spell' we use to this day, which everyone knows. It is especially used around children because there it is most applicable. It is if a child hurts themselves. You blow on the hurt area between every iteration of the spells line, and it usually helps to alleviate the pain and calm the child. It goes like this: Varesele valu / Pain to the crow Harakale haigus/ Disease to the magpie Mustalinnule muu tõbi/ All other ills to the blackbird Ja meie laps saab jälle terveks/ And our child will be well again This thing is ancient. Older than we know and remember. And all of us know it. Not all of us know that it is an old spell tho. There is a curse as well. That is less known but it is equally ancient. However if we don't mean it, we do not speak it out loud and we do not write it down. And it takes a LOT to get us to mean it. Getting your elders to even tell you the words of the curse is something they have to overcome a mental block for. The levity which my mother told me about it generated automatic respect for that rule 🤷♀ Basically estonians don't think all this folk stuff is real but we act by it anyway just in case. A funny contradiction. Should you meet an old person in the woods or bog and they ask you to fetch water or give them your bread, they definitely are not the Forrest Old (metsavana, a nature spirit). Absolutely no way are they that... however an estonian will most likely treat them as if they were, because you can not afford to be wrong. A Pascal's wager sort of a situation. Hope this was something you were looking for
Estonian history is complex and slso saddly outside of Estonia some of it is so messed and mixed to haze what was. There has been lots of suffering and anyone not understanding can get put in place, hopefully with words, so yeah please everyone do not state anything about Estonian heratige or history.
Hello sir, i really was thinking about moving to Estonia in my future, but I would have to learn the language. Is it that hard? How long it takes to catch the basics? Did u learn Estonian after moving there? Also did u speak fluent english before moving to Estonia?
I spoke english before hand. Estonian can take anywhere between 6 months to 2 years. See the link in my description with a free ebook you can read to find if Estonia is suitable for you.
When you are native English speaker, Estonian will be about as hard for you as learning Finnish. Multiple thousands of hours of study. Japanese speakers seem to learn it rather quickly, same with Finns (latter logical as we are related) Dunno how it'd be with speakers of various African languages or Arabic speakers - yet to see one who has actually managed it.
@@BercikUNWL you easily get by with English in most everyday situations and of course you can find many jobs in which the spoken language is English. Knowing the basics in Estonian is a nice plus, that may make the locals smile and sympathize you.
Shyness is one thing, bad service is another. Unfortunately, you will get better service in a cheap hotel in Helsinki than in an expensive one in Estonia. Just my own experience.
When the Estonian official (PM?) was interviewed on Wion (Indian news channel), I notice she kept saying -- "when Estonia regained our independence from the Soviet Union"...in multiple sentences. Its almost as if she wanted the audience to know that Estonia is not some breakaway region of Russia soon to be reclaimed. I surmised they are insecure about their independence, and worried that it will one day be taken away from them by Russia. They are between a rock and a hard place. NATO exists solely to contain and diminish the power of Russia. By joining NATO, Estonia has brought NATO to the doorstep of Russia. It thus cannot expect anything but hostility from Russia as Russia aims to push back NATO from its door step. Absent NATO, Estonia would be "reclaimed" by Russia or at the very least, turned into a neutral buffer state. I feel Russia will eventually start demanding Estonia exit NATO and assume neutrality to demonstrate non-hostile intent. If that does not happen, conflict at some level will inevitably follow.
Armchair PhD: "I feel Russia will eventually start demanding Estonia exit NATO." Why they don't demand that Finland or Turkey must exit NATO, or that western countries support to Ukraine must stop? With starting war in Ukraine Russia is not in position to demand anything from anyone during at least next 30 years. Germanies (both of them) didn't demand in 1969 that Poland must exit from Warsaw pact either.
being pragmatic and serious is not lack of friendliness. Estonians are very straightforward and serious. Estonians are not making the false façade. Estonian smiles and is friendly if he/she feels like it. And like it is said, Estonians don't like when moments of silence are artificially filled with blabbering about whatever. So, naturally if you don't know the person, you don't have much to talk with him/her. We are just utterly and completely honest to ourselves and others. So if you don't like such culture, then go be where you feel more comfortable with constant fake smiles and casual empty chit-chat
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
- Don't brag about yourself.
- Don't try to fill the silence moments with something.
- Don't ask "how are you today?", if you are not feeling ready for an honest and long, detailed answer.
Good points.
- Don't expect or demand small talk of an Estonian - we don't do that. It's considered insincere and a waste of time, "empty talk" is the phrase in Estonian. When you talk, let it be about something that actually matters.
- "How are you?" is really a double edged sword. Estonians themselves can be classified into two groups, roughly - there are those who ask this question, because they really want to know how you are and actually listen to the answer - to them the "how are you?" is a conversation starter, especially when catching up. The others ask the question but seem to expect only positive answers and/or won't listen to the actual answer. BUT Estonians really want their close friends to show interest in their life and ask about it. The solution is to rephrase the question as a conversation starter: "What have you been doing lately?", "How's work/school?" and if you're really concerned about a friend or a co-worker, be more specific: "you look tired - are you OK?"
- We don't do toothpaste-commercial smiles here, a Mona Lisa smile is also a smile, as long as it's genuine and comes from the inside. In service culture Estonians go for professionalism and efficiency - honestly, what's the use of a pearly-white-smiling service person who takes a century to locate the item the client is looking for, gives back the wrong amount of change and/or plays with their phone instead of paying attention to the customers.
- Don't let Estonians (or any other locals) provoke you to say something that would be considered offensive or could turn their opinion against you. "What's the worst Estonian food you've tasted?", "What is your opinion on (some scandalous event or news)?", "What is the ugliest part of Tallinn?" etc. That's directly linked to the reputation topic - you don't want to be known as the foreigner who called someone's home-sweet-home district ugly.
@@miisupesa informative.
4. Never mistake an estonian for a russian or think that Estonia is basically Russia with a different flag. That is a great insult to an estonian, because it tells them that they had failed to maintain their own culture and identity which is extremely important to them.
Estonia, like in many Northern European countries, people tend to value privacy and personal space, and they may not be as outwardly friendly as people in other cultures. This does not mean that Estonians are not friendly, but rather that they may express their friendliness in different ways.
I had been there in Tallinn as tourist twice and at the same time, I had the opportunity to work with them, I would strongly defer. They are neither friendly nor polite! They are the most untouched community in many aspects compared to other northern countries! They should learn how to behave with outsiders!
I've visited Estonia a few times now (will visit again in a few weeks) and while I do have some experience with 'grumpiness' by older employees at a store, most of my encounters have been positive. A lady who worked at a Prisma saw me struggle to find a certain champagne and she asked me if she could help me and I found what I was looking for. A few nice girls working at Gustav Café always made some small talk around me being from the Netherlands and I even enjoyed making the cashier of a toy store smile when I made a dumb joke. I'm aware this is all anecdotal and I certainly notice the space Estonians give people, I also welcome that over the "in your face 'kindness'" you see in many western countries. There is an honesty in it that I appreciate. I've never felt more at ease in a place than I've felt in Estonia (hence why I keep coming back to Tallinn 😋). I won't ever force friendliness on anyone, but I will be my bubbly self towards everyone I interact with. I don't need it reciprocated, but if it is, I do welcome it. Or will that be my reputation in the future? "Look, It's that bubbly Dutch guy" 😂
From a local point of view, I smile at people all the time and usually people smile back : ) Compared to Australia and certain African countries, I find customer support in Estonia to be extremely helpful and "solving problems" oriented. Be it airport, cashiers, ordering via app, hospitals, cafeterias etc. For example in Spain you get a lot of chit-chat, but then you have to wait 5 minutes in a grocery store for the cashier to show up as they are chatting with coworkers 😅In Australia -post covid-nothing is working and service can be-to say bluntly- rude(this happened every 2nd day-with different services-which is a lot). When I get bad service in Estonia, it`s a huge thing and after feedback it`s usually fixed with an apology. I guess it depends what one considers to be good service experience. I prefer fast and efficient. Smile or chit-chat doesn`t mean as much to me(The American fake smile+ "sir/maam", the same in African countries and then your coffee takes 1h to arrive).
However even then I don`t find it too hard to chat up a person in Estonia. Perhaps not as easily as in extraverted cultures, but overall most people are friendly when I`m friendly to them.
American smiles in rural America, especially the South are not "fake" they are very genuine.
I spent some time in Estonia. It is certainly true that most Estonians will not look or acknowledge a stranger on the street. In general, I did find the majority of Estonians quite helpful if I asked for help. As a solo, middle aged man, I did attract some attention to myself by the women. I found the women quite direct when it came to flirtation.. I guess I can only think of two instances in three weeks spent there where I came across grumpy individuals. One, was a middle aged cashier at a grocery store. The other, was an attendant at a gas station. I had asked if I may use the w.c. in the store. He said that it was only for customers of the store, but there was also a charge to use the w.c. in the petrol station. I also found the typical Estonian very trustworthy and honest.
@@VacumOvale are you the cashier?
Are you sure those ,,women" were estonians? There are some others...
As you already mentioned in your video about our turbulent history, i would answer one of your question about: What not to do as a foreigner.
Do not expect or demad that locals around where you live would adopt your ways and traditions and do not act like you own the place. Consequences may vary, sometimes they can also be bad.
As you mentioned... reputation. Word travels and people react.
All of that is tied to the history. People can be very sensitive about foreigners telling them what to do.
One thing Estonians are correctly pointing out is that they have existed as a country since 1918, not 1991. Important to remember despite times of occupation.
Good point.
As an Estonian, friendliness and random smiling part is totally on point. When i started traveling the world, at first it felt so wierd that random people just smile at you in the street. Something you do not see in Estonia.
NEVER EVER tell how other person should live his/her life.
NEVER EVER insult a woman. Usually they are, who make the decision if you are acceptable for company.
Do NOT say ,,how do you do".
Hold your DISTANCE.
LEARN and speak estonian.
estonians aren't friendly but there's a plus side to an environment like this imo - you can be the way you feel and giving people space (like we do haha, a lot of it both physically and emotionally) is first of all respectful in it's own way and secondly blocks some aspects of toxic positivity. it's fine to not try to act as sunshine 24/7 if you aren't feeling it, negative emotions are allowed too. also, just having lived in portugal for a year and met many latin people, esp from latam - while their friendliness is more genuine and different from USians, at some point it started feeling even kind of anxious to me. like, bruh, chill, why are you so afraid of 1)people not smiling 24/7; 2)this is even bigger one - silence. there can be no silence, every space of silence must be filled with something or the world will end. those are the aspects that culture shocked me the most in the end and made me really miss home. i really didn't fit in, i had a hard time and people probably had a really hard time with me as well because we express our warmth (that we do have!) differently
Thank you for watching and commenting Helina, Appreciate your time.
As Estonian, I would hate American-style customer service. For me, it feels like I am under attack all the time and I lose any desire to buy anything or use any services. Maybe places that are meant for foreign tourists should be more like their taste but at least those services I use as local should be quick, clean and correct :D
I have to admit that for the last 10 years, I have made it a game to get the older ladies at grocery store checkouts to smile. It's NOT easy. I usually get 'em by doing something over-the-top / 'stupid American'ish. I have found that the smiles are usually genuine. In general however (warning, 'generalization alert"), I 100% agree that this sort of behavior annoys most Estonians (and you won't know it because they won't tell you). And as far as Estonia being small, it is RIDICULOUS! I recently needed a referral on someone completely random, so what did I do? I went to Facebook and found a mutual friend and asked my friend. EVERYONE is like 1 to 2 friends away from everyone else. Picture High School, and you'll understand. While Manan is right about one wrong step alienating a chunk of people, this 'smallness' also has some major pluses. As an example, I find that my friends/acquaintances in Estonia, while fewer in number than the states, have a much broader span of economic statuses, occupations, ages, interests, etc... Putting it another way, the small connected nature of Estonia allows for much larger breadth in your social circles... which I find to be great plus. Overall though, great video (all very true IMO).
Tf
Haha, it`s the same for me :D Grocery store game. I think sometimes cashiers can also just be too tired to react, but overall most of the time looking into the eye, smiling and firmly saying "hello" does the trick. It`s like they are almost surprised that someone finally notices them. Heard from a friend(who used to work as a cashier) that cashiers can get a lot of shit from customers who are rude to them. Perhaps it`s a defence mechanism. But yeah, it`s fun to try to make people react/smile when going to places.
Here friendlyness is earned thing, so yes it is correct we do not act friendly as it is kinda like lying.
Thats good that understood it's a cultural thing, there's many reasons though.
Love the beard, hairstyle combo, real 30s style inspiration right there.
Important to say you support Estonian’s independence and its culture!
independence and culture? It barely has a population of 1 Million. Why not make Shanghai a country or Moscow.
Estonian culture is something between Russian culture and Pagan self destructivness.
@@Q-hv2cb do some research
@@Q-hv2cb agree it should be part of Russia!
It took 2 years that my colleague called my name...
Yep, normal.
I think the video is generally on point. I don't completely agree with you saying people don't smile to each other - they do, just usually not to complete strangers and there are exceptions even here (bumping into each other in a queue, approaching someone on the street to ask something etc).
My advice: do not alienate yourself by not trying to learn Estonian. It will be harder to blend in and make local friends if you speak no Estonian (it requires someone to translate to you all the time or everyone to speak English which is uncomfortable for many people). Besides, even if you don't manage to learn to speak the language fluently it still looks good if you at least try (people here consider it respectful to speak a language of a country where you go to live).
Also I would recommend not staring at people and respecting people's personal space by not coming too close. It's especially important if you are a guy.
I’ll add a point to never get into bad credit history.
To sum it up:
Give respect to get respect.
Mind your own business.
Don't be an asshole.
Thank you for your information 😊
"If somebody's definitely smiling at you then it probably means that they're crazy or they really really really like you or they're probably interested in you."
I not only disagree with this statement but also find it harmful to the evolving culture of Tallinn as a European capital. There are many Estonians who like to smile at others, just to be that way. I don't think all Estonians in Tallinn like and accept the "this is how Estonians are" rhetoric. Especially the younger generations.
We cannot deny the fact that Tallinn is not a Mediterranean city where you can loudly say hola and smile all the time. It's true that it's way more difficult to stay positive without a particular reason. And also the fact that people smile way less than such places. However, when I think about the reasons, I don't think people don't smile because they don't like smiling or people who smile. This sounds like "Estonians don't like sun" to me. It's not that they don't like it, it's just something they don't see often and they are not used to it. I believe it is a habit that can and will look different in time.
On a personal level: I do smile at people when I think it makes sense. Probably at least half the time people smile back. I'm not talking about walking on the sidewalk and smiling at random people. You know, occasions like; the groceries checkout, or bumping into each other in a store entrance, arriving to a queue at the same, seeing your neighbour in the morning etc.
That's actually why I found your comment on this discouraging. Perhaps it triggered me because I'm actively trying the opposite.
I am specifically talking about Tallinn because it's the only city I spent enough time to have opinions. Also because I believe in our times capitals and big cities develop their blended culture which I see as a mix of the nation's traditional & capital's international cultural elements. Tallinn is capable of that too, therefore, I would like to tell everyone:
Please do make the first mistake. Say "tere", "tervist", "tsau", "nägemist", and "head aega". Don't be shy, smile! 😊
ps. Hey Manan, I know you mean no harm. You even speak Estonian. Keep up the good work, we appreciate it.
Thank you. One of the most thoughtful criticisms I have received.
If you will ever have difficulties finding your gate in airport for the tallinn trip , search for the most sad faces..
They are simply a very direct and reserved people. That’s also a common thing in the Nordic countries.
Estonian here: "automatic American style smile and 'hello, how are you?' are big NO-NO. It feels like a you are hitting on us. Women including.Especially combined with very tiny 'personal bubble' Arabs and many ppl from warmer climates habitually have. You are Arab male, trying to 'swim' under our face, you might get kicked into teeth for just trying to talk (from your pov). God forbid you try to hold hand or smth. Thats violent reaction guaranteed. Do not try it, even tho it might be normal in Afghanistan.
How to behave not to alienate yourself? Keep about 1-1.5m away, dont try smalltalk for the sake of it, silence is okay after initial 'hello'. When dealing with total strangers in public setting (bus stop, bus) keep your quiet distance, we'll do same. When strangers are sharing a car, entire car full of ppl quiet for hours is normal for us after 'hello'-s.
Dry humor sarcastic of yourself is as nonoffensive as it gets. If you can speak Estonian even badly, show it - it does lot to break ice. We are willing to look past your origin, skin and whatnot when you show you respect us enough to learn the language and behave generally like we do. Muslims arent new - we've had Turkic Azeris among us for decades - but they've learned to mostly assimilate, in return we dont really care what their religion is.
Religion: We are mostly atheists. Except for some Christian Protestants and Eastern Orthodox. DO NOT TRY TO PREACH. All sorts of Christian sects doing it on street are annoying enough - and they are 'our own', you, obviously foreigner trying to 'explain how we should live' will not be appreciated.
But by the same token, we wont be judging you when you do smth your own people would consider 'haram'. Here you can 'reinvent' yourself without having to think what your 'community' would think. We wont care when your newfound love is weekend pork barbeque with a case of beer.
Considering all of that, Estonia might work out for you when you are introvert by nature and do not feel need for a "community from your own culture". Otherwise, it will get depressing as fuck - I know for a fact many refugees (more than 50%) have left the country because they could not tolerate lack of community from their own culture. By the same token, community they missed would have limited their options (haram/halal judgments) If you think you can adapt on your own - more power to you.
Easiest way to build local contacts/life networks would be through work - if you have any Estonians you work with, thats one path. Volunteering for things - animal rescue and so forth would be next quick path for creating friendly contacts among locals very fast.
my 2c
Damn.. nimetad pakistaanlast araablaseks ja seejärel veel afgaaniks ja siis oodates temalt mingit austust. Ma eestlasena vaatan, et sa just ise käitud nagu mingi ennast täis ja maailmast eriti mitte midagi teadev ameerika redneck
Empty smiles and greetings mean nothing for us , if we do greet someone and smile then that means we really really mean it and i like that more than some fake barbiedoll affection.
Yep, Agreed and I like one genuine smile more than a 1000 fake ones.
I'd like to challenge Your second point. While closed judgements are not good (I agree with You) - The open questions are always welcome. Like What if? Or 'It seems to me.. ..what do You think?".
You really need a level of comfort and familiarity with the other person in this case. (And you should be prepared to answer such questions yourself)
Good and correct.
Only missing i would say is never try speaking Russian specialy if you are a tourist also not try to sugest Estonia is Russian or has ties to it as we only have been forced to live under their rule (we never have wanted to) where a lot of us d 1 3 d.
Same reason why rest of the word does not understand that Russia has no chanse against Estonia in a war, as every able man, women, child and elder will fight against them (yes even disabled like me, cant walt or sho0t due to health issues but have other things that are needed like medical abilities/equipment and strategic knowlage, everyone will give what they got that will and can be needed).
Russia saw that when they tried to insight unrest, instead all over the coumtried over hundred thousand men and women volenteered for police to held back the unrest. Puudi was unsecsesful and was we will sand together and has not tried anything similar since.
Sorry for the messy text, ortographic dyslexia, eye problems and pain makes it hard wo write without mistakes.
I love hearing expats opinions about Estonia, thank you for sharing! Subscribed and binging your videos because you make some really good points
Glad to have you here. Please DM me on IG. Let’s chat.
Just found out im crazy.... or mayne im not estonian...
Well im not a Nice person but im definitely kind ...i choose authenticity over niceness.
After living in Germany and then moving to Canada, i can totally relate to the difficulties/ challenges that we face on a daily basis as a brown person in Europe.
It’s a lot work to get into the society specially when you are coming alone.
I would not blame it on the native people but I do request people to be kind and welcoming towards foreigners.
The biggest fear that I had while living in Germany was that even if i would scream so loud at a public place, even then nobody will come to you. Because of the “personal space”.
But after years of living you get accustomed to the behaviors of people.
Now i feel people are intruding into my personal space if someone asks me beyond how I am doing.
Everyone needs to give themselves some time to get to know the place. Every country has some good things and bad things.
There are millions of things that i really like about Estonia and Germany, but at the same time I would not deny the fact that its very hard for people like us to get permanently settled there.
I think the second point would apply everywhere, wouldn't it?
They say, that almost always in conversations touching religion or politics may not ending well. Religion in Estonia is a different case then in most places, but still there is a danger to offend the person coming to visit us as here are lots of ateists and they dont care any religion that matter. And religious people for sure feel offended as they dont understand it is not personal against their believs but overall statment.
It’s always better to talk about spirituality than religion.
even we, the atheists in Estonia (which is majority) can easily get, not offended but annoyed if you speak about religion very dogmatically and we may want to argue back, which in turn may offend you if you are deeply religious. After all, imposing of religion by Balto-Germanic invaders was big part of our troublesome history and many Estonians are extremely proud that we didn't give in and didn't allow us to be indoctrinated. And even though old Estonian animistic/pagan beliefs are technically long dead, many still hold these dead old folk beliefs in high regard as the true Estonian roots.. dead but not forgotten
@@MrJuwarra I’m very interested in those old pagan traditions and sites.
@@MananAnwar There is one old estonian 'spell' we use to this day, which everyone knows. It is especially used around children because there it is most applicable.
It is if a child hurts themselves. You blow on the hurt area between every iteration of the spells line, and it usually helps to alleviate the pain and calm the child. It goes like this:
Varesele valu / Pain to the crow
Harakale haigus/ Disease to the magpie
Mustalinnule muu tõbi/ All other ills to the blackbird
Ja meie laps saab jälle terveks/ And our child will be well again
This thing is ancient. Older than we know and remember. And all of us know it. Not all of us know that it is an old spell tho.
There is a curse as well. That is less known but it is equally ancient. However if we don't mean it, we do not speak it out loud and we do not write it down. And it takes a LOT to get us to mean it. Getting your elders to even tell you the words of the curse is something they have to overcome a mental block for. The levity which my mother told me about it generated automatic respect for that rule 🤷♀
Basically estonians don't think all this folk stuff is real but we act by it anyway just in case. A funny contradiction.
Should you meet an old person in the woods or bog and they ask you to fetch water or give them your bread, they definitely are not the Forrest Old (metsavana, a nature spirit). Absolutely no way are they that... however an estonian will most likely treat them as if they were, because you can not afford to be wrong. A Pascal's wager sort of a situation.
Hope this was something you were looking for
I envy you living in Estonia its a beautiful country
It is.
Very well said
Thank you
Estonian history is complex and slso saddly outside of Estonia some of it is so messed and mixed to haze what was.
There has been lots of suffering and anyone not understanding can get put in place, hopefully with words, so yeah please everyone do not state anything about Estonian heratige or history.
I don't agree with everything, but with a lot
But of course the problem with me is that I was born here.
Good luck
👍
I am utterly incapable of not bashing Russia and the USSR
Hello sir, i really was thinking about moving to Estonia in my future, but I would have to learn the language. Is it that hard? How long it takes to catch the basics? Did u learn Estonian after moving there? Also did u speak fluent english before moving to Estonia?
I spoke english before hand.
Estonian can take anywhere between 6 months to 2 years.
See the link in my description with a free ebook you can read to find if Estonia is suitable for you.
When you are native English speaker, Estonian will be about as hard for you as learning Finnish. Multiple thousands of hours of study.
Japanese speakers seem to learn it rather quickly, same with Finns (latter logical as we are related)
Dunno how it'd be with speakers of various African languages or Arabic speakers - yet to see one who has actually managed it.
@@unitrx5535 im Polish, know english pretty good but it aint my native language
@@BercikUNWL you easily get by with English in most everyday situations and of course you can find many jobs in which the spoken language is English. Knowing the basics in Estonian is a nice plus, that may make the locals smile and sympathize you.
@@MananAnwar I think the link to your website it broken?
Shyness is one thing, bad service is another. Unfortunately, you will get better service in a cheap hotel in Helsinki than in an expensive one in Estonia. Just my own experience.
What year was that ? It’s a lot better now.
@@MananAnwar Two weeks ago, Unfortunately
Seems less like adapting to a culture and more like you're trying to entice a wild dog to be calm and not bite you.
Do you think it is ok for Estonians to take sides and comment on American politics? They do all the time so we can do the same.
Thats the whole point of having freedom of speech, isn't it.
How r u janab
Still soviet influence
can we convert Pakistani driving license into Estonian?
Yes
@@MananAnwar will appreciate if you make a detailed video about process and requirements
English 50percent ho to chal sakta hy insan
I’ll just avoid it by not going to Estonia, still thank u bro!
When the Estonian official (PM?) was interviewed on Wion (Indian news channel), I notice she kept saying -- "when Estonia regained our independence from the Soviet Union"...in multiple sentences.
Its almost as if she wanted the audience to know that Estonia is not some breakaway region of Russia soon to be reclaimed.
I surmised they are insecure about their independence, and worried that it will one day be taken away from them by Russia.
They are between a rock and a hard place. NATO exists solely to contain and diminish the power of Russia. By joining NATO, Estonia has brought NATO to the doorstep of Russia. It thus cannot expect anything but hostility from Russia as Russia aims to push back NATO from its door step.
Absent NATO, Estonia would be "reclaimed" by Russia or at the very least, turned into a neutral buffer state.
I feel Russia will eventually start demanding Estonia exit NATO and assume neutrality to demonstrate non-hostile intent. If that does not happen, conflict at some level will inevitably follow.
Armchair PhD: "I feel Russia will eventually start demanding Estonia exit NATO." Why they don't demand that Finland or Turkey must exit NATO, or that western countries support to Ukraine must stop? With starting war in Ukraine Russia is not in position to demand anything from anyone during at least next 30 years. Germanies (both of them) didn't demand in 1969 that Poland must exit from Warsaw pact either.
Oh, you feel so? What should we do about your feelings?
lack of friendliness is not culture. We should demand and should set example. Acceding to this is a defeat.
Good luck
That’s not a good idea, if they don’t want to be friendly demanding they be friendly is just going to make them dislike you more.
Demand friendliness??? Best way to alienate everyone against you.
being pragmatic and serious is not lack of friendliness. Estonians are very straightforward and serious. Estonians are not making the false façade. Estonian smiles and is friendly if he/she feels like it. And like it is said, Estonians don't like when moments of silence are artificially filled with blabbering about whatever. So, naturally if you don't know the person, you don't have much to talk with him/her. We are just utterly and completely honest to ourselves and others. So if you don't like such culture, then go be where you feel more comfortable with constant fake smiles and casual empty chit-chat
@@MrJuwarra pragmatic and serious? I’d rather say depressed and cheerless, largely because of lack of sunshine.
imo estonia is closer to romania than finland, mu kallasemaa, mu õnn ja rõõm