My divorce was final in July 2021. I told the lawyer to keep my married name. I didnt want to change it back to my maiden name for many reasons *Embarrassed and shamed I got a divorce. Didn't want to explain to people I got a divorce when they see my name change *All of the people in my workplace and friendships and church know me as Krystal Martin instead of Krystal Jack(maiden name) *Too much hassle changing passport, DL, email address and everything back *I was his first wife and feel like I earned that name after all the pain my ex put me through *Martin sounds better to me than my maiden last name *People would always misspell my maiden last name *People would always think my maiden last name was strange.
I get that about embarrassed shamed and people asking etc but my question is what about no one ever seeing you with "your husband" anyway ??? You maybe dating or having thats interested so wouldn't that look strange? Men will definitely feel like you still want that man once he finds out you ate carrying another mans name that you feel did you wrong or wasnt right for you ?? As a man i would like to understand that line of thinking cause to me if someone i dont want to be with or did me wrong was going by a name at all cost i wouldnt want it. No one can earn a name that was not earned by the person you got it from. Its a family name its not that mans name he gave himself. A last name is only given to symbolize that we are family we are 1! Its a physical/ natural example of what is taking place spiritually... So if thats not whats taking place then having the name is hindering that individual from truly spiritually moving on naturally. (This is mot judgement this is just my thoughts and trying to understand why women REALLY do that)
I got divorced in 2009 and kept my married name, but now that my children are grown I do not want that name anymore. I have filed to go back to my maiden name now, I am a teacher and we are constantly addressed by our last name and I hate it.
So a woman keeps her ex-husband’s name for whatever reason and then later decides she wants to date….. she gets serious with a new man, however, he’s a little uncomfortable understanding why she chose to keep a man’s name she’s no longer with. Yeah, some can say it’s just a name but it’s more than just a name…. That name is connected to a long lineage of people that you are no longer legally tied too but you kept it for the kids….. I think women need to think what’s best for themselves in this moment, especially if they plan to date seriously. Unless you don’t want to be taken seriously because there aren’t too many men walking around wanting to explain to his family and friends why she still sporting another man’s name that ain’t checking for her…. Good luck on this one.
At first I did not want to change my name because of the kids and how they felt about it , but I want no attachment in anyway to this name or this person. The reason one marries, is to become one and taking the other person's name symbolizes this. Once that covenant is gone there is no need to keep anything from that fast mess. I am letting go this bondage name and returning back to my birth name. No more strongholds/attachments in anyway. Everything new.😊
The same process they go through to change it to their married name is the same process to change it back to your maiden name! I was divorced around 11am and everything was changed by 5pm except work email which took a little longer! My kids have their dads name and I have my maiden name works just fine! SN: Always get the name change in the divorce decree so if you decide 5-10 years down the road you’re ready to change it you can without the hassle and cost!
My ex husband stabbed me and I still kept his name. Reason being we married and I made a vow and I didn't break it so why would I be the one to be separate from my children by having a different name when they were created by the commitment We made as husband and wife. I AM STILL A UNIT AND ONE WITH MY CHILDREN AND OUR NAME MAKES US ONE AND I WILL NEVER BREAK THAT BOND.
I'm not divorced, but I never legally took his name. I identify myself and answer to my married name, and my business name is hyphenated. But legally it's too much paperwork to fully change my name and SSN over. However, if I was married to someone whose major brand I helped build, I would keep the name. Tina Turner legally faught to keep her stage name, because she worked hard for and suffered for that name. I would feel the same.
I am in the process of changing my last base back to my maiden name, I learned that whatever last name you have on you is what will be latched to you, and I want my maiden name back which is Reed because my maiden name happens to be great. Though he wasn't perfect, my father was a great man, I didn't realize it at the time because I was bullied so much just for being a Reed but I realize the reeds were successful in many things, the reeds are a family full doctors laywyers and engineers, and chief of policemen, and I want to be a Reed again, I want to be covered by my father. I now realize how special it is to have your maiden name. Your maiden name is your Virginia name, that's what that means. It is very important to be covered by your father, and then later in life when you have found the right man God wants you to be with, then you can change your last name but you can also still keep your maiden name even if you change your last name to your husband's name. You see my ex-husband was abusive and I don't want that last name on me. thankyou. 🥰🙏❤
I want to go back to my maiden name but I don't want to have a different name than my children plus I always think about what if something happens where things get jammed up at a check point or something cause we don't have the same names what I should of did was put my maiden name before my marriage name on the marriage certificate
For people with no kids like me... if it was equally as simple to return to your former maiden name OR your other parent's surname during the divorce process, many more might do it. I feel about equal keeping my soon-to-be ex's name as returning to my long-deceased father's surname. Would love to take my Mom's maiden name, but it's the same as creating a fictitious name. Separate filing ($400 in Florida), fingerprints/background checks, etc. I also think a lot of women during the divorce-counseling process realize the "marrying your father" cycle.
I am with you “it’s scary to remarry why would you want to keep the last name to your ex’s that part of your life is water under the bridge over n done my children don’t care one way or the other 91/2 out of 10 , probably 10 out of 10 thank you ‘ have a blessed day 🙏❤️
hi my name is Sharon and i have a question i have been Married twice but i want to have the same last name as my daughter which is my first husbands last name the question is have you ever heard of someone going back to the married last name without remarrying that person
I've been divorced for 15 years. I wanted to change it during the divorce or immediately after the divorce but my two daughters became upset and wanted our names to be the same. I kept the name and still have it today. But now I am questioning if I should change it, only because my ex-husband called me out of anger about 2 years ago and demanded I change my name because he and his wife don't like me having the name and he said I am an embarrassment and I am shaming his name. I found this very offensive because we were together 26 years and we were married 17 of the 26 years. I don't know what I should do. 😔
I’m sorry you had to experience this. 😔 If your ex husband want you to change the last name, you should. Explain the situation to your daughters as well. Thanks for watching and commenting
You kept your commitment and were the mother God has asked you to be for your daughters. Wear your crown high, you are a daughter of a King the Lord our God. Do not be ashamed for keeping you and your daughters as ONE by keeping your marriage name. If anything you have given honor to his name. Know this!
@@ScaryToRemarry I absolutely disagree. While my choice is to change my name because I want nothing to associate me to my ex, the woman should decide if she wants to keep it or change it. He gave you his last name 17 years ago and cannot take it back even if you are divorced. If the new wife and ex-husband don't like it, too bad. However, if you want to change it, then change it. It took me 3 years to originally change my name. I didn't want to and didn't listen to my gut. I regret that decision, but it was my decision in the end.
I going through a Divorce right now at this time I will like to change for my Maiden name because life goes on.. so if I looking to get married again than I pretty sure my new future husband will Ike to change my name especially if it’s is my Ex! I don’t think a men will feel comfortable of Mary a woman that will like to keep her ex last name so that’s something to think about??
If a woman is serious about moving on by getting married to someone else, wouldn't that send a negative message to the new guy? Especially if they have a child with the x husband and the x husband is always around in the childs life. Like everyday dropping food for a 17 year old, every night. Is that encouraging to the new man?
I don’t understand keeping your exes last name when you didn’t have children together but you had kids from a previous marriage. Why not go back to the last husband’s name!
It's just a name and it's your name that you earned before God in marriage. All that matters is that you move on with your life from the divorce by being happy and living your own life. Im not going thru all that legal documentation and account changes.
My divorce was final in July 2021. I told the lawyer to keep my married name. I didnt want to change it back to my maiden name for many reasons
*Embarrassed and shamed I got a divorce. Didn't want to explain to people I got a divorce when they see my name change
*All of the people in my workplace and friendships and church know me as Krystal Martin instead of Krystal Jack(maiden name)
*Too much hassle changing passport, DL, email address and everything back
*I was his first wife and feel like I earned that name after all the pain my ex put me through
*Martin sounds better to me than my maiden last name
*People would always misspell my maiden last name
*People would always think my maiden last name was strange.
Wow. Thanks for your transparency Krystal. All your points are valid. I believe ultimately it's the woman choice to make the change or not
I get that about embarrassed shamed and people asking etc but my question is what about no one ever seeing you with "your husband" anyway ??? You maybe dating or having thats interested so wouldn't that look strange? Men will definitely feel like you still want that man once he finds out you ate carrying another mans name that you feel did you wrong or wasnt right for you ?? As a man i would like to understand that line of thinking cause to me if someone i dont want to be with or did me wrong was going by a name at all cost i wouldnt want it. No one can earn a name that was not earned by the person you got it from. Its a family name its not that mans name he gave himself. A last name is only given to symbolize that we are family we are 1! Its a physical/ natural example of what is taking place spiritually... So if thats not whats taking place then having the name is hindering that individual from truly spiritually moving on naturally. (This is mot judgement this is just my thoughts and trying to understand why women REALLY do that)
Thank you for sharing this. I understand where you coming from
I got divorced in 2009 and kept my married name, but now that my children are grown I do not want that name anymore. I have filed to go back to my maiden name now, I am a teacher and we are constantly addressed by our last name and I hate it.
@@crappiesniper I definitely feel like a spiritual tie to me. Having someone that is no longer family with my name is making my behind itch.
So a woman keeps her ex-husband’s name for whatever reason and then later decides she wants to date….. she gets serious with a new man, however, he’s a little uncomfortable understanding why she chose to keep a man’s name she’s no longer with. Yeah, some can say it’s just a name but it’s more than just a name…. That name is connected to a long lineage of people that you are no longer legally tied too but you kept it for the kids….. I think women need to think what’s best for themselves in this moment, especially if they plan to date seriously. Unless you don’t want to be taken seriously because there aren’t too many men walking around wanting to explain to his family and friends why she still sporting another man’s name that ain’t checking for her…. Good luck on this one.
I respect your opinion. Thanks for taking time to watch and comment
I agree 100%
Women should not keep their ex husband last name. It’s not yours. It’s his name. Go back to your maiden name please. Thank you.
I respect that
I wouldn't want my ex-wife (If I had one) using my name after she cuts ties with my family.
Understood
At first I did not want to change my name because of the kids and how they felt about it , but I want no attachment in anyway to this name or this person. The reason one marries, is to become one and taking the other person's name symbolizes this. Once that covenant is gone there is no need to keep anything from that fast mess. I am letting go this bondage name and returning back to my birth name. No more strongholds/attachments in anyway. Everything new.😊
Amen! Totally understand. Thanks for watching and commenting
The same process they go through to change it to their married name is the same process to change it back to your maiden name! I was divorced around 11am and everything was changed by 5pm except work email which took a little longer! My kids have their dads name and I have my maiden name works just fine!
SN: Always get the name change in the divorce decree so if you decide 5-10 years down the road you’re ready to change it you can without the hassle and cost!
Thank you for giving the audience some tips Trisha!
Yes ma'am I'm in the process of changing my last name back to my maiden name, and my daughter's have their father's last name as well.
@@aphrahreed5426happy for you.why keep somebody name who no longer loving you like before
My ex husband stabbed me and I still kept his name. Reason being we married and I made a vow and I didn't break it so why would I be the one to be separate from my children by having a different name when they were created by the commitment We made as husband and wife. I AM STILL A UNIT AND ONE WITH MY CHILDREN AND OUR NAME MAKES US ONE AND I WILL NEVER BREAK THAT BOND.
I’m sorry you had such a traumatic experience! Your commitment speaks volumes
@@ScaryToRemarry thank you for your kind words. May God continue to keep us strong as we try to maintain the relationships we have with our love ones.
@@necolekey yes! Stay encouraged
I'm not divorced, but I never legally took his name. I identify myself and answer to my married name, and my business name is hyphenated. But legally it's too much paperwork to fully change my name and SSN over. However, if I was married to someone whose major brand I helped build, I would keep the name. Tina Turner legally faught to keep her stage name, because she worked hard for and suffered for that name. I would feel the same.
Great point!
I am in the process of changing my last base back to my maiden name, I learned that whatever last name you have on you is what will be latched to you, and I want my maiden name back which is Reed because my maiden name happens to be great. Though he wasn't perfect, my father was a great man, I didn't realize it at the time because I was bullied so much just for being a Reed but I realize the reeds were successful in many things, the reeds are a family full doctors laywyers and engineers, and chief of policemen, and I want to be a Reed again, I want to be covered by my father. I now realize how special it is to have your maiden name. Your maiden name is your Virginia name, that's what that means. It is very important to be covered by your father, and then later in life when you have found the right man God wants you to be with, then you can change your last name but you can also still keep your maiden name even if you change your last name to your husband's name. You see my ex-husband was abusive and I don't want that last name on me. thankyou. 🥰🙏❤
Wow! So much truth in this! Thank you for sharing
@@ScaryToRemarry you are welcome
I want to go back to my maiden name but I don't want to have a different name than my children plus I always think about what if something happens where things get jammed up at a check point or something cause we don't have the same names what I should of did was put my maiden name before my marriage name on the marriage certificate
Those are legitimate concerns
For people with no kids like me... if it was equally as simple to return to your former maiden name OR your other parent's surname during the divorce process, many more might do it. I feel about equal keeping my soon-to-be ex's name as returning to my long-deceased father's surname.
Would love to take my Mom's maiden name, but it's the same as creating a fictitious name. Separate filing ($400 in Florida), fingerprints/background checks, etc. I also think a lot of women during the divorce-counseling process realize the "marrying your father" cycle.
That’s an interesting perspective
I am with you “it’s scary to remarry why would you want to keep the last name to your ex’s that part of your life is water under the bridge over n done my children don’t care one way or the other 91/2 out of 10 , probably 10 out of 10 thank you ‘ have a blessed day 🙏❤️
Totally understand! Thank you for watching and commenting!
hi my name is Sharon and i have a question
i have been Married twice but i want to have the same last name as my daughter which is my first husbands last name the question is have you ever heard of someone going back to the married last name without remarrying that person
Yes I’ve heard that before. Nothing wrong with it. Do what’s in your best interest
I've been divorced for 15 years. I wanted to change it during the divorce or immediately after the divorce but my two daughters became upset and wanted our names to be the same. I kept the name and still have it today. But now I am questioning if I should change it, only because my ex-husband called me out of anger about 2 years ago and demanded I change my name because he and his wife don't like me having the name and he said I am an embarrassment and I am shaming his name. I found this very offensive because we were together 26 years and we were married 17 of the 26 years. I don't know what I should do. 😔
I’m sorry you had to experience this. 😔
If your ex husband want you to change the last name, you should. Explain the situation to your daughters as well. Thanks for watching and commenting
You kept your commitment and were the mother God has asked you to be for your daughters. Wear your crown high, you are a daughter of a King the Lord our God. Do not be ashamed for keeping you and your daughters as ONE by keeping your marriage name. If anything you have given honor to his name. Know this!
@@ScaryToRemarry I absolutely disagree. While my choice is to change my name because I want nothing to associate me to my ex, the woman should decide if she wants to keep it or change it. He gave you his last name 17 years ago and cannot take it back even if you are divorced. If the new wife and ex-husband don't like it, too bad. However, if you want to change it, then change it. It took me 3 years to originally change my name. I didn't want to and didn't listen to my gut. I regret that decision, but it was my decision in the end.
@@BeeYouXOXO I totally respect that 💯
@@necolekey amen 🙏🏾
I going through a Divorce right now at this time I will like to change for my Maiden name because life goes on.. so if I looking to get married again than I pretty sure my new future husband will Ike to change my name especially if it’s is my Ex! I don’t think a men will feel comfortable of Mary a woman that will like to keep her ex last name so that’s something to think about??
You are spot on correct! However, I’m sorry you have to experience divorce 😔
@@ScaryToRemarry
Awe thank u me too buts it’s for the best ❤️🩹
@@michicowooten5777 I’ve been there. Divorced after 15 years. Things will work in your favor
@@ScaryToRemarry
Thank u I relied on my Heavenly Father for strength only
If a woman is serious about moving on by getting married to someone else, wouldn't that send a negative message to the new guy? Especially if they have a child with the x husband and the x husband is always around in the childs life. Like everyday dropping food for a 17 year old, every night. Is that encouraging to the new man?
It depends on the man 🤷🏾♂️
Yes
I respect that
My ex wife still has my last name and I am not pleased. We do not have any children together or anything.
@@allblack8148 so she chose to keep it in spite of the divorce? Does she know how you feel about it?
@@ScaryToRemarry she knows that I am displeased with it.
@@allblack8148 that’s got to be tough! What’s the next step moving forward?
@@ScaryToRemarry hoping she remarry soon 🙏🏾
@@allblack8148 understandable
I don’t understand keeping your exes last name when you didn’t have children together but you had kids from a previous marriage. Why not go back to the last husband’s name!
I respect that
It's just a name and it's your name that you earned before God in marriage. All that matters is that you move on with your life from the divorce by being happy and living your own life. Im not going thru all that legal documentation and account changes.
I hear you Danielle. I’ve heard stories of how challenging it is to change back to your maiden name
I guarantee no man will ever marry you again, either.