My sister with mental health problems recently adopted a kitten... She doesn't take care of it because she's too depressed, anxious or her ocd prevents her from doing anything out of her routine. She thinks the kitten can survive on 10 minutes of baby talk. And this has angered me because now I have to love, care for and protect 3 cats I don't want. I take very good care of them and they're given affection, love and attention but also get rhe benefit of me cleaning up after then, washing their plates, feeding them, providing aid for when they're sick or injured etc. My sister has an inability to do what's necessary in the moment and has delayed reaction in emergencies. I shudder to think what would have happened if she had a baby... I'd probably be taking care of the child too and thats a thousand times harder than caring for a cat. I think people need to be honest about their capacity to care for a child. And I'm not referring to post partum depression but their general state of wellbeing and readiness to take care of a child for the next 20 years. I may seem harsh, but if you are struggling already without a child, I don't think you ought to have a child. A child deserves the best chance at life but I think a lot of women don't do the necessary introspection and proper health check before getting pregnant. I had a mentally ill mother and believe me that gets passed on either by nurture or nature. I was spared mental illness because of various factors but my sister was not so lucky. My mother should have never had children. And I'm taking care of my sister who has made my life hell on earth. So think twice because children require so much and if you don't have it in the first place, you can't give what you don't have.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister's situation. You mentioned that mental illness seems to be impacting women in your family. Perhaps you could check with other providers to see if there's a hormonal or other organic basis for the disorders. If so, the appropriate diagnosis and treatment could go a long way toward managing or reversing these problems. You mentioned caring for your sister, which has made your life very difficult, and expressed anger concerning this. I wonder if you are acting as her sole or primary caregiver at this point, and if so, why you are continuing to act in this capacity if it is affecting you this much. While what you're doing appears to be noble and well-intentioned, only you can determine whether the burden is becoming too great for you and whether it should be yours to carry. There are other places where your sister can get help. Is your sister mentally competent to manage her own affairs? A qualified health care provider should make this determination. If necessary, a legal guardian could be appointed for your sister to look out for her and manage her care. Social service agencies can help coordinate a group home or day program placement to better meet her needs, depending on her circumstances. I agree with you that people need to honestly assess their capacity to care for a child; many people have made a conscious decision not to have children for this reason. However, I take exception to your statement "a lot of women don't do the necessary introspection and proper health check before getting pregnant." I wonder why you're placing 100 percent of this burden and responsibility squarely on women, when in actuality, women and men, both, need to carefully consider the potential consequences of their actions before engaging in procreation. Parents should try to be as healthy as possible-physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially-before adding children to the mix. The best parents possess maturity, emotional intelligence, and resiliency and adapt to a plethora of unforeseeable adverse situations in life when they appear. The sad truth is that a lot of men today, as well as women, need serious work in these areas. Based on the information you shared regarding your sister's situation, she may not be fully able to engage in this level of introspection. If she is promiscuous, is anyone having the important conversations with her? If not, why not, and who can talk with her about this? Typically, the only kinds of men who would have sex with a vulnerable adult are either vulnerable themselves, or worse, predators. Someone definitely needs to try to protect her from these men and keep reminding her that she needs to watch out for this. Consulting with a doctor about getting on a good form of birth control that won't aggravate her existing conditions may also be beneficial. But even if she should somehow become pregnant and is not ready to become a mother, the baby could always be put up for adoption by someone who really wants a child but is unable to have one of their own.
Thank you for the reassurance that I made the right decisions.
My sister with mental health problems recently adopted a kitten... She doesn't take care of it because she's too depressed, anxious or her ocd prevents her from doing anything out of her routine. She thinks the kitten can survive on 10 minutes of baby talk. And this has angered me because now I have to love, care for and protect 3 cats I don't want. I take very good care of them and they're given affection, love and attention but also get rhe benefit of me cleaning up after then, washing their plates, feeding them, providing aid for when they're sick or injured etc. My sister has an inability to do what's necessary in the moment and has delayed reaction in emergencies. I shudder to think what would have happened if she had a baby... I'd probably be taking care of the child too and thats a thousand times harder than caring for a cat. I think people need to be honest about their capacity to care for a child. And I'm not referring to post partum depression but their general state of wellbeing and readiness to take care of a child for the next 20 years. I may seem harsh, but if you are struggling already without a child, I don't think you ought to have a child. A child deserves the best chance at life but I think a lot of women don't do the necessary introspection and proper health check before getting pregnant. I had a mentally ill mother and believe me that gets passed on either by nurture or nature. I was spared mental illness because of various factors but my sister was not so lucky. My mother should have never had children. And I'm taking care of my sister who has made my life hell on earth. So think twice because children require so much and if you don't have it in the first place, you can't give what you don't have.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister's situation. You mentioned that mental illness seems to be impacting women in your family. Perhaps you could check with other providers to see if there's a hormonal or other organic basis for the disorders. If so, the appropriate diagnosis and treatment could go a long way toward managing or reversing these problems.
You mentioned caring for your sister, which has made your life very difficult, and expressed anger concerning this. I wonder if you are acting as her sole or primary caregiver at this point, and if so, why you are continuing to act in this capacity if it is affecting you this much. While what you're doing appears to be noble and well-intentioned, only you can determine whether the burden is becoming too great for you and whether it should be yours to carry. There are other places where your sister can get help. Is your sister mentally competent to manage her own affairs? A qualified health care provider should make this determination. If necessary, a legal guardian could be appointed for your sister to look out for her and manage her care. Social service agencies can help coordinate a group home or day program placement to better meet her needs, depending on her circumstances.
I agree with you that people need to honestly assess their capacity to care for a child; many people have made a conscious decision not to have children for this reason. However, I take exception to your statement "a lot of women don't do the necessary introspection and proper health check before getting pregnant." I wonder why you're placing 100 percent of this burden and responsibility squarely on women, when in actuality, women and men, both, need to carefully consider the potential consequences of their actions before engaging in procreation. Parents should try to be as healthy as possible-physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially-before adding children to the mix. The best parents possess maturity, emotional intelligence, and resiliency and adapt to a plethora of unforeseeable adverse situations in life when they appear. The sad truth is that a lot of men today, as well as women, need serious work in these areas.
Based on the information you shared regarding your sister's situation, she may not be fully able to engage in this level of introspection. If she is promiscuous, is anyone having the important conversations with her? If not, why not, and who can talk with her about this? Typically, the only kinds of men who would have sex with a vulnerable adult are either vulnerable themselves, or worse, predators. Someone definitely needs to try to protect her from these men and keep reminding her that she needs to watch out for this. Consulting with a doctor about getting on a good form of birth control that won't aggravate her existing conditions may also be beneficial. But even if she should somehow become pregnant and is not ready to become a mother, the baby could always be put up for adoption by someone who really wants a child but is unable to have one of their own.
Oh that’s sad
Pregnant individual or pregnant women 🧐🧐🧐