My husband came home after getting married with a raging rash in his groin area. He got tested and so did ahe before the marriage. I saw the paperwork, hers was fake. Little did she know I used to work for the facility she went to. Needless to say I NEVER slept with him again. It turned out he had contact dermititis. It all went down hill from there. I eventually asked for a Khula. Just be cautious sisters. My best friend is happily married in Polygyny. It's been 4 years for her. I on the other hand got divorced after 15 years of marriage. I left him and he left her. Thank you for all that you do. .
Your story doesn’t make sense Sister respectfully and I’ll tell you why if you work in the facility then you will know that contact dermatitis is not an STD nor is it an STI contact dermatitis can be caught on the hands normally it’s some sort of allergic reaction it is normal when a man takes another wife that you may have certain issues with your pH balance because everybody’s body is still getting used to each other. But to leave your husband in 15 years because of contact dermatitis is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of especially as you said you worked in a medical field I suffer from allergies and sometimes just put in the wrong cream on my arms could cause me to get contact dermatitis I am a chased Women. What a story you told for what reason I don’t know
It’s not for everyone but everyone want to know about it 🤔if it’s for you that’s great! And if it’s not don’t worry about it. Don’t put people down for something you don’t do. Live and let live. Love all.
It is important to check sexual health before entering these relationships-monogamy or poly. People have acquired STDs, passed infections back and forth (you don’t have to be dirty to get an infection-antibiotics, unbalanced hormones, diet), which can increase with the number of partners some have. These topics should not be wrapped in shade but discussed with sincerity and truth. The Sahaba were not shy to discuss these matters. May Allah bless your families and allow everyone to have excellent health, intentions, and Taqwa.
The Prophet (pbuh) married widows, single mothers and women considered ugly, poor, old, sickly or otherwise undesirable. Who can live up to that? It is an easier sunnah to marry one wife and fulfill one’s obligations, than to marry many and disappoint them all. More than one wife also means more than one father-in-law.
Prove your claim. Where in the authentic sunnah did the Prophet (sws) marry anyone considered ugly, old, sickly, or undesirable? List your sources because there is ample evidence to the contrary. Simply say you are not the man for the job instead of creating fanciful stories to tell yourself. It's much simpler for a man who isn't a good man to stay single because he'll disappoint even only one.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi Polygamy was mandated as a form of welfare. The verse on polygamy also Mentions widows and orphans. For most of our societies, we have passed that stage. Polygamy was a necessary compromise of an earlier age. It has no central place in modern society.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi Sayyidatina ‘Aishah bint Abu Bakr (r.a.) was already a rejected bride, when Sayyidina Jubayr ibn Muth’im (r.a.) called off their engagement at the behest of Muth’im ibn ‘Adi because Sayyidina Abu Bakar ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Utsman asw-Swiddiq (r.a.) and his entire family converted to Islam. What the Quraysh did not want, the Prophet (s.a.w.) stepped in and elevated her status. In Arab culture, a rejected bride would be considered undesirable. The Prophet (s.a.w.) was sent to destroy such taboos.
Feel free to miss us with this conjured up idea that Islam brought polygyny. Polygyny was already practiced and in full effect before the time of the Prophet (sws). Islam simply regulated and restricted it to prevent oppression.
This is your proof on "ugly, old, sickly, and undesirable"? If this is what you have instead of an example on every claim you made, there is no use continuing the discussion. We dont waste time with male feminists who try to push that sick and destructive agenda.
Maybe as a community we could talk about sex more and present a alternative. Because the church doesn't discuss it.. Not in a personal way or opening up too much detail but just general guidelines, common sense. Anyway.. I know that you guys are really changing history and helping to make families better and thrive! What coach nazir teaches me i teach others even though i get persecution.. But i don't care because i am pro moral and i believe in marriage monagmamy or polgyny.. Marriage must be fought for daily... And we must encourage others who fight for marriage publicly like yourselves.. Stay encouraged
Alhamdulillah. Done very mature and straight forward. Ignorant ppl always ask the dumbest questions. May Allah swt reward you and your family for all of your work. Ameen. And I’m loving the workshop .
I can’t believe someone asked this question, unless they are projecting. I’ve never watched these videos wondering what occurs in your bedroom. I watch as I am fascinated at how you , your co-wife and Coach Nazir are able to navigate polygyny and remove the veil of secrecy. Thank you
BV and yeast infections aren’t tied to cleanliness. I think it’s an honest question at times. It’s not about your personal life. People simply ask because you’re discussing this lifestyle.
Thanks for the courage to tackle this topic, when issues are addressed openly, they lose the sting. If anything, monogamy is less cleaner than polygyny as people hide activities in monogamy.
Your mind is already managing the lies about the topic. If you have ex'es, those men had you like they had many others, so you are sharing the same men with other women just at different intervals. the only difference is in Polygyny men get to honor and keep the women they sleep with you.
@@controlmore8618so you are saying 99% of men are honest or 1% are honest...how many married men are not having affairs for exmaple..give us a number..do you think yours has no side chick?
I would tell them exactly what they wanna hear 😂… but your answer was beautiful, respectful and classy. I really watch you all videos and love what you all are doing to educate our PPL. You have a beautiful family BTW. Stay blessed!❤
Personally am interested in following the videos you post, they are educational and provide useful information. The reality of polygamy exists, speaking here and now, as such it must be addressed, discussed and shared with those interested in learning more. Differently, there is also another widespread but very dangerous reality, for example, millions of married men with families use to go to sex workers with a high risk of sexually transmitted diseases, this reality is very widespread in every corner of the world . Healthy polygamy is much better than the one mentioned above and for many other reasons. Polygamy should not be associated only with sex but goes beyond ...
Thanks for your vid. I'm not Muslim but i am interested in this practice,i am married I'm 19 years old and my husband is 34,I have no friends and am being very precautious of who I let be around me as a friend because one day I would love to meet another lady and potentially add her to our relationship, our energy as woman is very lovely and I would love to share that with another woman and it would be beneficial to live with my own bestfriend for many reasons including when i have babies I would love to have some help and vice versa. As long as she is spiritually strong like me I would love to find another woman to be close with and my husband says he doesn't mind. It's also very natural for woman to have some sort of attraction to other woman even on a miniscule scale because we are very beautiful people internally and externally for those of us who take care of ourselves
I really fill like outstanding personal relationships doesn't owe us anything. Just by you guys just coming on here to talk about sex and to give alittle insight is a blessing. You guys are really laying a solid foundation that cannot be erased. Shout out to all the mature conversationalist on this one! Soap and water will clean you "down their" it's just common sense. But some people are just so immature to even consider polgyny. Could you make a video on all the courses that you spent 1,000s of dollars on?? Im curious to know. Again thank you for the transparency and you don't owe us anything.. But thanks for having the conversation at all.. Bless yaw be safe... Peace
Assalamualaikum Sister Fatima! THANK YOU for sharing your wisdom and your heart. I've never met you but you're my personal mentor in my head lol!.... I'm an initial wife as well and a relatively new Muslima; my husband and I have discussed the possibility of polyngy in the FAR future (lol)... My biggest fear is that I won't want him to touch me if he gets another wife and I'll struggle with intimacy of all forms for some time after. My question is, did you experience that and if so, how long did it take you to overcome it and how did you overcome it?....I know the pretty answer is that we fear Allah so we'll perform our "wifely duties" to avoid punishment from Allah, but I'm human and it's a legitimate fear that I have..... I understand polyngy and I've encouraged my husband to feel free to have another wife when he feels he's ready because I don't want him to be unfulfilled but the loss of desire for him post polygny scares me. Blessings to you sister!🤲🏿
@@ReinaAfricana I'm willing to do it but I just don't know if I'll be successful at it. My heart and intentions are pure but that doesn't make it easier to handle. I pray for help if/when the issue arises
There is no hygiene issues. Typical way people live is husband alternates with his wifes for a night or few nights at a time. Of nobody is having sex every day. More likely 2 times a week.
Could you please address the subject of spouses having sti checks done before marriage? Also, For some reason people think this doesn’t need to be done if one or both parties are (or have claimed) to be virgins. And that it is an insult to ask a virgin to have checks done before marriage. Please clarify the importance of this with marriage and especially in polygyny.
Among the Shia Khoja people in Pakistan and North Africa etc they have mandatory checking of educational and income credentials and background checks for previous marriage etc. This is performed by the Khoja Jamat office for both parties. Mandatory health checkups are the norm. Counseling of both sets of parents as well as to be spouses is also done. They do not do the Nikaha without this not issue Nikaha certificates without this.
Thank you for addressing this. As a man, I'm interested in ways to approach this conversation with others. I don't come here to criticize or shade, I come here for education. I'd like to know best practices for broaching this topic with women that may be hesitant about polygyny, in an effort to quell their anxieties. Please do another video.
I’m Muslim, but I couldn’t accept and will never accept polygyny for myself. My husband and I are monogamous. Polygyny isn’t compulsory and we as women have rights and can reject such a marriage.
A Muslim is not supposed to say she can’t and will never accept polygamy just like that. At least respect Allah and his book and know how you expressed your feelings in a respectful way. It’s like you are rejecting the verses of the Quran that allows polygamy.
It is your right not to want it.As far as I am concerned I am not into it, but don't forget that women that are married too as second or third wives ...are women like you who want a husband,it means the same good thing you want: a husband and a family.Of course most men who practice it shouldn't because they can't be fair or can't take care of the women and children and women too have a tendency from what I have seen to create sometimes a toxic environment and divide the family as a result of their competition and jealousy specially when the husband isn't fair or is weak.But I don't see anything wrong with it when a man can take of different women, be available for the children and take care of his family .Now I think when it comes to the laws in US and most western countries it is illegal even though they have no problem when a man having a wife and a or multiple mistress(es).If it was wrong our Prophet wouldn't have practice it.
love your channel. look straight ahead not to the side. thank you for the information. entering one soon so this is important. can you talk about jealously of a first wife
And shame on people who ask folks personal questions about their married sexual life. That is rude and none of anyone’s business. It isn’t even permissible to discuss what you do in the bedroom. Have some respect please, and never look down on people. You may not be aware of what your man/woman is doing, your mother/did, or your grandmother/PopPop did.
Wow that was very personal of people to ask. I have Muslim relatives. Many assume that every Muslim man has multiple wives. Some do and some don't. Just ignore those comments and enjoy your family.
Coach fatima may i ask, can you give advice about 20 y o girl who been in marriage for one and half year and cant accept her husband polygyny. Should she stay or leave
@@hadassahkefa9485 cause she doesnt wanna share a husband love time and sex. And she stated since early in the marriage that she dont want to have a polygamist husband
@@somebodythatiusedknow4090 if she loves her husband then she stays with him if she cant then she leaves but its her loss because husband didnt want her to leave its her fault.
@@rabbi619 or, she has the freedom to decide whether she can tolerate this marriage especially as she discussed with her husband prior to marrying. She can decide the pros and cons and everyone can come to an appropriate decision in sha Allah and what you will choose might not be what someone else chooses.
Hi sister from your perspective do you think it's better for me to tell women that I'm planning to have 4 wives like at the engagement time ? After having her as a fiancee or even later? Personally I would like to tell them before marriage but I would like to hear what do you prefer
If haven't married any of them, please be upfront about your plan. If you can date them at once and do your best to make sure they become friends with each other, then make sure you keep their bond strong. It will give you a lot of peace.
@@briantumwijukyenichanor1764 yes, I see that as the best way to do it, thanks for your advice, May Allah guide us to the straight path and keep us on it
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THRUSH AND BV NOTHING TO DO WITH HYGIENE NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING PROMISCUOUS CAN BE PASSED FROM PERSON TO PERSON UNTREATED CAN CAUSE FERTILITY PROBLEMS
@@Amatullah.574 THIS IS VERY TRUE But Alhamdulillah its my own germs and body Im not basing my health on how someone else lives Does the wife need to tell her husband and co wives Do we all need to be treated at the same time.
I've always thought Polygamy should be legal and accepted everywhere. Certainly if gay marriage is this should be also accepted. Of course you wouldn't get an STD if all partners are only with each other.
Kudos to this Very Intelligent Sister who is very sincere and real.. Hats off to her and her wisdom. I am in a very happy polygamous marriage with four Strong sisters from Lagos , Nigeria and we are strong because each co-wife I spend intimate time with is spent individually and not collectively. Understand this audience. No woman wants another female in the room while she has her legs up in the air regardless of where she is from z United States or Lagos , Nigeria.Private time is private time. What I whisper in your ear is for your ears only.Promises kept are respected while promises broken are never forgotten. Prophet Muhammad ( pbuh) was given the Word by The Angel Jabril and had many wives.Polygamy is a wonderful blessing if practiced the right way.Each co-wife should enjoy bountiful blessings from her husband which is why individual wealth is very important. Like the old saying says romance without finance there’s no chance. and had many wives
We are in Somaliland society meeting problems with bacteria from what we calling ""pharaonien cutting",even girls a innocent..So man's must be careful too
Good question, I remember asking a similar question when I was Christian. We say 'may peace be upon him and/or them', with respect to all of the Prophets and Messengers sent by God as a show of respect, honor and source blessings for ourselves because it's a good deed to do so. It is also a reminder that no human is to be elevated too high or be equated with God. He, the final Messenger and Prophet (sws) instructed us not to excessively praise him like the Christians did Prophet 'Eesa aka Jesus (may peace be upon him) which eventually led to them worshipping him which is a great crime. All of creation is subject to Allah who is the All Mighty, The Judge, The Loving, The Forgiving and all submit to Allah willingly or unwillingly.
Peace. And yep! I divorced in govt so he can do what he wants... And now trying to explain to the shared daughter who is now 24 and wants to get married. Difficult conversation! Nope, you must be honest.
I feel this kind of pure relationship, marriage is a cleaner environment sexually then the average Joe going about sleeping with multiple partners. This is way cleaner.
Asalam alaikum coach Fatima,thanks for all what you do and your team too.Pls kindly give a response to this or a video on it will appreciated. A monogamous home that have been battling with infection fot any years and both parties have treated and treated but to know avail which has caused the wife not to give birth,can such man take a second queen with such situation???....remember they haven't been cured yet but the man insist in taking another queen.Thanks so much and anticipating a reply.My first time of sending a message.
Es Salamu Walaikum, if someone wants to call you a baby mama, please refer them to me, I got you. Especially blk folk who claim they are the original people, then they should know this was a common form of marriages.
👏👏👏 Loved it! Well answered in such a professional and educated way and such CLASS. I don't think I would've been that eloquent if I encountered that type of question, like SubhanaAllah that question was so *dumb*
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshihow can i have two wives iam a very sexually active person but i afraid zina and want to get married but here in India not a single muslima want to share their husband iam confused help me
Your statement is a bit confusing. Are you married? If not, what do you mean by very sexually active? It sounds like you're a very wexually active single woman from your comment and if that is the case, what self-respecting man or woman would want someone like that? Perhaps you can clarify your statement or use Google translate if English isn't your first language.
❤😂It’s not their business. We should all be so blessed to have a fulfilled man that holds it down and a best friend too. You explained this so perfectly. Allahu Akbar Assalaamu Alaiykum dear sister ❤
How should I as a non Muslim find another potential wife? My current one and I have talked and are open to it. But I would not only have to find someone willing and in my age range but clean and willing to worship the most high.
Watch Coach Nazir's playlist where he discusses this or in the book where he goes into detail. Short answer, become more attractive by raising your standards and noticeably being more than the average man. This should be visible to those in your respective community. There is no 'place' women open to polygyny congregate. If there was, can you imagine the number of predators and pick up artists that would swarm?!
Keep in mind that many people also convert to Islam after living a non-Muslim lifestyle. Similarly, some people may have returned to practicing a moral lifestyle after not doing so as well.
Thank you so much for this video gorgeous so much knowledge and facts said. It is no one’s business to ask how someone’s sex life is. Why ask such an inappropriate question? I am in a Polygynous relationship and I was asked this very weird question at a Dennis, she was the waitress! Not professional at all. She didn’t stop asking when I kept repeating that is appropriate and I’m uncomfortable. Looked like she was very curious but there is something called privacy, boundaries, and respect! I really appreciate your video!☺️
I do have 2 questions for you love, I trust you and love the dynamic you have with your sister wife and your husband. I would love your guidance! My first question would be: How do I come to accept the second wife receiving sex? I am having a hard time with this and get sad when I think about it. She entered our family almost 6 months ago. My second question is: How do I stop a person (friend or stranger) from asking how is the sex in a polygynous relationship? To me It’s weird and I would like to let them know that’s wrong, inappropriate and discontinue the conversation after the question is asked in a respectful & communicative manner. Thank you so much! I can’t wait for your next video💜🌺
Poly is not for everybody and if you are a man doing it u have to be a leader and not a lyer u cant show favoritism either ... exodus 21 10 speaks about that... Make sure u have women that understand your reasons to be poly.. Its a lot of men giving monagmy and polygamy a bad name
You need to educate your self on men effecting a women’s ph balance by just mixing another girls fluids with another girls. BA isn’t an sti by the way you can get it from your partner having multiple partners. So many women who go through that so I don’t know.
do you think in Islam. in modern muslim polygammy family should required a different houses between wives. May we gather them in a single one house..........
To further expand on your points sis people should know us Muslims are as clean as it gets. We wash our parts with water each time we use the washroom. We take a full body shower after intercourse with our spouses. There's nothing nasty about it! We are clean as clean can be alhamdulillah
Some men in the UK have co wives that are not Muslim then the lady is not washing BV and thrush is not connected to hygiene so you could be as clean as you want you still may get BV and thrush and it is possible for your spouse to get that from his wife and pass it to you and sadly if the woman is unaware of her body and doesn’t treat herself she will keep passing it to you and even more sad than that BV and thrush if untreated for a long time can affect your fertility. Unless your husband washes his mouth every time before he kisses you her saliva is in his mouth and science also shows that somebody else’s saliva stays in the mouth for over two weeks so even with brushing and cleanliness there’s still some bacteria and body fluids being shared. I think people should just be honest and tell Women that you just have to deal with it these are things that you have to deal with it’s not possible your husband inserting himself in another woman is not going to cause you any changes in your pH balance. And I know it’s not in this comment thread that someone said it but I’ll still add it somebody made a statement about is it disrespectful to ask a virgin to have an STI test again I’m in the UK I’m a revert I had non-Muslim friends growing up and they were doing a lot of things that I wasn’t doing and when they got married they made their husband believe they were virgins. If I now marry somebody who believed the wife was a virgin and that person was not a virgin and had an STD and I now put myself in an unsafe position because he believed his wife when they got married it’s a lot of politics to get into How can a woman guarantee that the co-wife does not have boyfriends and put herself at risk that’s putting her husband and co-wife at risk My ex husbands ex-wife had a child for another man while they were married how can I guarantee that I won’t have a co wife who behaves in the same manner and puts me at risk And then the more women he collects the more women I have to worry about how they behave and how possibly God this thing affects me would my husband feel offended if I was to go to the clinic every six months to ensure that I was safe
Polygyny is far cleaner than monogamy. Because of competition all the wives take good care of their bodies to attract their husband unlike monogamy where a wife can dress anyhow
You clearly don't know how the female body works. Women naturally have different bacteria and swapping between them will cause them to have an infection.
@@evangelistfrancispeprahtv1904 Since I've been living in a woman's body since... birth... I'm sure you absolutely don't know more about the female body.
My husband came home after getting married with a raging rash in his groin area. He got tested and so did ahe before the marriage. I saw the paperwork, hers was fake. Little did she know I used to work for the facility she went to. Needless to say I NEVER slept with him again. It turned out he had contact dermititis. It all went down hill from there. I eventually asked for a Khula. Just be cautious sisters. My best friend is happily married in Polygyny. It's been 4 years for her. I on the other hand got divorced after 15 years of marriage. I left him and he left her. Thank you for all that you do.
.
Have you been married to another man since then or still single ?
@@abdulgafaribrahim8292not yet, I will eventually.
Your story doesn’t make sense Sister respectfully and I’ll tell you why if you work in the facility then you will know that contact dermatitis is not an STD nor is it an STI contact dermatitis can be caught on the hands normally it’s some sort of allergic reaction it is normal when a man takes another wife that you may have certain issues with your pH balance because everybody’s body is still getting used to each other.
But to leave your husband in 15 years because of contact dermatitis is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of especially as you said you worked in a medical field I suffer from allergies and sometimes just put in the wrong cream on my arms could cause me to get contact dermatitis I am a chased Women.
What a story you told for what reason I don’t know
It’s not for everyone but everyone want to know about it 🤔if it’s for you that’s great! And if it’s not don’t worry about it. Don’t put people down for something you don’t do. Live and let live. Love all.
It is important to check sexual health before entering these relationships-monogamy or poly. People have acquired STDs, passed infections back and forth (you don’t have to be dirty to get an infection-antibiotics, unbalanced hormones, diet), which can increase with the number of partners some have. These topics should not be wrapped in shade but discussed with sincerity and truth. The Sahaba were not shy to discuss these matters. May Allah bless your families and allow everyone to have excellent health, intentions, and Taqwa.
That's anybody so what's your real point?
Well said. Clean relationships don't have to worry about unclean activity...
You look absolutely gorgeous! Love your headscarf with the yellow/blue. Really expressive and beautfiful!
I loooove her attitude she's real and to the point and on point
The Prophet (pbuh) married widows, single mothers and women considered ugly, poor, old, sickly or otherwise undesirable. Who can live up to that? It is an easier sunnah to marry one wife and fulfill one’s obligations, than to marry many and disappoint them all. More than one wife also means more than one father-in-law.
Prove your claim. Where in the authentic sunnah did the Prophet (sws) marry anyone considered ugly, old, sickly, or undesirable? List your sources because there is ample evidence to the contrary.
Simply say you are not the man for the job instead of creating fanciful stories to tell yourself. It's much simpler for a man who isn't a good man to stay single because he'll disappoint even only one.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi Polygamy was mandated as a form of welfare. The verse on polygamy also Mentions widows and orphans. For most of our societies, we have passed that stage. Polygamy was a necessary compromise of an earlier age. It has no central place in modern society.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi Sayyidatina ‘Aishah bint Abu Bakr (r.a.) was already a rejected bride, when Sayyidina Jubayr ibn Muth’im (r.a.) called off their engagement at the behest of Muth’im ibn ‘Adi because Sayyidina Abu Bakar ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Utsman asw-Swiddiq (r.a.) and his entire family converted to Islam. What the Quraysh did not want, the Prophet (s.a.w.) stepped in and elevated her status. In Arab culture, a rejected bride would be considered undesirable. The Prophet (s.a.w.) was sent to destroy such taboos.
Feel free to miss us with this conjured up idea that Islam brought polygyny. Polygyny was already practiced and in full effect before the time of the Prophet (sws).
Islam simply regulated and restricted it to prevent oppression.
This is your proof on "ugly, old, sickly, and undesirable"? If this is what you have instead of an example on every claim you made, there is no use continuing the discussion.
We dont waste time with male feminists who try to push that sick and destructive agenda.
Maybe as a community we could talk about sex more and present a alternative. Because the church doesn't discuss it.. Not in a personal way or opening up too much detail but just general guidelines, common sense. Anyway.. I know that you guys are really changing history and helping to make families better and thrive! What coach nazir teaches me i teach others even though i get persecution.. But i don't care because i am pro moral and i believe in marriage monagmamy or polgyny.. Marriage must be fought for daily... And we must encourage others who fight for marriage publicly like yourselves.. Stay encouraged
Church?? I thought they were muslims?
@@zinebelansari7851 they are Muslims but the commenter seems to be Christian.
@dopelaw can we connect? I think the same way too. Churches need to face the reality.
Alhamdulillah. Done very mature and straight forward. Ignorant ppl always ask the dumbest questions. May Allah swt reward you and your family for all of your work. Ameen. And I’m loving the workshop .
You people are the most amazing in this country. I'm very impressed.
I can’t believe someone asked this question, unless they are projecting. I’ve never watched these videos wondering what occurs in your bedroom. I watch as I am fascinated at how you , your co-wife and Coach Nazir are able to navigate polygyny and remove the veil of secrecy. Thank you
BV and yeast infections aren’t tied to cleanliness. I think it’s an honest question at times. It’s not about your personal life. People simply ask because you’re discussing this lifestyle.
yes they are tied to cleanliness
@@truthdude8849 no they aren’t.
@@truthdude8849ask an doctor.
@@shelwhitfield1905if not then how would polygyny make it easier to get?
@@nd9834 because vaginas have their own flora. Mixing them can cause issues for women.
Thanks for the courage to tackle this topic, when issues are addressed openly, they lose the sting. If anything, monogamy is less cleaner than polygyny as people hide activities in monogamy.
Polygyny is not for all Muslim women and not wanting it doesn't make you an unbeliever
Is there someone who said it did or is that an internal conversation you're having with yourself?
I can't handle. My mind can't manage this no matter how mature I get. I would rather be a single Mom. It's beyond me.
Stop it
Don't worry. You are the only sane one here😂
Your mind is already managing the lies about the topic. If you have ex'es, those men had you like they had many others, so you are sharing the same men with other women just at different intervals. the only difference is in Polygyny men get to honor and keep the women they sleep with you.
Exactly. When we get divorced n marry someone else noone talk abt feeling disgusted@@briantumwijukyenichanor1764
@@controlmore8618so you are saying 99% of men are honest or 1% are honest...how many married men are not having affairs for exmaple..give us a number..do you think yours has no side chick?
I would tell them exactly what they wanna hear 😂… but your answer was beautiful, respectful and classy. I really watch you all videos and love what you all are doing to educate our PPL. You have a beautiful family BTW. Stay blessed!❤
Personally am interested in following the videos you post, they are educational and provide useful information. The reality of polygamy exists, speaking here and now, as such it must be addressed, discussed and shared with those interested in learning more. Differently, there is also another widespread but very dangerous reality, for example, millions of married men with families use to go to sex workers with a high risk of sexually transmitted diseases, this reality is very widespread in every corner of the world . Healthy polygamy is much better than the one mentioned above and for many other reasons. Polygamy should not be associated only with sex but goes beyond ...
Thanks for your vid. I'm not Muslim but i am interested in this practice,i am married I'm 19 years old and my husband is 34,I have no friends and am being very precautious of who I let be around me as a friend because one day I would love to meet another lady and potentially add her to our relationship, our energy as woman is very lovely and I would love to share that with another woman and it would be beneficial to live with my own bestfriend for many reasons including when i have babies I would love to have some help and vice versa. As long as she is spiritually strong like me I would love to find another woman to be close with and my husband says he doesn't mind. It's also very natural for woman to have some sort of attraction to other woman even on a miniscule scale because we are very beautiful people internally and externally for those of us who take care of ourselves
I really fill like outstanding personal relationships doesn't owe us anything. Just by you guys just coming on here to talk about sex and to give alittle insight is a blessing. You guys are really laying a solid foundation that cannot be erased. Shout out to all the mature conversationalist on this one! Soap and water will clean you "down their" it's just common sense. But some people are just so immature to even consider polgyny. Could you make a video on all the courses that you spent 1,000s of dollars on?? Im curious to know. Again thank you for the transparency and you don't owe us anything.. But thanks for having the conversation at all.. Bless yaw be safe... Peace
Assalamualaikum Sister Fatima! THANK YOU for sharing your wisdom and your heart. I've never met you but you're my personal mentor in my head lol!.... I'm an initial wife as well and a relatively new Muslima; my husband and I have discussed the possibility of polyngy in the FAR future (lol)... My biggest fear is that I won't want him to touch me if he gets another wife and I'll struggle with intimacy of all forms for some time after. My question is, did you experience that and if so, how long did it take you to overcome it and how did you overcome it?....I know the pretty answer is that we fear Allah so we'll perform our "wifely duties" to avoid punishment from Allah, but I'm human and it's a legitimate fear that I have.....
I understand polyngy and I've encouraged my husband to feel free to have another wife when he feels he's ready because I don't want him to be unfulfilled but the loss of desire for him post polygny scares me.
Blessings to you sister!🤲🏿
I couldn't do it either. My family comes from multiple religious backgrounds. My hubby only wants me and no other wife. It depends on the individual.
@@ReinaAfricana I'm willing to do it but I just don't know if I'll be successful at it. My heart and intentions are pure but that doesn't make it easier to handle. I pray for help if/when the issue arises
There is no hygiene issues. Typical way people live is husband alternates with his wifes for a night or few nights at a time. Of nobody is having sex every day. More likely 2 times a week.
As a cowife, how do u manage your emotion regarding your husband being with your Co-wife?
No choice! What to do !
Just go for 3 s*me…
Could you please address the subject of spouses having sti checks done before marriage? Also, For some reason people think this doesn’t need to be done if one or both parties are (or have claimed) to be virgins. And that it is an insult to ask a virgin to have checks done before marriage. Please clarify the importance of this with marriage and especially in polygyny.
Among the Shia Khoja people in Pakistan and North Africa etc they have mandatory checking of educational and income credentials and background checks for previous marriage etc. This is performed by the Khoja Jamat office for both parties. Mandatory health checkups are the norm.
Counseling of both sets of parents as well as to be spouses is also done. They do not do the Nikaha without this not issue Nikaha certificates without this.
Masha Allah, God bless you all for your effort in shedding light on very sensitive issues in relationships
Y’all are winners. Courageous winners. Saabiqun even. Mabruk!!
My question is is everyone going to have this mindset? What if your co-wife doesn’t have this mindset?
Then she wouldn’t be a co-wife.
Thank you for addressing this. As a man, I'm interested in ways to approach this conversation with others.
I don't come here to criticize or shade, I come here for education.
I'd like to know best practices for broaching this topic with women that may be hesitant about polygyny, in an effort to quell their anxieties.
Please do another video.
I’m Muslim, but I couldn’t accept and will never accept polygyny for myself. My husband and I are monogamous. Polygyny isn’t compulsory and we as women have rights and can reject such a marriage.
Of course no body must oblige women to accept polyginie but please respect décision of other's womens who accept
Amen!! She needs to follow the outline of the scripture (Jesus Christ)
A Muslim is not supposed to say she can’t and will never accept polygamy just like that. At least respect Allah and his book and know how you expressed your feelings in a respectful way.
It’s like you are rejecting the verses of the Quran that allows polygamy.
Sister you're husband is only for you
It is your right not to want it.As far as I am concerned I am not into it, but don't forget that women that are married too as second or third wives ...are women like you who want a husband,it means the same good thing you want: a husband and a family.Of course most men who practice it shouldn't because they can't be fair or can't take care of the women and children and women too have a tendency from what I have seen to create sometimes a toxic environment and divide the family as a result of their competition and jealousy specially when the husband isn't fair or is weak.But I don't see anything wrong with it when a man can take of different women, be available for the children and take care of his family .Now I think when it comes to the laws in US and most western countries it is illegal even though they have no problem when a man having a wife and a or multiple mistress(es).If it was wrong our Prophet wouldn't have practice it.
Preach Sister!!! Mashallah! Bless your family
Oh wow , I’ve never seen this discussed
love your channel. look straight ahead not to the side. thank you for the information. entering one soon so this is important. can you talk about jealously of a first wife
And shame on people who ask folks personal questions about their married sexual life. That is rude and none of anyone’s business. It isn’t even permissible to discuss what you do in the bedroom. Have some respect please, and never look down on people. You may not be aware of what your man/woman is doing, your mother/did, or your grandmother/PopPop did.
Wow that was very personal of people to ask. I have Muslim relatives. Many assume that every Muslim man has multiple wives. Some do and some don't. Just ignore those comments and enjoy your family.
Thank you for the video.
JAZAKALLAH KHYRUN!!!!
Coach fatima may i ask, can you give advice about 20 y o girl who been in marriage for one and half year and cant accept her husband polygyny. Should she stay or leave
Why can’t she accept polygyny? If I may ask
@@hadassahkefa9485 cause she doesnt wanna share a husband love time and sex. And she stated since early in the marriage that she dont want to have a polygamist husband
@@somebodythatiusedknow4090 if she loves her husband then she stays with him if she cant then she leaves but its her loss because husband didnt want her to leave its her fault.
@@rabbi619 or, she has the freedom to decide whether she can tolerate this marriage especially as she discussed with her husband prior to marrying. She can decide the pros and cons and everyone can come to an appropriate decision in sha Allah and what you will choose might not be what someone else chooses.
@@oddi-trea6099 Maybe you should marry her.
Very well spoken
Hi sister from your perspective do you think it's better for me to tell women that I'm planning to have 4 wives like at the engagement time ? After having her as a fiancee or even later? Personally I would like to tell them before marriage but I would like to hear what do you prefer
You should tell them before hand so that they don't invest their precious youth and fertility on a situation that they will not want to stay in.
@@yasmeenah.b thanks
If haven't married any of them, please be upfront about your plan. If you can date them at once and do your best to make sure they become friends with each other, then make sure you keep their bond strong. It will give you a lot of peace.
@@briantumwijukyenichanor1764 yes, I see that as the best way to do it, thanks for your advice, May Allah guide us to the straight path and keep us on it
Coach Nazir “coached you well”
“I’m gonna go there as I always do “ lol you did not sugar code anything 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THRUSH AND BV
NOTHING TO DO WITH HYGIENE
NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING PROMISCUOUS
CAN BE PASSED FROM PERSON TO PERSON
UNTREATED CAN CAUSE FERTILITY PROBLEMS
You can have that in monogamy.
@@Amatullah.574 THIS IS VERY TRUE
But Alhamdulillah its my own germs and body
Im not basing my health on how someone else lives
Does the wife need to tell her husband and co wives
Do we all need to be treated at the same time.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for answering your question so modestly and respectfully
I've always thought Polygamy should be legal and accepted everywhere. Certainly if gay marriage is this should be also accepted. Of course you wouldn't get an STD if all partners are only with each other.
She said I do not invite everybody in my bedroom ***REALLY***
Kudos to this Very Intelligent Sister who is very sincere and real.. Hats off to her and her wisdom. I am in a very happy polygamous marriage with four Strong sisters from Lagos , Nigeria and we are strong because each co-wife I spend intimate time with is spent individually and not collectively. Understand this audience. No woman wants another female in the room while she has her legs up in the air regardless of where she is from z United States or Lagos , Nigeria.Private time is private time. What I whisper in your ear is for your ears only.Promises kept are respected while promises broken are never forgotten. Prophet Muhammad ( pbuh)
was given the Word by The Angel Jabril
and had many wives.Polygamy is a wonderful blessing if practiced the right way.Each co-wife should enjoy bountiful blessings from her husband which is why individual wealth is very important. Like the old saying says romance without finance there’s no chance.
and had many wives
MashaAllah just saw this video now. Excellent well said. Absolutely 💯
I love polygamous marriage and i m searching for second wife
Okay then....moving on.
We are in Somaliland society meeting problems with bacteria from what we calling ""pharaonien cutting",even girls a innocent..So man's must be careful too
Why you have to say peace be upon him after saying Mugamed if he is in heaven? Is it necessary?
Good question, I remember asking a similar question when I was Christian.
We say 'may peace be upon him and/or them', with respect to all of the Prophets and Messengers sent by God as a show of respect, honor and source blessings for ourselves because it's a good deed to do so.
It is also a reminder that no human is to be elevated too high or be equated with God. He, the final Messenger and Prophet (sws) instructed us not to excessively praise him like the Christians did Prophet 'Eesa aka Jesus (may peace be upon him) which eventually led to them worshipping him which is a great crime.
All of creation is subject to Allah who is the All Mighty, The Judge, The Loving, The Forgiving and all submit to Allah willingly or unwillingly.
Peace. And yep! I divorced in govt so he can do what he wants... And now trying to explain to the shared daughter who is now 24 and wants to get married. Difficult conversation! Nope, you must be honest.
People need to fear Allah . It’s nobody business what goes on in someone bedroom
Clearly you failed to watch the video, SMH. Why comment?
Well, that's wrong. There's boundaries and we need to remind ppl. These guys ain't Muslims anyways
@@TheOrganics01 who ain't Muslim?
@@TheOrganics01stop it
Question isn’t your guys ph balances all over the place… that gives you bacterial infections. And can cause an odor…🥴 multiple partners do that.
You do know that happens in monogamous marriages right??
💒💒💒 love is life
Alhamdulillah for Islam. ❤
If u are already married i dont recommend it it can cause problems in your marriage
I feel this kind of pure relationship, marriage is a cleaner environment sexually then the average Joe going about sleeping with multiple partners. This is way cleaner.
Asalam alaikum coach Fatima,thanks for all what you do and your team too.Pls kindly give a response to this or a video on it will appreciated. A monogamous home that have been battling with infection fot any years and both parties have treated and treated but to know avail which has caused the wife not to give birth,can such man take a second queen with such situation???....remember they haven't been cured yet but the man insist in taking another queen.Thanks so much and anticipating a reply.My first time of sending a message.
Coach fatima, I got one word to describe you.. CLASS. I love that about you. May Allah bless your family.
Very true sister bless you me and my husband are Polly we are very cautious about who we invite
Es Salamu Walaikum, if someone wants to call you a baby mama, please refer them to me, I got you. Especially blk folk who claim they are the original people, then they should know this was a common form of marriages.
👏👏👏 Loved it! Well answered in such a professional and educated way and such CLASS. I don't think I would've been that eloquent if I encountered that type of question, like SubhanaAllah that question was so *dumb*
Atleast we have some muslims who understand what islams about . Jazakallah sis.
Do u guys live all together under 1 roof ?
Mashallah sister
No we do not, we have separate homes in very close proximity.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshihow can i have two wives iam a very sexually active person but i afraid zina and want to get married but here in India not a single muslima want to share their husband iam confused help me
Your statement is a bit confusing. Are you married? If not, what do you mean by very sexually active?
It sounds like you're a very wexually active single woman from your comment and if that is the case, what self-respecting man or woman would want someone like that?
Perhaps you can clarify your statement or use Google translate if English isn't your first language.
@@comedyalbums7202How will u manage your expenses..bro in india muslim are mostly living only ok lifestyle
May Allah continue to bless you all,
What is *HARAM* for sex in islam?
As a Christian, after watching this, I wanna be a muslim now.
You are absolutely welcome to. It will be the best decision of your life, the tranquility you will experience is unparalleled.
Alhamduli’lah
Thanks from Chicago
This is not for weak women. It takes a strong minded person to understand
Mashallah Ma’am
❤️❤️which country are you
We are from America.
Excellent presentation
❤😂It’s not their business. We should all be so blessed to have a fulfilled man that holds it down and a best friend too. You explained this so perfectly.
Allahu Akbar
Assalaamu Alaiykum dear sister ❤
How kids do yell fights 😐 😑
This vid will most likely hit 10k views in a week
For my wife. Where do you get your beautiful apparel from so she can wear it to ?
Well said.
Funny, I found this Christian Torah group on TH-cam that teavhes and practices polygyny. He has 2 wives.
women just say words.
How should I as a non Muslim find another potential wife? My current one and I have talked and are open to it. But I would not only have to find someone willing and in my age range but clean and willing to worship the most high.
Ask women who are open to idea of polygamy/polyamory.
Watch Coach Nazir's playlist where he discusses this or in the book where he goes into detail.
Short answer, become more attractive by raising your standards and noticeably being more than the average man. This should be visible to those in your respective community.
There is no 'place' women open to polygyny congregate. If there was, can you imagine the number of predators and pick up artists that would swarm?!
Since devout Muslims wait until marriage to have sex, even in a polygynous marriage there should be no issue with STDs.
Keep in mind that many people also convert to Islam after living a non-Muslim lifestyle. Similarly, some people may have returned to practicing a moral lifestyle after not doing so as well.
Thank you so much for this video gorgeous so much knowledge and facts said. It is no one’s business to ask how someone’s sex life is. Why ask such an inappropriate question? I am in a Polygynous relationship and I was asked this very weird question at a Dennis, she was the waitress! Not professional at all. She didn’t stop asking when I kept repeating that is appropriate and I’m uncomfortable. Looked like she was very curious but there is something called privacy, boundaries, and respect! I really appreciate your video!☺️
I do have 2 questions for you love, I trust you and love the dynamic you have with your sister wife and your husband. I would love your guidance!
My first question would be: How do I come to accept the second wife receiving sex? I am having a hard time with this and get sad when I think about it. She entered our family almost 6 months ago.
My second question is: How do I stop a person (friend or stranger) from asking how is the sex in a polygynous relationship? To me It’s weird and I would like to let them know that’s wrong, inappropriate and discontinue the conversation after the question is asked in a respectful & communicative manner.
Thank you so much! I can’t wait for your next video💜🌺
If he has too wives, and want too husbands, it fair. Game
How many times will this simple minded and foolish statement be made? Gets too old too fast too.
Sister Iove you for the pleasure of Allah you speak so firm blessings to you from st Vincent khadijah.
If you want to share go for it but not for me but it's your life.
💯💯💯
Poly is not for everybody and if you are a man doing it u have to be a leader and not a lyer u cant show favoritism either ... exodus 21 10 speaks about that... Make sure u have women that understand your reasons to be poly.. Its a lot of men giving monagmy and polygamy a bad name
AS SALAAMU ALAIKUM UKHTI!
You need to educate your self on men effecting a women’s ph balance by just mixing another girls fluids with another girls. BA isn’t an sti by the way you can get it from your partner having multiple partners. So many women who go through that so I don’t know.
الحمدلله 💓👌🏽💓
Inshallah
do you think in Islam. in modern muslim polygammy family should required a different houses between wives. May we gather them in a single one house..........
Polygamy is fine and wonderful. A man should have as many wives as he can support and care for. As blessed by Muhammad pbuh…
Islam has a limit of 4.
سلام عليكم.
🥰❣️
و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته
Sis don't waste your time with your business, your business ain't nobody else business.
Heavy
You are very beautiful
Loool
To further expand on your points sis people should know us Muslims are as clean as it gets. We wash our parts with water each time we use the washroom. We take a full body shower after intercourse with our spouses. There's nothing nasty about it! We are clean as clean can be alhamdulillah
Anyone got soe Numbers? Doesnt have to be Muslims, but can be,
but the Question overall is: Polygamy and Polyamory, how many on
this Planet do it?
Some men in the UK have co wives that are not Muslim then the lady is not washing
BV and thrush is not connected to hygiene so you could be as clean as you want you still may get BV and thrush and it is possible for your spouse to get that from his wife and pass it to you and sadly if the woman is unaware of her body and doesn’t treat herself she will keep passing it to you and even more sad than that BV and thrush if untreated for a long time can affect your fertility.
Unless your husband washes his mouth every time before he kisses you her saliva is in his mouth and science also shows that somebody else’s saliva stays in the mouth for over two weeks so even with brushing and cleanliness there’s still some bacteria and body fluids being shared.
I think people should just be honest and tell Women that you just have to deal with it these are things that you have to deal with it’s not possible your husband inserting himself in another woman is not going to cause you any changes in your pH balance.
And I know it’s not in this comment thread that someone said it but I’ll still add it somebody made a statement about is it disrespectful to ask a virgin to have an STI test again I’m in the UK I’m a revert I had non-Muslim friends growing up and they were doing a lot of things that I wasn’t doing and when they got married they made their husband believe they were virgins.
If I now marry somebody who believed the wife was a virgin and that person was not a virgin and had an STD and I now put myself in an unsafe position because he believed his wife when they got married it’s a lot of politics to get into
How can a woman guarantee that the co-wife does not have boyfriends and put herself at risk that’s putting her husband and co-wife at risk
My ex husbands ex-wife had a child for another man while they were married how can I guarantee that I won’t have a co wife who behaves in the same manner and puts me at risk
And then the more women he collects the more women I have to worry about how they behave and how possibly God this thing affects me would my husband feel offended if I was to go to the clinic every six months to ensure that I was safe
Polygyny is far cleaner than monogamy. Because of competition all the wives take good care of their bodies to attract their husband unlike monogamy where a wife can dress anyhow
You clearly don't know how the female body works. Women naturally have different bacteria and swapping between them will cause them to have an infection.
I understand women body more than you do
@@evangelistfrancispeprahtv1904 Since I've been living in a woman's body since... birth... I'm sure you absolutely don't know more about the female body.
@@yasmeenahbey632 if you are woman doesn't mean you know women body than me
@@evangelistfrancispeprahtv1904 that's exactly what that means.