Podcast EP 147: My Antidepressant Withdrawal Story (Part 3 of a series) (March 2021)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
- I used Paxil between 1996 and 2005. This is part 3 of a 3 part series detailing my experience. My experience with SSRI withdrawal was difficult, to say the least. I’ve been asked to tell this story, so I did for those that want to hear it. Spoiler alert: I survived and it turned out OK!
My experience with antidepressants and anxiety is mine. Yours may be different. Please keep this in mind.
For full show notes:
theanxioustrut...
My books, podcast, and social media links:
theanxioustrut...
Music Credit: Afterglow by Ben Drake w/Permission
bendrakemusic.com
This 3 part series "Extremely" helpful because "Your Story" tells me you've been there. Hard to take advice from a Doc or anyone that has never experienced your symptoms personally. I can identify w "EVERYTHING" you described. 7 years now & still working on it but... Most helpful so far 1) lying in ER w heart palpitations (no heart attack) & ER nurse, who could identify w my anxiety better than Doc, gave me title of book called, The Power Of Now, by Eric Tolle. (Wish I could thank her for that today). 2) Change of extreme sugary/highly processed diet to "Real" whole food, low carb diet with the aid of wearing a continuous glucose monitor that I begged Doc for subscription & paid for myself, (GAME CHANGER). Completely reversed my pre-diabeties that doc "Wasn't" worried about but I was, never overweight (according to avg American) but down 35 lbs at age 61, & am back to what I weighed in my early 20's) & 3) Podcasts like this. It's Not Just Me And I am Not Crazy. Thank You So Much for Sharing!
I can’t believe I had missed these 3 episodes. Drew, if I respected you before, I do more now. You are a great human being. THANK YOU for everything you’ve done and continue to do for us. When you talked about how your daughter’s comment was your turning point, I got teary eyed. Family is everything to me as well.
Those are very kind words and I appreciate that! If I can help in some way with this story, that's great.
I cannot tell you how much light you have put into my life with this series #147. Has to be the best story I've ever heard.
I’m really glad I came across this. Definitely relate. Very validating, I ran out of medication and they scheduled the medicine way into the future. My biggest thing I hated was how I felt unbalanced and my eyes didn’t keep up with my head.
Oh and really bad headaches can’t forget that
Thank you for the feedback. These were the episodes I was most reluctant to do so I appreciate your comment.
Oh my god I had the same withdrawal symptoms after stopping Paxil!! I thought it was my fault because the Doc said “No it’s not the Paxil” but it definitely was because I’ve never felt depressed with all those obsessive and intrusive thought about death!!! I’d never take it again. They gave it to me without telling me that it is the worst med for withdrawal symptoms!!
Ugh. I'm so sorry you went through that too. I heard the same thing. "The medication doesn't cause this." It made me pretty angry at the time.
Thank you this makes me feel less alone. I was put on Paxil 10 mg as a 11 year old and I started tapering in 2019 . I went off completely April 6th of this year. The stomach problems came first, and then agoraphobia, then I would tremor uncontrollably, ended up throwing up shaking hard in the hospital with a heart rate of 150 and blood pressure through the roof. They gave me hydroxyzine and within 20 minutes it was over. The intrusive thoughts are so crazy and intense and it literally feels like they possess you. Nothing that I have tried has helped. It does feel chemical. I am now in the existential fear part. What if this is a simulation, everybody is gonna die, what if I'm in a dream etc. I get this weird muscle cramp in my leg and heart palpitations. I wake up terrified. I also have days where I wake up with no symptoms. Its so crazy. No psychiatrist believes its withdrawal. I tried supplements ect nothing works. Im almost at the end of month two and I am in a better place than I was but it's miserable.
Hang in there. I remember being in such a state that I felt like I could not stand another 10 seconds of feeling that way. This is really hard. I'm so happy to see that you're experiencing at least some improvement. xx
@@TheAnxiousTruth Thanks for your response and kind words! I'm hopeful even though this is terrifying. I purchased your book. I was listening to your podcast with Jennifer Swan about withdrawal and you mentioned no amount of Claire Weekes-ing could help. What are some specific techniques in your book that you used to get through the withdrawal, or does nothing really help but time?
how are you now?
@@Iliketurtlezz Had to go back on SSRIs in July. I will be on them for the rest of my life is looks like :(
You still on them?@syndiejo962
love you drew seriously do you are the best at giving all the facts and the full story of the details love ya man
Thank you for posting this. My story with anxiety is very similar to yours so i bought your book. But i was surprised you also went through withdrawal so similar to mine even down to running a company and weight gain.
You’re the only one i can find that addressed the nihilistic and obsessive thoughts about death and meaninglessness in the withdrawal community. I’m 7 weeks into a CT from lexapro and this has been my greatest problem.
I feel like i’ve discovered something about life and i’ll never be the same. I’ve lost all interest and passion i used to have because of this. I feel soulless and detached from reality. I don’t feel human.
I hope it’s just depression and anhedonia that has warped my perspective on life and it’s not a permanent perspective i have now. i don’t see myself being able to continue if that’s the case. But this podcast gives me hope.
I’m wondering if these thoughts and perspectives need to be worked on through therapy. Or are they really just caused by chemicals and my perspective on life will change again as time goes on (like yours did)?
I'm so sorry that you're struggling with this stuff now. I will never forget how all this felt. Unfortunately, there is no clear answer to your question. Therapy can be a great place to bring these concerns at least to give them some space where a compassionate helper can allow you to express yourself. Would therapy "fix" the problem as opposed to time and the re-regulation of your brain? That's a very grey area. Just be careful about judging your future based on how you feel now (I'll never be the same is a very extreme absolute statement) or hoping to find an immediate fix for the problem that may or may not exist. This is really a huge exercise in tolerance of discomfort, tolerance of uncertainty, and self-compassionate patience. Hang in there. I know you're doing some hard work right now.
Ok. I find myself doing these things while ON a tiny dose of Citalopram. :/ How do I work through this? Tips?
Do you think the offboarding sensations are same as onboarding???? Been going through 🥵.
I have a story very similar to yours except I was 30 years on an AD. I've been off over 2 years, but there is NO HEALING happening. I think the longer you have taken a med the smaller the chances you will recover ..... The Damage is DONE!
I believe you just need more time. Healing is at a snails pace.
@@blakejohnson8639 @Blake Johnson - What makes you think everyone heals?
@@montesa9136homeostasis
@@montesa9136how are you now?
@theanxioustruth , Drew, can you pls explain one thing - after those 9 months of withdrawal experience, how long did you actually had to work towards recovery, until you got freedom. Because this one I missed in your podcast. It seems, withdrawal ended and Drew healed 😅 I guess, it was still a far longer journey
I did talk about that and I've written about that. It took as long as it took. It was not days or weeks or even a few months. It was longer. But I am always reluctant to give specifics because that can feed the "Drew went faster/slower so I must be doing something wrong or I have no hope" thing.
@@TheAnxiousTruth indeed, you’re correct! This video gave me a good perspective, I’m super thankful for it 🙏🏻
Stumbled upon you after experiencing withdrawal syndromes soon after I took my last dose of Celexa at 1.25mg. Since then have been struggling greatly. Had four panic attacks this week this prompting me to reinstate at 1mg to attempt to stabilize. Any thoughts of reinstating? Ironically, I’ve been practicing as a therapist for 7 years and this is putting a wrench in my professional life.
I understand why you might ask the question, but I never give advice about reinstating, which meds to take, dosage, or even using meds at all. It's just not OK for me to assume that I know enough about anyone here to give safe or well informed answers to those questions. Even if I did offer an opinion about reinstating, you'd find a million people that agree and another million that can argue persuasively against me. Hang in there. I know how difficult and confusing this can all be.
So do you believe that antidepressants do nothing in terms of healing the disorder anxiety just buys you some time like a time out thing, respite?
Forget what I personally believe. The debate in clinical circles revolves around meds dampening or taking away the symptoms and thoughts that we fear. Of course that feels great, but that leads to the "take meds forever vs deal with the return of thoughts and symptoms if I decide to stop taking the meds" question. There is no right answer here. Everyone gets to make the choice that they feel is best for them. Just be aware that it is VERY common for people to report that when they decrease or come off meds, those anxiety experiences come back. That's to be expected so keep this in mind and don't automatically declare disaster or defeat if you experience that at some point.
@@TheAnxiousTruth my doctor thinks I am pretty much recovered and wants me to tapper off. Weird thing is my sleep still kinda misfires. Guess I will have to find a way to cope with that. Oh, dig the guitars. I also have a fender stratocaster and a jackson dinky.
Thanks for your story. I hate to focus on the negative but your tone and attitude towards people not dealing with their withdrawal rather than what they’re feeling was off base. Of course their own attitude towards it is huge, but negating peoples experience isn’t helpful.
Are you and your wife still together?
The FB group is largely inactive now. The only people that can post are me and the admin team. It just got too large and it was too time consuming the wake up to 25 people wanting to ask questions that the team had spent thousands of hours answering already over the previous 5 years. Keeping it focused and out of "co-rumination" territory was becoming more and more difficult so it was better to change it this way than to let it degrade and become harmful instead of helpful.
But you have panic attack before some day and i don't consider that you recovered. Ok, Have panic attack but not afraid of it its not real recovery at my point of view.
Its the real recovery