I hope you enjoy today's "totally cis" video! Be sure to subscribe and stuff!!! Also I got a bluesky account recently!! bsky.app/profile/fairyprincesslucy.bsky.social
"I came out to everyone else before I came out to myself" Hits really close to home. My bf (a transgender man who'd been on T for 10 years at the time) was REALLY confused when I came out... because in his mind I had been out since he met me 6 or 7 years before. And most of my friends non-related to family circles were either like "Well of course, but what's the news?" or "Yeah, we kinda saw that coming". And don't get me started on my internet friends who knew me as a self-described "Yeah, it's like Im trans, but like I dont really be that way publicly, but please address me as a girl" because that's something I literally said tenths of times before I actually accepted I was trans. The brain is wild when you're dealing with bargaining and breaking ages of internalized transphobia.
I feel so called out by the using deadname while at university dressed in girls cloths. Also it doesn't help that in English I use she/her, but in Spanish I still use He/Him because I was taught using She/Her would get me marked down on AP tests, and have applied the same logic to other Spanish exams. (epic plushie)
The denial phase was always strong for me 😅 "I'm not trans, I'm just a boy who wants to be a girl" was what I believed for many years. I think puberty is where a lot of the signs, the dysphoria, and the envy, really escalated for me, but the longer I've accepted myself the more random isolated memories from before puberty I remember, even if I never did anything too explicit. Recently I discovered a Mii on my Wii Message Board that was created when I was 5 named Jessica. I don't remember making that Mii, but she looks like a female version of me as a kid. When I was in my denial phase at 15, I made a sim in The Sims 4 named Jessica who I *always* played as, without having any recollection of that Mii. I didn't name myself Jessica when my egg finally cracked, but it's fascinating to see the name come up multiple times.
There were always cracks in my egg that I ignored. I didn't figure it out and accept it until just shy of my 33rd birthday this year. The idea that we have to know as a child comes from transphobia and the unfair historical standard that it had to have early memories to get treated. But most people just said they did whether they did or didn't so they would get the treatment.
I don't know why, but this video made me remember a time when other 12 year old kids asked 12 year old me if I was a lesbian, I immediately said yes, because I thought it just meant I liked girls. If only I knew how close to being right I was
Some of these I can definitely relate to: * as a teenager slipping into my mom's room when everyone else was out, to try on some of her clothes. * the playing female characters in games, both TTRPG's and computer games. * the bargaining to make a compromise. Mine being that I was "just" a crossdresser, wearing women's clothes of an evening, after work, and of a weekend. My egg cracked in the late autumn of 2020, though it still took me some time to discover that there were other people like me and that they were referred to as transgender, I had honestly not heard the term before. It was another 2 years, in 2022, before I came out to anyone, and only last year when I came out to my family. Now I am out to the world and 8 months on oestrogen.
I never knew what the meaning of "life flashing before your eyes" meant until valentine's day this year of all days, I had a flash montage of all the moments in my life where I did not want to exist as a boy and things all started to make sense.
The bargaining stage is SO relatable! Even as I started presenting more androgynous and sometimes outright feminine, I kept using he/him pronouns (in addition to my she/they pronouns) even though it felt bad. I told myself it was because I was totally gender-fluid and I felt more masculine sometimes. I am a bit of a tomboy sometimes, but it turns out some of that “feeling more masculine” was dysphoria. 😅 Epic plushie, by the way!
My first sign was just wanting to be taken back overall. I don't know how to explain it other then. I Used to wrap myself up in blankets and WISH I would be just reborn. I would just imagine this worker line that made people and thought if I wished hard enough that they would make changes. This happened so frequently that I started wearing my sisters Halloween dresses to bed........I was corrected and told that it wasn't normal. Became an Alcoholic at the age of 19, 32 now! Other then High BP, I'm impressively healthy =D. Also Went to the dentist and I don't think I lose teeth =D Love yourself, You're worth the effort you put in. Please don't wait till you think you hit your bottom. Trust me Lol Inaction is my only regret. Am 33 in 4 months, my goal is to be on HRT and be sorta around my goal weight around my Bday. I'm hoping to have the courage to come out tomorrow to my community =D. Love yall and ty for reading my post =D
If i think back about my life there were enough signs i'm probably not cis. Took me 37 years to find out tho. After my egg cracked the floodgates opened and well.. i noticed there might have been some deeply repressed signs. My past relationships with girls where i didnt want to fill the role of a man for example. I never felt like i wanted the role of a man in society. I fought with depressions and anxiety for my whole life and never really knew why. Turns out it might have been because i was never comfortable with myself. After 37 years of repression you notice a lot of signs for not being cis when you finally are able to see them for what they are 😅. I am currently in that awkward that of trying to pass all the gatekeepers to access HRT. I will probably be able to start HRT in mid february. I am very happy with accepting myself as trans. I only wear girls clothes whenever i can and went out in public with them. Still a bit awkward cause my face and hair dont pass at all but the clothes seem to be subtle enough. But well.. i got those days with a lot of dysphoria where i question everything but most of the time i get back to acceptance soon. It just feels like i wasted enough time in life and want to transition faster than i should. Thanks again for the video. I feel validated once again. Gonna cuddle my epic plushie (😉) Blahaj now 😅
The windows XP bar at the bottom is giving me feelings i don't like. That said, your eye liner is on point, so it balances out ❤ I wish I would have watched videos like this earlier, but in a terrible catch 22, content about being transgender caused me severe distress before finally accepting I was trans I tried hard like you described at the end of the video to deal with it in private, hoping it would be enough. I didn't know dysphoria just gets worse, or that coping works less well over time, or how much transitioning improves your sense of well being. We need more trans education, and people sharing their experiences like this. Thank you!
Lucy, thanks for being so honest and open about your life. I'm slowly getting to know who you really are. I like and respect who you have become. You should be very proud of yourself. ❤❤❤😊😊😊
I try my best! I feel social media can paint a picture all the trans influencers are perfect lol, I am hoping the channel shows otherwise and presents my transition story as honest as possible
This may sound weird but when people say they "found out they were trans" and actually transitioned it's easy as a babyfem to think it's some crazy thing that they can't relate to completely. But hearing you word things like that kind of humanizes the experience of being trans kind of. It's not just picking up a dress and being trans, it's about wearing girl's clothes and then saying "still cis tho"
I'm around your age. I should've figured it out when I basically only ever played as Rosalina in Mario Kart Wii. I should've figured it out when I would always get my sister's old American Girl Doll catalogues when she was done (and I wanted one). I should've figured it out so many times before college. The only problem is that I didn't know it was possible to be trans until it was an issue in the 2016 election. I'm still not certain enough to switch over my social media and tell everyone (and I really hope nobody I know IRL finds this comment), but if I have one big regret in life, it's not knowing about this sooner. - Serena
If i was never given vyvanse and zoloft at the same time, leading to a manic episode, I have no idea when it would've dawned on me that I'm a woman. There were a lot of things that I figured out about myself during that month. Some true, some false, but none of them as monumentally radiantly obvious and important as the whole being a woman thing. Now one year later I'm on HRT and I couldn't have been more correct. Also throwback to when I had a mental breakdown when I was 16 and the disembodied voice asked me who I was and out of all the descriptors I used, I remember "man" being incorrect and the voice would only accept "woman". Which could have meant nothing.
@raegan_1018 nah it would never be shouting and screaming at me that I'm a girl. Also the whole being jealous of lesbians and wishing I'd been born a girl and daydreaming about being a girl and wanting to wear clothes that make me feel more like a girl was all unrelated and coincidental too and it also means nothing probably
Damn, people figuring this sht out when they are 5-6 years old. I had a completely "boyish" childhood and only found I might be trans only when I was like 15-16 years old, which I questioned and found a definite answer when I started balding at 20 years old :D
FTA Epic plushie, another very good one. This next comment may seem a bit spicey but it's not really intended to be, more of an observation 'can you begin to imagine what being trans was like before the internet or before people commonly had access to it' the info we needed was not at our finger tips. Tbh I think it's a doubled edged sword trans folk now have easy access to help uncover who they are but they are also more subjected to mean spirited people.
Thank you for another great video. And god, how much it brings me back to my own childhood. There were so many signs too. I remember now how when I was 12, I was allowed to choose my own haircut. I started to grow out my hair and got one of the most typical of girl haircuts. And the bargaining stage is also so true; I remember how I was telling myself how I would never be a girl and how transitioning is just fake pretending and wrong (which makes me so sad that I thought that back then, though I was just repeating to myself everything I heard that was said about LGBTQ+ people in my country, and all of it was just gross misinformation!), but if I can't be a girl, I still will try no matter what to be the most feminine boy, and I did just that till I was finally ready to fully accept myself half a year ago! And thinking about this now brings me so much joy as I finally can truly be myself, and what were just little signs back then are slowly turning into real everyday life, and now I wake up every day with a smile on my face, genuinely excited to live my life! And again, thank you so much for your videos, as they have been a great source of inspiration and made me explore myself again and again! Hope you yourself have a great life and have a good luck with your surgery I hope I will be able to get one too in the future! ❤️❤️❤️
Yup, definitely still cis, I just get really giggly when my voice doesn’t sound like a man’s voice, and smile a lot when I see feminine shapes on my my body, and really wish to look good in alt fem clothes, and don’t like my dong, and prefer “guy” to “man,” and always choose the feminine option in games, and one of my best tabletop d&d characters is a woman with a daughter who could have become my next character if the scheduling conflicts didn’t put the game on a nigh on cancelled hiatus. Yup, still cis. 🤪
I remember that time I went out in a dress as a Halloween costume because "I lost a bet" that I made myself up, even at the time I knew I just wanted to wear it. Can't believe my dense ass took eleven years since then and a pile of other signs to find out I was trans 😅
My cousins always did my make up when they would come for holidays! I will alway remember that feeling, that was definitely the first cracks in my shell also!
I'm at a stage where im unsure if I'm trans. I don't hate being male, but I'd rather be a girl. I hate how masculine puberty made me. I just want to be cute again.
It took me stopping respecting the people and the systems that forced me to be a guy to realise how hard I was working to stay at the same point with the same narrative about who I was and what a drain it was to falsely claim masculinity and being male. Still cis tho.
Well that and acknowledging that I simply could not think of a worse future than the path I was going down already and had been consciously in self-preservation mode ignoring who I was to others and who I was expected to become since I was like 6 lol.
My first few memories of realising i was not cis was i had this ex close friend who always did my makeup and also i must have been 4 or maybe five and she got me to wear this red tu tu she had, it was amazing. Then when i was in year 6 so about 10 or 12 i had this amazing dream where i was just chilling in my school wearing a cute as hell yellow princess style dress. I always also wanted to make a sim of me but as a girl in sims 4. Im glad i have these memories as they always provide something nice to think about when im stressed about having to go to school as a guy every day 🙃
when you said the thing about the green blanket, I thought back to what I did with my bed sheets, since my mom didn't ever dress femininely. I pretty much did exactly what you did. I think at the most times I wouldn't have fit into my mom's clothes anyway, and didn't have sisters, so I had to do something. I remember my mom catching me trying to pierce my ears when I was 12. She walked into my room when I almost had the one in the right ear through, left one was already pierced for a good 15 minutes before. She was furious. This was in 1994, when men having both ears pierced wasn't nearly as common, so it would have been seen socially as more of a feminine thing.
My gender changed a lot but I figured out that was eventually because I felt I needed some kind of gender while in reality I wasn’t really feeling anything in terms of gender! That’s how I found out I was agender
I feel like it'd be easier coming out to the world before yourself when it comes to telling people. The main problem with coming out is you think they wont know and might get all panicked and you won't know what happens, but if everyone kinda expects it then they might be more understanding due to having a longer time to process it. Doesn't mean coming out is really easier or anything, it's just that the outcome might be a bit better.
Thinking back on when you were under the impression of being cis can be an interesting past time, I find. Especially in those times when maybe you're not feeling so super. And as all the numerous indicators become apparent, in hindsight, you can start to think "how the heck did I keep ignoring what is now so obvious?"
I remember when i still hadn't accepted myself and my uncle asked me why i was playing a female character in everybody's golf on my ps4. I responded with saying that it's just nicer to look at without realising i was thinking about it from a self insert lens. The cope was so real back then 😅
My first memory was me, barely able to walk, going up to my dad and saying something along the lines of "I heard when you die your life flashes before your eyes. How do we know if we're actually alive or if we're just remembering our whole life right now?" My dad responded "wow that's pretty deep why don't you get me a beer?" And I went to get him a beer.
Nice video. I like your laugh. I remember being in the womb. Being born. Coming home from the hospital. And so much after that. I knew I was a girl as early as age 2. I remember having anxiety over my family dressing and treating me as the wong sex. By 3 I was fully aware i am a girl. You could not tell me otherwise. Even to today my mind still identifies as female. About a week ago my mind felt the need to get pregnant. My mind has always been female. My universe collapsed in on me when I was forced to recognize i had a male body at the age of 3. I felt complete and utter betrayal by existence.
When I was a very young kid, I was alone in my room and thought to myself "What if I'm actually a girl and my parents kept that hidden from me all this time?" and then I proceeded to apply "lipstick" (I licked my finger and used that...). And then, years from now I started wearing my mom's and sister clothes when I was home alone... and then I didn't figure it out for years to come. Funny thing is... I also left some evidence of this, namely lipgloss on a towel... and I pushed the blame onto my sister. Sorry sis 😅 And uh... "bargaining"? Yeah... for me that was "I'm just genderfluid! I can be a boy or a girl!" And then proceeded to be a girl online. For months. Without a break. (Not to discredit genderfluid people just me being a dumbass with labels)
When I first got pokemon, it was pokemon X. I made my character a boy, but was very upset that I couldn't have them wear girl clothes. When I was like 12 I remember that I had wanted to be a girl, but didn't really see it as a thing that I could do. I tried to like summon some kind of god or demon or something to help me (it didn't work, sadly.) I would forget about these feelings for a while, maybe for even like a year, at a time, but then it would always come back. I saw a trans person for the first time when I was like 13 maybe, and I made fun of them along with the other students, but I honestly considered being trans. Eventually, when I was like 14, I told a friend that I had wanted to be a girl, and she was supportive. I didn't really realize that I was trans, but I did know that I wanted to be a girl, and I learned that I could do that, theoretically. I planned to tell my parents, but because my parents don't trust me and don't care about privacy, they looked through my phone and found that I had discussed with my friend about wanting to be a girl. They were emotional, and so I lied and told them that it was just a phase and that I didn't feel that way anymore. I do often wonder what it would have been like if they didn't do that, because I was only days away from telling them myself. Once they did that, though, I completely repressed those feelings for like another year, before those feelings came back, and I told the friend that I still felt that way. I learned that I was trans when I was like 15 or 16. I have still yet to transition at all, though. I want to. I am just scared to. When my parents learned before, they were so emotional. It makes me terrified of the idea of them finding out again. I have spent so so long hiding it... I still mostly live with my parents, though (I am not a little kid, don't worry. I am over the age of 18.)
For some of us, there were signs, we just dismissed them thinking they were normal stuff to think/like/dream. Until we have the _awakening_ (Also, the fact I’m reminded I’m over 10 years older than Lucy makes my back hurt)
There was a time where I was questioning and doubting myself, because you know, I sort of relate a *lot* to some trans experiences. However, I vividly remember choosing to play as a girl in pokèmon and it felt wrong. Then I stopped questioning myself. ...I still watch these videos though because "haha funni somewhat relateable but not really I swear" videos. Im a completely cisgen hetero dude!
I'm definitely not cis... Three months ago i had a emotional breakdown from holding back after losing mom until i finaly broke down and it left me feeling confused and lost feeling. I started soul searching and realized things about myself. I realized things i didn't think hard about until this month. I remember seeing your videos that say "Click to become a girl" and i clicked them so fast. I had a dream/daydream where aliens turned me into a girl. I wanted to were a dress. I wished to be a girl. Then my cousin convinced me to try girl stuff such as make-up, nail polish and girl clothes. I got too excited once i tried then. Then i tried female and neutral pronouns to see how i liked it. And then tried a girl name. I am certain i am definitely a girl. (Still cis tho. :b)
my egg cracked when I was 7 I have this specific memory of being at a sleepover with my friend, and then I had the realization and said "fuck" out loud which is a word I have no clue where I picked it up but I didn't elaborate, always pushed it to the back of my head until not all to long ago
When I was young, I was just weird. I was growing up in a putatively all-male household and doing my best to pretend. I certainly didn't land at stereotypically male but I was deliberately avoiding femininity, too... so... "weird".
Usually for me the girl was on second playthrough of pokemon games but I don't now because there is to much content to reset and I like to battle my cousins alot and can't really tell them so I have to wait till the next generation and reset all my progress or just have an alternative account for me and playing with cousins (im kinda stuck and would like help tell me your solutions to this please) (luckily I can play spinoff games as a girl since they never have cross compatible gameplay)
When I was 4 in 2006, I knew of transgender people but my mom had explained it as "they just woke up one day with a beard" (the example was a trans guy) So i thought trans women would just wake up with boobs and just roll with it until i was 13.
I hope you enjoy today's "totally cis" video! Be sure to subscribe and stuff!!!
Also I got a bluesky account recently!! bsky.app/profile/fairyprincesslucy.bsky.social
'your honour, I didn't search the transgender videos, they just came up in the recommended'
"I came out to everyone else before I came out to myself" Hits really close to home.
My bf (a transgender man who'd been on T for 10 years at the time) was REALLY confused when I came out... because in his mind I had been out since he met me 6 or 7 years before. And most of my friends non-related to family circles were either like "Well of course, but what's the news?" or "Yeah, we kinda saw that coming". And don't get me started on my internet friends who knew me as a self-described "Yeah, it's like Im trans, but like I dont really be that way publicly, but please address me as a girl" because that's something I literally said tenths of times before I actually accepted I was trans.
The brain is wild when you're dealing with bargaining and breaking ages of internalized transphobia.
I was identifying as a straight man while also literally being a drag queen for YEARS before I figured any of this out.
I feel so called out by the using deadname while at university dressed in girls cloths. Also it doesn't help that in English I use she/her, but in Spanish I still use He/Him because I was taught using She/Her would get me marked down on AP tests, and have applied the same logic to other Spanish exams. (epic plushie)
The denial phase was always strong for me 😅 "I'm not trans, I'm just a boy who wants to be a girl" was what I believed for many years. I think puberty is where a lot of the signs, the dysphoria, and the envy, really escalated for me, but the longer I've accepted myself the more random isolated memories from before puberty I remember, even if I never did anything too explicit.
Recently I discovered a Mii on my Wii Message Board that was created when I was 5 named Jessica. I don't remember making that Mii, but she looks like a female version of me as a kid. When I was in my denial phase at 15, I made a sim in The Sims 4 named Jessica who I *always* played as, without having any recollection of that Mii. I didn't name myself Jessica when my egg finally cracked, but it's fascinating to see the name come up multiple times.
There were always cracks in my egg that I ignored. I didn't figure it out and accept it until just shy of my 33rd birthday this year. The idea that we have to know as a child comes from transphobia and the unfair historical standard that it had to have early memories to get treated. But most people just said they did whether they did or didn't so they would get the treatment.
I don't know why, but this video made me remember a time when other 12 year old kids asked 12 year old me if I was a lesbian, I immediately said yes, because I thought it just meant I liked girls. If only I knew how close to being right I was
Some of these I can definitely relate to:
* as a teenager slipping into my mom's room when everyone else was out, to try on some of her clothes.
* the playing female characters in games, both TTRPG's and computer games.
* the bargaining to make a compromise. Mine being that I was "just" a crossdresser, wearing women's clothes of an evening, after work, and of a weekend.
My egg cracked in the late autumn of 2020, though it still took me some time to discover that there were other people like me and that they were referred to as transgender, I had honestly not heard the term before. It was another 2 years, in 2022, before I came out to anyone, and only last year when I came out to my family. Now I am out to the world and 8 months on oestrogen.
Your story was so damn fun to listen to, good luck on your surgery girl
I never knew what the meaning of "life flashing before your eyes" meant until valentine's day this year of all days, I had a flash montage of all the moments in my life where I did not want to exist as a boy and things all started to make sense.
The bargaining stage is SO relatable! Even as I started presenting more androgynous and sometimes outright feminine, I kept using he/him pronouns (in addition to my she/they pronouns) even though it felt bad. I told myself it was because I was totally gender-fluid and I felt more masculine sometimes. I am a bit of a tomboy sometimes, but it turns out some of that “feeling more masculine” was dysphoria. 😅
Epic plushie, by the way!
One of my biggest signs I never realized until I came out was singing like a girl in choir.
My first sign was just wanting to be taken back overall. I don't know how to explain it other then. I Used to wrap myself up in blankets and WISH I would be just reborn. I would just imagine this worker line that made people and thought if I wished hard enough that they would make changes. This happened so frequently that I started wearing my sisters Halloween dresses to bed........I was corrected and told that it wasn't normal.
Became an Alcoholic at the age of 19, 32 now!
Other then High BP, I'm impressively healthy =D. Also Went to the dentist and I don't think I lose teeth =D
Love yourself, You're worth the effort you put in. Please don't wait till you think you hit your bottom. Trust me Lol
Inaction is my only regret.
Am 33 in 4 months, my goal is to be on HRT and be sorta around my goal weight around my Bday. I'm hoping to have the courage to come out tomorrow to my community =D.
Love yall and ty for reading my post =D
good luck!
If i think back about my life there were enough signs i'm probably not cis. Took me 37 years to find out tho. After my egg cracked the floodgates opened and well.. i noticed there might have been some deeply repressed signs.
My past relationships with girls where i didnt want to fill the role of a man for example. I never felt like i wanted the role of a man in society. I fought with depressions and anxiety for my whole life and never really knew why. Turns out it might have been because i was never comfortable with myself. After 37 years of repression you notice a lot of signs for not being cis when you finally are able to see them for what they are 😅.
I am currently in that awkward that of trying to pass all the gatekeepers to access HRT. I will probably be able to start HRT in mid february.
I am very happy with accepting myself as trans. I only wear girls clothes whenever i can and went out in public with them. Still a bit awkward cause my face and hair dont pass at all but the clothes seem to be subtle enough. But well.. i got those days with a lot of dysphoria where i question everything but most of the time i get back to acceptance soon. It just feels like i wasted enough time in life and want to transition faster than i should.
Thanks again for the video. I feel validated once again. Gonna cuddle my epic plushie (😉) Blahaj now 😅
how on earth did you comment this 7 days ago when this vid was posted 4 minutes ago??? is this a glitch on my part?
@@leoshortnose Channel Members usually gets videos earlier.
At least that's standard for most channels, so I assume Lucy does the same
@@PiePiellow ohhhhhhhhhhhh
I thought she was a time traveller, hehe~! >W
@@leoshortnose Probably early access video for members or something
The windows XP bar at the bottom is giving me feelings i don't like. That said, your eye liner is on point, so it balances out ❤
I wish I would have watched videos like this earlier, but in a terrible catch 22, content about being transgender caused me severe distress before finally accepting I was trans
I tried hard like you described at the end of the video to deal with it in private, hoping it would be enough.
I didn't know dysphoria just gets worse, or that coping works less well over time, or how much transitioning improves your sense of well being.
We need more trans education, and people sharing their experiences like this. Thank you!
Lucy, thanks for being so honest and open about your life. I'm slowly getting to know who you really are. I like and respect who you have become. You should be very proud of yourself. ❤❤❤😊😊😊
I try my best! I feel social media can paint a picture all the trans influencers are perfect lol, I am hoping the channel shows otherwise and presents my transition story as honest as possible
that's an EPIC thumbnail, I must say B) I just had to click on it because it's soo epic!!
its a very epic thumbnail!!
@@fairyprincesslucy sure is~! ^^
This may sound weird but when people say they "found out they were trans" and actually transitioned it's easy as a babyfem to think it's some crazy thing that they can't relate to completely. But hearing you word things like that kind of humanizes the experience of being trans kind of. It's not just picking up a dress and being trans, it's about wearing girl's clothes and then saying "still cis tho"
I'm around your age. I should've figured it out when I basically only ever played as Rosalina in Mario Kart Wii. I should've figured it out when I would always get my sister's old American Girl Doll catalogues when she was done (and I wanted one). I should've figured it out so many times before college. The only problem is that I didn't know it was possible to be trans until it was an issue in the 2016 election. I'm still not certain enough to switch over my social media and tell everyone (and I really hope nobody I know IRL finds this comment), but if I have one big regret in life, it's not knowing about this sooner.
- Serena
Hm, I wonder if I, who came out as trans 10 years ago, am cis or trans. Maybe this video will help me figure that one out.
you have my favorite thumbnails on youtube 😭😭😭
I try my best hahaha I try to have fun with the thumbnails
What a great video to help me find out if im cis or not! (I already realized I wasn't Cis 3 months ago while on GWAsapphic)
I remember watching boy to girl makeup videos a long time ago.
... still cis tho 😅
um...... yeah sure
🥚
keep telling yourself that. What is and isn’t “cis” is a manmade concept that could very well not be true.
Is your pfp Rogue from soul knight?
Anyone hungry for some eggs?
If i was never given vyvanse and zoloft at the same time, leading to a manic episode, I have no idea when it would've dawned on me that I'm a woman. There were a lot of things that I figured out about myself during that month. Some true, some false, but none of them as monumentally radiantly obvious and important as the whole being a woman thing. Now one year later I'm on HRT and I couldn't have been more correct.
Also throwback to when I had a mental breakdown when I was 16 and the disembodied voice asked me who I was and out of all the descriptors I used, I remember "man" being incorrect and the voice would only accept "woman". Which could have meant nothing.
yeah, that disembodied voice probably wasn't your subconscious trying to tell you something important
@raegan_1018 nah it would never be shouting and screaming at me that I'm a girl. Also the whole being jealous of lesbians and wishing I'd been born a girl and daydreaming about being a girl and wanting to wear clothes that make me feel more like a girl was all unrelated and coincidental too and it also means nothing probably
AND NOW you put kermit in a video. lol
(I genuinely am so mad I got that kahoot question wrong)
I'm only at 3:37 and looking at the length of the video I can already tell it's game over when you talk about pretending to give birth
Damn, people figuring this sht out when they are 5-6 years old. I had a completely "boyish" childhood and only found I might be trans only when I was like 15-16 years old, which I questioned and found a definite answer when I started balding at 20 years old :D
not me at 19:33 feeling called out
FTA Epic plushie, another very good one.
This next comment may seem a bit spicey but it's not really intended to be, more of an observation 'can you begin to imagine what being trans was like before the internet or before people commonly had access to it' the info we needed was not at our finger tips.
Tbh I think it's a doubled edged sword trans folk now have easy access to help uncover who they are but they are also more subjected to mean spirited people.
new silly just dropped
You weren't cis, you're sis :3
Also, congrats on the surgery funding! And looking forward to more of the epic plushie collection. :3
Thank you for another great video. And god, how much it brings me back to my own childhood. There were so many signs too. I remember now how when I was 12, I was allowed to choose my own haircut. I started to grow out my hair and got one of the most typical of girl haircuts. And the bargaining stage is also so true; I remember how I was telling myself how I would never be a girl and how transitioning is just fake pretending and wrong (which makes me so sad that I thought that back then, though I was just repeating to myself everything I heard that was said about LGBTQ+ people in my country, and all of it was just gross misinformation!), but if I can't be a girl, I still will try no matter what to be the most feminine boy, and I did just that till I was finally ready to fully accept myself half a year ago! And thinking about this now brings me so much joy as I finally can truly be myself, and what were just little signs back then are slowly turning into real everyday life, and now I wake up every day with a smile on my face, genuinely excited to live my life! And again, thank you so much for your videos, as they have been a great source of inspiration and made me explore myself again and again! Hope you yourself have a great life and have a good luck with your surgery I hope I will be able to get one too in the future! ❤️❤️❤️
I feel so called out in this video but i can't accept it yet 💀 also off topic but I love your hair and outfit they are so cute!
Yup, definitely still cis, I just get really giggly when my voice doesn’t sound like a man’s voice, and smile a lot when I see feminine shapes on my my body, and really wish to look good in alt fem clothes, and don’t like my dong, and prefer “guy” to “man,” and always choose the feminine option in games, and one of my best tabletop d&d characters is a woman with a daughter who could have become my next character if the scheduling conflicts didn’t put the game on a nigh on cancelled hiatus. Yup, still cis. 🤪
I remember that time I went out in a dress as a Halloween costume because "I lost a bet" that I made myself up, even at the time I knew I just wanted to wear it.
Can't believe my dense ass took eleven years since then and a pile of other signs to find out I was trans 😅
My cousins always did my make up when they would come for holidays! I will alway remember that feeling, that was definitely the first cracks in my shell also!
"There were no signs" 😅
I'm at a stage where im unsure if I'm trans. I don't hate being male, but I'd rather be a girl. I hate how masculine puberty made me. I just want to be cute again.
I can definitely recognize some of those memories and feelings from my own childhood ! 🥰💜🏳️⚧️
It took me stopping respecting the people and the systems that forced me to be a guy to realise how hard I was working to stay at the same point with the same narrative about who I was and what a drain it was to falsely claim masculinity and being male. Still cis tho.
Well that and acknowledging that I simply could not think of a worse future than the path I was going down already and had been consciously in self-preservation mode ignoring who I was to others and who I was expected to become since I was like 6 lol.
My first few memories of realising i was not cis was i had this ex close friend who always did my makeup and also i must have been 4 or maybe five and she got me to wear this red tu tu she had, it was amazing. Then when i was in year 6 so about 10 or 12 i had this amazing dream where i was just chilling in my school wearing a cute as hell yellow princess style dress. I always also wanted to make a sim of me but as a girl in sims 4. Im glad i have these memories as they always provide something nice to think about when im stressed about having to go to school as a guy every day 🙃
10:59 pokemon b/w was one of my first video games I got a rush of nostalgia when I saw this
I use he/him and my trans name openly to my supportive peers, and I have a preference for boys clothing.
*...Still cis tho.*
You always make the best thumbnails ❤
Love your channel =D Makes me aspire to be like yourself =D
when you said the thing about the green blanket, I thought back to what I did with my bed sheets, since my mom didn't ever dress femininely. I pretty much did exactly what you did. I think at the most times I wouldn't have fit into my mom's clothes anyway, and didn't have sisters, so I had to do something. I remember my mom catching me trying to pierce my ears when I was 12. She walked into my room when I almost had the one in the right ear through, left one was already pierced for a good 15 minutes before. She was furious. This was in 1994, when men having both ears pierced wasn't nearly as common, so it would have been seen socially as more of a feminine thing.
Is it normal for finding out to be more of a gradual thing? I can relate to some things here but not others. I'm still trying to figure myself out.
Every journey is different, a gradual discovery is very common, everyone differs in some ways in the journey, you got this!
My gender changed a lot but I figured out that was eventually because I felt I needed some kind of gender while in reality I wasn’t really feeling anything in terms of gender! That’s how I found out I was agender
I feel like it'd be easier coming out to the world before yourself when it comes to telling people. The main problem with coming out is you think they wont know and might get all panicked and you won't know what happens, but if everyone kinda expects it then they might be more understanding due to having a longer time to process it. Doesn't mean coming out is really easier or anything, it's just that the outcome might be a bit better.
Thinking back on when you were under the impression of being cis can be an interesting past time, I find. Especially in those times when maybe you're not feeling so super. And as all the numerous indicators become apparent, in hindsight, you can start to think "how the heck did I keep ignoring what is now so obvious?"
I remember when i still hadn't accepted myself and my uncle asked me why i was playing a female character in everybody's golf on my ps4. I responded with saying that it's just nicer to look at without realising i was thinking about it from a self insert lens. The cope was so real back then 😅
My first memory was me, barely able to walk, going up to my dad and saying something along the lines of "I heard when you die your life flashes before your eyes. How do we know if we're actually alive or if we're just remembering our whole life right now?" My dad responded "wow that's pretty deep why don't you get me a beer?" And I went to get him a beer.
Bro that is such a wholesome first memory 😭😭 my first memory is literally waking up crying after having a nightmare 😭😭
Nice video. I like your laugh.
I remember being in the womb. Being born. Coming home from the hospital. And so much after that.
I knew I was a girl as early as age 2. I remember having anxiety over my family dressing and treating me as the wong sex. By 3 I was fully aware i am a girl. You could not tell me otherwise. Even to today my mind still identifies as female. About a week ago my mind felt the need to get pregnant. My mind has always been female. My universe collapsed in on me when I was forced to recognize i had a male body at the age of 3. I felt complete and utter betrayal by existence.
Wow I finally get to watch one of these while already knowing for certain I’m trans ❤😅
one of my (enby) biggest signs is how different everything feels now that my identity isn't suppressed anymore, even tho i'm only out to like 5 people
When I was a very young kid, I was alone in my room and thought to myself "What if I'm actually a girl and my parents kept that hidden from me all this time?" and then I proceeded to apply "lipstick" (I licked my finger and used that...). And then, years from now I started wearing my mom's and sister clothes when I was home alone... and then I didn't figure it out for years to come. Funny thing is... I also left some evidence of this, namely lipgloss on a towel... and I pushed the blame onto my sister. Sorry sis 😅
And uh... "bargaining"? Yeah... for me that was "I'm just genderfluid! I can be a boy or a girl!" And then proceeded to be a girl online. For months. Without a break. (Not to discredit genderfluid people just me being a dumbass with labels)
Being able to play as a girl in Pokemon Crystal was the biggest deal to me. A certified Not Cis Moment™️
10:55 cute! ✨
When I first got pokemon, it was pokemon X. I made my character a boy, but was very upset that I couldn't have them wear girl clothes. When I was like 12 I remember that I had wanted to be a girl, but didn't really see it as a thing that I could do. I tried to like summon some kind of god or demon or something to help me (it didn't work, sadly.) I would forget about these feelings for a while, maybe for even like a year, at a time, but then it would always come back. I saw a trans person for the first time when I was like 13 maybe, and I made fun of them along with the other students, but I honestly considered being trans. Eventually, when I was like 14, I told a friend that I had wanted to be a girl, and she was supportive. I didn't really realize that I was trans, but I did know that I wanted to be a girl, and I learned that I could do that, theoretically. I planned to tell my parents, but because my parents don't trust me and don't care about privacy, they looked through my phone and found that I had discussed with my friend about wanting to be a girl. They were emotional, and so I lied and told them that it was just a phase and that I didn't feel that way anymore. I do often wonder what it would have been like if they didn't do that, because I was only days away from telling them myself. Once they did that, though, I completely repressed those feelings for like another year, before those feelings came back, and I told the friend that I still felt that way. I learned that I was trans when I was like 15 or 16. I have still yet to transition at all, though. I want to. I am just scared to. When my parents learned before, they were so emotional. It makes me terrified of the idea of them finding out again. I have spent so so long hiding it... I still mostly live with my parents, though (I am not a little kid, don't worry. I am over the age of 18.)
yeah exactly i didn't figure it out till i was almost 30
For some of us, there were signs, we just dismissed them thinking they were normal stuff to think/like/dream.
Until we have the _awakening_
(Also, the fact I’m reminded I’m over 10 years older than Lucy makes my back hurt)
It's easy to dismiss signs, it can be surprisingly tricky to learn others don't wish these things
Surely not. Surely that's not me. Surely.
I'm so closeted that I went throught the entire barganing stage exclusively on my head smh
The "bargaining phase" sounds an awful lot like the 20 some odd years I repressed it before I came out lol
idk if we had any signs tbh, maybe some when like 5 but none really til a few months before accepting
actually maybe some others, those periods in life are very blurry
actually actually, hated deadname entire life, always wanted long hair, never liked masc clothes yeah
There was a time where I was questioning and doubting myself, because you know, I sort of relate a *lot* to some trans experiences.
However, I vividly remember choosing to play as a girl in pokèmon and it felt wrong. Then I stopped questioning myself.
...I still watch these videos though because "haha funni somewhat relateable but not really I swear" videos.
Im a completely cisgen hetero dude!
My clearest sign was playing Fallout New Vegas
Still cis tho
I'm definitely not cis... Three months ago i had a emotional breakdown from holding back after losing mom until i finaly broke down and it left me feeling confused and lost feeling. I started soul searching and realized things about myself. I realized things i didn't think hard about until this month.
I remember seeing your videos that say "Click to become a girl" and i clicked them so fast. I had a dream/daydream where aliens turned me into a girl. I wanted to were a dress. I wished to be a girl. Then my cousin convinced me to try girl stuff such as make-up, nail polish and girl clothes. I got too excited once i tried then. Then i tried female and neutral pronouns to see how i liked it. And then tried a girl name. I am certain i am definitely a girl.
(Still cis tho. :b)
my egg cracked when I was 7 I have this specific memory of being at a sleepover with my friend, and then I had the realization and said "fuck" out loud which is a word I have no clue where I picked it up but I didn't elaborate, always pushed it to the back of my head until not all to long ago
I will do a video one day about how i was a totally cis person in the 80s.
I’m so cis 🎉
Congratulations on getting on the trans Jedi council
When I was young, I was just weird. I was growing up in a putatively all-male household and doing my best to pretend. I certainly didn't land at stereotypically male but I was deliberately avoiding femininity, too... so... "weird".
Also, I like that half your cozy videos have explosions in the thumbnails. 🙂
Usually for me the girl was on second playthrough of pokemon games but I don't now because there is to much content to reset and I like to battle my cousins alot and can't really tell them so I have to wait till the next generation and reset all my progress or just have an alternative account for me and playing with cousins (im kinda stuck and would like help tell me your solutions to this please) (luckily I can play spinoff games as a girl since they never have cross compatible gameplay)
9:20, I think I know the exact video you are talking about, cuz i did the same lol. 100% NOT for kids
i wish i tranced more, sooner when i was younger
I love this Wii fit music
When I was 4 in 2006, I knew of transgender people but my mom had explained it as "they just woke up one day with a beard" (the example was a trans guy)
So i thought trans women would just wake up with boobs and just roll with it until i was 13.
❤I've grown up under the impression as a cis male. Lies ,❤
Epic plushie
Like wearing girl clothes and watching trans content,and hugs blahaj 🦈 but still cis🤭🤗
Idk why I'm watching this I'm totally cis- oh shit wait I've been on hrt for 2 years how did this happen? Still cis though
I've always known I was trans 😎
Cisn’t
❤❤😊
ammendment to old comment, for sure had more signs
I love epic plushies
Epic plushie!
wooo new video
HIII :333
EPIC PLUSHIE ;-)
Am I cis?
Only you can decide
Trans kirito!!
St- still cis tho.....???
E\pic plushie