Religious Trauma: My recovery method
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.พ. 2021
- Hi friends! This is the method I used -and continue to use -to expose my mental patterns and take conscious steps towards who i intend to be.
Thank you for watching !
Below is the link to the religious trauma course I mention.
resiliencetraining.teachable....
It’s been five years for me and I’m still unlearning a lot. This is real.
Religion traumatized the hell out of me and stopped me from being able to enjoy sexual pleasure. I've been in a relationship for 2 years now, my girlfriend was in a religious cult and I helped her escape from it, and I was born in that same cult that she was brainwashed into joining
Now I'm free but sadly I struggle with enjoying sexual pleasure without feeling extreme guilt/torment. It's a struggle.... so much pain inside damn
This is so helpful. I grew up in baptist churches. And even though I always questioned the faith and never believed what they believed, I still internalized a lot of those self-shaming feelings. I think that was also instilled in me through my mom's way of teaching us not to be bad kids (she grew up catholic). It didn't help that I also grew up in the bible belt so even when we stopped going to church and I was allowed to just exist as myself, I was shamed by my peers for "being a devil worshipper" (because not going to church apparently meant you worshipped the devil lol).
lol at not going to church = devil worship. It's either black or white right? haha. I'm glad that this was helpful for you, and that you were allowed to exist as yourself, that's the dream! Thank you for sharing your story!
What a confusing experience you have had especially when you have grown up going to church and being around "believers " who were supposed to be loving and caring and sympathetic but we're the opposite of what Jesus was and taught. Though being a good child is a universal teaching you took it in a negative light. You also mentioned you never had intentions of going to Church and knowing God or the Bible so you were basically taught things you had no desire of knowing anyways. And because you are no longer in that environment and able to think for yourself you feel a little bit better but some of the teachings have stayed with you in which you are now struggling with. Can you elaborate on what these beliefs are and how they are affecting you today?
Hi Angel! Thank so much for increasing awareness around religious trauma. As a therapist who specializes in religious trauma, it is encouraging to see folx with large audiences opening up the space to talk about such a huge issue! 🙌
Thank you Hannah, I hope that people find you through this and I know you will provide much needed help!
Journaling gave me the ability to see my thoughts on paper and question their origin. It helped me differentiate what thoughts were my own and what thoughts were the ideology I was raised in
Crying 🥺 I have major anxiety due to being raised in church and being grounded when I didn’t want to go every Sunday or Wednesday or event and when I messed up or “sinned” I got shunned and portrayed as a rebel and always felt so alone and misunderstood. I loved worship because it let me escape… but really I was just escaping from the shame and guilt I felt from everyone around me
I'm sorry to hear that was your experience. I understand how you were feeling. Where do you find joy now?
Maybe you were ex jw or ex mormon? I’m sorry you experienced this, I hope we heal so much
growing up christian was so damaging to me. i was constantly told that i was a worthless piece of garbage and that only by being in the glory of god or whatever did i have the right to feel good about myself. it amazes me how little ppl realize how this is literally just an abusive relationship. "worship me or ill k#ll you" is essentially the message of the bible. what if your bf/gf said that to their partner? ppl would think theyre insane! in addition, whenever i mentioned struggling with my mental health (ptsd, depression, and anxiety from abuse) i was always told it was because i was "sinning too much" or "not praying hard enough". ugh. gross! such invalidating things to say. so happy im not a christian anymore. ever since leaving christianity ive felt less s#icidal and feel more self-confident because my worth comes from me and not some old fantasy book that ppl somehow believe as facts. thank you for this video. im still recovering from my religious trauma and having videos like this that serve as both relatability and a guide are so helpful
This is so important ❤️ I made two videos about this because it’s so important today. Religious trauma leads to so much self sabotage. Journaling has helped me too
Yes it leads to so much self sabotage, but I'm so glad that you found your way out! And that you like journaling too!!
That's so true! I am currently going through terrible self doubt and sabotage myself. It started when l joined evangelical Christianity. It taught me that my essential nature is wrong. Can't seem to shake the feeling that lm worthless in the eyes of God without Jesus. What an awful religion.
I'm 14, and in I haven't grown up in a religious environment but a couple months ago I got guilt tripped online by a bunch of Christians talking about the End Times and repenting and stuff. It never used to bother me but ever since then I've been feeling sooo guilty about my sexuality and not following God, and I just can't man
Almost in the same exact issue...
My dad was very abusive towards me emotionally, day 1 this method has brought so much healing to me. Thank you Angel!
❤. Thank you so much for this video!!!! I've had some awful religious abuse and need this kind of help and advice!! Hard to find!! 😢😢.
Aww, I'm proud of you for all these videos. You always have really good things to say that most the time make me cry just because I can relate so much. There are so many built-in safeties that you have to like, remember to carefully un-booby-trap yourself from thinking. It was my birthday a couple days ago and I got a lot of texts/calls from family and it was exhausting just to say "Thanks!" not that I didn't appreciate them, but just because I am bitter and resentful about growing up in such a religiously traumatic home and I'm also the only atheist I'm aware of in my family. I'm also adopted so I have so much going on in my brain on my birthday, this was the perfect Valentine's Day video for me! Thank you, Angel!
Thank you so much! I'm happy that you are healing and observing yourself, you are worth getting to know! And happy belated birthday!!
It hurts when I hear others speak about feeling alone in their disbelief. That feeling was so familiar to me when I first left religion, and one I sometimes still struggle with. You aren't alone, friend. There are millions of us out here.
As someone far along on the road to healing, I wish I had watched this 8 years ago when the journey began.
The journey is always now. I hope its helpful wherever you are.
I wish I could put how much your videos are helping me into words. Thank you so very much!
Thank you so much! I remember trying to convince myself to do them and fighting against so much conditioning to remain unseen. But I figured if it could help one person, it would be worth working through the fear. I am so glad to hear that they help! Thank you for saying that.
@@AngelDeSantis That makes a lot of sense! And you are so so strong for fighting through that barrier ❤️❤️ wishing you so much peace and happiness
❤ Thank You 😇, You made my Valentine's Day with this Video! You Are very Good at what you are doing and helping People with Healing the Religious Trauma Wound. I Honour You!🌟👑
Thank you Julie!!
I love the advice of not judging yourself for where you were and where you currently are. Being raised in conservative christianity my brain was constantly policing itself about everything and it led to me having my first of many panic attacks at age 6, night terrors, sleep issues and developing an anxiety disorder. It's been a long process detangling the indoctrination and dogma from my brain and I can be really hard on myself for not being completely over it now that I am a adult. Thanks for the video! I am on the journey!
This hit a little too hard. Cannot put into words how much I needed to hear these words. Thankyou so much for making this video
You are very welcome, Charles. Thank you for watching. I hope you remember that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone and there are people who want to see you thrive. Keep fighting your battle, I'm rooting for you.
This is great thank you.
I can’t begin to tell you how helpful this was 🎉thank you so very very much !!! So many things you said are exactly what I deal with everyday. I’m moving towards healing from religion. Thank you 🙏
@@stanbourne7776 thank you!!! I’m so glad to hear it! 🫶🙏
I like it!....... I started journaling 20 years ago and it has been very helpful to me..... I can write anything in it (it never rejects me 😂 ) ....I also started in mindfulness which helps me stay in the moment instead of focusing on the past or future..... my last pastor in church even encouraged us to take a deep breath when things feel unstable.....this pandemic makes me miss my church I hope its the same when I go back!
lol that it never rejects you, I didn't think of that, but so true! And it looks like things are slowly getting back to normal, I hope you are able to find peace at church when you go back.
thank you very much for all the hard work and time youve put into helping yourself and sharing it with the world. im excited to try this method.
I'm really messed up right now and I appreciate this very much ❤️
Hang in there Steve, you’re not alone. Wishing you calmer seas ahead.
In time things get better your in the right track
Thank you so much 🥰💕 for this ☺️ I appreciate it very much as you know
@@steveerickson519 ❤️❤️ all in this together
how you been?
Don’t even think you are a bad person cause you are not everyone is not
Thank you for the journal part. Others talk similarly but don't talk about writing it out.
Took me years with the same therapist to even risk having a discussion on this topic. The fear is real.
I realize I often do short out my idea with a "but" before i finish the thought.
It's so difficult because i believe in the core for the most part but not all of it and don't really feel like burning in Hell either.
I switched churches which is crazy how much less stressed i feel after these sermons vs the last church. However I am vary leary about trusting anyone there or being known as the one who will volunteer. Once you are known as one who is willing to help.....in the past I felt guilty if i said no. However i like the idea of church just don't find a perfect match to my beliefs.
Thanks a lot for this video! You're right only a few steps but tough to get through them.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughtful and practical application of your method. Mindfulness, bringing previously subconscious thoughts and behaviors into consciousness, does seem to be the best way to make lasting changes and brings me so much peace and understanding to those areas of ‘intentional confusion’ that were established in my religious upbringing. It’s a daily struggle for me not to be angry or resentful, but as I Ask, Observe, and then Decide I am slowly regaining control of the internal narrative and by extension, my external responses. It’s a long road for me, but smoothing out these potholes sure makes the ride better not just for me but also those around me who have their own journeys to navigate.
I'm so glad that you are taking back your internal narrative! It's a long road for me too, but I'm glad we are taking it !
Thank you so much for sharing this. Still recovering from the trauma here.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Great!❤❤❤
I'm taking a step back from my religion and this video helped me a lot, thank you
I'm glad it was helpful! Keep trusting yourself!
Wow this video was amazing Angel, you really are an angel :) Thank you from the bottom of my wounded heart thank you.
Reminds me of "Angle" song by Aerosmith! Not many people can say that's REALLY there name!😁
love your helpful videos.
4:39 Im not able to afford therapy at the moment but still looking for ways to heal, glad I found this video
I totally understand, I couldn't afford therapy for years until I found someone who did a sliding scale. Keep on reading/ finding help. I also send out a weekly email with self guided inquiry if you want a little extra direction!
@@AngelDeSantis how can I sign in ?
@@SamTechWorld9 www.theprocessbyangel.com/join-mailing-list
Happy valentines Angel 💖thanks for sharing and helping.
Thank you Michelle! Happy Valentine to you too! Thankful for you! ✨🙏🏻
Brilliant 🙏🌟
Thank you so much for sharing this!!
You are so welcome!
Thank you ! I have suffered this a lot
Huh, I was aware of the observe, decide because of meditation. But I was never asking myself any questions and I think that's my underdeveloped part. I've had years of practice blanking out my mind, listening to my breath out of sheer boredom in church. I feel like I generally float through life in analysis mode so this is great info for me. Thank you!
You're very welcome! And yes ask yourself questions!! The action of searching for your own questions/answers is so beneficial even if you don't believe all your answers right away, start giving your brain permission to practice your own thoughts!
Well stated. You’re not alone.
Thank you soo much this has helped me a lot!! 😊💯
Thank you! I'm so glad!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You are so welcome!
Thank you ✊️
Thank you!!
What a beautiful painting you have back there :)
Thank you! It's from Cambodia!
Looking into therapist and author Dr Boyd C Purcell helped me and many others ALOT!
Wow. I have always thought I was a bad person. Thank you for saying out loud that’s not my fault
Thank you so much 😭
Thank you so much for these videos. Also, I can’t stop thinking about how beautiful you are watching these😂
You're welcome! And thanks!
Thank you
Very true
On my way to healing :)
I already knew I had religious trauma but being in an environment were LITERALLY everyone I love and care about is religious it is sooo like damn. Sometimes it really really gets to you. I just really want out. Can't even talk to them about your religious trauma cause they are still trapped
I’m trapped in a cycle of anger towards religious leaders within my former faith group. I don’t think this method will work for that.
It might not work exclusively, but it can play a part in figuring out your inner landscape better. Try it 😊
The problem is that while people who got traumatized area still sick and feeling the symptoms of RELIGIOSU PTSD, we keep getting bombarded by religious propaganda in youtube. Even when I search for your videos, I get an ad promoting the love of God, so I keep being trapped in the emotional anxiety and fear. when what I need is to be let alone and in peace-. I hate being in a city where citicens havbe taught me to hate them by the way they treated me.
It can be pretty helpful that I have actually been doing journaling for a long time dealing with religious trauma on looking up things TikTok and TH-cam where they say things like astrology and yoga is demonic and claim other religious views are the devil to them make me feel like I am going to hell and way.
What i find so difficult is the worry about being affected by evil spirits. Since being involved with spirituality and the church i became aware of subtle energies or feelings or how ever they are interpreted and because i listened to all this teaching i have that constant fear and doubt about it, like what is the truth and why do i feel these things. Is church right about it or is it all in my head and haa just become a huge fear in my life which i get triggered by little things for example like watching something on TV that church might think is ungodly which makes me fear that i might be or could be having issues with evil spirits.
How does one get over this issue? Ive had so much suffering in my life and all i can think is... is this god punishing me for being gay. Is he letting this happen. (I was told by a number of people in church that God will allow me to suffer and be attacked by satan because i am gay) so how do i break this fear, this doubt.
I’m into spirituality too and also have these same fears. I obviously believe in spirits or energies or whatever but idk if it’s good or bad ones. But where does the concept of good and bad even come from? I always have issues now. I wanna get back into spirituality but how do I trust it? Is witchcraft only a concept of these Christian people. I believe we’re all natural energy or spiritual beings or something. I put it this way whatever energy I have got me away from this toxic Christian shit but now I’m scared because where did it come from and is it good or is it just me high self……idk🤔😅
I understand. For me church planting the fear that if its not in the bible its not God, and also worry have I been lead astray from church. But every time I have that worry I tell my self the people who put fear into our heads who use religion to control us have no evidence and it is not a fact, plus if God is so powerful and has authority then why do we even have to worry. But some of us are more sensitive to others, especially if we feel emotions, energies or anything else. Since leaving christianity and new age I just try to ignore it because I can honestly say I do not know. Everyone has a differnt answer. Can I really feel energies or is it my imagination or interpretation of something that is happening. I don't know the answer to that either. Spiritualists would say one thing and psychologists would give another explanation. What I do know is since leaving church I don't worry no where near as much as I did about Satan because I just think there us no evidence and all the people I know out of church get on with their life with no worries or suspected attacks from evil spirits. New age can also teach fearful things too. I think best thing we can do is be kind to our self and trust our self. Other peoples experiences amd beliefs shouldn't shape us. We know our self better than they do. X
@@salkashoura4928 I absolutely agree. I’m doing better now and I realized I was in a intense state of trauma that I’m still overcoming but yes fear to there number one tool and once I overcame that I was able to overcome the whole thing. There’s no evidence of it and all the research I’m doing shows that religious books are literally mythology written by men but people believe in it just because it’s been around along time. I think spirituality is what most people are looking for but through different lense like religion and stuff but they all talk about the same peace and love feeling that either had and want. I don’t believe in evil spirits anymore I think when we tap into the spiritual realm we just can’t handle it in our natural bodies and I feel like it’s probably not something we should be doing so I just wanna be normal I don’t want religion or spirituality but I’m still trying to overcome to affect of subliminals. I’m in pain all the time and went to Christianity to “cast out the demons” but everything got worse the more they prayed for me lol so yea I’m just gonna undo it the same way I did it. I learned how not to stress anymore and I’m still in a derealization state and I don’t feel like myself most days. Everything will be fine though. Everyone dies and nobody seems to be worried about dying unless they believe in hell or something but average people live with no worries and that the point I wanna be at.
One important thing for me was being comfortable in my body. I suffered dissociation too so I know how that feels. Oyr brains are powerful. If we have an experience then we can easily be re triggered into the feeling of that experience by something that reminds us of the experience. I too hoped for church to heal me but sadly it broke me more. They tell us we are broken and we don't need to be told we are broken anymore.
I watched a documentary recently and it was good because I was reminded that seeking healing is good but if we seek too much and keep our focus just on trying to get better, be free or heal the pain then we end up reinforcing that there must be something so wrong with us which feeds into it even more. And reality is church teach that. It keeps feeding into it. Deliverance feeds into it so evertytime we feel or perceive something negative we think of the worst. Its hard if ultimately we have believed we are broken or unworthy or not good enough because then we just want to keep healing.
I'm working through an ocd workbook which is something I needed to do but one of the most important part of recover for me is leaning into the uncertainty and breaking that cycle of constant trying to find something to neutralise the issue, pain, or emotion.
Best thing we can do I learn to be. Accept our self and nurture our self. Part of nurturing my self was turning away from deliverance ministry because that was like I was just telling my self I'm evil, I'm not right and need more healing which logically is only reinforcing that something is not right which produces more negative issues. Uff what a cycle. Hope you get some relief from your pain! I do think self love, and love from others is still very powerful
You are going to the wrong church. GET OUT NOW!
Find an Episcopal, United Church of Christ, or one of the theologicaly liberal strains of Presbyterianism or Lutheranism.
I have seen that Priests preach so many times that we are imperfect and a the same time the needs for quality of the market system impose another layer of perfection in skills and experience that I am feeling like a piece of shit,even that was not my intent to feel that way back when I was a child.
Did you develop the AOD method for yourself or did you hear about it from someone else?
I learned it on my own because it was what worked for me at the time. I think it helped a lot with healing my mind and going into my logical side. I am now learning to go into my heart.
Thanks for your reply. 🙏
I needed this so much, the beginning made me cry, it’s so hard to let go of these thoughts 🥲 this was so helpful, thank you💗
I think that what I hate the most about this religious doctrine is that because we are human and limited we are judged as if we were perfect like an aternal God, which is ridiculous, and induced to always feel not good enough confused, forced to forgive, son of a bitches, made to feel not worthy of having our on mind and conclusions, or to be disapointed or angry at this religious beliefs.and all of these on top of PTDS symptoms. It is just too much pressure too much to endure too much for our brains to endure.
I have lots of self hate. I wish I wasn't this way. Most of the time I feel I am just killing time until I die.
I'm so sorry you feel that way. I understand it. Keep on killing time, but start to kill it with things you enjoy. Sending support your way!
I constantly think God's going to give me herpes and HIV and he's constantly going to smite me and punish me for every little bad thing I do. I have bad OCD the Bible stories don't help like Noah's ark throwing an entire rock at the earth because of sinners
Confusion is not from God, yes people tend to have power trip issues, usually from a ace of hurt or ignorance, the trick is to just know God loves you, I've learnt that after all my trauma, His love is enough because I don't deserve it, pray that he reveals himself to you in a way that will help you
These atheist were too self centered to remain Christians.. They felt uncomfortable being their brother's keeper and serving as positive examples.. So no alternative left but to excape
Jared, I see that you are watching and commenting on quite a few videos. If you don't agree with my point of view that's fine, but your judgments of "you're not good enough to be christian" is bullshit and unwelcome here. I hope you start asking yourself the right questions and let your brain evolve into qualitative thinking.
JARED- These humans are too self honest to any longer endure the lies, hypocrisy, denial, and fear based living of their religious community.
They are not comfortable maintaining the lies that keep their brothers and sisters in darkness. They are aware of the lack of positive examples in the church so yes, escape is the best 1st plan.
@@bellezavudd They have chosen not to believe the lie, but their institutions are worse of than those who believe the lies.
I believe lies and come up with a better plan, run better learning institutions, handle crisis better, solve problems quicker and more long lasting, more compassionate...The list goes on.
Lets admit there is something these liars," brothers and sisters' in darkness know that we dont know. Dont you think?
A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO RUNS AWAY FROM A HALFWAY HOUSE DOESNT HURT THE INSTITUTION
@@jared2244
"Their institutions are worse"
I have no idea what that even means. These people have no institutuons. they have nothing but their will and passion to survive what they've been through. And hopefully they will rise to greater heights of strength and love.
Are you doing something here that can propel/inspire them into a better space ? Im sure that would be appreciated by all.
@@bellezavudd I have no idea what that even mean" You have no idea when someone says their institutions are worse? Then there is no need to further engage
Thank you so much , and I am really proud of you🫶🏻🤍