I saw the preview for this and Fassbender said something along the lines of "the Spanish Inquisition, I wasn't expecting that". I wanted to yell out NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
I come back and watch this video whenever I am having a bad day because your laughter is so contagious. I never even saw this ridiculous ass movie! 😂 but this video is the tits. Thanks for being my favorite youtube duo!! 💞💞
This movie was pretty much made for the fans of the games it seems like. I played a lot of them and they're centered around a lot of the stuff that was mentioned... still a tad stupid though
it sounds like this movie was the experience of coming in 15 late to a meeting and being too scared to ask some what you missed. A hot guy is also at the meeting.
My favorite review so far. Could not stop laughing "It was like he was being bar code scanned" killed me lol I love the game, haven't seen the movie yet Now i really want to
I knew the games were dumb (the combat made it kinda fun?) so the movie had to be dumb... and when you two couldn't breathe over that damn apple I cried 💝😂😂
hey MovieBitches, you forgot to say his spanish accent (as a spanish person) was terrible and the whole movie is a mix off Prince of Persia, Indiana Jones and maybe a little of one of those horrid Nicolas Cage treasure hunt movies. Thanks for the review.
This movie sounds like Moana. Like a heart thing that controls people, the like ancestor-memory thing and the mother (or grandma) is represented as an animal
aww man, I was hoping they'd drop the whole sci-fi genetic framing story and just stick the whole movie in the past, and learn about the Templars vs the assassins from there. Much less convoluted that way.
Sometimes these stories get so convoluted. In the Assassin's Creed 3 there a was an alternate timeline dlc where George Washington was evil and possessed by the Apple. And you had to go around and kill the founding fathers of America (who were controlled by George, Not gonna lie, I cried when Benjamin Franklin died.) With some Native American supernatural powers, gained by drinking some red Willow tree tea. The only thing remotely interesting was the pyramid that George's slaves built. MASSIVE. AND BEAUTIFUL.
I liked the ancestor memory thing in the games because it made them slightly different from just being a person in period costume killing people. The fact that everything was an illusion of your ancestor's life was basically someones 'genius' idea to cover all the usual plot holes like why your character knows where the bad guys are, why you can die and just come back to life etc. Idk why they thought it was a good idea for a movie -edit- i think it was trying to do a matrix thing, where it contrasted the virtual exciting world with the dull real world, but in the matrix, the real world got more interesting. -edit- You guys just made a matrix reference i'll see myself out
It's been updated now :) kind of hope Avaryl & Andrew reacted something like this: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/1a/d7/b2/1ad7b2ee69f8f79ae6654606bf3eb75f.gif
This movie should have been like modern day is just a frame narrative for like a minute. And then most of the movie is the Spanish Inquisition because he needs to like find out something about his ancestors and why he's special. And then in the past he finds where his ancestor hid the apple or whatever. But only the side he doesn't FBI knows he is can open it. But since his ancestor banged someone on the other side and he's the descendent he's light AND dark and then he finds it and has to choose to be light or dark and he chooses and destroys it.
I HAVE A THEORY. I don't think casting the two of them as the leads in this movie was a coincidence because assassins' creed is all about like tracing your genes to ancestors that were assassins in their time and Macbeth and Lady Macbeth were one of the first very well known assassins in ancient Scotland. Also, in the play, Macbeth recruits assassins to do his dirty job like killing Fleance and Macduff's wife and sons so he was definitely the founder of an Assassin group. I rest my case.
I love the videogames and I hope the movie doesn't disappoint. Maybe you two could've looked in on that to get an idea of what the movie was supposed to be based off of.
Very interesting to hear your review of this, as people who hadn't played the games so didn't have as much of a context. I have played them and still found this movie a hot mess. I can only imagine how weird and confusing it would seem to someone who had no concept of the backstory. Essentially what makes the games so interesting is you getting to be the ancestor and explore these ancient places. A little bit of wish fulfillment, if you will. But this movie basically removes most of that. If they had spent 90% of the time in the past, so you essentially forget that you're watching a simulation (which is how the games do it), I think it wouldn't been a vastly superior movie.
Can you guys do a Kickstarter of some sort where one of the rewards is guesting on an episode? Cause I really want to get drunk with you guys and talk movies or Drag Race...
If this movie was like the games where there's only a little bit of the laboratory stuff in the beginning, then once he gets inside of the animus it's just historical assassin badass parkour death for like 95% of the movie then a little bit of the post "we just discovered what the fuck we were looking for, so now we're gonna all race for it and see who wins." I would have loved that. The games were very aware that the science was all bullshit and made a lot of effort to just integrate you into the history to the point where you forget that there's all this laboratory science stuff happening until the end (or at least only subtle bits of it throughout). This movie did the opposite and worried too much about the science stuff. Still fun to watch for the action nonetheless.
Yeah the video games plots dont make any sense so i was NOT expectiong that movie to makeany sense Either lmao !!... Apparently all of this none sense is about ALIENS...so yeah i drop the games pretty fast ! Like Bye, Felicia !
im so not ok that the dad just let her wife's dead body lay there and let their son sees it and what does that stupid fucking apple does anyway?! if it is that powerful, how is that sultan still vulnerable???
Can you guys do a review of Valmont (1989 movie with Colin Firth)? I feel like it got overshadowed by the '88 movie, even though Colin Firth kisses a derrière in this one lol. Plss
The video games are mainly just history ,killing ,history ,killing, history, little Darren brown stuff,history, killing, history They've kinda ignored the apple of Eden in the later games as no one cares
I watched 25min of this movie and i was like: girl bye. Maybe ill watch it someday being aware (thanks to you) that i was right: this movie is so bad. As soon as that eagle comes up that rocky cool music... No. Thank you next
It sound like the under lying science that some experiences are passed down in genetics eg fears and habits. This has been tested to some extent. But it's not understood
Are y'all sure you didn't play the game? Cuz the movie had the same problem to the game. Wanted to just play the game in the past and run around killing bad guys instead of returning to a boring present to listen to people talk.
the games are really good, i'd recommend them, but the movie was terrible, so so terrible. I'd like to see you guys review games like you do movies, that would be so funny!
I played the game, and let me tell you this. Making a movie based on a game that make game simulation to explore the past from genetics about assassins and templars, even tho in real history the assassins and templars never met.... it sounds as bad as touching your poop and lick it. The game franchise is now kinda shitty and shittier, and they make a movie about it. Good choice XD
uhm no this is NOT how the game is AT ALL. yes the whole coporation thing exist but its the setup. the film should be 10-20 minutes setup of the organization and what they do and the rest of the film would be during the crusades. they also could have left all that mess out and just give us a "prequel" of sorts and leave out all of that present day crap, i mean it is a film so take out that which doesnt work in the game. they dont even advertise the modern day stuff for the game thats how meaningless it is. but i guess they needed to do it so they can make an excuse for hiring a bunch of gringos to play latinos lol. i dont know chile. this was a major miss. also the whole dna being passed down through dna/blood isnt a new theory its a super old spiritual belief and some scientists have theorized its true. to each their own, i personally believe in it. if a jewish boy can turn water into wine why not this too? its not that odd lol.
The movie did a bad way at explaining the genetic memory part of the series. In short said over how the Animus works is that it translates the genetic memory in 3D images in the Animus while also translating the language of the Ancestor to more English AKA the movie did not do that. The one who uses the Animus can also feel the same as the ancestor because he is in his/her ancestors mind reliving the memory, the user can feel and smell what the ancestor did to. Genetic memory is based on a real life theory that we humans have codes in us from our ancestors AKA the genetic memory's. We have all the memory from our ancestors in us untill you get conceived and well that is it mostly I don't understand why that is hard to understand hell Hulk get's created by science and Spiderman gets bitten by a spider and he gets super powers and everyone buys that but genetic memory makes no sense? In Harry Potter they use magic from a wand and Star Wars they shoot lightning out of their fingers but genetic memory goes to far? The games, books and etc do a much better job at explaining things than the movie also and better than me hell they explained it in the first 10 minutes of AC1 the game. The Apple of Eden from the movie makes zero sense and contradicts things from the games way to much I was like in the cinema ''... WTF! that is not how it works''. I do blame the movie writers for such bad exposition though
I saw the preview for this and Fassbender said something along the lines of "the Spanish Inquisition, I wasn't expecting that". I wanted to yell out NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
And if you do, it's not the I N Q U I S I T I O N!
The first 5 minutes of this review was more entertaining than the entirety of the film.
Avaryl's film knowledge is amazing, I'm always impressed by her.
11:42 - but what if the eagle is the distant cousin of Steven Seagull from The Shallows (because... genetics?)
+Jordie Schmeiser YAS!!!! You totally get us.
yaaaassss!!! c'mon outlandish conspiracy theories!
#sidebar, maybe you two could do a q&a video when you hit 10k subscribers!!!
Jordie Schmeiser Is that you M. Night Shymalan?
I come back and watch this video whenever I am having a bad day because your laughter is so contagious. I never even saw this ridiculous ass movie! 😂 but this video is the tits. Thanks for being my favorite youtube duo!! 💞💞
what I thought was odd is that it showed the Fassbenders ancestor dying, but with no kids or indication that he had kids??
mistress of the dark Yeah true. I noticed that too. Kind of messes with the whole premise.
the laughing fit at 5:10 is one of my favorite things ever. You guys are a delight. :)
This movie was pretty much made for the fans of the games it seems like. I played a lot of them and they're centered around a lot of the stuff that was mentioned... still a tad stupid though
Tomb Raider footage?
In my MovieBitches?
It's more likely than you think! (And I love it. Best of both worlds etc.)
16:55 Andrew did not even recognize Fassbender in Spanish acquisition😂
"I was DECIEVED"
Okay here we go let's do this
it sounds like this movie was the experience of coming in 15 late to a meeting and being too scared to ask some what you missed. A hot guy is also at the meeting.
I saw a movie called "Wigstock" in your VHS stack. Now I have something to watch later today :-D
This movie was dri-fit bad
Love when Andrew fixes the movie! And thanks for the review. I now know I can watch to see on cable
My favorite review so far. Could not stop laughing "It was like he was being bar code scanned" killed me lol I love the game, haven't seen the movie yet Now i really want to
I knew the games were dumb (the combat made it kinda fun?) so the movie had to be dumb... and when you two couldn't breathe over that damn apple I cried 💝😂😂
Anders Millon The games are awesome and fun and way more interesting than this movie.
greaaaaat reference with "Dracula: Dead and Loving it"!!!!
hey MovieBitches, you forgot to say his spanish accent (as a spanish person) was terrible and the whole movie is a mix off Prince of Persia, Indiana Jones and maybe a little of one of those horrid Nicolas Cage treasure hunt movies. Thanks for the review.
I keep coming back to this video just to see the shock on Andrews face at 16:59 when he realizes that Fassy was the guy in the olden times 🤣
Andrew laughing uncontrollably is making my cucu moist #floodmybasement
This movie sounds like Moana. Like a heart thing that controls people, the like ancestor-memory thing and the mother (or grandma) is represented as an animal
Another episode! This is a great week :-D
My wife loves this video game series so we went to see it in theatre and it ruined our fucking date night. Goddamn you movie
'I was told he was going to be shirtless' girl i feel you
Thanks again bitches! Oh and your laughter is contagious.
I like how they've never played the games, but fell upon the core problems that people have with the games :p
aww man, I was hoping they'd drop the whole sci-fi genetic framing story and just stick the whole movie in the past, and learn about the Templars vs the assassins from there. Much less convoluted that way.
Andrew lmao "i had to just get over it, i was like 'okay'" bahahahaahahah
Micheal Fassbender needs to be in a movie where he's just always shirtless
Sometimes these stories get so convoluted. In the Assassin's Creed 3 there a was an alternate timeline dlc where George Washington was evil and possessed by the Apple. And you had to go around and kill the founding fathers of America (who were controlled by George, Not gonna lie, I cried when Benjamin Franklin died.) With some Native American supernatural powers, gained by drinking some red Willow tree tea. The only thing remotely interesting was the pyramid that George's slaves built. MASSIVE. AND BEAUTIFUL.
omg love the solid minute of laughter! so contagious i couldnt breathe 😂
I liked the ancestor memory thing in the games because it made them slightly different from just being a person in period costume killing people. The fact that everything was an illusion of your ancestor's life was basically someones 'genius' idea to cover all the usual plot holes like why your character knows where the bad guys are, why you can die and just come back to life etc.
Idk why they thought it was a good idea for a movie
-edit-
i think it was trying to do a matrix thing, where it contrasted the virtual exciting world with the dull real world, but in the matrix, the real world got more interesting.
-edit-
You guys just made a matrix reference i'll see myself out
Well that and the games made it clear that it was happening in the future so it made the chair simulation thing more plausible.
true.
You guys should do a review on THE NEON DEMON it's a must watch. Very much what am I watching type of movie, but it's very visually stunning.
This is the best review ever omfg. Thank you for giving me some laughs after a terrible day!
Sorry to be this guy, but assassins is spelt wrong in the title of the video - I want people to be able to find your amazing videos!
+Craig Fitzwilliam 😆
It's been updated now :) kind of hope Avaryl & Andrew reacted something like this: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/1a/d7/b2/1ad7b2ee69f8f79ae6654606bf3eb75f.gif
that is how I felt about LA la land. great movie but it needed shirtless Ryan gosling.
Rachel Frumkin assasins creed was not great
I got that from the video. Also not what I commented but thanks for the random input.
I think you guys are fab, thumbs up from UK. Also could you revue some older movies, especially Judy Garland films like A Star Is Born
This movie should have been like modern day is just a frame narrative for like a minute. And then most of the movie is the Spanish Inquisition because he needs to like find out something about his ancestors and why he's special. And then in the past he finds where his ancestor hid the apple or whatever. But only the side he doesn't FBI knows he is can open it. But since his ancestor banged someone on the other side and he's the descendent he's light AND dark and then he finds it and has to choose to be light or dark and he chooses and destroys it.
I think everyone was deceived by this movie
Most people expected it to be mostly set in the past and it really wasn't ....
If you wanna see Fassie Shirtless... and more... see 'Shame'!
I mean, you guys are the saviours of so many evenings of mine! i really laugh a lot with you :) thank you
I HAVE A THEORY. I don't think casting the two of them as the leads in this movie was a coincidence because assassins' creed is all about like tracing your genes to ancestors that were assassins in their time and Macbeth and Lady Macbeth were one of the first very well known assassins in ancient Scotland. Also, in the play, Macbeth recruits assassins to do his dirty job like killing Fleance and Macduff's wife and sons so he was definitely the founder of an Assassin group. I rest my case.
have they ever done a video on they met and stuff like that cuz id really like that and if they have, what is it?
I Totally agree guys! Keep on with videos, you are so funny ;P Whatcing you from Italy
I felt like you were doing the "Tyra Sandwich" voice A LOT!
So pissed The Mummy is getting remade ...
Fences, Moonlight, or Hidden Figures? Please review at least one of them?
Thank you for this! Me and my husband thought we were going crazy! As ir we were part of a joke we didn't get
It's Evie and Jacob Frye lol
I love the videogames and I hope the movie doesn't disappoint. Maybe you two could've looked in on that to get an idea of what the movie was supposed to be based off of.
TacoTray Qualls i liked the movie...so did my son...we're ready for another one...IF it happens
Very interesting to hear your review of this, as people who hadn't played the games so didn't have as much of a context. I have played them and still found this movie a hot mess. I can only imagine how weird and confusing it would seem to someone who had no concept of the backstory.
Essentially what makes the games so interesting is you getting to be the ancestor and explore these ancient places. A little bit of wish fulfillment, if you will. But this movie basically removes most of that. If they had spent 90% of the time in the past, so you essentially forget that you're watching a simulation (which is how the games do it), I think it wouldn't been a vastly superior movie.
Review Hurricane Bianca!!
LOVE from Brazil💕
Can you guys do a Kickstarter of some sort where one of the rewards is guesting on an episode? Cause I really want to get drunk with you guys and talk movies or Drag Race...
If this movie was like the games where there's only a little bit of the laboratory stuff in the beginning, then once he gets inside of the animus it's just historical assassin badass parkour death for like 95% of the movie then a little bit of the post "we just discovered what the fuck we were looking for, so now we're gonna all race for it and see who wins." I would have loved that.
The games were very aware that the science was all bullshit and made a lot of effort to just integrate you into the history to the point where you forget that there's all this laboratory science stuff happening until the end (or at least only subtle bits of it throughout). This movie did the opposite and worried too much about the science stuff.
Still fun to watch for the action nonetheless.
If you play the games you'll understand the world the movie exists in more (especially the Animus) but most gamers thought the movie was garbage.
Im personally offended that Andrew wore pants and had his legs crossed to hide what his mama gave him
Yeah the video games plots dont make any sense so i was NOT expectiong that movie to makeany sense Either lmao !!... Apparently all of this none sense is about ALIENS...so yeah i drop the games pretty fast ! Like Bye, Felicia !
review jackii please.. also la la land... and that new star wars movie
+ranoona5 Jackie is in our 2016 recap, La La Land is coming next!
im so not ok that the dad just let her wife's dead body lay there and let their son sees it
and what does that stupid fucking apple does anyway?!
if it is that powerful, how is that sultan still vulnerable???
I LOVE YOU BITCHES!
Can you guys do a review of Valmont (1989 movie with Colin Firth)? I feel like it got overshadowed by the '88 movie, even though Colin Firth kisses a derrière in this one lol. Plss
+EAveline omg Valmont is so good!!
The video games are mainly just history ,killing ,history ,killing, history, little Darren brown stuff,history, killing, history
They've kinda ignored the apple of Eden in the later games as no one cares
Once you play the video game, it will make more sense to you.
anyone else slightly thrown off when Andrew isn't wearing shorts?
Please do a review on "Passengers"
+Joenn Kim it's coming!
MovieBitches YAS QUEEN
Fassy and Gleeson Scottish? Oh no, you di'nt...
I'm sorry, did you just say Michael Fassbender was SCOTTISH??? Unsubscribed (just kidding but what the hell).
I watched 25min of this movie and i was like: girl bye. Maybe ill watch it someday being aware (thanks to you) that i was right: this movie is so bad. As soon as that eagle comes up that rocky cool music... No. Thank you next
Also... That animus (enemas... Coffee enemas?) Reminded me of that awful keanu reeves movie when his whole family dies.
It sound like the under lying science that some experiences are passed down in genetics eg fears and habits. This has been tested to some extent. But it's not understood
22:07
No that ghost assassin was that chick-with-a-bob's mom
the funny thing is that the game is just like the movie, no one cares about the modern day stuff and you always just rush through it.
Are y'all sure you didn't play the game? Cuz the movie had the same problem to the game. Wanted to just play the game in the past and run around killing bad guys instead of returning to a boring present to listen to people talk.
the games are really good, i'd recommend them, but the movie was terrible, so so terrible.
I'd like to see you guys review games like you do movies, that would be so funny!
the review is soooo confusing
Another movie I feel like I totally don't have to see because you guys deemed it so laughable stupid.
video game movies....sigh. Just there to please the fans and bring in the moneyz, but suck as a movie
I played the game, and let me tell you this. Making a movie based on a game that make game simulation to explore the past from genetics about assassins and templars, even tho in real history the assassins and templars never met.... it sounds as bad as touching your poop and lick it.
The game franchise is now kinda shitty and shittier, and they make a movie about it. Good choice XD
Nice shoes Andrew
uhm no this is NOT how the game is AT ALL. yes the whole coporation thing exist but its the setup. the film should be 10-20 minutes setup of the organization and what they do and the rest of the film would be during the crusades. they also could have left all that mess out and just give us a "prequel" of sorts and leave out all of that present day crap, i mean it is a film so take out that which doesnt work in the game. they dont even advertise the modern day stuff for the game thats how meaningless it is. but i guess they needed to do it so they can make an excuse for hiring a bunch of gringos to play latinos lol. i dont know chile. this was a major miss. also the whole dna being passed down through dna/blood isnt a new theory its a super old spiritual belief and some scientists have theorized its true. to each their own, i personally believe in it. if a jewish boy can turn water into wine why not this too? its not that odd lol.
#nationaltreasurethisshit
I fascinated by white people discussing white characters family origins and appearance. black people been talking about this. the Cosby show!
The movie did a bad way at explaining the genetic memory part of the series.
In short said over how the Animus works is that it translates the genetic memory in 3D images in the Animus while also translating the language of the Ancestor to more English AKA the movie did not do that.
The one who uses the Animus can also feel the same as the ancestor because he is in his/her ancestors mind reliving the memory, the user can feel and smell what the ancestor did to.
Genetic memory is based on a real life theory that we humans have codes in us from our ancestors AKA the genetic memory's.
We have all the memory from our ancestors in us untill you get conceived and well that is it mostly I don't understand why that is hard to understand hell Hulk get's created by science and Spiderman gets bitten by a spider and he gets super powers and everyone buys that but genetic memory makes no sense? In Harry Potter they use magic from a wand and Star Wars they shoot lightning out of their fingers but genetic memory goes to far?
The games, books and etc do a much better job at explaining things than the movie also and better than me hell they explained it in the first 10 minutes of AC1 the game.
The Apple of Eden from the movie makes zero sense and contradicts things from the games way to much I was like in the cinema ''... WTF! that is not how it works''.
I do blame the movie writers for such bad exposition though
Scottish and Irish -both drunken people who might be ginger and are hard to understand
Close enough
I like how they've never played the games, but fell upon the core problems that people have with the games :p