Recoverlog 9: Going back into hospital

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 77

  • @culbokiekid
    @culbokiekid 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Johnny you are an amazing person who is in the thoughts of many many people. The world is a better place with you in it. You feel that you are at rock bottom at the moment yet you are still making videos that are helping people. Hope you get the support you need in hospital and fingers crossed that 2015 will bring you good health and happiness x

  • @nw29586968
    @nw29586968 10 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Jonny,
    I have been thinking about and have been worried about you since your last video. You are doing the right thing and getting some help in hospital. Just remember, you have helped so many people with your campaigning and you have truly made a difference to so many people's lives. You do have a purpose and you will get better, no matter how bad and painful it must be for you now.
    Sending you love and thinking of you in your hour of need.
    C x

  • @Heymimi
    @Heymimi 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So sorry for the awful time you are going through. I'm glad you are wise & aware enough to go the hospital. Hang in there, buddy. I know cheerful little sayings won't do much to help, but this one (an African proverb) seems to help me get through when things are going bad for my son: "However long the night; the dawn will break." Sometimes, I just hold out hope that the dawn brings a new groundbreaking med that will change everything. My prayers are with you.

  • @MsCazxxx
    @MsCazxxx 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm in tears watching this you've come through this before hun you can do this :) sending u positive healing vibes your doing the right thing you will get better even if you can't see that right now ur so strong you really are thinking and praying for you xxxxx

  • @tsqtsqtsq
    @tsqtsqtsq 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Jonny, I so relate to everything you said. I know all about those long periods of mental and even physical pain, feeling absolutely nothing resembling a life worth living. BUT it WILL get better. These are irrational thoughts brought on by this stupid illness. It's not you, it's the disease. You're going to get your help and you WILL find relief. Please keep fighting. You are so strong and I believe in you. There are so many people who really care about you, just make sure you take care of yourself, buddy.

  • @BETH78900X
    @BETH78900X 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am sending you a whole bunch of positivity, Jonny. I hope you are doing well in hospital and I wish you a successful recovery. Many people are wishing you well. :) x

  • @chaoticserenity1
    @chaoticserenity1 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's heartbreaking to watch such a wonderful and bright human being going through so much suffering. I too suffer from Schizophrenia and during some of the worst times in my life when I had very little hope for recovery I watched your videos and in those videos you said to make plans for a time when you would feel better, to mark it on your calendar so I did just that, the only hope I had was the things I know are true in my heart to remember the things that brought me happiness and inspiration. During the darkest times in my life I fought with all the negative thoughts in my mind and I decided that you were right so I believed in your words that things DO get better and I hope you can see that too, now when you are struggling the most and feel like your worst nightmares have come to reality, this I wish for you that you do see the wisdom in your own words. That you can find the strength to keep that little spark of knowing alive and it may drive you to battle on.

  • @frankj3547
    @frankj3547 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Once more I find your commitment to recording your thoughts and experiences, and your honesty in this, so immensely valuable. I admire your ability to keep talking through this crisis. Please keep talking.

  • @lolamh4900
    @lolamh4900 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think going into hospital might be the best thing for you at the moment. It's not a defeat, it's just doing what needs to be done to reach out of this. I know it's hard to see but you can do it. We love you xx

  • @desolit100
    @desolit100 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    There is no escape there but darkness.You are a inspiration to so many people,focus on the people that would be devasted at your death.Please hold on go into hospital,make them change your meds,I have been at this crazy feeling I need to stop,and get off the train,but never stop,you are special,you could not have reached others if you were not.I love you you saved my life once,please save yours.

  • @tomcurd4474
    @tomcurd4474 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Always remember that all our lives have value, but sometimes our minds and bodies try and convince us otherwise. Much love to you, Jon, you are a great guy.

  • @JohnnyDeePop
    @JohnnyDeePop 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hello my friend. I am so sorry your feeling this way. You give so many people hope with your incredible videos. I pray you find strength to carry on being part of our lives x

  • @MissGeorgiex1
    @MissGeorgiex1 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    Please remain determined and strong, you can feel better and you're doing such a good thing by helping so many people with these videos!

  • @tr4mbhomie
    @tr4mbhomie 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Happy New Year, Jonny Benjamin. Everything is gonna be alright ☀️ I pray for you. I miss you. I'll wait for you.

  • @ionaanderson2232
    @ionaanderson2232 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    To watch this, to see the emptiness behind your eyes, it's heart breaking. It has taken me 10 minutes to get the courage to write this but i can admit to totally relating to how you feel right now. The lack of energy, the absolute self disgust and questioning my worth is pretty much a daily routine. You are one of my biggest inspirations and I can only hope you can get good support in hospital. I don't really know what they do in hospitals but I can assume that it is beyond daunting to go in there 😞 stay alive Johnny

  • @andya93
    @andya93 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jonny, you can get through this. We are all behind you and are sending you positive vibes. Stay strong. From one brother to another.

  • @adabizhkenova340
    @adabizhkenova340 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Although you're in a very dark place now, there's still a light in you nothing can put out, it's genuinely beautiful; like proverbial phoenix bird that keep rising from the ashes. I think it's one most accurate symbol of you. Feel so inspired by your vlogs. You've such a determination, strength and perseverance within you. Stick to it. You've been through it so many times before and can overcome it all.. I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself. Relapses happen, but you do heal. Keep fighting and doing your best. Wishing you a fast recovery.

  • @flashrobbie
    @flashrobbie 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I made that no suicide promise to my mum years ago, after my first bout. And although I'd never break a promise to my mum, I realised it's not really about her, it's about acknowledging my own strength and my own hope even when they are apparently absent. Winter Solstice is coming, the darkest night of the year but every day after that is a little brighter. I'm looking forward to your next video, Johnny.

  • @Borisat
    @Borisat 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please know that you have helped so many people and even though I do not know you personally, I wish you happiness and love. I hope you find treatment and know that it will get better

  • @mikemartinmarshall
    @mikemartinmarshall 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jonny, I can't claim to know how you feel but my thoughts are with you and from the bottom of my heart I hope you recover as soon as possible.

  • @chairtyhoward1184
    @chairtyhoward1184 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Stay strong Jonny, keep fighting. I'm glad you're going to be in a place where people can help you

  • @metta108
    @metta108 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    It makes me want to cry when I see this video of you considering that.....you and your message means so much to so many people like me that you will never even meet in person..... I need to see your other videos past this one and hope and pray you will never get into the same place again.... We need your beautiful message and presence in the world...

  • @glaurung_the_dragon1235
    @glaurung_the_dragon1235 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello John! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I just randomly stumbled upon your videos. I think it takes a lot of courage to speak out the way you do. I wish I could say something that will make you feel better. But from my own experiences with depression I know that in the most difficult moments words of encouragement make little difference. Every several months I also get very depressed and it seems to me that there is nothing I can do to change my life for the better, that I will never be truly happy, that I will never be the person I want to be. But I think that in the last two years things have improved a lot for me, and I'm starting to really enjoy my life. I hope that you have people around you who care about you and who understand you. And I would also be happy to talk to you and get to know you better, if you wanted to :)

  • @MsThomas0485
    @MsThomas0485 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    We need you, Jonny! It's so good to hear that you're taking the difficult step of seeking help, doing the thing you desperately want not to do. Sleep, eat, recover. Read graphic novels (easier than books if your concentration is shot, Craig Thompson is perfect). Talk, if you can. Rest and recover, rest and recover, rest and recover. We need you, Jonny.

  • @cecarrasq
    @cecarrasq 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are an extraordinary man, a brave one . Life is difficult but suicide is not the answer. From the distance I pray for you. You have a beautiful smile. This smile is your gift to all of us and to all the people that loves you. You are not alone.We all love you...

  • @Jamie1982
    @Jamie1982 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Glad you're going to get the help. We all love you.

  • @erinkelly3018
    @erinkelly3018 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    You probably won't see this because this video was so long ago but I came here from Jim Chapman's documentary, you are a true inspiration to so many people and I currently suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts, I hate mysel in so many ways, but your vlogs have gave me some reassurance!

  • @RolyWestYT
    @RolyWestYT 10 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    You can get through this Jonny!!

  • @motherhoodandmentalhealth3522
    @motherhoodandmentalhealth3522 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Jonny. I find your videos so helpful. I am currently in hospital with a psychotic episode, I had my son a year ago and since then I have been hospitalised twice. I want to get better but I can't see a way to get there. Thank you for blogging about such a personal and painful subject. X

  • @fomoran
    @fomoran 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's a fair guess that kind words and understanding won't shift you from your present state, but going along with your hospital decision seems the clearest way forward. Concerns about spending xmas in hospital shouldn't enter into it i've spent one in there myself, the general concern with making you better will overtake any longing for turkey and sprouts. Here's hoping that you do admit yourself and a solution to your present situation can be found. Your vlogs are a help and a comfort for so many who find themselves on the outer edge of similar mental states. Many can look back and empathise with your words and hopefully some will be nudged into getting help before they go beyond caring. You bring inspiration and comfort to so many, whatever you choose to do i hope that you'll get back to a more stable situation... a place from which to appreciate how much your posts mean to so many strangers and people suffering in silence, thinking themselves truly alone.

  • @lesterwoodger5030
    @lesterwoodger5030 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is so sad to hear buddy that you aren't doing well.... Much love buddy xxxx

  • @SueBluQ
    @SueBluQ 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Stay strong Jonny,you are an inspiration to those of us who battle demons.

  • @melaniejaynarayanasamy4430
    @melaniejaynarayanasamy4430 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love you special one, the bond of friendship is strong- I will be with you and am cradling you in prayers, warmth & HOPE XXXXXXXX

  • @johnkassman3066
    @johnkassman3066 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    No Jonny ! NO ! You can and you will get better ! You have done it before - you will do it again. I know how you are feeling. I have been there and when I was in my darkest hour, I saw some light - as faint as it was, I saw it and somehow, I eventually got better. Your comment about how you feel in your skin resonates so much with me. I used to feel that way and thought I was at the end. I stood on that ledge...and I am still here Jonny. I am still here ! Remember that man on the bridge - never forget his words. You didn't think you could get better before but you did. YOU DID! You can recover Jonny. You can! You made the choice to go to the hospital and you will get better. You have touched so many. Take comfort in that. You inspire me and you continue to inspire many. Much love and safety.

    • @mrjonnybenjamin
      @mrjonnybenjamin  9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      John Kassman Thanks John, i truly appreciate your message. I am doing better now and my mood has lifted. Thank-you for caring and reaching out

  • @messpilo
    @messpilo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I understand you very well I also have intrusive thoughts and get isolated as I have also anxiety. I prefer to stay at home...

  • @robby031276
    @robby031276 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Be strong and fight through this. Your inspiration to us all

  • @TheJournalCEO
    @TheJournalCEO 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really hope things improve for you soon. You inspire a lot of people and are a caring person.

  • @ohaRega
    @ohaRega 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    you can pull through mate. keep trying! much love.

  • @toysandtrinkets
    @toysandtrinkets 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    It is so sad to see you in a dark place again. Words of encouragement probably don't do much, but hopefully they can help a little. You've gone through this before, Jonny, and that may not seem important right now, but you've beat this before. You had the strength to get better before and you can get better again. You are still strong, Jonny. There's no shame in needing a little help, in fact admitting that you need help takes so much courage. Right now you may feel like you can't go on, but you have to hold on and push through for things to get better. Sometimes you have to survive before you can live, and it's not ideal, but sometimes it's all that you can do. You can learn to live and love yourself again. Right now you might feel weak and hate yourself, but you've made it this far, and that's something to be proud of. You can do this, Jonny, maybe you don't know it now, but you can beat this again. Just try to remember all of the progress you've made, you're stronger than the last time, and you can get better. I wish you the best, Jonny, and I really hope that you feel better.

  • @brumcentral
    @brumcentral 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    I hope you get the help you need and want, you still have so much to give and share.

  • @lanell2004
    @lanell2004 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Aww did you check your Twitter the other day? What things make you happy? I pray that you can get better and stay better.-hugs-

  • @pauljillard
    @pauljillard 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    We know that anything we say at the moment to try and help will appear glib and meaningless to you,
    so just to let you know we are thinking of you in your dark time you're having.
    All our love
    Paul and Valleri

  • @sarahjt5947
    @sarahjt5947 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    Agine iam late watching this video as all these are new to me but as john says nooooooooooo jonny things will get better whenever you feel like this try looking back on your videos think about the person that stopped you before. when you start to feel like this when you have these days find that special person you can talk to if your struggling to be around people write them a letter get it all out. The people who will read your letters or listen to you ;-] think thats everyone on here Just remember you got through it before and you can agine Ps i see your in a better place since this video was posted so well done and know your tv show helped others xxxx hugs

  • @thuggie1
    @thuggie1 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    pleases don't do anything drastic things will get better it hard to see but they will i will thinking about you things can be hard but hold on they will help you to get back in a better place in hospital.
    you a nice genuine person and has helped many people, i hope you feel better soon its hard when you go that low be thinking about over the hanukkah holidays and beyond keep well

  • @Pixelated-Pig
    @Pixelated-Pig 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jonny no just no! Please don't check out just yet,it does get better I promise you.I know this because this time last year I was in the same boat! I had to take beta blockers just to get through Christmas Day with my family.I couldn't see my friends and I literally just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up! Anxiety when it's at its worst is just nightmarish but given time and with help it DOES get better,I promise you.So glad you're seeking help.You're an inspiration Jonny Benjamin and we love you

  • @dreamsofturtles1828
    @dreamsofturtles1828 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Recently I have been having a fight with someone and came across yr video and idk...I feel yr humanity and suffering like it's the suffering of all human beings..and to be Kinder because there but for the grace of God go i it could be so much worse than someone aggravating me , and that u are just one of many in this world trying to live, trying.

  • @mikeh7615
    @mikeh7615 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    hey Jonny, I have been following you (on and off) since I first read about you in a paper some time ago... I think I'm similar to you in some respects (except i'm not as good looking) and I think you may be a Highly Sensitive Person, like myself (you can read about that on wikipedia, unless you already know what HSP are)... Just wanted to send you some hugs and assure you that whatever feeling of hate you're experiencing could be caused by external factors (meds, society). The society in general is not very kind towards highly sensitive people. I am sure that you will get better in no time, and sending you best wishes & lots of love.

  • @lovelydevious
    @lovelydevious 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Keep your head up! ❤

  • @domshaw
    @domshaw 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    This too will pass. Best wishes,Jonny.

  • @Bekka_boo13
    @Bekka_boo13 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    oh Johnny...please get better...my friend of mine commit suicide (i was told) on the 2nd jan this year (2015) and its literally ripped people up inside...you are very much loved...it will get better...it doesn't seem that now & we all go through these thoughts from time to time...remember that romantic person inside you & you will meet a special person because you are special...you NEED to get better...your an inspiration to others!!!!! We love you Johnny

  • @Matthewgreen7779311
    @Matthewgreen7779311 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Please get help. Sending prayers your way.

  • @kathakdance1
    @kathakdance1 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Johnny, You are doing the right thing by going back into hospital. Yu need help and support. They can help you and things will get better. You have helped many people. I am keeping you in y prayers. Hugs Donna rfom Amsterdam.

  • @rolandviado
    @rolandviado 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    i empathize with you. i hope you get through this.

  • @thanie18
    @thanie18 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh no :( I was so sorry about u ! I hate any mind disorder that has kill people soul and life I hope things get better soon keep us updated ur in my prayers :((( 😢😢😢😢😢😢

  • @stopthestigma7087
    @stopthestigma7087 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    please get well soon johnny my friend.

  • @michaelduggan3
    @michaelduggan3 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    All the best Jonny. x

  • @gracegrace1896
    @gracegrace1896 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    How are you now in the year 2020? I need hope for myself and for my son. God help us.

  • @audiovisuality
    @audiovisuality 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hey beautiful buddy, please get help! I am sorry for all the pain and the passionate negative feelings you have toward yourself. I have felt many of such things in my life.
    Can you write some poemes and do some meditation on the breath? Watching those emotions toward yourself without judging them or pushing them away and without letting them take you too far down stream. Bring your attention back to the breath always non-judgementally.
    We are here, watching, feeling, caring and hoping for you. It’s work, it’s a struggle, but we love you.

  • @robclack9645
    @robclack9645 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Get well soon bro keep strong

  • @prajnahe7379
    @prajnahe7379 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello Jonny. It seemed to me that you are experiencing social stress, and probably intense internal mental stigma. Try to improve our understanding about "mental illness" is one of the keys. Avoid to take traditional psychiatry as dominant ideology about "mental illness". Try to learn courses such as cognitive psychology to nurture our understanding of psychological or mental phenomemon. These theories are significant, meaningful. The techniques such as CBT, exposure therapy, and hidden emotions(such as grieving process) are very powerful to deal with depression, anxiety or panic, and to improve our thoughts (not just label them in psychiatry). I recommend you to learn from Doctor David Burns' "When panic attacks", "Feling good". You may also read another opinion about mental illness from scholars such as Thomas Szasz, the book "schizophrenia the sacred symbol of psychiatry'', "the myth of mental illness"..Furthermore joining social supporting group of peer "patients" is very helpful and relaxing. You will find you are not alone to deal with your difficulties, and help with each other. Finally some eastern philosophies are very wise. You might take some of them as reference, such as to comprehend the nature of emptiness of all sensations, and to achieve meditation.. Hope this information is helpful, and hope you go back to the right direction, the right path.

  • @MiaMantri
    @MiaMantri 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    I hated myself in the time we've known each other, I only started to recover from that during the latter half of 2013 and I know you can recover from it. I would like you to know I'm here for you. Any time you need to talk please don't hesitate to fb message me. I've been suicidal myself and know what it's like to be judged for it, so I don't judge others for feeling that way. Take care!

  • @Sikanda.
    @Sikanda. 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi, has anyone had any news about Jonny ? I sent him a message nearly two weeks ago. It's a very terrible situation... he left us with this video in a position of despair and pain. We are not his family yet we care about him. I never met him, I've known him since 2011. I don't want to be a stalker but I wish to know if he is doing a little better! What can we do witout being overly intrusive ? We are nothing but the viewers of his internet diary! So if you have any information, good people of the internet, please let (me)us know. Thanks.

    • @TheOfficialTab
      @TheOfficialTab 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Go to his twitter. He's as he said, in hospital. twitter.com/MrJonnyBenjamin I think the other patients are helping him through his problems. I don't know how much you know Jonny, but tell him we're all wishing him luck through his battle of mind.

    • @Sikanda.
      @Sikanda. 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Official Tab
      Thank you very much. I did not even thought of checking his twitter... I believe there are kind people around him but I was worried anyway.

  • @Mummy323
    @Mummy323 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    jon I am in the same spot you are in at this exact moment. Please know I am here if you need a person to listen and talk to. Please don't take a drastic measure. I send my heart. If you are on FB and want to pm me or you can have my email as well. I want you to know I am others are here. It breaks my heart to see you in this situation. HUGS

  • @marvetteperry1684
    @marvetteperry1684 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    praying for you

  • @innuendo4469
    @innuendo4469 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    How are you doing Johnny? Back home yet? A x

    • @mrjonnybenjamin
      @mrjonnybenjamin  9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Anna Maginis Back home now, mood has lifted but the anxiety/paranoia is still strong. I'm determined to recover x

    • @innuendo4469
      @innuendo4469 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jonny Benjamin 1
      Very good. Fingers crossed! I'm currently on trial of Risperidone, don't feel much improvement after 2 weeks tho. We both have to be patient. I know how hard it is, but patience is the key when everything goes wrong. I'm sending you hugs. May tomorrow be a better day than today. !

  • @paulonaopara
    @paulonaopara 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Be strong mate

  • @vincenttayelrand
    @vincenttayelrand 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Strength bro.

  • @qplanet
    @qplanet 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Please stay