Being Tattooed Exhausts Me...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.ย. 2024
- It's not regret! Sometimes I just don't want anyone to see my tattoos!
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hey everyone, so on my last tattoo talk Tuesday video I had a few questions about a exchange between ViloniousTV and I where we mentioned covering our tattoos at times, like going to the store or working out at the gym, just because we don't always want to present as tattooed people. I've tried to talk about this before, but I do believe it's a nuanced subject, and honestly core feeling that I don't quite understand myself, and frequently contradict throughout this video, however I did just want to have a sit down video where I share my thoughts about being tattooed, situations I enjoy being tattooed in, and situations I wish I wasn't so heavily tattooed in, and I also touch on models in product campaigns being tattooed?
A lot of these feelings do come from being shy and wanting to blend in or be non existent, so this feelings may not have anything to do with being tattooed at all, but I did want to share my feelings in case anyone could relate, or purely to just introduce my thoughts to you guys to take however you would like.
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"thats my personality, to just barely exist"
i couldn't relate more
lol same, i felt this deeply
I am Newley tattooed at 62 years old, and I’ve recently ditched the dye and let my silver hair shine through after years of covering it up. I have had very little comment on either thing and only positive comments so far, but maybe that’s an age thing. Perhaps you become more invisible as you age! I love being invisible, btw! And I love your tattoos. (This is Susie, Rob’s wife)
You rock Susie! =)
Bless this comment 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I am 64 and have 22 tattoos, purple hair and 19 piercings. All except one tattoo and my double lobe ear piercings have been done in the past four years. I am just done with what other people think of me. I am going to have fun and live my remaining years looking my way.
Have a blessed day suzie!
Susie you rock
Tattoos are totally fine at my office but I find myself wearing long sleeves at work just because I don't want to be interrogated.
I feel you. I do the exact same when i visit my grandparents and distant relatives from my fathers side. Even when it's hot outside i still try to cover my tattoos. Not because i'm scared of what they will say but more because i don't wanna have to explain myself to them over and over again. I'm just tired of having to defend myself all the time...
Same. No one in my office cares. They don’t even notice when I come in with a giant new banger on my arm. But still even though I live in Florida I wear long sleeves and sweaters all the time. 🥵
Same, and like at this point it really doesn't bother or surprise people but sometimes I just can't be bothered
I don’t care about my arm tattoos showing because they are quite unassuming but my leg tattoos that are more “weird” or people could take offense to I consider carefully before showing. So I wear pants or opaque tights at work to avoid questions even though tattoos are no issue.
Same. I'm a librarian at an university library and often work at the service desk in the front. I don't want to have to explain to people that my tattoos are none of their business; some really take that to heart or get angry and want to complain to my boss because "I'm rude", lol.
Hey qcknd, it's everybody
Not sure if this is a common feeling for other tattooed young adults but i feel uncomfortable when older people see my tattoos because I feel as though they assume I'm some young delinquent who isn't gonna go anywhere in life lol.
100% agree with this!
Exactly. I feel that too
You should call this "Confessions of a Tattooed Introvert." And I can totally relate!
it sounds like your tattoos aren't exhausting peoples inability to just exist around tattooed people without pestering, staring, getting awkward around them is exhausting. people are exhausting. also yes wanting to be invisible is so valid people are exhausting just wanna live this day as low-key as possible.
unrelated but your hair is getting so loooong omg
Your feelings are totally valid, of course. Just being a women with a body gets us unwanted attention/judgements. I don't have visible tattoos, but I can see how being a heavily tattooed woman would attract plenty of unwanted attention/judgements. That's completely understandable to be tired of it.
@doug robertson as they should. Not talking about that though. Just talking about a women's experience overall.
Hey Quack, longtime Japanese American viewer here! I'm actually going back to Japan next Monday to visit my family and tbh being tattooed in Japan is what you make of it. I have an almost completed torso as well as 1 completed leg sleeve and a few smaller pieces scattered around my arm and leg, and I get all the stares. I get rude looks. But when I went with my caucasian friends, they were never looked down upon. "They're Americans," people would tell me when I asked their thoughts on our modifications, "they all do that." As for myself, someone who looks (and is) ethnically Asian, I got disapproving lectures and encouragement to stop. You would be okay. People would ask you questions, but from a place of genuine curiosity/ignorance. Don't let this crushing weight stop you from living your life (even though I totally do the same thing). Love you mom, xox
Never have I more related to a video. Thank you thank you. Sometimes you just want to get eggs at 7am and you have three different conversations about your sleeve. And the moment you look at someone and they’re approaching you just staring at your tattoos and you just have to mentally prepare yourself...
Also definitely used to have different coloured hair and got rid of it because it was too much attention. So thank you for truly putting into words the feelings I feel daily. This really helped.
Wallflowers with tattoos unite!!!
We should definitely make wallflowers with tattoos another tag like tattoo collectors!
Thank you so much for the kind words Qcknd!!! I am so happy I had the opportunity to sponsor you 💕☺️ So much love!
Good Luck with your music career
JackIsaacQ thank you so much! ☺️
I think the argument that you chose tattoos so you should deal w/ whatever you receive b/c of them is so unnecessary. You chose to get a tattoo, you didn't choose to be bothered or stared at because of them...
partially agree. Although you didn't choose to be bothered, it is something that is bound to happen because society sucks, so maybe it is something one should take into consideration, unfortunately.
it's like having a breast augmentation, just because you did it, doesn't mean you have to show your cleavage at every occasion. I think that's something everyone understands, so it's basically the same with tattoos
"That's my personality - to just barely exist." - QCKND
I also really feel you on the “presenting” factor- sometimes I wear a 4g septum ring, my lip rings and tongue rings, and show all my tattoos- and sometimes I wear a spacer in my nose, take all my other piercings out (other than my nostril, because for some reason that’s deemed “normal”) and I cover every tattoo and wear my hair down to cover my neck tattoo and stretched ears. I’ve actually had people talk negatively about lots of tattoos and piercings not knowing I have more. The whole “I just want to get groceries” thing really hit it on the head- sometimes you just don’t have time to talk about your tattoos and want to be ignored like everyone else. 😂
I’m glad you made this video so I don’t have to lol. This is SUCH a hard thing to explain to people who don’t have a ton of tattoos.
This is so relatable.
I have been thinking about getting more visible tattoos, but I am also a high school teacher.
You can imagine as a young woman in situations with students, parents, bosses, etc... this is something I absolutely have to think about.
Love you and your content!
I’m a high school teacher with visible tattoos too. Students do ask about them sometimes, but it depends how they do. I haven’t had many issues, and a lot of my coworkers were tattooed too. It is definitely becoming more normal, so less people say things
Vegan Squared this is good to know!! Thank you for the affirmation :) I really appreciate it
Artists supporting artists?! Creators supporting creators?!
Incredible partnership and sponsor - seriously so cool. Go QCKND!!
these things you brought up are similar to things i think about. i don't have any tattoos yet, i'm 20 and want to start my tattoos within the next few months. i've been following you for years now and your tattoo talks have helped aided me in the wait before my journey as a collector but also give me an idea and validate ways i may or may not feel once i am collecting. my mind is also extremely hyperactive and im a very anxious person who wants to just exist the tiniest bit. thanks manda for your content!
Haley Rose Good for YOU!! So proud to hear how you're planning and really thinking it through before just diving in, as so many people don't. I'm sure your collection is going to be amazing and so personal to you, with extra care given to placement after content like this! You go girl!
Me 99% of the time : loves my tattooed / modified body and general style
*visits parents*
Me : lol nevermind
Side note: it's interesting with sort of how things are socially at the moment, that people are expected to be 100% positive 100% of the time about their bodies and they get negative feedback for just simply expressing or discussing anything less then a positive opinion. I like these videos of yours 👌 u do u
My parents always make odd comments, I think they think they're giving compliments but it comes across very judgey
Brooo I feel the same why sometimes. I always meet new people at work, and I’m getting tired of people saying “omg you have a lot of tattoos!” or “wow you’re tatted up girl!” And yes a lot of people say they like my tattoos and have something positive to say about them, but all of that attention and comments and questions are getting exhausting.
OMG we love our tattooed librarian mom ❤❤
I've lived in Japan as a heavily tattooed western woman if you ever want to talk about that experience!
I know this isn't a visible thing but I also get this with veganism?? like whenever I meet new people someone I already know will manage to bring it up and it gets exhausting having to explain myself and being the centre of conversation when I'm naturally very quiet and in the background
I never really announce it when getting tattooed, and I like getting tattoed during winter because it's better to heal. When summer arrives, that's when people discover my tattoos hahaha
Edit: I don't mind people seeing my tattoos, but I have one, that I try to cover up in certain situations, it's a burning church. I'm an atheist and all, not anti-religion, but pro separation of State and Church as a way to ensure religious freedom; I like having that tattoo, but I don't always want to get into discussions about it just because it's hot and I want to wear shorts
I always have people asking if ive got new tattoos in summer but they just havent noticed as much in winter!
>Your driver’s license says you’re 25.
I died, and relate to this so hard.
the EP sounds soo cool! def gonna check it after i finish the video. this is the first sponsor segment ive ever actually watched. i need more sponsors to look at besides squarespace and honey lololol
I got really sad hearing all of the disclaimers you had to add into your video. I feel like it's hard to just kind of speak your mind on the internet sometimes. I'm glad you did though! I feel the same way in a lot of ways to what you'd expressed. Much love, keep up the good work! :)
This is the most relatable video. I was literally talking to my artist today about how we have anxiety about being in public in general, but it's worse when you have tattoos showing. It's just upping the odds that you'll have unpleasant encounters. Anyway, thank you for making this. I felt it.
You taught me that I don't owe anyone my tattoos. That I could cover up around people that would judge me. The whole "on my terms" really hits the point home
Thank you so much for speaking on this! I had a job where we had to cover our tattoos, but our uniform was a t-shirt. I have a small Leia tattoo on my arm, about 2 inches, and it peeked out every now and then and I can’t tell you how many times I wish I didn’t have it, even though I love it. Love you, Amanda 💖
Just got my first very visible tattoos this month and tbh, you’re the first person who got me thinking that it’s ok to be a visibly tattooed woman. Thank you for that. I needed to be a little louder in life.
Also I just noticed you have the same couch I have!
I’ve just started to discover this feeling, and you put it into words perfectly. I got my first tattoo that is super visible, and sometimes I am cool with people asking questions and making connections with people that I wouldn’t have before, but sometimes I just want to go to the store without having to make a conversation about my tattoo or answer questions or have someone make a comment about it.
I've literally never related to anything more, I LOVE my tattoos and in most situations I love being tattooed,. When i'm out with my friends I feel badass and empowered by them, as someone with image issues they have really made me like myself more. That being said there are definitely situations where I hate being the tattooed chick, people asking me about them, touching me, forcing me to defend myself and hide them. Theres nothing that changes my mood faster than someone commenting on my tattoos.
I also have found that for some reason I feel more sexualized with them, I've kind of subconsiously stopped wearing shorts and tank tops (which i've never had a problem wearing before), I think it's maybe because the tattoos invite people to comment on my body and stare more readily.
I love every video of you sharing your lived experiences and your personality 💗💗 My best friend from high school starting getting tattoos young and has most of her body completely covered and I hated the feeling of just wanting to have a relaxing fun time out together but KNOWING that no matter where we go, people WILL always make comments about her tattoos, ask what they mean, ask where she got them done, ask if she's single, and just invade the fuck out of our personal space and quality time together. It bothered me so much more than it did her and I felt like I was always having to fight people off of her so she could just EXIST in peace. And most of this attention was in the form of cat calling, sexual harassment, curiosity, and just condescending commentary that I was not going to put up with since I know she's more hesitant to be "mean" to people. But she doesn't owe people shit! This also reminds me of how (totally not the same as your experiences as a visibly tattooed person!) being a fat queer woman who wears a lot of makeup at times can be super fucking exhausting. I've been teaching myself how to do my makeup since I was maybe 14 (I'm 30 now) and to this day people still ask me the same annoying questions that I've always gotten and the same irritating comments that I just don't want to hear. Most of the time I look like shit, hair up in a bun, comfy clothes, zero makeup, etc because I hate standing out, being approached by strangers, being stopped when I have shit to do, etc. I definitely understand the feeling of just wanting to BE LEFT ALONE regardless of people's "good intentions". Compliments on my makeup (full beat, glitter galore, lashes, and the whole 9 yards) are sweet ...until I get the "Are you a makeup artist!? I need a makeup artist for my wedding day. Where did you learn to do your makeup like that? Can you do my makeup for me? It would be fun!! It takes you HOW long to do your makeup!!? Oh my god I don't have time like that to do all that. What brand do you use? It's MAC isn't it? You would look better with less makeup. It's pretty but that's WAY too much. You use 4 products just to get that lip color? Where can I find that shade? So you're not a professional makeup artist? You know, you're really talented, you should think about being one! You can just freelance on the side! Oh you don't have your own makeup kit? I don't understand why you can't just use your own makeup and brushes? So what DO you do? Why don't you want to do makeup on other people? You're really good at it so what's the problem!? What does your husband think of you wearing so much makeup? Do you have a boyfriend and what does he have to say about it? Can you recommend a good eyeliner for me? Wowwww that's a lot of steps to take to just blend some eyeshadow, I could never do that. I only take 5 minutes to do MyYyY makeup, just some mascara and gloss and boom- I'm out the door. Well, I prefer a simpler look, I don't like doing ALL of that." Like...first of all, can I breathe? YOU'RE IN MY PERSONAL SPACE AND I DIDN'T COME HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU, leave me the fuck alone!! Lol anyway, truly appreciate this video and YOU!! 💗💗
I completely understand this sentiment, qcknd! Sometimes people think that just because we have tattoos (or visible ones, anyway) that that's automatically a conversation starter with us, when a lot of us are really just shy, timid people (sometimes even suffering from social anxiety *hello!*) and don't want to engage in meaningless conversations regarding tattoos *all the time*
(Wow this comment is way long, but I know you and your subscribers get it.) It's a multi-faceted topic that can be very touchy to those who don't understand what it's like living a life with tattoos and being a relatively shy woman to begin with.
My great aunt was a tattoo lady in the circus in the 1940s and she was covered completely by clothing all year long. The people of my hometown found out, and harassed that woman until she fled town. My great-uncle never found her after 7 years of searching. My grandmother said she was one of the kindest, sweetest people she'd ever met. So when I made the decision to get heavily tattooed in this day and age, I knew that there will still be residual stigma... I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it in her honor.
Luckily, society is changing. My bass-ackwards midwest hometown just got it's first tattoo studio of it's own a few years ago, and I feel less approachable (in a positive or negative way) when I go home to visit since visible tattoos are more commonplace. I'm thankful to be living in this day and age, and not the 1940s.
love and light to you and your subscribers! Thank you for being so vulnerable and open about your experiences.
I’ve been getting into tattoo over the past couple years and I have to say the confidence boost I get from having them is great. I have no idea why, but it makes me feel happy and more confident about myself.
This has basically been my rant at work! I'm getting so done with back handed comments and people deciding I'm somehow the tattoo ambassador and start pushing their views on me about tattoo/other mods or even hair color. I'm just trying to get through my shift or get my groceries and go not answer the same question over and over again. Then theres people who are "iF YoU DOnt LiKe the aTTenTion DonT gET TaTTooED" people can learn to keep comments to themselves. I rarely get a genuine compliments anymore its just well exhausting.
I totally relate to what you are saying in this video when out in public.
My only difference is with my extended family, I just like the shock value. It’s a bonus if I can get them to say something to me, have them roll their eyes, or get the “I’m not looking, but I am” face. It may sound childish, but it’s kind of a fun game for me because they all think one goes to a fiery place after death if one has tattoos.
Cheers!
Always honored to have my music featured in your video, Qcknd. Love you 🌺🌺🌺
I just had an experience at work recently about my tattoos. I’m visibly tattooed on my arms and I forget about the one on the back of my arm a lot and I only remember when someone will comment on it. It usually goes along the lines of “who’s this person’s name on your arm ?” or “why is it not finished?” & it’s something I just don’t want to explain something so personal. I mentioned that to this new coworker that it’s personal and they throwed back the comment “well don’t get tattoos if you don’t want to talk about them,” and just ooof. Why do people feel the need to make those comments? Why can’t you respect that? I feel you on the back and forth feeling and the constant need to explain yourself. I also feel like that I’m a quiet, chill person who also just wants to be non-existent. I always like these conversations you bring up & I support the cause quack 💛
I kinda relate. I love wearing patterns and look at lots of vintage clothes, but a paisly dress CLASHES with my tattooes. Sometimes (as a less tattooed sort), I worry about dressing up and putting on heels with lower leg tattoos, so I haven't done those yet, but I also LOVE my tattoos and want more, but there are some times when I wish I could "turn it off". ALSO- I have two more heavily tattooed friends with punk color hair who lived in Japan, and it was NBD. :) They will notice, but most have come around.
I think at 20:55 you summed it up perfectly, that happy hour scenario is a social situation where you want to talk to people, share your personality and life. You want to have the choice to have fun, and feel like an interesting person to others. Where when you're just going to the gym you just want to do a task, not be a speckle or have to explain yourself. I relate and I'm note even tattooed
i don’t even have that many tattoos and i feel you. sometimes i just don’t want people asking about them or looking at me. it would be nice to like... turn them off or something. i don’t wanna explain that my one tattoo is from a horror movie 50000x to people who are just gonna give me the side eye afterwards
Your experience with your tattoos is something that I find incredibly relatable. Every time you talk about this particular subject I feel super validated in my decision to get easily covered tattoos first before I start working on a sleeve, thanks mama Q 💕
I definitely feel a lot of what you talked about. If it’s any help, I did travel to Japan and didn’t run into issues. I even got tattooed at Inkrat in Tokyo and had an absolutely fabulous experience!
I related to this so hard! Especially when you said that you have never wanted to present very loudly in life, but are still interested in these 'loud' modifications, including scars/black eyes/braces/etc. I'm the exact same way, and though I still plan on getting more tattoos and eventually being heavily covered, this is definitely an experience I'm bracing myself for. I also really appreciated your comment that you weren't trying to speak louder than those who have 'loud' traits that they didn't ask for, but were just contributing your experience to the conversation. Thank you so much for being public about this and putting your feelings out there, clearly a lot of us needed to hear it! Much love 🖤
I’m a small town librarians assistant. I work at the circulation desk and I have tattoos and a septum piercing. I always hide my septum piercing at work because I don’t want to draw attention but outside of work when I’m around my coworkers I let it out. Sometimes at the desk I feel like the old people are just staring at my tattoos. I never regret them but I just don’t want to think about them looking.
I feel you 100% on this
Qck, everything you're saying makes sense 100% - it's totally normal to want something and still have mixed feelings about it sometimes! It's just part of being a human around other humans. I'm 31 and only recently started getting tattooed, but some of mine are very visible. I'm a paralegal and very lucky to have a chill employer who doesn't care if I'm tattooed or if I dress the way I want, but it does make me feel weird around other attorneys and paralegals we work with. But no one has said anything negative to me so far, and I'm creating the body I want by getting tattooed, so I just try to roll with it! It's also def weird going to see extended family, like you said - it's not that I regret my tattoos, it's more like I just don't want to have That Conversation with my grandparents or aunts/uncles. You rock, I love all your videos and your tattoo talk!! Thanks for discussing these feelings!
I relate to this soooo hard. I hate that I have this underlying feeling that whoever I speak to is going to ask me about my tattoos. Every time I approach a customer and see them stare at my arms/legs, I mentally prepare myself for their questions. Working in customer service especially, some people forget that you’re just a normal person trying to go about your day!!
“Dressing like you don’t exist” is super relatable. Sometimes I it’s like my tattoos are extra weight I just don’t have the energy to carry
Love that you addressed this! Regarding what you said about walking down the aisle: even though I only have 2 visible tattoos right now, I am quite anxious about their visibility as I'm getting married next July and I've already gotten some questions from older family members. They haven't said anything rude, merely just asked if I will be covering them, but in my mind they're asking that because they believe they should he covered. I would love to get more tattoos on my arm before then, but I'm already getting worried about comments I may receive on my wedding day as I know tattoos arent considered "bridal". I also tend to cover my tattoos when I don't feel like talking about them or explaining "what they mean" around people I dont feel like having those conversations with, so I feel a lot of people may be shocked to see I even have tattoos lmao.
This really resonated with me. Especially as a woman who’s only recently started getting “visibly” tattooed, sometimes I just wish I could turn it off despite how much I love my tattoos. Thank you for putting it into words 🖤
I FEEL THIS!! This is why I wear long sleeved maxi dresses to most family events and almost always cover my tattoos in nice restaurants, business ventures (when I bought and sold my home, at jury duty,) etc. I’m even covering my tattoos at my own wedding- because I want the attention on me as a person, not just my tattoos. People who love my tattoos don’t understand why I’d cover them for my wedding, but this pretty much sums it up!
Soda Pop I sooo feel you! It's such a double edged sword, especially when you're feeling confident and don't want to be interrupted in your feelings but just want to BE for like one second! I've had people ask about my wedding day too if I will have an open back dress or a slit in the skirt to show off my tattoos and honestly all I can think of is how I can cover them up so I don't have to deal with them.. and I equally would love to show them off, but also just want to hide them away, you can't win
Libby Good you really can’t! Part of me thinks “well this is who I am”, and that they’d look cool on the big day- but overall I just want to be seen as a bride, not “a tattooed bride”. I’m finding it hard, though, cause I’d basically have to wear a dress with full sleeves and that covers most of my chest- so either way I’m going to have something showing... hopefully I can cover enough that they just fade into the background. Some women want to stand out, show their tattoos, have colored hair, wear a black/red/rainbow whatever dress with a leather jacket and ride in on a motorcycle (basically be as edgy as they can), and that’s cool- some women want to be ultra sexy on the big day, some want to wear pant suits and look powerful- but I always imagined being soft and sweet on my big day, and it’s hard for people around me to realize that, because I don’t always present that way.
Soda Pop Yes! I picture like gorgeous tattooed brides in magazine but like that's not really me... I would say though just bc it sounds like you have a few more visible tattoos that they really are part of your everyday appearance and I think that the people closest to you won't see them separately from you, bc they're a part of you! I get what you mean though. I definitely think you will find the perfect dress that will compliment you as a tattooed person, but not highlight you as "THE tattooed person", and you'll be stunning in your wedding day! 💕
Libby Good thank you so much!
I am not heavily tattooed but I do have fashion colored hair. I relate to your opinions/feelings on this a lot because I often get judgement (of all kinds) for my hair. Sometimes I just want to go unnoticed in a grocery store or live my life without someone interrupting it. I feel it’s completely valid to want to blend in and not feel intimated by others because of how we choose to look. Our style of appearance is our choice, yes, but people also have the choice to voice their opinion or to remain silent and keep living in their own moment.
Thank you being open to talking about this. I hope it brings awareness and a different perspective for those who can’t quite understand why it can be exhausting.
Cool of you to feature a subscriber as a sponsor! Never really seen a TH-camr do that before. Will check her out! 💜
I generally forget I have tattoos because most of the time they are covered but I get really insecure about them when I am around some of my family members even though I think they are awesome
Holy, I related to all of this. Ever since I started to get heavily tattooed, I realized how exhausting it is. The amount of times people have stopped to interrogate me about a tattoo I have, being grabbed by random people who "just want to look and feel them" (like no, please don't). Or being told I'm too pretty for them, or "ruined my body". It's ridiculous... not being able to hide them when I want is something I battle but I wouldn't change any of it for the world. They make me feel beautiful, and I try to remind myself that other peoples perspective on me or opinion is truly irrelevant. Because I know who I am, and thats all that matters.
I have extreme social anxiety and in a way it's a complete blessing when it comes to my appearance because as a way to protect myself from an anxiety attack, my brain completely turns off all notice of strangers around me. It's like wearing blinkers, I mean partly it's scary because really it's the onset of an attack (my hearing becomes very fuzzy, and I completely disassociate from my surroundings) but it means that I never know how people around me are responding to my tattoos or my clothing choice or anything. For me its freeing and I barely ever have fears surrounding appearance-based judgement anymore. When someone talks to me directly it's another story though
It's so nice to hear someone talk this way about tattoos. I feel like the first thing any body ever heard about tattoos had the word 'regret' in the sentence. For me anyway, I always scare myself out of getting more visible tattoos because any tidy shred of doubt I have makes me think I don't actually want it, even though I've been interested in it since I was a kid. Seeing you discuss issues like this while continuing to get tattooed is really positive. Just like most things in life, being tattooed is a complex thing. You are allowed to have lots of *conflicting* feelings about your own body, including the changes you it that you decide to make. 'regret' is still the first word out of peoples mouths when someone says anything other than 'I love this tattoo as much as the first day i got it!' which is absurd. I can't think of any other subject where people scream and shout at others for just talking about their own experience like this. Of course people on the internet are mean, I just think the conversation surrounding negative feelings about your own tattoos is a weirdly aggressive, people jump at the chance to say 'I told you so' even if you aren't saying you regret them.
Thank you Qcknd for providing a space to talk about this subject, I really really appreciate it. I don't usually comment on videos too much, but then you said you think black eyes are cool.
“Doesn’t want to present loudly in life but has always been interested in body mod”. You described me to a T! So glad I am not alone in this feeling. I thought it was just because I’m a introvert. And having had to grow up with a white patch of hair like X-Men’s Rogue was always drawing attention and I felt the need to hide it. I’ve finally at 30+ years embraced the hair, and started getting tattoos because I want to fall more in love with me, and try not to think about what others are perceiving about me.
Re: your experience with the cop, I've had men comment on my tattoos when the only visible part of them was showing through small holes in my ripped jeans. For me as well it also feels like a "read" and like an uncomfortable and unnecessary comment about my body.
I can definitely understand where you’re coming from. I am so glad to hear that I’m not the only one, and you described it so well.
I may not have had tattoos for very long, but I am also the kind of person who wants to be small and unnoticeable in crowded settings or places with people I don’t know well. It doesn’t make me any less proud of being tattooed, nor does it make me love the art any less, but sometimes I’d like to just watch from the sidelines, rather than being pulled into the center of others’ attention. Thank you for making this video!
Most of my tattoos are on my leg and whenever I wear shorts I watch people’s eyes over and over again look at me and then down to my bare leg. I know that it’s probably not even intentional on their part, even when they make a face or react. My tattoos are colorful and draw attention and I love having them. But sometimes seeing people over and over again look me up and down...... yea, exhausting is a good word. I’m glad you made this video.
I’m heavily tattooed and tend to wear long sleeves and pants often, especially at work, because people always want to examine them and ask a million questions. Plus, there are still places that don’t consider them to be “professional” so I remain covered to remove them from the conversation. I want to be judged on my work performance and ethic, not my appearance. Most people are nice but I’ve run into too many people who pretend to not have a problem with them, only to talk behind my back or give me dirty looks or judge me because I have so many.
I'm visibly tattooed, getting moreso, I eventually want to be covered.
But my tattoos are for me. They make me happy. Sometimes I just don't want to share them with other people. I've had my head shaved and had a million fashion colours and it's the same. sometimes I just want to wear a wig or a hat and not be so visible.
And I'm so grateful to you for being open about this. I've been watching you since before I started getting tattooed, so I was lucky and I came into this already knowing that this is a relatable feeling, that it doesn't make me a bad tattooed person for not want to be on display.
I think being a tattooed woman also adds another level. It’s an easy conversation starter I suppose. I have one small, hard to hide tattoo on my wrist and THATS the one that people choose to comment on. I never anticipated that attention but it happens weekly.
Side story: I had a guy ask me what one of my tattoos was and when I told him he said “are you sure?” ........ yes. It’s what I asked for and researched it?? Love it haha
I feel this so much. When I had fashion hair colours and piercings I used to hate being in public and being faced with the idea of being noticed, I just want to shrink in the background and not be looked at. But other people never understand that, they always think but you have these tattoos and you dye your hair blue obviously those things are indicative that you want to stand out and you want to be noticed. But it's just not the case.
as someone who's also somewhat heavily tattooed/has piercings/has hair that is a weird color... I totally understand this feeling. I was so excited and in love with my deer chest piece I got a year ago, but the combo of working in the service industry and having to deal with constant every day questions about it, I usually just wear a high neck/turtle neck most of the time. I also opt for long sleeves whenever I can because I'm tired of strangers literally grabbing my arms without asking and twisting them to see my tattoos! it is very exhausting!!! like... yes obviously we choose to be modified but that doesn't mean we owe anyone explanations as to why.
Yes! This is sooooo relatable! I am quite heavily tattooed, but I do not have any on my arms and lower legs. This means that most of the time it is not obvious how tattooed I am, which I love! I am always so shocked by the looks and comments I get when summer comes around and you can see them all. Although I really love them, sometimes it just would be easier if they were not there. Also, as if you would go up to people and ask them why they wore their hair in a ponytail that day, don't think so.
I’m happy you shared this opinion and put my own thoughts into words lol. I’m not super heavily tattooed but I just got my first big tattoo to start my sleeve and the comments started immediately, especially the “well what does it mean” questions. Sadly it’s *sOoOo* hard for people not to bring up someone else’s body for some odd reason????
This is something I can really relate to. I work in a fast food restaurant and it is really frustrating to be trying to get an order out quickly and people at the window are trying to have an in depth conversation about my tattoos. I’m not trying to be rude but it can be frustrating when I’m just trying to do my job and can’t just be left alone.
ugh Qcknd, I appreciate this video a lot! I feel the same way- especially with my work and family. It would be cool to bump into you one day- I'm in philly too. But the "just barely exist" part of my personality would probably prevent me from saying anything! you said it perfectly, I don't want my tattoos to dominate a perspective on me good or bad!
tattooed goblin is my new aesthetic
I totally feel this and think it’s hard for people who aren’t “heavily tattooed” to relate. ‘Exhausting’ really is the best way to describe the experience. Living in a woman’s body is tiring enough as it is since everything is sexualized in one way or another. Fortunately, I live in a city where it’s pretty impossible to be the weirdest one anywhere I go, unless I somehow end up in the suburbs, which happens on rare occasion...anyway, I’m totally using “tattoo goblin” from now on. Thank you so much for talking about this subject!
I completely understand! I get weird looks from everyone! I have a big tattoo on my right thigh. I hardly wear shorts because people always look at me weird. I get the most judgy looks when they see me with my son. It’s so annoying having everyone look at me weird because of my tattoo. We love you and it’s okay!
I feel like wanting to present yourself differently in front of different groups is a very human thing, even beyond tattoos- kind of like how you were saying that you don’t want to appear sexual in front of family. And also like, I act kind of differently with my coworkers than I do with a group of friends, which is also different than how I act with my parents etc etc. it’s super interesting and sometimes shitty how tattoos permanence affects how we try to change our behavior to fit different groups and situations. Like you can try to appear differently all you want but there’s these tattoos that are gonna kind of hinder that. I also love that you kind of addressed the fact that there’s other things that people didn’t choose that will affect other peoples’ perceptions (I immediately thought of race and ability, and Im sure there’s a lot of other factors). LOVE that you’re fostering these deep convos, so proud of u Momma Quack 💖
Honestly thank you for voicing my feelings! Sometimes, I'm with family and I prefer not being tattooed and being able to talk about something other than the fact that "yes, grandma, I'm aware tattoos are permanent" while other times I feel cool showing off my tattoos to new people I meet. I love being able to appear tattooed or not depending on different situations I am in.
I know this is a serious conversation, but, "Here's my big fat ass, do you wanna swim?"
I cracked tf up. 😂
ᶠᶠᴿᴵᶜᴷ i just get sO excited when you upload !!!
God that's exactly how I am! And sometimes if I want to assert my dominance or "subtly" help the person realize I'm older than I look I'll casually roll up my sleeves. (My tattoos balance out my braces since I'm 20 but look 15). But there are times when I'm travelling or around new people that I like to pretend I've never even walked into a tattoo shop. I agree with everything you're saying here.
I feel this. I’m an RN and I’m always covered at work and people think I’m mad about it but honestly I’m happy not to talk about myself/my body when I’m just legit trying to take care of people and go home. I love my tattoos but I don’t always want to talk in depth about them. Similarly, I don’t want to have a full conversation about my hair, my clothes, my nose rings, etc. A simple “cool tattoo” or “where did you get that” is welcome 99% of the time, but I don’t think a full unsolicited commentary about something on my body is ever welcome.
I totally understand this. About a year after getting my tattoos, although they all are mostly small, I started dating this guy whose parents were super traditional and religious. It was summer, and I forced myself to wear long sleeves and jeans so they didn't see them. My ex said it was fine, but I felt like I had to make a good impression. And lo and behold, the first day I didn't cover them, all I got was questions on meaning, or why I got them, or if they hurt, or if i plan on having them removed. It's frustrating that tattoos have the stigma that they do, and that people fixate on them like they are a beacon to your personality. Comments like "Hey, I like your tattoo" doesn't bother me too much, but once they get into questioning mode i get tired fast.
I relate to this so much!! I'm not tattooed as much as you but do have pretty visible tattoos (chest, ear, arm and legs..) and no matter how much I love my tattoos and wouldn't want them removed.. sometimes they are bothersome, sometimes I'd rather cover them up, not be tattooed, not be looked at weirdly in the street and just blend into society and not stand out. Especially, on days that I feel anxious or I'm not in the best mood. On good days, my tattoos make me feel beautiful, strong and rebellious. But on bad days, they make me feel anxious, scared of people's reaction, looked down upon and like an outcast.
Oof I feel this. I have a kewpie on one leg that gets a lot of “that creeps me out”. And a panic! At the disco tattoo that gets a lot of “that’s dumb you’ll regret it”. I wear pants most days. But. God. When I’m in a skirt or shorts, I want left alone
Since about 6months I feel the same. In winter it’s ok because I don’t show them, but in summer it became HELL. People staring, me wanting to wear a cute dress, or just present nice.
I can’t wait until they find a way to laser them totally and FASTER.
I was once kicked out of an onsen in Japan because of my tattoos :D I visited several ones in Japan before and being tattooed was never a problem, so I was a little bit too chill about it. but in this particular one there was a prohibition sign and it was so small that I just did not recognize it. just imagine being completely naked and some staff member talking exitedly to you in Japanese and you don't really know what's going on (there are only a few people knowing how to speak English)... it was the most humiliating moment of my life and I wanted to not exist in this situation. now I can laugh about it but I can totally relate to what you are talking about.
At the jimjjilbangs in the small korean city I lived in, tattooed people were kicked out or they had it posted "no tattoo"
I absolutely love hearing your perspective on these things. I can truly say that you are an incredible advocate for the community. I work in retail and am heavily tattooed, so I understand your exhaustion. But thank you for everything you do here! We love and appreciate you.
I feel ya 💜 I adjust my visibility based on where I'm going or how I'm feeling (so many more cardigans LOL)
I’ve never related to a statement more than I related to “that’s my personality: to just barely exist”
I relate to this so hard. Being tattooed is not the only or the most interesting thing about me. It's not the only thing I ever want to talk about. I just want to exist as me sometimes. Like I get that I chose this, but it's not like by choosing to dye my hair I only ever want to talk about having blonde/dyed hair, or that by choosing being into skincare that it's the only thing I ever want to talk about.
I have a weird perspective of this. I have a full back tattoo and I'm working on my sleeves and I have my legs tattooed. I'm not exactly heavily tattooed but I'm getting there. I am soooo excited when someone comes up to me and talks to me about my tattoos. I love talking about them and seeing people get excited with me about them. I haven't had a lot of experience of people making me feel exhausted. I freaking love you and your channel(I've been a fan, viewer, and subscriber for a hot minute), but unfortunately when you'd mention that people coming up to you was upsetting I was shocked. I did not understand this point of view. I'm really glad you posted this to explain why you feel like this sometimes. Im a little worried now though....I get excited when I see another person with visible tattoos and I like to approach them and show them mine too. Now I'm worried I've offended some people....I've never had anyone get visibly or vocally mad at me regarding this, but I really hope my excitement doesn't make people feel exhausted :/ now I can at least be thoughtful and look at what people are doing. Like maybe I don't need to approach someone in their every day life. But if I'm out with my friends it's okay? Maybe it's never okay....this is just confusing for me lol please educate me.
I’ve never been so early oh my god. I’ve been so ready for this
I resonate, because I've always hated any kind of attention, and also always loved both the process and the art of tattoos. Being in a city certainly does enhance this feeling for me as well. I go back and forth several times with what to wear sometimes, so as not to be too exposed or distracting which is honestly fucked and a continuation of societal pressures that are ingrained in me. The idea that assumptions are being made, and that I'm being observed is discomforting, at times!!
Totally agree. I don't think I have this feeling as much as you do, but there are some times where I want to be covered, just blend in, and do what I need to do. Like whenever I take the city bus and I know I'm going to be stopping at the bus plaza, there are a lot of sketchy people and druggies, and I just don't feel safe down there. So I prefer to be covered whenever I go there. Whenever I've shown my thigh piece I will always get people coming up to me, asking questions, or trying to start a conversation to segway into hitting on me. I just don't want that attention in that area of town. I just want to get on my bus and go to my destination. So yea there are definitely instances, places, or crowds of people where I get this feeling of exhaustion and just wanting to blend in so that I don't receive any unwanted attention.
Totally relate, I only had two small script tattoos on my ankles which nobody ever notices, last week I had my first session for a half sleeve, and now I feel heavly-ish tattooed, but I chose the half sleeve (shoulder to elbow) because of your videos and how you mentioned sometimes it's nicer, more comfortable, or however you want to put it, not to have any visible tattoos. My bosses did not really give me a hard time for it, but I only keep it visible now because we're in the middle of an insane heatwave, other than that, I must say I' d rather not have the disapproving looks I got 😏
I totally get what you're saying!! We shouldn't have to face judgement and constant questions when we just want to have a normal low key day. I do my best to hide my tattoos because I dont care for the unsolicited comments from strangers.
My husband feels this way and I feel like for him personally its because he’s the kind of person that wants to make everyone happy and cares about peoples opinions about him. Now I’m a quite extreme person in the sense that I really dont give a shit about anyone that isnt extremely close to me or what they think of me. In my case I have never felt that way but it is a really interesting conversation to have and try to put yourself in another person’s shoes. I think its really important to have someone you can talk to about those kind of things and even if they don’t completely understand, for them to just listen is valuable.
To a lesser extent, I relate with this. Some days, especially when Im having a hard time with life, I don’t want to be tattooed. I cover up, I don’t roll up my sleeves, and I just don’t want to be seen. There are also times when I go to the grocery store, and I’ll wear a sweater, and be like”none of you know I have tattoos.” And it’s a cool little secret I have. Then other times I do want to be seen, I want to be loud. Knowing that everyone who sees me has an opinion about my tattoos, whether it’s a quick thought, love or hate, it’s reassuring at times. But you feel all those things at different times.
I so feel you! I am not heavily tattooed, I only have one quote on my forearm and I plan to get tattooed more this year, even planning a full sleeve because I just love them so much. However sometimes I loathe my one tattoo because of the people around me. I can't count the times people just started to touch and tag my arm or to bend in a weird way to read my quote, people I barely know asking me about it. The quote stems from a very dark time in my life and is very intimate and ... I don't regret it, but also I don't always want to talk about it, I don't always want to have that deep of a conversation. When I work I want to work, when I do sports I want to do that and nothing more. I love attention and I love my bright coloured hair, but I'm not good with a mass of people and all those "I'm hyper positive about tattoos so I'll start pestering you about it at random times for about an hour" is too much smh. Funny enough it isn't if I talk to a tattooed person, maybe because they ask from another perspective ... or maybe because they ask other questions. I barely had a foreign tattooed person ask what my tattoo means, now that I think about it, but had just general acknowledgement and questions about technicalities and the art which I by far prefer.