How’s, Why’s and What If’s

1. You've said to me and others that returns before 3 years are premature and that those who have alienators will leave again. You seem to always be right about this. My question is: how do you know this? Why is 2 years not enough, but 4 might be enough? I understand there's nothing that can snap them out of it other than time that passes. Why is it? What is it exactly that time does? I initially thought it had to do with how long limerence lasts, but now I question it since I read that the affair isn't the root of the problem; it's just a symptom.
2. I had a good marriage (even my MLCer says so), but there were things I neglected, like 'our time' (we had young children). At times, I blame myself. I think that maybe I could have prevented this whole mess if I had done things differently. Well, was it preventable?
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