This reminds me of something the author Brandon Sanderson said in his college lectures that he put up on YT. He said that you can think of prose like a pyramid. At the top is Abstract, and at the bottom is concrete. Abstract words are the undescriptive words like walked, dog, and killed. Concrete are the descriptive ones like marched, mutt, or assassinated. Sanderson said that ideally you want to find a way to pull down on the pyramid and paint a more vivid picture while using less words. For example, instead of saying, "John was feeling quite angry," you could say, "John was irate." It uses less words and paints a clearer picture!
"The man forced his massive frame into the ancient-looking rocking chair, silently praying it wouldn't crumble under his weight." Love the idea! Thanks for your numerous helpful insights into writing!
The monstrous gangster squeezed into the tiny diner booth, prompting the waitress to call over the owner. I've only discovered my love for writing a couple of weeks back, so tutorials like these really bolster my knowledge and make me excited to learn more. Thank you.
The scarred older gentleman casually gestured for his hulking bodyguard to pull out a chair before taking a seat with an air of nonchalance. "So, what is your business with me?" the older man inquired, his battered knuckles reaching for a cigar from his pocket. His bodyguard, whose hands appeared polished and well-kept, leaned forward to light it for him. A smirk played on my lips as I settled back in my chair, meeting the older man's gaze. "Well, I'd like to start by talking to the actual person in charge, if that's alright with you." The older man's eyes widened, his cigar frozen mid-inhale. "I beg your pardon?" Thank you for providing another excellent piece of advice.
As Charlie sank into the seat, his legs were lifted from the ground and dangled in discomfort; the rubber soles of his shoes just barely scraping at the coarse rug below. Charlie never seemed to fit into anything quite right. Furniture, clothing, situations and settings of all sorts. He had learned long ago that he was one size too small for this world, and now found himself at the chair's mercy. It too, seemed to understand the poor man's plight, and so cradled him softly in it's plush fabric and feather-filled pillows.
Gasping with pain, the pensioner collapsed into his wheelchair, his bony translucent fingers clutching the arm-rests. The player threw himself against the substitute bench, furious with his performance. After a long day at work, the labourer fell onto the sofa, cold beer in hand. I really like this idea! Thanks!
"The smug monster lazily sunk into his victim’s blood-splattered wheelchair, wearing a madman’s grin that could never be unseen." This was a super helpful video, by the way. Subscribed!
Love this advice! Here’s my attempt: “The grieving king sank into his late queen’s throne, wishing to restore some semblance of her presence back in his life”
I love your videos and website: The smug, young buck, sauntered into the room and claimed his cushioned, hover-chair throne at the head of the table like a newly crowned king.
Thank you for the quick trick. I never thought of this before, it's immensely helpful. As for the sentence: "The blob of flesh throw himself down on that poor sofa, smashing it with all his weight."
The duke turned his nose up at the rusted chair and deposited himself cautiously, as though he expected it to buckle under the sheer weight of his stature.
The seasoned captain thoughtfully strolled across the dimly lit command room, dragging his hand on the firm headrest of his sleek seat and giving it a slight nudge. The fully equipped captain chair blinked to life as all eyes watch their leader lowered into the most respected space on the ship.
"That demon of a man sprawled himself all over what had been, just a moment ago, a normal armchair - and had now been transformed into a sinfully decadent thing you'd expect to find in the most opulent of rooms."
@@StoryGrid you should venture out on your own, I find. Your video's and the message you convey are more important than putting a story in an excel sheet.
The old hippie collapsed into his ratty recliner. (Why no, I didn't draw from life to write that, why would you ask such a thing?) Great episode! But I had to laugh at (paraphrased) "You need to pick the exact word that quickly and powerfully conveys meaning to the reader... And here at Story Grid, we call that Valence, a word that none of you know the meaning of." ("We're big on irony!") Coyne loves his arcane terms. (top spot goes to "phere")
A chronically-online narcissist, she abused the reader with overwrought verbs, searing adjectives, and uncharacteristic nouns, then reveled in the praise of her "lyrical prose."
When a bouldering brute rolled passed me and screwed himself into the window seat, I scarfed down my stash of pills and waited for my mind to fly away from this plane.
The bludgeoned man dumped himself onto the dying chair, finishing the job, as they both splinted to the floor in a miserable heap. P.S. Thank you for the exercise!
"The grandfather straddled a toddler-sized chair, cradling a plastic tea cup as if it were Christ's holy grail." While I agree that one's writing should have AN opinion in it, I disagree that it should be the writer's opinion. The opinion should belong to the POV of the character you're writing.
This reminds me of something the author Brandon Sanderson said in his college lectures that he put up on YT. He said that you can think of prose like a pyramid. At the top is Abstract, and at the bottom is concrete. Abstract words are the undescriptive words like walked, dog, and killed. Concrete are the descriptive ones like marched, mutt, or assassinated. Sanderson said that ideally you want to find a way to pull down on the pyramid and paint a more vivid picture while using less words. For example, instead of saying, "John was feeling quite angry," you could say, "John was irate." It uses less words and paints a clearer picture!
"The man forced his massive frame into the ancient-looking rocking chair, silently praying it wouldn't crumble under his weight."
Love the idea! Thanks for your numerous helpful insights into writing!
Love it! - Tim
The monstrous gangster squeezed into the tiny diner booth, prompting the waitress to call over the owner.
I've only discovered my love for writing a couple of weeks back, so tutorials like these really bolster my knowledge and make me excited to learn more. Thank you.
The scarred older gentleman casually gestured for his hulking bodyguard to pull out a chair before taking a seat with an air of nonchalance. "So, what is your business with me?" the older man inquired, his battered knuckles reaching for a cigar from his pocket. His bodyguard, whose hands appeared polished and well-kept, leaned forward to light it for him. A smirk played on my lips as I settled back in my chair, meeting the older man's gaze. "Well, I'd like to start by talking to the actual person in charge, if that's alright with you." The older man's eyes widened, his cigar frozen mid-inhale. "I beg your pardon?"
Thank you for providing another excellent piece of advice.
Great job! - Tim
excellent reminder for my morning writing session... valencing. thank you.
"The disheveled drunkard teetered on the rusty folding chair."
Great! - Tim
The man reached out cautiously, feeling for the arm rest, before he repositioned himself and lowered his feeble frame into the seat.
Really good! - Tim
I can see this…
The dude lounged in the blue tattered lazyboy. Thank you for the tips. I knew something was missing from my writing and you've definitely helped.
This advice is gold!
I’m grateful! 🙏🏻
As Charlie sank into the seat, his legs were lifted from the ground and dangled in discomfort; the rubber soles of his shoes just barely scraping at the coarse rug below. Charlie never seemed to fit into anything quite right. Furniture, clothing, situations and settings of all sorts. He had learned long ago that he was one size too small for this world, and now found himself at the chair's mercy. It too, seemed to understand the poor man's plight, and so cradled him softly in it's plush fabric and feather-filled pillows.
"The groaning man slumped in the recliner." I wanted to indicate that the man was tired, and that the chair would be a comfy place to rest.
The young man kept a straight posture as he lowered himself to a firm seat.
Great! - Tim
Gasping with pain, the pensioner collapsed into his wheelchair, his bony translucent fingers clutching the arm-rests.
The player threw himself against the substitute bench, furious with his performance.
After a long day at work, the labourer fell onto the sofa, cold beer in hand.
I really like this idea! Thanks!
"The smug monster lazily sunk into his victim’s blood-splattered wheelchair, wearing a madman’s grin that could never be unseen."
This was a super helpful video, by the way. Subscribed!
Love this advice! Here’s my attempt: “The grieving king sank into his late queen’s throne, wishing to restore some semblance of her presence back in his life”
This is some really awesome advice
"The faerie flittered onto the throne."
I love your videos and website:
The smug, young buck, sauntered into the room and claimed his cushioned, hover-chair throne at the head of the table like a newly crowned king.
❤️ nice! - Tim
the toad flopped onto his lilypad
Ha! Nice! - Tim
This one’s great!
Thank you for the quick trick. I never thought of this before, it's immensely helpful.
As for the sentence: "The blob of flesh throw himself down on that poor sofa, smashing it with all his weight."
The duke turned his nose up at the rusted chair and deposited himself cautiously, as though he expected it to buckle under the sheer weight of his stature.
So good! - Tim
The man slumped into the recliner , cranked the footrest while simultaneously shoved his shoes off his dog tired feet.
The old man groaned as he plopped into the recliner.
"The villain reclined onto the gilded throne."
The husband crumpled onto the leather sofa, once pristine but now reeked with acrid tobacco smoke, the sharp tang of lipstick, and his broken vows.
This is great! - Tim
"the young man's body sank into the chair for comfort he never felt before".
Love it! - Tim
The dashing young man perched on the edge of his sturdy oak chair, the slight bounce of his knee all that hinted of nervousness.
Really good! - Tim
The seasoned captain thoughtfully strolled across the dimly lit command room, dragging his hand on the firm headrest of his sleek seat and giving it a slight nudge. The fully equipped captain chair blinked to life as all eyes watch their leader lowered into the most respected space on the ship.
I think “treacherously negative” is still too much telling. The reader should be *shown* the mental struggle, and draw that conclusion themselves
The killer sat down heavily on the only chair that wasn’t covered in blood.
Love it! - Tim
The hesitant man slouched in the office chair hiding behind his monitor from the adorakable coworker he had a crush on.
Good! One thing... could you show me how he is being hesitant instead of telling me that he is being hesitant? - Tim
It was like WWIII for the dwarf to reach the stool.
Ha! Nice! - Tim
Freakin' hilarious
The hero lowered himself slowly into the sumptuous leather armchair and smiled the smile of a man who knew the truth.
The man flopped into his favourite chair and let out an exasperated sigh. "Jeez, it's been a shitty day."
Good job! - Tim
Perched on the edge of the barn roof, the violinist played one last invigorating tune, before he would abandon this forlorn, desolate farm forever.
Love it! - Tim
"That demon of a man sprawled himself all over what had been, just a moment ago, a normal armchair - and had now been transformed into a sinfully decadent thing you'd expect to find in the most opulent of rooms."
The judge slumped amoeba-like on the bench, as spineless as the law he represented.
The weary elder collapsed into the chair, letting out a sigh of relief as they began to rest.
Good! - Tim
:D Thank you!@@StoryGrid
The oxgenarian slouched in his recliner.
Nice! - Tim
Love it! - Tim
The tired father slumped in his armchair hoping that his 3-year-old wouldn't wake up again tonight.
Nice! - Tim
The jester settled himself on the unattended throne and let out a fart.
Love it! - Tim
Grandpa leaned his weary bones on his walker as he struggled onto the sofa.
Love it! - Tim
The drunk swayed on the barstool.
Perfect! - Tim
@@StoryGrid Thanks for the great video! I'll definitely watch all of them.
Brief and to the point. Nice work
The old man slumped in the worn-out armchair, grunting as a new lump developed beneath his right buttock.
Nice! - Tim
The captain checked his station and eased himself still poised into the con
"Zeus slumped back in his throne."
He dropped his rump into the depression of his sun-faded armchair and began snoring almost immediately.
Ha! Love it! - Tim
Great advice
"The cavalier made himself comfortable on the throne" ...I suppose. Overthrow vibes achieved?
The maniac leaped into the cockpit.
Nice! - Tim
Lydia was missing and I knew that I was fucked.
I love how Tim looks more and more tired in every new video.
damn i thought the same. Kinda had the idea he is forced to do these video because he is held hostage and fights for survival. But i could be wrong.
You are thinking negatively
Hahahah. I'm dying over here. It's comment threads like these that keep me going while chained to this metal bench in Shawn's basement. - Tim
@@StoryGrid you should venture out on your own, I find. Your video's and the message you convey are more important than putting a story in an excel sheet.
The black wolf pulled himself from the shadows and bore into the arrogant coyote with eyes of searing red flame.
"Leave."
As he poured himself into the chair, its barely adequate legs creaked nearly to the point of shattering under his massive form.
Great! - Tim
The emaciated fellow sat on a milk crate on 85th and Elmwood, begging for a little change from passerbys.
So good! - Tim
The young man slumped into the worn out chair after a long night's shift.
Captain Wislowski lowered his ample frame into the creaking wooden chair.
This bewhiskered relic of empire now occupied my chesterfield.
The fellow collapsed into the chairs embrace.
Nice! - Tim
The flustered accountant relaxed his tie and deflated through the cloud of smoke to the throws scattered against the wall
The contours of my father surrounded me on the throne, echoing, "You are no man."
This is really great. Conveys a huge sense of legacy in one sentence
Nice job! - Tim
@@walterrlong Thank you! 👑
@@StoryGrid Thanks, teach! 👍
The arrogant landlord rudely slouched on the only armchair in the sitting room, disregarding the presence of my mom.
Great! - Tim
After a long day's work, the man collapsed into his old chair without a care for its cracked legs.
Fantastic! - Tim
The rickety man of fleshy bones trembled into the park bench, settling with a toothless grin as if satisfied with the view of his final resting place.
The old hippie collapsed into his ratty recliner.
(Why no, I didn't draw from life to write that, why would you ask such a thing?)
Great episode!
But I had to laugh at (paraphrased) "You need to pick the exact word that quickly and powerfully conveys meaning to the reader... And here at Story Grid, we call that Valence, a word that none of you know the meaning of."
("We're big on irony!")
Coyne loves his arcane terms. (top spot goes to "phere")
Nice sentence! And yes we do love highly specific language. - Tim
A chronically-online narcissist, she abused the reader with overwrought verbs, searing adjectives, and uncharacteristic nouns, then reveled in the praise of her "lyrical prose."
Love it! - Tim
My son dropped into the seat reserved for him next to his wife’s closed casket.
Great! - Tim
The survivor lounged untroubled in the better man’s seat.
Good! - Tim
The lunatic bounced on a beachball in the raging storm.
Ha! Nice! - Tim
Got it! Write better, deeper POV.
The veteran sank into the armchair.
Good! - Tim
When a bouldering brute rolled passed me and screwed himself into the window seat, I scarfed down my stash of pills and waited for my mind to fly away from this plane.
Nice! - Tim
The bludgeoned man dumped himself onto the dying chair, finishing the job, as they both splinted to the floor in a miserable heap.
P.S. Thank you for the exercise!
Nice! - Tim
The man smiled at me as he tucked in his skirt and settled into my seat.
The disinterested teenager slouched on the sofa.
Nice! - Tim
The patriarch sat erect in his Windsor chair as he glowered at the servants before him.
The transvestite arranged his pink frock just so and floated onto the chaise lounge
"The grandfather straddled a toddler-sized chair, cradling a plastic tea cup as if it were Christ's holy grail."
While I agree that one's writing should have AN opinion in it, I disagree that it should be the writer's opinion. The opinion should belong to the POV of the character you're writing.
The obese boss squashed his poor leather chair
Ha! Good! - Tim
Guessing you’re not a big fan of Raymond Carver
Caregiver bathe her patient his mind has explode million pieces.
The old drunk was passed out on the toilet
Good job! - Tim