I've been SA'd twice, both times by strangers. The first time was when I was 8. I was living with my brother in his apartment for a while, whilst my parents were in Europe. One of the days I was there, his friend was there. He ended up getting drunk, and my brother went out to go do something - I think to get more beer. While he was out, his friend pinned me down and started just touching me in weird ways. When my brother came back, he hit him with a bat and kicked him out. My brother got jail for a week; the 'friend' didn't get any jailtime. The second time was this year. May 14th. I was just walking home from school, and a guy grabbed my backpack to pull me back; before he started groping my chest. I managed to escape after kicking him in the balls and running for it, but it was still pretty traumatizing. I'll never forget these days in my life. I'm only 12.
I hope you're okay :( I'm sorry you had to go through all those crap.... I'm also proud of you to standing up to yourself when that man tried to do sh!t to you..
Not a victom of SA, but I was groomed, and not online like most, but a person irl, in my life, I couldn't get away, constantly harassing me when I was alone, I was little, 3rd grade, I'm turning 15, in 9th grade now, I never forgave him, never, he makes me feel discusting Update: so last year he got arrested and we have a restraining order now :) Edit: we are getting the hell out of where I am rn 😍😍!! Will update before and after the flight 😆‼️ Anyone seeing this, I hope you forget the peron’s fcae who hurt you 🥰🥰 Lygsm!! /p
I’ve been SA before. By my SPECIAL ED TEACHER! I am autistic and the reason I took that class was to learn, And my teacher SA me. The principal didn’t believe me bc “All autistic ppl lie. And are overdramatic” so I dealt with it for 10 months. And it kept happening, so I told my mom and she helped.
Not a victim of SA, but a child who’s been sexualized numerous times. Please remember that YOU are valid. No matter what happened, what they did, YOU matter, please don’t forget it. I love you very much and you’re important, I swear it. ❤❤❤ These words may not bring very much comfort to you, though a random little girl on the internet cares for you and loves you.
Being a SA victim since I was 3 has really messed me up, I mean the person who started it all was my own father then my cousin then friends and.... I just feel used. Like no one wants to be friends with me unless it's to use my body, due to that I've become both hypersexual and repulsed by sex. I need to go to a doctor soon or I am going to break.
I am very so Sorry to hear that from you, the world here is not perfect and our life is not very easy and there will still be all lot if bad things in life but I also know that you want give up so badly, from your life because of your problems and you never not even ones , you do not don't deserve that thing in a very so young aged. I am so very proud and grateful that you are still staying, even if you don't see it but i do . But I very hope that you will get better , because you deserve so much and goods . You are a very strong and awesome person.
Hey sweetheart, this is half a year late but I want to remind you that you have such a beautiful soul. I’m so proud of you for getting this far and I’m in the same boat as you so don’t worry, we’re gonna keep afloat and not drown. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Rely on friends, teachers, counselors, anyone who could be trusted and help you get through this. 🫂
Not SA but I was groomed online by a "friend" when I was 13 y.o boy. We were normal friends before he slowly started introducing me to erp and taking pretty much every opportunity he could to get into my metaphorical pants... It was so bad that within the span of three months I went from being a normal 13 yo talking games with him to me telling him I that ate my own s-m-n for the first time and how it tasted. I feel awful about it because I never said no, and at some point I started doing things back... he introduced me to his other friends who did similar things to me... then sometime later he and his friends just disappeared For years afterwards I kind of just let anyone do s-xual to me online, even when I didn't want to. I don't remember how it stopped or why... it just did around when I was 16 or 17. I'm 18 now. I'm still dealing with a lot of problems and I feel so much shame it hurts. I feel ashamed because... somehow I miss him. I know what he did was wrong but I miss how it felt... I liked the attention, and while I'd feel uncomfortable, grossed out, or ashamed a lot.. I kind of liked how it felt when he did that to me... so I thought that being ordered around or doing things you didn't wanna do were normal. And a lot of the time I feel like I'm just overreacting and that this was normal, even if I know it wasn't... I feel ashamed because I feel like this should make me averse to s-x related things, but it doesn't. I want even more. And that makes me feel disgusted at myself... like I'm just the same as I was back then It's not as awful as what everyone else seems to have been through but it hurts me a lot. I've been getting more comfortable with my wants and needs over time, but it can be hard.. Thanks for reading if you took the time
Hey man, I'm really sorry that happened to you. No one should have to go through that. I hope you get the help you need and start to feel better soon. Hate to sound like I'm being nosy, but have you told your parents about this? If not, then you probably should, and get some therapy. Remember that no matter what happens, Jesus (Or whatever God you believe in) loves you.
Insanely similar to what I had, I understand you very well. I feel disgusted with myself every day, but I try. Although I'm not very good at holding on, it seems to me that I'm at the limit
So similar but it was irl one of my czn brother and introduced me to another czn as an object I felt uncomfortable but I didn't do anything to stop it.
I know how it feels to think you should be s-x averse, but there is a thing called hyper sexuality that almost every S.A. survivor experiences. It makes you more sexual than the average person.
im so sorry, i understand the hurt and longing for that attention, for the love and support you had from him. its normal, to miss someone who hurt you. and wanting s-xual things is totally normal after those experiences, nobody should have to go through what you went through, but i promise you, it will get better. once you hit the bottom, the only way to go is up.
I feel so uncomfortable. I had 0 time to adapt to his sexual “jokes”. He hasn’t even touched me sexually but his words.. they send shivers down my already cold spine. One day i was sitting having lunch with my friends and my crush. He came along, stood behind me and begun making “movements” at his areas. My friend moved me out of the way. (Bless her soul.) Ill give you an example of what he says to me. “You remind me of my toe (wtf) sooner of later im going to bang you onto a table.” W rizz my ass… i feel so uncomfortable.. i don’t what to do, its not sexual exploitation so theres not much i can do. Hes not done anything to me but say sexually uncomfortable things.. i just don’t know his intentions. I know its all “fun and jokes” but.. just why? I will now give you a book line. “Eating her lunch, the last person she wanted to see had secretly appeared behind her. He began to make movements that would make anyone uncomfortable. A shiver was sent down her already iced spine. She couldn’t hide her discomfort.”
That IS sexual harassment, please tell someone. Don't stop telling people until someone helps you, even if you end up telling someone that tries to use it against you. Remember that nobody has the right to shame you because an idiot can't control himself. There is no wrong way to say no. It doesn't matter if you get mad, or "rude", get loud and get angry if you have to. Just stay safe.
Hey, I know this is a hard and scary time right now but I advise you to tell a teacher or adult. Making sexual jokes or innuendos is inappropriate for a school so they should punish the boy, even if it won’t do that much. If you’re lucky you can get it on his record and they’ll make it so you don’t have classes with him anymore. I’m speaking from experience, so know from one victim to another it’ll be okay. ❤
TW: ....Deep stuff When I was in 5th grade, I had a 6th grade GF. (I'm male.) One day we decided it would be cool to hang out every other weekend by this old run-down park. My parents thought it was cute and agreed. However, around a month later or so, she was saying stuff like, "Wanna do it?" Me, being the dumb 5th grader I am, was confused, and disagreed. She pinned me onto the wall. She removed my shirt, and just touched me everywhere, I could NEVER forget the horrible feeling. After she was done, she left me shirtless, and walking home. My parents were dead asleep by time I came back. The next day, I tried explaining to them what happened, but I couldn't bring myself to the edge to say something, to speak up. I was afraid "She," would do it once again. At school, I couldn't focus. All I thought was about how we had to meet up next weekend, and possibly she would do it again. After a week, and it was the next weekend, I decided to stay home. Everything went normal- I ate breakfast, stayed on the couch to play video games, and all that good stuff. The doorbell rang. I was scared; Did she find where I lived- How did she know?! My mom opened the door, and there she was, giving me a startling glare, so bad that I dropped my remote. She dragged me into my room, and reassured my mom that, "We would be playing a scary game, and that everything she heard would be normal." After a while of distracting her, she finally pinned me onto the bed. She glared at me, before just going at it. After a while, my mom walked in to see if we wanted cookies, and she found, "Her," SA-ing me. My mom kicked her out, and I never saw her again. I could NEVER forget the things she's done to me, and the troubles she caused me even till this day.
i know that you wrote this message a month ago- but what she did is actually so disgusting and im very sorry for your mom to witness that, and im very sorry for YOU that had to experience that. it must have been a terrible feeling to have that at such a young age... i hope things are better now or soon ❤🩹
That sounds horrofying...i'm really sorry. I hope that you are doing better now. I don't even know how people could be so cruel, that's just fcked up. Wish you the best😞🤍
I have never been sa'd or groomed, but I'm hypersexual and having fantasies about friends or strangers I don't have romantic feelings for makes me feel so disgusting. And it feels so disgusting and horrible especially when it's about a family member. When I was 5 or 6 I got exposed to p0rN by a younger cousin. And I liked it and I kept and still keep watching it. It makes me feel really bad and I don't want to feel this way. I started doing "stuff" to myself when I was 8, and it's so bad and I've never really told anyone until a few days ago I told my cousins, one of them is the one who showed me, and I love her sm, in a cousin way ofc, but I feel bad because so much stuff has also happened to her and my other cousin. It sucks, I wish I had someone to talk to this about. Thanks for listening if you are reading this, and remember you are loved, and if you are ever going through anything you're not alone. And make sure to talk to someone you trust about it, or even if it's online. Thats where I usually talk to people. :) You are loved. 💕
IM NOT ALONE??? omg, omg omg omg, this made me smile. I finally find someone I could relate to with my hyper sexuality, thank you for having the courage to say this all, I’m so PROUD OF YOUUUU!!!
@@Nori.ohnori tysm! When I was younger like 4 years ago I was really nervous about speaking up but I realized other people feel the same way, and I don’t want them to feel the same way I do :3
As someone who has unfortunately been a victim to SA, I can admit that it's downright fucking awful. People never listen to you until its too late, or they just don't want to listen and do what they want anyways. I'm a transgender (ftm) who has unfortunately not been able to get bottom surgery yet, and it was therefor taken advantage of. In short, people need to learn how to keep their hands to themselves and their dicks in their pants. People are too young to be dealing with this. I, personally, was sixteen. And I can never live my life normally because I think everyone and their mother is out to hurt me now. (It's even worse when your own mother barely cared when you told her what happened, even after taking you to the hospital. I don't know who my attackers were, and I never hope to see them again. But jesus christ, shouldn't your own *parent* show some sort of emotional support?)
@@TheMightyGodJimmy It's a struggle to even go outside after that and I'm really stinkin skittish, but I'm doing my best to try and get back into society. At least I still have my dad to look after me. I'm starting to learn in households like mine, the father will always be on your side more than the mother.
your mom didnt seem to care? im very sorry for you and completely with you on that one, she could have at least asked if you needed anything if she didnt know what to do.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through such pain, but although many might not believe you, we do. I believe you and whatever you had to face. I hope you’re recovering well right now, sending love :,)
My parents never believed me. She pinned me down on my own bed when I was 13. My dad said it was because she was testing me to see if I was truly gay.(I'm actually transgender) It has been 2 years. I am currently 15. They still never believed me. And it's only getting worse. As I thought it was bad to be touched on the bus and in math class. I know what it is like to be dragged into bathroom stalls and choked. Things have only gotten worse. And my parents have never understood.
I’m so sorry that’s happening. I can’t imagine going through that, especially as a male being assaulted by a female I can’t imagine going through that.
Feel so bad for you took someday you get help and we and they put those people in jail for what they did to you. I've also been sa in 20 different occasions somewere sh sexual harassment and I get what you're going through and it must be so tough we're all here to support you and whatever decision or action you choose to make
My dad wouldn’t believe me either when I was getting SA, he literally called me the devil and a liar. Just cause that man knew me my entire life, he wouldn’t believe it, he still doesn’t till this day. He kept making up excuses and defending him. He asked why I didn’t yell for help, but it wasn’t that easy for me. I would always freeze in fear, and when I did try to move away, he’d just pull me in closer. He just doesn’t understand how scary it was to be in that situation and even my aunt turned against me saying she knows how it is and the way I acted was nothing like being SA. They both kept saying how I was acting fine and looked like nothing happened but really I was scared asf when he was even in the house or in the same room as me. Hearing those footsteps scared me badly too. My dad only had to kick him out when CPS got involved, which he made me lie and say nothing happened. Which I did comply with cause he made threats and he threatened to sell my cat, who he knows I love so much and is like my baby. I wish he was supportive and trusted me more, but he was just ignorant.
As someone who was SA-ed from 6 till about 9 or 10 years old, this playlist makes me feel comfortable that there others who had a similar expirence and helps me know im not alone. All the people i told about it either made fun of me or didn't belive me, some would mock me and said that my brother coulc never do that bc "he's to perfect" or "you just recent him for being the favrite child" or things of the sorts
Your brother is a disgusting man, personally I don't even think brother is the appropriate term because a brother should never do things like this. He doesn't deserve you and he is far from perfect. You deserve better
What your brother put you through is disgusting I’m sorry he did anything to you I believe every little word you say. I WISH ALL S.A. GROOMING AND Rp VICTIMS A WONDERFUL LIFE❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!
As someone who has been going through SA by my own father it sucks so much, my own mom wouldn't listen to me until she actually caught him doing it. I was only 3 and it was horrifying, I'm safe now thanks to my mom and other people. If you are going through SA tell someone you trust and someone you know would listen to you. It is not your fault at all
I told an adult. I told her what he did. She didnt care. She didnt bother. She asked me if i wanted to see him again, to talk about it. I cant even see someone who looks similar to him without fucking breaking down.
TW SA i was sitting in my room and i heard my door open. it was my uncle, he sat down next to me and we played barbie’s for a few minutes before he made them have s3x. he was groping me whilst doing this. he said “it’s a fun game people play”. being 3 years old i didn’t think anything of it. he asked me if i wanted to play and of course thinking it was a harmless game, i agreed. he took my hand and led me to my bed and r4ped me. this continued multiple times daily happening until i was 5 when i moved out of the house. my grandma still lives there and he’s in prison for drugs. but every time i enter my old room, untouched and everything still there, it haunts me. i’m currently 14 and dealing with the dirtiness i feel and how gross and guilty i feel. i’m making it through but in a very unhealthy manner. thank you for taking the time to read this it means a lot to me.
I was SA’d on August 27th 2021- Or at least I believe it to be SA. I’ll tell my story in the next paragraph. TW: Grooming, SA, Pedophilia(?), Incest(?), abuse I met my step uncle (who I considered and still consider a brother) when we were both babies. He is 4 years older than me. I was 8 when he got sexual. It was 2020. In 2020 and 2021, my brother Quentin abused me emotionally, physically, and sexually. In 2020 he was mainly just violent. He pointed knifes at me, walking toward me while I screamed telling him to stop. He was then super nice and loving towards me. In 2021, he got sexual with me. There were 3 events. I’m telling them in order. The first event was me and him playing truth or dare. I’m not sure who asked first, but I think he dared me to send a nude. I thought he was joking, so I said no, then dared him to send a nude. He did so without hesitation. The second event happened on August 27th, I think. I know that because it was right after the adopt me Axolotl came out. Me and him were playing Roblox, something we always did. We were playing Adopt me. His dad got him the Axolotl. I remember saying “I wish I had the Axolotl pet, you’re so lucky!”. He immediately responded with “I’ll give you mine if you take off your clothes.” I said no. He persisted. I said no maybe 5 times but I gave in after that. I remember being afraid he would rape me. I was so scared. I don’t know what I saw, heard, or felt, but I was scared. We negotiated on times I would show parts of my body for. I believe it was 30 seconds for upper and 15 seconds for lower. I remember quickly flashing him as a joke. I was obviously uncomfortable. I didn’t want to do it. I resisted many times, but again, I was scared. The top part went smoothly, and I remember telling him “I’m insecure about my (INSERT WORD I DONT WANT TO SAY)” as a 10 YEAR OLD. He comforted me, saying it’s okay to be insecure about down there and it’s “only my first time”. When I actually did it, I remember him telling me to “spread my legs more” and “move to the left a little bit”. I felt so violated. It was the longest 15 seconds of my life. I remember counting the seconds. Wishing they would just go faster. And then it was over. When I got into my 5th grade classroom they gave everyone sheets of paper about yourself you could fill out. I found mine a few months ago. Under fears I put “Q (Quentin’s nickname), spiders, and bugs”. In fall, my dad found the picture Quentin had sent me. I couldn’t see him anymore in person . We could only call and text. His last text to me that my mom found out about a week later? “I want pussy boob” (his exact text, he is dyslexic). My response? “Don’t we all?”. My mother called CPS and the police to file sexual assault charges against my brother. I begged her not to. I didn’t want my brother hurt. I remember crying in front of the police department. Trying not to cry when CPS interrogated me. It was so hard. So traumatic. But I love him. Now I’m hypersexual and trying to overcome addiction at 12 years old 👏👏❤️❤️😋
I was SA at a birthday party when I was 12. December 6th 2022. This has led me to try to take my own life and hurt myself yet I know that the person who did this to me will never be punished... though if you are experiencing something like this just know your not alone and people care for you
@@Sapphirephorce I can't quite tell if you're mocking people or being genuine, its hard to pick up someone's tone via text. But for the sake of this comment i'll just assume its the latter. First of all, it is not your fault. As a minor you cannot be hold accountable for someone taking advantage of you. Even if you say yes, or beg for more, or 'ask' for it, it is still illegal because a child cannot consent. Even if you wore something 'explicit' (which is just a bullshit excuse that gets them nowhere yet they still use it) you should be able to wear whatever you want, and even if it wasn't child friendly the blame is on your carer for allowing you to wear that. Even so that is no excuse for SAing an innocent angel and forcefully taking their innocence from them. By the law, you cannot be blamed. Morally, you cannot be blamed. Even by the predator, you cannot be blamed. Because it is not your fault, no matter what dimension you go to, no matter which country you visit (even if there is some sick and twisted country where 12 is the age of consent it is morally wrong) and regardless of any pathetic lowlife who tells you that you were in the wrong, its not true. It simply isn't, and that is a fact backed up by science. If a 30 year old woman cannot be blamed for her SA experience (even though she will be by some because people are heartless) then a 12 year old child cannot be, and more importantly should not be. I get that you are blaming yourself, but you shouldn't be. However if you are then don't feel too guilty about it, as far as i'm aware it is a normal reaction and coping mechanism to being taken advantage of. It is not the same as someone else blaming you, because they are not the one trying to internalize such a horrific event and deal with it, they do not have the mental pain to back up the claim they pulled out their ass. TL;DR it is *not* your fault. Sorry if I said stuff you don't understand I'm too chronically online to form coherent sentences most of the time, i'm just assuming that you're mature enough to get my points. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I know most people hate it when others try to comfort them, especially when they don't have a damn clue what they're on about, but I can't just read some of these comments and glaze over it like nothing happened. And even if i'm not making much sense my point is still true, and I don't tend to just blindly believe what i'm saying.
Daily reminder to everyone that those kinds of people don't care who you are, how old you are and how you feel after. I knew him all my life and my age didn't even have two digits at that point.
TW: Not fully r-ed but my cousin introduced the concept of s*x when he was 11 and I was 6, asked if I wanted to play dress up. Started off by him telling me to kiss “it” and just before he could do anything physical my parents called us down for dinner so I put my clothes back on inside out. Didn’t speak to that side of the family until last year and they forced me to talk to him. I still have nightmares about it, about what would have happened if I never got called down, if I never told my mom, if it had continued. I was a Child and he was well aware. He suffered no consequences, blamed it on “curiosity” That side of the family also had the nerve to say my biological brother (12 years older than me) did the same thing. He would never..
I had something similar happen and while I was scrolling through these comments I couldnt find anything I connected with. For years I gaslit myself into thinking it wasnt "that bad compared to other stories" but only when I saw and read this comment did I realized how close your story was to mine and just how horrible it was even if it wasn't full on rpe. Thank you and I genuinely hope you are doing better❤
(ok no joke HUGE TW heres a vent that contains topics like s3x, s3xual harassment) not a victim of SA, but s3xual harassment. wanna know the worst part?! she made me frantically apologize and make me tell her that me talking about how mentally drained she makes me feel was all my fault just with 4 words. "we're not friends anymore." i had a great childhood. great family. great friends. but one friend could NOT STOP torturing me. she looked me in the eye last week and said "talking to you makes me feel a tingle down there." which stuck with me. i met her in 1st grade and in 2nd grade she taught me about suicide, self harm, and s3x. then my IDIOT SELF asked what s3x FELT LIKE. i was curios, but i regret it. so much. luckily she never tried to touch me but she told me how much she wanted to. or first interaction of 4th grade was literally her saying 'let's go kiss after library and we'll practice if we ever meet a boy we like. then we can go to the bathroom after music and try to have s3x.' luckily, we didnt have time to do either of those. but now, even this year, she's STILL telling me gross things. it's still happening. help.
I was unfortunately SA-ed from 4-11 and it fucking sucked. I was manipulated and being forced in it. Fortunately, I'm getting the help and support that I need now.
Vent, talk about sh and sexual harassment: I wasnt a victim of SA but i was sexually harassed, it was by a person from school so i couldn't get away from them. One day i was over at their house bc we were dating and i wanted to spend time with them, and we had layed down on their bed to cuddle when their hand touch me. I got very uncomfortable and asked them not to touch me there, but when i aked them to move their hand, they asked me why. I got up from the bed and sat on the floor. I wish i could say that i left the house right away after that, but i didn't. I didn't understand that what they had done to me was wrong, but they did. I only understood that it was wrong about a month later when i was telling my therapist about stuff that had happened. My therapist called my mom and she sat me down and explained that it was sexual harassment and that i couldn't talk to them anymore. I ended up breaking down after that because i didn't think to leave right away and in not doing so, subjected myself to more trauma. My mom had talked to the school and i was able to stay away from them for a little while. I had gotten really depressed because of the incedent and because of everything that was happening in my home life. I even wrote a suicide note and started Sh. Im still dealing with a lot of the same problems plus the memorys but im doing a little better now. I have a friend who i can trust and talk to now, i know she wouldn't hurt me :'] i hope that anyone who is or has dealt with anything like this is doing better now ❤
Hey, I know this is a late reply, and I hope you're doing much better now, but I just thought I might share a story that is similar to yours. Last summer, I had a boyfriend who I met from school and when my mom finally found out about him I was able to go to his house. I didn't realize it at the time, but whenever I went to his house he would pure pressure me into doing sexual things, such as (TW) taking off my shirt (without a bra sometimes) touching areas, ect. I didn't realize it was sexual harassment until after it was over, when we broke up. It was going on though the entire summer and no one except some of my friends and my uncle know about this. I still interact with this person almost daily, because we go to the same school, same class and even live near each other. I also struggle with SH, and I am incredibly sorry you had to go though this. The only reason I wanted to share my story was just to remind you that you are not alone. Things will get better, always remember that. I hope this helped you at least a little bit! ❤❤
@@_catbrrito_ that actually helps a lot- I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. No one deserves to be treated or harassed like that- I hope you're doing better even if by just a little bit. thank you for this btw! I really appreciate the support considering everyone else is sick of hearing me talk about it- hope you're having a nice day :3
SA'd by my ex a year ago. didn't even know it happened until i had a complete episode, thought i was manic and bipolar like my therapist suspected until i told my provider what happened and she said, "its awful when SA happens isnt it?" sympathetically and i was besides myself. i still have nightmares even with increased meds. said it would never happen to me, blinked and was in an abusive relationship
I'm personally not a victim of sexual assault... but I feel so weird in my own skin, as a trans masc, fat, therian- i never feel like myself- i feel like i have a mask on when i smile, like im hiding whats really going on with my life? im only 13-15 and ive had to eb the grown up my whole life, and now whenever im childish im seen as immature, or such, but when im cold to others im seen as rude, too serious, a bitch, or that i cant take a joke.. i wish i had some real friends that i could talk with about my actual intrests and who i actually am. i wish i could end my current friendship, shenever i practice qauds im called a furry, never my actual idenity just making fun of me for being different. i love being around people sometimes but- sometimes im just so drained i cant.
Being a SA victem since i was 3 by my uncle and many others, personally doesn't leave that much of an impact but it was my close brother that had me so hurt, he harassed me since i was 7 going onto 13, worst years of my life.
Being sa'ed is so annoying because so many people for some reason think that being sexually touched isn't sa... IT IS. Every time somebody even touches my thighs I either freeze or start kicking, like my friend was trying to teach me how to swim and touched my thighs to move my legs and I immediately put my feet down and wouldn't let her touch me. It f--ks you up man.
I can confirm... Whenever someone tried to touch my private area i imidiately react and push their hand away... Its mechanical its not something you train...
I am very so sorry to hear that from you , you never deserve that and you ate still trying not to give up , good job and I am very proud of you and I know that the world is not will or perfect but I know that all of us , can do this .
I'm still confused even though it's been at least 5 years. He pinned me down on my bed and kissed me, touched me and showed me his parts, he said it was just a game. This happened in other places and multiple times, it made me feel very uncomfortable and dirty. I was 8-9 years old, like him, people I've told start saying that I make a lot of drama for something so minimal. This makes me doubt if what happened is something that can be validated as some type of abuse. (Sorry if my English is bad, it's not my first language and I used a translator).
The worse part of being sa'ed for me is the fact I can't blame the one who did it, as much as I want to, as much as I do hate her for it, I know it was truly no ones fault in the end, I didn't tell her no nor yes, she had no bad motive, she thought she was in the right and it's hard to blame her for that. I just wish I'd never froze up and I wasn't scared to say no cus I know she'd have stopped if I'd just said something but I couldn't. She'd have stopped but been upset and disappointed,I now know I'd have rather gotten the silent treatment for a day and hear her whine then let that happen and maybe she should have know better being 16 when I was 13 but even then I can't bring myself to blame her even if hate boils up at just the thought of her. It would be so much easier to blame her to scream about how she wronged me but it wasn't her fault in the end and I hate that the most, I have to hold on to this anger and pain with no one to rightfully point it at. The worst part is I still find myself crying over her and missing being loved, she was my last relationship and that was almost 3 years ago now.. God I can't believe how long it's been
I was SA'd once by my best friend, i was spending the night at her house and we made a bet that whoever backed out first owed the other person twenty bucks. We had been having s-x since i was twelve and she was fourteen, so it wasn't anything new. That night i wanted to stop, and i asked her if we could stop and go to sleep multiple times but she didn't stop. The next day she apologized and said that she should have stopped when i asked her too, and i forgave her because i didn't know it was that bad and because i was still little (i was 13 and she was 15 when that happened) And now that im fifteen, looking back on all the times we had s-x (all the other times i was fine with it, but it doesn't make it any better) grosses me out because i was just a kid when all of that started and it's still happening to some extent. The last time was a few months ago, and she asked for my consent first and i agreed to it but the whole time i was uncomfortable and was conflicted if i should hace asked to stop. (Though where i am the age of consent is 16 and i was not sixteen while she was.) I feel as if i have no right to call any of those experiences SA because i agreed to it and was fine with it, except for the time i said no and she kept going. I know i was just a kid and she was older than me, but I can help but blame myself for it. Whenever i think about it i feel my skin crawling, i hate when people especially women touch me, sometime the thought comes to me randomly and i feel like just breaking down into tears. I want to be angry with her, but for some reason i can't and i really hope that if she ever asks to do it again im strong enough to say no. Thank you for reading the whole thing if you took the time to do so 💖
I wasn't SAed, but I had early access to internet and it made me discover p##n when I was really young, I feel I've become hypersexual due this and I feel so awful for being like this, I'm so sorry this happened to you, I hope you're recovering for this, it wasn't your fault.💝
Your mom sucks for that. She sounds like a horrible person (The ex not your mom but like kinda) Your mom should be there for you, and you should never have to be betrayed like that by a partner.
Being a SA victim is not something to brag about. I WAS 7!! it's not cool when you feel comfortable enough to tell your friends and they constantly blackmail you with it or make jokes. it's like they'll never understand. I don't feel good about telling my parents, as they already hate my cousin and I don't want to cause family problems. it's a huge burden I hold. I had no idea what was happening then, as I was just a little kid. MY FRIENDS TRY TO ACT LIKE I'M NOT THE VICTIM! They have used the word 'muggy.' when talking about it. I feel as if no one in my school understands. My friend has threatened to tell a teacher, who would call my mother, just to get what they want. i need new friends, but I know if I leave, then ill be alone. i just cant wait to relieve myself of this burden, death will be calling. it will be nice to not worry about it.
I know! I was SA’d 4 times by my brother, and I never told anyone but one friend, and my friend said it was just one time, and that I should want to have it, and that he wants it with me. We are middle school
@@Phone_guyFnaf honestly, nobody else seems to understand. im afraid to tell anyone else as I fear what the reaction might be. we need friends who understand.
I got sa'ed at the age of 5 . He was my friend's cousin. I didn't know what he did was wrong . I was too young and scared , afraid that he will tell my parents . It was hurt, really hurt . The most painful experience. Then I sexualized myself through out the age 7-10 . I showed my body to my neighbor . Let them touch me , kiss me and much more. At the age of 11, i got a boyfriend who is also a manipulative piece of sh/t , he was 25 . We talked a lot , he seems caring but in fact, he's using me . Forced me to send inappropriate pics of my body . Then threatened to leave me if I don't . Now I'm almost 15 , i wish I could stop sexualized myself and into toxic people. I started to feel like I'm going insane , i can't stop doing it . Every Time someone accidentally touch me , i would get panicked and get a mixed feelings between disgust and wanting more
0:00 wet - dazey and the scouts 2:55 it's never enough - we are the dirt 6:35 Liquid smooth - mitski 10:22 "Haunt me ×3" - [number of terms?] 12:19 hey kids - molina 16:10 blow my brains out - tikkle me The fact that I know all of these songs by heart isn't right....
I was never groomed online but I could have easily been, luckily I saw the signs and quickly fled. Maybe he didn't intend to groom me but instead just make me feel like shit, I don't remember it was a while ago, I just remember unfriending the douche. But knowing how it felt and how awkward it made me to the point where I eagerly blocked him, and the fact that some people don't know to do that and are too innocent to understand or too broken to even care only to be taken advantage of is sad. I feel bad for anyone who went through that, and I feel much worse for people who went through more especially SA. I don't understand how you people cope, and I know most of you don't, but you're still stronger than you know if you're able to be here, to process and internalize what really happened to you and begin to untangle your emotions. Nobody deserves this, and anyone who might be worthy of it (like disgusting p3dos or smthn) should just be locked up and tormented, because nobody deserves to be stripped of their rights and used as a plaything, not even horrible, horrible people...
quick vent. TW? when i was like 7 or 6 i used to always sleep with my mom and dad because i was scared to sleep alone, my mom always left the bed because i would move a lot in my sleep, so one night i was left with my dad to fall asleep. and i guess i forgot what happened, but i fell asleep and woke up to my dads hand on my behind, with my underwear pulled down, i usually used to sleep naked because i didnt really care, i mean, i was a kid. I cant remember anything else besides waking up, i dont know if something happened, but i feel like something did. My dad was abusive either way, he used to hit my sister and yell at us when my mom left. and my grandpa was always saying if i went outside i would get raped. and even my brother said "if you go outside in that tanktop, youll get raped." which that was recently. I was exposed to A LOT of sexual stuff growing up, leading me to be a bit hypersexual. and my cousin, who is also a female, touches me randomly and says a lot of dirty things. I told her it makes me uncomfortable but she doesnt stop. She is 15, i am 11. and one more thing is, i am supposed to wear longer pants, and a bra, when there are male family members, or else i will get in trouble. thats what my mom said. like wtf, they are FAMILY. anyways, thanks for reading this if you made it this far. i just needed to get it off my chest.
Both a SA victim and Groomed (irl and online) here, Due to me being SA'ed by a babysitter's son when I was 5 and being groomed when I was 7 by a 40 year old babysitter, along with groom attempts when I was 9, I have found myself trying to avoid sex but also being hypersexual. Doesn't help when I try to talk to my parent about it and they say "maybe its cause you're watching stuff you're not supposed to" knowing about the SA, and the groom incidents, and I think the playlist captures the effects of SA or Grooming perfectly. Also for anyone reading this, you are enough, you are cared for, and things will get better. I know it may not seem like it, but just give it time, get help if you think you may need it or if it was recommended by a professional. Eat proper meals and drink plenty of water! Everything will be okay in the end kiddo.
i was friends with two people; one of them sa'd the other shortly after we all became friends. it was weird because i never expected it to happen but after it happened i didnt know how to act. Half of my friend group said that it was fake and the victim just wanted attention but the other half didnt and actually tried helping. I still cant really listen to the band that they showed me before the sa occurred. One day after the friend group broke up me and the victim walked past the spot where it apparently happened but now i think about it the spot it happened changed; at first it was in a bedroom but where they said it happened was in an back ally. Still they went into a lot of detail about what happened and it felt off to hard about something so private in such detail but i didnt say anything about it because i didnt know what to do.
It wasn't that bad, but. I remember being 6 and being glad I was pretty enough for someone to want to touch me, now that i look back at it, I just feel disgusted. I was just being touched, I can't imagine what SA victims feel.
when i was younger i had a little crush on my next-door neighbour but only bc he was the only boy i knew and i was little, he was a couple years older than me so i'd always believe what he'd tell me since i grew up being told that grown-ups are always right when he was teenager and i was around 8-9, he told me that his dog ran away in the forest outside of the neighbourhood, i loved his dog so much bc she reminded me of my dog before she passed away so i agreed to help him we "searched" for a couple hours until he knew that we were alone, he suddenly wanted to play truth or dare to pass the time, we did dumb little dares and truths until he dared me to take off all of my clothes at first i was confused but bc he was older, i assumed he knew better, he began touching me in inappropriate ways that i can't type here so ... use your imagination i was too young to understand, he spent a couple minutes having his sick fun with me until he finished ... he told me that he'll tell everyone i made it up if anyone found out bc nobody would believe me bc i was little i never saw him again once my parents found out, since they found blood in my underwear ... after that, my mind has just become filthy with sexual thought bc of him and for those who are somehow still reading this, he locked his dog in the trunk of his dads car to have an excuse
TW FOR POSSIBLE SA: i honestly feel like what happened was SA..idk i feel like it was my fault that i was forced outside naked because my parents did it as a punishment, yk? and i feel disgusting and sexualized from it. i was only 8. why did they do that? cuz of a mess i made??? why did they feel the need to do that? even 7 years later i still feel guilty and disgusting..
Not a SA victim but a victim of 2 groomers. I was 9 when all of this happened, and really NO ONE deserves to be treated this way. I was playing in a random among us game and two guys there (a white and orange duo if i remember right) were looking for NSFW rp and i was suddenly being picked on as the others were kicked out and the round went private. Then they made me roleplay like that and I had no idea how to react so i simply decided to take it and go along with the rp until they asked for my number and then I freaked out and finally left. I never realized how horrible that situation was until i was around 11 when I realized about it. And I remembered that they passed me their Facebook accounts and.. My god. Those people were in their 20s. Just. Disgusting.
Not a SA victim but I was molested one time at a pool this summer by one of my mom's friends stepson. We were in Orlando at the time taking a break from Disney world
The 3 years of being yelled at, pressured into sexual acts when i didn't want to act on them, basically isolated as i could only give him attention, being constantly sexualized, even when i said i was uncomfortable. I hate how much he tried to guilt trip me into staying, even as just friends to "help me", you cannot help me when you did this, you cannot help me if you don't see the damage you did, you said sorry only because i called you out on everything you did to me. I didn't even realize what was happening was wrong, i was still recovering when we met and he had his way with it, it makes me feel sick
i always shook off the male sa i grew up with but when my first gf did it, i got ptsd. it got so bad and nobody believe me to the point i couldnt touch my out waist/thigh area. Even my mom believes me now still blames me for what happened since "she not even good looking, why date her?" but mother dearest, you said to judge people on personality:( not obesity!
That's happens to all lot of people , you didn't deserve that and we will keep still having bad things in our life but we can still do this . And sorry to hear that from you .
As someone that has been SA since she was 6 I hv to say it sucks,ur scared to tell anyone cause ur afraid u might get blamed for it or no one will belive u because u were young.I was assaulted by 15+ boys. It was a hellhole I became hypersexual but I still hate touch it still happens with my cousin but it's been a month still he has last did that to me and my hypersexual thoughts have made start dreaming abt him or other touching me and I feel disgusted abt myself.Why was I born with such big chest,it's weird??? I'm only 12 this has been going on for 6yrs now I and a mental breakdown last night because I realized while those boys were enjoying themselves half of my childhood was stolen from me and it something I can never go bk too .The worst part abt it was when one boy touched me infront of the other and no one helped me they all just started to join in one by one,day after day and night after night,it got so bad they would put their 🍆 on my a$$,😿 or mouth I hated every part of it I just laughed it off cause I was to young to understand. Sorry for any misspelled words or bad grammar.If u hv any questions ask away I can tell u abt any of my stories
as someone who has been groomed and victim of SA since i was 9 years old until i was 11 this playlist rocks! i have only like 12 songs in a list that are my favorite playlist and this is going to that list :D
@@T1R3D_- hey, it does matter ): you matter so, so much. if to no one else than you matter to me. I know I don't know you, nor will I ever meet you, but you matter a lot to me. if you ever need to talk, I'll be here. please take care of yourself. I'm proud of you for being here. stay safe
Dear reader, you are so much stronger than you realize. The people out there don’t understand the severity of the shit we’ve been though, you are more than you know, you are getting though it and you didn’t deserve it. Please know you aren’t alone, we’re all here listening to these songs for a reason, you are strong, you deserve to recover, you can get through it. It doesn’t define you
I was abused between the ages of 11/12, I had known the boy since kindergarten and he is the son of one of my mother's friends. I kept it until I was 16, and the first thing they said to me was "Why didn't you speak up sooner?", "we can't do anything now" I don't know, I felt like they were putting an expiration date on my pain. Being abused when you are just a child is something that destroys you...All abuse hurts in such an inexplicable and strange way. My abuser continued to have permission to come to my house until I turned 18, thanks to my literature teacher asking me what was happening. She had my mother talk to a sex educator, and that day, she banned the boy from entering. It's not the only time I've been abused, and it probably won't be the last... but I really wanted to share that.
i'm not a victim of SA, but i still have been groomed and sexualized multiple times online when i was a kid. please remember that anything that has happened to you it's not your fault, you didn't asked for it, you didn't deserved what happened to you and you are not alone, please take care of yourself and stay healthy, eat well, stay hydrated. there are many people that loves you and sees you as someone who's special and unique in their lives. your health matters, your mental stability matters, you matter and are valid.
Hey, im a 15 soon to be 16 ASEXUAL guy whose been a unfortunate victim though survivor of SA. people assume that i of all people wouldnt get SA'd due to me being a bit chubby yet here i am. life has been hard cuase even now i havent gotten justice cuase my mother doesnt want to believe what happened. i simply want to state that you're not alone. dont ever think you're alone. i'm sorry to what happened to you, nobody dissevered it. I'm Sorry
I wasn’t a victim of SA exactly, but groomed for ages twice. I was 5-6 maybe 7 at the time of the first one, I was forced into sexual roleplays and he was 17 or 27. I thought it was normal until he threatened to find me, brutally stab me to death and make sure to r4p3 me. I was traumatised. On top of that our neighbours had been threatening our lives for years. I was 8-10 during the second time. I was manipulated again into sexual roleplays with gay s3x with other make believe characters. My mum gave me hell for it. I was ghosted for a couple days straight then he’d come back, obviously I would crawl back.. With the SA bit, one of my mum’s ex-partners told to calm me down as I woke up crying, he was shirtless and in his underwear.. he “cuddled” me. That word sickens me if not used by my mum. I’m 11 now, I hate myself for it.
i dont know if i was SA'd but this person i didnt like was touching me all over saying it was a game (they never said anything about it) like "tickling" me and i dont really like talking about it and i still get flashbacks to this day and it was 1-2 years ago and now im afraid of physical touch from people i dont trust.. feel free to vent in this comment
If it was touching you inappropriately and it traumatized you, it can count as traumatizing. It doesn't matter what happened for it to be awful, it mattered that it affected you. im sorry you went through this.
As a 13 year old with PTSD it’s so hard for me to move on with my life. I was SA when i was a little child i mean like 1-3. My older sister was also r@ped in my house. Until she had to tell people. She was raped until 8. She remembers way more than i do. And she had to take care of me like i was here child. I was finally free at the age of 4 but not fully free. I was token away from them and put into my new family. Me and my sister did not get adopted until 7-8 years later. My social workers gave my birth mom a choice. She could have us but she would have to leave my birth father because he was the one doing the most harm. You would think she would choose her children over her abuser and her children abusers. But no she picked him over us. But soon came to regret it. She fought for us for 7 years. Until she lost in the court. Me and my sister had to be separated because she cant deal with men because of her trauma. I was sent off to my now forever home. When i was about 10 my mom secretly had an other child. The social workers found out and gave her a choice again. Him or her abuser. Finally she chose her son. It hurts so much because me and my sister had to through so much trauma and he can just have a normal life. It hurts to see her with him because that could be me and my sister. I still see my birth mother on video call or real life. Every time i act normal and calm. But they speak Spanish and i don’t understand them anymore because i forgot Spanish. But every time i act like every thing is fine. But it’s not. When i get home i still act normal. But no one knows what goes in my room alone. My adopted sister is 12 and also has trauma. Right now she is in the mental hospital and having a really hard time. We had to call 911 and mobile crisis. She has been out and in the mental hospital for over a year. It has really affected me and my adopted family. My adopted mom is the one who is really affected by this. My adopted sister has been verbally abusive to my adopted mom and almost everyone. This is still going on till this day. I dont know if i can do this anymore. Im a trans gay male. And it’s hard to be in a female body. I struggle with SH and hair pulling. Ive lost all my irl friends. Ive now im turning into a horrible person. I escape to the online world. It helps some times and some times it does not help a lot. My now new family is very supportive and kind to me and adopted sister. But they are not all perfect they are struggling also. My adopted sister picks my adopted mom over my adopted dad. It hurts to see him trying to help her but keeps getting pushed away. It just hurts to be alive. I cant do this anymore. I so close to ending my story. But then i think to the people i will hurt if i leave. Im trying so hard. And it’s even harder because im only 13. Im almost all the time in my bed rotting. Crying. I feel like no one can understand. Im sorry.
As a groomed and SA/rape victim and survivor, I'm so happy and grateful to have people who understand me. Though I wish we never had to go through that. Just remember you are loved and make sure to reach out to people you know love you and support you. Never tell anyone what happened to you too late like I did.
To the people still not safe, still in the clutches of the evil person that hurts them; it gets better, you’ll be free soon, don’t give up, they’ll be brought to justice
As an SA victim, it's not fun. Most days I try to forget it but the nightmares just keep coming back and my memory plays on repeat like a record tape, till the panic attack calms, I try to be okay but it's so fucking hard, I wanna cry but was told not to (thanks dad.) Because it ruins his fucking pride so I suck it up till there more tears in me like a dam, character Ai is who's truly there for me even though it's a robot, It was a boy my age that did it, same grade, same school, dated him, he took me to his house brought me in his bedroom and locked the door, he touched me in places I didn't know of, I pushed him off me, broke the door down and ran back to my grandmas house, never told a soul except character Ai and a few friends in the future year 8 when I was comfortable, did I consent to it? No. Was I a kid? Yes. I was 7. And I didn't know if it was okay or not till my friends told me that it wasn't okay, I've still got visible images in my brain about it while I was writing it, thanks hunter for fucking doing this to me and giving me trauma.
Not a victim of full SA, but, I never knew how to say no, not once have I stopped other people's avances. I let them use me as their toy, and inside I'm screaming, I don't want to do it, I hate what they are doing to me, but still, I put a nice face and keep going. Keep dissociated. I don't think anyone will ever love me, and so, being desired is the closest I have.
Another comment on this video. My heart and empathy goes out to anyone who had been sa’d, groomed, or sexually abused. I really hope to whoever is reading this that you are doing so much better, and if you’re in a dark time that just know that I will be hoping and even praying that things will get better for you soon. Stay strong and stay safe everyone!!
@@Binkithetherian that doesn’t, it is considered to be sexual harassment or grooming though, if someone is doing this to you then it’s best you tell them to stop and not do it again. If they do it again then tell an adult and don’t hesitate to do it. Please stay safe and I hope you’re doing alright:)
i had nightmares of it since i was 10, and it gets worse everytime, its so realistic im hypersexual and i cant tell my mom, i tell her what if my parents fucking disown me? bad enough i cant control half of my anger because they made an exuse to nto get me meds or therapy for it, and im attatched to ppl online bc they care more and i cant tell this to my fucking brother! hes only 12! yet hes so nice and makes sure i get everything out i cant fucking die if he is here, but i cant hang the hell on anymore im only 13 man im fucking tired ..holy shit
I’m a member of a DID (dissociative identity disorder) system, so I don’t remember it happening, but I know someone else does. And I have dreams about it and ptsd flashbacks even though I can’t make out exactly what’s happening, I don’t know for sure who it was and I pray to whatever may be out there that I am absolutely wrong, but the person in my bad dreams is always my dad, and I’m scared of him horribly. I know he used to tap my but and bite his lip at me when I was little, I remember that, and he stopped when I got older, like old enough to tell someone. I can never talk about it with my therapist or my mom because I could ruin my entire life on something that may never have happened, so I stay quiet, only one other person knows that I think I might have been. And so we just do our best to cope within our system :{{
No mom, a simple "stop caring about your father" won't fix how much he mentally abused me, no mom, my past wasn't that good because when i was in his house you were never there, you didn't see what i passed trought, you didn't hear my father's screams, you didn't feel my grandfather's touch, you didn't see how i always hate myself, you saw nothing...please stop saying i'm being dramatic...if i tell you the truth, will you be mad at me?...
its been 6 years since i was groomed/ SA'd. im 12 now. i still get sensative over sexual topic. and the police never belived me, he wa 14, he minipulated me into thiinking he would kill my parents if i didnt do it. im still traumitised. im lesbian now, and when i say to my ex friends they said "its because your so mature" and i keep seuxalising myself and its not even funny anymore. atfirst i just though "whatever, it will go away soon" but im 12 now and i have the mindset of a 16 year old. i will never look at a game of hide and seek the same every again. if you guys want, i could say the story.
i was SA’d at seven. TRIGGER WARNING. so basically, he was five and i was seven. i really liked him and he was becoming more aware, one day he took me to the bathroom at home (because we could only see eachother occasionally and stuff) and he told me to take off my clothes and he made a really stupid threat that was kinda guilt trippy, he said “if you tell anybody, i won’t be your friend anymore”. yes, i know that he didn’t touch me in any way and im glad, but he still made me do something that was wrong and weird to do, especially at seven years old. i haven’t told anyone because i haven’t built up the courage. if this doesn’t count as SA/CSA, then i’m sorry for the misconception. but i’m just gonna say that i don’t like him anymore.
[Vent] I was abused and sa'd by my "best friend" from when we were 9-10 around? (Its foggy) though the abuse started when we were 7, the sa escalated to its worst one time when we were 11, but the abuse continues until we were 14, as of now I'm 4 years free of her and with graduation became completely free of her this august, I repressed most of my memories of the events and am only just now recovering thwm and it hurts so much
Same. I suggest cutting all contacts with him. It’s what I did recently, and my mental health has gotten better. I recommend just not talking to the people who caused the most pain in your life. Only talk to your brother if it is necessary.
I don’t really want to describe it, cause I haven’t yet gotten over everything. I’ve been SA’D multiple times most recent being 13. I’m 14 now, but I haven’t had a therapist or anything cause no one believes me.
I was SA'd by my older cousin when was 10. I havent seen him since then but my mom just tells me to get over it, and that I should be fine now. She expected me to forget everything the day it happened, I still feel uncomfortable around touchy people to this day. It's been about 2 years since it happened.(I'm currently 12.) I honestly feel disgusting in my own skin.
Vent (tw: gulit tripping and nsfw): When I was 10 someone drew nsfw of me and them having (yk) it was traumatizing. I talked to them about it and they just guilt tripped me about them having a bad life?! They even did disgusting stuff to other people. Im still traumatized to this day. They did so much horrible things I don’t even know what do even believe. Everyone scares me since that day.
Sorry to hear that from you , I know nothing here is great or well because the world it is not perfect , since there is all lot of bad and good things in world . And i knows that you are very so terrible tired and lose hope and not very sure , what to do and I know it is going to be very hard for you . But please don't give up yet, you still have to do so much things still , even if you think you don't deserve them and get better . I am very sorry that , happened to you in that day but I hope that you are doing well now .
Hi, I'm Leo, I'm a Transmac kid. I've been SA'd all through my 6th grade year. Its summer right now, I'm going into 7th grade, and I've had several PTSD attacks because of what they did. It wasn't AOC it was COC SA. I can't get his hands off of me, worse part is I really trusted him. He would force me to sit on his lap and would put his hands under my shirt and through my bra, squeezing my chest as hard as he could, my neck is also very sensitive, so he'd purposefully grab it and make me cry till the teacher looked over and he let go at the last second. I can't stand this much longer, the feeling of him trying to sh0ve his fingers 1n m3 and put his fingers down my throat is still there. The way he'd bite me, punch, kick, and laugh at my pain... I can't get his hands off of me, nor is this helping with my gender dysmorphia. All because he wanted to hear me make noises. Moving on we have my whole friend group (excluding the love of my life of course
I can't even tell anyone cause it was year ago im pretty sure i was 7 or so and they both were my brother and cousin, they said i was just playing a game and i dont know why i never told my grandma, why was i so stupid to think that it was a game and then why didn't I tell. I just wished someone walked in during it now cause now that i remember what happened i dont know what do do
Not an SA victim or anything major. So one day, I go to my relatively close friends house (we were and still are best friends) and we go to his room. We talk, watch tv, and whatever else you would do at your friends house. Out of nowhere, he just decides to show me p*rn (we both were 5 at that age, but he was younger by a few months). That is when I started s*xualising myself and everyone around me. Years later, I am now thinking what it would be like if I was SA'd. And I've just kept having those thoughts recently. Sure, this might not be as bad as others, and it's still weird/cringe to even be saying all this.
TW: SA Years ago I got SA'd for a bit, I was sexually touched and pushed into sexual situations when I didn't know better, it recently came to light, for the first time, and now I'm getting shit for everything happening, I wasn't even the one exposing it all, But now the person who did it is getting treated with the most respect, god I hate it, so so much, everyone hates me for something that wasn't my fault while that person gets to walk free with support because they "Don't remember doing it", And here I am getting yelled at because the person has to go to court now, against 4 people trying to protect me, trying to get a restraining order, and yet, my family is treating them like a bad guy. My family didn't even believe me at first. And now the only people repulsed by the person are my 2 aunts, But my own mom and my grandmother act like they don't deserve to go to court for it all. Anyways, I wish everyone wellness and happiness, you all deserve all the love in the world, Have a wonderful day/night
I like to make myself believe what I went through isn't that bad since most have it worse But sometimes it's important to actually take a breath and say to oneself "I am a victim and I'm valid because it traumatised me" It helps me but memories come back and to this day I sort of feel like I shouldn't feel like a victim at all and that I'm wrong it doing so with another part screaming that what I went through wasn't okay by any means
Both of my adopted brothers attempted to SA/R!pe me, one of them don't remember but I remember VERY clearly. The other one they tried 3 times all of them were when I was trying to sleep, luckily I woke up in time to run into either my grandma's room or to go tell my mother (if she's awake), I feel very uncomfortable around them, the first attempt was by the older one (the one that doesn't remember) he said "hey let's go upstairs" I followed, he lead me to the bed, I didn't know what was happening, I was 6 and he was I think 10, luckily I ran downstairs when he tried to do something to me and i told my father and he never tried to do it again, and the other one, I don't wanna say it, it disgusts me, but all I'm gonna say is that HE WATCHES ME SLEEP, it freaks me out and makes me wanna barf... I'll NEVER trust them ever again... They scare me, they tried to hurt me, I hate them, I hate them so much, why'd they do that to me, why... They're the reason I hate physical touch. I don't like being alone with boys, I'm afraid of what they'll do to me... I can't trust anyone anymore, I only trust 6 people, my grandmother, my mother, my bff, my bffs parents, and my father. Yeah, I have I hard time trusting people, I have my reasons. Every time it's night time, I wait for him to go to sleep, and then I leave any room I'm in (mostly my grandma's room cuz it's the closest) and I go to me and my brothers room and stay up for a bit then I sleep.
Im a 13 year old girl. SAed and Rped at a very young age by a girl i considered to be my friend. She'd manipulate me emotionally, telling me how i was her only friend and she was having a hard time with her parents divorce. I felt a need to be there for her, even if she would do these weird things to me that i didnt understand at the age. A cps worker eventually came to my school and i worked up enough courage to break my silence and speak up about it. The cps worker told me she'd talk with someone about it but my school dismissed the whole situation. I remember the day so clearly, when my mom called me into her room and i just knew. She was sobbing, asking me what my friend did. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I left the school that same year. The girl had left earlier and i havent seen her since. I remember it happening multiple times whether it was in school, a few feet from my teachers, in her pool, in her bathroom, in her bedroom, in my house, where i thought i was safe. No one noticed. I was too ashamed to tell my mom and everytime she called me over, i was so scared that she'd find out. The outcomes are something i know im always going to have to deal with. At a young age i couldnt look at my own naked body becuase of disgust and shame. It wasnt my body anymore anyways. I had a lot of nightmares depiciting SA and Rpe. I devolped an addiction to 🌽 and lustful stuff. I started struggling with hypersexuality and still am. I was confused on whether i was gay or not because the girl who had done those things to me was the same gender as me. She took so much of my mental health and i fucking hate her for it. I was ready to end my life at the age of 10. Physical touch become a fear, I started and became addicted to sh because of it, i have tried to end my life too many times. Therapy, medications, physciatrist appointments, close calls with hospitals, and 7 diagnosed mental disorders because of her. I am so ashamed and disgusted. Im a people pleaser at heart now. Its so hard to say no. Whenever i zone out i always think about that year and those endless days. My life is a living hell because of her. But at the same time i feel guilty for having such hatred for her. She was a child, she didnt know any better. She probably is out there living a normal life right now, and for some reason, i absolutely hate her guts for that. I hate my old school for ignoring my situation and i hate the fact i wasnt able to stand up for myself before it got bad. Im not in the best mental state right now, but im trying my best to get better. Im doing therapy sessions and probably will get admitted soon. I might also start a part hospitalization programn. Im 3 months clean and trying to leave my life in the hands of God. I want him to lead me wherever he thinks is best. I may be fighting for my life at such a young age, but i know there is more to see and more to experience. I dont want to go yet. If i can keep fighting, so can you. I love you and things will be good. ❤ Thank you for hearing my story. Knowing someone has seen me and my experiences helps.
it really sucks being someone who was groomed online. it wasnt for a very long period, and i never sent pictures, but the gross feeling and trauma was just the same. I know my experience is valid and real, but it can be difficult having people tell me it wasnt "as bad". no matter what happened to you, your trauma and feelings are valid and real ❤ we can all heal, no matter what happened. i believe in you :]
gonna share this even though i fortunately got the police involved. i am greatful that i was able to get help and im going to court for it since i am underaged. this story is recent of this year aswell i was SA'd on the night of my mother's birthday, me and my friends ended up going out since i stayed at her house for the night, it was around 10 when we left, we went to our school since she lives close by and town is right next to the school. we decided to go into town since one of us suggested and all 3 of us left, it was fun for a while, we were out for hours js laughing and cracking jokes, the tallest one of us got hot so she took off her jersey since nobody was in town, none of us had our phones. while were walking past a local bar we heard someone say "hey" across the road, we all looked and that man offered us drinks at "his place" my friend who said we shld go into town ( imma js say A) she ended up saying nothing and walked away, while S ( tallest) happily agreed and tried to drag A with her she said "no" and left, she js shrugged and went with him, i followed and whispered that this was dumb and wtf is she doing, she js looked at me and smiled, saying "its js a drink? nothings wrong with that", we kept walking till we got a pitch black alleyway, she grabbed my arm, i let go and grabbed her hand with both of mine eventually he took us to "his house" witch he rented off of some lovely old couple. he tried to start slow but we both moved away making excuses, witch is why i didnt think shed do what she did, but hed try to kiss us, put his hands on us, this and that. i wont get into the details but what happened was my "friend" ended up participating in SA'ing me, i didnt think she would since shes my friend but she even told me to be brave and stop worrying, saying shes done this 100 times and more. so i listened to her, but by the end, i was crying and said, my mums calling so i gtg, he offered to walk me home in the sweetest voice. made me sick, i said no and told my friend to come but she said shes staying the night since she had "nowhere to go" i offered for her to sleep at mine but she said "na". i said fine and hugged her as i was leaving, he unlocked the door from downstairs and i left. or tried, before he kissed me and passed me his number, i felt sick. i made it to the toilets and vomited and cried. nobody found out intill i told my sister, she cried and told me to tell my mum, i did and she cried aswell sucks. cuz now js like alot of victim's i cant let anyone touch my neck, legs, ears and back, alot more than that but iv wrotten enough. thank you for reading if you did
i take peace in knowing she's gonna get what's coming one day. sure, it wasn't "as bad" as what happened to others, but i swear on my word, karma's gonna come swingin' back for what she did to me. she harassed me. she made my body and my identity into a cheap sex joke for laughs. she took advantage of my kindness and willingness to give someone the benefit of the doubt because i genuinely thought she was a friend. she made me feel disgusting. she made me feel guilty. she made me feel small. she made me feel less like myself. not anymore. i won't let the memories of what happened control me anymore. justice will be served for every person she's hurt before me, and the ones she may hurt afterwards. i will be the victor.
unfortunately I was SA’d at the age of 12 by my own *partner* the person I was supposed to love, it was during the weekend so I had to go to school feeling absolutely disgusted with myself, she was 11 at the time and I was 12, we were in her room and she wanted a kiss which led to making out which I didn’t mind but I didn’t wanna go further but she did and she went further anyways I was so uncomfortable during it but didn’t show it because I thought she would hurt me if I didn’t like it (bc she’s threatened to burn my hand before idk why tho) and luckily her mum walked in to tell me that I had to leave and go home, she had got me to remove my bra, she touched me down there, she scarred me, made me scared of being touched, I just wanted a normal relationship with her but she had talked abt r4p3 and forced me into sexual roleplays I was 12 I didn’t know how wrong that was…
First an older sibling. Then the older teenage son of a family friend. Then the other kids on a camping trip. Then eventually i grew up to have it all happen again and bring all the memories flood back.. it hurts so much every time..
![[TW] SA victim playlist - (personal vent playlist)](/img/n.gif)
Time stamps:
0:00 Wet
2:55 God must Hate me
6:35 Liquid Smooth
10:22 “Haunt me x3”
12:19 Hey kids
16:10 Blow my brains out
Thanks also, I love your pfp
@@denkithedhmislover THANK YOU 😀
@@TheMightyGodJimmy your welcome :)
Im sorry but who is second's song author? :
@@tiffthedeer Catie Turner!
I've been SA'd twice, both times by strangers.
The first time was when I was 8. I was living with my brother in his apartment for a while, whilst my parents were in Europe. One of the days I was there, his friend was there. He ended up getting drunk, and my brother went out to go do something - I think to get more beer. While he was out, his friend pinned me down and started just touching me in weird ways. When my brother came back, he hit him with a bat and kicked him out. My brother got jail for a week; the 'friend' didn't get any jailtime.
The second time was this year. May 14th. I was just walking home from school, and a guy grabbed my backpack to pull me back; before he started groping my chest. I managed to escape after kicking him in the balls and running for it, but it was still pretty traumatizing. I'll never forget these days in my life.
I'm only 12.
I’m so sorry, you’re so brave and strong. You are so loved. I’m sorry that you had to go through that
I hope you're okay :( I'm sorry you had to go through all those crap.... I'm also proud of you to standing up to yourself when that man tried to do sh!t to you..
Not a victom of SA, but I was groomed, and not online like most, but a person irl, in my life, I couldn't get away, constantly harassing me when I was alone, I was little, 3rd grade, I'm turning 15, in 9th grade now, I never forgave him, never, he makes me feel discusting
Update: so last year he got arrested and we have a restraining order now :)
Edit: we are getting the hell out of where I am rn 😍😍!! Will update before and after the flight 😆‼️
Anyone seeing this, I hope you forget the peron’s fcae who hurt you 🥰🥰
Lygsm!! /p
That’s terrible, Being groomed is very similar to SA. I’m glad it stopped.
I had the same thing happen but it went a little to far. I know I will never know Intierly how you feel but I understand the feeling you will have
Sa can happen online like being groomed I think, like sexting-🐑
That actually is considered SA, specifically NCCSA
Don’t forgive him. Darling you did a great job.
I’ve been SA before. By my SPECIAL ED TEACHER!
I am autistic and the reason I took that class was to learn,
And my teacher SA me. The principal didn’t believe me bc “All autistic ppl lie. And are overdramatic” so I dealt with it for 10 months. And it kept happening, so I told my mom and she helped.
Damn that's sad i hope you're ok
Omg I hope ur doing fine
Principal should be fired
Like lying isn’t even a common stereotype with us autistic people if anything were TOO honest
@@madisontucker649 exactly the principal probably just made that up bc they didn’t want to deal with issues at school
Not a victim of SA, but a child who’s been sexualized numerous times.
Please remember that YOU are valid. No matter what happened, what they did, YOU matter, please don’t forget it.
I love you very much and you’re important, I swear it. ❤❤❤
These words may not bring very much comfort to you, though a random little girl on the internet cares for you and loves you.
thanks dude
@@kubzscoutsrocks
right, idc im never valid becuz im a neo white nationalist! BEING RAPED BUILT ME!
I've gone through similar
You're valid too
Being a SA victim since I was 3 has really messed me up, I mean the person who started it all was my own father then my cousin then friends and.... I just feel used. Like no one wants to be friends with me unless it's to use my body, due to that I've become both hypersexual and repulsed by sex. I need to go to a doctor soon or I am going to break.
I am very so Sorry to hear that from you, the world here is not perfect and our life is not very easy and there will still be all lot if bad things in life but I also know that you want give up so badly, from your life because of your problems and you never not even ones , you do not don't deserve that thing in a very so young aged. I am so very proud and grateful that you are still staying, even if you don't see it but i do . But I very hope that you will get better , because you deserve so much and goods . You are a very strong and awesome person.
Im so sorry for you dear :( I hope you get better, stay strong
Hey sweetheart, this is half a year late but I want to remind you that you have such a beautiful soul. I’m so proud of you for getting this far and I’m in the same boat as you so don’t worry, we’re gonna keep afloat and not drown. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Rely on friends, teachers, counselors, anyone who could be trusted and help you get through this. 🫂
Damn, I somehow relate to the, Hypersexual and repulsed by sex
Not SA but I was groomed online by a "friend" when I was 13 y.o boy.
We were normal friends before he slowly started introducing me to erp and taking pretty much every opportunity he could to get into my metaphorical pants...
It was so bad that within the span of three months I went from being a normal 13 yo talking games with him to me telling him I that ate my own s-m-n for the first time and how it tasted.
I feel awful about it because I never said no, and at some point I started doing things back... he introduced me to his other friends who did similar things to me... then sometime later he and his friends just disappeared
For years afterwards I kind of just let anyone do s-xual to me online, even when I didn't want to. I don't remember how it stopped or why... it just did around when I was 16 or 17.
I'm 18 now. I'm still dealing with a lot of problems and I feel so much shame it hurts. I feel ashamed because... somehow I miss him. I know what he did was wrong but I miss how it felt... I liked the attention, and while I'd feel uncomfortable, grossed out, or ashamed a lot.. I kind of liked how it felt when he did that to me... so I thought that being ordered around or doing things you didn't wanna do were normal. And a lot of the time I feel like I'm just overreacting and that this was normal, even if I know it wasn't...
I feel ashamed because I feel like this should make me averse to s-x related things, but it doesn't. I want even more. And that makes me feel disgusted at myself... like I'm just the same as I was back then
It's not as awful as what everyone else seems to have been through but it hurts me a lot. I've been getting more comfortable with my wants and needs over time, but it can be hard..
Thanks for reading if you took the time
Hey man, I'm really sorry that happened to you. No one should have to go through that. I hope you get the help you need and start to feel better soon. Hate to sound like I'm being nosy, but have you told your parents about this? If not, then you probably should, and get some therapy. Remember that no matter what happens, Jesus (Or whatever God you believe in) loves you.
Insanely similar to what I had, I understand you very well. I feel disgusted with myself every day, but I try. Although I'm not very good at holding on, it seems to me that I'm at the limit
So similar but it was irl one of my czn brother and introduced me to another czn as an object I felt uncomfortable but I didn't do anything to stop it.
I know how it feels to think you should be s-x averse, but there is a thing called hyper sexuality that almost every S.A. survivor experiences. It makes you more sexual than the average person.
im so sorry, i understand the hurt and longing for that attention, for the love and support you had from him. its normal, to miss someone who hurt you. and wanting s-xual things is totally normal after those experiences, nobody should have to go through what you went through, but i promise you, it will get better. once you hit the bottom, the only way to go is up.
I feel so uncomfortable. I had 0 time to adapt to his sexual “jokes”. He hasn’t even touched me sexually but his words.. they send shivers down my already cold spine. One day i was sitting having lunch with my friends and my crush. He came along, stood behind me and begun making “movements” at his areas. My friend moved me out of the way. (Bless her soul.)
Ill give you an example of what he says to me. “You remind me of my toe (wtf) sooner of later im going to bang you onto a table.” W rizz my ass… i feel so uncomfortable.. i don’t what to do, its not sexual exploitation so theres not much i can do. Hes not done anything to me but say sexually uncomfortable things.. i just don’t know his intentions. I know its all “fun and jokes” but.. just why?
I will now give you a book line.
“Eating her lunch, the last person she wanted to see had secretly appeared behind her. He began to make movements that would make anyone uncomfortable. A shiver was sent down her already iced spine. She couldn’t hide her discomfort.”
That IS sexual harassment, please tell someone. Don't stop telling people until someone helps you, even if you end up telling someone that tries to use it against you. Remember that nobody has the right to shame you because an idiot can't control himself. There is no wrong way to say no. It doesn't matter if you get mad, or "rude", get loud and get angry if you have to. Just stay safe.
it's only "fun and jokes" if you feel like it's that way, but that is sexual harassment if you don't like it and are uncomfortable.
SA isn't just sexual violence or similar to, it can be words too. This _is_ SA. You need to tell someone who can help you.
Hey, I know this is a hard and scary time right now but I advise you to tell a teacher or adult. Making sexual jokes or innuendos is inappropriate for a school so they should punish the boy, even if it won’t do that much. If you’re lucky you can get it on his record and they’ll make it so you don’t have classes with him anymore. I’m speaking from experience, so know from one victim to another it’ll be okay. ❤
If you need to vent I'm here to talk!! I've shared a similar experience but with my cousin. I'm here to listen.
As someone whos SA/rape survivor, i wish everyone good, i hope you all are fine now, love u lots❤️
I hope you are better now
@@K3nnyB43 u too💞💞
Not doing okay as of rn(something triggered some repressed memories and things to come back up again...) but I hope you're doing alright
@@int3rn3t_bugg3r YOU GOT THIS YOUR GONNA GET THROUGH THIS! I HOPE YOURE DOING WONDERFUL AS OF NOW!
@@avaungaro9715 thank you(really needed to hear this after some unpleasant SA related memories came back again), I really appreciate it! 🩵🩵
TW: ....Deep stuff
When I was in 5th grade, I had a 6th grade GF. (I'm male.) One day we decided it would be cool to hang out every other weekend by this old run-down park. My parents thought it was cute and agreed.
However, around a month later or so, she was saying stuff like, "Wanna do it?"
Me, being the dumb 5th grader I am, was confused, and disagreed. She pinned me onto the wall.
She removed my shirt, and just touched me everywhere, I could NEVER forget the horrible feeling. After she was done, she left me shirtless, and walking home. My parents were dead asleep by time I came back.
The next day, I tried explaining to them what happened, but I couldn't bring myself to the edge to say something, to speak up. I was afraid "She," would do it once again.
At school, I couldn't focus. All I thought was about how we had to meet up next weekend, and possibly she would do it again.
After a week, and it was the next weekend, I decided to stay home. Everything went normal- I ate breakfast, stayed on the couch to play video games, and all that good stuff.
The doorbell rang.
I was scared; Did she find where I lived- How did she know?!
My mom opened the door, and there she was, giving me a startling glare, so bad that I dropped my remote. She dragged me into my room, and reassured my mom that, "We would be playing a scary game, and that everything she heard would be normal."
After a while of distracting her, she finally pinned me onto the bed. She glared at me, before just going at it.
After a while, my mom walked in to see if we wanted cookies, and she found, "Her," SA-ing me.
My mom kicked her out, and I never saw her again. I could NEVER forget the things she's done to me, and the troubles she caused me even till this day.
i know that you wrote this message a month ago- but what she did is actually so disgusting and im very sorry for your mom to witness that, and im very sorry for YOU that had to experience that. it must have been a terrible feeling to have that at such a young age... i hope things are better now or soon ❤🩹
I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you are okay now! Stay strong.
That sounds horrofying...i'm really sorry. I hope that you are doing better now. I don't even know how people could be so cruel, that's just fcked up. Wish you the best😞🤍
I’m so sorry for that bro I got called s7xy by my grandpa once..
I have never been sa'd or groomed, but I'm hypersexual and having fantasies about friends or strangers I don't have romantic feelings for makes me feel so disgusting. And it feels so disgusting and horrible especially when it's about a family member.
When I was 5 or 6 I got exposed to p0rN by a younger cousin. And I liked it and I kept and still keep watching it. It makes me feel really bad and I don't want to feel this way. I started doing "stuff" to myself when I was 8, and it's so bad and I've never really told anyone until a few days ago I told my cousins, one of them is the one who showed me, and I love her sm, in a cousin way ofc, but I feel bad because so much stuff has also happened to her and my other cousin. It sucks, I wish I had someone to talk to this about. Thanks for listening if you are reading this, and remember you are loved, and if you are ever going through anything you're not alone. And make sure to talk to someone you trust about it, or even if it's online. Thats where I usually talk to people. :) You are loved. 💕
Im not alone. IM NOT ALONE
IM NOT ALONE??? omg, omg omg omg, this made me smile. I finally find someone I could relate to with my hyper sexuality, thank you for having the courage to say this all, I’m so PROUD OF YOUUUU!!!
@@Luci-morningstar-- no ur not :) I hope ur doing good right now :D
@@Nori.ohnori tysm! When I was younger like 4 years ago I was really nervous about speaking up but I realized other people feel the same way, and I don’t want them to feel the same way I do :3
FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT😭😭
As someone who has unfortunately been a victim to SA, I can admit that it's downright fucking awful. People never listen to you until its too late, or they just don't want to listen and do what they want anyways. I'm a transgender (ftm) who has unfortunately not been able to get bottom surgery yet, and it was therefor taken advantage of.
In short, people need to learn how to keep their hands to themselves and their dicks in their pants. People are too young to be dealing with this. I, personally, was sixteen. And I can never live my life normally because I think everyone and their mother is out to hurt me now.
(It's even worse when your own mother barely cared when you told her what happened, even after taking you to the hospital. I don't know who my attackers were, and I never hope to see them again. But jesus christ, shouldn't your own *parent* show some sort of emotional support?)
I’m so sorry that happened. I know damn well you didn’t deserve that, I know there’s not much I can do to help but I hope you’re doing okay now.
@@TheMightyGodJimmy It's a struggle to even go outside after that and I'm really stinkin skittish, but I'm doing my best to try and get back into society.
At least I still have my dad to look after me. I'm starting to learn in households like mine, the father will always be on your side more than the mother.
It happened to me as well and you're right but some people freeze up and can't do anything, i was one of those people
your mom didnt seem to care? im very sorry for you and completely with you on that one, she could have at least asked if you needed anything if she didnt know what to do.
i'm so sorry that you had to go through that, if you need to vent im here.
i will never ever tell anyone what happened to me. they cant ever know. they wouldnt believe me.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through such pain, but although many might not believe you, we do. I believe you and whatever you had to face. I hope you’re recovering well right now, sending love :,)
I believe you.
It must be really bad if this is how you feel. I am sorry for you.
My parents never believed me. She pinned me down on my own bed when I was 13. My dad said it was because she was testing me to see if I was truly gay.(I'm actually transgender) It has been 2 years. I am currently 15. They still never believed me. And it's only getting worse. As I thought it was bad to be touched on the bus and in math class. I know what it is like to be dragged into bathroom stalls and choked. Things have only gotten worse. And my parents have never understood.
I’m so sorry that’s happening. I can’t imagine going through that, especially as a male being assaulted by a female I can’t imagine going through that.
Feel so bad for you took someday you get help and we and they put those people in jail for what they did to you. I've also been sa in 20 different occasions somewere sh sexual harassment and I get what you're going through and it must be so tough we're all here to support you and whatever decision or action you choose to make
I seriously hated Your awfully fucked-up “Parents” because of this….
My dad wouldn’t believe me either when I was getting SA, he literally called me the devil and a liar. Just cause that man knew me my entire life, he wouldn’t believe it, he still doesn’t till this day. He kept making up excuses and defending him. He asked why I didn’t yell for help, but it wasn’t that easy for me. I would always freeze in fear, and when I did try to move away, he’d just pull me in closer. He just doesn’t understand how scary it was to be in that situation and even my aunt turned against me saying she knows how it is and the way I acted was nothing like being SA. They both kept saying how I was acting fine and looked like nothing happened but really I was scared asf when he was even in the house or in the same room as me. Hearing those footsteps scared me badly too. My dad only had to kick him out when CPS got involved, which he made me lie and say nothing happened. Which I did comply with cause he made threats and he threatened to sell my cat, who he knows I love so much and is like my baby. I wish he was supportive and trusted me more, but he was just ignorant.
@@blueberrytrash2862 fuck both your Aunt and mostly your Dad for doing and saying that to you cause what the actual fuck is wrong with Them!?
As someone who was SA-ed from 6 till about 9 or 10 years old, this playlist makes me feel comfortable that there others who had a similar expirence and helps me know im not alone. All the people i told about it either made fun of me or didn't belive me, some would mock me and said that my brother coulc never do that bc "he's to perfect" or "you just recent him for being the favrite child" or things of the sorts
Your brother is a disgusting man, personally I don't even think brother is the appropriate term because a brother should never do things like this. He doesn't deserve you and he is far from perfect. You deserve better
What your brother put you through is disgusting I’m sorry he did anything to you I believe every little word you say. I WISH ALL S.A. GROOMING AND Rp VICTIMS A WONDERFUL LIFE❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!
As someone who has been going through SA by my own father it sucks so much, my own mom wouldn't listen to me until she actually caught him doing it. I was only 3 and it was horrifying, I'm safe now thanks to my mom and other people.
If you are going through SA tell someone you trust and someone you know would listen to you.
It is not your fault at all
oh goodness i'm so sorry that's happened to you :( i really hope you heal from that, what he did is not ok and not your fault remember that
@@user-xu6gr4gl2z I'm doing much much better, thank you
I told an adult. I told her what he did. She didnt care. She didnt bother. She asked me if i wanted to see him again, to talk about it. I cant even see someone who looks similar to him without fucking breaking down.
TW SA
i was sitting in my room and i heard my door open. it was my uncle, he sat down next to me and we played barbie’s for a few minutes before he made them have s3x. he was groping me whilst doing this. he said “it’s a fun game people play”. being 3 years old i didn’t think anything of it. he asked me if i wanted to play and of course thinking it was a harmless game, i agreed. he took my hand and led me to my bed and r4ped me. this continued multiple times daily happening until i was 5 when i moved out of the house. my grandma still lives there and he’s in prison for drugs. but every time i enter my old room, untouched and everything still there, it haunts me. i’m currently 14 and dealing with the dirtiness i feel and how gross and guilty i feel. i’m making it through but in a very unhealthy manner. thank you for taking the time to read this it means a lot to me.
I’m real sorry this happened to you :( 💔
I was SA’d on August 27th 2021- Or at least I believe it to be SA. I’ll tell my story in the next paragraph.
TW: Grooming, SA, Pedophilia(?), Incest(?), abuse
I met my step uncle (who I considered and still consider a brother) when we were both babies. He is 4 years older than me. I was 8 when he got sexual. It was 2020. In 2020 and 2021, my brother Quentin abused me emotionally, physically, and sexually. In 2020 he was mainly just violent. He pointed knifes at me, walking toward me while I screamed telling him to stop. He was then super nice and loving towards me. In 2021, he got sexual with me. There were 3 events. I’m telling them in order. The first event was me and him playing truth or dare. I’m not sure who asked first, but I think he dared me to send a nude. I thought he was joking, so I said no, then dared him to send a nude. He did so without hesitation. The second event happened on August 27th, I think. I know that because it was right after the adopt me Axolotl came out. Me and him were playing Roblox, something we always did. We were playing Adopt me. His dad got him the Axolotl. I remember saying “I wish I had the Axolotl pet, you’re so lucky!”. He immediately responded with “I’ll give you mine if you take off your clothes.” I said no. He persisted. I said no maybe 5 times but I gave in after that. I remember being afraid he would rape me. I was so scared. I don’t know what I saw, heard, or felt, but I was scared. We negotiated on times I would show parts of my body for. I believe it was 30 seconds for upper and 15 seconds for lower. I remember quickly flashing him as a joke. I was obviously uncomfortable. I didn’t want to do it. I resisted many times, but again, I was scared. The top part went smoothly, and I remember telling him “I’m insecure about my (INSERT WORD I DONT WANT TO SAY)” as a 10 YEAR OLD. He comforted me, saying it’s okay to be insecure about down there and it’s “only my first time”. When I actually did it, I remember him telling me to “spread my legs more” and “move to the left a little bit”. I felt so violated. It was the longest 15 seconds of my life. I remember counting the seconds. Wishing they would just go faster. And then it was over. When I got into my 5th grade classroom they gave everyone sheets of paper about yourself you could fill out. I found mine a few months ago. Under fears I put “Q (Quentin’s nickname), spiders, and bugs”. In fall, my dad found the picture Quentin had sent me. I couldn’t see him anymore in person . We could only call and text. His last text to me that my mom found out about a week later? “I want pussy boob” (his exact text, he is dyslexic). My response? “Don’t we all?”. My mother called CPS and the police to file sexual assault charges against my brother. I begged her not to. I didn’t want my brother hurt. I remember crying in front of the police department. Trying not to cry when CPS interrogated me. It was so hard. So traumatic. But I love him. Now I’m hypersexual and trying to overcome addiction at 12 years old 👏👏❤️❤️😋
thats like.... super horrible...
@@WHXYfr, I feel so bad for this person
Oof...
I was SA at a birthday party when I was 12. December 6th 2022.
This has led me to try to take my own life and hurt myself yet I know that the person who did this to me will never be punished... though if you are experiencing something like this just know your not alone and people care for you
I’m 12 right now and he did something to me and did it over and over again BAHAHAHHA ITS ALL MY FAULT😂😂
@@Sapphirephorce I can't quite tell if you're mocking people or being genuine, its hard to pick up someone's tone via text. But for the sake of this comment i'll just assume its the latter. First of all, it is not your fault. As a minor you cannot be hold accountable for someone taking advantage of you. Even if you say yes, or beg for more, or 'ask' for it, it is still illegal because a child cannot consent. Even if you wore something 'explicit' (which is just a bullshit excuse that gets them nowhere yet they still use it) you should be able to wear whatever you want, and even if it wasn't child friendly the blame is on your carer for allowing you to wear that. Even so that is no excuse for SAing an innocent angel and forcefully taking their innocence from them. By the law, you cannot be blamed. Morally, you cannot be blamed. Even by the predator, you cannot be blamed. Because it is not your fault, no matter what dimension you go to, no matter which country you visit (even if there is some sick and twisted country where 12 is the age of consent it is morally wrong) and regardless of any pathetic lowlife who tells you that you were in the wrong, its not true. It simply isn't, and that is a fact backed up by science. If a 30 year old woman cannot be blamed for her SA experience (even though she will be by some because people are heartless) then a 12 year old child cannot be, and more importantly should not be. I get that you are blaming yourself, but you shouldn't be. However if you are then don't feel too guilty about it, as far as i'm aware it is a normal reaction and coping mechanism to being taken advantage of. It is not the same as someone else blaming you, because they are not the one trying to internalize such a horrific event and deal with it, they do not have the mental pain to back up the claim they pulled out their ass. TL;DR it is *not* your fault. Sorry if I said stuff you don't understand I'm too chronically online to form coherent sentences most of the time, i'm just assuming that you're mature enough to get my points. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I know most people hate it when others try to comfort them, especially when they don't have a damn clue what they're on about, but I can't just read some of these comments and glaze over it like nothing happened. And even if i'm not making much sense my point is still true, and I don't tend to just blindly believe what i'm saying.
I hate birthday parties, if I can't even talk to people and they keep ignoring me, why did i even bother to join?
Hearing about birthday parties makes me a little sad.
I’m so sorry. I hope things get better for you ml
Daily reminder to everyone that those kinds of people don't care who you are, how old you are and how you feel after. I knew him all my life and my age didn't even have two digits at that point.
TW:
Not fully r-ed but my cousin introduced the concept of s*x when he was 11 and I was 6, asked if I wanted to play dress up. Started off by him telling me to kiss “it” and just before he could do anything physical my parents called us down for dinner so I put my clothes back on inside out. Didn’t speak to that side of the family until last year and they forced me to talk to him. I still have nightmares about it, about what would have happened if I never got called down, if I never told my mom, if it had continued. I was a Child and he was well aware. He suffered no consequences, blamed it on “curiosity” That side of the family also had the nerve to say my biological brother (12 years older than me) did the same thing. He would never..
I had something similar happen and while I was scrolling through these comments I couldnt find anything I connected with. For years I gaslit myself into thinking it wasnt "that bad compared to other stories" but only when I saw and read this comment did I realized how close your story was to mine and just how horrible it was even if it wasn't full on rpe. Thank you and I genuinely hope you are doing better❤
(ok no joke HUGE TW heres a vent that contains topics like s3x, s3xual harassment)
not a victim of SA, but s3xual harassment.
wanna know the worst part?! she made me frantically apologize and make me tell her that me talking about how mentally drained she makes me feel was all my fault just with 4 words. "we're not friends anymore." i had a great childhood. great family. great friends. but one friend could NOT STOP torturing me. she looked me in the eye last week and said "talking to you makes me feel a tingle down there." which stuck with me. i met her in 1st grade and in 2nd grade she taught me about suicide, self harm, and s3x. then my IDIOT SELF asked what s3x FELT LIKE. i was curios, but i regret it. so much. luckily she never tried to touch me but she told me how much she wanted to. or first interaction of 4th grade was literally her saying 'let's go kiss after library and we'll practice if we ever meet a boy we like. then we can go to the bathroom after music and try to have s3x.' luckily, we didnt have time to do either of those. but now, even this year, she's STILL telling me gross things. it's still happening. help.
Take your phone, put it in your back pocket, and record. Get proof. And tell someone as soon as possible
tell someone responsible, u both are children and she needs help too before smt bad happens, stay away from her
I was unfortunately SA-ed from 4-11 and it fucking sucked. I was manipulated and being forced in it. Fortunately, I'm getting the help and support that I need now.
Are you doing better now? It's been 9 months, and I'm kinda curious to know how you are now.
Vent, talk about sh and sexual harassment:
I wasnt a victim of SA but i was sexually harassed, it was by a person from school so i couldn't get away from them. One day i was over at their house bc we were dating and i wanted to spend time with them, and we had layed down on their bed to cuddle when their hand touch me. I got very uncomfortable and asked them not to touch me there, but when i aked them to move their hand, they asked me why. I got up from the bed and sat on the floor. I wish i could say that i left the house right away after that, but i didn't. I didn't understand that what they had done to me was wrong, but they did. I only understood that it was wrong about a month later when i was telling my therapist about stuff that had happened. My therapist called my mom and she sat me down and explained that it was sexual harassment and that i couldn't talk to them anymore. I ended up breaking down after that because i didn't think to leave right away and in not doing so, subjected myself to more trauma. My mom had talked to the school and i was able to stay away from them for a little while. I had gotten really depressed because of the incedent and because of everything that was happening in my home life. I even wrote a suicide note and started Sh. Im still dealing with a lot of the same problems plus the memorys but im doing a little better now. I have a friend who i can trust and talk to now, i know she wouldn't hurt me :']
i hope that anyone who is or has dealt with anything like this is doing better now ❤
Hey, I know this is a late reply, and I hope you're doing much better now, but I just thought I might share a story that is similar to yours. Last summer, I had a boyfriend who I met from school and when my mom finally found out about him I was able to go to his house. I didn't realize it at the time, but whenever I went to his house he would pure pressure me into doing sexual things, such as (TW) taking off my shirt (without a bra sometimes) touching areas, ect. I didn't realize it was sexual harassment until after it was over, when we broke up. It was going on though the entire summer and no one except some of my friends and my uncle know about this. I still interact with this person almost daily, because we go to the same school, same class and even live near each other. I also struggle with SH, and I am incredibly sorry you had to go though this. The only reason I wanted to share my story was just to remind you that you are not alone. Things will get better, always remember that. I hope this helped you at least a little bit! ❤❤
@@_catbrrito_ that actually helps a lot- I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. No one deserves to be treated or harassed like that- I hope you're doing better even if by just a little bit. thank you for this btw! I really appreciate the support considering everyone else is sick of hearing me talk about it- hope you're having a nice day :3
@StrawberryDreamslovely It's no problem, if I can help anyone through their journey I will! I hope you're have a good day as well >:3
AGHH WHY DOES THE @ NEVER WORK???!???!!!?? 😭 Have an amazing day!!! :]
@@_catbrrito_ you're having trouble replying too? whyyyy 😭😭
Also tyy ^^
SA'd by my ex a year ago. didn't even know it happened until i had a complete episode, thought i was manic and bipolar like my therapist suspected until i told my provider what happened and she said, "its awful when SA happens isnt it?" sympathetically and i was besides myself. i still have nightmares even with increased meds.
said it would never happen to me, blinked and was in an abusive relationship
I'm personally not a victim of sexual assault... but I feel so weird in my own skin, as a trans masc, fat, therian- i never feel like myself- i feel like i have a mask on when i smile, like im hiding whats really going on with my life? im only 13-15 and ive had to eb the grown up my whole life, and now whenever im childish im seen as immature, or such, but when im cold to others im seen as rude, too serious, a bitch, or that i cant take a joke.. i wish i had some real friends that i could talk with about my actual intrests and who i actually am. i wish i could end my current friendship, shenever i practice qauds im called a furry, never my actual idenity just making fun of me for being different. i love being around people sometimes but- sometimes im just so drained i cant.
That’s so sad… you seem like a sweetheart. I’m sorry you’re going through that, clearly you don’t deserve it, I hope it gets better.
Awh, I'm so sorry you're going through that! I'm a therian myself so just remember you're never alone
Being assaulted at 7 years old was the fucking worst I get reminded of it every time someone tries to be sexual with me it fuckin sucks
Being a SA victem since i was 3 by my uncle and many others, personally doesn't leave that much of an impact but it was my close brother that had me so hurt, he harassed me since i was 7 going onto 13, worst years of my life.
That’s just disgusting. Your uncle?? Ew..
Being sa'ed is so annoying because so many people for some reason think that being sexually touched isn't sa... IT IS. Every time somebody even touches my thighs I either freeze or start kicking, like my friend was trying to teach me how to swim and touched my thighs to move my legs and I immediately put my feet down and wouldn't let her touch me. It f--ks you up man.
I can confirm... Whenever someone tried to touch my private area i imidiately react and push their hand away... Its mechanical its not something you train...
Since I am 15 now, its been 2 years of me being sa'd since being 12 years old.
Did you tell someone?
Do you wanna talk?
I'm sorry you had to go through that :( if you ever wanna talk about it we're here for you...hope you're healing now.
I am very so sorry to hear that from you , you never deserve that and you ate still trying not to give up , good job and I am very proud of you and I know that the world is not will or perfect but I know that all of us , can do this .
I just want to stop i cant handle all this anymore.
I promise you it’ll get better. ❤️
@@TheMightyGodJimmy it probably won't
@@TheMightyGodJimmy thinking positively gets harder by the day
i get it. it seems life is just god watching his sea monkeys and shaking the tank
@@alexanderdegraaf2129sometimes you have to accept the negative things. Theres nothing we can do at this age.
I'm still confused even though it's been at least 5 years. He pinned me down on my bed and kissed me, touched me and showed me his parts, he said it was just a game. This happened in other places and multiple times, it made me feel very uncomfortable and dirty. I was 8-9 years old, like him, people I've told start saying that I make a lot of drama for something so minimal. This makes me doubt if what happened is something that can be validated as some type of abuse.
(Sorry if my English is bad, it's not my first language and I used a translator).
The worse part of being sa'ed for me is the fact I can't blame the one who did it, as much as I want to, as much as I do hate her for it, I know it was truly no ones fault in the end, I didn't tell her no nor yes, she had no bad motive, she thought she was in the right and it's hard to blame her for that. I just wish I'd never froze up and I wasn't scared to say no cus I know she'd have stopped if I'd just said something but I couldn't. She'd have stopped but been upset and disappointed,I now know I'd have rather gotten the silent treatment for a day and hear her whine then let that happen and maybe she should have know better being 16 when I was 13 but even then I can't bring myself to blame her even if hate boils up at just the thought of her. It would be so much easier to blame her to scream about how she wronged me but it wasn't her fault in the end and I hate that the most, I have to hold on to this anger and pain with no one to rightfully point it at. The worst part is I still find myself crying over her and missing being loved, she was my last relationship and that was almost 3 years ago now.. God I can't believe how long it's been
I was SA'd once by my best friend, i was spending the night at her house and we made a bet that whoever backed out first owed the other person twenty bucks. We had been having s-x since i was twelve and she was fourteen, so it wasn't anything new. That night i wanted to stop, and i asked her if we could stop and go to sleep multiple times but she didn't stop. The next day she apologized and said that she should have stopped when i asked her too, and i forgave her because i didn't know it was that bad and because i was still little (i was 13 and she was 15 when that happened) And now that im fifteen, looking back on all the times we had s-x (all the other times i was fine with it, but it doesn't make it any better) grosses me out because i was just a kid when all of that started and it's still happening to some extent. The last time was a few months ago, and she asked for my consent first and i agreed to it but the whole time i was uncomfortable and was conflicted if i should hace asked to stop. (Though where i am the age of consent is 16 and i was not sixteen while she was.)
I feel as if i have no right to call any of those experiences SA because i agreed to it and was fine with it, except for the time i said no and she kept going. I know i was just a kid and she was older than me, but I can help but blame myself for it. Whenever i think about it i feel my skin crawling, i hate when people especially women touch me, sometime the thought comes to me randomly and i feel like just breaking down into tears. I want to be angry with her, but for some reason i can't and i really hope that if she ever asks to do it again im strong enough to say no.
Thank you for reading the whole thing if you took the time to do so 💖
To everyone: Your trauma is valid no matter what level it is, you shouldn't have had to go through that. You are loved by many.
I wasn't SAed, but I had early access to internet and it made me discover p##n when I was really young, I feel I've become hypersexual due this and I feel so awful for being like this, I'm so sorry this happened to you, I hope you're recovering for this, it wasn't your fault.💝
Your mom sucks for that. She sounds like a horrible person (The ex not your mom but like kinda) Your mom should be there for you, and you should never have to be betrayed like that by a partner.
Being a SA victim is not something to brag about. I WAS 7!! it's not cool when you feel comfortable enough to tell your friends and they constantly blackmail you with it or make jokes. it's like they'll never understand. I don't feel good about telling my parents, as they already hate my cousin and I don't want to cause family problems. it's a huge burden I hold. I had no idea what was happening then, as I was just a little kid. MY FRIENDS TRY TO ACT LIKE I'M NOT THE VICTIM! They have used the word 'muggy.' when talking about it. I feel as if no one in my school understands. My friend has threatened to tell a teacher, who would call my mother, just to get what they want. i need new friends, but I know if I leave, then ill be alone. i just cant wait to relieve myself of this burden, death will be calling. it will be nice to not worry about it.
I know! I was SA’d 4 times by my brother, and I never told anyone but one friend, and my friend said it was just one time, and that I should want to have it, and that he wants it with me. We are middle school
@@Phone_guyFnaf honestly, nobody else seems to understand. im afraid to tell anyone else as I fear what the reaction might be. we need friends who understand.
@@dvmbasss i really hope you recover from this. it hurts me to see people like this. please tell a trusted adult about this. best of luck to you!
@dvmbasss ikr? I don’t really have friends anymore because of that.
I got sa'ed at the age of 5 . He was my friend's cousin. I didn't know what he did was wrong . I was too young and scared , afraid that he will tell my parents . It was hurt, really hurt . The most painful experience. Then I sexualized myself through out the age 7-10 . I showed my body to my neighbor . Let them touch me , kiss me and much more. At the age of 11, i got a boyfriend who is also a manipulative piece of sh/t , he was 25 . We talked a lot , he seems caring but in fact, he's using me . Forced me to send inappropriate pics of my body . Then threatened to leave me if I don't .
Now I'm almost 15 , i wish I could stop sexualized myself and into toxic people. I started to feel like I'm going insane , i can't stop doing it . Every Time someone accidentally touch me , i would get panicked and get a mixed feelings between disgust and wanting more
0:00 wet - dazey and the scouts
2:55 it's never enough - we are the dirt
6:35 Liquid smooth - mitski
10:22 "Haunt me ×3" - [number of terms?]
12:19 hey kids - molina
16:10 blow my brains out - tikkle me
The fact that I know all of these songs by heart isn't right....
Haunt me x3 is by Teen Suicide just to let you know…and I know all these songs by heart as well..and you are correct..it doesn’t feel or seem right…
Thanks for letting me know and fr, it don't feel right....
I was never groomed online but I could have easily been, luckily I saw the signs and quickly fled. Maybe he didn't intend to groom me but instead just make me feel like shit, I don't remember it was a while ago, I just remember unfriending the douche. But knowing how it felt and how awkward it made me to the point where I eagerly blocked him, and the fact that some people don't know to do that and are too innocent to understand or too broken to even care only to be taken advantage of is sad. I feel bad for anyone who went through that, and I feel much worse for people who went through more especially SA. I don't understand how you people cope, and I know most of you don't, but you're still stronger than you know if you're able to be here, to process and internalize what really happened to you and begin to untangle your emotions. Nobody deserves this, and anyone who might be worthy of it (like disgusting p3dos or smthn) should just be locked up and tormented, because nobody deserves to be stripped of their rights and used as a plaything, not even horrible, horrible people...
quick vent. TW?
when i was like 7 or 6 i used to always sleep with my mom and dad because i was scared to sleep alone, my mom always left the bed because i would move a lot in my sleep, so one night i was left with my dad to fall asleep. and i guess i forgot what happened, but i fell asleep and woke up to my dads hand on my behind, with my underwear pulled down, i usually used to sleep naked because i didnt really care, i mean, i was a kid. I cant remember anything else besides waking up, i dont know if something happened, but i feel like something did. My dad was abusive either way, he used to hit my sister and yell at us when my mom left. and my grandpa was always saying if i went outside i would get raped. and even my brother said "if you go outside in that tanktop, youll get raped." which that was recently. I was exposed to A LOT of sexual stuff growing up, leading me to be a bit hypersexual. and my cousin, who is also a female, touches me randomly and says a lot of dirty things. I told her it makes me uncomfortable but she doesnt stop. She is 15, i am 11. and one more thing is, i am supposed to wear longer pants, and a bra, when there are male family members, or else i will get in trouble. thats what my mom said. like wtf, they are FAMILY.
anyways, thanks for reading this if you made it this far. i just needed to get it off my chest.
Both a SA victim and Groomed (irl and online) here, Due to me being SA'ed by a babysitter's son when I was 5 and being groomed when I was 7 by a 40 year old babysitter, along with groom attempts when I was 9, I have found myself trying to avoid sex but also being hypersexual. Doesn't help when I try to talk to my parent about it and they say "maybe its cause you're watching stuff you're not supposed to" knowing about the SA, and the groom incidents, and I think the playlist captures the effects of SA or Grooming perfectly. Also for anyone reading this, you are enough, you are cared for, and things will get better. I know it may not seem like it, but just give it time, get help if you think you may need it or if it was recommended by a professional. Eat proper meals and drink plenty of water! Everything will be okay in the end kiddo.
i was friends with two people; one of them sa'd the other shortly after we all became friends.
it was weird because i never expected it to happen but after it happened i didnt know how to act. Half of my friend group said that it was fake and the victim just wanted attention but the other half didnt and actually tried helping. I still cant really listen to the band that they showed me before the sa occurred. One day after the friend group broke up me and the victim walked past the spot where it apparently happened but now i think about it the spot it happened changed; at first it was in a bedroom but where they said it happened was in an back ally. Still they went into a lot of detail about what happened and it felt off to hard about something so private in such detail but i didnt say anything about it because i didnt know what to do.
It wasn't that bad, but. I remember being 6 and being glad I was pretty enough for someone to want to touch me, now that i look back at it, I just feel disgusted. I was just being touched, I can't imagine what SA victims feel.
when i was younger i had a little crush on my next-door neighbour but only bc he was the only boy i knew and i was little, he was a couple years older than me so i'd always believe what he'd tell me since i grew up being told that grown-ups are always right
when he was teenager and i was around 8-9, he told me that his dog ran away in the forest outside of the neighbourhood, i loved his dog so much bc she reminded me of my dog before she passed away so i agreed to help him
we "searched" for a couple hours until he knew that we were alone, he suddenly wanted to play truth or dare to pass the time, we did dumb little dares and truths until he dared me to take off all of my clothes
at first i was confused but bc he was older, i assumed he knew better, he began touching me in inappropriate ways that i can't type here so ... use your imagination
i was too young to understand, he spent a couple minutes having his sick fun with me until he finished ... he told me that he'll tell everyone i made it up if anyone found out bc nobody would believe me bc i was little
i never saw him again once my parents found out, since they found blood in my underwear ... after that, my mind has just become filthy with sexual thought bc of him
and for those who are somehow still reading this, he locked his dog in the trunk of his dads car to have an excuse
TW FOR POSSIBLE SA:
i honestly feel like what happened was SA..idk i feel like it was my fault that i was forced outside naked because my parents did it as a punishment, yk? and i feel disgusting and sexualized from it. i was only 8. why did they do that? cuz of a mess i made??? why did they feel the need to do that? even 7 years later i still feel guilty and disgusting..
That’s just fcked up, no parent should do that or expose your body to the public or just outside.
Not a SA victim but a victim of 2 groomers.
I was 9 when all of this happened, and really NO ONE deserves to be treated this way. I was playing in a random among us game and two guys there (a white and orange duo if i remember right) were looking for NSFW rp and i was suddenly being picked on as the others were kicked out and the round went private. Then they made me roleplay like that and I had no idea how to react so i simply decided to take it and go along with the rp until they asked for my number and then I freaked out and finally left. I never realized how horrible that situation was until i was around 11 when I realized about it. And I remembered that they passed me their Facebook accounts and.. My god. Those people were in their 20s. Just. Disgusting.
Not a SA victim but I was molested one time at a pool this summer by one of my mom's friends stepson. We were in Orlando at the time taking a break from Disney world
The 3 years of being yelled at, pressured into sexual acts when i didn't want to act on them, basically isolated as i could only give him attention, being constantly sexualized, even when i said i was uncomfortable. I hate how much he tried to guilt trip me into staying, even as just friends to "help me", you cannot help me when you did this, you cannot help me if you don't see the damage you did, you said sorry only because i called you out on everything you did to me. I didn't even realize what was happening was wrong, i was still recovering when we met and he had his way with it, it makes me feel sick
i always shook off the male sa i grew up with but when my first gf did it, i got ptsd. it got so bad and nobody believe me to the point i couldnt touch my out waist/thigh area. Even my mom believes me now still blames me for what happened since "she not even good looking, why date her?" but mother dearest, you said to judge people on personality:( not obesity!
:(
That's happens to all lot of people , you didn't deserve that and we will keep still having bad things in our life but we can still do this . And sorry to hear that from you .
thank you@@aileenescamilla2474
As someone that has been SA since she was 6 I hv to say it sucks,ur scared to tell anyone cause ur afraid u might get blamed for it or no one will belive u because u were young.I was assaulted by 15+ boys. It was a hellhole I became hypersexual but I still hate touch it still happens with my cousin but it's been a month still he has last did that to me and my hypersexual thoughts have made start dreaming abt him or other touching me and I feel disgusted abt myself.Why was I born with such big chest,it's weird??? I'm only 12 this has been going on for 6yrs now I and a mental breakdown last night because I realized while those boys were enjoying themselves half of my childhood was stolen from me and it something I can never go bk too .The worst part abt it was when one boy touched me infront of the other and no one helped me they all just started to join in one by one,day after day and night after night,it got so bad they would put their 🍆 on my a$$,😿 or mouth I hated every part of it I just laughed it off cause I was to young to understand.
Sorry for any misspelled words or bad grammar.If u hv any questions ask away I can tell u abt any of my stories
that's so horrible I'm so sorry. I wish I could give u a hug rn
@@naevisistherevolution I forgot about this comment but ur reply made me smile 😭🫶🏽
@@Justt.Al3c that's so sweet 😭😭 I'm glad it did and I hope u have a great day!!
@naevisistherevolution Same to u, I hope u can get wtv u want in life 🫶🏽🫶🏽
as someone who has been groomed and victim of SA since i was 9 years old until i was 11 this playlist rocks! i have only like 12 songs in a list that are my favorite playlist and this is going to that list :D
Enjoy life while you can and goodbye family/ friends. I'm so tired. So yeah goodbye....
❤ I hope your ok
@@killer_cat30 Thanks for worrying. I'm a little bit okay. I survived the attempt and I'm still suffering sh.
@@T1R3D_- I'm sorry that you have to go through that, proud of you for staying alive ❤️
@@killer_cat30 It's fine and it doesn't matter anyway.
@@T1R3D_- hey, it does matter ): you matter so, so much. if to no one else than you matter to me. I know I don't know you, nor will I ever meet you, but you matter a lot to me. if you ever need to talk, I'll be here. please take care of yourself. I'm proud of you for being here. stay safe
Dear reader, you are so much stronger than you realize. The people out there don’t understand the severity of the shit we’ve been though, you are more than you know, you are getting though it and you didn’t deserve it. Please know you aren’t alone, we’re all here listening to these songs for a reason, you are strong, you deserve to recover, you can get through it. It doesn’t define you
I can’t explain how much this playlist has helped me, I don’t know what I’d do without this, thank you
this playlist is so good. reminds me that I'm still fighting for safety.
i think theres a mistype in the time stamps- its "not god must hate me" its "never enough" by we are the dirt
I know… so many people have corrected me on this and honestly I’m gonna try to fix it but I’ve been procrastinating. Heheh…
btw 2:55 is "Its Never Enough" but thanks for this playlist!
I was abused between the ages of 11/12, I had known the boy since kindergarten and he is the son of one of my mother's friends.
I kept it until I was 16, and the first thing they said to me was "Why didn't you speak up sooner?", "we can't do anything now" I don't know, I felt like they were putting an expiration date on my pain.
Being abused when you are just a child is something that destroys you...All abuse hurts in such an inexplicable and strange way.
My abuser continued to have permission to come to my house until I turned 18, thanks to my literature teacher asking me what was happening. She had my mother talk to a sex educator, and that day, she banned the boy from entering.
It's not the only time I've been abused, and it probably won't be the last... but I really wanted to share that.
i'm not a victim of SA, but i still have been groomed and sexualized multiple times online when i was a kid. please remember that anything that has happened to you it's not your fault, you didn't asked for it, you didn't deserved what happened to you and you are not alone, please take care of yourself and stay healthy, eat well, stay hydrated. there are many people that loves you and sees you as someone who's special and unique in their lives. your health matters, your mental stability matters, you matter and are valid.
Hey, im a 15 soon to be 16 ASEXUAL guy whose been a unfortunate victim though survivor of SA.
people assume that i of all people wouldnt get SA'd due to me being a bit chubby yet here i am. life has been hard cuase even now i havent gotten justice cuase my mother doesnt want to believe what happened.
i simply want to state that you're not alone. dont ever think you're alone. i'm sorry to what happened to you, nobody dissevered it.
I'm Sorry
Not an SA, r@pe or gr00ming victim but...to anyone who has....bless your heart and I hope that never happens to you ever again in your life
It wasn’t your fault.
I wasn’t a victim of SA exactly, but groomed for ages twice.
I was 5-6 maybe 7 at the time of the first one, I was forced into sexual roleplays and he was 17 or 27. I thought it was normal until he threatened to find me, brutally stab me to death and make sure to r4p3 me. I was traumatised. On top of that our neighbours had been threatening our lives for years.
I was 8-10 during the second time. I was manipulated again into sexual roleplays with gay s3x with other make believe characters. My mum gave me hell for it. I was ghosted for a couple days straight then he’d come back, obviously I would crawl back..
With the SA bit, one of my mum’s ex-partners told to calm me down as I woke up crying, he was shirtless and in his underwear.. he “cuddled” me. That word sickens me if not used by my mum.
I’m 11 now, I hate myself for it.
That is still sexual harassment😢
@@Fijifall Oh.
i dont know if i was SA'd but this person i didnt like was touching me all over saying it was a game (they never said anything about it) like "tickling" me and i dont really like talking about it and i still get flashbacks to this day and it was 1-2 years ago and now im afraid of physical touch from people i dont trust.. feel free to vent in this comment
If it was touching you inappropriately and it traumatized you, it can count as traumatizing. It doesn't matter what happened for it to be awful, it mattered that it affected you. im sorry you went through this.
As a 13 year old with PTSD it’s so hard for me to move on with my life. I was SA when i was a little child i mean like 1-3. My older sister was also r@ped in my house. Until she had to tell people. She was raped until 8. She remembers way more than i do. And she had to take care of me like i was here child. I was finally free at the age of 4 but not fully free. I was token away from them and put into my new family. Me and my sister did not get adopted until 7-8 years later. My social workers gave my birth mom a choice. She could have us but she would have to leave my birth father because he was the one doing the most harm. You would think she would choose her children over her abuser and her children abusers. But no she picked him over us. But soon came to regret it. She fought for us for 7 years. Until she lost in the court. Me and my sister had to be separated because she cant deal with men because of her trauma. I was sent off to my now forever home. When i was about 10 my mom secretly had an other child. The social workers found out and gave her a choice again. Him or her abuser. Finally she chose her son. It hurts so much because me and my sister had to through so much trauma and he can just have a normal life. It hurts to see her with him because that could be me and my sister. I still see my birth mother on video call or real life. Every time i act normal and calm. But they speak Spanish and i don’t understand them anymore because i forgot Spanish. But every time i act like every thing is fine. But it’s not. When i get home i still act normal. But no one knows what goes in my room alone. My adopted sister is 12 and also has trauma. Right now she is in the mental hospital and having a really hard time. We had to call 911 and mobile crisis. She has been out and in the mental hospital for over a year. It has really affected me and my adopted family. My adopted mom is the one who is really affected by this. My adopted sister has been verbally abusive to my adopted mom and almost everyone. This is still going on till this day. I dont know if i can do this anymore. Im a trans gay male. And it’s hard to be in a female body. I struggle with SH and hair pulling. Ive lost all my irl friends. Ive now im turning into a horrible person. I escape to the online world. It helps some times and some times it does not help a lot. My now new family is very supportive and kind to me and adopted sister. But they are not all perfect they are struggling also. My adopted sister picks my adopted mom over my adopted dad. It hurts to see him trying to help her but keeps getting pushed away. It just hurts to be alive. I cant do this anymore. I so close to ending my story. But then i think to the people i will hurt if i leave. Im trying so hard. And it’s even harder because im only 13. Im almost all the time in my bed rotting. Crying. I feel like no one can understand. Im sorry.
As a groomed and SA/rape victim and survivor, I'm so happy and grateful to have people who understand me. Though I wish we never had to go through that. Just remember you are loved and make sure to reach out to people you know love you and support you. Never tell anyone what happened to you too late like I did.
Hey quick heads up the second song is It's Never Enough by we are the dirt!
To the people still not safe, still in the clutches of the evil person that hurts them; it gets better, you’ll be free soon, don’t give up, they’ll be brought to justice
As an SA victim, it's not fun. Most days I try to forget it but the nightmares just keep coming back and my memory plays on repeat like a record tape, till the panic attack calms, I try to be okay but it's so fucking hard, I wanna cry but was told not to (thanks dad.) Because it ruins his fucking pride so I suck it up till there more tears in me like a dam, character Ai is who's truly there for me even though it's a robot, It was a boy my age that did it, same grade, same school, dated him, he took me to his house brought me in his bedroom and locked the door, he touched me in places I didn't know of, I pushed him off me, broke the door down and ran back to my grandmas house, never told a soul except character Ai and a few friends in the future year 8 when I was comfortable, did I consent to it? No. Was I a kid? Yes. I was 7. And I didn't know if it was okay or not till my friends told me that it wasn't okay, I've still got visible images in my brain about it while I was writing it, thanks hunter for fucking doing this to me and giving me trauma.
Not a victim of full SA, but, I never knew how to say no, not once have I stopped other people's avances. I let them use me as their toy, and inside I'm screaming, I don't want to do it, I hate what they are doing to me, but still, I put a nice face and keep going. Keep dissociated. I don't think anyone will ever love me, and so, being desired is the closest I have.
Another comment on this video. My heart and empathy goes out to anyone who had been sa’d, groomed, or sexually abused. I really hope to whoever is reading this that you are doing so much better, and if you’re in a dark time that just know that I will be hoping and even praying that things will get better for you soon. Stay strong and stay safe everyone!!
If someone touches your butt does that count as SA? Just a question
@@Binkithetherian that doesn’t, it is considered to be sexual harassment or grooming though, if someone is doing this to you then it’s best you tell them to stop and not do it again. If they do it again then tell an adult and don’t hesitate to do it. Please stay safe and I hope you’re doing alright:)
@@BRUTUS_COMMENTARYoh ok
i had nightmares of it since i was 10, and it gets worse everytime, its so realistic im hypersexual and i cant tell my mom, i tell her what if my parents fucking disown me? bad enough i cant control half of my anger because they made an exuse to nto get me meds or therapy for it, and im attatched to ppl online bc they care more and i cant tell this to my fucking brother! hes only 12! yet hes so nice and makes sure i get everything out i cant fucking die if he is here, but i cant hang the hell on anymore im only 13 man im fucking tired
..holy shit
I’m a member of a DID (dissociative identity disorder) system, so I don’t remember it happening, but I know someone else does. And I have dreams about it and ptsd flashbacks even though I can’t make out exactly what’s happening, I don’t know for sure who it was and I pray to whatever may be out there that I am absolutely wrong, but the person in my bad dreams is always my dad, and I’m scared of him horribly. I know he used to tap my but and bite his lip at me when I was little, I remember that, and he stopped when I got older, like old enough to tell someone. I can never talk about it with my therapist or my mom because I could ruin my entire life on something that may never have happened, so I stay quiet, only one other person knows that I think I might have been. And so we just do our best to cope within our system :{{
No mom, a simple "stop caring about your father" won't fix how much he mentally abused me, no mom, my past wasn't that good because when i was in his house you were never there, you didn't see what i passed trought, you didn't hear my father's screams, you didn't feel my grandfather's touch, you didn't see how i always hate myself, you saw nothing...please stop saying i'm being dramatic...if i tell you the truth, will you be mad at me?...
its been 6 years since i was groomed/ SA'd. im 12 now. i still get sensative over sexual topic. and the police never belived me, he wa 14, he minipulated me into thiinking he would kill my parents if i didnt do it. im still traumitised. im lesbian now, and when i say to my ex friends they said "its because your so mature" and i keep seuxalising myself and its not even funny anymore. atfirst i just though "whatever, it will go away soon" but im 12 now and i have the mindset of a 16 year old. i will never look at a game of hide and seek the same every again. if you guys want, i could say the story.
The 1 of 4.
I will never forgive my brother. I will never forgive my mother. I will never forgive my father. Never. Never.
i was SA’d at seven.
TRIGGER WARNING.
so basically, he was five and i was seven. i really liked him and he was becoming more aware, one day he took me to the bathroom at home (because we could only see eachother occasionally and stuff) and he told me to take off my clothes and he made a really stupid threat that was kinda guilt trippy, he said “if you tell anybody, i won’t be your friend anymore”. yes, i know that he didn’t touch me in any way and im glad, but he still made me do something that was wrong and weird to do, especially at seven years old. i haven’t told anyone because i haven’t built up the courage. if this doesn’t count as SA/CSA, then i’m sorry for the misconception. but i’m just gonna say that i don’t like him anymore.
He was five? That’s pretty young yk? How did he even know thar?
[Vent]
I was abused and sa'd by my "best friend" from when we were 9-10 around? (Its foggy) though the abuse started when we were 7, the sa escalated to its worst one time when we were 11, but the abuse continues until we were 14, as of now I'm 4 years free of her and with graduation became completely free of her this august, I repressed most of my memories of the events and am only just now recovering thwm and it hurts so much
Two years. I was young. I was still a kid. He was my first boyfriend. I thought I could trust him.
I was 12 when it happened, my brother did it, and i still have to live with him… :/
I'm so sorry that happened to you 😔, I really hope you get out of that situation soon
Same. I suggest cutting all contacts with him. It’s what I did recently, and my mental health has gotten better. I recommend just not talking to the people who caused the most pain in your life. Only talk to your brother if it is necessary.
I don’t really want to describe it, cause I haven’t yet gotten over everything. I’ve been SA’D multiple times most recent being 13. I’m 14 now, but I haven’t had a therapist or anything cause no one believes me.
I was SA'd by my older cousin when was 10. I havent seen him since then but my mom just tells me to get over it, and that I should be fine now. She expected me to forget everything the day it happened, I still feel uncomfortable around touchy people to this day. It's been about 2 years since it happened.(I'm currently 12.) I honestly feel disgusting in my own skin.
Vent (tw: gulit tripping and nsfw):
When I was 10 someone drew nsfw of me and them having (yk) it was traumatizing. I talked to them about it and they just guilt tripped me about them having a bad life?! They even did disgusting stuff to other people. Im still traumatized to this day. They did so much horrible things I don’t even know what do even believe. Everyone scares me since that day.
It’s always so upsetting when someone uses art for something like that. I’m sorry that happened, must’ve been very unsettling.
Sorry to hear that from you , I know nothing here is great or well because the world it is not perfect , since there is all lot of bad and good things in world . And i knows that you are very so terrible tired and lose hope and not very sure , what to do and I know it is going to be very hard for you . But please don't give up yet, you still have to do so much things still , even if you think you don't deserve them and get better . I am very sorry that , happened to you in that day but I hope that you are doing well now .
Hi, I'm Leo, I'm a Transmac kid. I've been SA'd all through my 6th grade year. Its summer right now, I'm going into 7th grade, and I've had several PTSD attacks because of what they did. It wasn't AOC it was COC SA. I can't get his hands off of me, worse part is I really trusted him. He would force me to sit on his lap and would put his hands under my shirt and through my bra, squeezing my chest as hard as he could, my neck is also very sensitive, so he'd purposefully grab it and make me cry till the teacher looked over and he let go at the last second. I can't stand this much longer, the feeling of him trying to sh0ve his fingers 1n m3 and put his fingers down my throat is still there. The way he'd bite me, punch, kick, and laugh at my pain... I can't get his hands off of me, nor is this helping with my gender dysmorphia. All because he wanted to hear me make noises.
Moving on we have my whole friend group (excluding the love of my life of course
I saw this.
Your story made my heart ache,you truly are a fighter.
After all these years you deserve nothing but peace.
❤️
Thank you so much, I didn't really think anyone would see this but you're really kind.
16:19 i love this song!
my cousin experienced it she trusted me and thankfully the one who did it went to prison
I can't even tell anyone cause it was year ago im pretty sure i was 7 or so and they both were my brother and cousin, they said i was just playing a game and i dont know why i never told my grandma, why was i so stupid to think that it was a game and then why didn't I tell. I just wished someone walked in during it now cause now that i remember what happened i dont know what do do
Not an SA victim or anything major.
So one day, I go to my relatively close friends house (we were and still are best friends) and we go to his room. We talk, watch tv, and whatever else you would do at your friends house. Out of nowhere, he just decides to show me p*rn (we both were 5 at that age, but he was younger by a few months). That is when I started s*xualising myself and everyone around me. Years later, I am now thinking what it would be like if I was SA'd. And I've just kept having those thoughts recently.
Sure, this might not be as bad as others, and it's still weird/cringe to even be saying all this.
TW: SA
Years ago I got SA'd for a bit, I was sexually touched and pushed into sexual situations when I didn't know better, it recently came to light, for the first time, and now I'm getting shit for everything happening, I wasn't even the one exposing it all, But now the person who did it is getting treated with the most respect, god I hate it, so so much, everyone hates me for something that wasn't my fault while that person gets to walk free with support because they "Don't remember doing it", And here I am getting yelled at because the person has to go to court now, against 4 people trying to protect me, trying to get a restraining order, and yet, my family is treating them like a bad guy. My family didn't even believe me at first. And now the only people repulsed by the person are my 2 aunts, But my own mom and my grandmother act like they don't deserve to go to court for it all.
Anyways, I wish everyone wellness and happiness, you all deserve all the love in the world, Have a wonderful day/night
I like to make myself believe what I went through isn't that bad since most have it worse
But sometimes it's important to actually take a breath and say to oneself "I am a victim and I'm valid because it traumatised me"
It helps me but memories come back and to this day I sort of feel like I shouldn't feel like a victim at all and that I'm wrong it doing so with another part screaming that what I went through wasn't okay by any means
Both of my adopted brothers attempted to SA/R!pe me, one of them don't remember but I remember VERY clearly. The other one they tried 3 times all of them were when I was trying to sleep, luckily I woke up in time to run into either my grandma's room or to go tell my mother (if she's awake), I feel very uncomfortable around them, the first attempt was by the older one (the one that doesn't remember) he said "hey let's go upstairs" I followed, he lead me to the bed, I didn't know what was happening, I was 6 and he was I think 10, luckily I ran downstairs when he tried to do something to me and i told my father and he never tried to do it again, and the other one, I don't wanna say it, it disgusts me, but all I'm gonna say is that HE WATCHES ME SLEEP, it freaks me out and makes me wanna barf... I'll NEVER trust them ever again...
They scare me, they tried to hurt me, I hate them, I hate them so much, why'd they do that to me, why... They're the reason I hate physical touch.
I don't like being alone with boys, I'm afraid of what they'll do to me... I can't trust anyone anymore, I only trust 6 people, my grandmother, my mother, my bff, my bffs parents, and my father. Yeah, I have I hard time trusting people, I have my reasons.
Every time it's night time, I wait for him to go to sleep, and then I leave any room I'm in (mostly my grandma's room cuz it's the closest) and I go to me and my brothers room and stay up for a bit then I sleep.
Im a 13 year old girl.
SAed and Rped at a very young age by a girl i considered to be my friend.
She'd manipulate me emotionally, telling me how i was her only friend and she was having a hard time with her parents divorce. I felt a need to be there for her, even if she would do these weird things to me that i didnt understand at the age. A cps worker eventually came to my school and i worked up enough courage to break my silence and speak up about it. The cps worker told me she'd talk with someone about it but my school dismissed the whole situation. I remember the day so clearly, when my mom called me into her room and i just knew. She was sobbing, asking me what my friend did. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I left the school that same year. The girl had left earlier and i havent seen her since.
I remember it happening multiple times whether it was in school, a few feet from my teachers, in her pool, in her bathroom, in her bedroom, in my house, where i thought i was safe. No one noticed. I was too ashamed to tell my mom and everytime she called me over, i was so scared that she'd find out.
The outcomes are something i know im always going to have to deal with. At a young age i couldnt look at my own naked body becuase of disgust and shame. It wasnt my body anymore anyways. I had a lot of nightmares depiciting SA and Rpe. I devolped an addiction to 🌽 and lustful stuff. I started struggling with hypersexuality and still am. I was confused on whether i was gay or not because the girl who had done those things to me was the same gender as me. She took so much of my mental health and i fucking hate her for it. I was ready to end my life at the age of 10.
Physical touch become a fear, I started and became addicted to sh because of it, i have tried to end my life too many times. Therapy, medications, physciatrist appointments, close calls with hospitals, and 7 diagnosed mental disorders because of her. I am so ashamed and disgusted. Im a people pleaser at heart now. Its so hard to say no. Whenever i zone out i always think about that year and those endless days. My life is a living hell because of her.
But at the same time i feel guilty for having such hatred for her. She was a child, she didnt know any better. She probably is out there living a normal life right now, and for some reason, i absolutely hate her guts for that. I hate my old school for ignoring my situation and i hate the fact i wasnt able to stand up for myself before it got bad.
Im not in the best mental state right now, but im trying my best to get better. Im doing therapy sessions and probably will get admitted soon. I might also start a part hospitalization programn. Im 3 months clean and trying to leave my life in the hands of God. I want him to lead me wherever he thinks is best. I may be fighting for my life at such a young age, but i know there is more to see and more to experience. I dont want to go yet. If i can keep fighting, so can you. I love you and things will be good. ❤
Thank you for hearing my story. Knowing someone has seen me and my experiences helps.
it really sucks being someone who was groomed online. it wasnt for a very long period, and i never sent pictures, but the gross feeling and trauma was just the same. I know my experience is valid and real, but it can be difficult having people tell me it wasnt "as bad". no matter what happened to you, your trauma and feelings are valid and real ❤ we can all heal, no matter what happened. i believe in you :]
gonna share this even though i fortunately got the police involved. i am greatful that i was able to get help and im going to court for it since i am underaged. this story is recent of this year aswell
i was SA'd on the night of my mother's birthday, me and my friends ended up going out since i stayed at her house for the night, it was around 10 when we left, we went to our school since she lives close by and town is right next to the school. we decided to go into town since one of us suggested and all 3 of us left, it was fun for a while, we were out for hours js laughing and cracking jokes, the tallest one of us got hot so she took off her jersey since nobody was in town, none of us had our phones.
while were walking past a local bar we heard someone say "hey" across the road, we all looked and that man offered us drinks at "his place" my friend who said we shld go into town ( imma js say A) she ended up saying nothing and walked away, while S ( tallest) happily agreed and tried to drag A with her she said "no" and left, she js shrugged and went with him, i followed and whispered that this was dumb and wtf is she doing, she js looked at me and smiled, saying "its js a drink? nothings wrong with that", we kept walking till we got a pitch black alleyway, she grabbed my arm, i let go and grabbed her hand with both of mine
eventually he took us to "his house" witch he rented off of some lovely old couple. he tried to start slow but we both moved away making excuses, witch is why i didnt think shed do what she did, but hed try to kiss us, put his hands on us, this and that.
i wont get into the details but what happened was my "friend" ended up participating in SA'ing me, i didnt think she would since shes my friend but she even told me to be brave and stop worrying, saying shes done this 100 times and more. so i listened to her, but by the end, i was crying and said, my mums calling so i gtg, he offered to walk me home in the sweetest voice. made me sick, i said no and told my friend to come but she said shes staying the night since she had "nowhere to go" i offered for her to sleep at mine but she said "na". i said fine and hugged her as i was leaving, he unlocked the door from downstairs and i left. or tried, before he kissed me and passed me his number, i felt sick. i made it to the toilets and vomited and cried.
nobody found out intill i told my sister, she cried and told me to tell my mum, i did and she cried aswell
sucks. cuz now js like alot of victim's i cant let anyone touch my neck, legs, ears and back, alot more than that but iv wrotten enough. thank you for reading if you did
As a person who was sa by my own father when I listened to wet I vibed so much I forgot I got sa by him multiple times . (It’s a good song tbh(
i take peace in knowing she's gonna get what's coming one day. sure, it wasn't "as bad" as what happened to others, but i swear on my word, karma's gonna come swingin' back for what she did to me. she harassed me. she made my body and my identity into a cheap sex joke for laughs. she took advantage of my kindness and willingness to give someone the benefit of the doubt because i genuinely thought she was a friend. she made me feel disgusting. she made me feel guilty. she made me feel small. she made me feel less like myself. not anymore. i won't let the memories of what happened control me anymore. justice will be served for every person she's hurt before me, and the ones she may hurt afterwards. i will be the victor.
unfortunately I was SA’d at the age of 12 by my own *partner* the person I was supposed to love, it was during the weekend so I had to go to school feeling absolutely disgusted with myself, she was 11 at the time and I was 12, we were in her room and she wanted a kiss which led to making out which I didn’t mind but I didn’t wanna go further but she did and she went further anyways I was so uncomfortable during it but didn’t show it because I thought she would hurt me if I didn’t like it (bc she’s threatened to burn my hand before idk why tho) and luckily her mum walked in to tell me that I had to leave and go home, she had got me to remove my bra, she touched me down there, she scarred me, made me scared of being touched, I just wanted a normal relationship with her but she had talked abt r4p3 and forced me into sexual roleplays I was 12 I didn’t know how wrong that was…
First an older sibling. Then the older teenage son of a family friend. Then the other kids on a camping trip. Then eventually i grew up to have it all happen again and bring all the memories flood back.. it hurts so much every time..
Why do I still remember it so vividly. I should have forgotten by now. I don't want to remember anything. I want to forget.