dealing with the past
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ส.ค. 2020
- i talk with navy veteran Mike while we look at the stars and stuff
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credit to CmdrCharlies for subtitling the video! say hi to him on twitch / cmdrcharlesonline
▼other videos with Mike▼
guy talks about selling dank at 13: • guy talks about sellin...
ex-navy talks about his dirty secret: • ex-navy talks about hi...
ex-navy talks about cutting out toxic family: • ex-navy talks about cu...
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Check out the plushie here! makeship.com/collections/featured/products/syrmor note: in the video i said 4 days but after i finished the vid they extended the time to get the plushie. If you enjoyed this talk with Mike I linked some of our other talks int the description!
Hey good video!
I luv u dad
A plushie campaign aye, I’ll vote Dawa for president
just ordered mine is there a way i can track the progress?
The way he explains panic attacks is too real. I suffered from them for 6 years till I got them in check! Best of luck to you man!
Thanks for all the love. Hope my stories are relatable and can help others in need. Edit: I asked my uncle to clarify the story about my grandpa. Basically, he fought for the king. Was captured by Mussolini’s forces. They held a gun to his head when he was 14 and was forced to fight with them or they would kill him. He was captured shortly after at monte casino.
I appreciate you! Thanks for sharing
Stay strong!
we love ya mike
I really appreciate hearing your perspective,glad you're in a better place now
ure kind of a good story teller! keep digging, sharing is caring! u tapped into some good conscious soup
This guy proves that sometimes you can break the chain of toxicity. His Grandpa was abusive his mom was abusive, I can tell he won't be like that to his kids and wife.
My mom was abused by my super shitty grandpa, but she was a dope ass mom. You can definitely break the cycle.
@@AxxLAfriku small pp
@@AxxLAfriku ?
@@AxxLAfriku k dude..😶
@@AxxLAfriku
Please don't miss your medicine doses. You've been to the psychiatrist for this same reason.
This guy is so level headed. I love him. I just wish his parents would've appreciated him on any level. It's so sad.
Those parents (especially the mom) didn’t deserve him they deserve a first class ticket down under and I don’t mean Australia.
Thank you. You guys appreciate my stories and it helps a lot. All need to help eachother.
He is one cool dude 😎
@@mike4088 I’m sorry that you have to go through that. Hope you’re doing alright!
@@mrpizzacat8273 Mike deserves a ticket down under. Yes, I mean Australia. What a fucking chiller. We'd be glad to have him.
my mom was in the army for eight years, she got in when i was eight and got out when i was sixteen. when she was deployed me and my sister were left alone with our dad. he was very abusive, but i got the most of it. i never let him hurt my little sister. she’s four years younger than me so i felt responsible for her when mom was gone. i’m glad my aunt finally pulled me out of that situation. if i hadn’t said anything, i wouldn’t be where i am today and i wouldn’t have found my loving boyfriend. my sister would’ve also been alone with my dad if i’d let it happen. now he’s in prison with six year sentence and five to twenty five years probation. when he gets out he’ll have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
im so sorry you had to deal with that. that's a lot of responsibitly especially for someone so young. hope you are doing better now
Syrmor i promise that anything after that is a breeze. i grew up very fast but it made me stronger. i don’t know who id be if that didn’t happen to me.
Holy dang you’re a badass for doing that!
Is he in prison because of abusing you?
Harlefsson yes
“‘your poor lifestyle is the reason for your mental health.’ meanwhile it could be their mental health that causes them to have a poor lifestyle”
BAM! There it is. Feels good to hear these words out loud from someone else.
I agree with both of these statements but having mental health issues doesnt excuse you being terrible to others. I understand some people need help but we all have our own burdens and they all weigh down on us differently. It's really hard having a poor lifestyle, but especially with mental health issues. I hope we all can make it through our ordeals. Physical mental or even spiritual.
@@BEERBOMB113 definitely not, and that’s not what i was trying to portray and i don’t believe that’s what the video was either. it’s just mental illness and lifestyle go hand in hand. sometimes i get so depressed i can’t go to work and it obviously results in me not being paid, which leads to me being more depressed because i don’t have money. it’s a cycle
@@taz5202 I know I'm sorry I feel like I may sound inconsiderate, and I didnt feel that you were portraying that way either obviously, idk i felt like I've known people who acted that they had to be a certain way because of their mental health or a trauma they may have experienced and I feel like that doesn't have to be the end of the story, like even though you or I may get depressed we found a way to pull through it. Doesnt mean you won't feel that way again or that you or me ever stopped being depressed. Lol idk, you know where I'm coming from. and I hope I dont come off as rude or insensitive. Shit I've missed so much school and lost jobs because of my depression. They gave me senioritis for senior superlative, and I feel like I got that for being absent trying to deal with my problems.
@@BEERBOMB113 that’s understandable! i’ve come across people that use their mental health as an excuse for their actions but i still believe that’s not right
7:02 I'm in the military right now (E-3) and I was literally saying to myself "Wow this guy really gets it." Then he hits me with that "Anyone E-4 and below will probably agree." and my mind was blown lol.
That’s just how it is for junior enlisted my guy.
You're a footstool if you're an NCO or below, basically.
LCpls are a Force to be reckoned with
I was also an E-3 who luckily got out early and this a quote from a captain i respeted. "In our base its all about competition, not comradarie"
Nothings is worst than being a junior enlisted while getting dumped on by other junior enlisted with authority over you.
Bro now that he explained his mental issues, I'm starting to acknowledge the fact that I had panic attacks since I was 9 because of my abusive mom and brother. I literally burst into tears when he talked about panic attacks because everything just makes sense now, all that everyday mocking and physical abuse really affected me and I haven't even thought about it until now. Even though my whole family still mentally abuses me I'm not as vulnerable as I was back then, but the fact that it affected me so much and changed my whole personality is what bother's me. I really hope people start realizing how their everyday actions and words can affect people, and reconsider their behavior
I completely agree, I can relate in a lot of ways. People that grow up in or don't know what a toxic situation is, have such a hard time becoming aware because they don't know any better. Knowledge is power, and only through people telling me something was wrong, and finally going to a therapist did I learn what was wrong. Now I finally have tools to deal with the things I go through mentally, it's a slow process but so worth it
I hope you’re doing better❤️
I don’t even know what to say, as soon as the ex-navy guy started talking about the mental health part it really connected with me and the same exact feelings/problems that I dealt with. I also kinda started crying and I rarely do bc I just feel like I’ve been depressed basically my whole life. I don’t know what to do, I’m literally just trying to make it everyday, but so many things bother me and I can barely communicate my issues with anyone. I should be able to talk to my parents and my younger brother about anything but we are all so distant in a way even if we’ve been under the same roof forever. I’ve been a little better ig but probably not, I feel like bitch compared to what the main narrator of the video went through in life compared to mine. I know I shouldn’t be but I feel like my life is and can be so much easier it’s just I’ve been in almost the same position for so long that I have no sense of direction in life. I know I’m only 19 turning 20 this year, but I need a job (since I’ve really never had one), I’ve skipped college now for a little over half a year, needa get on my grind bc all I do is layin bed all day mostly (but I have been going to the gym more consistently), and I just wanna be more happy. Just wanna know what to do, I could be thriving rn, but so much stress and hidden mental issues affected me right before graduating high school and now I’m lost.
I’ve had em since a kid too. Stabbing pain on either side of my chest and it’s hard to breathe.
Hearing Mike talk about the anxiety attacks hit really close to home. I've recently been waking up from sleeping with panic attacks as well, and it's somewhat reassuring to hear that I'm not alone in this. I hate the feeling of helplessness and knowing you can't control the wave of feeling your body and mind is experiencing. I haven't figured out how to stop these from happening to me, but I hope Mike has found some peace.
Buy yourself a nice big plushie to hold while you sleep. No joke, feels so good.
@@brainflash1 did syrmor send you
@@brainflash1 I always hug my pillow while sleeping
@@martiddy I know, right? ^_^
@@KuncanDastner *Pulls out Uno reverse card*
sometimes the only place you can find happiness is in your own memories
True i dont like doing that i just go back to the shitty past that i had
keyword sometimes :( lots of people have moments in their lives which theyd rather forget, so while that might be the case for one person, ur better off focusing on the present rather than worrying about the past or future
I agree although horrible thing that have happened in the past are stuff I'd like to forget but man do i wish to be in the past
Muffin damn that hits hard
And other times, deep, piercing pain...
The most relatable Syrmor video I have ever seen. My breathing got tight and my anxiety went up when he talked about duty days, deployments, not getting meds, but the biggest one was getting pushed out the door and had to be a human again. It is freeing to grow out a beard but all we knew was misery when you are low ranked e-4. My drinking got to the worst part of my life when I could not afford medications for mental health so I drank to quiet the voices. Being alone in a room not knowing what to do while using the MGIB to keep a roof over your head is just sad, take care Sailor.
@@haloboz I was an E-5 awarded to be the boss of the lower ranks, training PO, and Supply PO.. all I got was a BZ lol
From abuse to hustling music for meals in the navy. I salute this lad for staying strong though it all.
Let Mike know his stories have helped save people from joining the military, seriously. What he's had to say must have made that impact.
That hell is the only path for a better future for me.
@@rune0742 That's the wost thing about it. He probably couldn't have saved himself if he was a child today. A lot of people don't join the military because they want to, it's either risk your life for your country or starve and die. Politicians know that this is the reality.
@@gizmodobaggins7040 even after they come back it’s not a guarantee it’ll all pay off which is the tragic part of it.
@@rune0742 I was in the navy for 5 years. It’s some of the best and worst moments of my life. Just make sure you milk the military for all the benefits you can because believe me they will use and abuse you so do the same
@@freetime1734 This. With no where else to go in life, you can set yourself up pretty good for after
This dude’s family makes me realize just how greatful and happy i am to have amazing, caring, parents
Yea dude, you're lucky. Those of us with parents that are just not great are still better off than those with none at all. The system chews them up and spits them out.
Dude good family is a fucking massive blessing. I hate 3/4ths of my direct family basically lmao
Hug your parents
My teeth are a wreck because I’m often too depressed to get up and clean them properly. When you said some people blame you for your poor lifestyle, that clicked. Like I know I should take care of them but I just can’t find the strength or energy to do so. And disapproval and judgement from my dentist doesn’t make me want to go get them fixed. I’m with you bro.
Whenever I dont wanna do personal care shit, I just pretend like a ghost is taking over my body and forcing me to get clean. Always leaves me feeling a little invaded but at least my breath doesnt smell!
@Josue Cabrera there you go! 🤣🤣
astralb0y I’ll have to try that.
Josue Cabrera
Lol but you ARE sinning you dummy😂🤷🏼♀️
Nothing will change that. You can pretend all you want, but sin is sin, brother.
Stop pretending & just stop doing it!
You’re disappointing God each & every time you make the conscious decision to do that!
Just do better man🤗You CAN if you choose to!
@@jacks1bonnielass god wont know if he pretends it's a ghost doing it 👌
I've never heard someone describe panic attacks in a way that actually hit that close to home. I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember, but when I was 13-14 I started getting really bad panic attacks and they continued into high school. And at first I genuinely just thought I was going to die. Whenever I had them it felt like every thing was blurry, but if I focused on something I would hyperfocus on it, and my heart would beat out of my chest. Having them in class was a bit isolating because everyone was just going about their lives while my world was spinning. Thankfully I found a great therapist and I don't get them nearly as much.
I cant relate but I can sympathize, and I'm learning to appreciate people and their histories, whatever they may be.
Same
When I feel like the sky is falling I come here and get a real perspective on crazy real life shit.
"feels like I'm having a heart attack and I'm going to die." Yep that's pretty much a standard panic attack. It's awful. And it's really hard even after you identify it as a panic attack to shake the
'I'm going to die' feeling which is why they fucking suck.
Mike is such a cool dude. I feel so bad for him and all that he went through. I'm just glad that all of this is behind him, and I hope that he can reach new heights in the future.
On a little unconnected side note: I really like this vr room/map. It kind of reminds me of the train in Spirited Away. The fact it has a day and night cycle where you can see the galaxy is a very nice touch. You can watch little fishies swim over the tracks underneath a beautiful starry sky. If I ever get my hands on a vr headset or try it on desktop, I would love to visit it.
Man I didn’t think of that lol. Spirited away was awesome
That "waking up because I suddenly felt like I was falling" thing may be a hypnagogic jerk. I get that all the time. It's hell.
I love those
Lachlan Wilson you have fucking super powers
@@hardcheatingrust 😂I mean I dont like them in the moment but it gives me the same feeling in the chest as a rollercoaster which is what I like about it plus the fact that it feels as real as it does in the moment
@@lachlanwilson7869 It feels like youre falling in infinite darkness imagine if you somehow had a condition and wouldnt wake out of it, that sounds like hell.
For me I don't even get the feeling that I'm falling, it's just one second I'm falling asleep and the next second I've suddenly jerked myself awake
I have panic attracts like he does, in that state I feel adrenaline rush threw my body. Afterwards when I'm calm I still feel shaky like I've calm down but the adrenaline is still there
Me too. I get waves of rush. With each one my chest gets tighter and tighter. And when they stop I am left with my heart beating super fast, breathing out of control, i start to see pitch dark with my eyes wide open. Tingling from my pinky fingers all the way up my arms and face. After it goes away I feel peace, like I've never felt before.
@Smoked Bear that sounds scary.
I've been struggling with my mental health for over a year now, he opened my eyes when he said "it could be their mental health causing their poor lifestyle". As I've been getting healthier mentally I have realized more and more often past events and patterns that continued for years partially led to my mental decline. Guys please pay attention to how certain things make you feel, and how to avoid or cope with those thing. If you need help please reach out, to anyone. There's always someone willing to listen
Ik this isn't like a long, heart wrenching story but im gonna tell it anyway.
So one day my dad and i were having a pretty heated argument about religion (I'm not religious but he is) and he said that everyone who commited suicide deserved to go to hell because they took the life God gave them, which i totally disagree with. This went on for a few more minutes untill he told me that if I committed suicide, he wouldn't care and neither would my mum or my sisters. I was only 13 at the time. This happened a year ago and I normally forget stuff pretty fast but that just kinda broke me. Both him and my mum have said stuff like this to me over my life.
sorry for that man, hope you are better now.
I mean I still live with my parents but all the fucking time they would call me either useless or a parasite straight up and it was like wtf you guys who I thought had me side treat me like shit
Dude.. that's so terrible. Im so sorry you heard that from your own father. I am a follower of Christ myself but none of the people I've worked with at the Church never shared any kind of hurtful sentiment as not caring about people who commit suicide. I feel like your parents likely came to this opinion through a great deal of pain or misunderstanding, and just that, misunderstanding. I dont want to force anything on you or Bible bash you but I've known people like this aswell in my life, I found comfort in knowing that we shouldnt look for God in people, but go directly to him to form a relationship through prayer and scripture.
God doesn't want anyone to go to hell, he wants to share a deep and loving relationship with you, and eternal life is just a bonus to this. When I hear about people committing suicide, Its really hard to believe that this person themselves wanted to take their own life but when youre in that space its weird how it kind of makes sense. In reality, those thoughts are not your own, they dont come from you, they come from a dark place that wishes to see us meet and untimely end. Its an enemy that works against us in order to see us fail, and convinces us that we are the ones who want to take our own lives when in reality it is this darkness that whispers into our heart and mind under the guise of being our own thoughts.
I've also spoke about this suicide and Heaven topic with friends before, and ultimately the answer lays in God's word. I dont have the exact answers and am still learning and growing... but know that this is a kind and loving God who does care for you, to hear that your Dad says that he wouldnt care breaks my heart. Even people who claim to know or follow God can fall short and are far from perfect, just the very thought of your Dad not caring about your suicide is a very unloving stance to take, whereas it is written in the Bible : 1 John 4:7-8
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
I can't justify nor stand by what your Mom and Dad said, but If it helps in any way, please know that even in the Bible the people who God chose to do great things were very hurt and broken people. Church itself was never meant to be a place for those who feel they are above others, it is a hospital for the broken. I Pray over your parents as well as you, thanks for taking the time to read this and know that people care about you dude, sending love.
I’m so sorry dude :(
I'm sorry about that man. I don't understand why people like this would just say this kinda stuff and not care. Prayers to you
Wow I definitely teared up here. In my many years of dealing with my mental health troubles and meeting hundreds of people through the treatment programs I've gone through, I have never really had anyone understand what my mental health issues are and how they manifest themselves. This is the most I've related to someone else's mental health.. ever. Spot on.
The sleep paralysis, the 'rushed feeling,' panic attacks in your sleep and avoiding sleep because of it. I used to frequent the ER because my mind wouldn't be anxious at all but I'd suddenly feel like I was having a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism. I've been told that I do it for attention and that I'd feel so much better if I just changed my lifestyle. People say "it's like you don't even want to get better," but I want it more than anything. I'm just so. damn. tired.
As comforting as this video was, I would never wish these troubles on anyone else. I truly hope that he finds something that'll help him through this and reach the point of true functionality. Best wishes, my man.
About the panic attack yes i had one recently like yesterday
I'm a trucker in the UK and the worst place to make a drop is London so there i was at the wheel of a 40ton truck going around tight corners and narrow streets and heavily breathing and my chest tighting up and wired up ready to floor it not good
I also have an issue with ptsd when I had my hand crushed a rew years back its not that big of a deal honestly but if I hear a certain sound that triggers it
I'll stop and let someone else post now
Hey man, you posting doesn't stop other people from posting, and we are all here to hear peoples stories, so thank you for sharing.
Read a book "The body keeps the score", if you wanna know more about PTSD caused by an accident. This might be a little more serious than you think.
Thanks for sharing 💕
Listening to these stories is sometimes difficult to hear, but I'm glad there is light being shed about mental health for everyone else. It's stories like this that fuel me to become someone that could provide a lending hand, whether as a prospective psychiatrist or a friend. The feeling of being helped when you thought no one can help you or you thought it was impossible to be helped is surreal.
Hey, I watched all interviews with Mike and it reminded me a book I read recently, "The body keeps the score" by Bessel van der Kolk. It's basically about PTSD in veterans and abused children, the way America treats this illness, and the way you personally can take steps towards healing. I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in this topic and would like to know more about their panic attacks. After that you can read books by Jon Zinn-Kabat, I'd personally recommend "Full catastrophe living", this might help you to deal with all those issues related to abuse and stress.
I love these. It just shows how many people have or do go through some shit on the daily.
Yeah I agree😄
This guys explanation of downtime in the military and sea service is spot on.
I ummmm i kinda realat. When i was 9 or 10 i lives with my step father and my mom left him because he was cheating on her every chance he gat. Eaven with men. So when she left him he started getting drunk and.....hitting me. He beat the shit out of me. He thru me in a road to kill me.i thout it was normal. He didnt beat his son because you know its his son and he didnt bet my brother because he has sezer disorder. He keep saying its my fault. I know theres not alout i seid but theres alout to this story. Im 14 now i can never forgive him for what he has done. I have depression and i have PTSD. I also have ADHD but this is not part of the story. I love you symor because you make me realize theres more people out there like me. Please keep posting. Also im a musician and 8 poor my heart into music.but eny way keep posting pls tour amazing. Also sorry for the misspeling or bad grammar im a dumb ass.
Are you in therapy? Have you told anyone with authority this? Please do so and get therapy, the sooner you do the sooner you can feel normal
You're not dumb friend I appreciate you sharing your story. Life will move on, I hope you're out of the situation and able to talk to a therapist about it
So i do have a therapist but he doesn't let me see him for some resion and i have told my mom and just a select few friends on discord. Also i forgat to make it clear im no longer living with the that asshole thank you for the support you 2. I dont know what els to say
@@fuck_off7634 please don't be afraid to get help. If you see a good therapist they're heard situations like yours, and worse so don't worry about embarrassment.
Take care, and be careful
Thank you i will.
My family and I went to Maui once, and it was one of the best trips in my life. I remember when we got up really early so we could go up to Haleakala and see the sun rise. It was a mountain. I don't live in a bustling big city, but it was very bright so although we see some stars it's not much. But when I was up there in the cold, the sky was filled to the brim with stars. You couldn't tell what constellation was where, they were all just dots among the vast sea in the sky. I saw more shooting stars up there than the stars I see on normal nights at home. And then I got to see the sun rise over the clouds. It was amazing. I hope I can go back someday and see it again.
I've just discovered this channel, and while I may be speaking into the void here I think its worth saying that this is all really fantastic work, and I appreciate you giving so many different people the chance to tell their stories. Its super powerful stuff, and I hope you continue to give people that chance, especially if VRchat lets people feel more comfortable being candid and open with their experiences.
i haven’t gone through nearly enough shit as he has, but i guess i’ll share my story too. i’ve had a lot of mental health issues for the past couple years, but i’ve never really realized until the last few years. a lot of my friends noticed them before i did, actually. one time one of my friends casually mentioned that i had social anxiety in a conversation, and at the time i was like “...i do?”. another time i had a panic attack and was trying to text my friends through it while crying. i didn’t realize it was a panic attack until a few days after, when i was hanging out with some friends one of them (sarcastically, they weren’t making fun of me) said “so how was your first panic attack?” and i was like “that was a panic attack??”. yeah, the list goes on. on top of the social anxiety and depression, i’m also a trans guy. i realized it more than 2 years ago and i came out to my mother about a year and a half ago. she did not take it well in the fucking slightest. i tried multiple times to try to explain why i “wanted to become a guy” (in her words) but she just wouldn’t get it, and eventually i gave up. she’s always trying to convince me out of being trans as if i would change my mind some day. she never let’s me buy things from the male section, even though she let me do that before she knew i was trans. _every_ day she tries to “compliment” me because she somehow convinced herself that i think i’m trans because i have self confidence issues, which just makes me feel worse because her compliments are always shit like “you’re such a pretty girl, you don’t need to change anything”. i have asked her _multiple_ times to get me a therapist and all three times it’s just been ONE session, and then i never see them again because “i need to save up money” or “i just got a new job” or some other excuse. i know we’re poor and i’m not trying to sound spoiled, but whenever she says shit like “we can’t afford your therapist right now, i have a new job. we can’t spend money on anything we don’t need right now” and then proceeds to buy a ton of shit we don’t need, it just pisses me off. ever since i came out to her, i’ve for the most part stopped talking to her at all unless necessary. less than a year ago i got _very_ depressed and tried to kill myself by not drinking water and only eating popcorn for three days straight and she didn’t notice. in jan 2020, i almost tried to hang myself because a classmate who i thought liked me called me “a girl that thinks she’s a boy” behind by back and i just couldn’t deal with the thought that i would have to deal with that shit for the rest of my life. one time in my freshman year of high school, i invited my mother to watch the choir i was in preform a piece at some church because that was my first time auditioning for something and doing extremely well. it was a huge achievement for me. (for reference, i was in an all male choir) after the concert, literally all she had to say was how i don’t fit in with the other guys on stage because my shoulders are too slim, i still look like a girl, the tux doesn’t fit right, etc etc. i’m just so tired of living with her, but i’m only 16 so i’m unable to move out. sorry for kinda turning this into a vent, this got much longer than i wanted it to get.
I really enjoy his stories because he just tells it how it is. His and his family have a Stark life but it's still great listening to him talk about these things
Syrmor is basically everyone’s best friend/therapist
The way he described his panic attacks actually made me realize that I'm having panic attacks.
I wake up with panic attacks as well. I remember jumping up from my deep sleep, gasping for air, unsure of where I am. I remember turning to my sister and asking; "Are you *my sister's name*" and she nodded slowly.
Holy Cow, never have a heard such an accurate account of what my own panic attacks have felt like. I had a horrible time in college and it has got to the point where I just have horrible flashbacks every time I think about it. I never had it as hard as your friend, but I could relate to everything he said about panic attacks. I hope he is in a better situation now.
Growing up my father is and was an alcoholic. He’s a pathological liar, he hardly ever tells the truth so it’s like this game, to try and figure out when he’s being honest. I think he grew up in an abusive home (I think so but I’m not sure as I can’t take his word for it) where his mom was in an arranged marriage and abused by his dad. So he turned to alcohol and partying at 12. He told me to stop hanging out with the wierd kids and hang out with the cool kids. He also told me my art wasn’t real art so. It was disappointing to say the least. I think his lying and manipulating affects me today but I’ve grown from when he once had control over me.
Sounds awful. Please don't make excuses for him, he is 100% responsible for his actions.
You can decide to forgive him (not saying you should) at some point if you think that would help you move on in life, but that will never excuse/justify his actions.
Remember to seek help if you need it, you don't have to face those demons alone. Wishing you the best :)
It's tragic how little we've learned to deal and aid those with mental health from even the time these stories take place.
The way the panic attacks at the end were explained is totally how it feels for me too. Whoa.
I love the establishing shots. It really solidifies this as a documentary-style series and it's a really nice addition.
people say its their lifestyle that has a effect on their mental health but in reality its your mental health that is changing your lifestyle... realest shit ive heard in a while cause thats exactly how i feel and im surrounded by people who dont understand thats im living the way i do because i have problems i cant fix :(
I'm active navy, going through a program for a selective training, its so rough herr that I have seen a few people who have perished because they took there own life. Normally we don't see them, most go through without ever having to see someone dead, but i have had an unfortunate streak here. Stories like this remind me that life is just tough for everyone, and that I should always look out for my shipmates.
Sounds like PTSD with the random adrenaline rush of a panic attack, I have that from emotional abuse
I use to wake up gasping for air.I would be stuck in sleeping mode with my body just stiff af, and my eyes were wide open and I couldn’t breathe. And then My heart started beating again randomly and I would gasp for air. I’m 14 now and this use to happen when I was younger and I never knew why.
Hey symor dont know if u know me but the day u replied to my comment it made my day, you help so much people, with having people talking to you, you make me smile of how amazing you are thank you
This dude is incredibly intelligent. Hes spot on about self medicating. I grew up with abusive parents and suffered from many mental problems. Those same issues helped me get addicted to opiates and i was a heroin addict for over a decade. I still struggle day to day from anxiety and all kinds of other issues but have slowly learned to coup with them. After almost 15yrs of crap i have just now manage to get my life in a positive direction. I have a small decent job, house in a good neighborhood, motorcycle and car. Me and my wife have stuck together through those 15 horrible years. I sometimes feel bad bc my wife has recently started to really struggle with her mental issues...meanwhile im dong better than what i once was like. Im not sure. But we take our Vows seriously, just like how she carried me through the bad times now im carrying her and have no problem with it. I just wish i could help her better. But what are you gonna do i guess, life is one kick in the crotch after another
I have a abusive step dad rn, I can relate to this do much, he treats my sisters, and my mom so nicely, but he actually hates me, everything I do a mistake, he hits me, im 15 now, and I'm talking back and been running away almost every week, I will update you guys
How you been man?
@@aunox5657 I've been fine now, but I stand up for my sisters, and recently he tried to hit my sister when he was drunk and I pushed him away.
@@whowaseddy hey man how are u doing? I hope you are doing better
@@ovi5986 WAYYY better. my mom is at the point where she's about to kick him out, im 16 and I have learned alot of boxing and self defense to protect my sisters and my mom. thanks for asking :))
@@whowaseddy Im glad to hear it! Martial arts is a great choice by the way, i practice it myself haha. It helped me a lot with my mental health and making me feel secure in my own body. I hope it does the same and more for you ! Stay safe :]
Yup. His panic attacks explanation are very relatable. Like having a heart attack and you're going to die. And gasping for air.
I lived in florida for most of my life and I remember that the most surreal thing I had ever seen in my life was just standing in front of a mountain. It was like woah.
My mom was and still is an Doctor, though she has the more serious job of Emergency Medicine, so people in life-threatening situations. She was extremely abusive towards me, my dad and her co-workers, so much that she was fired from several different hospitals for her shit. Though she would quite often beat me whenever she could when I was younger but did less of it as I grew older and stuck with verbal abuse.
One day I just up and left with my dad and hid in a coastal town called Terrigal (I live in Australia). This started a court case which lasted for about Five years or more, throughout the whole thing she treated me like a glorified servant, she made me do next to all of the housework aside from cooking and would regularly scream at me, telling me I was a fucking moron, useless, stupid and once she even threatened to kill herself if I left her.
My father was willing to go through hell for me and I love him dearly for it, he knew how bad she was at the start of their marriage and despite that he never left because he didn't want to leave me with her so she could abuse me with no one around to help me, I'm an only child and my mother's side of the family just enabled her by pretending nothing was wrong and even supporting her abuse of me a few times. At the start of the divorce proceedings I was terrified to speak against her despite the shit she did to me until one day I just flat out left and never came back.
Hey Mike, I like hearing your stories. I'm also a Navy Veteran from Queens that joined the service around the same time as you did, from '06 to '11. You're a very strong dude just to tell your story and I can't imagine the situation that you had to deal with at home and at sea. I too suffer from sleep disorder, although I haven't been diagnosed with whatever disorder the VA can diagnose me with, I have a very messed up sleep schedule to the extent that it's affecting not only my mental health but my physical health as well. I can totally relate when it comes to having random panic attacks and waking up in the middle of the night for reason that God knows what; Glad that went away. Just thinking about my time in service with constant sleep deprivation, doing managerial work as a lowly E-4, port and starboard watches, duty days, unreasonable management, and deployment makes my heart rate goes up. However, I'm glad that we end up where things are more relaxed. Just keep on keeping on.
I haven't been in the military but have faced some abuse from my mother in the past as well, and had clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder (both of which have been treated). I consider that they'll follow me for a long time, and some days I still face some panic/anxiety attacks that feel a lot like how Mike describes them. I get the not breathing and the clutching my chest part, and I think that as much as they have stopped happening as often, they've gotten stronger when they do. It's tough, but thinking back on how far I've gone along my life journey motivates me for what's to come, you know? Thanks for sharing your experience, Mike, and I hope you know that your story has brought comfort to people all over the world
I'm not ready to feel at 5am, I'll watch after sleep
I definitely can relate to what Mike said in a few parts here.
LONG graphic wall of text ahead:
My dad's father abused him as well. My grandpa went to Vietnam and became traumatized. He was injured in an accident, and transferred to another base. Because he was injured they had him work on body identification (opening up body bags, finding dog tags, etc.) A week after he was transferred, the base he was originally stationed at was attacked, and all the soldiers were killed. He found out by opening those bags, and finding all his friends. He and my dad never talked about it much. I only know because of what my mom and grandma have told me.
After he came home from the war, he started abusing his kids. He beat my dad and verbally attacked him many times. I think my dad has always struggled coping with what happened. He can easily get aggressive if I say the wrong thing. I feel like I constantly have to walk on eggshells. But I do it anyways, because I love him. There have been a lot of times where he has verbally berated me. When I was a kid he would sometimes forcefully put his hands on me, but it never went past that. It was definitely the worst when I was a kid. He could get very scary. But I was never abused like he was. I don't think I can say I had it bad, not after what he went through.
Because of the way my dad treated me as a kid (and on account of being bullied all through middle school) I have a lot of anxiety. I have a very hard time being social, and spend most of my days by myself. I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have are fairly distant. I get panic attacks maybe every week or so. For me it's almost exactly as Mike described it in the video (with the exception of waking up). My chest feels like it's getting crushed and goes cold. My arms and legs shake to the point where I struggle moving. My mind goes all fight or flight on me. It sucks.
I think the worst thing is dealing with the loneliness. I want the companionship of a 'normal' life. I want to be able to go out with friends or family. I want the real thing, ya know? But I feel like everytime I go for it, I can't deal with the pressure. I crack and go back to my hole. I think I need to meet someone who can understand that. I need someone who can hold me accountable. The struggle is actually getting out there and meeting someone like that (especially with this mess we're all in rn).
If you've read this far: thank you, and I'm sorry. This was way too long, and I feel bad about it lmao.
Nah it's good dude plus I hope one day you can meet that someone😊
@@pine-solismylemonade5542 thank you pal. I hope so too!
Hey, you can seek help, but you can try to help yourself too with a little education on this topic. I understand that some people don't like reading books, but if you do, and you are willing to get out of this miserable circle, give a chance to "Full catastrophe living" by Jon Zinn-Kabat. You can then read "The body keeps the score" to know more about PTSD and child abuse, to learn about the mechanisms in our brain that causes so much pain, trying to deal with horrible memories. Stay healthy.
Hey man, don't be sorry, i think that most people here, like me, like reading other people's stuff and feeling that they're not alone. I hope it gets better for u, for all of us, it's been tough the last few months (even years) ... But i really hope it'll get better sometime soon, including this fucking virus...
A brofist from Brazil, stay safe out there 🤜🏻🤛🏻
A lot of what Mike says reminds me of "F is For Family". Drug abuse, an almost butterfly affect of trauma, PTSD from serving in the military
The way he describes panic attacks is exactly the way I experience them. It started happening a few years ago after a horrible experience after which I was diagnosed with PTSD. The sudden feeling like your body is dumping a bunch of adrenaline directly to your heart despite the lack of a trigger, waking up at night gasping for air as if I had stopped breathing 3 minutes ago, not wanting to go to sleep because you'll lose control when you (start to) go unconscious knowing you'll just spiral into a panic attack again.
At the start it was especially terrible since I felt like I was constantly getting an adrenaline rush literally every couple of minutes. Anything and everything triggered it and I couldn't sleep more than a couple of hours a night for weeks, until after 3 months something finally settled inside of me and overnight it stopped and I could relax again. It took another 3 months before I went from 90% back to 99% normal again overnight. I still have the occasional panic attack but it's much more controlled and I've learned to recognise it, and recognise that the feeling of an adrenaline rush IS a trigger for my body to spiral me into a panic attack.
In the end I'm somewhat glad for the whole thing because it helped me find a supplement (magnesium) that has changed my life drastically and helped more than any antidepressant I had ever been on, and I never would've thought to look into something like that if I hadn't been so through with everything that I would try ANYTHING to feel better.
Thanks for having shared your stories here man. Hearing you talk about this stuff feels cathartic as hell
Those of us with PTSD just audibly laughed at "Don't get married"
Ah the discussion no one needs to/ever will understand lhaha
My favorite guest so far
For the past couple years I've been getting panic attacks and long episodes of anxiety. I didn't know what it was until I took myself to the hospital at 3am thinking I was going to have a heart attack. When a doctor finally came to talk to me come proper morning, they helped explain what might be happening. It helped me manage it from there, but it makes me wish that mental health and self-care were a part of our education system.
Shout outs to Mike as well, for someone who has been through so much he's stopped the cycle of abuse with himself. His strength and composure is inspiring.
The way Mike explain his experiences in a soothing voice, makes it more pleasure to listen and sympathize with him.
Love the content keep it up
I’m loving these vids. This guy is cool and has great stories
I just realized his about tab. ‘I like eggplants in virtual reality’ is very ominous.
I can totally relate with this story. The panic attack section was the same way I felt. I lived in an apartment with people I hated and I would wake up in the night with panic attacks just because I hated where I was. I fell into a deep hole and I think what it comes down to is talking to people and not letting it hold up on you forever.
To anyone that may be feeling that anxiety or depression that we all kind of go through in our lives at one point, just know it doesn't last forever. I hope you can one day take control of your feelings and know you are deserving of happiness.
Much love Syrmor! I love your videos dude you are the best! If you ever need a Japanese translator for your interviews I gotchu:D
Ty for the videos, these always cheer me up or make me feel less lonely.
I'm so happy to see Mike, I love the videos made with him 😄
I relate to this guy in a couple senses. I’m finishing up my 4 1/2 years in the army right now and things are pretty bad with my unit… But I’m pretty driven and determined to do well for myself when I get out. Ive taken it upon myself to make my plans for the future when I get out. If anyone is reading this and is on their way out of the military just know that you’re almost free and there are so many opportunities for you on the outside. you just need to know what you want to do. In everything you do, have heart
When the piano cover of "Fly Me to the Moon" came on, I cried. Thanks for these videos
I heckin love this guy. Great stories about military to civilian life transition.
Mike, you need an MRI. It sounds like somethings physically broken in there, and that your aged stress is rolling over the trigger every so often..
Is that a thing?? Could u elaborate on aged stress and triggers?
I have the same panic attack symptom, I would do the same and just frantically tap my heart hard. Luckily for me people like him helped me pushed through and gave me hope that I can cope and so can you
Dude the way you described your panic attacks is exactly how they are for me. It was nice to hear someone talk about it ty.
Love this dudes storytelling, can’t wait to join the army when I’m 18
‘There are so many other guys I could have been with’
Wtf he is paying for you to live
That was a deep story it is amazing how much you can sympathize with others once you give yourself some time to get to know them. Wish the Navy dude all the best and thank you Syrmor for sharing.
His description of panic attacks is very close to my own experience. I thought I was having a heart attack the first time, woke up at 4am sweating profusely with my heart hammering. It felt like waves of shivers and electricity were coursing through my body, I felt like there was pressure on my head and I was terrified and panicked. I just had to ride it out, didn’t call an ambulance only because I felt embarrassed to be bothering anyone at that hour...
I learned to think things through and distract myself whenever I felt them coming on. Pot was a trigger, I smoked for a while and then one day it didn’t make me feel good and now if I even have a touch of it in any way it sets me off. So I quit that, got off the SSRI I was on and wound up taking Xanax for 3 months just to fall asleep. Off it all now, been steady for about a year but every now and again I feel it kind of building. Exercise helps, quitting pot, relying on as few chemicals and substances to cope as I can, having a career or work goal, and talking about my experiences with family and friends has all made an impact. It’s been slow, took me almost a year to stop having attacks regularly but you can make it. Always remind yourself, you aren’t actually dying and your body is telling you to make changes, up to you to find out what they are.
Love this stuff, great life advice
These videos really put your own problems in perspective. And I feel so much love and compassion for this dude I don’t even know.
10:15 I've been also struggling with panic attacks in the past. When he says that it feels like you're having a heart attack, is so accurate. One of the worst feelings ever experienced.
Hey i saw the first story and i can relate so much with that currently im living with my parents and me and my mother have never got along a physical and verbally abusive relationship which i think is because of her abusive alcoholic father and she sees my real father in me as well which is why shes resente full to me now im in the process of joining the British army,im 18 and ive left college.
Mike should check out the book Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins! My friend (who is also a Navy veteran) recommended it to me and I think Mike would relate to a lot of it, or at least the takeaways about overcoming obstacles that life throws at you.
Jesus I love these videos so much, I never knew I would love these videos but since the first one I’ve fallen inlove, thank you syrmor and others who have talked in these videos
The “panic attack” he’s describing I’ve experienced little under a year after my discharge out of the Army and everything he’s experienced after getting out I’ve experienced and it’s really opening my eyes that maybe it’s normal but not a good normal that it’s happening to me. Atleast I know where to tackling my problems from
Deep shit man. Glad I got out of the navy those work hours are no joke!!
Going hard in da paint
Thank you so much for posting stuff like this. It's easy to forget I'm not the only person who's been through shit.
Damn I felt this on a personal level because sometimes I wake up and feel as if I'm falling.
I also possibly have untreated anxiety but it's different for me as well I don't know how to put it into words how it affects me since I never noticed it until someone pointed it out recently and now I'm terrified that my entire life might be a lie.
He has a very intelligent vocabulary with almost no cussing, very smart man i would say
I was pretty angry thinking about the past so that’s why I was cursing a bit more then usual.
Hey Navy Man, if you read this, hit me up sometime. I have a different life than you, but a lot of similar experiences and it would be interesting to talk to each other about them.
Anytime. I like to help others!
I love this channel thanks for putting out so many great vids
Watching all of these videos helps me to know that there are other people out there with other problems. When I was going through a tough time with my mental health, I didnt want to believe that people could help or care for what was broken (aka me) and sooner or later leave me worse then before. But, seeing how others have dealt with there mental health makes me feel better, and although I haven't been through many terrible times I know if i try i can feel better.
Nothing just would like to know what is the FONT u r using ?
Titillium!
@@syrmor thnx ,btw i just wanted to say that u r from the best youtubers i know that uses subtitles as a basic thing in there videos a great editor to learn from ,keep it like that
Whoohoo!
I’m in such a weird place where I’m doing good now but my past has been catching up with me because I have a lot of trauma and I never coped and I just have needed someone to vent to about everything, shit just hurts, and I’ve repressed it for so long, and there’s so much abuse, suicide, friends dying, my dysphoria and being trans and so much more
I love this channel its like a lesson and story in every video
Shiiii😍
im glad the people at my command treat everyone equally, im sorry to hear that the people never treated you right
I experience panic attacks in the same way I can recognize, the fight or flight style response is worsened when you're in a public space with no escape to "shelter".
There's an old superstition that sleep paralysis occurs when a specific demon is sitting on your chest, drinking your dreams.
I mean that's an old load of hoodoo crap, but fun to tell