Unless your fight or flight reflex is actually freeze. Then cortisol makes sucks away all your energy. you sit still, isolate and sink into a world of maladaptive daydreaming.
“One of the worst punishment to give a person with complex trauma is to put them in a room with nothing to do.” Which is exactly what we do when detaining people in s136 Places of safety: a small, locked room with nothing in it and nothing to do. That’s the real lunacy. We “treat” mental illness with Isolation, medication, restricting occupation and activity, disconnection.
Yeah it's weird how you instinctively know things are deeply wrong about our family at a very early age. Then we spend a huge chunk of adulthood in denial, blaming ourselves instead, forever adding to the chaos with our string of maladaptive coping mechanisms. Then once we fall flat on our faces one too many times you just go back to the drawing board and finally realise that "huh. Yeah. Maybe childhood and upbringing really did have something to do with all of this" I think we've all just got so out of touch with ourselves and what we already knew was true. Its easily done when outside forces are the loudest.
Pastor Tim, can you talk about avoidance/fear of responsibility and moving forward in life (due to low confidence in self and fear of failure, etc)? I love your videos. They’re incredibly helpful. I’ve been in recovery for 2.5 years now, for the last time. I wish I lived closer to your organization, because I would love to seek your services and come to your groups.
Would also love to hear this! Growing up with undiagnosed autism and trauma from bullying/emotional neglect has left me avoidant and stuck in flight/freeze mode, and that needs to change.
Me too! I relate to this so much. I have missed opportunities because of fear and avoidance and I feel stuck. I don’t want to say I haven’t made some good choices, but it’s been a hard road.
Honestly think Tim has some of the best content out there on Complex Trauma. I am a bit triggered by the pastor aspect as much of my trauma is related to being raised in a Christian cult but I appreciate that he separates his preaching from his mental health advice pretty well. Kudos Tim, I appreciate what you do very much.
I was also in a religious cult and anything having to do with religion is a trigger for me as well. I just found this channel and he seems spot on about CT so I’m going to try to ignore the “pastor” part.
A cult, in the context of religion, means a mind control cult. Mind control means the religion has actual mind control techniques in place, even and especially as doctrine, to purposely deceive and manipulate an individuals thoughts and emotions in order to incentivize the individual to join and emotionally blackmail, intimidate, and coerce someone into staying even if they don't believe in it anymore. Perfect example... the Jehovah's Witnesses are an actual mind control cult, and so are the Scientologists, because they literally use the text book on mind control tactics in order to gain and retain members and harass and punish those who wish to leave or who do leave. The LDS church, aka "Mormons", DO NOT use mind control tactics to gain or retain members. In fact, they say "do not take our word for it, pray to God and follow what he guides you to do. God will tell you if it is true or not"... whereas the JW's will tell you to never read the Bible on your own without their special watchtower materials or else you might "revert to the Christianity that is run by Satan, which is everyone but us, and all these bad things will happen to you and we discourage you from ever getting mental healthcare and do not call the police if one of our memebers molests your child, and you absolutely should not attend college or we will revoke your father's elder priviledges" and so on and so forth. Therefore, the LDS church is NOT a mind control cult, while the Jehovah's Witnesses are absolutely a mind control cult. Every religion has its own culture, this does not make the religion a mind control cult. Disagreeing with a religion's beliefs or doctrines does not make them a mind control cult.
@gesagin1 The thing that kills me about you anti-God people is that you have a problem with someone else's beliefs, even though it isn't your business, but yet you expect no one to have a problem with yours. Arrogance, selfishness, and an utter lack of empathy for others. Ever wonder why he is the best speaker on this subject? It's because he understands the soul and its reaction to the apparent absence of God in this world and resultantly, the soul's perception of the abscence of Love and the way the ego and subconsciousness reprogram the brain in order to protect the soul from the pain this absence causes. Because complex trauma is not only emotional and psychological... it is spiritual as well.
Why wouldn't any single medical or behavioral professional in all my years have ever explained to me the different types of ADHD and their characteristics/symptoms? Just that information alone sheds an incredible amount of light on my understanding of my struggles with ADHD. I recently discovered your channel and have been binging every day. I have lived over 5 decades without a solid break from abuse and trauma. Most recently and by far the most brutal and severe was from my husband of 12 years. Turns out he's a malignant, covert narcissist (the most dangerous kind). He literally destroyed my entire world both internally and extremely. My body pretty much completely shut down after decades of living in survival mode. I'm determined to heal an entire lifetime of unfathomable abuse and, break free from this life sentenc of C-PTSD. I have done nothing but spend every waking minute of every day for nearly 4 years, educating myself in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma. Your talks have been the most helpful I've found to date because of how you explain it like you are telling a story... MY STORY. You are changing the world.... MY WORLD! 💕
Sure hope you can heal well! I'm not fond of you placing the locus of control on others for you not understanding the ADHD. Nothing stopped you from diving into that. So many books, reports, internet information available and even conferences to attend. You've been victimized a lot, but you are not 'just' a victim. You learning all this is helping you put order into the world. Perhaps you can later on help others too :)
while watching this video I was thinking of looking up what books Tim might have written on the subject, instead of just stopping and listening to what he thinks about it right now! Insane.
My partner was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD., when he was 3 years old. I can totally see how with the way his parents were, that was part of the reason for his actions. He, also almost died after he got some vaccines, I think he was about 1or 2, when it happened . All of it, combined made him to be who he was. The environment, really does matter, how it affects babies/children. But, also how my partner came into this world. His mom says he was doing flip flops, from the moment he could kick and move in the womb. And, he never stopped with his energy. I loved him. But, life got in the way. Our relationship became very toxic. He never got the help he needed. He became very narcissistic, with his actions. Especially, towards the end. My partner became sick, and died. It has messed me up a bit. I have my own issues. Thank you.
That's hard! Sorry for your loss! It really is very hard to have a relationship--a healthy one--with people who have some of these problems...It's hard not to respond in a way that ultimately feeds the narcissistic pieces of the person.😢spiral down!
They are distinguishable. My gf has cptsd and I have adhd and we're both very different people. Are symptoms are different. If a cptsd person is very relaxed then they can focus just fine. Me I can be relaxed and still struggle heavily to focus
It’s one thing to not connect. It’s another thing to hurt and abuse those who try to connect with you, even after that safe person has given you years to heal. When my abuser crossed that line I had to let him go, even though he was only 18. I still pray for him every day. He gives me the silent treatment because I enforced my no abuse boundary. Hardest thing I’ve ever done but if I hadn’t he would have taken the whole rest of the family down with him.
@@jackwalker4957 I said I let him go but he actually let me go. He gave me the silent treatment again after he broke my boundary. He’s adopted. I thought I could love him through it but he wouldn’t let me. He sabotaged himself and physically and emotionally abused every member of our family. I mean domestic violence-choking, sexual abuse, raging. But only toward us and people who knew him very well. Charming and manipulative to everyone else. He’s a narcissist.
Lol non-stressed, emotionally available and consistent. Exactly the OPPOSITE of my mother growing up… I was brought into this world to help HER regulate her emotions and undiagnosed adhd 😂. Why would I expect to receive consistent care?? I was already born “perfect” and “gifted” so why would they have to do any parenting??
Also, so many kids, including myself had to work from the day we were born. Clean, mow, work in the business. Mostly it appeared fun. But child labour, guilt for either being to tired to clean the house everyday, or deal with other people's emotional regulation issues everyday. People have kids so they can work and then ship them off to a job. And not much else. This is quite common. Even now. I worked on farms too, before high school. I suppose I learned work ethic, but some of the adult stuff with money and work at 10 or so is daunting for a kid. Especially if it's an expectation, and perfection is the expectation. I envy kids that were raised as kids. Whatever that means or is supposed to look like. For what it's worth, I had some ways to get away, have fun, fight back, fight for my rights etc. At 50, I started the healing process. At 51, I'm seeing the light, for my peaceful future and present. Life was one big struggle after another. And barely any cheering in my corner. A working childhood is an isolated, and alienated one. I hope children of today don't have to work like a dog and still get disrespect from their parents or siblings. It took years to convince my parents that education, a degree, and a logical path to a wonderful job was an option. I started a career in my 30s. Parents saw retail and minimum wage as sustainable? Or working for them for 20$ a week, 80$ a month into my 20s. Eventually, I needed to learn from real, caring, smart people how to go to school, get a degree, get a career, find a place to live and leave the past behind. It took about 10 years with a life coach to understand how the world really works. Parents can willfully keep you in the dark to keep you working for them for pennies. And of course, they tell the world, that you are paid and well fed. Lies. Once my outside friends found out I got paid 20$ a week. They were like, that's not right. It took years for me to clue in and get from under their power or magical manipulation of me and other family members. Kind of a sickness of sorts. I forgave them and live elsewhere. I get a paycheck and earn a living. Stockholm syndrome is real.
After leaving the Christian church 3 decades ago, I haven't felt pulled back to it, yet I find that I most often choose to stay for this part and really enjoy the stories and the way you relate them to CPTSD.
I began a series from my church on my channel if you want to check it out. I have CPTSD as well and Welp I’m here now at 4am am this first 5min drew me in
Yooo. I left the Christian church too. My "Christian" mother is a narcissist. Not to mention the people at church gave me the worst "church hurt" after telling their kids not to associate/hang out with me because I was from a broken home. I had to realize that there's sick people everywhere, even in the church, and it isn't a reflection of God. Just a reflection of broken people pretending to be "Christ like" without really ever bothering to read and or internalize what Jesus teaches. I ended up coming back and finding God again and really trying to change myself for the better through that power. There are no perfect churches, but I found one that has some genuine caring people. Hope you find yours as well.
@@shadowfax9177 hey brother tap in with me. I do virtual lessons and we learn and grow together but I have a lot to offer and it’s a safe space I don’t let anyone bully my sis Tibet’s or people to learn. I’d love for you to join us. 5Pm CT tonight tap in I’ll be live
Yes, and emotionally immature parents. I have seen kids with ADHD like my ex were both parents were lovely but mum was really not present for him when he was little - he has ADHD. I have narcissistic parents and I have ADHD and CPTSD
I think too that emotional neglect could be a factor. I mean when you constantly get blanked or ignored and have absolutely zero interest n feedback from caregivers your brain is just frantically bouncing around to get any kind of stimulus going Or at least that's part of what I put my stuff down to. Narcissistic parenting is also a type of emotional neglect, so it kind of ties in. Particularly when they're using the silent treatment as a manipulation tactic. And why _wouldnt_ we be forgetful when you're constantly getting gaslit and have your confidence undermined in everything you do. You're left not knowing if up is down and vice versa so yeah of *COURSE* I forgot my keys Why would you know how to prioritize when you're being told every decision you make is the wrong one? Should I second guess myself again? Have I forgotten something? Walk on eggshells incase you upset the narcissist, better yet just leap over them completely n bounce off the walls lol Huh what? Sorry I wasn't listening the barage of abuse has started again.... 😒
Because im clinically diagnosed with servere ptsd and have been some time by multiple psychiatrists and clinical psychologists. A symptom of ptsd is avoidance which i use destraction for i can rule my whole day with distraction when im not destracted and theres nothing i fear the possiblity of remembering traumatic events that were very life threatening and that fear of the possibity of remembering those things or start thinking abouts events is strong enough to push me to constant destraction to avoid them.
Thank you! This is important! I haven’t been diagnosed with cptsd but I know I’m suffering from it. Left my narcissist husband of 40 years and need distractions
This speaks to me. My parents never abused us, but they abused one another. And, being poor and mixed race in a world where that was not common, the world abused us as well. Everyone, I guess, has a cross to bear. I guess I should work on the reasons I feel the need for distractions--and develop some better habits.
Thanks! I wish I could tell you my story so that you could understand the huge significance of your teachings affecting me in ways that 40 years of seeking has never done. Clearly I am ready to hear it and I praise God for you.
Another side is children have a different attachment to adults who instill fear in them. Frozen watchfulness is a recognised behaviour in children and also in adults who live in fear of someone who creates fear in a family. This was the case in my family. While most of us stayed quiet, my youngest sister who was born premature, appeared, to be constantly attracting attention, she possibly had adhd , in retrospect, and as a result was often punished for no good reason. Living with one parent who was bipolar and the other who was a narcissist is dangerous both to your physical and mental health.
I have recently noticed I easily distract to any other incomplete activity (task, project, studying & journaling), until it becomes emotionally stirring. I cannot stay focused and will get up to use the bathroom, answer the door and find a different, incomplete activity and with real intent, I attempt to complete that one. I see that I make 5 minutes of additional progress and the moment I see a simple, quick chore that I can complete in less that 15 seconds or "I am going into that room anyway, so I'll grab that, too" and carry things in my arms for an hour.. It has caused such a feeling of fragmentation.
@@mistypfitzer111I have a plastic tub (like that would fit in a sink) and gather items while moving room to room. It helps me stay present with why I'm in the room and basically "filing" the distraction in the "later" box.😅
I stepped out of my trauma through bodywork. I essentially felt my nervous system downshift twice, and the second time I thought I had a stroke it seemed so slow. It took me a minute to realise that I was just in real time for the first time in my life. I have been in the moment / flow / present / and in the Zone in every aspect of my life since. I'm a massage therapist of 25 yrs, so I was recovering from a siezure and so intune with my body that I understood what was happening. I am off all meds, and have zero anxiety. Its a lovely place to be.
I am glad God sent this video to my recommends. I'm 26 and have been diagnosed with inattentive adhd at 22. I just spent two hours zoning out on youtube shorts when this came up and I feel God's peace hearing this. I focused on each point and it makes so much sense in regard to my whole family. Thank you Lord
The mental health system will have you believe your humanity is mental illness. The more you practice long-term focus, the easier it becomes. Sincerely, An ex Ritalin kid.
Sounds like ADHD has become the newest "catch-all" diagnosis. Kind of like "GERD". Before jumping to Labels, (which can be stigmatizing), We must begin at the Source.. the Home environment means everything to the development of a young child. A great many of the "symptoms" labeled as ADHD, may simply be ongoing trauma responses.
For each pill created there is a new problem/diagnosis. GERD/heart burn is easly treated with baking soda. The Dr will not tell you that. Drs are not taught diet and homeopathic remedies for healing. Instead they will hand you a perscription or send you to a specialist as if the body is in parts not a whole system. So over the US human destruction system. Generations have been misdiagnosed and mistreated for profit not health and true healing. Best to you on your journey in life as we keep digging for the truth to save ourselves and help others truely heal to live their best lives with us.
I’m listening to this while I’m simultaneously working out and getting my mandatory 10k steps between sets as well as organizing/doing dishes/cleaning/doing laundry 😅 I never sit down and I’m always listening to something while I constantly do something. I usually eat standing up. I haven’t had a TV or a couch for many many years. I have a couch now but I never sit on it.
I truly tried my hardest to do nothing but I realized doing nothing was doing something so I still sit hoping that it becomes nothing overtime but doing nothing over a time is still doing something over time so back to square one. Great presentation, Tim 🙏
Thank you for breaking apart the scripture and pulling out that the spirit is willing. I feel like pastors have always read a lot of shame into that verse and read it as a harsh rebuke and failure. Thank you for pointing out their physical fatigue and Jesus’s compassion for Peter even in the soft rebuke/frustration.
I thank you so much for this conversation And suddenly everything is understandable to me, the guilt, the social problems, and the narcissistic environment that does not allow connection, I have no words to thank you
Important to keep in mind (for children and adults alike), is to incorporate an anti-inflammatory diet, which includes nutrients needed to grow and support healthy brain function. Detoxification is another aspect to consider.
Absolutely 💯💯💯 agree! We need to be taught from a young age how our food can either be medicine or can cause ill-health & inflammation. Why were we taught about inflammation at school? Food plays such a major role in our mental & emotional health.
@@vikramad36 Different individuals thrive on different diets, yet in general inflammation is reduced by cutting out highly refined processed foods with harmful additives, and when going low carb/high fat alongside regular periods of fasting. Some do very well on carnivore, testifying how various disorders are healed. You might be interested in looking into the work of Nutritional Psychiatrist Georgia Ede, MD Natasha Campbell McBride, MD Jason Fung, Prof. Tim Noakes, MD David Unwin, MD Gary Fettke, MD Ken Berry (and others), who are all focussing on incorporating nutritional advice in treatment of patients.
This helps iron out a lot... I am glad that I compensate you by being a member. I can freely partake of this wisdom without guilt. These are ideas I have been looking for for a long time. I have always liked Gabor and followed him, but you extrapolate things from his work in a way that caters much more precisely to my situation. I have been looking to put this problem in perspective since the 1980's. I always constantly make mistakes because I was never taught by a person I was connected to and I have problems with learning!!! Thank you again!
No rush, piece by piece youll lighten your load, you have all your life to work on yourself, thats what I always think aboutand it comforts me. One little habit at a time 🧡
This is a lifetime work. I would say make a list. Place the ones you feel are at the highest priority of healing(like shame) and start working. It IS overwhelming, but all we have is time. Chip away day by day. Know that as long as you are moving forward just a little bit and working, that is enough.
You probably dont give a shit but if you guys are bored like me during the covid times you can stream all of the new series on instaflixxer. Been binge watching with my girlfriend these days =)
"What is it I don't want to feel? And let's fix that." Easier said then done. People are stressed because they live in constant fear of not being able to pay the bills. People live in crime ridden environments. Many are facing health problems or have a close one with that. People walk on eggshells near a family member or colleague or manager with narcissistic traits. Children, and adults as well, are bullied on a daily basis (especially the nicer ones, it seems). Unrighteousness and power abuse prevails. There's much abuse and stress in many schools and classrooms. Do something about that and your epidemic might come down a lot.
@@svmwasthesheet1971 What kind of a stupid answer is that? I was merely pointing out, that there are a lot of sociology factors involved, that are not mentioned here. Gosh, I hate it when people are This Ignorant.
@@Fawn91193 ??? This is NOT called a beast system. This is just ordinary humans behaving badly towards each other. Greed and theft are major contributors to any problem in a culture.
I think it's both genetics and environment. Epigenetics has proven that gene expressions can change according to environmental stressors or even diet. If mothers are stressed and suffering while pregnant, what's to say that it doesn't change the epigenetic expression of the fetus in development? Given that trauma can be generational, it can create generational genetic change as well.
Exactly! So many variables! I (reportedly) threw up every time after eating for the first two years of life!! My hippie Uncle ordered poi from Hawai'i and had it sent. Probably saved my life, but did not make the parents behave like human beings. So many complexities.
Thank you so much for freely publishing this information online. It's uncomfortable how close these described circumstances are to my own-and I am SO grateful God has been dealing with me so deeply for so long that many of the outcomes have been mitigated. God's love and compassion are so very tangible when you have zero people on earth who understand you and you just ask for His help! It helps to have pastoral leadership who allow time in their meetings for people to just pray and/or cry to God!❤🎉
Thank you! Your lectures helping me to understand myself and have the intention to start doing the right for me things to improve the pain and discomfort inside.
I just happened upon this I knew right away you are a pastor 😅. Thank you for addressing these complex issues. Sometimes these distractions become beautiful Art, Music, Literature etc...
Was son was born distracted! He was so hyper and did not sleep well for years! He had so many problems breast feeding and then bottle feeding. He would stay up all night as a toddler. He really was born with adhd. He has also been diagnosed with ASD. I know it’s not my fault but it’s hard to not blame myself.
😊recently I’ve found your studies on trauma and I’m following you…daily With your approach I can easily follow..the unfolding of the trauma in my life..as I’ve recently learned I’ve had a lifetime of exposure to events causing this .. very valuable for me Thank you 😊
I am a mother who was severly depressed after giving birth to my son. It was just before covid era. And now we are in diagnostic process,but probably he Has ADHD. I knew it, that it is because od how terrible mother I was for him, not on purpose, of course. Body,but You told me this. Thank You!
Solitary confinement for 9 moths after I got arrested for drugs about 30 years ago. Was in jail 2 years waiting for their case to complete, it was hell. Almost got 40 years for what amounted to a 2nd year o chem practical exam. Was MDMA as a desperate last ditch attempt to heal what was broken. Ended up 2000x more broken afterwards 😕💩💀
Appropriate and how it's supposed to be! I agree, same for me, only I am also now opening up all the doors to other Master Ascenders and Angels and it is incredible how much we are actually supported by all Divinities if we just invite them in and concentrate on conscious awareness, creating the life you now want. The I AM affirmations and violet flame of St. Germain are extremely powerful and God's gift given to all in our heart spark and we can expand this tool of the Holy Spirit and transmute all misqualified negative energies. I AM is God's name and He told us it is Full God Activity in us; we just have to make connection and stay in our I AM Presence in the now, which is the only real point of power to be able to change past, present and future , thanks be to God, Holy Spirit who is the feminine aspect of God for us here on Earth, Liason for all the living and our Mother Earth and all Divinities. We can truly access the power of God to meet all our needs with prosperity ! Try it , it's miraculous , as it's what's keeping me going, facing everything and entirely transforming after a lifetime of abuse and betrayal and neglect , I AM now, EverPresently, meeting my own needs with the I AM that I AM, activating the Authentic Holy Christ self within - this is the rebirth of immortality and the most glorious joy !!! This is what's required to Ascend ourselves and the planet, the Divine plan is in motion and we can accelerate it and prosper beyond our imaginations, thanks be to God. Think , believe, visualize and have faith in and decree what you want, with the Mighty I AM Presence and positive constructive word phrases which overwrite and easily override the subconscious with God-coded programming when you invite God's will to merge with your own free will ⚡⚡⚡🔥💜🔥🎶🙏🏼😇🕊️💫 (We have been grossly misusing the I AM by following it with a negative word or phrase which literally creates that reality because we thought so and felt so and said so, is why human consciousness and behaviour and history keeps repeating itself. The worst programming is in negative word codes and limitation and the downward cursing spiraling effect created in humanity feeding the abuse and illness cycles all programming for DIS EASE and stress and death. (Also eating death if we eat animal corpses). The focus must be on the Ascension Resurrection immortal transformation , Eternal Life which is our God given estate, NOT the crucifixion and death which is what orthodox pagan systems and ideas indoctrinated us with to our detriment.and programming through our word coded language ! We are Divine Immortal Beings in God Love Perfection with Christ-Love Consciousness ! Not mere humans programmed for physical gratification etc.)
Distraction is also useful for distracting oneself from chronic physical pain. It is now realised that pain is a universal experience, impacting physical and emotional, and spiritual. The brain does not distinguish between these different modalities of experience.
Updating your RAS (reticular activating system) in the brain, (which is the filtering net of incoming stimuli) allows you to shift at what and where: you are looking... You have a limited number of choices... Updating the RAS shifts your consciousness...
I might have a plea for connecting this sort of story to how people’s diets and Epigenetics is totally connected, especially considering my story. I can totally see how a story like mine would help millions.
I suffered complex truama and was diagnosed with CPTSD. Distractions were my life. I have used it to educate my self and develop my hobbies. Educating myself helped free me from the cycles. As long as i take care of myself and maintain my awareness of potential triggers I don't slip. So what if i live my life slower now, I am more comfortable.
I wasn't Taught to have a relationship with myself or to know what I want in my life I wasn't hot any of these things and so being alone have been hard and wanting to constantly escape from the feelings of been alone with myself by having distractionshe's helped me cope by not feeling I still have a problem with that somewhat Today not as much but somewhat
ADHD can be seen on brain scans these days. People with ADHD have different brains and connections. They did a study on this by scanning the brains of 12.000 U.S. children age 9 and 10 at the Yale school of medicine. Hopefully this is going to be the new standard in testing for ADHD because there are so many misdiagnoses these days. C-ptsd mimics lots of the same symptoms. But not all people with ADHD have trauma in their lives.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. This world is so difficult to live in, because we are sinned against so often! And we are not free from sinning ourselves. The Christian preaching leads us on the path of being forgiven ourselves and to stop contributing to the problems in this world and start contributing to the solutions in this world.
It's sad to watch these videos because I feel it's so late for me. I self destructed so much that now it's virtually impossible for me to get these things in order. :(
I really can relate to your comment, but want to empower you and myself, that it's better late than never. Things come in the right time... Even if we can't see it that way
Assuming that the percentages you mentioned are accurate ( which is a huge assumption) It stands to reason that there is an obvious trend going on within which it seems evident to me that we're witnessing the birth of a new industry. Another aspect of pharmaceutical capitalism
I think if there is a cause/effect relationship between adhd and trauma it is likely the adhd that causes the trauma. I had noteworthy neuro-atypicalities by the time I was a year old. Seems unlikely that was caused by trauma. But I was diagnosed with adhd at about 10 and by then was already traumatized by how different I was and how exasperated that made other people.
Adhd (link to trauma theory) getting diagnosed more bc just about all divorce cases with a kid involved end up in family court. & most of those cases involve narcissistic abuse. Kids are traumatised in daycare. Mothers can't be mothers anymore. Coincidentally traumatised ppl are easier to control ;)
Two years ago I tried to go sit on the beach. I was SO bored!! Just sitting there. Nothing to do. I have no idea how all of those people can just sit there hour after hour. But I guess they did not have bad childhood. ??? Of course I was never taken to a beach as a kid even though it was close by.
There's more to life than trauma. Some people enjoy the view, the sound of the waves, the chatter and laughter of children, the basking in the sunlight. Some others are bored out of their minds, even if not traumatized at all. They like hiking, camping, exploring, seeing new things. Many people on a beach read, do some Sudoku, make a little stroll, go have some fun with each other in the water. Being all by yourself there will bring you nothing much, when you are an extrovert. You need to go to the beach with friends then.
Wow I am 50 and have had many of these problems for years! I always thought there was something wrong with me. I don’t wa t to go on medication. So what would be the solution for these issues? Especially organizing! As in organizing my life? Thanks for this video 🙏
I was traumatized hard by children tormenting me for being trans. There was a particularly bad time when I was painting my nails in class and nearly the whole class got in on tormenting me. I'm 5 years old. Me ego is weak from fending off harassments from days prior. And it just dies. It's scary enough to have an ego death as an adult but as fucking 5 year old?? It's torture. I had a psychotic break and ran out of the room, didn't know who I was, I was so scared. I vomited. My mom came and picked me up and brought me to urgent care. I was catatonic, at least I think I was. I remember not saying anything. The new ego comes about with one priority above all others, never experience that again. And I gave my ego the keys to the kingdom. It had complete control over me. So I changed my gender, to that of a boy, so the harassment would stop, and it did. Lovely society we have... I'm not sure how much later it was that I first saw Visual Snow in my field of view, that's a sign of a hyperactive brain. I can literally see my adhd. It's like a visual tinnitus. I also had fuzzy static in my limbs. I started binge eating disorder to combat the gender dysphoria I was getting from being a boy. It wasn't long after that I couldn't read the books we were doing in middle school. I knew how to read fine, good as anyone I loved it. But now..... I hated it. I kept explaining to them that I could read, I COULD. It just SUCKS. And no one understood me. The anxiety I felt, the physical anxiety, the shitty body feeling, the dysphoria, that's what I was in when I tried to read books that were too boring for me. I just needed different books, not the most boring middle school level English books.. ugh! PG rated bullshit. I couldn't stand it.
I check all the boxes of ADHD symptoms but my therapist says I don’t have it because I can still manage to study a bachelor’s degree (now the postgraduate) and work in the field I always wanted without the need of medication. But it’s reaaaally hard. I have to check everything thousands of times and still sometimes I don’t see the mistakes. I’m always insecure about it and everything spirals quickly. I get easily distracted and then guilt comes along attracting the worst negative thoughts about myself like “you’re a stupid lazy fuck who can’t do anything right.” My therapist did tell me I have trauma symptoms but he doesn’t know if they are due to the fact that I’m adopted (abandonment), my mom is an alcoholic (now in recovery but was drunk most of my childhood and teenage years) diagnosed with bipolar disorder or if something else happened and I have it locked somewhere in my mind. Or it could be a combination of all.
Just started watching your vids. I knew when you started talking about ADHD and the cost, you didn't know a lot about it. You continued to describe adhders inaccurately using a lot of old stereotypes. Might want to dive a little more into that knowledge wise. The main point is not lost but listening to your description was like nails on a chalkboard.
There are 60 of them, or so it seems. Guess he'll come round to it in the end. But it's good to first map out the problem areas and get an overview and then insight in what causes you to feel and behave the way you do. If this is too much for you, is there an easy, non-violent game you can play alongside of listening? It might help you focus on what's been said, if the nervousness is kept under control. What also might help, is when you write down key points or key remarks, that relate to you. To help you sort through. You can also just pause and do something else during your breaks. Like changing the bedding, feeding a pet. Get yourself a nice non-alcoholic drink, make yourself comfortable and take it from there, once more. If necessary the next day you feel up to it. Just sorting things out usually has such a therapeutic strength to it! And to know, that your reactions are normal for what you've been going through. Plus: you are not alone. Millions of people are facing this and trying to get happier again. Wishing you all the strength you need to heal well :)
![[Sub Thai] APT. - ROSÉ & Bruno Mars](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bYjhzP8x_uc/mqdefault.jpg)
Unless your fight or flight reflex is actually freeze. Then cortisol makes sucks away all your energy. you sit still, isolate and sink into a world of maladaptive daydreaming.
How do you fix this??
Me🙋🏼♀️🥲 but i also have distracting tendencies cause i cant bare to be alone sometimes
That’s meeeee?!
Sounds like me
That's what happened to me in my 10 days Vipassana meditation retreat. It was pure hell for me.
“One of the worst punishment to give a person with complex trauma is to put them in a room with nothing to do.” Which is exactly what we do when detaining people in s136 Places of safety: a small, locked room with nothing in it and nothing to do. That’s the real lunacy.
We “treat” mental illness with Isolation, medication, restricting occupation and activity, disconnection.
An absolute travesty
"Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars."
Some of the best treatments are also meditation, yoga, sophrologie...
We need to learn to handle having no activity
@@corentinguillo5577 Choosing isolation and having power over it is different than being forced into isolation.
What is s136 ?
I have struggled with the need for constant distraction for many, many years. In my gut, I knew it was a result of my disordered childhood.
Yeah it's weird how you instinctively know things are deeply wrong about our family at a very early age.
Then we spend a huge chunk of adulthood in denial, blaming ourselves instead, forever adding to the chaos with our string of maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Then once we fall flat on our faces one too many times you just go back to the drawing board and finally realise that "huh. Yeah. Maybe childhood and upbringing really did have something to do with all of this"
I think we've all just got so out of touch with ourselves and what we already knew was true.
Its easily done when outside forces are the loudest.
Pastor Tim, can you talk about avoidance/fear of responsibility and moving forward in life (due to low confidence in self and fear of failure, etc)? I love your videos. They’re incredibly helpful. I’ve been in recovery for 2.5 years now, for the last time. I wish I lived closer to your organization, because I would love to seek your services and come to your groups.
Id love this
You just described me!!! I’d love to understand this about myself.
Would also love to hear this! Growing up with undiagnosed autism and trauma from bullying/emotional neglect has left me avoidant and stuck in flight/freeze mode, and that needs to change.
Me too! I relate to this so much. I have missed opportunities because of fear and avoidance and I feel stuck. I don’t want to say I haven’t made some good choices, but it’s been a hard road.
Honestly think Tim has some of the best content out there on Complex Trauma. I am a bit triggered by the pastor aspect as much of my trauma is related to being raised in a Christian cult but I appreciate that he separates his preaching from his mental health advice pretty well. Kudos Tim, I appreciate what you do very much.
I was also in a religious cult and anything having to do with religion is a trigger for me as well. I just found this channel and he seems spot on about CT so I’m going to try to ignore the “pastor” part.
X2❤
A cult, in the context of religion, means a mind control cult.
Mind control means the religion has actual mind control techniques in place, even and especially as doctrine, to purposely deceive and manipulate an individuals thoughts and emotions in order to incentivize the individual to join and emotionally blackmail, intimidate, and coerce someone into staying even if they don't believe in it anymore.
Perfect example... the Jehovah's Witnesses are an actual mind control cult, and so are the Scientologists, because they literally use the text book on mind control tactics in order to gain and retain members and harass and punish those who wish to leave or who do leave.
The LDS church, aka "Mormons", DO NOT use mind control tactics to gain or retain members. In fact, they say "do not take our word for it, pray to God and follow what he guides you to do. God will tell you if it is true or not"... whereas the JW's will tell you to never read the Bible on your own without their special watchtower materials or else you might "revert to the Christianity that is run by Satan, which is everyone but us, and all these bad things will happen to you and we discourage you from ever getting mental healthcare and do not call the police if one of our memebers molests your child, and you absolutely should not attend college or we will revoke your father's elder priviledges" and so on and so forth.
Therefore, the LDS church is NOT a mind control cult, while the Jehovah's Witnesses are absolutely a mind control cult.
Every religion has its own culture, this does not make the religion a mind control cult. Disagreeing with a religion's beliefs or doctrines does not make them a mind control cult.
@gesagin1 The thing that kills me about you anti-God people is that you have a problem with someone else's beliefs, even though it isn't your business, but yet you expect no one to have a problem with yours.
Arrogance, selfishness, and an utter lack of empathy for others.
Ever wonder why he is the best speaker on this subject? It's because he understands the soul and its reaction to the apparent absence of God in this world and resultantly, the soul's perception of the abscence of Love and the way the ego and subconsciousness reprogram the brain in order to protect the soul from the pain this absence causes.
Because complex trauma is not only emotional and psychological... it is spiritual as well.
WHY DO MY REPLIES KEEP DISAPPEARING?!?!
Why wouldn't any single medical or behavioral professional in all my years have ever explained to me the different types of ADHD and their characteristics/symptoms? Just that information alone sheds an incredible amount of light on my understanding of my struggles with ADHD. I recently discovered your channel and have been binging every day. I have
lived over 5 decades without a solid break from abuse and trauma.
Most recently and by far the most brutal and severe was from my husband of
12 years.
Turns out he's
a malignant, covert narcissist (the most dangerous kind). He literally destroyed my entire world both internally and extremely. My body pretty much completely shut down after decades of living in survival mode. I'm determined to heal an entire lifetime of unfathomable abuse and, break free from this life sentenc of C-PTSD.
I have done nothing but spend every waking minute of every day for nearly 4 years, educating myself in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma. Your talks have been the most helpful I've found to date because of how you explain it like you are telling a story... MY STORY. You are changing the world.... MY WORLD! 💕
Sure hope you can heal well!
I'm not fond of you placing the locus of control on others for you not understanding the ADHD. Nothing stopped you from diving into that. So many books, reports, internet information available and even conferences to attend.
You've been victimized a lot, but you are not 'just' a victim. You learning all this is helping you put order into the world. Perhaps you can later on help others too :)
Don't forget to work out (cardio and weight use)! And positive affirmations(I love the Bible ones)! So glad you're getting your life back!
Ironically, I used this video as a distraction while doing other stuff...
😂 same
Same! 😂
while watching this video I was thinking of looking up what books Tim might have written on the subject, instead of just stopping and listening to what he thinks about it right now! Insane.
same here ! 🇦🇺
😂
My partner was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD., when he was 3 years old. I can totally see how with the way his parents were, that was part of the reason for his actions. He, also almost died after he got some vaccines, I think he was about 1or 2, when it happened .
All of it, combined made him to be who he was.
The environment, really does matter, how it affects babies/children. But, also how my partner came into this world. His mom says he was doing flip flops, from the moment he could kick and move in the womb. And, he never stopped with his energy.
I loved him. But, life got in the way. Our relationship became very toxic. He never got the help he needed. He became very narcissistic, with his actions. Especially, towards the end. My partner became sick, and died.
It has messed me up a bit. I have my own issues. Thank you.
That sucks. I hear you.
Sorry to hear this.
I'm sorry about what you have gone through
Thank you for sharing and you are heard. Im sorry
That's hard! Sorry for your loss! It really is very hard to have a relationship--a healthy one--with people who have some of these problems...It's hard not to respond in a way that ultimately feeds the narcissistic pieces of the person.😢spiral down!
So true. That’s why I had an addiction to horror movies and horror audiobooks for 10 years. I had to listen 12-14 hours a day.
I'm listening to this as I take the dog out because I wanted a video to distract me lol. Thank you.
Me too.❤
Distract from what you need too focus on your mutt so it doesn't bark at someone or lets say attack a person
X2😂
I cant sit in a metro without distraction
😂
Bless us
Hard to tease out, but ADHD and CPTSD seem almost indistinguishable. Never judge, that's what I learn over and over
Probably the same thing. Or related. The professionals are struggling to figure out what is really going on.
Tomato, tomato 🍅
They are distinguishable. My gf has cptsd and I have adhd and we're both very different people. Are symptoms are different. If a cptsd person is very relaxed then they can focus just fine. Me I can be relaxed and still struggle heavily to focus
@@foraminutethere23 If a CPTSD person is calm, they must be on drugs. I am almost never calm. Maybe when I’m asleep. Maybe not even then.
@@elainehiggins713 it's a part of why I'm addicted to marijuana. It makes me become focused and engaged in things that would normally be boring to me.
It’s one thing to not connect. It’s another thing to hurt and abuse those who try to connect with you, even after that safe person has given you years to heal. When my abuser crossed that line I had to let him go, even though he was only 18. I still pray for him every day. He gives me the silent treatment because I enforced my no abuse boundary. Hardest thing I’ve ever done but if I hadn’t he would have taken the whole rest of the family down with him.
How old were you when you "let them go?" Were you their parent?
@@jackwalker4957 I said I let him go but he actually let me go. He gave me the silent treatment again after he broke my boundary. He’s adopted. I thought I could love him through it but he wouldn’t let me. He sabotaged himself and physically and emotionally abused every member of our family. I mean domestic violence-choking, sexual abuse, raging. But only toward us and people who knew him very well. Charming and manipulative to everyone else. He’s a narcissist.
16:43 ADHD is a naturalism outcome in a child who is in a dangerous environment… love it!! So true!!
Lol non-stressed, emotionally available and consistent. Exactly the OPPOSITE of my mother growing up…
I was brought into this world to help HER regulate her emotions and undiagnosed adhd 😂. Why would I expect to receive consistent care?? I was already born “perfect” and “gifted” so why would they have to do any parenting??
I can relate mightyly
BOOOM
Also, so many kids, including myself had to work from the day we were born. Clean, mow, work in the business. Mostly it appeared fun. But child labour, guilt for either being to tired to clean the house everyday, or deal with other people's emotional regulation issues everyday. People have kids so they can work and then ship them off to a job. And not much else. This is quite common. Even now.
I worked on farms too, before high school. I suppose I learned work ethic, but some of the adult stuff with money and work at 10 or so is daunting for a kid. Especially if it's an expectation, and perfection is the expectation.
I envy kids that were raised as kids. Whatever that means or is supposed to look like.
For what it's worth, I had some ways to get away, have fun, fight back, fight for my rights etc.
At 50, I started the healing process. At 51, I'm seeing the light, for my peaceful future and present.
Life was one big struggle after another. And barely any cheering in my corner. A working childhood is an isolated, and alienated one. I hope children of today don't have to work like a dog and still get disrespect from their parents or siblings.
It took years to convince my parents that education, a degree, and a logical path to a wonderful job was an option. I started a career in my 30s. Parents saw retail and minimum wage as sustainable? Or working for them for 20$ a week, 80$ a month into my 20s.
Eventually, I needed to learn from real, caring, smart people how to go to school, get a degree, get a career, find a place to live and leave the past behind. It took about 10 years with a life coach to understand how the world really works. Parents can willfully keep you in the dark to keep you working for them for pennies. And of course, they tell the world, that you are paid and well fed. Lies. Once my outside friends found out I got paid 20$ a week. They were like, that's not right. It took years for me to clue in and get from under their power or magical manipulation of me and other family members. Kind of a sickness of sorts.
I forgave them and live elsewhere. I get a paycheck and earn a living.
Stockholm syndrome is real.
Me too😢 same😢
After leaving the Christian church 3 decades ago, I haven't felt pulled back to it, yet I find that I most often choose to stay for this part and really enjoy the stories and the way you relate them to CPTSD.
I began a series from my church on my channel if you want to check it out. I have CPTSD as well and Welp I’m here now at 4am am this first 5min drew me in
Yooo. I left the Christian church too. My "Christian" mother is a narcissist. Not to mention the people at church gave me the worst "church hurt" after telling their kids not to associate/hang out with me because I was from a broken home. I had to realize that there's sick people everywhere, even in the church, and it isn't a reflection of God. Just a reflection of broken people pretending to be "Christ like" without really ever bothering to read and or internalize what Jesus teaches.
I ended up coming back and finding God again and really trying to change myself for the better through that power. There are no perfect churches, but I found one that has some genuine caring people. Hope you find yours as well.
@@shadowfax9177 hey brother tap in with me. I do virtual lessons and we learn and grow together but I have a lot to offer and it’s a safe space I don’t let anyone bully my sis Tibet’s or people to learn. I’d love for you to join us. 5Pm CT tonight tap in I’ll be live
All us kids with narcissist parents have ADHD.
Yes, and emotionally immature parents. I have seen kids with ADHD like my ex were both parents were lovely but mum was really not present for him when he was little - he has ADHD. I have narcissistic parents and I have ADHD and CPTSD
I think too that emotional neglect could be a factor.
I mean when you constantly get blanked or ignored and have absolutely zero interest n feedback from caregivers your brain is just frantically bouncing around to get any kind of stimulus going
Or at least that's part of what I put my stuff down to.
Narcissistic parenting is also a type of emotional neglect, so it kind of ties in.
Particularly when they're using the silent treatment as a manipulation tactic.
And why _wouldnt_ we be forgetful when you're constantly getting gaslit and have your confidence undermined in everything you do.
You're left not knowing if up is down and vice versa so yeah of *COURSE* I forgot my keys
Why would you know how to prioritize when you're being told every decision you make is the wrong one?
Should I second guess myself again? Have I forgotten something?
Walk on eggshells incase you upset the narcissist, better yet just leap over them completely n bounce off the walls lol
Huh what? Sorry I wasn't listening the barage of abuse has started again.... 😒
Because im clinically diagnosed with servere ptsd and have been some time by multiple psychiatrists and clinical psychologists. A symptom of ptsd is avoidance which i use destraction for i can rule my whole day with distraction when im not destracted and theres nothing i fear the possiblity of remembering traumatic events that were very life threatening and that fear of the possibity of remembering those things or start thinking abouts events is strong enough to push me to constant destraction to avoid them.
I am sooo glad you pull in things from Gabor Mate! He makes sure people see the vital link of connection between child and caretaker of any kind!
This is a program for every teacher, adolescent, parent
Insightful response!
Thank you! This is important! I haven’t been diagnosed with cptsd but I know I’m suffering from it. Left my narcissist husband of 40 years and need distractions
I just filed for divorce and moved to another state, left him everything he also is a narcissist…
“Pills aren’t skills” is an important perspective to have. Meds help us to create the skills to deal with ADHD symptoms. Great presentation, btw.
This speaks to me. My parents never abused us, but they abused one another. And, being poor and mixed race in a world where that was not common, the world abused us as well. Everyone, I guess, has a cross to bear.
I guess I should work on the reasons I feel the need for distractions--and develop some better habits.
What world did you grow up in?
Sorry you went through that... Family trauma and racial trauma are both really hard things to deal with.
Thanks! I wish I could tell you my story so that you could understand the huge significance of your teachings affecting me in ways that 40 years of seeking has never done. Clearly I am ready to hear it and I praise God for you.
Another side is children have a different attachment to adults who instill fear in them. Frozen watchfulness is a recognised behaviour in children and also in adults who live in fear of someone who creates fear in a family. This was the case in my family. While most of us stayed quiet, my youngest sister who was born premature, appeared, to be constantly attracting attention, she possibly had adhd , in retrospect, and as a result was often punished for no good reason. Living with one parent who was bipolar and the other who was a narcissist is dangerous both to your physical and mental health.
I have recently noticed I easily distract to any other incomplete activity (task, project, studying & journaling), until it becomes emotionally stirring. I cannot stay focused and will get up to use the bathroom, answer the door and find a different, incomplete activity and with real intent, I attempt to complete that one. I see that I make 5 minutes of additional progress and the moment I see a simple, quick chore that I can complete in less that 15 seconds or "I am going into that room anyway, so I'll grab that, too" and carry things in my arms for an hour.. It has caused such a feeling of fragmentation.
Omg i do the same thing! I end up walking around the house carrying all sorts of things that i just never remember 2 actually put down haha 😬
math & science!
there's no crying in functions and facts
they're safe❤
@@mistypfitzer111I have a plastic tub (like that would fit in a sink) and gather items while moving room to room. It helps me stay present with why I'm in the room and basically "filing" the distraction in the "later" box.😅
I stepped out of my trauma through bodywork. I essentially felt my nervous system downshift twice, and the second time I thought I had a stroke it seemed so slow. It took me a minute to realise that I was just in real time for the first time in my life. I have been in the moment / flow / present / and in the Zone in every aspect of my life since. I'm a massage therapist of 25 yrs, so I was recovering from a siezure and so intune with my body that I understood what was happening. I am off all meds, and have zero anxiety. Its a lovely place to be.
I'm watching while playing Tetris. I think you just described me pretty well.
I am glad God sent this video to my recommends. I'm 26 and have been diagnosed with inattentive adhd at 22. I just spent two hours zoning out on youtube shorts when this came up and I feel God's peace hearing this. I focused on each point and it makes so much sense in regard to my whole family. Thank you Lord
The mental health system will have you believe your humanity is mental illness. The more you practice long-term focus, the easier it becomes.
Sincerely,
An ex Ritalin kid.
While applying for a job, listening to this and going back everytime is needed.😅
Sounds like ADHD has become the newest "catch-all" diagnosis. Kind of like "GERD".
Before jumping to Labels, (which can be stigmatizing), We must begin at the Source.. the Home environment means everything to the development of a young child. A great many of the "symptoms" labeled as ADHD, may simply be ongoing trauma responses.
For each pill created there is a new problem/diagnosis. GERD/heart burn is easly treated with baking soda. The Dr will not tell you that. Drs are not taught diet and homeopathic remedies for healing. Instead they will hand you a perscription or send you to a specialist as if the body is in parts not a whole system. So over the US human destruction system. Generations have been misdiagnosed and mistreated for profit not health and true healing. Best to you on your journey in life as we keep digging for the truth to save ourselves and help others truely heal to live their best lives with us.
Home environment is of no importance in America;s society. A society that focuses heavily on money and working.
I’m listening to this while I’m simultaneously working out and getting my mandatory 10k steps between sets as well as organizing/doing dishes/cleaning/doing laundry 😅
I never sit down and I’m always listening to something while I constantly do something. I usually eat standing up. I haven’t had a TV or a couch for many many years. I have a couch now but I never sit on it.
God led me to find you 😢 I needed this so badly to understand myself! THANK YOU
I truly tried my hardest to do nothing but I realized doing nothing was doing something so I still sit hoping that it becomes nothing overtime but doing nothing over a time is still doing something over time so back to square one. Great presentation, Tim 🙏
Wowza, when I listen to Tim so much of my life makes so much sense.
Thank you for breaking apart the scripture and pulling out that the spirit is willing. I feel like pastors have always read a lot of shame into that verse and read it as a harsh rebuke and failure. Thank you for pointing out their physical fatigue and Jesus’s compassion for Peter even in the soft rebuke/frustration.
I thank you so much for this conversation
And suddenly everything is understandable to me, the guilt, the social problems, and the narcissistic environment that does not allow connection,
I have no words to thank you
Important to keep in mind (for children and adults alike), is to incorporate an anti-inflammatory diet, which includes nutrients needed to grow and support healthy brain function. Detoxification is another aspect to consider.
Absolutely 💯💯💯 agree! We need to be taught from a young age how our food can either be medicine or can cause ill-health & inflammation. Why were we taught about inflammation at school? Food plays such a major role in our mental & emotional health.
Can you please explain the meaning of an inflammatory diet and it’s anti? 🙂
@@vikramad36
Different individuals thrive on different diets, yet in general inflammation is reduced by cutting out highly refined processed foods with harmful additives, and when going low carb/high fat alongside regular periods of fasting. Some do very well on carnivore, testifying how various disorders are healed.
You might be interested in looking into the work of Nutritional Psychiatrist Georgia Ede, MD Natasha Campbell McBride, MD Jason Fung, Prof. Tim Noakes, MD David Unwin, MD Gary Fettke, MD Ken Berry (and others), who are all focussing on incorporating nutritional advice in treatment of patients.
@@vikramad36
Had shortly penned down some recommendations twice; both times deleted... Interesting 🧐
@@maricamaas2326 oh, thx for trying 🙏🏼 much appreciated 👍🏼
I absolutely love these talks, so useful and healing, and also a great distraction, thanks!
Your amazingly brilliant
Sadly I've been described to a T.
This Doc is so spot on
I need to get help
This helps iron out a lot... I am glad that I compensate you by being a member. I can freely partake of this wisdom without guilt. These are ideas I have been looking for for a long time. I have always liked Gabor and followed him, but you extrapolate things from his work in a way that caters much more precisely to my situation. I have been looking to put this problem in perspective since the 1980's. I always constantly make mistakes because I was never taught by a person I was connected to and I have problems with learning!!! Thank you again!
Damn. All of your vids adding to my mountain of symtoms. How does one even get the energy to begin to tackle what seems like an impossible mess. :/
No rush, piece by piece youll lighten your load, you have all your life to work on yourself, thats what I always think aboutand it comforts me. One little habit at a time 🧡
This is a lifetime work. I would say make a list. Place the ones you feel are at the highest priority of healing(like shame) and start working. It IS overwhelming, but all we have is time. Chip away day by day. Know that as long as you are moving forward just a little bit and working, that is enough.
Amazed to see the title of this post. I am not the only odd one???
Thank you Tim for addressing my doubts and concerns. God Bless your ministry.
Thanks Pastor Tim, knowing myself as my Father sees me brings me further out of the trauma of my past moment by moment.
You probably dont give a shit but if you guys are bored like me during the covid times you can stream all of the new series on instaflixxer. Been binge watching with my girlfriend these days =)
@Javion Cohen yup, have been watching on instaflixxer for months myself :)
@Javion Cohen Definitely, I've been using InstaFlixxer for since november myself =)
@Javion Cohen Yea, have been watching on instaflixxer for since december myself :D
"What is it I don't want to feel? And let's fix that." Easier said then done. People are stressed because they live in constant fear of not being able to pay the bills. People live in crime ridden environments. Many are facing health problems or have a close one with that. People walk on eggshells near a family member or colleague or manager with narcissistic traits. Children, and adults as well, are bullied on a daily basis (especially the nicer ones, it seems). Unrighteousness and power abuse prevails. There's much abuse and stress in many schools and classrooms. Do something about that and your epidemic might come down a lot.
This is being done on purpose. There is no will to improve things--quite the opposite. It's not called a beast system for nothing.
Nobody said it would be easy.
@@svmwasthesheet1971 What kind of a stupid answer is that?
I was merely pointing out, that there are a lot of sociology factors involved, that are not mentioned here.
Gosh, I hate it when people are This Ignorant.
@@Fawn91193 ??? This is NOT called a beast system. This is just ordinary humans behaving badly towards each other. Greed and theft are major contributors to any problem in a culture.
@@Fawn91193Seriously. Glad someone else has eyes to see.
I think it's both genetics and environment. Epigenetics has proven that gene expressions can change according to environmental stressors or even diet. If mothers are stressed and suffering while pregnant, what's to say that it doesn't change the epigenetic expression of the fetus in development? Given that trauma can be generational, it can create generational genetic change as well.
Exactly! So many variables! I (reportedly) threw up every time after eating for the first two years of life!! My hippie Uncle ordered poi from Hawai'i and had it sent. Probably saved my life, but did not make the parents behave like human beings.
So many complexities.
Thank you so much for freely publishing this information online.
It's uncomfortable how close these described circumstances are to my own-and I am SO grateful God has been dealing with me so deeply for so long that many of the outcomes have been mitigated. God's love and compassion are so very tangible when you have zero people on earth who understand you and you just ask for His help!
It helps to have pastoral leadership who allow time in their meetings for people to just pray and/or cry to God!❤🎉
Thank you! Your lectures helping me to understand myself and have the intention to start doing the right for me things to improve the pain and discomfort inside.
Huge respect from Turkey.
I just happened upon this I knew right away you are a pastor 😅. Thank you for addressing these complex issues. Sometimes these distractions become beautiful Art, Music, Literature etc...
Was son was born distracted! He was so hyper and did not sleep well for years! He had so many problems breast feeding and then bottle feeding. He would stay up all night as a toddler. He really was born with adhd. He has also been diagnosed with ASD. I know it’s not my fault but it’s hard to not blame myself.
Babies act out the stress inside the parent even while in the womb. Parents job to be healthy mentally for their children begins before conception.
Even when doing an activity I also need my EarPods in listening to TH-cam or music. Although it has to be the right music….whatever that is 🤷♀️
Meeee toooooo!!! 😮
As for ADHD or ADD the environment of the family and diet are all factors.
😊recently I’ve found your studies on trauma and I’m following you…daily
With your approach I can easily follow..the unfolding of the trauma in my life..as I’ve recently learned I’ve had a lifetime of exposure to events causing this .. very valuable for me
Thank you 😊
Beautiful video. Well expressed and helpful to many, to varying degrees.
I am a mother who was severly depressed after giving birth to my son. It was just before covid era. And now we are in diagnostic process,but probably he Has ADHD. I knew it, that it is because od how terrible mother I was for him, not on purpose, of course. Body,but You told me this. Thank You!
It's not too late. Be soft and kind with your precious little one. And with yourself. May we all be free of suffering. ❤
@@jl3268 thank You for these kind words. I went to therapy,because I cannot let myself ruin innocent child's life. Keep warm, I wish You all best 😘
A lot of these are triggering for me. But these are the best gift you could give to the world, after witnessing for the Christ. Thank you.
Solitary confinement for 9 moths after I got arrested for drugs about 30 years ago. Was in jail 2 years waiting for their case to complete, it was hell. Almost got 40 years for what amounted to a 2nd year o chem practical exam. Was MDMA as a desperate last ditch attempt to heal what was broken. Ended up 2000x more broken afterwards 😕💩💀
Exactly what it's like, I have been living with this for years!
I know I need to watch this, but I just watched the other one about this disassociation. I probably need to watch that one again.
My rock is Christ. There is not a human on Earth who could ever be a rock and never get sick, die, or change and leave you.
Me too Jesus always helps 🙏
Appropriate and how it's supposed to be! I agree, same for me, only I am also now opening up all the doors to other Master Ascenders and Angels and it is incredible how much we are actually supported by all Divinities if we just invite them in and concentrate on conscious awareness, creating the life you now want. The I AM affirmations and violet flame of St. Germain are extremely powerful and God's gift given to all in our heart spark and we can expand this tool of the Holy Spirit and transmute all misqualified negative energies. I AM is God's name and He told us it is Full God Activity in us; we just have to make connection and stay in our I AM Presence in the now, which is the only real point of power to be able to change past, present and future , thanks be to God, Holy Spirit who is the feminine aspect of God for us here on Earth, Liason for all the living and our Mother Earth and all Divinities. We can truly access the power of God to meet all our needs with prosperity ! Try it , it's miraculous , as it's what's keeping me going, facing everything and entirely transforming after a lifetime of abuse and betrayal and neglect , I AM now, EverPresently, meeting my own needs with the I AM that I AM, activating the Authentic Holy Christ self within - this is the rebirth of immortality and the most glorious joy !!! This is what's required to Ascend ourselves and the planet, the Divine plan is in motion and we can accelerate it and prosper beyond our imaginations, thanks be to God. Think , believe, visualize and have faith in and decree what you want, with the Mighty I AM Presence and positive constructive word phrases which overwrite and easily override the subconscious with God-coded programming when you invite God's will to merge with your own free will ⚡⚡⚡🔥💜🔥🎶🙏🏼😇🕊️💫
(We have been grossly misusing the I AM by following it with a negative word or phrase which literally creates that reality because we thought so and felt so and said so, is why human consciousness and behaviour and history keeps repeating itself. The worst programming is in negative word codes and limitation and the downward cursing spiraling effect created in humanity feeding the abuse and illness cycles all programming for DIS EASE and stress and death. (Also eating death if we eat animal corpses). The focus must be on the Ascension Resurrection immortal transformation , Eternal Life which is our God given estate, NOT the crucifixion and death which is what orthodox pagan systems and ideas indoctrinated us with to our detriment.and programming through our word coded language ! We are Divine Immortal Beings in God Love Perfection with Christ-Love Consciousness ! Not mere humans programmed for physical gratification etc.)
AMEN!!
Distraction is also useful for distracting oneself from chronic physical pain. It is now realised that pain is a universal experience, impacting physical and emotional, and spiritual. The brain does not distinguish between these different modalities of experience.
Updating your RAS (reticular activating system) in the brain,
(which is the filtering net of incoming stimuli)
allows you to shift at what
and where: you are looking...
You have a limited number of choices...
Updating the RAS shifts your consciousness...
I might have a plea for connecting this sort of story to how people’s diets and Epigenetics is totally connected, especially considering my story.
I can totally see how a story like mine would help millions.
so helpful, thank you so very much Tim. Bless you
This guy is cooler than God! I'm so Thankful for his illuminations.
Tim your spitting fire brother, you have bar after bar after bar, straight dripping no capp!!! Mindblown
I suffered complex truama and was diagnosed with CPTSD. Distractions were my life. I have used it to educate my self and develop my hobbies. Educating myself helped free me from the cycles. As long as i take care of myself and maintain my awareness of potential triggers I don't slip. So what if i live my life slower now, I am more comfortable.
Love these videos
I wasn't Taught to have a relationship with myself or to know what I want in my life I wasn't hot any of these things and so being alone have been hard and wanting to constantly escape from the feelings of been alone with myself by having distractionshe's helped me cope by not feeling I still have a problem with that somewhat Today not as much but somewhat
Thanks!
I am so Glad that God sent this video series in my life. Lord please heal us, your children so that we can be better parents.
Great lecture
This video explains all of my emotional issues
ADHD can be seen on brain scans these days. People with ADHD have different brains and connections. They did a study on this by scanning the brains of 12.000 U.S. children age 9 and 10 at the Yale school of medicine. Hopefully this is going to be the new standard in testing for ADHD because there are so many misdiagnoses these days. C-ptsd mimics lots of the same symptoms. But not all people with ADHD have trauma in their lives.
I'm finding these talks are far more helpful than all the "christian" preaching out there.
Enlightenment isn't always divine.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
This world is so difficult to live in, because we are sinned against so often! And we are not free from sinning ourselves.
The Christian preaching leads us on the path of being forgiven ourselves and to stop contributing to the problems in this world and start contributing to the solutions in this world.
Saved by grace
It's sad to watch these videos because I feel it's so late for me. I self destructed so much that now it's virtually impossible for me to get these things in order. :(
I really can relate to your comment, but want to empower you and myself, that it's better late than never. Things come in the right time... Even if we can't see it that way
never give up! 💫
Thanks!
This explains why failing on hanging up curtains on Easter set me into a deep one..
Thank you helped me so much
Assuming that the percentages you mentioned are accurate ( which is a huge assumption) It stands to reason that there is an obvious trend going on within which it seems evident to me that we're witnessing the birth of a new industry. Another aspect of pharmaceutical capitalism
I think if there is a cause/effect relationship between adhd and trauma it is likely the adhd that causes the trauma. I had noteworthy neuro-atypicalities by the time I was a year old. Seems unlikely that was caused by trauma. But I was diagnosed with adhd at about 10 and by then was already traumatized by how different I was and how exasperated that made other people.
i put this on to distract myself during work.. then tuned out in the middle of the checklist
Adhd (link to trauma theory) getting diagnosed more bc just about all divorce cases with a kid involved end up in family court.
& most of those cases involve narcissistic abuse.
Kids are traumatised in daycare.
Mothers can't be mothers anymore.
Coincidentally traumatised ppl are easier to control ;)
Two years ago I tried to go sit on the beach. I was SO bored!! Just sitting there. Nothing to do. I have no idea how all of those people can just sit there hour after hour. But I guess they did not have bad childhood. ??? Of course I was never taken to a beach as a kid even though it was close by.
There's more to life than trauma. Some people enjoy the view, the sound of the waves, the chatter and laughter of children, the basking in the sunlight. Some others are bored out of their minds, even if not traumatized at all. They like hiking, camping, exploring, seeing new things.
Many people on a beach read, do some Sudoku, make a little stroll, go have some fun with each other in the water.
Being all by yourself there will bring you nothing much, when you are an extrovert. You need to go to the beach with friends then.
Great video
Wow I am 50 and have had many of these problems for years! I always thought there was something wrong with me. I don’t wa t to go on medication. So what would be the solution for these issues? Especially organizing! As in organizing my life? Thanks for this video 🙏
True ADHD is biological. There are A LOT of wrong diagnosis out there because traumas and anxiety can make you distracted.
Great talk mate. Much appreciated. 🇦🇺🙏🏼
Beautiful story 😢🙏🏻
I will be safe focused on the things that matter to me
I was traumatized hard by children tormenting me for being trans. There was a particularly bad time when I was painting my nails in class and nearly the whole class got in on tormenting me. I'm 5 years old. Me ego is weak from fending off harassments from days prior. And it just dies. It's scary enough to have an ego death as an adult but as fucking 5 year old?? It's torture. I had a psychotic break and ran out of the room, didn't know who I was, I was so scared. I vomited. My mom came and picked me up and brought me to urgent care. I was catatonic, at least I think I was. I remember not saying anything. The new ego comes about with one priority above all others, never experience that again. And I gave my ego the keys to the kingdom. It had complete control over me. So I changed my gender, to that of a boy, so the harassment would stop, and it did. Lovely society we have... I'm not sure how much later it was that I first saw Visual Snow in my field of view, that's a sign of a hyperactive brain. I can literally see my adhd. It's like a visual tinnitus. I also had fuzzy static in my limbs. I started binge eating disorder to combat the gender dysphoria I was getting from being a boy. It wasn't long after that I couldn't read the books we were doing in middle school. I knew how to read fine, good as anyone I loved it. But now..... I hated it. I kept explaining to them that I could read, I COULD. It just SUCKS. And no one understood me. The anxiety I felt, the physical anxiety, the shitty body feeling, the dysphoria, that's what I was in when I tried to read books that were too boring for me. I just needed different books, not the most boring middle school level English books.. ugh! PG rated bullshit. I couldn't stand it.
Amazing
I check all the boxes of ADHD symptoms but my therapist says I don’t have it because I can still manage to study a bachelor’s degree (now the postgraduate) and work in the field I always wanted without the need of medication.
But it’s reaaaally hard. I have to check everything thousands of times and still sometimes I don’t see the mistakes. I’m always insecure about it and everything spirals quickly.
I get easily distracted and then guilt comes along attracting the worst negative thoughts about myself like “you’re a stupid lazy fuck who can’t do anything right.”
My therapist did tell me I have trauma symptoms but he doesn’t know if they are due to the fact that I’m adopted (abandonment), my mom is an alcoholic (now in recovery but was drunk most of my childhood and teenage years) diagnosed with bipolar disorder or if something else happened and I have it locked somewhere in my mind. Or it could be a combination of all.
This is gold
Just started watching your vids. I knew when you started talking about ADHD and the cost, you didn't know a lot about it. You continued to describe adhders inaccurately using a lot of old stereotypes. Might want to dive a little more into that knowledge wise. The main point is not lost but listening to your description was like nails on a chalkboard.
Ecellent. Thank you ❤
Nailed me.
I struggle so si much with time management and it's ruining my life ☹️
Does this video offer solutions? I feel nervous to watch
There are 60 of them, or so it seems. Guess he'll come round to it in the end. But it's good to first map out the problem areas and get an overview and then insight in what causes you to feel and behave the way you do.
If this is too much for you, is there an easy, non-violent game you can play alongside of listening? It might help you focus on what's been said, if the nervousness is kept under control. What also might help, is when you write down key points or key remarks, that relate to you. To help you sort through.
You can also just pause and do something else during your breaks. Like changing the bedding, feeding a pet. Get yourself a nice non-alcoholic drink, make yourself comfortable and take it from there, once more. If necessary the next day you feel up to it.
Just sorting things out usually has such a therapeutic strength to it! And to know, that your reactions are normal for what you've been going through. Plus: you are not alone. Millions of people are facing this and trying to get happier again.
Wishing you all the strength you need to heal well :)